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the forbidden days of mcphantom

Chapter Text

god

The stadium was packed. Cheers filled the open air, superfans of the racers screaming for their idols. One particular name rang throughout the stadium.

“Lightning! Lightning! Lightning!” The crowd roared. From the front row, a young man’s blue orbs lit up in excitement and admiration for the same vehicle. This adolescent, Daniel Fenton had been a fan ever since he first caught a glimpse of Lightning McQueen’s sleek chrome at age 12, just as the car was beginning his career; one of the youngest to join the races at just 15. Merely seeing Lightning on the screen wasn’t enough, eventually, he had to make it to a live competition. That day is today. It was the 69th annual Piston Cup, and Danny had managed to finally score some of the best seats in the house.

“Gentlemen! Start your engines! And may the best woman …..win!” The announcer, RuPaul, shouted through the PA.

Danny was absolutely shivering with anticipation as he witnessed the countdown to the beginning of the race. His eyes were glued onto the ethereal custom built gas guzzler. He witnessed him whisper to himself the same thing that he did before all of his races: “Speed. I am speed.” The boy did not know if anyone else had ever taken note of this little quirk, as it was never mentioned in an interview, and thus thought of it as a little secret shared between the two of them.

“3...2….1!” The aroma of burnt rubber already permeating the air as the wheels spun across the asphalt.  The tires rotated like a rotisserie chicken powered by 33 bees, and the cars were already halfway through the track. Lap after lap, Danny waited with bated breath, palms sweating profusely as Lightning had stalled early on and was now far behind the lead, Chick Hicks. “You can do it Lightning~sama… you are speed!” Danny uttered, and looking up, he couldn’t believe his eyes.

Just as he let out his exclamation, Lightning was turning into the lane that passed directly in front of his seat. It seemed as though his long-time idol had heard his words of encouragement, and flashed him a brisk wink as he bulleted past. Danny’s heart leapt into his throat. Just seconds after, he pulled into 2nd place.

“Aye, matey!” Hicks busted out as Lightning pulled up beside him. “Eat dust!” Lightning wouldn’t allow mere words to faze him.

“You can’t hurt me, these tires are Gucci .” He snarled, flashing his pearly white teeth. “KACHOW!” He bellowed, revving his engines and zipping ahead of the Hitler car.

The crowd surged in delight, as wild as a wildebeest. Danny’s heart go pit-a-pat. As the racers pulled into the final stretch of the race, Chick and Lightning were neck and neck. But McQueen stayed strong, that mysterious young boy’s words ringing in ears. He grungled, “I am speed.” to himself one last time, before ripping through the finish line, the announcer waving that oh-so familiar checkered flag.

 

~*~*~* cut 2 da crowd after da race XD *~*~*~*

 

Paparazzi’s cameras let out great flashes in the young racer’s eyes, and filled his ears with hollered questions. Scores of fans surrounded him, but he was searching for only one. Each screaming girl in the crowd felt love for McQueen, but none could compare to what Danny felt.

Danny knew he should only use his powers for the safety of others, protecting them from the Ghost Zone, but this was his one and only chance. He knew what he had to do. Subtly going ghost, he phased through everyone in front of him, re-materializing at the very front, closest to his hero. As the two locked gazes, McQueen’s eyes widened in shock and recognition.

Quickly motioning towards his manager, who managed to divert the attention away from him for a moment, Lightning firmly took hold of Daniel’s hand, ripping him away from the hullaballoo. Danny wheezed, unable to process what was occurring. He quickly dragged him inside Mack’s big ol box.

Huffing and puffing, Lightning muttered, “Gomen nasai for startling you like that… I figured we should have at least gotten to the third date before I’m that rough with you.” Danny’s ghostly pale face became as red as McQueen’s paintjob.

“O-oh gee whiz!” Daniel gasped.

There was a moment of silence, before Lightning, still riding on the highs of victory, swooped in and locked lips with Daniel. At first, the boy could not do anything, simply remaining frozen in shock. Lightning hastily pulled away. “I-I’m so sorry...I don’t know what came over me-” He started, before Danny drew him back in.

“No, it’s alright. I want this.” He whispered. Hooking his fingertips over McQueen’s grill, he schlepped him closer. With a soft smile, Lightning dove back in with a gentle vroom . Danny noted that Lightning’s lips were slightly chapped, but it only drove him further in. Eventually, the kiss turned into a battle for dominance, tongues thrashing against one another. The room seemed to heat up a thousand times, suffocating them both, yet only enhancing their passion for each other.

At that moment, no consequence crossed Danny’s mind. He would be the violin to Lightning’s concerto, letting him pluck his strings and bend him any way he wished, creating music together. Interrupting their concert of love, they heard a firm knocking at Mack’s door. Same Manager From Before’s voice rung out, “Kid, you gotta see who’s here! It’s Gucci himself! You have to talk to him-what are you even doing in there?”

The two parted reluctantly, both lusting for more of each other. Danny wanted to spelunk right into Lightning’s gaping maw, and Lightning wanted to skadoodle into Danny’s Ghostal Zone. Heart heavy, Lightning rested a single tire on the boy’s plush lips, swollen from their session. “Listen, I gotta broom broom outta here. But here’s my phone number-” He drizzled numbers onto Danny’s skin in ketchup. “So we can ketch up later. I want to keep going.” He ended with a chuckle, and Danny responded with a giggle.

McQueen turned his frontal car section away. Danny’s feet were planted onto Mack’s floor, but he wanted to run after him. “Lightning…” Danny extended a hand towards the method of transportation. As the hot rod exited the metal box, he took one last glance over his car shoulder. “Catch you on the flip side, sweetheart.”

Chapter Text

Daniel lay splayed out on him bed, listening emo-ly to his favourite songs, Bring Me To Life by Evanescence, Starstrukk by 3oh!3, and the avocado song because he is white.

Reliving the events of yesterday, Lightning’s words seemed to reverberate in his mind. “Sweetheart… Lightning’s sweetheart, me?” This was impossible, or was it? Danny flipped onto his side, clutching his chest. He let out a deep sigh. He was beginning to doubt himself; what if Lightning was just messing with him? Out of all the fans attending that one race, why Danny? Was Danny just a toy to be discarded? Was Lightning even…

No. Danny couldn’t allow himself to think that. He himself had struggled with his own sexuality for years, only recently coming to terms with it. He thought to himself, perhaps the reason for his uncharacteristic passion was stemming from the hidden desires he’d harboured for so long in his childhood.

Sighing once more, he stretched his arms outwards, but stopping abruptly in the process. The ketchup drizzle remained on his forearm, strings of condiment forming perfect numbers. He gasped lightly, hurrying to pick up his phone. His finger hovered above the keypad for just a moment, thoughts from only moments ago resurfacing. He shook his head, dismissing them quickly before punching the number in. The phone rang once, twice, three times, before a click sounded on the other end, and that voice he’d heard so many times before rang out in his silent room, “Greetings, hi, howdy, welcome, bonjour, buenas noches, buenos dias, good day, good morning, hey, hi-ya, how are you, how goes it, howdy-do, shalom, what’s happening, what’s up?”

“H͈̣̬̤̙͙̙e̳͈̱̭l̴͔̙͔̭l̸̻̼͎͚o̦̲̱̰͕̲” Danny rattled into the receiver. His doki doker was doki doking so speedy-like.

On the other end of the line, something clicked in Lightning’s mind. “Gasp.” Lightning gasped. Could it be? That mysterious sexy beast from the race? “Are you the one from yesterday?”

“Gasp.” Danny gasped. “Can I put you on hold for a second?”

“Ya” Lightning ya’d.

Danny sat there calming down for exactly 48 minutes and 23 seconds. Finally recollected, he replied, “Yes, I’m he from yesterday.”

“Ah. Now hang on- I never got your name, spicy boii.”

Danny wondered how Lightning said boii out loud.

“I’m Danny- Danny Fenton.” Danny said confidently and not lamely. At this, Lightning gave a pleasured “ah”. He finally had a name to match those plush lips and tantalizing blue orbs.

“So why’d you call me, Danny?” Lightning let the name roll off his tongue. Spicy boii had to think about that for a moment. There was no real rhyme or reason to his calling, just a wave of confidence, one that he’d never had because he had two (2) depression(s). However, just at that moment, he recalled something. “Well,” he gargled, “you did say you wanted to carry on.”

Lightning felt a little weak in the axles. He breath’dt’ve’mst’n’t’ll’d quite heavy. Danny could practically feel his car breath in his ear, tickling his inner part of the ear i don’t lnow the word for it but u know the spinny round bit. Immediately he could feel his exhaust pipe tighten. In the meantime, Danny felt a light itching sensation on his pinky toe.

Lightning gave a soft honk of his horn, though he tried to hide it, but Danny had already heard. “Oh, you like that don’t you, you filthy automobile?” Lightning was taken aback by this sudden seme-like outburst, but couldn’t help feeling all the more aroused.

“Y-yes, I did say that.” He grunted softly. “But Danny...we just met yesterday, do you even want to?” He had taken some time to actually think about what they had done, and was worried.

“That may be so, we may have only met in person yesterday, but for me it’s been a lifetime.”

“Oh Daniel...” Lightning whispered.

Danny smiled warmly to himself. “I’m ready.” Lightning gave a shaky exhale, pipe still tastily hard. Danny’s wee wee go up! Sproing! “Well Lightning, shall we?”
“Of course Dathaniel.” Danny let his lil slip pass, knowing that heavy arousal could muddy the mind and ensnare the senses.

“Alright, how do you want to do this?” Danny asked, caringly.

Lightning purred, “Well, I’m rubbing my pipe with my tire, pretty quick. Can you envision it, Daniêl?”

Danny hooted n tooted. “I sure can, pardner. Wanna hear about how we’d do the honky tonk?” He, too, began to palm at his yogurt tosser through his jeans. Panting heavily, he brought the phone to his lips, so that when he talked it’d be a little more like ASMR.

After the vehicle’s groan of affirmation, the mammal continued. “Well, firstly, you’d be on top. Then, I’d reach around and spank your trunk like an African drum.” The other made a slapping noise from the other end. Danny knew he was rubbing out a fat one. He, too, slapped his salami a lil quicker.

“Yeah? And then after that, I’d slip a tire into your slick heat. You’d open so nice, babyboy.” Lightning said through his teeth.

Danny moaned breathily, speeding up his pace. Voice thick with wanton need, he whispered out, “I’d pop open like a pickle jar for you, daddy.”

Danny thought, it’s taking an exceptionally long time for him to finish and bust a phat load. Then, he remembered that you can’t just have speed, you need distance and time too. It’s part of the proper formula. He has an A+ in algebra :)

Taking this into consideration, he began to stroke all the way up to his belly button at 6mph with a wind current from his huffing and puffing going in the opposite direction at 4mph.

Aroused by Daniel’s sudden show of mathematical ability, Lightning’s tire stuttered along his shaft, pumping it like the premium mode on a gas stop, twice more, until he finally busted the spiciest, fattest, thickest load he ever busted. “KA- KACHOW!” He exclaimed, nearly dropping the phone. His holler pushed Danny over the edge, and with a sharp jerk he squawked, “I’m going ghost!”

Smacking his crusty lips, he took a moment to ride out his high. He could hear Lightning panting on the other end. He took a moment to himself and self-reflect on his actions. With a shudder, he realized he had cum all over his crocs. “God damit those were my favourite pair.” He said, sad. This was the 6th time this past 38 hours!

“What was that?” Lightning said, puzzled.

“Oh, nothing...I just nutted all over my favourite crocs is all.” Danny sighed.

“YOUR FAVOURITE CROCS??”

They both sighed simultaneously. The nut was worth it tho. They both agreed. It was so tasty.

“Well, see ya ‘round.” Danny bye-bye’d.

Lightning licked the phone in farewell. He decided that he could wait for more for at least an hour.

Chapter Text

The house of god, Denny’s, America’s one and only best of the best cream of the crop breakfast diner, was waking up at the crack of dawn; the staff were opening the doors at 24/7 o'clock sharp; one of whom were Daniel Fenton. When he was a young man of a mere 14 years, he had thought it would be best for him to take that first leap into the workforce, and applied to his local Deniel’s.

Since he had 2 years of experience under his belt, he was quite skilled at what he did and in fact, practically ran the kitchen. However, his favourite job was being a waiter. The people he met sometimes positively intrigued him. After ringing up a customer and giving a cheery, “Have a day!”, he exhaled a happy sigh, admiring his work crocs. He was so entranced by the crocs that he did not notice the next customer stepping up to the till. He only raised his head when he heard a spluttered, “Donathan??”

Whipping his head upwards he lay eyes on a familiar bright red hood. He felt his heart pound- why was Lightning at his Denny’s?

“Lightning?” He said in equally shocked response. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you going to the Piston Cup Finals?”

Lightning blushed shyly. “I am, but there was a press conference that I had to be at in this town, so they want me here for the whole week.”

The younger male’s eyes lit up. “Really? I-I mean, oh, really?” He blushed, trying to hide his excitement. The racecar had seen, but he found it endearing, causing his engine to delicately rumble.

“You betcha.” He laughed, leaning on the counter, propping a wheel up. “Think I could swing by for breakfast tomorrow too?”

Danny took a moment to calm himself, then tried to sound as cool and collected as he could. “Yeah, stop by anytime. I don’t really get to go home since I have to be here at 24/7 o'clock every day.” Danny chuckled lightly. He hadn’t eaten in 24/7 hours. He wanted to see his family.

Danny stopped moisturizing his hands to be squeaky clean and looked Lightning in the windshield. “Alright-y, now that you’re here, what will you be ordering?” He playfully twiddled a whole spatula in between his fingers. “Well,” Lightning cleared his throat, scanning over the menu. “What the fuk im illiterate i cant fucking read” He scanned over the menu twice, thrice, and fource. “Oh, I think anything you make would be just dandy, Dondy. Surprise me ;)”

Danny did just that. With a wink, he practically skipped into the kitchen, hollering out, “One order o’ Butter! And make it frothy!” After the chef called back, “Gotcha, chief!” he took one unopened stick of butter from the refrigerator and handed it to Danny. With butter in hand, he marched towards the Official Denny’s Chicken: Mathilda McDeniel. “Please and thank you Mathilda.” She gave a hearty squawk, and produced one fried egg. She passed it to Danny on a paper plate of genuine Denny’s gold.

Sauntering back up front, he scanned the room to find the table that his hot rod was seated at. Egg in one hand and now mildly defrosted butter stick in the other, he slid over and served him. “I wonder what it could be.” Lightning said.

“I put the surprise in Kinder Surprise, Lightning.” The black-haired boy enunciated. “Butter’s $0.76, but the egg’s free of charge. You need your protein!”

Lightning grinned, “Thanks for looking out for me, kid.”

Something stirred in Lightning’s muffler. He would think back to it later and pinpoint it as real raw affection, but at the time it was just a force that drove him to come back to the Denny’s every morning. It’s not like Danny could leave anyways because he worked 24/7 hours per hour. Lightning meeting Danny was also a surprise to him every day! Because we all know that time doesn’t exist inside Denny’s.

Though he was busy, he always seemed to find time for his ghostboy. He’d always ask for a surprise in the mornings. He thought Danny was so cute and quirky, the way he’d just come up with a tasty food on the fly. The boy always threw an extra free gift in there secretly, whether it was an egg or an egg. Sometimes he threw in an egg for protein and vitamins.

They’d often exchange brief succs underneath the table and touch wheel to finger whenever nobody was watching. Unfortunately, as their relationship grew, so did Danny’s insecurities. He was always afraid that Lightning didn’t authentically love him. Every once in a while whether it be exchanging soft caresses to some rough n rowdy roughhousin Lightning would seem to hesitate, or pull away. Danny never said anything in those situations. Lightning didn’t either.

 


 

One morning, as Lightning worked away at his butter, Danny asked, “Hey, maybe we should let your manager know? You know, about us.” He smiled, but on the inside his heart raced. Although a slight ashamed that he was testing their love on such a seemingly harmless sentence, Daniell truly wanted Lightning to respond supportively. What happened next, though, was beyond his wildest fears.

Chapter Text

hello everydbody we thought maybe since our fans have been so kind we should give back to the community, so here is danny’s recipe that he gave to lightning in chapter three:) now you, can also cook it at hom!e as well as many more delightful recipes for items on the deniel’s (menu)iel.

 


 

Deniel’s 24/7 Butter n Egg

for those morning when you just need a li’l pick-me-up! sunny side up cholesterol 4 u!!

 

 you will need:

    • any kind of butter that you want! :) salted or made outta goat mild is all okay!! even vegan if that's how you swing
    • egg, just one (big)
  • NOTE: If you do not have access to an Official Denny’s Chicken, you can buy an egg from the convienience store also, it is just fine.

 

Step One: put your butter inside of your refrigerator for a couple of hours i usually like to keep it nice n fermented in there for about maybe 9 or 7.

Step Two: in the meantime, crack the egg onto a plate. (To achieve the authentic, deniel’s taste, you may want to use a 100% gold paper plate)

Step Three: poke the egg with a fork, maybe three times, so that it doesn’t explode in step four.

*remember, we’re not making you do any of these steps. it’s all up to u, the rècipê üśer. adjust  all you want! u want an explosion eggu? shore thing! Haha :)

Step Four: put the egg inside of your handy microwave for 4 Minutes. do not season it that’s not how this works

Step Five: you should now have a delicious, tasty, cooked egg! before you take it out though, grab that butter that you’ve been chilling in one hand. don’t let go of it just keep grasping onto it so that it cooks with your body warmth. then, you can remove the egg from the microwave! Place it in your other hand.

****DO NOT COMBINE THE EGG AND BUTTER INTO THE SAME HAND THAT IS NOT HOW WE DO IT IN DENIE’S.****

Step Six: now that you have a nice cooked egg in one hand, and a butter stick in the other, you are ready to eat! you need to eat it pretty quick though because the butter might melt a little bit but otherwise, it is okay.

mm-mm!

 


 

Baba Yaga’s Good Chilled Bread(t) Soup

just the way baba yaga used to make it :)

nostalgia is running through my veins

 

you will need:

  • bread sized bread flavoured bread (6)
  • milk (some)
  • lukewarm water, fresh from the water tree (44 gallons)

 

Step One: mash that bread, with your hands so that it gets made with love. get in there! just the way baba yaga used to make it!

Step Two: crunch the milk up in your mouth before squirting it into your blender:) then move the bread from your hands into there also, just the way baba yaga used to make it!

Step Three: blend it on any setting until you can hear baba yaga whisper in your ear to you to tell you to stop, just the way baba yaga used to make it!

Step Four: slap that bread-y milk paste into your largest Bowle. the larger the slappity sound the better. then put in all of your water. if not all of it fits in there then your recipe failed and you have to do it again, just the way baba yaga used to make it!

Step Five: and now take a witch broom or other magic apparatus, like a dildo and stir/fold/marinate it until it is all one kind of homogenius fluid. if it looks like baby vomit, that is not right. i don't know what the heck kind of recipe you’ve been reading but it should end up no where near the vomit of a baby. it is soup. just the way baba yaga used to make it!

Step Six: put that soupy boi in the fridge for the night! then in the morning , something should have condensated all around it which means it is ripe. Just the way baba yaga used to make it!

Step Seven: the soup is now more soup-like and you can sipp it through a straw! one of those nice bendy ones should do the trick because it is funner this way; just the way baba yaga used to make it!

mm-mm-mm! baba would be proud! 

 


 

Plump Meat Jello ft. A Couple Cheerios

yum yum in my tum! *slop slop* that's the sound of it sloshing around in there!

 

you will need:

  • jello© powder, clear flavour™
  • as many cheerios as you are able to fit inside of your sock
  • lunchmeats of various species (ex. ham

 

Step One: blend the lunchmeats in with many waters so that it becomes lunchmeat water because this will make the lunchmeat’s juice come out into your water. strain that bad boy so there are no chunks and it is just water with lunchmeat flavour

Step Two: place the lunchmeat water into a pot and get boilin’. if you get impatient you can microwave the water for a while it might not boil but it will be maybe a little warmer than before hopefully *(here’s something that works out for us: cross ur fingers so it has a bigger chance at becoming warm!)*

Step Three: open your pack of clear flavour™ jello©  and put it in your probably hot hot lunchmeat juice! then take the bone from your real lunchmeat and give it a whisk until it fizzes pretty good.

Step Four: what cheerio time! now i know this is a controversial topic but please please please please please please please make sure to only use plain-flavoured cheerios. this is because the recipe CLEARLY does not have honey nut in the title. it is not. anyways take some cheerios and put it in the sock you are wearing, if you have a fungus it is okay unless it is salty then you can use a friend’s sock maybe because we don't want a salt taste.

Step Five: as the jello is currently in the oven becoming congealed, dump the cheerios from the sock into the jello mix. it's IMPERATIVE that you do this exactly halfway between your meat jello being meat jello, and back when it was just fluid that tasted like meat so that the cheerios do not just sink to the bottom or float up to the top and they can be suspended in the air like ghosts of christmas past

Step Six: once your lunch meat cheerio chunk jello has become a gelatinous form, you can pick any kind of way to eat it! you can eat it with any phalanges of your body or you can try eating it with somebody else’s!

mm-mm- mm -mm-mm!

 


 

Oatmeal

it’s oatmeal

 you will need:

  • oat
  • meal

Step One: make oatmeal

Step Three: you are done 

mm i guess

 


 

A Note From The Chief Chêfs

Chapter Text

One morning, as Lightning worked away at his butter, Danny asked, “Hey, maybe we should let your manager know? You know, about us.” He smiled, but on the inside his heart raced. Although slightly ashamed that he is testing their love on such a seemingly harmless sentence, Daniell truly wanted Lightning to respond supportively. What happened next, though, was beyond his wildest fears.

Lightning dropped his eating apparatus. It fluttered down to the ground with a dull plonk. His eyes narrowed and his gaze moved from Danny’s warm blue peepers to the tiled floor. Such an appealing floor. The interior design was truly impeccable. A long, pregnant moment passed before he abruptly rose up out of his seat, voice low, he started, “I- could you give me another pregnant moment? I have to-”

“You have to what, Lightning? You have to think about it?” Danny spoke sharply, sharper than he usually would. This was already turning sour, precisely like Mathilda’s milk would on a steaming summer’s day. He could practically taste it in his mouth. Yum!

Heat flashed in Lightning’s own seeing circles. “Can you chill? I didn't even say that.” He paused, voice faltering before continuing, “What even are we anyways? Do you think we’re some kind of….thing, now? Don't be so naïve.” He scoffed, voice trembling as he dealt the final blow. Danny, previously silent, forcibly pushed his chair backwards, generating a large squeaking noise, rising to match the other’s height.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Danny ejaculated angrily, anger birthing from the casserole-like womb of hurt and shock. “You take that back. Right now.”

“Why? It’s the truth.” The red car sneered, regaining his upper position in the bone of contention.

Danny felt that last statement ripple through his heart. Stinging tears began to spring into his eyes, threatening to tumble over the edge as his breath quickened, stuttering in his chest. “Y-you… you don’t really mean that, Lightning.” But the look in his eyes said it all. His steely gaze pierced Danny’s blood pumping web slinging mighty morphing thunkathunker. Danny’s jaw trembled, tears finally burning tracks into his cheeks as Lightning looked through him, he himself breathing heavily.

“I think I’ve said enough.” He hastily shifted his gaze away from the boy. Danny’s words shook as he quietly uttered, “Can’t you even look at me?” Daniel let out a choked sob, taking one last look at the vehicle whom he once admired. He felt a resonance with the tale of Icarus, having flown too close to his sun and now was paying the price, wings of wax melting and letting him tumble to his demise.

The last shred of hope that Danny clung onto sashayed away when Lightning did not respond. He couldn't take it anymore. Daniel stood up and crashed his fists on the dining table, but realising he was already standing, he sat in his chair a second time, and rising again, slammed his hands on the cold tabletop. This was the most he could do out of his confused spite. In his angered daze, he galloped out of the Denny’s and into the deluge outdoors.

Lightning could only remain in neutral while watching the boy leave, and as he did so the first embers of regret begun to claw up from the chasm in his heart. Only now did his words catch up to him, and he realized his mistakes. He let out a mighty roar similar to Shrek but not really because he is Dreamworks and Lightning is Pixar. He immediately revved his engine and sped out as well, calling for Daniel as he did, but to no avail.

The black-haired boy (that sometimes had white hair when he bust a phadd nut what a fuckin weirdo) was nowhere to be found. Lightning felt as if he may cry; what had he done? There are many things in this world that he may not understand, but trust me on this, child, the young four-wheeler knew well and good what he had done. After aimlessly driving around for at least like 11 seconds, he decided perhaps it would be best if he returned to the diner after the next rising of the sun, to find his lost love.

When the morrow arrived, and Lightning arose from his sleepless slumber he returned to the Deniel’s. He zoomed quite quickly to the counter where some girl was waiting, and he asked in a panicked tone, “Is Danny here?”

The girl blinked very slowly, almost a full minute long, before responding, “ No he quit.”

“Oh.” Lightning said. “K.”

 

He went outside and cried.

It was still raining.

He was still crying.

He lay down in a puddle. That's a pretty big puddle.

:-(

Suddenly, his ringtone, Britney Spears’ hit ‘ Toxic ’ sounded from his car pocket. He let it ring multiple times before picking up his phone. “Hi hello bonjour shalom how goes it how are you hey?” He spoke, attempting to hide his large hint of sadness.

“Zipp-o, my dude, did you forget? It’s time to blast.” That Manager From Chapter One’s voice rang out from the receiver. Alack, he had forgotten he was due to depart at this time!

“Alrighty tighty my sweet dude.” The hotrod sighed with resignation. He did not know when, or if, he would be able to see Danny again. At this time, Lightning would describe his state to be similar to that of a placenta; trembling, rejected, and alone.

Attempting to keep his mind off the scuffle the two ex-lovers had just engaged in, he posed a query to himself, “Gosh, I wonder how many calories are in a placenta?”

As if that thought could keep Danny off his mind. That boy was nothing like a placenta; for one, he was a boy, and not a placenta. McQueen left the town, thoughts heavy.k

Days passed by. Weeks. Danny constantly ruminated upon his lost love. Laying in bed all day he refused to leave his room in a depressive state, like a comatose patient except way more privileged. He frequently used music like industrial experimental tracks and The Avocado Song as his mental outlet. No wonder he felt comatose. A new favourite of his was the Norwegian translation of The Avocado Song; it was an extraordinarily exotic, poetic song that reminded him of Lightning.

 

“Lag tomaten, lag, lag tomaten.
Skrell tomaten, skrell, skrell tomaten.
"Fhrpp" ketchupen, "fhrpp", "fhrpp" ketchupen!
Lag gulroten, lag, lag gulroten.
Skrell gulroten, skrell, skrell gulroten.
"Th" kaninen, "th", "th" kaninen!
Lag avokadoen, lag, lag avokadoen.
Skrell, avokadoen, skrell avokadoen.
Guacamole, guac, guacamole!”

 

It was évanescent. He so wished to compare it to Lightning, but his heart still ached. How long had it been since he saw him last? Heard his voice? Felt the oh-so-familiar sleek texture of his leather and chrome? He wouldn’t let himself feel any unholy desires, though. Lightning had just used him to get his nut and he was foolish enough to let him. Danny sadly yeeted a tissue across the room, it commenced its pathetic fall. It inspired him to write depressing poems into his personal journal.

He pumped out 3 WHOLE poems, until the tissue finally finished fluttering down and landed perfectly on his television remote, pressing the ‘on’ button. It went straight to the car racing channel.  The vroom vroom sounds burst forth, erupting from the magic moving picture box. Danny still doesn’t know how that box works. He’s bamboozled by it every day!

Anyways he did a big gasp, mostly because the sudden loud noise shocked him but also because right there, on-screen, the moving picture himself, was Mr. McQueen. The bona fide authentic genuine real McCoy except not McCoy he was McQueen. No joke. It was then that he remembered that the Piston Cup wasn’t over yet, even though it had been like five weeks. Once more, tears leapt into his eyes and he reached for yet another tissue to later yeet across the room. His heart was thundering.

He ate some milk (99%) to calm his nerves, shakily lifting the heavy glass to his puckered lips. He actually drank so much milk that he turned into a bone.

Or rather, that’s what he wished had happened. A boy can dream. Or should I say, a BONE can dream haha ;~)

“God damit.” He’s avoided his problems for long enough. It was time to confront the car. How many times had he run away before? The old Daniel Fenton, the scared, feeble little boy was dead. He was Danny Phantom now. A terrible quandary plagued him, though. How was he supposed to get to the race, if he was here in Amity Park’s? Shuffling along his carpet, he thought about it for a very long time in his thinking chair. With a sharp inhalation, he exclaimed, “I’ll go ghost!”

He slammed down a shot of milk (5%), chewing quickly, before vivaciously going ghost, and immediately took off. He glid down the street, glid out of the town, and glid all the way to the Piston Cup race. He was getting a little tired of glid-ing “God damit” he whispered.

Phasing through the multiple doors in the racetrack arena, he ghosted through the roaring crowd, tingling as he travelled through the sweaty, excited bodies. Was it just him, or was the crowd so much larger than when he had personally attended? It was only then that he remembered the TV broadcast had actually been live, which made him also wonder why on earth he went when he didn’t even know that because if it actually wasn’t he would’ve ended up at an empty arena what a dumb idiot. “What the fucc?” He hadn’t thought this through, but there was was no going back now because if he had to go back he’d have to glid back and he didn’t really want to so

I guess he’s meeting up with his ex.

With this new found epiphany, he gulped, and nervously looked towards the racers, speeding down the track, trying to locate that flash of red he knew all too well. When he finally did, the world seemed to slow, just like it had the first time. This time though, the older male’s gaze was steely and solemn, unlike before when he’d been playful and excited and had his head in the game. Upon seeing him, Danny ectoplasmically vomited beastily. He shouldn’t have had that 99% milk. He made a mental note to never ever ever ever ever ever never do that again. He was a fool.

Halfway through excogitating about his milk, he heard the crowd take a unanimous and very deep gasp. He snapped his gaze back to the race, and he, too, gasped audibly. He gasped so hard that his lung just popped out. It’s okay though he put it back. Refocusing on the race, he spots Lightning who had attempted to drift, but lost control and was swerving off-course. Danny practically rammed his entire fist down his throat with how nervous he was. This was going to compromise not only his leading position in the Cup, but also his reputation as a prodigal rookie racer.

The racer managed to regain his footing but it was too late. His model was simply not made to go fast enough to mend his errors, and he paid the price. Seconds later, Mister The King Old Daddy Rabbit whirled across the finish line, his blue afterimage lingering behind. Danny groaned. what the HECK McQueen

The crowd split into two, many booing, many applauding. Down in the track, Lightning’s expression as he himself crossed the checkered y=mx+b of completion remained stoic but in his eyes there was pain and torment and misery and mental strain. Danny could really see the pain, torment and misery so well, his eyes are so good! 21/20 vision! Being a ghost sure does help.

The crowd quickly gobbled up both Lightning and Danny on their respective sides of the arena, just like how a turkey would (because that is the sound they make). The sound of the MC speaking was like he was underwater to Danny, but somehow managed to register in his mind. “Ol’ DAddy Rabbit’s the winner again! He’ll have an absolute blast at the afterparty- ladies, contain yourselves. Also men, or whatever.”

Of course! The afterparty!


 

Oh no! The afterparty! Danny shouldn’t have left the house. He had, once again, taken advantage of his ghostly goobers and phased into the party so he wouldn’t get carded, but he was now filled with regret. The only parties he knew were the bingo parties hosted by Grammy Fenton.

So there he was, halfway phased into the wall; he was taking the term wallflower quite seriously. This party had so many strobing, multicoloured lights, and the bass from the music vibrated through his ectoplasm. Bodies were pressed against bodies, sweat evaporating porously into the air. Our young ghost looked left and right, trying to find solace that wasn’t just a wall, when he noticed the bar. A deep sense of relief shot through him, and he ghosted over there quickly, seating himself in a stool.

“Hey ghost kiddo, what can I do ya for?” The nice man standing behind the counter said.

“W-What do you recommend?” Danny asked inquisitively.

After pondering for a moment, the man said, “If you’re really lookin’ to have a wild time, I’d say some jagermeister or the tequilameister, or the burgermeister meisterburger.”

“Ok cool I don’t know what any of that fukin is so I’ll take a guava juice, on the rocks.” He requested cooly, smoothing his snow-white hair back. Unfortunately, he has a terrible mannerism where when he smooths his hair his entire body must follow in a similar rolling motion, so he waves like a wobble board. Just at this moment, he noticed the very car he was there for sulking in the corner, and in a panic, he snatched the nearest glass (which happened to be a mug) and yelled his thanks before dashing, takin’ a hearty swig as he did.

He thought, “wow, that is some very terrible guava juice,” but he was thirsty so he downed the mug, smacking his still very very chapped lips. They crumbled a little more with every smack. Swerving through the crowd, he tried his best to “accidentally run into Lightning” while at the same time “making sure he never runs into Lightning ever”. Pirouetting madly, he tried his best to accomplish both tasks at once, unfortunately he was causing a ruckus, only succeeding in bringing more attention to himself.

From the other side of the room, a specific red vehicle’s interest was piqued. Solemnly zooming over, he caught a glimpse of snow-white hair and glowing green eyes. COULD IT BEE?<

That guava juice was taking some unexpected effects on Daniel. In his eyes, instead of Lightning driving over, he was shredding it. He had thought Lightning was impressive on the racetrack, but wasn’t ready to see him on the dancefloor. Danny purred, “You’re such a ~multitalented individualal@~” He began to ferociously gyrate just in the crowd, hips phasing through one person after another. His session was interrupted by, who could it be?

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆WHO’S THAT POKEMON????☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

it was lightning.

Lightning was that pokemon! He slammed a tire on the wall behind Danny, pinning him against it, heaving. “Dannicus.” He said under his breath. “What are you doing here? Also why do you have an empty mug?” He sniffed his mouth. “You’re, oh god don’t me say it, drunk! You’re a sinner, Danny!”

“That juice was sooo spicy! You better take the wheel, speedy boy!”

Lightning gazed at him sternly. That was no juice. “Danil, you’re inebriated. I can’t take advantage of you like this, especially not here, after what we’ve just been through.” He held Danny’s shoulders more firmly.

“I want you to tear up my ass like you tear up that racetrack!!” He roared, getting really into Lightning’s bubble of personal space.

Lightning decided to not hold him more firmly and promptly pushed him backwards, shaking his car head lightly. “I think you should go outside and get some air, Jesus Mary and Broseph.” Of course, Danny complied, giggling a “Whatever you say, daddicus!”

Extending a tire towards the incapacitated specter boy, he grabbed him by a single strand of hair, yanking him out of the building. He made sure to not make any form of eye contact with anycar.

Once out of the building, it was apparent that it was raining again, just like it had back home.  

“It’s so moist!!” Danny teehee’d energetically, jigging up to the vehicle, getting rather comfortable. Lightning blushed a deep shade of red even though he was already red, fighting his passion and temptations to hold his ground now that they were alone. Old desires dusted themselves off and sprung to the surface, slowly.

“What am I even doing…” Lightning replayed their argument through his mind, like a Youtube video where you clicked “Loop”. “Why are you here, Dankey? Why’d you come?” He whispered, distraught but also a little aroused.

Even through his drunken state of mind, Danny could still feel his inner pain resonate. “Why? ...Love.” He said warmly, a light smile creeping across his lips. But then, he got sad again. “What about you, Lightning? I thought we had something special. Why would you lie to me like that?” Danny was on the verge of tears, something that happens often.

Lightning grasped Danny tighter, “Baby, it’s not what you think.” He bit his lip, glancing away briefly before returning to Danny, “I’m so new to this relationship thing, especially with a peenie-haver. I’ve been in this industry since I was a kid and never got to experience it, so when you suggested we come out I- I got scared and lashed out. Then I was too much of a coward to apologize...and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I couldn’t say this earlier.” He gasped for breath; even he thought he may burst into tears, despite his tough exterior. Danny brought a hand up to his mouth, tears actually spilling over and mingling with his facial raindrops, overcome with emotions.

“Oh, Lightning.” He wailed. There was a beat of silence, and exactly when Lightning blinked he swooped on in, mashing their lips together so sweetly like before. Overcome by shock at first, Lightning froze, but he succumbed to his masculine charm without any delay or hesitation. Danny sucked on his lips as one would suck on a kumquat, juicing the goose. He thought he might vomit again, not from queasiness, but excitement rather. He was okay. He managed to swallow it down. It felt like years, but eventually they had to draw apart for breath, only to dive in once more afterwards.

“I forgive you, Speedy Boii.” Danny breathed, clutching Lightning’s autobody.

“I never fell out of love with you, Danky…” The car started, grinning widely. “So, if you’ll accept it...would you be the Lightning McKing to my Lightning McQueen?”

“Oh my tubba wubba ookums snookums oochie coochie pickle pie juicy pooper milky dilf, I was already yours ;)"