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The report Undyne received from Asgore got her worried, but after it was backed up by a call from Papyrus, Undyne knew she had a crisis on her hands. She put her armor on, took her sturdiest spears, and left on her table the cache of letters to be opened in case of her untimely demise.

The perpetrator had shown up in multiple places. He could strike anywhere. She had a lot of ground to cover. First destination: Snowdin.


It was easy to feel like a predator, moving through the tall grass, blending into the environment, not seen by anyone. Fangs ready, eyes fixed on the target, but if anyone looks, hold still and you’re just a flower.

The target was crossing the frosty marsh between Snowdin and Waterfall. They stood out, with their striped yellow shirt, but even if they hadn’t, they were not making any effort to be surreptitious. They bounded through the landscape, without regard for the sound they made, sometimes almost tripping.

Very close now. Close enough to hear the panting, to feel the footsteps shaking the earth, to look from their point of view and see the path they would take. Close enough to burrow ahead, wait for them.

He prepared his best face, a fearsome cry, and when they were very near, he sprang from the bushes and made himself tall.

“Boo!”


The cold reached in through Undyne’s armor and chilled her to the bone. When Papyrus faced away from her she permitted herself a shiver.

“…And this is where I last saw him, before he disappeared. He didn’t even stay for his prize!”

“Was it-”

“It was spaghetti.”

“Right. And he was hostile?”

“Very!” Papyrus gloated. “I think I have an archnemesis now.”

Undyne looked at the maze of fences set out in the clearing. Burrowing tracks traced a route through it, carefully within the lines.

“He gave me some great advice!”

“What did he - the suspect look like?”

“That’s an excellent question! When he reached all the way up he was quite tall indeed, but most of the time, he came about halfway to my knees. He looked like a golden flower, like the King grows? But he had a face! Sometimes it went all stretchy and goopy, like this-” Papyrus tried to mimic it, but was thwarted by the stiffness of his skull.


The monster kid tried to steer away and jump at the same time, and fell on their back. They sat up and looked at him.

Yooo!

This was not the expected reaction.

“Is that - how are you doing that, with your face? Man, that’s cool.”

He went for a more deformed grin, a more dripping visage.

“Dude!”

He let his regular face flow into position. “Aren’t you scared?”

“It super scary! That’s why it’s so cool! Like, I tried to be scary with a bed sheet, but this is way better! What else can you do?”

His forehead sprouted a third eye.

Dude!


A lesser opponent might have been stumped, but tracking a quarrelsome plant posed no challenge to Undyne, captain of the Royal Guard, trained in guerrilla gardening by the king himself.

She followed a straightforward trail to the limits of Snowdin, and went for more stealth from there on. She pressed herself to the ground, and adopted a style of creeping that minimized the clanking of her armor. With her face so close to the ground, following the track was easier.

She heard a scream. She froze. Quietly, very quietly, she let her magic flow through her palms and manifest.

She crept closer. She lifted her head, to take a good look at the situation.

She saw two children making weird faces at each other.

Perplexed, she stared for a while. Sometimes she heard a “Yo!” or a “Oh yeah? Look at this!”. Nothing objectionable was happening. She let her spear fade away.


“Hey, I bet you could even scare Undyne!”

“No way, she’s super tough.”