Alex is drowning her pain in liquor when her sister bursts through the door.
She doesn’t even flinch, hell , she’s not even upset that Kara didn’t knock. In other circumstances, Alex would have cursed and at least attempted to fight Kara to the death so she could have at least a bit of privacy. Even when they were younger, in their shared bedroom back in sunny Midvale, the Danvers sisters struggled to have their own space.
That was why Alex kept visiting the National City Observatory on the nights that she missed Jeremiah the most. So that she could have her own space , literally and metaphorically.
Because as wonderful as it was to have such a great sister as Kara, it could get overwhelming, and there were nights in which young Alex wished she’d never crashed on Earth. Still, there were times in which Kara made pretty much everything in her life so much better, that Alex couldn’t blame her sister for wanting to comfort her when she was upset.
But tonight, Alex is just not feeling it. She can’t even look at Kara. She’s too tired, too drained to fight back. She’s too upset, too confused. Her dad’s first day back at the DEO had to be special, and damn it had been, but in the complete opposite way of special.
Tonight, Alex is so angry, she doesn’t even know if she really wants to be alone right now.
They both sigh at the sight of each other.
Kara sighs out of relief, to see that her sister is okay. She knows that Alex is upset, and that Alex’s heart is breaking and that she’s drinking again (which makes Kara’s stomach churn and drop at the mere thought of it) but she’s glad to see her sister in one piece, because now she’s there to glue the pieces together the moment Alex breaks.
And Alex sighs, in the most unusual meaning, accepting defeat.
“Turns out Mon-El was right. You were right. About.. About Jeremiah.” the words come out harsh, her voice hoarse, burning with anger, pain and alcohol, burning with poison, but mostly with pain and anger.
“Alex.. You.. Don’t beat yourself up.” Kara says, trying to find the right words to say. She is sad that they had fought, both their prides had been too high for them not to, and if there was something that could make Kara break, that could make Supergirl break, was being angry at her beloved sister.
“I have to, Kara. Because I’m not perfect. Because when I was right in front of him, my gun pointing straight at him, he told me he had done all of this for me. Not you, Kara, but me.” she spat, tears threatening to fall, her grip tightening around her glass, still shining with liquid gold. “Because when I had him, I almost considered shooting him. My own father, now a stranger, to his own daughter. I could’ve ended this, but I let him go.”
Alex’s cheeks are now wet with the tears she had fought so hard not to cry in front of her sister. The tears that she had considered dry back at the forest, at the DEO, when she told everyone her father (and Cadmus) had escaped. The tears that she hates crying, because she is the tough one in the family, and she hates people seeing her like this.
Tears, Tears, Tears.
And now Kara rushes to her aid, like she always does, and her strong arms quickly and swiftly but gently and carefully wrap themselves around her sister’s usually solid body that has now melted into nothing but a puddle of tears, and pain, and sorrow.
And now Alex is weeping, Alex is sobbing, Alex is crying.
Alex is breaking into a million pieces, just like when Maggie had told her they were ‘just friends’, and she allows herself to do so, because she knows her sister, not Kara, not Supergirl, but her sister is there to glue her back together.
Slowly, very slowly, while hugging her sister, Kara breaks Alex’s white knuckles from the grip they had on to the glass.
Kara knows how hard this is for Alex. She knows, because she’s lost family too, more times than Alex has. She knows, because she’s lost her planet, her home, she’s lost her parents, and she’s lost Astra too.
She can’t really hold Alex responsible for letting Jeremiah go, no matter how much it hurt her to know he’s now turned to Cadmus, because if it had been her in her sister’s shoes, she probably would’ve not been able to kill him too. Because Kara can’t afford losing anyone ever again.
And she doesn’t even need to tell her, because somehow, Alex knows too.
“I just try so hard, Kara.. I wanted today to be special, to.. to be the day in which things finally started to settle back into normalcy.. We thought he was dead, gone , but he wasn’t. And I can only begin to imagine what they did to him back at Cadmus.. His arm.. That’s probably the beginning of all the awful things they did to make him stronger, more dangerous.. Of all the things he let them do to him, for me.”
“And I can’t help but feel guilty about it.” Alex continues as she slowly brings her breathing back to normal. “I was his star, his.. child prodigy. He did all this to protect me. Us . And when he finally was face to face with me… he asked me to shoot him. And.. I almost did, Kara. That’s the worst thing out of all that’s happened today. He’s been gone for so long, and I got so angry after I found out he’d betrayed us, that part of me wanted him not to be my dad.”
Alex’s cheeks are wet again, and Kara quickly dries her sister’s tears with the back of her favourite sweater.
“Shh.. Alex.. It’s fine. You’re fine. We will all be fine.”
Alex slowly shifts in Kara’s embrace, looking up at her with raccoon-like eyes. It was something that usually happened, when she allowed herself to cry, to break down, her eyes would get all red and puffy. So red and puffy, that little circles would form around them, just like a raccoon’s.
“I’m sorry, Kara. For not listening to you. For letting my pride blind me.. Geez, I even called you out and said you had chosen a side… I’m really sorry.”
“I’m sorry too, Alex. I was angry at you for being angry at me, and Winn and Mon El.. And I guess I was also angry at them too, for trying to make me change my mind about Jeremiah, and I took it out on you. You didn’t deserve it, because we were both on the same side. We were two sisters who had just gotten their father back after fifteen years. Two sisters who needed each other.”
“I still need you Kara.” Alex says.
“I need you too Alex. And I never want us to fight again. I’m sorry.”
Alex smiles shyly. She knows Kara can’t completely heal the scars that have been opened back again that day, but at least she can patch them up.
“I’m sorry too, sis. I promise I’ll try and count to ten or whatever before trying to pick a fight with you again.”
Even though they both know how hotheaded Alex is, and how Kara knows it might actually be difficult for her sister to keep up with her promise, they laugh. Somehow, Alex now knows that she’s better.
“You were right, Kara. We will be fine. Because we have you.”
Kara blushes, and fails at suppressing a mix between a giggle and a snort. She does that when she’s flattered.
“We also have you, Alex. El merayah, remember?”
“Yes, Kara. Stronger together.”