"The gods are not kind. But if you pray, if you plead, and if your heart is honest, they may grant you one wish. If not, then pray harder. For that is the only way you will escape their wrath."
Childe wasn't looking at Zhongli. He was staring into the glowing eyes of Rex Lapis, the one who lifted Liyue's mountains and carved its hills, the one who slaid thousands of gods and humans in his conquests of the Archon Wars, the one who was unforgiving, merciless, and most of all, spoke with enough rage to make the earth tremble beneath them.
"Childe of the Fatui," Rex Lapis rumbled, and Childe couldn't move, couldn't breathe as the Archon stared at him with his divine anger. He was weak, but there was something in his voice that reverberated throughout the room, layered with thundering vibrations and made Childe feel so small. "You will pay your dues."
Bookmarked by sapine
31 May 2021
"Welcome to a new user experience! You have triggered this interface with the keywords, ‘Stupid game! Stupid devs! I want my f*****g money back!’ You are now bound to the character Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, codename: Childe! We hope you have an enjoyable user experience and we welcome you once again to Genshin Impact 2.0!”
Those are some of the first words Ajax, starving college student extraordinaire, has the misfortune of hearing upon waking up in a brave new world from what he's fairly sure is a very, very fatal accident involving water and a shit ton of electricity.
Okay, so he's not dead. That's good. But what's this about him being stuck playing the character Tartaglia? Tartaglia, as in the shitty, one-dimensional, cartoonish villain who met his untimely, gruesome death in the first act of the original game?
Fuck that noise. Like hell Ajax is going to share that fate.
And so begins one man's journey to unfuck himself.
“You-“ Zhongli’s voice is hoarse, face contorted in utter bewilderment. Still, he does not move, keeping Childe’s legs straight in the air. “You asked to be my mate. You wanted me to breed you. Ajax, you said that to me.”
Oh, Celestia, they’re still connected. It’s all going to his head. Childe thinks he’s delirious. This can’t be real. “That was-“ His voice breaks in an awful squeak. “-that was dirty talk!”
He never thought-
Oh, fuck. Zhongli moves inside of him, and he can feel the cum sloshing through his guts.
All this time.
He’s an idiot. The signs, in retrospect, were so obvious.
Zhongli has been trying to impregnate him.
Or, Childe learns the hard way to be careful what he wishes of an (ex) god. It might just get taken literally.
Childe had always assumed that he would die young. He had accepted that a long time ago, ever since he accepted the mantle of a Fatui Harbinger. However, he always thought that he would die in a glorious fight, his body broken but spirit relishing the strong opponent that had bested him. He was okay with that type of death.
Unfortunately, it seemed like Fate had decided to add one last insult to injury, because, here Childe was, dying because he had fallen in love with the ex-Geo Archon. The same Archon who seemed to have discarded him like an old toy ever since the Osial Incident.
In which divine beings are cruel and a cursed Childe starts preparing for his inevitable death because no Archon could ever love a mortal.
“You’re to be sent on a special mission, Tartaglia.”
The young man’s eyes gleamed in interest. “How special?” He asked as he wiped the blood off his daggers.
His superior grinned. “Special enough to put your name in Snezhnaya’s history books.”
In which the Archon War ravaged the land of Liyue and to ensure the people’s survival, the God of Geo established the Harvester Contract: One bride per village, every year, in exchange for protection and a good harvest.
Or: Childe is sent on an undercover mission to kill the Geo Archon, but things don’t go as planned.
Bookmarked by sapine
24 May 2021