Newt (parasiticlifeform)



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Aziraphale is a mobile hairdresser. Crowley is the rudest customer he's ever had. They will simply never, ever, ever see eye to eye, and that's that on that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,886
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    729
    Kudos:
    532
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    116
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    29 Jun 2021

  2. Public Bookmark 48

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    When Crawly sought Aziraphale with some questions about... handling humanity, Aziraphale felt obliged to help.
    It probably wasn’t the wisest course of action, but Crawly had never done him any harm or vice versa. Anyway, it wasn’t as if he would tell him how to seduce someone – not that he really could. It sounded like a very human game of emotional politics, one he had never had much interest in.
    The basic instruction manual would be enough. Only fair to keep them on an even footing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,129
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    270
    Kudos:
    362
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    4921

    05 Jun 2021

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “How dare you!” Aziraphale shouts.

    “It’s not personal!” the demon shouts back, peeking around the edge of the bookshelf. Aziraphale flings a blessing at him, but he jerks back before it can land. “I was assigned to you.”

    “I’ll smite you back to Hell, you—you—snake!”

    “Funny you should say that,” the demon mutters, before lifting his voice again. “Or how about we carry on what we’re doing and not attract the attention from Downstairs, yeah? Or Upstairs, for that matter.”
     

    Or: Aziraphale has been assigned to secure The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. He really shouldn’t have been surprised to learn that Hell had an agent of their own assigned to him.

    Luckily for him, Crowley is a dreadful spy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,840
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    183
    Kudos:
    1996
    Bookmarks:
    601
    Hits:
    15370

    30 May 2021

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "You seem very familiar to me. I can’t say why that is." As Aziraphale spoke, Crowley turned away from the fire, and Aziraphale was momentarily concerned that the spell had been broken, that he had crossed some invisible line. But Crowley smiled and brought his beer to his lips.

    "Maybe we met in a past life. Does your lot believe in that?"

    "Past lives?"

    "Yeah."

    Aziraphale smiled into his wine. He was sure Crowley was poking fun, ever so slightly, but he liked it. "Not strictly speaking. No."

    Crowley shrugged, taking another long sip of his beer. “A mystery then."

    After receiving direct instruction from God, village reverend Aziraphale leaves his countryside congregation to serve the underserved and in-need at an urban church in London, a transition made all the more complicated by the mysterious and handsome Crowley, who always seems to appear when Aziraphale least expects him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,968
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    813
    Kudos:
    1992
    Bookmarks:
    499
    Hits:
    21636

    30 May 2021

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    A late-night bus to London, a few human comforts, and a long overdue confession... nothing will ever be the same for an angel and his demon.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,518
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    271
    Kudos:
    2023
    Bookmarks:
    482
    Hits:
    13800

    30 May 2021

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