Shiisa

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    “Nice,” Drunk Man says, into the crook of his neck, and does nothing else. Wei Ying slowly relaxes, allows himself to pat Drunk Man between the shoulder blades, and sighs.

    “Okay,” he says. “Glad you think so.”

    Drunk Man does not respond. Wei Ying wonders if he went back to sleep, and then takes a further moment to wonder why this always happens to him, why he’s always the one helping a heartbroken twink sober up after a terrible night out or sitting on the curb with a sobbing teenager with a fake ID while they wait for her parents to come pick her up. If only he was as shitty a person as White Mike, he could be home asleep right now and this beautiful man would be passed out in a gutter and probably mugged. Wei Ying looks down at the drunk man on his shoulder, thinks about leaving him to fend for himself, and sighs. Nope. Not on his watch.

    Or: A meet-cute at two in the morning.

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    16 Jul 2021

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    Wei Ying lets out a long, ugly groan. “I am fine, Lan Zhan. Everybody is overreacting, it’s so embarrassing for all of you.”

    “You had undiagnosed pneumonia, which you walked around with for weeks until you passed out during dress,” Lan Wangji corrects him. “It got a big laugh, until everyone thought you were dead.”

    He keeps his voice even and does not tell Wei Ying that it had been Lan Wangji who caught him, who called the ambulance, and who rode with him to the hospital, where he was yelled at by nurses who wanted to know why he hadn’t noticed that Wei Ying couldn’t stop shivering or string proper sentences together.

    “Rumors of my demise have been vastly overstated,” Wei Ying says. “Anyway, I’m already feeling much better. Basically fine. Really almost completely back to normal, so stop babying me and tell me why the fuck you let your stupid brother hire the worst man in the world to host our show.”

    -

    OR: the one where they all work at SNL, Yanli's ex-boyfriend is hosting, and that's just the beginning of everybody's problems.

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    13 Jul 2021

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    So there was this jar, and it had so much peanut butter still in it, and when his fox nose scented it and didn’t catch any poison or spoilage, what was he supposed to do? Not avail himself of this gift? No. He shoved his delicate little snout right in there and got to licking, but, you know… Elegantly. Definitely not snarfing and making horrible little fox sounds and rolling around on the ground while he went ham on the jar. Sure, he had to work a little bit to get at the last of it, but anything good is worth working for, right? So finally, triumphant, no longer starving, and maybe a little thirsty now from eating half a cup of peanut butter in about two minutes, he’d tried to remove his head from the jar.

    Operative word tried.

    Or: Wei Ying gets stuck. Lan Zhan helps.

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    22 Jun 2021

  4. Public Bookmark 89

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    Griddlehark reunion. Angst. Dramatiques. Kissing.

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    27 May 2021

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    Good news: the repair guy is here! Bad news: hes like 5’5” and Chinese!!!
    He has DIMPLES dage
    He keeps calling me sir and mr lan!
    AND HE CAN FIX THE AIR
     
    Hahahahaha you fucking sucker
    3zun repairman AU with very married nielan, their repairman Meng Yao, and not nearly enough intentional breaking of appliances for the trope.

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    12 Apr 2021