1 - 20 of 41 Works in Valdo Marx Being an Asshole

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier works at an ad agency with Triss, Lambert, Eskel, Yennefer, and, unfortunately, Valdo Marx. But things change when they land a major account, and the White Wolf arrives...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,748
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    323
    Kudos:
    216
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    2717
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Spin-off of our story- Jaskier and the snuggly wuggly killing machines!!!!
    Valdo is throwing Jaskier a "Back to stage" Party. Geralt and Eskel wish to attend.
    Jaskier didn't expect them to be so... easy about it. He really didn't expect them to find friends so quickly.
    Geralt gets fed by a drunk guitarist and Eskel gets dougheyed for a pretty lady next to him.
    Very soft, multiple POVs (sperated), witchers being happy

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,195
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    320
  3. Tags
    Summary

    I read the Witcher books, and Geralt is a sensitive boi about the whole mutant thing. Multiple times he mutters to himself about how THoSe PeoPLE don't think he has FeElings.

    So I just really think he'd be charmed as hell by Netflix Jaskier. It would be big 'I've had him for a day and a half and if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone in this tavern and then myself' energy.

    So I imagined what would happen if Book Geralt met Netflix Jaskier that day at that tavern in Posada. (Spoiler he loves him.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,500
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    1411
    Kudos:
    2549
    Bookmarks:
    497
    Hits:
    33480
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier has always known he loves in a way that is too much. He gives too much of himself, and wants too much in return. Post mountain break-up, Jaskier starts to doubt his value, attempts to drink Novigrad dry and makes the biggest mistake of his life: getting back with his abusive shit of an ex, Valdo Marx.

    Angst, whump, eventual comfort.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,531
    Chapters:
    27/27
    Comments:
    536
    Kudos:
    1095
    Bookmarks:
    183
    Hits:
    22955
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “Eskel. My brother. He’s a senior researcher at the Institute.”

    Jaskier felt his jaw drop open. “What. How are you only mentioning this now?”

    Geralt shrugged one shoulder as he continued to eat. “I didn’t think it was relevant before.”

    “Fair enough.” He sighed, looking down wistfully at his pasta. “I’d give anything to be allowed in there.”

    “Hmmm. Anything?”

    He looked up to see Geralt smiling wickedly back at him and his heart felt like it skipped a beat. He licked his lips and straightened in his seat, trying to look earnest. “Oh yes, anything.”

    “I’ll see what I can do.” Geralt’s eyes had a glean to them that held a promise. It sent a shiver down Jaskier’s spine.
    -----------------------------
    Or: Jaskier has been trying to get the research together for his book on the historical evolution of the ballad, but SOMEONE has been thwarting his attempts to get into the archives of the prestigious Morhen Institute Historical Collections. Geralt tells him he can help with that... for a price.

    (Careful, y'all, the plot is mostly just an excuse :)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,348
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    140
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1283
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The Asset is Hydra’s greatest weapon, but due to an unfortunate mishap with a Tesseract weapon, he ends up in a different universe, one with elves, dragons, and magic beyond his wildest imaginings. Luckily, two people, who are kind and understanding like he’s never seen before let him tag along with them. Unfortunately, they seem to believe that he’s under an evil spell of some kind. Of course, what can you expect from people so focused on their own pining that they can’t tell that the other is in love with them?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    71,534
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    284
    Kudos:
    326
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    7013
  7. Tags
    Summary

    In an alternate universe where Geralt never met Jaskier in Posada, someone’s writing rude songs about witchers. Eskel and Lambert are sure it’s Geralt’s fault.

    (Turns out that they’re right.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,737
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    463
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    1600
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Contracts rarely meet with Vesemir in his office. Which is why when Geralt is summoned, he's surprised to see a young man sitting across from the Old Wolf. He's young and gleaming in silks and gold, belonging to the higher ranks of the continent's elite. But he's here with Vesemir, with one simple request: "Kill my husband."

    --

    Modern!AU w/ Assassin!Geralt and Socialite!Jaskier [PLEASE READ TAGS]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,366
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    385
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    3122
  9. Tags
    Summary

    In which Jaskier's a fae who's trying to steal Geralt's name (and fall in love with him without having wanted to)

    - - - -
    “Anyway, the point is not here, thank you very much. The point is: why, oh why, dear Witcher, am I overlooked when your occasional outbursts of kindness occur?”
    Geralt took a sip of his ale.
    “You are the wordsmith.” He said flatly. “Craft your own answer.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,571
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    441
  10. Tags
    Summary

      "Daddy, this is Mr. Pancakes!"
      Ciri was saying more, but Geralt didn't hear a word of it. The blood surging through his ears, his head drowned his little girl's delicate voice—and it was a good thing all that blood was staying in his head instead of rushing down to his cock.
      Mr. Pancakes, who stood next to Ciri, who stood in front of him in that demure tweed jacket over a teal sweater and dark tie, was the beautiful, radiant man he'd fucked multiple times last night. Against the wall. In the man's bed. In the shower afterwards, moaning his name.

    ________________________

    Anxious about Ciri's first day of kindergarten tomorrow, single dad Geralt goes to a gay bar to find someone to fuck and release tension--and meets Jaskier, a very flexible, very willing partner. They have a night of rough, torrid sex, and it's exactly what Geralt needs. The next afternoon at the school, Geralt meets Ciri's teacher: the fire-hot one night stand he thought he would never meet again.

    (Originally multiple Twitter fics at @giddytf2!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,478
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    628
    Bookmarks:
    110
    Hits:
    8324
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The house next door to Jaskier’s hadn’t sold in almost two years, but now a gorgeous man and his adorable daughter have just moved in. Jaskier’s been alone a long time after a terrible relationship that nearly ruined him, but the handsome new neighbor is making things better. As Geralt and Jaskier get to know one another, sparks fly, but love is never without complications.

    A fluffy, slow burn modern AU where Geralt and Ciri move in next door to Jaskier and these two adorable idiot men slowly fall in love.

    And Jaskier has a dog and Geralt works on motorcycles and everything is pretty tooth-rottingly sweet and it all ends happily for everyone. There's also a threesome between Eskel, Lambert, and Jaskier's best friend, an OC (who commenters seem to genuinely love!). Those chapters are optional though they be spicy spicy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    75,123
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    349
    Kudos:
    602
    Bookmarks:
    131
    Hits:
    11634
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier is five when he meets Valdo Marx, and he's instantly enamoured with the man. It only gets worse from there.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,701
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    99
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    3413
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt is finally dating his best friend Jaskier after years of friendship. He's on good terms with Yennefer. He's even in therapy. And it is his therapist who suggests Geralt consider age regressing or 'being little' to help heal from his traumatic childhood, and then Triss suggests Jaskier as a caregiver. Can they work together to be the healing opportunity the other person needs?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,149
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    122
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1833
  14. Tags
    Summary

    After a long winter apart, Jaskier is very happy to see his chosen alpha when Geralt reunites with him in Oxenfurt. But Jaskier has had some unexpected problems during his semester as a professor, and his problems have a name: Valdo Marx.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,193
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    717
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    4417
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Essi and Priscilla take care of Jaskier after a break-up. Gloria Gaynor is a must.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    783
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    204
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “I know that look in your eyes, Jaskier,” said Valdo Marx, and a feeling of dread settled in Jaskier’s stomach. “I’ve seen it on the faces of my adoring fans as they look at me, spend time with me, watch me perform. I’ve seen it on the faces of husbands and wives looking at each other. I’ve seen it on the faces of people as they gaze upon their paramour.”

    “Don’t go there, Valdo,” Jaskier warned.

    “Oh no, I’m definitely going there,” Valdo laughed. “You’re in love, aren’t you Jaskier?”

     

    OR
    When a contract takes Geralt and Jaskier to Cidaris, it's only a matter of time before Jaskier runs into Valdo Marx, and Valdo decides to reveal to an entire godsdamn inn something Jaskier was desperately trying to keep secret. But maybe, just maybe, Valdo Marx's revelation will work out for all involved.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,803
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    281
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1653
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier performs, and Valdo Marx sees a perfect time to speak to Geralt.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    907
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    319
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1700
  18. Tags
    Summary

    An indie folk singer-songwriter fallen from grace decides to write an autobiographical novel, documenting what happened to his 26-year-old self and his band during their disastrous camping trip deep in the vast, dark woods of the Morhen wilderness reserve.
    Think Blair Witch project, he pitches, but with Witchers! And since he’s got a flair for the dramatic, he insists on posing for the (raunchy) cover and makes it a horror comedy. The reader might find scenes and lines corresponding to the movie Tucker & Dale vs. Evil. This, he assures with fervor, “Is pure coincidence, darling. Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life, as posited by my professional equal Oscar Wilde.”

     

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,913
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1413
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Valdo marx will try anything to win the music festival competion, even poison.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,111
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    201
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1483
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier is a student at Oxenfurt, struggling to break onto the music scene, in an abusive relationship with Valdo Marx. When he goes out to drown his sorrows one night, he stumbles across a dead man in an alleyway--and the creature who killed him. Luckily, a very handsome witcher comes along to save the wayward bard.

    Written for the Witcher Quick Fic Challenge.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,118
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    340
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2077

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