1 - 20 of 80 Works in The Mage (Simon Snow) is an Asshole

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    spoilers-- it's simon.

    but like yo what about all the other "chosen ones"?

    brief blurb ig? idk what to call it beyond just "chaos likes the whole concept of chosen one and guessing which tropes you're in"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    507
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    0
  2. Tags
    Summary

    It’s eighth year for our favorite students of Watford, which means it’s time to present their original spells.

    Penny’s spell, A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes, transfers the subject (simon) and their soulmate of sorts into a makeshift fantasy realm where they have to live as the protagonists in classic fairy tales until they accept their feelings towards each other.

    Although... nobody could have guessed that Baz of all people was Simon’s... soulmate??

    This should be fun. Or terrifying. We’ll see.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,363
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    120
    Kudos:
    138
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2007
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Watford is getting a hockey team!! The Mage recently found out ice hockey spells are powerful battle spells and being a player makes those spells much stronger. Se he has implemented a male and female ice hockey team into the Watford curriculum.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,656
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    139
  4. Tags
    Summary

    I met him on a dark and stormy night. There was no other man like him. And no other night like it.

     

    Or: One crazy night turns into a series of crazy nights that involve plotting an assassination, running from the law, too many moral dilemmas to be healthy, dancing, kissing, and a whole lot of winging it. (If Agatha were here, all of this would be resolved in one chapter. Alas. Everyone is a dumpster fire.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    71,538
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Comments:
    136
    Kudos:
    116
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    2575
  5. Tags
    Summary

    I feel like I’m losing everything. Everything I tried so hard to keep. I’m losing Baz.

    I don’t want that. I’ve never wanted that. I need him, I want him.

    “Baz, please!”

    I say it with magic. No. I scream it with magic. It’s raw as it pulls from my throat. It’s helpless as it falls. I don’t have my sword, and my wand is snapped.

    It goes nowhere.

    I go up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,069
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    123
  6. Tags
    Summary

    A mage fleeing from his homeland, weasels his way into knighthood through sheer luck.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,817
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Kudos:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    5
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Simon gets sick of blowing up, Ebb suggests wrestling.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    339
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    68
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Back in 1725 the seas were full of pirates. Amongst the pirates was a ship called The Magia mollique fluentem (The Flowing Magic) with a mismatched crew of young and elder mages of all different backgrounds searching for all the world’s spells. Though when one young fiery mage tests out a newfound spell on his bunk mate, he might find out how dangerous a secret can be.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,221
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    164
  9. Tags
    Summary

    It’s nearly 3am when I hear the door to our room crash open.

    I startle awake and immediately grab my wand from my bedside to spell the lights on. I barely have time to adjust my eyes to what's before me before I can hear the faint beating of a heart. Too faint. And then the smell of brown sugar and smoke hits me.

    Snow is on the floor in a puddle of blood, his uniform torn.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,140
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    151
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    830
  10. Tags
    Summary

    The truth is that that night, three days ago, I was utterly and completely terrified. Because I know Snow: he is a gigantic pain in the ass, he is obnoxious, egocentric and, frankly, rather ignorant, but he is also extremely brave. The burning courage in Snow’s heart is second to no one: I’ve seen him rushing towards dangerous situations since he was eleven. He never backs down, he never gives up.

    So, what happened to him? What was horrific enough to break the Chosen One?

     

    Writer's note:
    This story is my own take on the Carry On series. It is a retelling of the story, only keeping the same settings and the four main characters in the tags. For the rest, the story is a total rewrite of how the seventh and eighth years went, so there are major changes diverging from the original story. Enjoy the ride!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,845
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    958
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Simon gets accepted in the Watford football team, in which Baz is the captain. There, Simon discovers that Baz can be decent and is determined to force his room-mate to be decent to him as well. In the process, he learns about himself and discovers the true form of his feelings for Baz.
    The Mage makes a later appearance to be a shithead, and Penelope goes around being a brilliant friend.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,514
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    799
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “It's never too late to come back to my side.
    The stars in your eyes shined brighter in Tupelo.”
    - dorothea, taylor swift

    Simon and Baz grew up at Watford together, but when they were old enough to attend, the Mage kept Simon away from him. Simon's a bit of a celebrity at Watford, and Baz wonders if Simon still thinks about their childhood together.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,518
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    246
  13. Tags
    Summary

    My dramatization of when Simon accidentally calls the Mage Dad. (must've happened at least once...)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    175
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    79
  14. Tags
    Summary

    In which Simon Snow asks Baz Pitch to fake date him in fifth year in order to make Agatha Wellbelove jealous enough to ask him out. And it goes about as well as you'd think.

     

    Or: Simon Snow and the Consequences of His Actions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,739
    Chapters:
    9/13
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    132
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    2527
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “I wouldn’t have to creep if you’d just come out with what you’re doing,” Simon countered. He opened his mouth to continue, but Baz beat him to it. He stood with his arms crossed, looking away from him. 

    “What do you want me to do, admit it? Okay, Snow, I’m a vampire. What now? Either kill me already or get out. I’m busy and not in the mood for you tonight.”

    This–

    This he had not expected. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,624
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    131
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1385
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Simon Snow has been on the run since he defeated the Humdrum, and he figures that if the middle of a national forest in Wyoming isn't far enough, no place is. He's taken a post as a firewatch, and his job is to sit in his tower and watch for fires. Most importantly, there's no contact with anyone in the outside world—except his supervisor via radio. It seems like a perfect escape.

    Though, his supervisor just so happens to be one Baz Pitch, who's been hiding out in the Shoshone National Forest for a while now.

    Trouble has a way of following Simon around, though, and before long Simon and Baz begin to suspect that something sinister is afoot in the Shoshone. They're not supposed to have any contact with each other outside their radios, but fate may have other plans.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,110
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    87
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1068
  17. Tags
    Summary

    (Currently paused. Will still be completed though)

    Simon Snow doesn’t like asking for help, especially since it puts people in danger most of the time. But when he decides he can’t do it alone, and asks Baz for help, everything he thought was set in stone shifts.

    Suddenly his best-friend is acting funny, he’s questioning if the Mage is as fair as he thought, and Baz is acting nicer. Not to mention Simon’s starting to think he’s attractive.

    Now Simon’s not sure if it matters if the Myth in the basement is real or a trap, if Baz is evil, or if he completes this ‘quest’.

    Because it’s already by far been the most interesting of his life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,540
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    303
  18. Tags
    Summary

    It's an important milestone for any mage to summon a familiar, and it's even an easy spell.

    What's the worst that could happen?

    Simon should know better than that, he messes up simple spells all the time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,659
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1676
  19. Tags
    Summary

    What if Simon Snow had a brother instead of getting chased around by the Humdrum? What if said brother was good friends with Baz, how would that go? What if the aforementioned brother fell in love with the supposed vampire king? Would chaos be ensued, who knows.

    Author explanation: So I wanted Lamb to be more appreciated because he kinda dipped in Wayword Son and no one has written fanfiction for him. I also felt having a villain-hero scenario with siblings would be cool, so I did what my mind wanted and made this mess. You're welcome.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,498
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    89
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Simon Snow is the worst Chosen One who's ever been chosen.

    Baz has been saying it for years, and that statement is made even more apparent by the fact that Simon hasn't even bothered to show up for eighth year. He may be a complete idiot, but that doesn't mean that Baz wanted him to disappear.

    Faced with an uncertain future, a Visiting from his mother, and the worry of whether Simon may have been fatally injured over the summer, Baz isn't sure how he's going to pass eighth year. It's his last year at Watford, and he can't even enjoy it.

    **

    or, the one where Simon was kidnapped at the beginning of eighth year instead of Baz.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,524
    Chapters:
    14/17
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    131
    Kudos:
    206
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    3920

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