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  1. Tags
    Summary

    When John bought a car, no one was surprised. I mean, do I even have to tell you why? What kind of nineteen year old catholic boy doesn't want a shiny new ride to impress the ladies? Not this kind, for sure.
    The teen had been saving up for a while to spend all his money on a beat up Volkswagen, save a little put to the side for gas money. His father wondered why John would take any interest in some old van, but never questioned the boy. He was growing into a fine young man and could most definitely start to make his own decisions .
    What no one expected -not even John- was for the new driver to pack a small back of clothes and a sleeping bag into the back of his van, announcing to friends and family that he was going off on an adventure.
    When anyone would ask John, "Why?" he would simply reply with "Why not?" followed by a reassuring grin.
    "But you'll miss Mass. What about school? College? Don't you have a girlfriend? What about a job?!" Each question was always silenced by the same answer. "Why not? These are all things I can leave behind, can't I?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,115
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1488
  2. Tags
    Summary

    He was floating in a dark and featureless void. Thoughts and memories drifted around him in a blurred haze. Feelings, sounds, smells, and so much more seemed to float just out of his reach. Where was he? Who was he? Was this even real? He looked around, looking for something that stood out. He spotted a memory, brighter and clearer than the other memories in the distance. He awkwardly started to swim towards it. Progress was slow but steady.

    Suddenly, a memory winked out of existence. Shocked, he looked around to find that all the other memories were dissapring, too. Some simply disappearing while other slowly dissolved into the void. Panicked, he redoubled his effort, desperately trying to reach the fading orb. He had to reach it before it disappeared forever! He was so close; it was just of reach! He lunged for it, but it still remained just out of reach! No! It was so close! He had to reach it! The golden memory was almost nonexistent now! But, he refused to give up! He kept pushing towards the memory, inching ever so slowly towards it. He had to reach it! There! He had it in his grasp now! The memory was a name! And, not just any name, it was his name! His name wa-

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    107,640
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    72
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1069
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Tavra Nitram begins to challenge the ideas she's been taught all her life when she finds and can't kill a savagely capricious sea troll, but she's playing a dangerous game and will need to work if she wants to keep her head above water.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,640
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    113
  4. Tags
    Summary

    "Everyone knew that the universe was made by the Two Goddesses: The Ram and The Spider. For the universe was inevitable, and all it needed was to be lucky enough over a long enough period of time.

    Sollux knew this, but he didn’t have to believe it."

    The trolls won the game, but only those who had God Tiered were able to claim The Ultimate Reward. The rest were reincarnated into humans and left without any memory of their previous species or their victory. Aradia and Vriska were left to pick up the pieces, and Aradia is starting with the troll closest to her.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,561
    Chapters:
    5/15
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    231
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat's spent his whole life trying to do the right thing, even at the expense of himself. But as the rebellion in the neighboring kingdom of Derse grows out of control, Karkat finds himself questioning if being a knight is really the best thing for anyone. A quiet bed, a boring life, and a boyfriend with a dark and mysterious past are a terrible temptation, and it doesn't help that Dave is even more gung ho about running away than he is.

    Also known as, "We Are Farmers: Bum Ba Dum Bum Bum Ba Bum"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,136
    Chapters:
    6/7
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    500
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat fights an imp and throws himself a pity party.

    --Triple Drabble Character Study of Karkat--

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    300
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    10
  7. Tags
    Summary

    A President and a comedian-turned-Rebellion-leader walk into a bar. Well, not a bar, but it's the President's office. And the President is the only one doing any walking in. It's unclear what the Rebellion leader is actually doing there or how he got in, but if this is a specific joke, there better be one hell of a punchline.

    Entry for the DirkJohn Big Bang 2020, updates on Sundays.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    208,400
    Chapters:
    26/30
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    146
    Kudos:
    121
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    3975
  8. Tags
    Summary

    "You lose your mind in your sparsely decorated cheap apartment room and stare out the window at the trees that are lit up from below by an orange streetlight. Until you can't anymore."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,646
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    7
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The sequel to CronusQuest. The following fanfiction contains coarse language and, due to its content, should not be read by anyone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,202
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    374
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “You know,” Dave started as he handed Karkat the mostly-smoked joint. “Your hands were the first thing I thought attractive about you. Not saying you aren’t attractive, but the day I knocked on the dorm door and you answered, the first thing I noticed was your hand on the door frame, so lean and all bumpy knuckles and veins. I know that sounds so fucking weird, dear God.”

    “Are you saying I should seriously consider hand modeling?”

    Dave turned his whole body to face Karkat, and the first thing he noticed was the deep blush running from the top of his head to his neck, the second being the glazed-over fuck me eyes he was currently staring Karkat down with. He fisted the front of Karkat’s hoodie and pulled him closer.

    “I’m saying” Dave purred, his voice dropping to an embarrassingly sexy octave. “I can’t wait for you to have those gorgeous hands all over me tonight.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,581
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    164
  11. Tags
    Summary

    hot and sexy hot hot cum everywhere soooooooo fucking erotic jizz in mouth big tits and ass and cock and balls

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    149
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Dave Strider lives with his three other roommates, Sollux, Karkat and John. One day, due to being sleep deprived and stressed to hell, Dave decides to message John on an anonymous account. Dave was hoping to get his feelings out of his system, but this only serves to make shit worse. Sparking a chain of events that spiral Dave further and further down a hole of stress and anguish as John seeks to find out which one of them sent the message, all while Dave drags his other roommates into the fray.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    210,461
    Chapters:
    51/?
    Comments:
    105
    Kudos:
    333
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    5635
  13. Tags
    Summary

    More than two sweeps after being returned to a restored Alternia, the trolls face impending adulthood and banishment from the planet. Gamzee Makara fully expects to be culled on conscription for poor health and sopor addiction - what he doesn't count on is the personal attention and protection of the Grand Highblood.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    205,316
    Chapters:
    50/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1071
    Kudos:
    2145
    Bookmarks:
    513
    Hits:
    65426
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Inspired by the 2007 h-manga "The Spirit of Capitalism" by Tuna Empire.

    Karkat is a hard working office worker at Pequod Enterprises, where he is expected to support the staff in *any* way he can. He's joined by the other members of Office Operations in attempting to improve company moral and profits.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,099
    Chapters:
    4/7
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    609
  15. Tags
    Summary

    At the start of the Covid outbreak, John Egbert's roommate moves back home, leaving him alone with a two bedroom apartment in the city. John is stressing out about getting his work done and finding a new place to live, when his best friend messages him, inviting John to come and live with his family on his farm where they harvest oranges from their orchard.
    John jumps at the chance to live with Dave rent-free with high hopes that will be the end of all his stressing, only, John didn't factor in the torment and stress that being gay on a farm filled with hot men would bring him and his fragile heart.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,384
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    40
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Hollywood had it wrong. The end of the world can be a slow thing. It never happens all at once.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,858
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    110
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    861
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It smells amazing and looks extremely cozy, the kind of organized messiness that minimalists would sneer at, and it’s something you’d only ever dream of living in. And it’s not your apartment.

    It’s not your apartment.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,027
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Hits:
    14
  18. Tags
    Summary

    In a time plagued by the division of a Kingdom, small villages are always the first and most brutal battle grounds. During the raid of her own village, is Aradia Megido in the midst of a decision that will change the course of her life. The once farm girl and Shepard- turned courtesan -is now at the mercy of the foreign world of the elite. Conquering the complicated and, sometimes, peculiar ways of nobility is one thing. Conquering the mysteries of her Lord and new employer are a bit more confusing.
    Equius Zahhak is a warlord, fabled in his country to be more beast than man and feared by any commoner bold enough to lay their eyes on him. However, it seems he has found a weakness within himself, one he can't help but indulge. A beautiful farm girl who's life became entwined with his due to his own impulsiveness. Not only must he quell the ongoing rebellion within the borders of his kingdom, but now he must face the battle field of human emotion and connection.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,872
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    180
  19. Tags
    Summary

    A gargantuan computer station put together with the aid of people much smarter than him in the realm of computers several weeks ago, and here Eridan was, sitting in on a weekend, preparing to play old video games instead of preparing to do homework, as he probably should be. Would his father yell at him for this egregious waste of time? Almost certainly, but then he wouldn't have the opportunity to enjoy this lightning-slick first person shooter experience that was bragged about by his more gaming-inclined of fellows. It hummed to life with ostentatious RGB lights glowing in a dizzying array of rainbow patterns, glazing over Eridan's mute, blank face, who had seen this light show a dozen times before.

    133/365

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    755
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    25
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Five gods rent a flat in Manhattan. That sounded like the start of a bad joke.

    In which Loki Silvertongue is not the only lost god who falls to a world that isn’t his own.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    437,085
    Chapters:
    73/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2233
    Kudos:
    2639
    Bookmarks:
    498
    Hits:
    66510

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