1 - 20 of 3488 Works in Jake English/Dirk Strider

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    DAVE: no seriously
    DAVE: it can literally do anything
    DAVE: like
    DAVE: talk to anything drive anything calculate anything
    DAVE: this thing is smart as fuck
    DIRK: Can it make babies and play football?
    DAVE: yeah dude totally

    -

    A retelling of the 2018 thriller, Upgrade, because everything is Homestuck. A good old fashioned high-tech revenge fantasy romp around a city that runs on machines in the near future; complete with AI, Striderian angst, and run on sentences, just like Mama used to make.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,714
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    875
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Strider has to kill Jake English.

    He's not the only one. Won't be the last. He has no choice if he wants to keep his brother alive, and for that, he would do anything the world asked of him.

    Jake English has to keep them alive.

    He never asked to be a leader, just wanted to make sure his friends had enough to stay on their feet.

    It's too late to turn back now.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,858
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    190
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Draconics, a dying magical species hunted by ruthless hunting guilds. KarKat Vantas and the two of his brothers may be involved in said hunting guilds, and while setting out to catch a violet scaled Draconic, he makes a nearly fatal mistake.

    Eridan thought he would be able to hide his dragon features just long enough to escape the bustling town. But instead he had gotten himself trapped. Trapped to this stupid human with a stupid mating mark.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,527
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    131
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat Vantas moved to Earth for his own safety and wants nothing more than to graduate college in peace. The universe has other plans.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,336
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    554
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Inspired by medievalstuck by my friend the frog and fantasystuck by egosweetheart. :3

    The war between Prospit and Derse had ended and a treaty signed to prevent further destruction of the two kingdoms.
    The ruling royals of Derse have been dethroned and Amporas have taken over.
    Your name is Dirk Eloise Strider and you've just witnessed a coup from the Amporas and have been forced to flee.
    Your name is David Elizabeth Strider II and you've just escape your execution.
    You name is Rosette Elaine Lalonde and you just gotten news of the coup in your home kingdom.
    Your name is Cronus Ampora and you're escorting a seer/representative of Prospit to Derse.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,342
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    42
  6. Tags
    Summary

    I think the title explains it pretty well. I will not elaborate on this weird alternate universe where Jake and Dirk replace the main characters of BraveStarr.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,041
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    45
  7. Tags
    Summary

    "Jake English, this mac and cheese is good enough to give a man with erectile dysfunction a rock hard boner.”

    --

    After many years on Earth C, Dirk and Jake learn to heal in their own horny ways.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,030
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    155
  8. Tags
    Summary

    here be monsters

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,575
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    255
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Meat or Candy? Those two choices simply weren't good enough; it's time for something new. Something healthier.
    CANDY - sweet, but empty and unfulfilling. nice in the moment, but ultimately unhealthy
    MEAT - raw, juicy, fulfilling, but leaves a bad feeling in your stomach and a shitty taste in your mouth. might make you sick later.
    SALAD - fulfilling and tasty, and actually fucking healthy to consume! it's something you brought, something you wanted; it's your own path.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,730
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    357
  10. Tags
    Summary

    🍬 "I've got a sweet tooth- it gets the best of me, and you're like candy~" 🍭

    https://youtu.be/WpVSbppnpps

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,754
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    41
  11. Tags
    Summary

    It all started like everything does in Homestuck on April 13, 2009 but the way it changed was that it never stopped.

    Or: A story based off the Infinite Loops project with all the chaos and shenanigans that follow

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,704
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    189
  12. Tags
    Summary

    For TT life has been simple. There's only one thing that matters to him, and it's his brother TG. Their new master, Harley, lives alone on a secluded island with two other boys already under his control. There is nowhere to go, even if they could escape. TT can't save them from their new owner, but maybe there's a way to keep a piece of yourself alive, if you hide it in somebody else's heart.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,711
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    199
  13. Tags
    Summary

    DIRK: I’m gonna need you to walk me through the steps. Think of it as wooing me, here.
    DIRK: What’s in it for you?
    DIRK: Why do you want this?
    JAKE: Well when you shove me hard on the spot like that a fella starts feeling a little bit silly.
    JAKE: How shall i put this...
    JAKE: Have you ever seen the movie Avatar, dearest?
    JAKE: It stars these huge and really elegant androgynous alien catpersons of various blue hues frolicking about in the jungle and experiencing primal intimacy through the act of downright spiritual brainfucking.

    Jake wants to have an "honest conversation" with Dirk about some of his wants and buried anxieties.
    Apparently, the upper echelons of English's hierarchy of needs are pretty curious about the whole... narrativic ordeal.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,938
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    216
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “The full moon is tomorrow,” you tell him. His eyes widen slightly, and then watch you with a new kind of intensity. “A strong moon, so I gather. That is when I will kill you.”

    (Dirk finds a werewolf dying in the snow, and like the arrogant Hunter he is, he takes him back to his hideout and nurses him back to health, intent on killing him as the next full moon rises. But this moon is different. It's not a moon for hunting, as Dirk soon finds out.

    written for a beautiful kink meme prompt which got completely out of my hands.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,927
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    441
  15. Tags
    Summary

    a thrilling spinoff of the bee movie, ft esoteric pixie bf

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,090
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    673
  16. Tags
    Summary

    This is also something you like to with Jake, painting over the bad memories with new ones, Jake paints everything in a new light, green and gold plastering over the blood-red, filling in the cracks that Bro put in your and Dave’s lives.


    TW//Blood mentions, violent abuse (past/implied), a victim still living in the place they used to be abused in


    Despite the warnings, this is really fluffy!! I swear dude!!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    937
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    69
  17. Tags
    Summary

    >be Jake

    >get shipwrecked

    >forcibly befriend a snakeman

    >profit

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,103
    Chapters:
    33/?
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    4089
  18. Tags
    Summary

    It's cold out here. You feel goosebumps run up and down your arms like hounds that have caught a scent. You should've brought a jacket. Next to you, the object of your affections is crying and you don't know what to do. You feel inept and dumb and you need something to take it out on before it splashes onto him. You don't want to hurt him.
    "I need to tell you something," He's slurring badly. This can't be good.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,548
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    102
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Living with Trolls was wierd, Dave decided.

    It wasn't not the lack of Dæmons, no, he'd kinda expected that from his talks with Terezi and though it was slightly shocking to actually see them walk alone with nobody to talk to, he wasn't actually surprised. It was the fact they didn't care what forms dæmons took.

    -----

    Vignettes in the lives of the 8 humans and their dæmons, some good, some bad.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,021
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    73
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk and Dave discuss davekat's strange dynamic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,789
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    288

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