1 - 20 of 47 Works in Hastur Being an Asshole (Good Omens)

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    Summary

    After receiving a phone call from the last person that he wanted to hear from again, Crowley was handed a basket with Lucifer's son and told to deal with it.

    Eleven years later, the neighborhood that he and Ezra Fell called home was being besieged on two sides.

    Lucifer Morningstar was campaigning to both retain his seat as a Minister of Parliament and to claim the role of Secretary of State for Housing, Communities and Local Government. Which would allow him and his associates to transform the neighborhood into a den of iniquity, filled with strip clubs, bars, and adult theaters under the guise of "improving the economy of the community."

    Those supporting the current Communities Secretary, Ms. Lord, intended to gentrify the neighborhood. Which would involve driving out the community that already lived there in order to bring in the types of crowds and businesses that people like Gabriel Messenger approved of more.

    No one in the community of Eden wanted either of those outcomes. But stopping both sides won't be easy. Not when some of those in power have few reservations about crossing the line to achieve their goals. How could a bookseller and a florist be expected to pull it off on their own?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,793
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    406
  2. Tags
    Summary

    It has been 270 years since Sirens were cursed to live under the sea and tensions have only been rising like steam from a boiling pot.

    Crowley, a Siren in his late two hundreds, has felt out of place his entire life and wonders where he is meant to be. He figures he'll never find that answer until one day he meets a human, the prince Aziraphale. He'll do anything to stay with him, even make a deal with the notorious Sea Witch, Lucifer. Will he be able to keep his end of the deal or will Lucifer claim his life? Will he be able to stay with the man he loves or will he live the rest of his life under the sea?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,574
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    270
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Demon Azira(fell) must go through the on fire M25 to get to Tadfield Air Base, and deal with Hastur, again! And, Madame Tracy who is possessed by Angel Crowle, and Shadwell make their way to Tadfield Air Base on a scooter.

     

    Season 1, Episode 5: The Doomsday Option (From arriving at the M25, to the end.)
    Edited, and new dialogue, and I've tried to correct all the spelling mistakes.

    Formally called; the m25 is 'not' on fire & crowley's un-possession

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,209
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    123
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Demon Azira(fell) uses Holy Water to get out of a tight spot with Hastur and Ligur, and the angel Crowley has a run in with the Archangels... and, now Shadwell is here, trying to exorcise him...

     

    Season 1, Episode 4: Saturday Morning Funtime. (From the scene with Ligur's death to the end.)
    Edited, and new dialogue, and I've tried to correct all the spelling mistakes.

    Formally called; the unholy water plan & the ‘successful’ angel exorcism

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,658
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    167
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Angel Crowley goes on a jog with Gabriel to convince him to stop the Apocalypse, and fails. Hastur threatens demon Azira(fell) while wearing a clay bunny costume, and so Azira(fell) tries to convince Crowley to run away to Alpha Centauri with him.

     

    Season 1, Episode 4: Saturday Morning Funtime. (From the beginning to when Azira(fell) (Or, Crowley) tries to convince him to leave to Alpha Centauri.)
    Edited, and new dialogue, and I've tried to correct all the spelling mistakes.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,138
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    122
  6. Tags
    Summary

    What better way to cement the truce between Hell and Heaven? Demons and angels meeting on neutral ground, putting their differences behind them, maybe even having fun.

    How could it possibly go wrong???

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,115
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    114
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Angel Crowley and demon Azira(fell) have a plan to find the Antichrist, one problem... I think they were just shot!

     

    Season 1, Episode 2: The Book. (Up until they get shot)
    Edited, and new dialogue, and I've tried to correct all the spelling mistakes.

    Formally called; totally going to plan!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,751
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    166
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Demon Azira(fell) becomes a Nanny, and angel Crowley becomes a gardener for Warlock. They stay with him until he's eleven... wait a minute, who misplaced the Antichrist?

     

    Season 1, episode 1: In The Beginning. (From becoming Godfathers to the end of the episode)
    Edited, and new dialogue, and I've tried to correct all the spelling mistakes. Also, added a bit more of Azirafell's demon form.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,717
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    199
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The demon Azira(fell) must deliver the Antichrist, and the angel Crowley, is unsure of what to do.

    Season 1, episode 1: In The Beginning. (Up until they decided to raise Warlock.)
    Edited, and new dialogue, and I've tried to correct all the spelling mistakes.

    Formally called; about 11 years

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,827
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    15
    Hits:
    226
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Demons didn’t give up easily. Yes, there were the ones like Beelzebub, who simple couldn’t be concerned with getting revenge on a lowly demon like Crowley. But then, of course, there were the ones like Hastur. Hastur wasn’t afraid of Crowley. He had been, for what felt like a split second but was probably closer to a few hours in human terms, but he wasn’t anymore. He just wanted to see Crowley hurt, no matter the cost.

    In other words: Crowley gets attacked by Hastur and Aziraphale is there to save him. Much comfort/fluff ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,078
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    601
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Inspired by Calliope by Neil Gaiman.

    Crowley is a writer struggling to write a follow up to his successful debut novel, and becomes so desperate to cure his writer's block that he procures a muse.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,897
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    45
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale and Crowley's plan to essentially retired to Tadfield to finish raising Warlock would have gone so much better if Hastur wasn't a stubborn and vengeful demon. One who, through a miraculous spark of inspiration, realized that he could hurt Crowley by taking something precious away from him. Which was why Hastur ended up stabbing the angel with an occult blade and leaving him to expire permanently.

    Crowley, however, was also stubborn. And creative. And desperate.

    Desperate enough to risk summoning someone much better at healing, but with absolutely no reason to help him. But if it saved his angel, Crowley would try anything.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,750
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    97
    Kudos:
    183
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2558
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Dust motes, barely visible, drifted around the leaves, dull in the dreary light that seeped through the windows. A typical day in London, though Aziraphale could sense cooler, and even damper, air coming soon, even without reading the newspaper. If the stiff ache in his knee was anything to go by, it was going to be a miserable next few days, especially for his cold-blooded companion. It was good that Crowley had decided on a day out for mischief before it was too uncomfortable for him. Though, the angel secretly wondered if the demon had his own internal barometre as it were. Surely, if his knee still ached from the old War, then Crowley’s Fall must have left its own tenderness. Not that he dared to pry.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,255
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    88
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    512
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale is a contestant on his favourite game show, 666 Heartbeats, where the amount of time he will have to answer the questions is dictated by how fast his heart is beating. If he wants to win big, he'll just have to stay calm. Easier said than done when he has an enormous crush on the host, who won't stop reassuringly touching him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,093
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    90
    Kudos:
    283
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    1342
  15. Tags
    Summary

    After Jack's explosion in the empty, it not only woke everyone in it, it also seemed to make a black hole connecting dimensions.
    After Jack becomes god, he brings everyone back, including everyone in the apocalypseverse who was snapped was brought back. Everyone gets their happy ending- but one person. Dean Winchester.

    Crowley and Aziraphale are in a period of peace. Or so they thought. Quickly comes Hastur- seeking vengeance for Ligur. Aziraphale and Crowley make a hasty escape in Crowley's car, the portal swallows them up and their attacker.

    Lucifer's family meeting goes sideways when his father blames all Lucifer's biggest problems on Lucifer. Lucifer leaves, flying back to a bewildered Chloe. He makes Chloe leave with him, taking his car, he goes to explain when a portal opens and swallows them both up as well as an unknown passenger.

    Dean is sitting outside the bunker. He is about to turn in when something mysterious happens.

    They have to put the dimensional puzzle back into its proper way before the universe ends.
    But first- some fun friendly times!

     

    Updates every 2-3 days.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,785
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    2069
  16. Tags
    Summary

    A nasty run in with Hastur has Crowley unconscious in an alley during a nasty snowstorm. Aziraphale hears his call and brings him back to the bookshop to help warm him up and the two have a long needed conversation.
    (Gift for WhiteleyFoster)

    Series
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    Words:
    4,837
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    205
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    2104
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley had the bright idea, and his plan should have gone off without a hitch: Steal the anti-Christ, raise him with Aziraphale to not destroy the world and prevent Armageddon. What could go wrong? Neither of them can foresee just how much can go wrong when you are attempting to save the world.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,563
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    735
  18. Tags
    Summary

    After a bizarre confrontation with Hastur and one really bad cup of tea, Crowley finds himself in an alternate universe wherein he's back to being the archangel Raphael, there's no Arrangement, and Aziraphale is actively trying to discorporate him.

    The worst part?

    Every time Aziraphale succeeds in offing him, and "Raphael" is returned to earth with a new body, the day resets. It's always the same doomed Wednesday, over and over and over again.

    Getting into this time-loop was an accident; getting out and back home again (if Crowley ever manages it) will have to be something entirely else.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,168
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    119
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1053
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Heaven has abused the Disgraced Cherub Aziraphale. His former lover (whom he cannot remember) was framed, and subsequently became a part of the Fallen. His failures in Eden have resulted in a gory demotion from Cherub to Principality.
    Crowley didn't mean to Fall. He just hung around the wrong people. Hell abused him and wiped his memories of his former lover in Heaven.
    But God's not going to let them get separated that easily.

    Alternative Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley (known as Jeremiel in Heaven) were lovers in Heaven before things went awry. God ships them too much to allow them to be apart and plays an ineffable game to draw them together. Gabriel and Beelzebub like to casually hangout. Crowley and Aziraphale are way more soft than is depicted in canon.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,637
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    337
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “Great then, thanks,” Crowley replied. “Fine job done by me. My angel and I will be off now.”

    He began to walk toward Aziraphale, his angel’s head finally snapping up and looking at him with surprise.

    “Oh no, no. You’re not leaving yet.” Hastur stepped between the angel and his demon, a dangerous look on his face. “We haven’t had the ceremony yet.”

    “Er… right. What ceremony, exactly?”

    Hastur smiled, but there was nothing remotely kind about it.

     
    ~In which hell finds out that Crowley and Aziraphale spent the night together, and they decide they deserve a turn with the angel, too.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,291
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    117
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1277

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