1 - 20 of 180 Works in Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Being an Idiot

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier is an omega and part of an arranged marriage to unite the Pankratz and Von Rivia crime families. He is tied to an alpha, Geralt aka White Wolf and both see the marriage as duty, but how much of it is purely duty? Meanwhile, a rival gang upsets the balance the Von Rivia’s have created in their city and it turns out two recently married criminals are just the two needed to restore order.

    Side Note: this universe is inspired by the Edo and Meiji Periods in Japanese history, mixed with the Witcher-verse, and the Omega Verse. So if you’re a bit confused, that’s understandable.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,841
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    310
    Kudos:
    445
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    9566
  2. Tags
    Summary

    When miscommunication goes too far; A bard becomes a spy and a witcher challenges the myth that he can’t feel.

    "The stretch of weeks, months, and even once a year, always put a strain on Jaskier as he waited for the reunion with his witcher. He cannot remember when the switch from friends to occasional bedmates had happened."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,910
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    772
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “Really, the audacity of that man. You save someone’s life, invite them along on an epic adventure -- well, maybe not in so many words but my welcome was certainly implied -- and then just...leave them! Toss a coin to your Witcher indeed, clearly the first order of business is to toss some manners right through his thick skull just as soon as I find him,” Jaskier mutters to himself, his boots long abandoned and clenched tightly in his grip. 

    Or, a direct continuation of Geralt and Jaskier's meeting in Posada, because someone has to develop their relationship and it sure won't be Netflix.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,057
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    82
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    261
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The first time Geralt and Jaskier share a bed is not quite as simple as it seems.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,582
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    196
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    644
  5. Tags
    Summary

    It’s Jaskier’s first time wintering at Kaer Morhen. When he comes to Geralt’s room in the middle of the night, the witcher is sure what he’s after, and it has nothing to do with some imaginary “haunting”.
    Or
    Jaskier can’t sleep because of ghosts and Geralt responds by sexing him up, much to his delight and confusion.

    New summary courtesy of maiNuoire:
    Jaskier: I have ghosts, can I crash here?
    Geralt: Sure, climb in, are they in your dick? Let me help...
    Jaskier: ... wut.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,792
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    82
    Kudos:
    278
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    3157
  6. Tags
    Summary

    “Kiss my ass you festering shitnugget!”

    As last words go, not the most profound. But even with his final breath Lambert can sneer in the face of the disgusted Noble who ordered him killed.

    Isn't Lambert surprised when his execution goes off track in the most unpredictable way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,911
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    93
    Kudos:
    238
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    2100
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Years ago, Geralt meets a little boy befriending a monster.

    Years later, Geralt meets a bard. There's something familiar in the way he tries to keep Geralt from killing monsters.

    "Real monsters are human", he'd always say.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,023
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Comments:
    243
    Kudos:
    871
    Bookmarks:
    158
    Hits:
    14776
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt goes to a club at the request of his brothers with the promise that his boyfriend is going to be there. Jaskier is late, as usual, and Geralt panics when a performer keeps hitting on him.

    ALTERNATIVELY

    Jaskier performs in drag for his boyfriend for the first time to a less than enthusiastic reception.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,438
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    173
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    900
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The first time a certain witcher and a particular bard share a room.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    286
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    440
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Witchers feel emotions, Renfri wasn't a monster, Roach is notably chill, Geralt prefers nonhuman company and lies a lot, Jaskier is generally good at people but is happy to ignore what they say because he thinks he knows best, Yennefer's life is abuse piled atop abuse with a sprinkle of ethnic cleansing and a complete lack of choice, Istredd's life likely wasn't much better, Tissaia does not know what she's doing, Triss is lying about being assigned to cure the princess but is afraid to admit a personal investment, Jaskier is surprisingly tolerant of Geralt getting him on Calanthe's shitlist, Kalis was in a bad situation, and didn't rise above it, it really shouldn't surprise people Yennefer gets weird about having a kid, rogue mages are afraid of the Brotherhood but it seems to be a paper tiger. Jaskier took being dumped by the countess really hard, and it's left him worried about if Geralt doesn't care about him either. Despite being drunk and having his own problems, he's concerned for Geralt and wants to help him.

    Ch22: Geralt was fine with having sex with Yennefer but concerned she had some other plot. Geralt was completely right.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    130,008
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    170
    Kudos:
    138
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    3824
  11. Tags
    Summary

    After the disaster of Geralt's djinn wishes, you'd think he'd learn not think of any wishes anywhere near someone who could grant them. Unfortunately, Geralt has many wishes in the wake of the dragon hunt, and he runs into a witch who seems to know a way to grant them all at once.

    The world in which Geralt wakes after that encounter is very, very wrong.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,674
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    230
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    2563
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt thought he invited a nice, normal guy he met at the airport on his work retreat to Hawaii. Mistakingly, he texted someone from a terrible blind date he had months ago and invited them instead...

    Not his fault they had the same name!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,936
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    186
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    2971
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Yennefer runs into Jaskier two years after they separated from Geralt, and the sparks between them ignite. When Jaskier goes missing after their clandestine affair, Yennefer is honor-bound to find him - and brings him to Kaer Morhen for the winter to heal. But of course, with Geralt around, healing won't come easily. The trio has until the snow thaws to figure out what to do with their fresh revelations and old regrets.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,595
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    126
    Kudos:
    211
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    3721
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Four candles lined up neatly on the mantelpiece; black for Geralt, purple for Yennefer, white for Ciri and a delightful sky blue for himself. Each of them carried an identical set, which Yennefer had spelled to be magically linked.

    Ciri had pitched it as a way to easily communicate that everyone was safe when they were travelling separately, but Jaskier knew it meant more than that really.

    I’m here. I’m thinking of you. I love you.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,059
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    116
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    589
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt's tired, hungry and soaked to the bone, his armour weighing heavily on him, making the mundane task of bringing the trophy back to the mayor seem almost impossible, even for a witcher. The rain has been relentless, hefty droplets continuously banging on his head, shoulders and hunched back, pouring behind the collar of his gambeson (which he wore just in case and which he regretted immensely as soon as the fight started).

    Maybe going to hunt a rogue griffin in heat after a fortnight of travelling on horseback in unraveling autumn hasn’t been the best idea. Especially considering the fact that the morning has brought an unexpected endeavour with a horde of alghouls, already taking a toll on Geralt’s stamina and his general wellbeing.

    ***

    Geralt breaks Jaskier's lute and chaos ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,843
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    120
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1196
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Inspired by a tumblr post by @darkverrmin:

    Geralt keeping an eye on Jaskier after the mountain, following him silently and making sure he's okay. Geralt finds himself fighting and killing a lot of men and mercenaries who try to hurt Jaskier.

    Jaskier has no clue.

    After a few months of this, Geralt realizes in horror that it wasn't he who was endangering Jaskier, while they were traveling together. It was the bloody fucking opposite. The cheerful, bubbly bard had more enemies than all of the kings Geralt ever knew, combined.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,867
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    245
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    2878
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt has had a realisation and now he has a mission: do something nice for his bard. What could possibly go wrong?

    OR: Five times Geralt tried to do Jaskier a favour and the one time he finally succeeded.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,564
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    208
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1285
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “So uhhh...you come around here often?” Jaskier asked, leaning on the counter. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing some beautifully tattooed flowers. Geralt tried very hard not to stare at the way the muscles in his forearms flexed when he moved. 

    “I work here.” Was the apron not telling enough? Shit, was there flour on his apron? On his face? 

    Jaskier laughed. It was light and musical and sounded like little bells. It sent goosebumps across his arms. He wanted Jaskier to do it again. “I know! I just wanted to start some conversation!”

    Conversation? As in...talking? What was he supposed to say? He was awful at talking to people that weren’t his brothers. Or Vesemir. Or Yen. Or Ciri. 

     

    or: vesemir, geralt, eskel, and lambert are all polish immigrants who own a deli shop. jaskier and yen work for planned parenthood. aiden owns a pet store. they're all dense and there is enough mutual pining for everyone to have a second helping. *glances at fic* ....maybe even a third helping.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,202
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    105
    Kudos:
    184
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    2209
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt needs a place to keep Ciri safe until winter. At it looks like Destiny's playing her games again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,452
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    196
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    3737
  20. Tags
    Summary

    This was supposed to be a fix-it but its just hurt/no comfort at this point. I may add more chapters to repair the damage thats been done, but this is it for now. I'm so sorry. This just hurts. There is no comfort.

    Jaskier actually has a backbone and defends himself on the mountain after Geralt blames everything on him. Also, small detail, but just assume that Jaskier typically winters at Kaer Morhen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    849
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    187

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