1 - 20 of 132 Works in Eliot Waugh's Canonically Huge Dick

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “I think I’ve waited long enough to meet Eliot,” his dad says, and Quentin can already feel himself caving. He’s run out of excuses, and he can sense it, his dad’s going to bring out the big guns— “and we don’t know how long until the cancer comes back, and I just want—”

    There it is. Ted knocks through the last barrier he has in his defenses, and Quentin folds, just like that cheap-ass card table Eliot was using as a bar until he slammed one too many shot glasses down on it.

    “Okay!” Fuck. Goddammit shit fuck fuck fuck. “Okay. I’ll bring him. For a visit.”

    “Really? Fantastic. For your birthday next weekend? I can cook. Or order in. Your favorite. Whatever you want! You can spend the weekend?”

    “Sure!” Why the fuck not? I’d love to spend my birthday fake-dating the man I’m in love with, who is most definitely not in love with me, so my dad can die peacefully, assured his son won’t spend the rest of his life with only his Fillory books, Star Wars action figures, and anatomically correct blow-up dolls for company.

    Post S3 AU. No monster. The only disasters here are bisexual ones. Post-mosaic fake-dating shenanigans.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,288
    Chapters:
    1/8
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    195
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “It says here that the one-handed tut has to be performed - sorry, this book is old - I’m not sure I’m - it has to be performed ‘inside of a human sheath’, whatever that means.” Alice says, squinting at the yellowing pages.

    “That means a rectum, Alice,” Eliot said with a sigh, like it was the most normal sentence he could have uttered.

    “Yeah, NOPE ,” Penny said, climbing up off the couch.

    Ignoring him, Margo began to explain. “The technical name is Rasputin’s Unbinding but most people just call it —”

    “The Butt Tut,” Eliot and Margo said in unison.

    “Literally speaking, we need a willing asshole. Who’s volunteering so we can return to our business?” Margo projected her voice over the clamor.

    ———

    Our heroes are in trouble and the volunteer tomato can’t just let someone else get fisted.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,744
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    200
  3. Tags
    Summary

    He’d thought that his feelings for Quentin would diminish. A longer half life than normal, but fading nonetheless. But he’d had to actively push Quentin from his mind, working at losing him piece by piece (—two rivers, a continent— he thinks), but it was work, an active extrication, dulled by alcohol and drugs and sun-soaked, over-waxed men. It had taken time and the death of brain cells, his sobriety and losing the life he’d tried to build—

    —but Eliot is sure, as soon as Quentin walks into his patisserie, that all of that resistance, the repeated acts of forgetting, was for nothing. Eliot thinks, gripping the edge of the counter as he stares— God, he’s staring— that Quentin in his twenties was surely beautiful, but the man in front of him is something else entirely. Softer, somehow, deep laugh lines at the corners of his eyes, his hair short now— and somehow, that’s worse than the loose bun he used to wear because it’s wholly different, betraying all the time lost between them. His dimples crease as he catches Eliot’s gaze, and he pushes his glasses up the slope of his nose. He’s—God, it’s so corny, and Eliot is so fucked—Q is artistry, perfect form, Eliot’s long-buried wanting made manifest.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,607
    Chapters:
    5/8
    Comments:
    126
    Kudos:
    160
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1999
  4. Tags
    Summary

    As promised, Margo has prepared an excursion to the city with Quentin and Eliot to get their minds off the Quest, with the help of their latest find, the oh-so-special 8th Key. The destination? A BDSM Dungeon.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,508
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    25
    Hits:
    490
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Eliot puts on a show. Margo directs.
    Quentin is the (test) audience who's enthusiastic about audience participation.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,806
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    399
  6. Tags
    Summary

    "How's your head, baby?"

    Quentin let his head roll against the back of the chair he was reclined in. "Mmm, sparkly," he said.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,656
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1213
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Quentin shook out the tension in his hands. He didn’t understand why it wasn’t getting any easier. For days on end he’d been trying to perfect the illumination spell the rest of his fellow First Years had nailed in a matter of hours. But no matter how he tried, Quentin couldn’t seem to make anything more than a spark.

    He didn’t know what was worse: that his discipline was apparently shit at magic, or that he’d been placed in the Physical Kids’ Cottage with his ex-whatever-the-hell-they’d-been-in-undergrad because the administration didn’t know what else to do with him. He couldn’t do shit about the latter, but he figured he could at least try and get the basics of magic down before Dean Fogg realized what a grave mistake he’d made in allowing Quentin into Brakebills to begin with.

    OR

    The one where Quentin and Eliot are exes who had an intense D/s relationship in undergrad.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    170,940
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    534
    Kudos:
    595
    Bookmarks:
    133
    Hits:
    14277
  8. Tags
    Summary

    The interior of the club is just as... as swanky as the exterior had suggested, and Quentin feels distinctly like a fish out of water as he skirts the edge of the dance floor. He still isn't sure how he got in, why he caught the attention of one of the co-owners, but he does know that that kind of woman is not the kind to be disobeyed. And he does want a drink, if he's going to be sitting here trying to figure out what's so appealing about...

    "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me," Rihanna sings over the speakers, and Quentin can't help an amused snort, both at the timing and the song choice.


    Quentin Coldwater ventures out looking for a night on the town, distracting himself from his recent break-up. He gets so much more than he bargained for - but hell, he's not complaining.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,861
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    817
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Quentin wants to sink through the floor. He can feel his neck and his cheeks flare hot, and his eyes skitter away from Eliot’s perceptive gaze. But then Eliot is turning back to the door, and he’s opening it and basically manhandling him through it, which — okay. Apparently is a thing for him as well.

    He has A Thing for tall guys named Eliot who smirks at him and looks at him and manhandles him through doors.

    Okay.

    Okay, he can deal with this.

    He still doesn’t know what he’s doing here, but he can deal with this.

    Because it turns out that tall guys named Eliot are the least of his problems.

    or;

    The one in which Magicians find their Soulmates through different means, and nobody seems to have informed Quentin of this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,592
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    148
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    1633
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Quentin Coldwater is an employee of Encanto Oculto, and it's an ordinary day staffing the stuck-in-a-wall event until one Eliot Waugh comes around the corner, with an unusual request.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,047
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    126
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1168
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “The chicken salad is like—a sacrifice for the old gods?” Quentin grins. “You’re so full of shit.”

    Something in Eliot’s chest cracks open, warmth spilling into his veins. Quentin’s dimples have to be illegal. “I assure you I am not. It’s vitally important to welcome the vernal equinox with aplomb. Honoring our ancient forebears.”

    “Isn’t it, like, very Eurocentric? Like, Ostara is Norse. We talk about honoring Bacchus and, like, Iris. And it’s just not—” Quentin, infuriatingly, gives Eliot a mansplainy little shrug. “I mean, there are lots of rituals to honor spring. Multiculturally.”

    Eliot sniffs. “This one has the best sexual rites, I assure you.”

    “I dunno. I bet you could add the best, uh, sexual rites to whatever you put your mind to.” Quentin taps on his glass, his eyes darting away before he takes a sip. His eyes flutter shut in pleasure, and Eliot’s stomach, traitorous, flips over. A leftover emotion, surely, since Eliot is over all things Q. Well, mostly. It was just the one kiss, incandescent in his memory, like something within him had split open, new growth climbing through him where there had only been lifeless blankness before.

    It hasn't been on Eliot's mind at all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,172
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    144
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    1136
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “Tell you what,” Eliot says with a smile that sends a shiver down Quentin’s spine. “I’ll go jet skiing. If you agree to go out dancing tomorrow night.”

    Quentin frowns, looking down. “Why do you want me to go out dancing? You know I’m—”

    Now Eliot is the one rolling his eyes. “So you’ve said. ‘A horrible dancer.’”

    He takes a step closer, and Quentin forces himself to stay in place, even as his heart picks up speed and his eyes flicker up to Eliot’s chest.

    “I want to go out dancing and I want you to come with me. And I want you,” Eliot says, and Quentin’s eyes snap up to his face. He’s staring down at Quentin, his eyes a darker shade of amber as his mouth pulls up into a smile that Quentin instantly remembers from many dark nights at the mosaic. “To dance with me. Deal?”

    Quentin holds his breath as he stares back, his mind reeling with Is this a date? Is he asking me on a date? Of course not, don’t be— “Yes,” he finally chokes out. “I’ll go dancing. If you go out on a jet ski with me.”

    Eliot takes a step back, becoming more relaxed. “Deal,” he says. “Now let’s pack up our shit and go rent a jet ski.”

    The gang goes on vacation. They deserve one, don’t they?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,526
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    109
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    966
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Quentin finds an old spell that he wants to try out. He could use it for any number of perfectly logical things, but naturally, the first thing that comes to mind is what a nice surprise it could be for his dom.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,462
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    802
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Quentin needs to come to Encanto this year—he just does. And Eliot just wants to be sure his best friend is fully prepared to have a good time while he's there. It's purely altruistic on his part.

    Or: Eliot Waugh tortures himself in a trap of his own making.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,428
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    999
  15. Tags
    Summary

    "So, um, what are you stealing me for?" he asked, letting Eliot go up the stairs first.

    "Margo and I are planning for Encanto Oculto and need some of your input. If you're still interested in going."

    "Okay. Um, I am still. Interested."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,819
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    781
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Five years ago, Alice's actions forced Quentin to make a deal with the Fairy Queen that could eventually cost him his daughter. A random coincidence puts Quentin in the middle of a coven of hedge witches that could possibly help him save her. The only issue is, it's run by his ex-boyfriend-- Eliot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    105,816
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    295
    Kudos:
    211
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    6078
  17. Tags
    Summary

    the accidental sexting trope, with bunnies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,686
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    120
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    883
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Eliot showers him with praise and prizes him apart gently, like wrapping paper he’s planning on saving on Christmas Morning. Margo’s more of a tear into her gifts person, leaving carnage behind all over the floor. He’s beginning to recalibrate to this slower, sweeter reckoning, would really enjoy it if Eliot slapped him while calling him ‘sweetheart’. Do they make a Hallmark card for something like that?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,354
    Chapters:
    2/4
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    142
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    2372
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "I don't get why it's such a big deal," Julia says. "If you ask me, Eliot seems like the kind of guy who'd think it's flattering that you're having sex dreams about him."

    And, well. Quentin's not sure that Julia's wrong about that, but he's feeling vulnerable enough without having to contemplate Eliot's inevitable condescension. Not to mention the fact that— "These aren't just sex dreams, Jules. They're like. Visceral. Like, they feel completely real right up until I—" Come. "—wake up. They're detailed. Graphic. It's like I'm— I'm basically sexually assaulting my friend in my sleep."

    "Yeah?" Julia pops another cereal flake in her mouth. "And?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,905
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    293
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    2204
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Two months into their relationship, Quentin's heat is upon them, and Eliot's there to help him through it. If he can just get out of his own way, that is.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,267
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    145
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1101

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