1 - 20 of 99 Works in Crowley is a Little Shit (Good Omens)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    He was funny, he was fussy, he was kind, he was derisive, he was generous, he was hoggish and Crowley was completely and utterly fucked. Sadly only metaphorically.

     

    This is the story of Crowley, a coffee shop employee and Aziraphale, a delivery driver, of them falling in love and being in a relationship. This is all soft fluff with a hearty helping of loving smut, so if thats your cup of hot drink, come on in!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,201
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    22
    Hits:
    188
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Demon Azira(fell) faces death by Holy Water and Angel Crowley faces death by Hellfire... or, do they? And I swear, I can hear a nightingale sing in Berkeley Square.

     

    Season 1, Episode 6: The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives (From the bus stop to the end.)
    Edited, and new dialogue, and I've tried to correct all the spelling mistakes.

    Formally called; the 'first' 'night' of the rest of their lives

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,277
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    166
  3. Tags
    Summary

    To: The person who stopped the washer in the middle of my wash cycle and took my clothes out just to wash your own… You are an Asshole! Unfortunately for you, so am I. You can find your wet clothes frozen outside in the snow. If you have any problems with this, come see me in 301.

    or

    Aziraphale has a new neighbor, and they certainly don't start off on the right foot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,242
    Chapters:
    13/17
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    605
    Kudos:
    848
    Bookmarks:
    136
    Hits:
    13952
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley and Aziraphale are neighbours. And...it does not go at all well, until it does.

    A human AU in which Aziraphale is a bookseller, Crowley is a drummer, and they are both petty disasters in the worst/best way.

    +++

    “So what’s your deal?” asked Crowley.
    “My-my-my deal?” Aziraphale stammered. “I’m a bookseller, is my deal.”
    “Oh,” they replied, sounding as uninterested as it was possible to sound.
    “It’s just, I couldn’t help overhearing, and --” Aziraphale swallowed hard. “You really are an accomplished musician. But I thought -- for after eleven PM -- perhaps we could reach some arrangement?”
    “Arrangement?”
    Aziraphale felt his his smile turning forced. “Such as, perhaps, playing the drums *before* eleven? Instead of after?”
    Crowley stared blankly at him. In fact he stared for so long that Aziraphale briefly wondered if he'd lapsed into ancient Greek again, which he was known to do in bad dreams or during panic attacks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,114
    Chapters:
    12/20
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1055
    Kudos:
    823
    Bookmarks:
    172
    Hits:
    16236
  5. Tags
    Summary

    After the setback at Warlock's birthday party, the Husbands find a mutually satisfying way to vent their frustrations..

    That sounds like a very thin plot, and, honestly, there is no plot. At all. I have zero excuses. They bicker and have some switch-tastic, crack-tacular fun with their plug-'n-play genitals. That's it, folks. Enjoy the romp!

    This is my third and final contribution to the #Whitesuitcrowley event, and it also covers my Good Omens Bingo squares "Books" and "Discord".

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,498
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    409
  6. Tags
    Summary

    An AU where Aziraphale and Crowley are students at Hogwarts. Some themes will connect to HP canon, such as the professors, but the main cast will all be replaced with GO's and a couple OCs (just to fill some gaps) Tags will be updated as the fic continues.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,286
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    73
  7. Tags
    Summary

    As you know, dinosaurs have never existed. The fossilized bones humans are so obsessed with are a mysterious, ethereal joke paleontologists just haven't seen yet... but things have changed.

    Ten years after the world failed to end scientists in Costa Rica have claimed to "resurrect" the prehistoric beasts in the interests of delighting children and immense profits. Aziraphale and Crowley are the only two residents of Earth who know how impossible this should all be and take it upon themselves to come out of retirement and investigate what is going on on Isla Nublar.

    What could go wrong?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,823
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    128
    Kudos:
    95
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1155
  8. Tags
    Summary

    When Aziraphale is being taken care of by a substitute for his usual tailor, he is getting much more than just his new suit fitted.

    or

    Thirsty tailor's patron wants to thoroughly get his seams checked.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,726
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    149
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    979
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley gets an unusual summoning… and a new pet/minion of chaos.

    Inspired by a meme: Ouija board rugs: it's all fun and games until the Roomba accidentally summons a demon...

    I'm sure you can all see where this is going. Anyhow this was intended as a one off short comedy, but then between me, CynSyn and several other Good Omens fan friends and my other half, we came up with so many more ridiculous shenanigans that Crowley, Aziraphale and Crowley's demonic hellspawn can get up to together that I decided to make this a weekly updated series which continued for over a year.

    There won't be any other regular updates, but I'm not discounting the possibility of the odd chapter happening in future if inspiration strikes. For now I'm calling it a completed work. But feel free to keep sending me prompts. You might inspire something more. Thanks for all the love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    109,415
    Chapters:
    55/55
    Comments:
    3995
    Kudos:
    1131
    Bookmarks:
    239
    Hits:
    30313
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley wakes up on the bookshop sofa and decides to add a bit of comedy to his day by encouraging the rain!

    Written for the 2021 Good Omens Celebration prompt Comedy. :)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,857
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    178
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “I just…woke up like this,” Crowley explained, in what was probably supposed to be a casual voice. “Definitely a curse. Probably one of those angels, thwarting and all, you know how they are.”

    “An angel.” Pinching zir nose, Beelzebub tried not to imagine the foolish way she was probably grinning. “And by pure coinczzidenzze, this angel juszzt happened to make you completely inviszzible on the day of your department budget review?”
    --
    A mysterious curse that Crowley DEFINITELY didn't cast on herself makes her invisible for a day! What sort of trouble can she get into? Or get her angel out of?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,798
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    209
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley has a new neighbour who's been oblivious to their advances so far. What's it going to take to get Aziraphale to cross the boundary between them, and act on their mutual attraction?

    Or, Flirty Redhead Sunbathes While Voyeur Neighbour Peeps Through the Hedge

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,834
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    151
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    987
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale and Crowley have some kinky fun in their South Downs cottage when one Fuck Shit Up Jacket becomes a bondage device.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,429
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    69
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    692
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Wedding planner Anathema Device is the Number One. She can organize anything for a wedding, flower arrangements, catering, a marching band or an emu. The name Device is a guarantee for a picture perfect wedding - and the perfect pictures will be taken by her top wedding photographer, and best friend, Anthony J. Crowley.

    Both of them see weddings mostly as business, until Anathema meets Newt, Love of her life, walking natural disaster extraordinaire, and very much not a person it’s possible to have a perfect wedding with.

    Which is perfect since Anathema frankly never wanted one for herself. She just wants a fun party, good food, and all of her friends to attend - including Crowley. For whom this might just as well be the apocalypse because no, he is not allowed to work on her wedding. Strictly invited only as a guest, Crowley finds himself at a loss. What the hell do you do at weddings? Well, if you are Crowley, the answer is some James Bond-like action, some worrying about fly swarms and their sources, having a lot of emotions, drinking some very funny wine, putting your foot in your mouth and just maybe meeting someone to share all of that with. Oh, and there’s always cake, isn’t there?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,922
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    153
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    793
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley finds a rather interesting book wedged behind Aziraphale's headboard, and takes an opportunity to wind up his angel.

    (A ficlet originally posted on Tumblr)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    761
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    108
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    416
  16. Tags
    Summary

    "Not going to happen."

    "What?" Aziraphale frowned. "Why not?"

    "Because I'm not going to fuck you in the Bentley."

    "Well…"

    "You are not fucking me in the Bentley either."

    "Honestly, Crowley. Out of all the things –"

    "No. We're not fucking in the Bentley. Or on the Bentley. Or beside the Bentley. The Bentley is a no-fucking zone."

    "You're being ridiculous."

    "I'm the one being ridiculous?"

    "I do know you love that car, but – "

    "I mean it. Not going to happen. How'd you like it if we were going at it in the shop?"

     
    ***

     
    (Part I of Interesting Places - aka Four times Aziraphale points out that, really, they should just have sex in the Bentley. Plus one in which he gets down to it (bad pun absolutely intended).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,919
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    804
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley decides that his local golf course could use a few upgrades in the landscaping department.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    500
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    140
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley wakes up from pandemic nap with an itch that can only be scratched by stirring up some trouble. Luckily there's a ridiculously large cargo ship in Egypt just begging for some demonic interference!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,846
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    107
    Kudos:
    269
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    1322
  19. Tags
    Summary

    When Crowley, a former rock star who was pushed out of the spotlight, finds himself losing face in the public eye yet again, he needs to find someone to raise his status, and fast. He and Aziraphale don't exactly hit it off right from the start, despite Crowley's instant attraction to him.

    But Aziraphale also needs to be seen dating someone, so the two of them come to an arrangement. Fake dating, misunderstandings, and general shenanigans abound!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,389
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    73
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    572
  20. Tags
    Summary

    As a storm brews over the South Downs, Aziraphale and Crowley get an unannounced visit from their nosy neighbor.

    (An unofficial sequel to my first ever fanfic to celebrate my one-year anniversary as a fandom writer)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,366
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    245

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