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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Five gods rent a flat in Manhattan. That sounded like the start of a bad joke.

    In which Loki Silvertongue is not the only lost god who falls to a world that isn’t his own.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    437,084
    Chapters:
    73/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2221
    Kudos:
    2637
    Bookmarks:
    498
    Hits:
    66249
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Hal ruminates, just a little bit. Dirk is there too.

    (I don't know if this really qualifies as graphic violence, just a little detailed impact play, but I wanted to err on the side of caution.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    669
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    31
  3. Tags
    Summary

    DAVE: no seriously
    DAVE: it can literally do anything
    DAVE: like
    DAVE: talk to anything drive anything calculate anything
    DAVE: this thing is smart as fuck
    DIRK: Can it make babies and play football?
    DAVE: yeah dude totally

    -

    A retelling of the 2018 thriller, Upgrade, because everything is Homestuck. A good old fashioned high-tech revenge fantasy romp around a city that runs on machines in the near future; complete with AI, Striderian angst, and run on sentences, just like Mama used to make.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,714
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    981
  4. Tags
    Summary

    How does one win over Karkat Vantas? Poetry. The odds of this succeeding are at 94.32%, based on some statistical analysis Lil Hal basically just pulled out of his ass right now.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    402
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    113
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Three years after the game, Dave returns to his apartment and meets someone he doesn’t expect.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,682
    Chapters:
    4/14
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    162
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1529
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk said he’d told Roxy about Gamzee hearing other folks' shadows, and Dirk said it’d gone fine, and Gamzee just somehow hadn’t found his way to being in the same space as the sister ever since, purely by chance. Maybe she was fine with it and maybe she wasn’t, and maybe Gamzee didn’t want to find out which here with strangers all bustling around.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,425
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    211
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Just because the game is over does not mean the questing is done. Whether it is a call from the abyss or an imminent natural disaster, there are some perils only the gods can circumvent.

    Some are crushed under the weight of the responsibility, while others run away

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,430
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    82
  8. Tags
    Summary

    here be monsters

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,575
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    259
  9. Tags
    Summary

    It all started like everything does in Homestuck on April 13, 2009 but the way it changed was that it never stopped.

    Or: A story based off the Infinite Loops project with all the chaos and shenanigans that follow

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,704
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    205
  10. Tags
    Summary

    It’s been three years since SBURB, and John’s friends have acclimated to the new environment they have found themselves in. They’re able to live happily, even if true normalcy isn’t a possibility. John, however, hasn’t quite been able to adapt quite like his friends. Even if the other’s stories are far from over, John has been left much farther behind by the narrative. But now? Now it’s time to catch him up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,341
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    261
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk and John have been dating for over a year, but John still hasn't met Dirk's family. This is why.
    MIND THE TAGS.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,264
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    243
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    5548
  12. Tags
    Summary

    >be Jake

    >get shipwrecked

    >forcibly befriend a snakeman

    >profit

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,100
    Chapters:
    33/?
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    4097
  13. Tags
    Summary

    That’s some extreme bloating, bro.” Hal says, speakers slightly crackling. “That fish must’ve gotten you good.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,086
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    435
  14. Tags
    Summary
    test.cpp
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,160
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    177
  15. Tags
    Summary

    A knock on Dirk's door shouldn't be that much trouble. But then, how would he know to expect a pair of snack-happy tricksters to be waiting for him?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,960
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    263
  16. Tags
    Summary

    After escaping from his abusive home, Dave moves to New York with the rest of his family. There, he helps them run their coffeehouse. Turns out, working there is easier said than done. Especially when an employee with the name "Karkat" captivates his attention.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,213
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1121
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk and Rose get thrown by cosmic bullshit from their respective universes to be stranded in the midst of Alpha Dave and Rose's cold war with the Condesce. They come to a single conclusion: the only way to keep the timeline from being doomed is to play a successful game of Sburb.

    Plans are easy enough to make. But Dirk Strider is a problem, and no one knows that better than Dirk Strider.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,267
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    117
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Your hot neighbour is acting strange, they haven't left their house in awhile. you're going to go check on him, you hope that he's alright, since something strange is on the air, and it's not just your love.

    (THIS IS AN UNRELATED DIRKHAL AU, I WANT TO MAKE THIS CLEAR. you can take it as related if you really want to though if you feel like it.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,694
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    49
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Dave Strider was living in Texas when his mother abandoned him and a neighbor called social services. He’s picked up by his older brother, Bro, who he has never meet and takes him to Georgia to live in a little stone house in front of a big woods on a red dirt road.

    It goes well, until Dave figures out what Bro does for money on the side.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,512
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    213
  20. Tags
    Summary

    They came to this isolated colony at the edge of human territories in search of reprieve, a way of putting their broken family back together again. Instead the Strider-Lalondes find themselves in an insular society operating on antiquated rules, and in the middle of an awkward political standoff with their violent alien neighbors.
    In an attempt to stop unchecked bloodshed between the two settlements, an arranged marriage is proposed. As the children of the most influential woman in the colony, Dave and Rose have very little choice but to shoulder the responsibilities of their position.
    But in politics, as well as life in general, few things are as they first appear. It quickly becomes apparent that both sides might’ve gotten more than they bargained for in the exchange, leaving a variously traumatized bunch of young soldiers and a mismatched group of would-be troll rebels with the task of settling their interpersonal issues and learning to work together. There is far more at stake than just their lives.

     

    [Space opera fic with arranged marriage elements, updates at least once every month. 3 guesses on which is the slow burn couple, no price.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    236,543
    Chapters:
    35/?
    Comments:
    399
    Kudos:
    568
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    12050

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