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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Archer is conflicted about his feelings in regards to Barry, his former nemesis turned friend. Through random happenstance, he ends up inviting Barry over to hang out. The evening proceeds a bit differently than he thought it would.

    Takes place mid-Season 11.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,554
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    134
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Set during season 7, pretty canon, except obviously its like a new subplot/episode. The gangs all here. Lana stormed out on Archer, but where is she now?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,063
    Chapters:
    4/10
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1,028
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Sterling Archer, worlds greatest spy, lover, fighter, hater. He makes enemies more than he does friends. From working for his mother, to working for the CIA, he is never lacking in ability to ruin the lives of those around him. To some, it at least makes things interesting. To the CIA he is a liability. To Slater, he makes life a living hell.
    -
    Hi! I've been working on this fic on and off for several years. I will try to have a chapter updated every 1-3 months depending on what school and work allows. With the ending of the series, think of this as a fun refresh. Starting directly after season 5, in place of season 6 onwards.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,587
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    76
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Detective Sterling Archer has an unusual request for Dreamland's bartender.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,401
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    328
  5. Tags
    Summary

    What happens when the ISIS contacts you to work with the greatest spy in the world? Hilarity and balls-deep action. (Phrasing ;) )

    Old story imported from WattPad. Enjoy!

    GUIDE:
    M/N= Male Name
    F/N= Female Name

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,973
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    341
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Krieger has been constrained by a very specific set of rules since he was recruited by Mallory Archer. When AJ gets kidnapped, Lana overrides them. Chaos ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,757
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    183
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Dr. Krieger finally gets to test out the hologram partner he’s been slaving over.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    223
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    50
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Archer plans something special for Lana.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,266
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    240
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Malory has tried to keep her agents in line many times with varying rates of success. Sometimes she has to resort to more unorthodox discipline to get the results desired.

    A collection of spanking/punishment fics for Archer. Most will be Malory/ character.Chapters will be labeled. And a brief summary of the story at the beginning

    The show has so many situations where spanking would be fitting imo.

    CONTAINS SPANKING don't like don't read

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,785
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    333
  10. Tags
    Summary

    This is a way too detailed description of someone eating crackers and dip. I got this idea while eating crackers and dip (+cheese). I don't know why I wanted to write this. I just knew I had too.
    Written like an overly detailed description of smut. But not smut. Written like it's about to turn into smut, but it won't.
    I hope you enjoy!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    435
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    93
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Archer admits (grudgingly) that she has a good point. "I don't know exactly, Pam, but as far as I can tell, it's like Groundhog Day and Billy Pilgrim had a weird, time travel-y baby."

    "Billy who?"

    "Billy Pilgrim?" he repeats, exasperated. "As in the time traveling protagonist from Kurt Vonnegut's classic Slaughterhouse Five?" At the blank look on Pam's face, Archer hangs his head in absolute frustration. "God, Pam, read a book!"

    (or, Archer has come unstuck in time, and no matter what he does, he and Lana are still separated, or on a break, or whatever, which... eat a dick, Time Stream)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,423
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    268
  12. Tags
    Summary

    "He was perfectly aware that quite frankly it was fucking sad to get drunk by himself on a Saturday night at sixteen when he knew for a fact other people in his year had gone out to a party in the town nearby but he really didn’t want to deal with those assholes drunk even though he was envious of there friendship So he drank until he passed out."

    Archer gets bullied at prep school, has a sexuality crisis and hooks up with someone
    (TW use of homophobic slurs)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,754
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    183
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Reader is hired as Archer's assistant ... without him knowing ... because his mother thinks he can't handle post-coma life on his own. What could possibly go wrong?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,989
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1,857
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Krieger’s lab experiments of a vampiric nature infect Cyril who then goes to Archer for help.

    Inspired by True Blood. In True Blood, if you ingest a vampire’s blood, you then have sex dreams about them. Also, the title is from the True Blood theme song, Bad Things.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,021
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    192
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Krieger helps you transition in the least painful way possible, actually, it's kind of fun

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    763
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    232
  16. Tags
    Summary

    The Vytal Festival is in full swing, but behind the scenes, things are far from perfect. With the threat of intrigue by unknown perpetrators, terrorism by the White Fang, and the ever-growing terror of the Grimm weighing over them, Dr. Ozpin calls in a little help... from ISIS (the spy company). [WARNING: Significant RWBY Season 3 Spoilers; read at your own peril. Or whatever.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,615
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    145
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It's Cyril's birthday (and New Year's Eve.) Archer calls him with a proposition.

    ////

    In the middle of weighing his options, though, Archer’s bathroom door opened and he stumbled back into bed. “It’s so cold in the morning,” he said softly, taking his place curled against Cyril’s chest, “warm me up.”

    Cyril smiled easily, closing his eyes and wrapping both arms around Archer. He rubbed over Archer’s back, his skin indeed rather chilly, and let their bodies touch fully because they had all night anyway.

    After everything last night, Cyril wanted to know if it was real or if Krieger was full of shit and Archer hadn’t really known what he was doing, but Cyril also didn’t want to be the one to ask about it. It only took a moment, though, for Archer to fall back asleep so Cyril let the thought drift from his mind in favor of also going back to bed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,242
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    696
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “We should run some tests to ensure you’re functioning at your… physical peak.”
    "What are you talking about?"
    "Physical therapy."
    "Oh." Ray had been relieved, because for a second he'd really thought Krieger was talking about-
    "And sex!"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,469
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    445
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The second episode of the Archer x Hannibal series. Alana Bloom appears and more crazy stuff happens.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,510
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    107
  20. Tags
    Summary

    After waking up from his coma, ISIS agent Sterling Archer has to come to terms with what changed while he was gone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,705
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    1,036

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