Comment on Primal

  1. A new speaker requires a new paragraph.

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    1. Hm, I thought I was doing pretty good at that. Oh well I will try to do better. Thanks for critic and for reading! ^^

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      1. Hmm, I suppose an additional comment: Misplaced punctuation, an example:

        "Walk with me.", Hazel's said a he shuffled towards the middle of the main den.
        Should be:

        "Walk with me," Hazel said as he shuffled towards the middle of the main den.

        Said, also doesn't "belong" to someone thus the apostrophe isn't needed. The word a should also be as.

        In general, commas should belong inside the quote and never outside. You have a huge excess of commas found right outside the quote, all those incidences are wrong. If the tag ends with a said-like word soon afterwards, end it with a comma, if not end it with a period.

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