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Achluphobia

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Kara Danvers is afraid of the dark. Logically she knows it can't hurt her, not much on Earth can, but logic has never played a part in fear.

 

 

Achluphobia, Eliza told her the name before, told her it was common in children and that most people grow out of it.

 

 

She hasn't.

 

 

It's not like she hasn't tried.

 

 

It's just every time she's in the dark she feels like she's suffocating.

 

 

Alex thinks it's because her first time seeing proper darkness was in the Phantom Zone.

 

 

The red sun on Krypton gave everything a soft glow even during the night.

 

 

She had never experianced darkness until she was in her pod leaving everything and everyone she knew and loved behind.

 

 

 

Kara remembered that vividly, the fear of the unknown, looking out and seeing nothing but darkness.

 

Feeling nothing but a chill seeping into her bones and knowing she would no longer feel the warmth of Rao.

 

 

Nightmares were common for Kara.

 

Kara who had lost everything, Kara who no one could relate to, sure they could try, but they would never know sorrow and loss like she did.

 

 

 

It was Alex who helped her.

 

 

It was always Alex who helped her.

 

 

Alex who painted the ceiling red and stuck glow in the dark stars and planets on her ceiling, desperately trying to make it look like Kryptons night sky.

 

 

The glow was green not red but Kara found she could breathe a little easier now.

 

 

The nightmares went from every night, to every other night, to once a week, once every two weeks, once a month, to only when something reminded her of Krypton.

 

 

Kara's grief still there, as it always would be, but it was no longer crippling.

 

 

The darkness still was though.

 

 

When she moved to National City Alex had already set her apartment up for her.

 

 

It was only when she climbed into bed that night she realised Alex had put a nightlight in her room and glow in the dark stars on her ceiling.

 

 

I love you xoxo - Kara

 

 

Nightmares returned with a vengence though.

 

 

Kara had hoped they would go with time, that her dreams could remain happy with her parents laughter and voices as the soundtrack.

 

 

 

The first time she called Alex about her nightmare was when she forgot how to get from her home to her favourite spot in the city.

 

 

Alex answered on the second ring and rushed to Kara like she always did, like she always would and whispered softly in Kryptonian until Kara fell asleep.

 

 

The more she forgot the worse the nightmares became.

 

 

She cried for hours, Alex holding her, when she couldn't remember the words to her dads favourite song or the sound of his laugh.

 

 

Her nightlight broke and the stars dimmed and Kara couldn't remember the view from her bedroom or the smell of her mothers perfume.

 

 

She remebered the explosion of her planet, the cold darkness of the Phantom Zone and woke screaming.

 

 

She called Alex.

 

 

And she called Alex.

 

 

And she called Alex.

 

 

Then she remembered.

 

 

Alex went away with Maggie for the weekend, camping. Her phone was turned off, like she promised Maggie it would be. Said promise only being made after Kara reassured Alex she would be perfectly fine.

 

 

Working on auto-pilot Kara rang someone else.

 

 

"Kara?" The voice sounded worried.

 

 

Kara couldn't answer. She tried, Rao did she try, but all she seemed capable off were chocked sobs.

 

 

"I'm coming, Kara,"

 

 

Lena broke several traffic laws and got there just as quick as Alex would've.

 

 

Heart in her throat, she used the key Kara had given her and followed the sounds of Kara's sobs into the bedroom.

 

 

She quickly wrapped Kara into her suprisingly strong arms and rocked the hysterical blonde, stroking her hair and whispering it would all be alright.

 

 

Kara knew it wouldn't be though.

 

 

She had been on her adopted planet longer than Krpton now, had known her Earth family longer than her Kryptonian family.

 

 

 

She was forgetting things and as the last daughter of Krypton, the only one who truly knew what it the planet was like, she couldn't.

 

 

Everything she forgot would be part of her culture lost forever.

 

 

"I'm forgetting them," Kara cried and Lena could do nothing but hold her tigther.

 

 

There were no words that would soothe Kara, no magic remedy that could fix anything, all she could do was hold Kara and be strong for her.

 

 

Because Kara was always strong, Kara was always the hero but now it was Lena's turn.

 

 

 

"It's too dark," Kara whispered.

 

 

This Lena could fix.

 

 

Using her phone's tourch she lit the room up.

 

 

"We can go get more stars tomorrow," Lena told her softly. "And another nightlight, maybe some spares too,"

 

 

Kara nodded and burrowed further into Lena who continued to rock her until her breathing evened out and she finally fell to sleep.

 

 

 

Kara would always know more grief then any one person should and she would always be afraid of the dark but with Alex and Lena she knew she'd never be alone.