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Alternate Universe: Miranda Priestly

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Acting/Film Stars (100)
Andy leaned forward and Miranda stepped back with a smirk. “Did you fall down and hit your little head?”

Andy laughed indulgently. “My trailer?” She motioned to the door. “Run lines?”

Miranda nodded, “that sounds good. You were a little flat in our last scene.”

Andy closed the door behind them and pinned Miranda to the wall of the small trailer. “Flat my ass.”

Miranda stole a kiss and then fixed her with a stern look. “We’re playing mother and daughter; we cannot be caught. You need to behave.”

“I thought you like me better when I’m naughty.” Andy grinned.

**

College/University (100)
Andy knocked on the doorframe of Professor Priestly’s office.

“Office hours are posted on the bulletin.” She said, not looking up from her book. “Come back tomorrow.”

“Maybe you could make an exception this once?”

Miranda looked up and smiled minutely, looking the girl up and down. “Come in, Ms. Sachs.”

Andy entered and shut the door behind her. “I don’t want to end this.” She admitted.

Miranda took off her glasses and set them down. “We’ve already talked about this.”

You talked.” Andy shook her head. “I’m not in your class anymore. I dropped it. Just think about it.”

**

Fantasy (100)
“And don’t forget to pick up Patricia.” Miranda barked as she walked to her office.

Andy furrowed her brow, turning to Emily and mouthing, “who’s Patricia?”

--

“Patricia! Heel!” Andy shouted as the exuberant Cerberus charged forward down the streets of New York City.

All three heads perked up when they spotted a husky and lunged. Andy offered the husky’s owner an apologetic smile, dragging the hell beast away.

Patricia bounded up the steps, three heads looking in all different directions. Andy was looking for her key when the door opened.

“Hello, my pets,” Miranda grinned. “Would you like coffee, Andrea?”

**

Ghosts (100)
“Here you go, sweetie.” Andy said, handing Miranda cup of hot tea.

“Thanks.” Miranda grumbled.

“Are they still here?” She whispered.

“Yes. And you don’t have to whisper. Ghosts can hear and see you.”

“Right.” Andy sat down across from her girlfriend. “What do they want?”

“What do they always want?” Miranda sighed, trying to turn away from the pesky spirit.

“Just help it and it’ll move on.” Andy shrugged.

Miranda looked up. “She’s very offended you called her an ‘it.’”

“I’m sorry.” Andy looked toward the spot that Miranda was ignoring. “I can’t see you… I meant no offense.”

**

Magic/Witchcraft (100)
“So… what you’re telling me is that you’re a witch?” Andy raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“Card carrying.” Miranda nodded. She held up her hand and suddenly a Starbucks cup appeared.

Andy gawked.

“It’s not like on television,” Miranda continued. “We don’t get up to hilarious mischief. We like to keep a pretty low profile.”

“You’ve been making me do Starbucks runs all this time and you can just poof your lattes into existence?” Andy demanded.

Miranda grinned. “That’s part of the low profile.”

“Well,” Andy draped her arms around Miranda’s shoulders. “I love you anyway.”

“Good. I love you, too.”

**

Movie Fusion (Back to the Future) (100)
“Andrea, you made it.” Miranda announced as the brunette approached her eccentric boss. “Take out your cell phone. I need you to document this.”

Andy pulled out her iphone. “What is ‘this?’ What is with this car? Where’s your Mercedes?”

“Great scott, Andrea. This is a Delorean.” Miranda patted the hood, “it’s the only car with the exactly right specifications that make the whole thing possible.”

“Make what possible?”

Miranda grinned. “Time travel, Andrea.”

Andy lowered the iphone. “Alright, you got me.”

“Camera up, Andrea. It’s about to get good.” Miranda opened the driver’s side door. “Allons-y, Patricia. Test drive.”

**

Sex Workers (100)
Andy stopped in her tracks when she saw the silver haired woman in the extravagant dress with the gold trim, layers of fringe and nude fishnets.

The woman took a long drag on her cigarette holder and blew out the smoke slowly. “Not expecting a woman?”

“Not expecting such a beautiful one.” Andy admitted. “I-I’m Andy.”

“Short for?”

“Um, for Andrea.”

Ahn-drea.” Miranda repeated.

“You make my name sound so beautiful…” Andy said bashfully, lowering herself to her knees in front of the older woman. “What should I call you?”

“Miranda.”

“Miranda…” Andy smiled, sliding her hands under Miranda’s dress.

**

Space (100)
“Is her highness on the bridge?” Nigel asked, finding Emily.

“Yes, but I wouldn’t recommend going in there. She’s in a mood.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

Miranda’s back was to him when he entered. He cleared his throat; she looked up from the photograph of Andy she was holding. Her eyes watery, she gave him a sneer with only melancholy behind it.

“We all left someone important behind.” Nigel said gently.

You didn’t leave a pregnant wife to go on what was promised to be a routine mission.”

“If anyone can get us home, it’s you, MP. And she’ll wait.”

**

Spy/Espionage (100)
“Unbelievable…” Miranda sinks down onto the bed. After all these years…

“Did you say something, my love?” Andy calls from the bathroom.

“Nothing…” She mumbles distractedly.

She was born here, for christ’s sake! The cold war ended ages ago! Her parents had told her when she was young about mother Russia but… now they want her? Russia wants to activate her? What does that even mean? Not a chance. No one tells Miranda Priestly what to do.

Unbelievable.” Miranda says again. What’s a good country to disappear to? “Darling?”

“Yeah?” Andy answers.

“What do you think of going to Malta?”

**

Steampunk (250)
“Where are the corsets for this dress?” Miranda demanded, “why is no one ready?”

“Here.” Leslie presented two, “it’s a tough call. They’re so different.”

“Hmm.” Miranda pondered. Andy chuckled under her breath as she took notes on her pad.

“Something funny?” Miranda narrowed her eyes menacingly.

“No…” Andy’s smile faded quickly. “It’s just those corsets look exactly the same to me. You know, I’m still learning about this stuff.”

“This stuff.” Miranda sneered. “You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and select that worn lace blouse. You take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. It’s not brown, or copper. It’s bronze. You don’t know that in 2002 Arabella Langridge debuted a line of bronze jackets, then it was Harcourt Bray, I think, who showed a line of bronze Rockabilly dresses. Then bronze showed up in eight different collections. It then trickled down into some grungy open air market where you, undoubtedly, haggled down to a pittance.”

Miranda turned to Leslie. “I think the herringbone.”

Leslie nodded agreeably.

Miranda turned back to the now terrified Andy, returning her critical eye to the formless lace blouse and velvet skirt that Andy wished would just vanish from the face of the earth.

“It’s sort of comical that you think you made a choice- that that exempts you from the fashion industry- when, in fact, you’re wearing an outfit that was selected for you by the people in this room.”

**

TV Show Fusion (Blindspot) (250)
“What’dya got, Patterson?” Kurt asked.

“I cracked the starscape tattoo. At first I was stumped because it doesn’t match up with any constellations, but then I noticed that the stars were grouped. When you assign them numerical values based on the number of stars per group you get two phone numbers.”

“Do we know who they belong to?” Jane interjected.

“We do.” Patterson pulled up two headshots. “Miranda Priestly, editor-in-Chief of Runway Magazine and Andrea Sachs, journalist with a small-time newspaper and Miranda Priestly’s former assistant.”

“Any hints that they’re involved in anything illegal?” Zapata frowned.

“Not really…” Patterson shrugged, “I mean, adultery laws aren’t really arrestable offences anymore, right?”

“They’re having an affair?”

“I think it’s a fairly logical conclusion.” Patterson responded to Reade, pulling up phone records with dozens of highlighted entries per page. “They’re careful not to exchange text messages but they call each other at all hours of the day and the calls range anywhere from a couple minutes to a couple hours. The calls started five years ago.”

“Wait a minute, didn’t Miranda Priestly marry Salvatore ‘The Reaper’ Falasca in 2009?”

Everyone turned to Zapata in surprise.

“What?” She shrugged defensively. “I like fashion and Mob trivia.”

“Point goes to Zapata because yes. Miranda Priestly is married to one of the gnarliest mobsters in the city.” She pulled up an article from Page Six. “And they’re throwing an anniversary party this weekend in the Hamptons.”

“Guess we’re going to the Hamptons.” Kurt turned to Jane.