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Erotomania

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He knew that what he did was risky and impulsive, but Sangwoo couldn't find it in himself to care. He couldn't let this opportunity go to waste. So, donned in dark glasses and a cap that would conceal his distinctive light brown hair, Sangwoo approached Bum. Initially, Sangwoo intended to only grope Bum over his clothes, but soon, he found himself forgetting his inhibitions as he was caught up in the ecstasy of being so close to the man he’d been in love with for years.

Yet, for some reason, Bum didn't to feel the same. Sangwoo felt sobs wrack Bum’s scrawny frame, and tried to keep his irritation at bay as he continued to pleasure his lover, tried to express how much he needed him. Soon, Sangwoo thought, they could be doing this and so much more in the privacy of his, no, their home. But for now, he'd take their relationship slowly; Bum obviously wasn't ready for something like that.

“I’ll see you later, Bum. I’m looking forward to fucking you senseless,” was his farewell as Bum rushed away, out his of his grasp.

Sangwoo sighed. Someday, Bum would understand.

 

 

“I-I think I want to try the medication after all.”

Dr. Kim lifted a fine brow.

“That’s good Bum. What’s changed?”

“Well-” He hesitated, before finding his voice again. “I never told you, b-but I’ve been having nightmares.”

“Nightmares?” Dr. Kim asked as she wrote something down on her clipboard. “About what?”

“My uncle.”

“You did say something before about the abuse,” she remarked.

“It wasn’t just beatings. My uncle would, he would-”

“Did your uncle rape you, Bum?” she asked as gently as she could.

Bum nodded.

“And,” he continued. “There was an incident on the train.”

“Go on.”

“Someone molested me. And he knew my name.”

Dr. Kim ceased her note taking.

“Do you know who he is?”

“No,” he replied in little more than a whisper. “And I would have called the police, but I didn’t see his face. And they wouldn’t help anyway. I tried once with my uncle.”

“I won’t make you do anything Bum, but I want you to stay safe,” she said. She handed him a note with the names of his medications and where to get them from, and then they parted ways.

Later, Bum found himself at a pharmacy near his apartment, listening to the very specific instructions of the pharmacist. Or trying to. He’d been unable to focus for the past few days after the incident on the train, hoping that he and his molester wouldn’t ever meet again.

In fact, he had been so stressed that he had bumped into a young man on his way out.

“Excuse me,” Bum said.

“It’s no problem!” the man said.

He looked familiar. He was about a head taller than Bum, with light brown hair, and seemed to be built like a wall. He could have been the star of a drama, with his striking looks. Bum probably knew him from university. He seemed like the popular type. He would try to piece together the puzzle later in the safety of his home.

He rushed out the door, missing the way the man’s eyes lingered on his form more than necessary.

 

 

The thought of killing Bum had passed through Sanwoo’s mind more than once. The earliest recollection of this was right after he had met Bum in university, when their eyes met for the first time. The connection he felt was something he’d never felt before and it awakened feelings so intense and primal that Sangwoo was almost terrified. It was similar to how he felt when he had the urge to kill, he noticed, but he didn’t want to hurt Bum. No, he’d probably smother him in his sleep or inject him with some kind of drug, which were so unlike his violent methods of killing. It would be comparable to lulling a child to sleep. Bum might struggle at first, but Sangwoo would be so gentle, would wipe the man’s tears from his eyes as Bum slowly slipped away, never to suffer ever again.

But then, Sangwoo’s infatuation became even deeper, to the point that it was all consuming, and he found that life without Bum would be totally unbearable. He’d probably kill himself if he ever lost him. So, he settled for the next best thing: getting rid of the source of Bum’s unhappiness.

That’s how he found himself sitting in a seedy bar, rejecting the attentions of various male admirers. He watched as the minutes ticked by, frustration slowly building within him. Where the fuck is he, Sangwoo thought. Bum’s uncle usually frequented this gay bar to, what Sangwoo assumed, have short flings after Bum had moved out. Sangwoo assumed he was sexually frustrated. After all, the man had taken out all of his filthy desires on his nephew. He’d found out after he followed Bum home one day and watched in complete horror as Bum was brutally assaulted by someone who was supposed to take care of him. Afterwards, he’d felt so ashamed of himself for not doing anything and vowed to himself that he’d rid Bum of the filthy leech that was his uncle. Sangwoo would take much pleasure in being the cause of his slow death.

Speak of the Devil, he thought as Bum’s uncle sauntered into the club, acting like he owned the place. He turned and took sips from his drink, ready to enact his plan.
Sangwoo watched from the corner of his eye as the man took a seat a few feet away from him, yelling for the bartender to get him a drink. A stench so overwhelming emanated from him that it felt almost like a punch in the face and suggested that the man was already drunk. Getting the man to his home would be so easy that Sangwoo nearly laughed. And, Sangwoo would have had to approach him, but Bum’s uncle did that for him too. It was like he had fallen right into Sangwoo’s trap even though he hadn’t done a thing. The man was just asking to be murdered.

“Hey baby, how about I show you a good time,” the man said, feeling Sangwoo’s muscles through his shirt.

“Sure,” he replied as seductively as possible, which was fairly difficult due to the bile that was rising in his throat. “Wanna go to my place?”

That’s how he found himself in his basement with a drunk man fondling him, blissfully unaware of the danger he was in.

“Sit there.” Sangwoo pointed to a chair next to the basement stairs, and the man complied as Sangwoo stripped him and fastened his arms and legs to it.

“Kinky one, aren’t you?” the man said as he gave a lecherous grin.

“Yeah.”

Sangwoo grabbed a freshly sharpened knife from a nearby table, brandishing it like a toy. Bum’s uncle seemed to sober up a little bit at the sight of it.

“H-hey, what’s with the knife?”

“Do you know why you’re here?” Sangwoo asked.

“We were going to fuck!”

Sangwoo laughed, full of malice.

“I’d never fuck a dirty pig like you.”

The man struggled against his bindings, like he wanted punch Sangwoo. Instead, he settled for spitting in his face instead. Sangwoo reciprocated with a hard smack on the side of the man’s head.

“It’s almost like you forgot that you’re the prisoner here,” Sangwoo said, bringing the knife up to his captive’s face and making a shallow cut.

“So,” he continued. “Maybe you should shut the fuck up.”

“Fuck you!”

Sangwoo sighed.

“Still being mouthy? Fine.”

Sangwoo slashed a slightly deeper cut across the man’s chest and reveled in his pained howl.

“Shut up or I’ll gag you,” he said.

“You psycho bastard! Let me go!”

“No,” Sangwoo replied, feeling giddy. “We’re going to have a lot of fun the next few days! You’ll see!”

“Well, I am, at least.”

Before Sangwoo went back upstairs, he made sure to gag the man’s mouth. He didn’t want him to be a nuisance.

“Goodnight,” he called, before leaving his captive in total darkness.