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RUBY RED…

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Not happy with who I am or how I look
I change myself far too much
I cut my hair and dye it too
Pink, red, orange and blue
A rainbow of colours, though I’m still not there
So I try again, but leave the hair
Clothes this time, lets try that
A frock, a skirt, a top, a hat
Not bright enough, or far too bold
No, not that, not quite there
So I ink my skin
With pinks and browns and yellows and blacks
Once, twice, thrice and more
With ink and needles, my skin so sore
But pain is beauty I once was told
So I grit my teeth and clench my fists
And wonder what is the point
The pain, the tears and sleepless nights
Cuts run deep and fears bleed out
Ruby red and drained of life
With what ifs and maybes and sometimes mights
My head aches as my heart breaks
Tears in my eyes and a hole in my chest
Stumbling into new nightmares
Whilst I try to forget the rest
Again I’m told time will heal
But time doesn’t know just how I feel
I try a brave face, if only for a while
I wipe my eyes and I try to smile…