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Meme Dream Team [99+ notifications]

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>Meme Dream Team

Members: hanger tooru, Turnip, yahabinch, bye felicia, leggy, Angel, Kuni, Iwaizumi Hajime

 

23.23

[Oikawa Tooru added Kyoutani Kentarou]

[Oikawa Tooru set Kyoutani Kentarou’s nickname as kyouken]

hanger tooru
Kyouken!!!!

Kyouken
No
what is this

hanger tooru
a team group chat <3

[Kyoutani Kentarou has left the group]

hanger tooru
that went well

Yahabinch
Don’t worry I’ve got it

[Yahaba Shigeru added Kyoutani Kentarou]

Yahabinch
Do you wanna be back in the team or not, asshole

Kyouken
oh great you’re here too
bye

leggy
ho don’t do it

[Kyoutani Kentarou has left the group]

bye felicia:
oh my god

Iwaizumi Hajime added Kyoutani Kentarou

Iwaizumi Hajime
this is a chat for organising team meetings, discussing strategies and general team related questions
you don’t have to stay but it would make being on the team a lot easier

bye felicia
ah yes that’s our iwa
connecting with the youth

Kyouken
… ok

bye felicia
iT wOrkEd

[Hanamaki Takahiro set Iwaizumi Hajime’s nickname as miracle boy]

leggy
isnt that what ushi’s middle blocker calls him

hanger tooru
ew gross

Turnip
I think it’s kinda nice

bye felicia
shut up freshman

Turnip
:(

miracle boy
anyway this has to go

[Iwaizumi Hajime cleared his nickname]

Kyouken
wait you can do that?

[Kyoutani Kentarou cleared his nickname]

[Hanamaki Takahiro set Kyoutani Kentarou’s nickname to Mad Dog]

bye felicia
it’s englsih

leggy
englsih

Yahabinch
Englsih

Kuni
englsih

Iwazumi Hajime
englsih

hanger tooru
englsih

Turnip
englsih

Angel
englsih

Mad Dog
what

 

23.36

Mad Dog
and i know it’s english im not stupid

Yahabinch
Are you sure

Mad Dog
fuck off

Mad Dog
im not talking to u

Yahabinch
*you

bye felicia
holy shit yahaba tone down the salt
and the gramma ur giving me a headache

Iwaizumi Hajime
how about you go to sleep then

bye felicia
um no

bye felicia
its not even midnight who are u
sleep is for the weak

hanger tooru
tbh

Iwaizumi Hajime
we have a game tomorrow??

hanger tooru
all the better reason to stay up
someone has gotta get their stats
we don’t have a manager like everyone else so????
its iwa’s fault he scares them away

Iwaizumi Hajime
fuck off and go to bed

hanger tooru
oooh someones touchy

Iwaizumi Hajime
go. now.

hanger tooru

okay byeeeee xxxxx

 

3.55
hanger tooru
The UFOs have finally cum send this to 10 alien daddys if you get none  back  you a lonely galactic hoe get five back you a Super Star Slut get 10 back!! you a super space freak  happy fucking get that alien cock

Iwaizumi Hajime
GO TO BED I HATE YOU

Kindaichi Yuutarou > All Contacts
The UFOs have finally cum send this to 10 alien daddys if you get none  back  you a lonely galactic hoe get five back you a Super Star Slut get 10 back!! you a super space freak  happy fucking get that alien cock

Kunimi Akira > Kindaichi Yuutarou
I hate u why

Kageyama Tobio > Kindaichi Yuutarou
… um. thanks ?

 

>Meme Dream Team

4.15
Turnip
g UYS I HAVE MADE  MISTKES

Kuni
Suffer

 

12.40
bye felicia
okay guys I need a second opinion on this

bye felicia
what’s better, ramen or dick
discuss

hanger tooru
i’m a vegan

bye felicia
literally no one asked, oikawa

leggy
so if ur vegan does that mean u prefer ramen or dick

bye felicia
well if its dick then he isnt a very good vegan

hanger tooru
Um, xcuse

hanger tooru
it’s fine as long as i dont swallow
which i make a point of not doing, sO

Angel
can you guys please stop making this chat so embarrassing to open in public

yahabinch
Yeah, aren’t you all having lunch together anyway? Why do we need to have this discussion on here

Angel
not keen on learning abt oikawa’s dick sucking technique

leggy
yeah guys let’s keep this chat safe for watari

bye felicia
but its never safe for watari
its nsfw (not safe for watari)

leggy
boi

[Matsukawa Issei renamed the chat NSFW (Not Safe For Watari)]

Angel
im too ace for this

Mad Dog
i thought u said this was a chat for talking abt team strategies

bye felicia
oikawa sucking dick IS part of our team strategy, didnt u know

Mad Dog
he cant be very good at it then
since he’s never been to nationals

leggy
HOOOOOLY SHIT

bye felicia
DRAGGED

Iwaizumi Hajime
I can’t believe I just watched oikawa get murdered
In cold blood

Kuni
rest in fucking pieces

hanger tooru
i can’t believe you would do this to me kyouken

yahabinch
[….]

Angel
oh my god yahaba doesn’t know what side to take so he’s typing furiously
he wants to tell kyoutani off but he’s laughing

yahabinch
Noo
Oikawa I just wanted you to know that he shouldn’t have disrespected you like that

hanger tooru
thank u yahaba i knew u weren’t a fake friend
like these losers over here
Who are STILL laughing

leggy
Lmaooooooooo get rekt
but anyway oiks ramen is better than dick get over it

hanger tooru
fuck off mattsun
that’s it im finding better friends

bye felicia
bye felicia

 

4.20

leggy
420 blaze it

bye felicia
ayyy lmao

leggy
ayyyyyy lmao

bye felicia
ayyyyyyyyy lmao

leggy
ayyyyyyyyyyyy lmao

bye felicia
ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lmao

Iwaizumi Hajime
we are at practice
stop

leggy
Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lmao

Cut for length

5.05
hanger tooru
kindaichi can u pls take kunimi home safe he’s asleep on the bench

hanger tooru
I wanna stay and practice my serves and if he gets hit in the head by one of them and dies ill never forgive myself

Turnip
Dont worry!!! I’ll go get him now
He had a very late night so he’s tired

Iwaizumi Hajime
why, what was he doing?

Turnip
I’m not sure, just not sleeping
I get worried sometimes :(

Iwaizumi Hajime
well it’s good that you’re looking after him anyway

Turnip
Thanks!!!!!

bye felicia
anyway kindaichi isnt it time for ur daily nickname

Turnip
Oh no

[Hanamaki Takahiro changed Kindaichi Yuutarou’s nickname to noodle]

hanger tooru
but arent we only doing vegetable names
noodles arent vegetables

bye felicia
shut up u vegan

leggy
noodles can be anything they want to be

noodle
Okay…. I’m going home with Kunimi now, bye everyone!!

Angel
Bye!!! See you tomorrow!!

hanger tooru
byeeeee
good practice today guys!!!

leggy
yup

yahabinch
Kyoutani actually came to two practices in a row, It’s a miracle

Iwaizumi Hajime
Get some good sleep tonight everyone, semis are only a few days away

hanger tooru
nationals are so close i can almost taste them

leggy
do they taste like dick

hanger tooru
the next person who mentions dick is getting kicked out the chat

bye felicia
wang

leggy
weiner

bye felicia
ding dong

leggy
Lil oiks

hanger tooru
sTOP

Chapter Text

9.14
Kuni
school sucks
i want out

bye felicia
omg kunimi did u just message the chat for smth else other than dragging ppl

Kuni
nvmd this was a bad idea

leggy
just drop out. do it
live fast die young

Iwaizumi Hajime
you guys are the worst upperclassmen ever

leggy
love being an enabler

Iwaizumi Hajime
anyway kunimi, why does school suck

Kuni
idk
im just tired all the time
cant concentrate and it sucks

Iwaizumi Hajime
what time did you get to sleep last night?

Kuni
idk like 4 ish
i slept at practice tho

Iwaizumi Hajime
maybe you should talk to oikawa about insomnia
actually no i take it back that’s a bad idea
he makes no effort to sleep either

Kuni
ehhhhh

leggy
anyway ur 15 right
lots of ppl have dropped out at 15

Kuni
like who

leggy
Obama, Bill Gates, Stephan Jobs, Barack Obama, ghengis Khan, Napoleon, Napoleon the movie one, santa, Jesus Christ, and clint eastwood

Kuni
that says obama twice

leggy
no obama and barack obama are two different people

bye felicia
i went to school with jesus can confirm he dropped out at 15

Kuni
also isnt it steve jobs

leggy
nope its Stephan jobs ??
who is “steve” jobs
sounds fake

Kuni
u sound fake

leggy
kunimi,,,,,,u wound me,,,,,

Mad Dog
u shouldnt drop out
education is important

leggy
what

bye felicia
wow plot twist

Mad Dog
oi

yahabinch
But Kyoutani, you can’t really talk, you’re currently sitting in class with your earphones in

Mad Dog
im not listening to music
i do pay attention in class, asshole
i just dont like ppl trying to talk to me


leggy
Im so glad we added u to the gc
u learn smth new every day

bye felicia
yea mad dog ur such a mystery

Mad Dog
case in point


Kuni
do u think i should try that
the headphones thing

Mad Dog
the teacher might get mad but ur classmates will ignore u

Kuni
cool

Iwaizumi Hajime
and stop messaging in class, all of u

bye felicia
Ughghhhghghghghghghh
FINE

 

4.56
Angel
this is a callout post for oikawa
For WEARING A BINDER DURING PRACTICE

hanger tooru
Literally f u watachi leaf me alone

Angel
I know sports bras suck bUt ITS BAD DONT DO IT

hanger tooru
try and stop me binch

Angel
@iwaizumi

Iwaizumi Hajime
oikawa take it off right now
I’m heading over there

hanger tooru
nO

Iwaizumi Hajime
Jkyxkffghfh

bye felicia
holy moly did yall see that
oikawa just demon served into iwazumi’s fuckxing face
thats gotta hurt

hanger tooru
no one pani c i’m taking him to the med bay

Angel
take ur binder off while ur at it

hanger tooru
frick u watachi
but fine

 

5.00
hanger tooru
it’s a sad day,,,, we lost our dear teammate iwa

Iwaizumi Hajime
STOP TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD

hanger tooru
sometimes can still hear his voice

Yahabinch
That’s another point to Oikawa on the meme scoreboard

leggy
oh my god

hanger tooru
HA
I hope you’re all ready to buy me ramen when i win

bye felicia
i can’t believe u actually think ur gonna win this thing
Like,,, u can’t outmeme me
Who do u think u r

Yahabinch
Actually yeah, Oikawa is actually behind all the other third years at the moment

hanger tooru
you don’t mean to say
Iwa is out mememing me
bUT HE”S AN OLD MAN

Kuni
rekt

Yahabinch
Kindaichi is currently coming last

noodle
:(
This isn’t fair
I don’t even know what a meme is

bye felicia
nobody tell him

noodle
:((

leggy
Its a biology thing

Angel
explain

leggy
Richard Dawkins defined the meme as a unit of cultural transmission, or as a unit of imitation or replication, but other definitions may vary.

noodle
I still don’t get it?

Mad Dog
I cant believe we have a meme scoreboard

Yahabinch
Oh yes, I need to add you to that
You are dead last, you’re even behind meme-illiterate Kindaichi


Mad Dog
are you participating in this dumb contest

Yahabinch
Yes, but I mainly keep score

Mad Dog
I’m gonna kick ur ass

Yahabinch
Bring it
Have fun crawling up from rock bottom

Kuni
what is happening here

Angel
no shush they’re connecting

Mad Dog
fuck off

Yahabinch
Fuck off
Hey wait, you can’t tell Watari to fuck off, what the fuck

Mad Dog
what the fuck what

Angel
um guys
can u stop glaring at each other from different sides of the gym

Yahabinch
I’ll stop if he stops

Mad Dog
buy my silence
$8000 a month

Yahabinch
FUCK

Mad Dog
ur ass is gonna get beat

Kuni
stop this im too young and innocent

Angel
UM


hanger tooru
guys i leave for like 5 minutes
and now i hear my team is falling apart

Kuni
it’s because Iwaizumi isnt here

hanger tooru
okAY WOW
that’s it im coming back

Kuni
aw


hanger tooru
kunimi you’re on clean up tonight

leggy
ur absuing ur power as captain

bye felicia
absuing

leggy
babe no

 

7.47
leggy
i almost forgot

Matsukawa Issei changed Kindaichi Yuutarou’s nickname to Shallot

Shallot
didn’t karasuno’s number 10 call me that once

leggy
im running out of original ideas here kid

 

10.02
Shallot
What if we talked to people like we talked to dogs

leggy
ur a good boy

Kuni
kinky

Iwaizumi Hajime
it’s too early for this

bye felicia
@kunimi stop leave it for the experts

Kuni
i can kinkshame if i want hanamaki ur not the boss of me

bye felicia
how is that kinkshaming u made it kinky

Kuni
didnt know there was a protocol

bye felicia
well now u know
there is a three strike policy and then the kink police take u to kink jail

leggy
In handcuffs?

bye felicia
F off

Iwaizumi Hajime
actually if we are talking abt kinks i have a contribution

bye felicia
Holy Shit on a Stick never thought i would see you write that sentence

leggy
spill the beans
what are u into

Iwaizumi Hajime
not me

Shallot
:(

Iwaizumi Hajime
oikawa

leggy
s pi l l

Iwaizumi Hajime
so oikawa was watching ice age with his cousin takeru right

Angel
oh boy

Iwaizumi Hajime
and he told me “the alpha sabre tooth tiger is thicc”

bye felicia
I cant believe oikawa is a fucking furry

hanger tooru
IWA WTF
WHY WOULD U SHARE THAT

Iwaizumi Hajime
you need to face consequences for ur actions

hanger tooru
but u gotta admit
they are beefed


Iwaizumi Hajime
no?????

hanger tooru
they make a point of zooming in on their hind quarters when they walk

Iwaizumi Hajime
stop being a furry??????

hanger tooru
diego can get it

Iwaizumi Hajime
THTAS IT UR LEAVING

[Iwaizumi Hajime has removed Oikawa Tooru from the group]

Shallot
I don’t get it what’s a furry?

bye felicia
u know, like nya

Shallot
What are u talking abotut

bye felicia
Nya

Iwaizumi Hajime
stop

Yahabinch
You know, if you think about it, Ice Age is actually a heartwarming story about 3 gay polyamorous men who adopt a child
Gay dads

leggy
whoa ur right
manny is a dilf

Iwaizumi Hajime
oh my god dont make me remove you too


bye felicia
didnt know u had a daddy kink mattsun :^)

Kuni
half this goddamn chat has a daddy kink

bye felicia
where did u come from kunimi
why do u only show up when someone needs to be dragged

Kuni
im here to name and shame

Shallot
GUYS WHATS A FURRY
And a dilf actually whats a dilf

leggy
iwaizumi’s a dilf

bye felicia
can confirm

[Hanamaki Takahiro changed Iwaizumi Hajime’s nickname to D.I.L.F]

D.I.L.F
leave me out of this u nasty fuckers

[Iwaizumi Hajime cleared his nickname]

Iwaizui Hajime
If u pull that kinda stunt again ur headed for an ass kicking

bye felicia
ur too powerful

Iwaizumi Hajime
damn right

bye felicia
thats what i like to see in a dilf
Authority

Angel
yall need Jesus

bye felicia
got him

[Hanamaki Takahiro set his nickname to daddy jesus]

[Iwaizumi Hajime removed Hanamaki Takahiro from the group]

[Iwaizumi Hajime left the group]


leggy
bye felicia


Angel
matsukawa ur the only 3rd year in the group left how does it make u feel

leggy
Im so alone
theres no one here beside me
all on my own
theres no one else beshind me
bUT YOU GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS

Yahabinch
Did you just quote shrek at us

leggy
you see if hanamaki was here he would’ve replied with “DONKEY. STOP> SINGING.”

Angel
thank god he’s not here then

leggy
Actually sorry watari ive gotta add him back we have a blood pact

Angel
u have a wHAT

[Matsukawa Issei added Hanamaki Takahiro to the group]

bye felicia
babe,,,, i knew u would honour our pact

leggy
anything for u babe

Yahabinch
Do I want to know

leggy
:^)

bye felicia
:^)

leggy
:^^)

bye felicia
:^^^)

leggy
:^^^^)

bye felicia
:^^^^^^)

 

[Cut for length]

 

8.30
Angel
thATS IT IM BRINGING IWAIZUMI BACK

[Watari Shinji added Iwaizumi Hajime]

Kuni
youre in trouble now

Iwaizumi Hajime
why the fuck are you all like this


9.00
Oikawa Tooru > Yahaba Shigeru
shige u gotta add me back to the chat i need to say something petty

Yahaba Shigeru > Oikawa Tooru
As long as you promise not to say anything furry-ish
Kindaichi is very young and impressionable

Oikawa Tooru > Yahaba Shigeru
see i knew you’ll be a great captain

 

9.02
Yahaba Shigeru > Watari Shinji
aaaaaaAAAAAAAaaAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Watari Shinji > Yahaba Shigeru
same

Chapter Text

10.16
leggy
are you all thinking what im thinking

bye felicia
yup

Iwaizumi Hajime
no

hanger tooru
absolutely

Angel
potentially

Shallot
Maybe?

Mad Dog
i don’t care

Kuni
who knows

Yahabinch
Hopefully not

Angel
what does that mean yahaba????

bye felicia
everyone knows yahaba is a nasty fucker watari do u rly want to know what he’s thinking

Angel
that’s fair

Yahabinch
No, it’s not!!

leggy
Were you or were you not jacking it

Yahabinch
I was not!!!!!!!

Angel
his punctuation went out the window it must be true

Yahabinch
What kind of best friend are you??????
Your nickname is misleading and false
Like you you’re a fake friend

Angel
I can be your angle or yuor devil

leggy
wow nice one

Yahabinch
One meme scoreboard point to FAKE FRIEND WATARI

bye felicia
so
what were u jacking it to yahababe

leggy
yeah yababoo
it better be me

bye felicia
no me im hotter

leggy
exCUSE ME everyone knows im the hot one

hanger tooru
sorry to interrupt but its common knowledge backed up by evidence that im the hot one i mean come on

Iwaizumi Hajime
bitch where

hanger tooru
Volleyball monthly??????????

Iwaizumi Hajime
fake news

Angel
I mean its possible that it was too oikawa but i reckon it was to someone else

Yahabinch
Watari i'm never goning to speak to you again

hanger tooru
WATACCHI SPILL

bye felicia
spill! the! Tea!

leggy
Whooooooooooo

Yahabinch
Watari no!!!!

Mad Dog
can guys just lay off
youre blowing up my phone ffs

bye felicia
arent u curious mad dog

Mad Dog
no
fuck off

bye felicia
fine fine

 

10.20
Watari Shinji > Yahaba Shigeru
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yahaba Shigeru
Can you fuck off

Watari Shinji
he covered for u ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yahaba Shigeru
No he didn’t he just doesn’t care about this chat
He doesn’t give a fuck about any of us and what we are working towards it’s so annoying

Watari Shinji
sounds like u have a lot of pent up frustration there ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yahaba Shigeru
If it wasn’t for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you

Watari Shinji
the meme scoreboard only counts for the gc bro

Yahaba Shigeru
It was still satisfying
And I’m winning out of the second years anyway

Watari Shinji
hey shig

Yahaba Shigeru
Yeah?

Watari Shinji
dont you think you might be a little too aggressive towards kyoutani
i mean i know you’re thirsting after him and everything

Yahaba Shigeru
I’m NOT

Watari Shinji
but since ur gonna be future captain and all dont you think you should at least be yanno
trying to make peace with our teammates so you can be a good leader

Yahaba Shigeru
Oh my god watari don’t pull the responsibility card on me
Please don’t

Watari Shinji
yeah okay but please think abt it

Yahaba Shigeru
Ugh

Watari Shinji
Then the next step is trying to sort out if u want to bang him or not

Yahaba Shigeru
I DON’T

Watari Shinji
come on shig the last time you got so worked up over someone was when you met that shiratorizawa setter and you ended up making out in a shower stall

Yahaba Shigeru
…. I thought we agreed we were never going to mention Shitabu again

Watari Shinji
I have receipts buddy,,, I have receipts

Yahaba Shigeru
Again, why am I friends with you

Watari Shinji
love u too boo

 

10.23
leggy > NSFW (Not Safe For Watari)
SO WHO WANTS TO KNOW WHAT I WAS ORIGINALLY THINKING BC IT WAS A GREAT IDEA

Iwaizumi Hajime
okay hit us

leggy
MOVIE NIGHT

bye felicia
MOVIE NIGHT MOVIE NIGHT

leggy
MOVIE NGIHT MOVIE NGIGHT MOVIE NGINGBNGG

hanger tooru
omg im in

Angel
keen!!

Iwaizumi Hajime
wait. What movie are we wacthing
If it’s the bee movie again

leggy
my dear friend iwa
we are wacthing nothing but the the greatest
most iconic
worst movie of all time
gimme a drum roll

Iwaizumi Hajime
Oh god

bye felicia
rbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrb

leggy
…………….. THE ROOM

Iwaizumi Hajime
NO

leggy
youre tearing me apart lisa

Shallot
What’s the room????

hanger tooru
It’s the worse film ever made in cinematic history

bye felicia
a real masterpiece
tommy wiseau is a man of genius 
he produced, directed and starred in it and had his face up on this billboard for like years to promote it
it was called 'the evil man'

leggy
and i have it up on rabbit rn who’s in say aye

bye felicia
aye

hanger tooru
aye

Angel
aye

Shallot
Aye?

Yahabinch
Aye

Kuni
aye i guess

Iwaizumi Hajime
….. Ugh fine
Aye

hanger tooru
YES
And @kyouken????

Mad Dog
can i not

Iwaizumi Hajime
kyoutani, if I have to suffer so do we all

Mad Dog
…. aye

leggy
okay then guys and gals and nonbinary pals
Ill send u the link let’s rock and roll

 

Chapter Text

10.30
Rabbit > Matsukawa’s Room

Matsukawa
my wifi is too slow to do the video call sorry dudes
chat only

Oikawa
that’s fair
ha i’m loving the extremely generic shots of san fran
how riveting

Iwaizumi
the movie hasnt even started and ur already tearing it to shreds

Oikawa
hey i gotta build up to this
oH MY GOD THERE”S LISA

Hanamaki
HEY BABE

Matsukawa
HEY BABE

Iwaizumi
I can’t believe this why does he speak like that

Yahaba
Who is the random kid who just came in??? Their adopted son???? Their stray kid who just turns up to their apartment when he wants to see a live porno???

Yahaba
DID HE JUST ASK TO JOIN IN ON THEIR VERY OBVIOUS SEXUAL INTENTIONS I HATE THIS
WHAT IS HE LIKE 12

Watari
oh my god we aren’t even 5 minutes in

Kunimi
the part where lisa and johnny start to make out when denny is still in the room is very relatable

Hanamaki
now what could u possibly mean by that

Oikawa
WAIT KUNIMI AND KINDAICHI U CANT WATCH THIS THEYRE ABT TO DO THE NASTY

Kindaichi
Okay ill cover my eyes!

Matsukawa
why are you so worried oikawa kunimi has probably seen a thousand sex scenes all with the most bored poker face ever witnessed

Kunimi
confirmed

Watari
oh my god

Yahaba
Oh my God

Hanamaki
is he fucking her belly button????

Watari
THATS NOT WHERE A VAGINA IS U DICKSTICK

Iwaizumi
this is the most awkward thing i have ever seen

Oikawa
oh hhhh my god dd

Oikawa
“I enjoyed the sex last night” NO U DIDNT U FUCKIN LIAR

Matsukawa
this must be why she cheats on him with his best friend

Watari
Spoilers???????

Hanamaki
BUT HE’S YOUR BEST FRIEND

Matsukawa
exactly

Kindaichi
Is it safe to open my eyes now????

Iwaizumi
yes i think so
oH WAIT
NO
ASS ALERT

Oikawa
That is a side of tommy wiseau i never wanted to see ever in my life

Kindaichi
I’ll just keep my eyes closed for the entire movie

Hanamaki
no kindaichi don’t u think u should be paying attention?
this movie is a meme minefield
A meme goldmine

Yahaba
That’s true
Kindaichi, you’re still coming last on the meme scoreboard
You really don’t want to still be last with a score of 0 by the end of the year

Kindaichi
What?? Why not??

Yahaba
You’ll have to do the penalty

Kindaichi
What’s the penalty??????

Hanamki
death
the weak wasn’t ever meant to survive

Kindaichi
WHAT

Matsukawa
guess you better keep your eyes open kunimi

 

10.45
Kindaichi Yuutarou > Kageyama Tobio
KUNIMI YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT A MEME IS I’M GONNA DIE
THEY’RE GONNA KILL ME
HELP

Kageyama Tobio
uh. are you okay, kindaichi?
i don’t really know what a meme is, sorry.
are you going to be okay??

Kindaichi Yuutarou
SORRY I THOUGHT I WAS TEXTING KUNIMI
Wait you don’t know either????
And no i’m not i just found out that coming last on the meme scoreboard is punishable by death

Kageyama Tobio
what’s a meme scoreboard????????

Kindaichi Yuutarou
Everyt time you slip a meme into a conversation you get a point??? But i dont know what a meme is and they wont tell m e
Im gonna d i e

Kageyama Tobio
Okay hold up

 

Rabbit > Matsukawa’s Room

Hanamaki
SPOON

Matsukawa
SPOON

Oikawa
SPOON

Iwaizumi
What the fuck

 

10.58
Kageyama Tobio > Kindaichi Yuutarou
okay i asked the other first years
yamaguchi says if you watch this http://bit.ly/IqT6zt you’ll understand

Kindaichi Yuutarou
I dont but okay?????
That’s pretty catchy

Kageyama Tobio
tsukishima said http://bit.ly/2csM1zp that is a meme as well.
he said it’s when your best friend memes just right?

Kindaichi Yuutarou
How are those two things at all related i dont un d e r sta n d

Kageyama Tobio
i looked up memes and this came up
http://knowyourmeme.com/

Kindaichi Yuutarou
Oh my god there are so many
Which ones do you think are the best ones??

Kageyama Tobio
wait let me ask the rest of my team
uh this is what nishinoya sent

Kageyama Tobio
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.  
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!
Hang on a second.

 

[cut for length]

 

Kindaichi Yuutarou
I love that movie!!

Kageyama Tobio
i haven’t ever seen it.
but you should send that to your chat, it made daichi yell
and tanaka said it was a good meme

Kindaichi Yuutarou
It’s very heartwarming!
I will, thank you so much

 

23.32
Kindaichi Yuutarou > Meme Dream Team
According to all known laws
of aviation,

 
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.

 
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.

 
The bee, of course, flies anyway

 
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.

 
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

 
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.

 
Barry! Breakfast is ready!

 
Ooming!

 
Hang on a second.

 
Hello?

 
- Barry?
- Adam?

 
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.

 
Looking sharp.

 
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.

 
Sorry. I'm excited.

 
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.

 
A perfect report card, all B's.

 
Very proud.

 
Ma! I got a thing going here.

 
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!

 
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!

 
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!

 
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.

 
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.

 
Never thought I'd make it.

 
Three days grade school,
three days high school.

 
Those were awkward.

 
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

 
You did come back different.

 
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

 
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.

 
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.

 
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.

 
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.

 
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.

 
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.

 
That's why we don't need vacations.

 
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.

 
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!

 
- Bee-men.
- Amen!

 
Hallelujah!

 
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

 
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

 
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...

 
...9:15.

 
That concludes our ceremonies.

 
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!

 
Will we pick our job today?

 
I heard it's just orientation.

 
Heads up! Here we go.

 
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.

 
- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.

 
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco

 
and a part of the Hexagon Group.

 
This is it!

 
Wow.

 
Wow.

 
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life

 
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.

 
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.

 
Our top-secret formula

 
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

 
into this soothing sweet syrup

 
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...

 
Honey!

 
- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!

 
- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.

 
- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive

 

[Cut for length]

 

bye felicia
holy shit kindaichi
holy fucking shit

hanger tooru
KINDAICHI BB IM SO PROUD OF U
YOURE ALL GROWN UP

Yahabinch
That’s worth so many points on the meme scoreboard I can’t believe this

leggy
congratulations kindaichi
youre gonna live

Spring onion
IM GONNA LIVE

 

23.39
Kindaichi Yuutarou > Kageyama Tobio
YOU SAVED MY LIFE
THAKN YOU SO MUCH

Kageyama Tobio
you’re welcome i think?
happy to help
anytime
like at all
it’s not big deal
i mean i didnt want to see u die so

 

12.17
Rabbit > Matsukawa’s Room

Hanamaki
Oh ymg god its comign are you guys ready for this

Matsukawa
Ive been waiting for this moment my entire li fe

Oikawa
HERE IT IS
YOU’RE TEARING ME APART LISA

Hanamaki
YOUR TEARING ME APART LISA

Matsukawa
YOURE TEARING ME APART LISA

Watari
YOU’RE TEARING ME APART LISA

Iwaizumi
YOU’RE TEARING ME APART LISA

Yahaba
YOU’RE TEARING ME APART, LISA

Kindaichi
YOU’RE TEARING ME APART LISA

Kunimi
rip him to shreds lisa

Kyoutani
why did i ever come back to this team

Chapter Text

12.46 pm

hanger tooru
ok so like 14y/o tooru would probably hate me for saying this but like
I’d fuck one of the jonas brothers

Angel
same if i wasn't acespec
which one tho

Iwaizumi Hajime
so many things
you could have said

hanger tooru
the one from dnce lol

bye felicia
all? even if i was Straight i would fuck all

Kuni
ew

Angel
guys yahaba just saw that message and dabbed bc that’s what he does when hes  uncomfortable
Im just
this knowledge

leggy
defense mechanism

Angel
I cant handle it

hanger tooru
godbless??????

Angel
he’s trying to pass it off as a sneeze lmaoooooo

bye felicia
pics or it didnt happen

Angel
okay someone say smth that’ll make him uncomfrtable

leggy
uncomfrtable

Angel
frick off

Shallot
Barnacles have the largest dick to body ratio in the world

Iwaizumi Hajime
what the literal shit
how do you even know that????

Shallot
It's just one of those facts!!!! That people know!!!

Iwaizumi Hajime
no?????

Angel
that didnt work yahaba was just vaguely interested

Shallot
Yeah its cool right??

leggy
only to nerds

[Matsukawa Issei changed Kindaichi Yuutarou’s nickname to barnacle]

hanger tooru
oh come on people dont even eat barnacles at least i dont
as a vegan

Iwaizumi Hajime
ok.

bye felicia
okay how abt this
@yahaba me and mattsun are dating

Angel
didnt work he just rolled his eyes and said he wasnt falling for that

leggy
lmao
no homo right babe

bye felicia
no homo boo :*

Kuni
@yahaba everyone knows you check out kyoutani’s muscles during practice

Angel
[dab.png]

bye felicia
YES KUNIMI U DID IT
what a good quality dab

hanger tooru
I cant believe its actually true that yahaba dabs when he’s uncofmrotable

leggy
uncofmrotable

Angel
but hey kuni that wasnt rly that cool
I mean like

Mad Dog
what the literal shit

leggy
o hi mad dog
dont scroll up

Mad Dog
are you kidding me what the fuck

Kuni
um

Mad Dog
you guys are shitty you know that

Angel
no wait kyoutani  its alright

leggy
yeah kyouken its just some light banter
some good bants

[ Kyoutani Kentarou has left the group]

Yahabinch
Oh fuck oh fuck what did you guys DO

leggy
shit i didnt know he would like that
oh well just give him some time to cool off

Iwaizumi Hajime
Guys whats happened
Do i need to do damage control again because i stg

Angel
nah its okay iwaizumi i’ve got it

 

Watari Shinji > Kyoutani Kentarou
hey man are you alright? You just kind of stormed off and the team is a bit confused and worried

Kyoutani Kentarou
Im fine.

Watari Shinji
Suuuure
because it really doesn’t seem like ur fine
I’m not asking you to explain yourself i just like
Wanted to let you know that if you need to vent or smth im listening and im a pretty good listener

Kyoutani Kentarou

how do i know that i can trust you

Watari Shinji
what are you, an undercover agent

Kyoutani Kentarou
Idk i just dont want any messages screen shotted or anyone talking abt me idk

Watari Shinji
nah ofc you can trust me kyou you see me at practice like twice a day
I tutor you in maths sometimes
You’re my friend

Kyoutani Kentarou
I just dont like people talking abt me
and idk if the rest of the team sees me like that

Watari Shinji
you dont think the team dont see you as their friend?

Kyoutani Kentarou
ofc not
Im just a punchline for them
Its like… they added me to that dumb gc and im so out of the loop and im just a joke
I shouldnt have come back in the first place everyone hates me for barging my way back in anyway
especially yahaba
and idk people making weird jokes abt yahaba hates me just makes it worse bc it makes it weird and awkward as well as just… u know, him hating me
sorry i know he’s like yr best friend

Watari Shinji
so this is abt yahaba?


Kyoutani Kentarou
No
well
mb
its just
he acts like i dont put any effort into anything
and thats not true i put a shit ton of effort into things especially volleyball
like you know how i took a years break

Watari Shinji
yeah i remember

Kyoutani Kentarou
yeah well
I had a tough time being around ppl like that in first year
so i stopped coming to practices
but i kept up volleyball?? I did my own practice and shit???? With like adult teams??
and now yahaba and the team just kinda hate me bc they think i just waltzed on in
It pisses me off

Watari Shinji
Whoa kyou i had no idea

Kyoutani Kentarou
well yeah

Watari Shinji
but im gonna be frank here

Kyoutani Kentarou
Alright

Watari Shinji
they’re not the only ones at fault
You want to be respected? Even liked?

Kyoutani Kentarou
I never said that

Watari Shinji
Its just, mb you should make an effort to connect with the other team members as well
I know it must be hard
I mean, i dont know what happened in first year but

Kyoutani Kentarou
wait you dont know?

Watari Shinji
this is what i mean! you dont know anything abt us
Sorry i didnt mean that in like an aggressive way
but i wasnt in the team in first year
I wasnt even in the boys volleyball club

Kyoutani Kentarou
wait you weren’t? I just thought you were in a lower string or smth

Watari Shinji
nah i was in the girls team during first year

Kyoutani Kentarou
what?????

Watari Shinji
bro,,, how do you not know im trans you see me in my binder after practice every day
and i yell at oikawa about his like twice a day

Kyoutani Kentarou
idk??
i dont pay much attention to the team outside of volleyball

Watari Shinji
you pay attention to yahaba though

Kyoutani Kentarou
well that;s different

Watari Shinji
Is it?

Kyoutani Kentarou
dont push it, watari

Watari Shinji
okay back to my lifestory then

Kyoutani Kentarou
wait hold up if oikawa is trans too how come he was on the team from day 1 and you werent

Watari Shinji
well i only just realised i was trans in first year right
I used to be in a co-ed volleyball team in middle school and i was totally comfortable, but when i got to high school and they put me in an all girls team i was like…. This is not For Me
and i was soooo jealous of oikawa because he’s been out since middle school and he’s so good that when he asked to be in the boys team in seijou the coaches agreed right away
so i worked out that hey, if i get good enough the boys team would let me transfer
but the thing was i was a setter??? and there’s no way they would let me on the boys team as a setter because they already had oikawa
but what they didnt have was a good libero
so i spent the whole year training to be a libero
trialed for the boys team and got in

Kyoutani Kentarou
fuck, watari

Watari Shinji
so yeah, i get your struggles about coming in late and working hard to be here
and the team does appreciate you, i promise
they’re just a little weird so they have a weird way of showing it

Kyoutani Kentarou
they certainly do
but... thanks

Watari Shinji
anytime bro
(also whats the deal about yahaba)

Kyoutani Kentarou
(you’ll find out over my dead body)
(also, nothing)
(fuck off)

Watari Shinji
hahaha okay

 

Meme Dream Team

2.12

[Watari Shinji added Kyoutani Kentarou to the group]

 

Mad Dog
… hey

hanger tooru
Hey Kyoutani, on behalf of the entire team, we’re really sorry about using you to tease Yahaba like that, it wasn’t cool of us at all

Iwaizumi Hajime
you can tell he’s sincere bc he’s using proper grammar

Kuni
im really sorry kyoutani

leggy
yeah me too, sorry dude

Kyoutani Kentarou
s okay dont worry abt it
can we stop this now its getting weird

Iwaizumi Hajime
yeah no worries

Yahabinch
Aren’t you guys going to apologise to me too

Kuni
nah

leggy
nah

Angel
nah

hanger tooru
you’re too fun to tease, yahababe

leggy
you’re too fun in general yahaboo

bye felicia
meet me in the locker rooms after practice, yahababy <33333

Angel
[dab.png]

hanger tooru
HAHAHAHAHA

bye felicia
this never gets old

Chapter Text

9.34 pm

hanger tooru
did u guys know there’s over like 130k students signing up to be sugar babies rn

leggy
i did not in fact, know this very compelling fact
why pray tell have you informed us about this

hanger tooru
It’s interesting!!! the economy is in shambles!!!!!

Yahabinch
Let’s not
Shall we

bye felicia
every day
the urge to become a sugar baby
gets stronger

Angel
oh same but probably like a lowkey sugar baby
dabbling mainly in hand holding and cheek kissing

Iwaizumi Hajime
if being a prostitute wasn’t illegal i would honestly consider it like it’s good money and i can defend myself
Don’t rly care abt having sex for money being ‘immoral’

kuni
@watari i thought that said ‘dabbing’

Angel
AJDBKJGG

leggy
i would dab for money

Iwaizumi Hajime
me fucking too buddy

Barnacle
Iwaizumi did you just say you would be  a prostitute???

Iwaizumi Hajime
there’s no shame in sex work, kindaichi

hanger tooru
very true

Angel
you would have to pay me a Lot tho

hanger tooru
oh yes
I am a luxury
few can afford

Iwaizumi Hajime
but sometimes…. Things that are expensive…. are Worse

hanger tooru
WOW RUDE

bye felicia
you gotta give iwaizumi credit he can certainly pull out

leggy
are you the pizzza boy bc you can Deliver

Yahabinch
Sorry Oikawa, Iwaizumi gets double points for the clapback on the scoreboard

hanger tooru
FUCK ALL OF YOU

bye felicia
would that make you our sugar baby then

hanger tooru
forreal tho i would not want any wrinkly old dick near me
but if he was gonna pay my upcoming college tuition

leggy
if u paid for my uni study i would 100% suck ur dick

bye felicia
i’ll bear that in mind lol

hanger tooru
Although men are shite… being a sugar baby to a lovely wealthy lady might be better
@nice women who would like to pay a youthful twink with good skin for their companionship: hmu

Yahabinch
I wish I could look more like a twink but I can’t commit

hanger tooru
whats stopping you?

 

Yahabinch
money

bye felicia
valid

Yahabinch
i could become a sugar baby to pay for the twink lifestyle

hanger tooru
God mood

bye felicia
Hahaha… twink lifestyle

hanger tooru
ur a twink maki u can’t deny it

Barnacle
I wish i could look more gay

hanger tooru
You DO look gay are u kidding

Angel
yeah kindaichi, ur like a baby muscle gay
Is that a thing????
I think it’s a thing

kuni
literally anytime i see anyone who looks like u i assume they’re a huge gay

Yahabinch
Yeah Kin, it’s a well known fact that you look and are very gay

bye felicia
you are So Valid

Barnacle
Thank you guys so much!!!!

leggy
Valid! Valid! Valid!

hanger tooru
valid! valid ! valid   ! !

bye felicia
validvalidvalidvalidvalidavlida

hanger tooru
You are so valid!!!! So very valid!!

bye felicia
V  a    l    i      D

Angel
That word has lost all meaning now

leggy
watari, that’s valid

Mad Dog
you’re valid

leggy
no mad dog, YOU’RE valid

Mad Dog
No YOU’RE valid

leggy
Thank u,,,,,,, so much,,,,,,,

Mad Dog
i hate u

bye felicia
thats not very valid of u kyoutani




Kindaichi Yuutarou > Kunimi Akira
So does this mean You Know Who knows im gay??

Kunimi Akira
kin, everyone and their grandma’s dog knows ur gay
but in saying that
this is You Know Who we’re talking about

Kindaichi Yuutarou
Ajsjksskjgjsgjkgg




Meme dream team

11.05pm

Angel
hey everyone fun tip do not watch @Hanamaki’s story on snapchat unless you want nightmares (oml)

bye felicia
kabdajbkdjf


hanger tooru
i gotta now
oh god

Iwaizumi Hajime
is that the sonic the hedgehog filter

bye felicia
SONIC

Yahabinch
Nightmare fuel

bye felicia
i’m laughing so hard it’s the best fucking filter

Yahabinch
What the FUCK Hanamaki

bye felicia
why dont u all love me for who i really am

Iwaizumi Hajime
The sonic face is Horrifying, Hanamaki

bye felicia
you see iwaizumi, this is why we could never work out. you couldnt accept my sonic-sona

Iwaizumi Hajime
your sonic-sona

bye felicia
my sonic sona
Like a fursona but its sonic

Mad Dog
why the heck

leggy
my sonic-sona is glittery and it can eat anything

bye felicia
see, matsu gets it

kuni
vore?

leggy
kunimi you are a CHILD

Angel
honestly end cringe culture everyone should have a sonic sona

leggy
Honestly???? tru

bye felicia
r e v o l t

hanger tooru
I for one fully disagree

bye felicia
why tho it’s harmless fun
why dont u want us to have fun captain

hanger tooru
sonic has been ruined for me for a long time

leggy
wh

hanger tooru
personal feud

leggy
how

bye felicia
okay how do u feel abt other sonas like
dare i say it
fursonas

hanger tooru
nooo

leggy
tooru if u dont know what animal ur fursona is ur lying to urself

bye felicia
love urself captain
make a fursona

 

hanger tooru
I hate thi s

leggy
mine would be a ferret noodle cat

hanger tooru
a What

bye felicia
mine is still sonic the hedgehog

Iwaizumi Hajime
mine would be a wolf

Mad Dog
i was gonna say that

Iwaizumi Hajime
okay mine is an Alpha wolf

Mad Dog
… fine

Yahabinch
@ Kyoutani Kentarou more like a coyote

Mad Dog
Fuck off
Yours would be a yappy little lap dog

Yahabinch
Aww are you saying I’m cute

Mad Dog
I’m saying you’re annoying

Angel
I don’t know what my fursona would be but not because i’m against the cringe just because i havent thought abt it enough

bye felicia
thats valid

Barnacle
I don’t have a fursona but I have a warrior cats sona!

bye felicia
same thing basically

Barnacle
No it’s not!!!!

Mad Dog
warrior cats is so much different fuck you

Yahabinch
oh my god

Mad Dog
have u got smth to say asshole

Yahabinch
Noooo
I just also saw you more as a dog person

 

Mad Dog
I can appreciate all animals
and those books are good
they’re heartfelt stories about kinship love and bravery against all odds and i would die for firestar

Barnacle
Crowfeather is my favourite

Mad Dog
he’s cool but i’ll never forgive him for what he did to leafpool

Barnacle
yeah that made me cry
second series was definitely my favourite

Mad Dog
original all the way but i respect that

hanger tooru
this is the most i’ve ever seen kyouken talk on this chat if not ever

bye felicia
AndIfeelStarClaninthischillistonight.jpeg

Yahabinch
Asjkjjdgg



Yahaba Shigeru > Watari Shinji
KYOUTANI IS A WARRIOR CAR FAN WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON

Watari Shinji
hahaha…. warrior car fan

Yahaba Shigeru
FUCK OFF SHINJI U KNOW WHAT I MEANT

Watari Shinji
I think that it’s cute that he’s connecting with Kindaichi abt it they never used to get along

Yahaba Shigeru
Asfbjbdajblahfah

Watari Shinji
just go talk to him about warrior cats i know u want to

Yahaba Shigeru
FUC K THE SHUT UP SHINJI

Watari Shinji
screenshotted

Yahaba Shigeru
*softly but with feeling* nooooo
besides i hate that guy why would i want to talk to him even if he does like warrior cats

Watari Shinji
this is getting real old shig

Yahaba Shigeru
I’m sure I don’t know what you mean



Meme Dream Team

[Yahaba Shigeru set Kyoutani Kentarou’s nickname to Fire Alone Can Save Our Clan]

Yahabinch
Since you’re our secret weapon in the upcoming spring high and all

Fire Alone Can Save Our Clan
….. nice

 

 


Yahaba Shigeru > Watari Shinji
AAAAAAAAA WATARI

Watari Shinji
NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE

Chapter Text

 

Meme Dream Team
8.39pm

hanger tooru
so lads tomorrow is the friday before spring high and we all know what that means

leggy
Heck Yeah

Barnacle
What??? What does it mean

hanger tooru
ITS SEIJOU PARTY TIME

bye felicia
THERES NO PARTY LIKE A SEIJOU PARTY

leggy
BC SEIJOU PARTIES DONT STOP TIL OIKAWA STARTS CRYING ON IWAIZUMIS SHOULDER ABOUT HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO WIN AND THEN MAKES EVERYONE WATCH THE XFILES AND WE ALL FIND EXCUSES TO GO HOME

hanger tooru
hey um tf

Iwaizumi Hajime
I mean they’re not wrong

hanger tooru
YOU MEAN YOU AREN’T EVEN GONNA DEFEND ME IWA

Iwaizumi Hajime
Lmao no what gave u that idea

leggy
top 10 worst anime betrayals

hanger tooru
BUT ANYWAY seijou party at my place tomorrow night bring your own drinks etc try not to make a mess of the carpet

bye felicia
@kunimi @kindaichi how do u feel abt being invited to ur first high school party

Barnacle
I’ve been invited to parties before?

kuni
I have but i never went to them

hanger tooru
what
can my freshers be
popular???

bye felicia
oooh yes this is good

Barnacle
being in the volleyball club really does make people think you’re cool!!

kuni
yeah, its actually pretty amazing

Yahaba Shigeru
It doesn’t though?
I’ve never been invited to any parties apart from seijou parties

bye felicia
oooooooh my god

kuni
yahaba thats just bc youre fundamentally uncool

hanger tooru
what are you talking about!!! yahaba is cool, he’s my prodigy after all

kuni
well that would explain why he has like 1 friend

hanger tooru
Kunimi, you are being particularly unpleasant today

leggy
kunimi is like an oven

hanger tooru
How

Leggy
roasts u

kuni
good one

Yahabinch
Shut up, freshman

[Matsukawa Issei set Kunimi Akira’s nickname to fresher than u]

fresher than u
… nice

Yahabinch
And fuck you I have more than one friend

fresher than u
who

Yahabinch
Watari

fresher than u
and?

Yahabinch
Watari?


Angel
And kyoutani! He’s your friend too!

Yahabinch
What??? Kyoutani isnt my friend!!!!

Fire Alone Can Save Our Clan
wow fuck you too, asshole

Yahabinch
And that is exactly why

Fire Alone Can Save Our Clan
its not my fault you’re a proud, stuck up dickwad

Yahabinch
And it’s not my fault you’re a self-righteous prick who only cares about himself!

Fire Alone Can Save Our Clan
I fucking dare you say that again

Yahabinch
Of course, anytime.
Dickcheese

Angel
yeah, this is why you guys don’t have many other friends

Fire Alone Can Save Our Clan
SAY THAT TO MY FUCKING FACE

Yahabinch
I LOOK FUCKING FORWARD TO IT

hanger tooru
are the rest of you looking forward to watching these two get drunk together tomorrow as I am

Angel
macklemore didn’t die for this

 

10.40pm
hanger tooru
HEY I JUST MET YOU


11.01pm
bye felicia
AND THIS IS CRAZY

hanger tooru
bitch where were u

leggy
BUT HERE’S MY NUMBER

hanger tooru
SO CALL ME MAYBE

bye felicia
anyway i would die for carly rae jepson

Iwaizumi Hajime
oh mood

Yahabinch
We all know this, Hanamaki
You have both sides of emotion on vinyl

hanger tooru
you’re such a secret hipster

bye felicia
secret?????
Bitch i have pink hair and wear floral shirts constantly

Iwaizumi Hajime
most people just think that’s you being gay
common mistake

leggy
yeah, hanamaki is just a hipster, not gay or anything

bye felicia
….. jared, we’ve been dating for-

Yahabinch
nice one, another point for the meme scoreboard

leggy
whoever is last on the meme scoreboard tomorrow has to do a funnel upon entry

hanger tooru
but not that we are encouraging underaged drinking or anything hahahahaha

Angel
captain, last year you poured your vodka and kombucha hell mix into the king cup and I had to skull the whole thing

leggy
yeah, that was not pretty

hanger tooru
kombucha is good for your gut! and it’s vegan!

Iwaizumi Hajime
are you fucking kidding me
its not good for you if u mix it with vodka jesus christ

hanger tooru
hey i never said i make good decisions

Iwaizumi Hajime
tooru u are a human fucking disaster

hanger tooru
and i stand by that

Barnacle
I think I’ve changed my mind about going to this party now

Iwaizumi Hajime
Its okay Kindaichi, we wont make you do anything you dont want to
And we’ll also look after you if you go too far

Barnacle
Thank you!!!

leggy
oh yeah kindaichi

[Matsukawa Issei changed Kindaichi Yuutarou’s nickname to corn cob]

Yahabinch
why

leggy
country girls make do

Angel
oh god

corn cob
aren't we technically country boys?

Yahabinch
jksjkjgbskjgsbk

hanger tooru
city boys have the toyko tower
country boys make do

Mad Dog
I hate this

bye felicia
awww mad dog you changed ur name back


Mad Dog
the other one was too long

bye felicia
Haha yeah it only came up on my phone as ‘fire alone can save’

leggy
fire alone can save whom?

bye felicia
fire alone can save whosmt?

Iwaizumi Hajime
can u guys just go to bed


12.15am

bye felicia
hey guys if u were a vine which one would u be

hanger tooru
saw u hanging out with caitlyn yesterday

bye felicia
B-BUT REBECCA ITS NOT WHAT U THINK

hanger tooru
I WONT HESITATE, BITCH

Iwaizumi Hajime
that is very fitting

hanger tooru
iwa u would probably be
whoever threw that paper, ur mom’s a ho

Iwaizumi Hajime
I think it’s more like
I dont get any sleep cos of yall

hanger tooru
SO U DONT GET ANY SLEEP COS OF ME

Iwaizumi Hajime
do u know why? Because its currently past midnight and we have practice tomorrow you fucks

hanger tooru
lol i never sleep

fresher than u
neither

hanger tooru
omg kunimi!!! What meme would u be

fresher than u
so im sitting there
barbaque sauce on my titties

hanger tooru
Akjskafngkj why

fresher than u
guess you dont know me that well captain

hanger tooru
thats oldly ominous

fresher than u
anyway
i know what yahaba would be

bye felicia
oh my god what

fresher than u
“dont fuck with me i have the power of both god and anime on my side”

Yahabinch
FUCK YOU FRESHMAN

bye felicia
YOURE SO RIGHT HAHAHAHAHA

hanger tooru
WAIT then what is kyoutani????

Angel
HOLY SHIT i know
“on all levels other than physical, I am a wolf”

bye felicia
Ajsbfanlgknhlshkdknjkm;jjm
can u imagine kyoutani just walking around being like
YIP

hanger tooru
YIP YIP MOTHERFUCKER

fresher than u
i know what ud be hanamaki

bye felicia
freshman, if this is rude ill kick ur ass

fresher than u
……..
um, u can’t sit with us

hanger tooru
I CANT SIT ANYWHERE MEGAN

Angel
I HAVE

leggy
HEMORRHOIDS

bye felicia
kunimi id kill u dead if i didnt fucking love that vine
also welcome to the party mattsun what vine would u be

leggy
waddup im matsukawa, im 19 and i never fucking learnt how to read

hanger tooru
SJHKHDLHKENTHLKE
@watari what are u???

Angel
Aaaaa!!! You could've made me drop my croissant!!!

bye felicia
i fucking rate that

hanger tooru
GUYS BUT WAIT

Iwaizumi Hajime
what now

hanger tooru
WHAT IS KINIDAICHI

bye felicia
FUCK I HAVW NO IDEA

Iwaizumi Hajime
aw fuck
I cant believe youve done this

hanger tooru
AJFJGJKH IWA

bye felicia
THATS TOO GOOD BYE

leggy
thank u waizumi for my life

bye felicia
waizumi

hanger tooru
waizumi

fresher than u
waizumi

leggy
hey it could be a cute nickname between the two of us

Mad Dog
gay

bye felicia
waizumi are u making moves on my man

leggy
baby … u know id never let anyone else come between us

bye felicia
Babe……. I know…

Iwaizumi Hajime
why are you guys so weird

leggy
Shut up waizumi ive literally caught u digging up the football field for dirt for ur ant farm

bye felicia
with a spoon

Iwaizumi Hajime
hey that was a necessary action

hanger tooru
you believe ghosts are real

Iwaizumi Hajime
The 4th gym is legitimately haunted?????

hanger tooru
Ghosts dont exist!!!!!

Iwaizumi Hajime
but aliens do???

hanger tooru
YES EXACTLY

bye felicia
what the fuck is happening here on this day

Iwaizumi Hajime
this is actually a regular occurance

leggy 
how exactly is the gym haunted im intrigued???

corn cob
It’s true!! One time someone put their arm around my shoulders when I was in there and I turned around and there was no one there!!

leggy 
holy shit
surely we exorcise the gym

Iwaizumi Hajime
Surely

hanger tooru
why do u guys believe iwa about ghosts but not me about aliens???????

leggy
because its fun to rile u up lol

hanger tooru
:(


3.40am

hanger tooru
hey guys is kindaichi called kindaichi cos he’s kin with sawamura daichi

bye felicia
hey im kin with daichi
no doubles

hanger tooru
kindaichi and daichi, fight for who is the real daichi

bye felicia
surely thats the highlight of our rematch against karasuno

hanger tooru
fuck yeah
we’re gonna beat them into the ground
and then kindaichi will take his place as the true daichi

bye felicia
Oooooooooh… seijouuu

hanger tooru
seijou fight!

Chapter Text

8.00pm

hanger tooru
waddup sluts roll up to mine rn i have drunk gay jenga

Angel
excuse me you have a what

hanger tooru
also u better all be bringing ur own drinks i dont wanna be some kind of supplier

fresher than u
me and yuutarou have very diluted vodka and lemonade in pump bottles

hanger tooru
classic, a classic fresher move

Yahabinch
I have gin and tonics

Angel
Its a 24 pack lol we’re sharing


Yahabinch
go hard or go home

Mad Dog
bourbon and coke

bye felicia
daddy’s bringing tequilaaaaaaaaa

hanger tooru
I have malibu and iwaizumi is drinking straight whiskey from a hip flask like a fucking old man

Iwaizumi Hajime
hey, fuck you too
@Maksukawa what’s your poison

leggy
respecting women juice

Angel
aw hell yeah my favourite

hanger tooru
Wholesome

bye felicia
he’s lying he has billy mavs that fucker

Angel
WHAT

hanger tooru
YOU B R E A T H E R

Iwaizumi Hajime
please don’t tell me its a coffin
Please

hanger tooru
NO BREATHERS IN MY HOUSE

Yahabinch
No breathers in my life please

leggy
they were on special
it was this or the goon guys

hanger tooru
just thinking about breather matsukawa is making me want goon

bye felicia
lmao

Angel
um but more pressing matter here?? what the Hell is drunk gay jenga
am i going to die tonight

bye felicia
maybe

Angel
THAT'S NOT REASSURING

hanger tooru
the 3rd years made a drinking game while drunk one time
Its basically every drinking game rolled into one

Yahabinch
we’re definitely going to die

leggy
oh yeah

Mad Dog
oi captain I can’t find ur front door

hanger tooru
thats okay!! you have to kinda go round the side

Mad Dog
oh okay
oh my god
is that a fucking swimming pool
are you rich or something

hanger tooru
yes that is ours

Iwaizumi Hajime
he’s bougie as fuck

Mad Dog
figures

bye felicia
o shit i forgot abt ur pool i would’ve worn different underwear

Angel
please don’t tell me you’re planning on stripping

leggy
babe just swim naked
that way the underwear won’t get ruined

bye felicia
omg matsun… ur so smart :*

hanger tooru
VETO there’s no way i’m having ur naked ass in my pool makki who knows what you’re carrying!!!!!!

bye felicia
my dear captain, are you calling me a ho???

hanger tooru
yes

Iwaizumi Hajime
yes

leggy
yes

bye felicia
ok so i guess i cant argue with that
But matsunu too??? e tu brute

leggy
ur a filthy slut

hanger tooru
Ajsjkfabdkjgablhrsnhrlknn oh ym god

Iwaizumi Hajime
how many of those billy mavs have you already had????

leggy
none

Iwaizumi Hajime
huh

leggy
I downed most of a bottle of nitro before coming

hanger tooru
Oh my gooood matusn nooooooooo

Yahabinch
Isn’t nitro illegal in some countries???

hanger tooru
matsun i can’t believe this
You always say such weird shit when u drink nitro whyyy

leggy
there was half a bottle left over at my place from the last party
u cant not pre game
its like how u cant not have foreplay before sex

hanger tooru
STOP oh my god this is the worst

leggy
u looove it

hanger tooru
i hope u regret this in the morning. I hope u die

leggy
i plan on it dw

 Angel
oh worm

Yahabinch
Same hat

Angel
same worm

Yahabinch
Hahahaha… Worm hat

Angel
Worm Hat!!!!!

Iwaizumi Hajime
dont tell me you guys are already drunk too

Yahabinch
Hm… no ?

Angel
yes. Abosultely

bye felicia
Abosultely

Angel
Matsukawa is right pre-gaming is a must
Me and shig have been drinking and painting our nail 

Yahabinch
They’re really good they’re in seijou colours

hanger tooru
oh shit we should all do that!!!!
when everyone comes in the door ur getting ur nails painted
u first kyouken!!

Mad Dog
metal

corn cob
Hey Oikawa!!! Me and Kunimi have arrived!!!

hanger tooru
GOOD COME IN its makeover time
@iwa can u do kindaichi’s

Iwaizumi Hajime
ofc come here

fresher than u
So as it turns out iwaizumi is way better at nail painting than oikawa

hanger tooru
Excuuuuse me

Iwaizumi Hajime
haha eat it
I used to do my little sister’s nails

corn cob
They have stripes on them!! So cool!!

Iwaizumi Hajime
I want to give everyone different patterns and things

bye felicia
can i have a statement nail??

Iwaizumi Hajime
fuck yeah u can 

corn cob
will this be alright though??? Will it like interfere with volleyball or whatever?

hanger tooru
we might be told to remove it but who cares they’re pussies

corn cob
i guess u dont ever see any of the girls volleyball teams with their nails done so i guess they must be asked to remove it

bye felicia
jdjfkfdjhdk kindaichi………..

corn cob
What?????

bye felicia
volleyball girls……..
They’re lesbians, harold

corn cob
WHAT

bye felicia
THEYRE ALL LESBIANS

corn cob
Nobody told me!!!!

Angel
kindaichi at this point u just gotta accept that everyone who plays volleyball is gay

Yahabinch
Its true

hanger tooru
can confirm

Iwaizumi Hajime
yeah pretty much

hanger tooru
wait but hold up @makki some lesbians have their nails done

bye felicia
How do u figure

hanger tooru
bottoms
that statement was bottom erasure

Angel
Adbksjfbsfsfjb

hanger tooru
as a fellow bottom

Angel
Captain ple as ejabdkjagbk

hanger tooru
i stand up for my my comrades in arms, lesbian bottoms, when i say

Angel
Capta in s t o p

Iwaizumi Hajime
no, let him continue

hanger tooru
all bottoms are valid

leggy
#yesallbottoms

Yahabinch
Captain, I think you killed Watari

hanger tooru
another casualty in our fight for bottom acceptance
btw makki, shigeru, from now on i’m referring to u as ‘fellow bottom’

Yahabinch
But I’m not a bottom?

bye felicia
fellow bottom, you live on a throne of lies

Yahabinch
I’m not though?
Anyway, we’ve finally arrived so the gang is all here

Angel
Whats uuuup losers nice to see u all

hanger tooru
welcome!!!

Iwaizumi Hajime
Whats up

Mad Dog
Yo

Yahabinch
Oh shit

hanger tooru
oh shit what?

Angel
oh shit hang on a moment

 

Watari Shinji > Yahaba Shigeru
Shig u alright???

Yahaba Shigeru
Holy SHIT SHINJI

Watari Shinji
I KNOW

Yahaba Shigeru
WHY IS KYOUTANI SO HOT AKJAJKFKFJKL

Watari Shinji
IVE NEVER SEEN HIM OUT OF SCHOOL OR VOLLEYBALL CLOTHES BEFORE

Yahaba Shigeru
I KNEW HE ALWAYS WORE LAST NIGHTS EYELINER TO PRACTICE BUT DAMN
AND THOSE PIERCINGS????
SHIN I THINK IM DYING
HIS ARMS
HIS S H O U L D E R S 

Watari Shinji
i have got to say he does rock the loose tank top and the ripped skinny jeans well

Yahaba Shigeru
I LIKE THE BAND ON HIS SHIRT TOO IM SO FUCKED
WHAT DO I DO IM ALREADY DRUNK
THOSE ARMS LOOK SO STRONG I WANT HIM TO H O L D ME
OR CRUSH ME THAT ALSO WORKS

Watari Shinji
Just chill???????

Yahaba Shigeru
I hope you understand what you’re asking from me
I really want to jump head first into Oikawa’s pool rn

Watari Shinji
do it you’re wearing a white t-shirt it could only make u more sexy
Not that you’re particularily sexy to begin with but u know 

Yahaba Shigeru
I really hate you sometimes

 

Yahaba Shigeru > Meme Dream Team
Anyway I retract my previous statement concerning bottoming

Mad Dog
what

Yahabinch
What

hanger tooru
NVMD ITS GAY JENGA TIME NOW
Come gather

Angel
okay captain can u actually explain how this game works now

hanger tooru
YEAH OKAY SO

Iwaizumi Hajime
gay jenga works like regular jenga where u have to take blocks out a jenga tower without knocking it over

hanger tooru
BUT each block has a challenge written on it which you either follow through with or you drink half your drink and add the other half to the king’s cup

Iwaizumi Hajime
If u knock over the jenga tower you have to scull the king’s cup

leggy
Is anyone finding their tag teaming kinda creepy or is that just me

hanger tooru
I have a copy of the rules for each challenge on my phone! Ill read them out as u pull each block

Iwaizumi Hajime
got it? 

fresher than u
sure

hanger tooru
okay everyone ive set the jenga tower up come sit around it
kyouken ur first

Mad Dog
right
what do u have to do for ‘buff boys?’ 

hanger tooru
u gotta pick someone in the group to arm wrestle

Mad Dog
…… oh, it’s on

 

 

9.15pm
Meme Dream Team

Angel
I cant believe kyoutani challenged iwaizumi to arm wrestling so confidently and still lost

Yahabinch
Miserably, i might add

Mad Dog
hey fuck off

Angel
anyway since i drew the dumb block where i cant talk for the whole round im gonna be messaging the chat every time i wanna say something
so dont u dare ignore me

bye felicia
hahaha sorry bout it

Angel
hanamaki u cant talk u have to sit in iwaizumi’s lap for an entire round

bye felicia
And im having the time of my life, whats ur point

leggy
all the blocks we’ve all drawn so far have been lame
also btw what hogwarts house are u all in

hanger tooru
slytherin, bitch

Iwaizumi Hajime
hufflepuff 

bye felicia
ravenclaw

Yahabinch
Hufflepuff  

Mad Dog
gryffindor

corn cob
Gryffindor!

fresher than u
ravenclaw

Angel
raven-slyther-puff

hanger tooru
Watari no offense but what the fuck

bye felicia
u cant be in more than 1 house!!!!
conform

Angel
but i cant pick only the sorting hat can

bye felicia
c o n f o r m

Angel
do i have to

Iwaizumi Hajime
Yes

Angel
but mooom

leggy
just pick one

Angel
fine
slytherin
why are u asking us anyway

leggy
My block is ‘house pride’ so everyone in the same hogwarts house as me has to drink

Angel
and that is?

leggy
RAVENCLAW, DIPSHITS

bye felicia
FUCK U MATTSUN

fresher than u
Uuuuuugh why

leggy
okay oiks whats ur block

hanger tooru
fuck marry kill
Pretty self explanatory really

bye felicia
okay oikawa
fuck marry kill
kageyama, futakuchi and ushiwaka

hanger tooru
can i kill all of them

Iwaizumi Hajime
Nope

hanger tooru
uhhghugghgh i hate these guys this is the worst

bye felicia
haha i know

hanger tooru
okay so obviously cant fuck or marry kageyama bc he’s a baby and also sucks
so he’s going to have to die

fresher than u
tragic

hanger tooru
i would marry futakuchi (ugh) bc he seems like he seems like he could be fun to talk shit with

Iwaizumi Hajime
you two would be the most insufferable couple ever
If that ever happens i might to have move to another country

hanger tooru
and….do i have to say it

leggy
oh abso-fucking-lutely

bye felicia
let it out captain
your deepest, darkest desire

hanger tooru
i really dont want to say this

Iwaizumi Hajime
If u dont thats half ur drink gone

hanger tooru
Uguguhetueht fine!!!
……….. I would fuck ushiwaka

bye felicia
HELL YEAH

leggy
ur right cap ushiwaka can get it 

bye felicia
he’s hot as shit

Yahabinch
I hate to admit it but

Mad Dog
its true

hanger tooru
THIS TEAM IS FULL OF TRAITOR 

bye felicia
u said it first

hanger tooru
WE’RE SUPPOSED TO WANT TO BEAT USHIWAKA NOT FUCK HIM

Iwaizumi Hajime
can’t we though?

hanger tooru
IWA NOT U TOO

Iwaizumi Hajime
chill oikawa we all know you’ve been obsessed with him for years

hanger tooru
BUT NOT LIKE THAT

bye felicia
you did say it yourself

leggy
its okay captain we understand and support u
ushi can get it

bye felicia
he has big dick energy

hanger tooru
jfgjhfjkfhjkfhk

leggy
hey u wanna know who else has big dick energy

Yahabinch
I really don’t

bye felicia
whom

leggy
sawamura daichi

bye felicia
CONFIRMED


Iwaizumi Hajime
thats a fair statement


hanger tooru
i know karasuno sucks but i would do that man in a heartbeat

bye felicia
thats fair most of karasuno is hot
like ugly but hot ugly

fresher than u
hey if i take the next block will u guys stop talking about this

hanger tooru
no promises

fresher than u
i got strip
do i have to

hanger tooru
dw!!! u only have to take off one item of clothing

fresher than u
ok

bye felicia
kunimi u cant just take off one sock

fresher than u
watch me, bitch

corn cob
hey i drew ‘sexy selfie’ what does that mean?

hanger tooru
u gotta send a sexy picture to someone outside of this room
u get to decide what ‘sexy’ means tho so dw

corn cob
Ummmm okay i’ll be right back i guess

 

 

Kindaichi Yuutarou > Kageyama Tobio
Attached image

 Kageyama Tobio
hey, kindaichi? no offense, but. what the fuck.

Kindaichi Yuutarou
HEY IM SO SORRY THEY MADE ME DO IT

Kageyama Tobio
no i mean its a nice picture but also. they made you? should i call the police?
do you need help, kindaichi.

Kindaichi Yuutarou
No its fine dw!!!!! Seijou’s just playing a drinking game!! Please don’t call the police i think oikawa would get super mad

Kageyama Tobio
oikawa gets mad at everything i do. also, hinata is telling me i should ‘return the favor’, do you know what he means? did you do something special for me?

Kindaichi Yuutarou
Uhhhhhhhhhh
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
My challenge was to send a sexy selfie to someone
I chose you, i guess????

 Kageyama Tobio
so.
i should send you a sexy selfie?

Kindaichi Yuutarou
Oh man okay, if you want to
I might yanno, die, but if u want to that would be, u know, cool?

Kageyama Tobio
why would you die? are you okay? is this like the memes

Kindaichi Yuutarou
No its okay no one is killing me this time!!!
Ur just cute and im. so drunk

Kageyama Tobio
Attached Image 
you think that i’m cute?

Kindaichi Yuutarou
OH MAN LOOK AT THAT PICTURE
ALSO DID I SAY THAT
MY MUM SAYS I GOTTA GO RIGHT NOW BYE

Kageyama Tobio
oh, uh? bye?
i think you’re cute too, by the way.

 

 

hanger tooru > Meme Dream Team
iwa, u draw a block 2 mins ago and you’ve been staring at it ever since
what did u get

Iwaizumi Hajime
hold on, im considering my options

Yahabinch
which are?

Iwaizumi Hajime
either i scull half my drink (which is straight whiskey btw) and put the block back without any of u fuckers knowing what i got, or….

hanger tooru
or….?

Iwaizumi Hajime
…... I perform a lap dance

hanger tooru
IWA

bye felicia
WELL U HAVE TO NOW

hanger tooru
ive been waiting for someone to get that block the whole game holy shit  

leggy
iwaizumi hajime if u dont follow through with that lap dance i will personally kill u

hanger tooru
Iwa, you aren’t going to back down from a challenge, are you?

Iwaizumi
…… fuck you guys so much

Yahabinch
Oh my god, he just downed the rest of his flask

Angel
@god is this really happening
holy shit he’s picking a song

hanger tooru
I mean, we all have that one song that brings out the inner stripper in us

bye felicia
what do u mean, ‘inner’

leggy
mine’s buttons by the pussycat dolls

hanger tooru
mine’s feeling myself

bye felicia
mine’s fergalicious

fresher than u
dont u mean karkalicious

bye felicia
kunimi one of these days i will end u and no one will find the body

hanger tooru
so what song did u choose iwa
everyone shut up stop talking its playing

Angel
hold on is that

bye felicia
Is that partition by beyonce???????

hanger tooru
MY QUEEN

leggy
omf iwaizumi just dropped into one of the slowest most sensual body rolls ive ever seen

bye felicia
oh jesus

Yahabinch
oikawa did u know he could move like that i didnt know he could move like that

hanger tooru
i had no idea also i think i might die

bye felicia
guys he just made intense eye-sex level eye contact with me im definitely going to die

Angel
he’s making his way over to you

bye felicia
oh god, is this this the end?

Angel
im screaming he just grabbed each side of hanamaki’s chair
ohhhhh my god what is he doing with his ass

leggy
this is hot

bye felicia
BABE HELP ME IM DYING

Angel
Holy FUCK he just moved over to matsukawa and started twerking on him
have i entered some kind of alternative reality

hanger tooru
HE JUST SLUT DROPPED TO THE FLOOR WHILE BETWEEN MATSUNS LEGS

corn cob
@god am i dead?

hanger tooru
HES ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES C R A W L I NG

corn cob
NOW HE”S MADE EYE CONTACT WITH ME AM I GOING TO DIE

fresher than u
rest in fucking pieces kindaichi 

Angel
Is he going to give a lap dance to the entire fucking team??????

Yahabinch
Oh god i hope so

Mad Dog
worm

Angel
same worm
btw i dont think kindaichi is ever going to recover from iwaizumi straddling his lap

fresher than u
I think he did actually pass out at some point

Angel
Probably when iwaizumi winked at him ajsbakja

leggy
I cant handle how hot iwaizumi dragging his hands up his body is

bye felicia
Oh my god kyouken looks like he’s making his way over to u

hanger tooru
kyou’s been sitting stock still this whole time

bye felicia
IWAIZUMIS JUST WALKING AROUND HIM TRAILING HIS HANDS ACROSS KYOU’S CHEST

hanger tooru
OH MY GOD DID HE JUST GRAB HIM BY HIS SHIRT COLLAR AND SNARL

Angel
kyoutani was too shell shocked to even snarl back oh my g o d

Yahabinch
Hnnnngfnngn

Angel
oh BOY its my turn!!!!

Yahabinch
STOP LAUGHING WATARI

Angel
IM SORRY I COULDNT HELP IT IM NERVOUS
U TRY HAVING UR VICE CAPTAIN SHAKE HIS HIPS ON U LIKE SHAKIRA

leggy
he’s grabbed his crotch and licked his thumb i think im having an aneurysm

Mad Dog
I think ive already had one

hanger tooru
H o L D THE FUCK UP
DID HE JUST SLIDE INTO THE SPLITS
LIKE FUCKJNGNI KAMERON MICHAELS

fresher than u
thats it. he’s too powerful

corn cob
OH THANK GOD ITS OVER

bye felicia
I am so, so fucking glad i was not sober for that

hanger tooru
think i can unleash him as a secret weapon on shiratorizawa

Mad Dog
I thought I was the secret weapon

Yahabinch
Can you do what he just did though

Mad Dog
Sure I can

Yahabinch
Prove it then

Mad Dog
Just watch me, asshole

Angel
okaaaaay that’s enough from you two now
can we get back to the game i think that will be burned into my brain for eternity

hanger tooru
HOLD ON ONE SECOND
WHY DIDNT I GET A LAP DANCE

Iwaizumi Hajime
Because ur a loser

hanger tooru
LAME IWA, LAME

Chapter Text

Meme Dream Team

hanger tooru
I have to say the jenga tower is looking pretty wobbly by now
who’s turn is it anyway

Yahabinch
Mine

Angel
Okay, so what did you get?

Yahabinch
Um
7 minutes in heaven?

leggy 
Jackpoooot

hanger tooru
u know we get to choose who goes in there with u right

Yahabinch
Are you fucking kidding me

hanger tooru
hmmm…. I wonder who it should be….

Angel
hey captain, yahaba and kyoutani do need to work on their *cough* teamwork

Yahabinch
Please don’t do this

hanger tooru
my dearest libero that sounds like an excellent idea

Yahabinch
Pleeease I am literally begging you

hanger tooru
do we have a group consensus?

Mad Dog
wait what the fuck no

Angel
aye

fresher than u
aye

bye felicia
aye

leggy 
aye

corn cob
Aye

Iwaizumi Hajime
aye

Yahabinch
Iwaizumi too???

Iwaizumi Hajime
at this point im drunk enough to agree to anything

hanger tooru
thats valid

bye felicia
mood

Yahabinch
Okay hold on then give me a second

hanger tooru
wait yahaba dont

bye felicia
too late

leggy
did he just down his g and t in like 5 seconds
oh shit he opened another one

Angel
oh no you dont bitch put that can down i don’t want to carry you home tonight
or yanno, to hospital

hanger tooru
oh wait watari looks like ur good kyouken just grabbed the drink out of yahaba’s hand and downed it himself

fresher than u
Adjfsljbsfk yahaba pls dont kill him
oh actually yes pls do that would be funny

Yahabinch
I can handle my drink you dick

kyouken 
sure, whatever

Yahabinch 
Fuck you, you owe me a gin and tonic

kyouken
whatever you want, princess

hanger tooru
hey guys if youre gonna kill each other can you do it in the bathroom and not in here i dont want my parents stuff to be broken

kyouken
fine.

Yahabinch 
Fine!!!

hanger tooru
Ill show you the way, follow me

bye felicia
hey tooru i just wanted to let u know that ur a fuckigng genius

Iwaizumi Hajime
A total dumbass but still

leggy 
I cant believe that actually worked

hanger tooru
I DID IT I LOCKED THEM IN TOGETHER

leggy 
captain you are a brave, brave man

hanger tooru
i would do anything for my team

Iwaizumi Hajime
thats great and all but if either of them end up in hospital by the end of the night because they killed each other thats we’re fucked for spring high

hanger tooru
iwa
shhh
this is drunken fun time

Iwaizumi Hajime
im just trying to be rsponsible

hanger tooru
shhhhhhhhhh

leggy 
I love how ur still trying to be ‘rsponsible’ even though u probably cant walk straight

Iwaizumi Hajime
I hope u lock ur door at night matsukawa

Angel
hey captain do you know what you sholud do

hanger tooru
what, my favourite libero?

Angel 
turn the wifi off so yahaba wont spend all 7 minutes messaging us to let him out
he doesnt have data

hanger tooru
omg watacchi,,, there are TWO geniuseses on this team

Iwaizumi Hajime
there’s two wataris?

hanger tooru
SHUTTUP IWA NO ONE ASKED U

hanger tooru
but okayyyy wifi is going off now lets do this!!!!

 

10.20pm

Watari Shinji > Yahaba Shigeru
wats up shig its me ya boy

Watari Shinji
ur 7 minutes are up, even though they were longer than 7 minutes lol we kinda lost track

Watari Shinji
hows kyoutaaaaaani did u guys kiss and make up lol

Yahaba Shigeru
WATARI HOLY FUCK

Watari Shinji
what???? whats happening?????

Yahaba Shigeru
WATARI HOLY FUCK KYOUTANI IS GONE

Watari Shinji
what??? what do u mean he’s gone

Yahaba Shigeru
I MEAN HE TRIED TO CLIMB OUT THE WINDOW, FELL OUT OF IT INSTEAD AND RAN INTO THE NIGHT

Watari Shinji
WHAT THE FUCK YAHABA

Yahaba Shigeru
WE GOTTA FIND HIM

Watari Shinji
omg okay ive told the 3rd years they’re gonna scan the area for him calm down!!!!

Watari Shinji
do u have any ideas of where he might be?

Yahaba Shigeru
um

Yahaba Shigeru
Probably far far away from here

Watari Shinji
shig what the hell happened

Yahaba Shigeru
Uhhhhhh do you want the short version or the long version

Watari Shinji
the long version please n thank

Yahaba Shigeru
Okay okay so

Yahaba Shigeru
After you guys locked us in here and turned the wifi off (fuck you by the way I’m still mad) I obviously resorted to the next best thing which was banging on the door and yelling really loud

Yahaba Shigeru
And Kyoutani was obviously pretty drunk because he just kind of sat on the floor against the bathtub and looked like he was about to fall asleep

Yahaba Shigeru
And he said in his super Kyoutani way “could you shut up for a second, princess”

Yahaba Shigeru
And I was like why are you calling me princess????? What’s the deal???? Because he had been doing that a LOT recently if you haven’t noticed

Watari Shinji
yeah i have lol

Yahaba Shigeru
Yeah so he just kind of shrugged and was like well people are calling Oikawa the grand king and you’re obviously next in line

Yahaba Shigeru
So

Yahaba Shigeru
Princess

Watari Shinji
thats cute af

Yahaba Shigeru
I kind of stopped feeling super mad at that point so i went and sat down on the floor next to him and he pulled a couple of bourbon and cokes out of fucking nowhere and offered one to me

Yahaba Shigeru
I took it and he took a swig of his one and then out of fuxking nowhere was like

Yahaba Shigeru
Also its cos you’re probably some kind of pillow princess

Watari Shinji
AJSNIJNIGNGJKNG HE ACTUSLLLY SAID THAT???

Yahaba Shigeru
I. KNOW. RIGHR

Watari Shinji
poor boy mustve been so fukcing drunk

Yahaba Shigeru
Ohhhh yeah

Yahaba Shigeru
But so was/am I so I was just like no I’m not??? Why would you think that????

Yahaba Shigeru
And then he just did this suuuper sexy kind of chuckle thing and was like you give off this bossy, pampered kind of vibe

Watari Shinji
“vibe”

Yahaba Shigeru
shut the fuck up shinji

Yahaba Shigeru
But yeah normally I would’ve been super mad at that but he was being so stupidly sexy at the time

Yahaba Shigeru
Which ususallly makes me even MORE mad but shinjiiiiii our shoulders and legs were touching and he was looking at me out of the corner of his eye and i was DYING SCOOB DYING

Yahaba Shigeru
And then do you know what this dumb bithc did

Watari Shinji
what?

Yahaba Shigeru
I STARTED TALKING ABOUT MY SEXUAL HISTORY TO PROVE THAT I WASNT A FUCIGN PILLOW PRINCESS

Watari Shinji
You DIDNT

Yahaba Shigeru
I DID IT WAS TERRIBLE I TOLD HIM ABOUT THAT ONE TIME WITH SHIRABU AND ALL ABOUT THAT SMARTASS ART STUDENT TWINK

Watari Shinji
the one with the cute hair that u kept sneaking off with to make out behind the rubbish skips?

Watari Shinji
hey shigeru have u ever thought that the reason why you think u arent a bottom is because you’vle only had vaguely sexual encounters with people who are also bottoms

Yahaba Shigeru
that actually makes a lot of sense

Yahaba Shigeru
but yeah i said that ive done like. Sexual things with people but have never actually had sex you know?????

Yahaba Shigeru
and he was like i guess you dont know if you’re a pillow princess or not then

Yahaba Shigeru
So i was like well have YOU ever had sex you dickhead

Watari Shinji
shigeru……...

Yahaba Shigeru
AND HE LOOKED AT ME AND LOOKED AWAY AND SAID

Yahaba Shigeru
NO

Yahaba Shigeru
IM WAITING FOR IT TO BE WITH SOMEONE MEANINGFUL

Yahaba Shigeru
BOI I DIE

Watari Shinji
boy’s a virgin i totally called it

Yahaba Shigeru
if u want to be technical about it we’re all virgins here

Watari Shinji
virginity is a social construct made up to put a price on women and turn them into commodities

Yahaba Shigeru
normally i would love to deconstruct social concepts with u but i’m kind of telling a mortifying story here

Watari Shinji
oh my bad go ahead

Yahaba Shigeru
So the moment after he said it i must’ve had some look on my face because he immediately started freaking out and like “not that i’m shaming your experiences or anything! You can do whatever you want!” and all that

Watari Shinji
Aw

Yahaba Shigeru
And i was laughing because seeing him flail around and try not to offend me was hilarious

Yahaba Shigeru
And I think it was the alcohol? Because I was leaning into him and laughing on his shoulder all of a sudden

Yahaba Shigeru
And then he was laughing too and it was s o cute

Yahaba Shigeru
and then we just kind of stopped and i was like um sorry that was probably a lot of info you never wanted to know about my sex life WHILE I WAS STILL TOTALLY DRAPED ALL OVER HIM

Yahaba Shigeru
And he was like no its fine

Yahaba Shigeru
and i was like is it really

Yahaba Shigeru
and he said “yeah. I do kind of want to punch shirabu in the face though”

Yahaba Shigeru
And i was like oh my too all the time i hate that guy

Yahaba Shigeru
AnD THEN THIS DUMB BITCH AKA ME SAID

Yahaba Shigeru
I GUESS I HAVE A T Y P E

Watari Shiji
OH YMG DOFUCKGN GOD

Yahaba Shigeru
AND THEN HE LOOKED RIGHT AT ME

Yahaba Shigeru
AND THEN

Yahaba Shigeru
WE WERE

Yahaba Shigeru
K I S S I NG

Watari Shinji
IM SORRY DID I READ THAT RIGHT???????

Watari Shinji
WHO KISSED WHO???????

Yahaba Shigeru
I DONT EVEN KNOW IT JUST HAPP P E EN D

Watari Shinji
I CANR BELEIEVE THIS

Yahaba Shigeru
OHMYYOF G IT WAS SO GOOD IWAS ACTUALLY DYING

Yahaba Shigeru
but if i’m being honest it was kind of a shitty kiss with lots of teeth and tongue and the world spun when i closed my eyes

Yahaba Shigeru
BUT I WAS KISSING KYOUTANI AND HE WAS KISSING ME AND THINGS GOT A BIT HEATED AND HE PUSHED ME DOWN TO THE FLOOR

Yahaba Shigeru
And then???? He stopped???????

Yahaba Shigeru
And he got up and tried to climb out the window?????? And he fell through down into the shrubbery??????????

Watari Shinji
this is so fuking wild what the literal hell

Yahaba Shigeru
So yeah now I’m confused and mad at him

Watari Shinji

no kidding

Yahaba Shigeru
why did he run off like that???? He’s such a dick

Watari Shinji
Mmm hmmm

Yahaba Shigeru
Ugh I hate him so much

Watari Shinj
aaaand we’re back to that, huh

Yahaba Shigeru
Why can’t you be the sympathetic friend for once

Watari Shinji
you know i only listen to you for the #drama

Yahaba Shigeru
>:(

Yahaba Shigeru
anyway, what happened while I was in the bathroom?

Watari Shinji
Oh man what didn’t happen?

Watari Shinji
everyone had to feed oikawa grapes

Watari Shinji
matsukawa serenading hanamaki on the ukelele by singing "i love you bitch... I ain't never gonna stop loving you... bitch"

Watari Shinji
kunimi told us that the first time he ever got drunk was at a kids birthday party that he was supposed to be supervising 

Watari Shinji
I did an excellent rendition of nicki minaj's verse in monster 

Watari Shinji
kindaichi had to say 'believe it' every time he spoke to someone

Watari Shinji
iwaizumi and oikawa got into a heated debate about what was more likely to be real, ghosts or aliens

Watari Shinji
oh and everyone did a body shot off iwaizumi's pecs at some point

Yahaba Shigeru
god fucking dammit

 

>Meme Dream Team

bye felicia
HEY GUYS I FOUND HIM

hanger tooru
THANK GOD WHERE IS HE

bye felicia

oh man i actually think you all need to get here right away
he’s on the roof

Iwaizumi Hajime
@Mad Dog why the hell are you on the roof

Mad Dog
… can’t get down

hanger tooru
are you actually serious
how did u get up there in the first place???

Mad Dog
tbh… not sure

Iwaizumi Hajime
well just hold on, we’ll get you down
Somehow

fresher than u
jump into the pool

Mad Dog
ok

hanger tooru
NO kyouken DO NOT do that

bye felicia
DO IT DO IT DO IT

hanger tooru
Oh my god pls dont do it my parents will kill me

fresher than u
do it do it do it
Mad Dog
Im gonna do it

hanger tooru
NO MAD DOg YOURE SO YOUNG

Mad Dog
tell my dog… i love h

leggy
i cant believe he actually jumped holy fuck

hanger tooru
IS HE ALIVE

leggy
hold on he just resurfaced and gave us a thumbs up
oh wait lm a o

Angel
did yahaba dive to save kyoutani and manage to land on top of him oh my god

hanger tooru
ARE THEY ALIVE
IWAAAAAA HELP THEM

Iwaizumi Hajime
why am i always on damage control god fucking dammit



11.27pm
Iwaizumi Hajime > Meme Dream Team
well that was a debacle and a half
Is everyone okay

bye felicia
physically, yes

Iwaizumi Hajime
what do u mean

bye felicia
I think mentally none of us have recovered from watching iwaizumi rip off his shirt and dive in to save yahaba and kyoutani like some kind of sexy lifeguard

Mad Dog
I didnt need saving i was fine

Iwaizumi Hajime
you were very drunk, had hit your head, and might i mention JUMPED OFF A ROOF

Mad Dog
I was still fine

Yahabinch
I’m not fine, I’m wet and freezing
that’s the last time i’m saving you from drowning

hanger tooru
If you’re cold I can find some blankets!

corn cob
I can make everyone hot chocolate!

Yahabinch
Kindaichi, captain, are you angels

Angel
hey here’s an idea now that the party vibe was killed by kyoutani jumping off a roof into a pool (thanks man) how about we grab every blanket and pillow in sight and make a fort

hanger tooru
THATS AN EXCELLENT IDEA

bye felicia
fuck yes i’m keen

fresher than u
no thanks

Angel
@kunimi you’ll get to sleep

fresher than u
okay i’m in

hanger tooru
okay kyoutani, yahaba, iwa, here are your blankets they’re woolen so you can warm up quick

Iwaizumi Hajime
good thinking

hanger tooru
you should probably also huddle up too yahaba’s shivering quite a lot over here

Iwaizumi Hajime
okay
c’mere you two

Yahabinch
nope, not happening

Mad Dog
no way

Iwaizumi Hajime
yes this is happening now shut up and cuddle

Leggy
this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen

bye felica
Iwaizumi has his arms around his two pouting trouble children like a mama bear I think I might get toothache

hanger tooru
hold on, i HAVE to get a picture of this

Iwaizumi Hajime
smile for the camera, you too

Mad Dog
Ngngnnhn

Yahabinch
Fuck you, dad

Iwaizumi Hajime
yeah, yeah
hey, @ the rest of you
get in here, it’s dad time

leggy
Fuck yes

bye felicia
ITS REAL TIME DAD HOURS NOW

hanger tooru
IM COMING I WANT IN ON THE CUDDLE PILE

Angel
incoming!!!

Iwaizumi Hajime
@kunimi, @kindaichi, you get in here too

hanger tooru
there’s a space for you over here!!

corn cob
Aaaa okay!!!

fresher than u
ugh fine
ew you’re all so warm and sweaty and smell like alcohol

hanger tooru
no complaining this is team bonding

Yahabinch
@hanamaki your foot is in my face

bye felicia
and your point is?

leggy
mmm get that foot in MY face

bye felicia
at least someone around here appreciates me

Mad Dog
who the hell is spooning me

Angel
me, lol
hey, can kindaichi breathe

hanger tooru
he’ll be fine don’t worry
oh, kunimi’s already passed out

leggy
what an icon

bye felicia
we stan a sleepy legend

Yahabinch
hey guys i’m also gonna pass the fuck out but i just wanna say it
i really love this team

hanger tooru
AWWWW YAHABA ME TOO

bye felicia
bithc... me too

leggy
big mood

Angel
I love you guys!!!!

Mad Dog
could be worse

corn cob
This is the best team ever <3

hanger tooru
hey and you know what the best team ever would do?

Angel
… what

hanger tooru
watch the x-files with me

Iwaizumi Hajime
NO, OIKAWA

Chapter Text

 

Meme Dream Team
6.00AM
hanger tooru
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE RISE AND SHINE! THE SPRING HIGH HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN AND WE HAVE A MORNING OF PRACTICE AHEAD OF US!

leggy
hey oikawa. do you know how close i am to killing you rn
it’s ass o clock in the fucking morning

bye felicia
dude i am so fucking hungover
@matsukawa can u kill me instead. pls i crave death

leggy
u know i would but everything is spinning
hey. am i still drunk
where even am i. why is kunimi using my legs as a pillow
is the whole team here?

hanger tooru
you all stayed over last night from the party! It made sense since I live so close to school.

bye felicia
school? why do we have to go to school its a saturday

leggy
oh wait jesus dont tell me

hanger tooru
for morning practice of course!!!

Mad Dog
Ugugughghghghhhhhhhhhh

bye felicia
yeah me too buddy

leggy
cheers ill drink to that bro

corn cob
Please don’t mention alcohol, I am so close to throwing up already

Angel
hey oikawa how are you even functioning atm

hanger tooru
oh! did i not mention that i don’t get hangovers?

Iwaizumi Hajime
he’s been like this his whole life the asshole

Angel
captain no offence? but i hate you

bye felicia
shit i guess vegan superpowers are real

hanger tooru
awwww watacchi is that any way to talk to anyone who’s making you all breakfast?

Angel
I take it all back. you’re the best captain in the whole entire world

hanger tooru
I know (:

OKAY EVERYONE GET UP NOW or you’ll miss out on coffee and you’ll die

fresher than u
hnnnn

Mad Dog
I think yahaba is still asleep

hanger tooru
you’ll have to wake him up then kyouken otherwise he’ll miss out

Mad Dog
idk about u but that sounds like…. a Bad Idea

hanger tooru
suit yourself i guess
@kunimi you’re up first i made vegan coffee and breakfast burrito for us bc i know you’re lactose intolerant

fresher than u
thanks captain but u know u didn’t have to do that
Ill eat dairy i wont complain

hanger tooru
KUNIMI NO
no eating dairy!!!!!!

fresher than u
captain... listen….. sometimes life is short and u want Milkshake

hanger tooru
I can’t have you missing practice bc you have the shits!!!

fresher than u
live fast die young drink milk
id punch god in the face if i could

bye felicia
cheers ill drink to that bro

leggy
hanamaki i always used that meme this morning u bitch

bye felicia
i have made a fatal error

leggy
blood pact rules mean u have to die instantly

bye felicia
sounds good

Mad Dog
hey captain can i grab two coffees and two of those breakfast burritos

hanger tooru
coming right up!!!

leggy
i’ve never seen kyoutani so Soft
look at him with his smudged eyeliner and sleepy eyes
all wrapped up in his blanket

bye felicia
A burrito for a burrito……

fresher than u
do u guys have a death wish or something

leggy
nah i think it’s the alcohol talking
like i said i;m still drunk
keep up freshman

bye felicia
oh my god he just put the second coffee and burrito down next to sleeping beauty yahaba

leggy
im CRYING our boy is so SOFT in the mornings

bye felicia
get me a man life that

leggy
somebody wife him

hanger tooru
hello??? where’s this praise for the man busting his ass in the kitchen for you?

Iwaizumi Hajime
you’re a domestic goddess

hanger tooru
at least SOMEONE around here appreciates me

Iwaizumi Hajime
just shut up and drink your almond milk coffee you idiot

hanger tooru
love you too iwa <3

Angel
yall are so weird

Mad Dog
seconded

fresher than u
thirded

hanger tooru
yeah yeah yeah
eat up team!! we’re getting in my mum’s minivan in 10mins
and can someone pls wake up yahaba
or do i have to do everything around here

leggy
yes

bye felicia
yes

Mad Dog
yes

Angel
yes

fresher than u
yes

Iwaizumi Hajime
just do it, tooru

 

Meme Dream Team
6.20AM

bye felicia
OIKAWA HOW ARE YOU THIS BAD AT DRIVING

Iwaizumi Hajime
he’s gay

leggy
he’s gay

corn cob
i feel like i’m going to throw up again….

Yahabinch
NO! NOT ON ME GET AWAY

Angel
pls let us just get to this practice alive

 

Meme Dream Team
6.30AM

hanger tooru
okay team let’s get into it right away with some stretches

bye felicia
oikawa no offence but i don’t think my body can move

hanger tooru
hmm. okay.
gimme one second

Iwaizumi Hajime
youve done it now

bye felicia
oh fuck wait what is he going to do

leggy
please dont tell me that’s the speaker system he’s messing with

Iwaizumi Hajime
TOORU

fresher than u
oh god my head hurts

Angel
Is that
ninki minjaj

hanger tooru
it’s motivational (:

leggy
i want to remove your head from your shoulders

hanger tooru
shut up matsun nicki is a QUEEN
and her new album is fire

bye felicia
let’s go to the beach beach

hanger tooru
come on makki you know this is barbie tingz not starships

bye felicia
Ajsbfkajdbkagd okay nicki stan

hanger tooru
u cant talk makki we all know you’re an ariana stan

bye felicia
and what about it?

corn cob
Hey captain?

hanger tooru
yes kindaichi my favourite freshman?

fresher than u
hey now

corn cob
If this is the first day of the spring high, why are we not practicing and not observing other matches?

hanger tooru
excellent question my favourite freshman
according to my intel, the interesting matches don’t happen til the afternoon so we have the morning free to do some last minute tuning of our combos and things

Yahabinch
Where’s your intel from?

hanger tooru
lmao just the captains groupchat and the other groupchat

fresher than u
what’s the other groupchat

hanger tooru
the one with all volleyball third years

leggy
oh yeah, the daichi fuck club

Yahabinch
The what

hanger tooru
but yeah, all the matches this morning are boring ones between teams that lost in the first rounds
but me and iwa are heading out after practice to check out the other ones if anyone wants to join us!

Yahabinch
I’m sorry the what

bye felicia
i might pass, i think i need to go home and crash after this

leggy
yeah same here

Yahabinch
IM SORRY THE WHAT

hanger tooru
Okay team back to practice!

Yahabinch
Im s o r r y the wh a t

 

Daichi Fuck Club (+99 notifications)
7.02AM

longcat
good morning kings lets get this bread

only bottoms for love
kuroo can you please shut the fuck up

longcat
1.next question

ho(o)t
RT if you’d bottom for daichi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

longcat
not a question but rt

only bottoms for love
rt

grand twink
rt

volleyball jesus
rt

goddess amongst swine
rt

arms for days
RT

ushiwaka
rt.

[Cut for length]

 

8.08AM

ho(o)t
anyways!! happy spring high!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

longcat
oya oya get ready to eat shit >:3c

ushiwaka
Please do not eat shit. It would put you in very bad health for the tournament

ho(ot)
thanks ushi you’re so smart <3

grand twink
shut up ushiwaka
and lmao yeah right you cats are about to get crushed

longcat
um actually eat my goddamn ass, grand twink

grand twink
i don’t eat ass, kuroo, i’m vegan

guess fucker
so you don’t eat ass, meat or pussy
does that make you dj khalid

ushiwaka
It makes you a bad sexual partner

guess fucker
SJAKJGBGS NICE ONE USHI

ushiwaka
Thank you, Tendou

loser
hey guys, for the last fucking time, why am i here

longcat
because you’re a bitch

ho(ot)
because all third years are in the daichi fuck club!!

longcat
that includes you, daishou

loser
I don’t even know who ‘daichi’ is
and who the fuck changed my username again

longcat
you can’t escape daishou we’re here until we die

 

Meme Dream Team
8.32AM

corn cob
Guyd
Guys
Influenza
InFLUenza
the flu

fresher than u
oh my god

corn cob
I think i need a moment

fresher than u
kindaichi no offence but you’re so fucking stupid

 

10.12AM

hanger tooru
gimme one sec

[Oikawa Tooru removed Yahaba Shigeru from the chat]
[Oikawa Tooru removed Kyoutani Kentarou from the chat]

bye felicia
wig
what’s the tea sis

hanger tooru
there is no tea (unless anyone wants to share) im just concerned!!!
Has anyone else noticed that they’ve both been acting really weird this morning

Angel
yeah, i have actually

Iwaizumi Hajime
acting weird how?

hanger tooru
yahaba has been extra snappy today and kyoutani has been super closed off! And they haven’t said a single word to each other all morning, not even to pick a fight!! they just completely avoided each other!!

and they were doing so well up til now…

Angel
neither of them laughed when kunimi told everyone that kindaichi only exclusively listens to coldplay and imagine dragons

leggy
that was peak comedy right there
but how do you know that wasn’t just because of their evil, rampaging hangovers?

hanger tooru
trust me, i know when something is out of balance with the setter and his ace

Angel
i can talk to yahaba later about it when he isnt all murder-y because of his probable alcohol poisoning

hanger tooru
no its okay watari, i can do it
setter to setter
captain to captain

bye felicia
oh shit!!!!!!

Iwaizumi Hajime
and i’ll talk to kyoutani

hanger tooru
thank you <3
now quick, makki, matsun!!! flood the chat with memes so they dont see it when i add them back!!!

bye felicia
fuck yeeeeeah lets do this

[Cut for length]