Five. Five men had died under his watch today.
The responsibility of a being a leader weighed down on him. He would not cry, he would not mourn. He would show no outward signs of how hard this really hit him. He was humanity's strongest. How would the squad feel if they found out that the person they trusted their lives with wasn't as strong as they all thought he was.
wouldn't couldn't feel. That wasn't his purpose. The only thing he needed to do was kill. He needed to be alone until he could get these emotions under control.
Eren knew all this. Heichou needed time. Time to think, time to calm down, time to be alone so he could come out again and look at his men with that unreadable mask he always wore.
Eren knew this. He knew this and yet...somehow his legs had taken him to where his heart wanted to be but his mind didn't. Now here he was, standing outside of Levi's office staring at the door unsure of what to do. He stood there for a good five minutes, mind in turmoil, when he heard a low, barely audible moan emit from within the room. Eren froze, not sure if he had imagined the sound he'd just heard.
He crept closer and leaned an ear against the door.
"What the fuck are you doing?" growled an irate voice.
Eren jumped. His mind raced to find some plausible excuse when he realized that the question had not been directed at him.
"...I forgot to lock the door." said a voice Eren recognized all too well.
Eren's eyes widened. Whatever response that statement procurred was lost as Eren straightened up, turned, and nearly sprinted down the hallway, desperately trying to forget what he'd heard. He wasn't quite fast enough as he heard one last parting moan as he rounded the corner.