Yuehan knew that sitting in a bar the week before his birthday, considering the things he had planned for that auspicious day, wasn't the best of ideas, but when Jianci invited him out, Yuehan just couldn't say no. Mostly because things had been unbearably boring since Yaoyao had taken off to film his drama, but also because Yuehan found very little more entertaining than a drunk Jianci.
Though, in all honesty, Yuehan seemed in much more of a hurry to get drunk that night.
"Celebrating early or something?" Jianci asked incredulously as Yuehan ordered his sixth bottle.
Yuehan turned and waggled his eyebrows. "A man's birthday only comes once a year. Why not extend the party a little?" Shaking his head, Jianci nursed his first bottle thoughtfully. Yuehan cheered as his beer arrived and took a long drink. "Besides," he continued, "You're the one who called me out to drink, but you've barely touched your beer." He eyed the insultingly full bottle in Jianci's hand and Jianci laughed quietly.
"I called you here mostly to talk, but that's easier to do when we drink."
No argument there. Yuehan shrugged and this time sipped his beer. He may have been well on his way to stinking drunk, but Yuehan could still think a little. At least enough to recognize that Jianci rarely ever called him to talk. That was usually what Jianci relied on Xiaoxin for. Xiaoxin was better at the serious stuff.
Then again, Xiaoxin was pretty occupied with his own emotional stuff recently. Yuehan rolled his eyes but tried to remember that Xiaoxin was his friend, that Yaoyao was his best friend, and as such Yuehan needed to tolerate their stupid relationship drama and, if he could, be supportive.
Yeah, Jianci's issues were probably easier to deal with at the moment.
"So what's up?" he asked, trying to sound concerned through his noticeably slurred words.
Jianci raised an eyebrow and drummed his fingers against his bottle. "Suddenly I'm not so sure you'll remember in the morning if I tell you."
Chuckling, Yuehan shrugged again. "Your fault for saying we were going to drink. Your fault for not stopping me sooner. If it's something big I'll probably remember."
"It's pretty big." The tone of dread in Jianci's voice was surprising. Surprising enough to make Yuehan set down his drink. Jianci caught him looking and tried to laugh, but it didn't come out quite right. "Since you came, I'll tell you. It won't be so bad if you forget anyway."
With how damn serious Jianci looked and how much effort it was taking for him to say it, Yuehan wasn't so sure he wanted to know, but he kept his mouth shut.
Jianci just stared at his bottle. "I'm gay."
There was a subtle roaring in Yuehan's ears and he blinked. "Excuse me?"
The blush steadily rising on Jianci's cheeks should have been indication enough, but Jianci repeated, a little louder: "Gay. Gay like the time you went into Xiaoxin and Yaoyao's room and spent the rest of the night crying on Wang Hao's shoulder."
"But you're gay?"
"You like guys?"
Jianci clicked his tongue and glared at Yuehan. "Yes, you fucking idiot."
Yuehan was so confused he wasn't even insulted. "But... does Xiaoxin know?" Why on earth that mattered, Yuehan had no idea. It was the first thing that popped into his head.
"Yes," Jianci sighed. "And Yaoyao. And Wang Hao. And our manager. And pretty much all of our friends."
Now Yuehan was shaking his head because the bar seemed to be spinning. "Wang Hao knows?" he practically squeaked.
"Wang Hao was the second person I told, after Xiaoxin." Jianci took a deep drink, draining the remainder of his beer in one go. "The only person who didn't know was you."
The bar continued to spin, the bottles lining the shelves glittering brightly in the dim lights, fading from view as he slid from his stool and crashed to the floor.
It turned out that Jianci's announcement was indeed big enough that Yuehan didn't forget the next morning. A discovery which, admittedly, Yuehan met with total disappointment. Jianci texted him the next day to check up on how he was dealing with his hangover, and Yuehan didn't have the heart to text back that the shock from Jianci's news was somehow cancelling out any discomfort from his night of drinking. He ended up not replying at all.
That night, Jianci called, and Yuehan turned off his phone.
Yuehan knew he was being an irrational asshole. He'd witnessed his best friend in bed with another man and nothing had changed between them. Sure, Yuehan hadn't been able to look Yaoyao straight in the eye for somewhere around a week, but that was more due to the fact that it turned out Yaoyao was fucking loud in bed, and those sounds weren't something Yuehan could forget easily. Or ever, really. But in the end even being awkward and slightly scarred for life hadn't put a damper on his friendship with Yaoyao or Xiaoxin, so why was Jianci so different?
But fitting Jianci into the definitions he'd created for Yaoyao and Xiaoxin didn't fit. Jianci liking guys was an abstract thought. Jianci fucking guys was far less abstract and something Yuehan found himself ruminating over a little too much for his liking. Seeing too much of Yaoyao and Xiaoxin's relationship wasn't proving extremely inconvenient.
Perhaps that was why Yuehan was avoiding Jianci. Yuehan knew something was different this time, and he couldn't put his finger on why. And that made him more uncomfortable than the memories of Yaoyao's sex noises.
The week slipped by in a guilty, frustrated blur. By the time his birthday rolled around, Yuehan was tempted to cancel the party, except that it would have been even more obvious that he was avoiding Jianci if he went that far. Yuehan had spent the week hopping around various friends' houses and going back to the apartment only when necessary. Wang Hao was already leaving Yuehan less than pleased messages that were edging on threats. An hour before the party, Wang Hao caught Yuehan in the kitchen and cornered him.
"You haven't been back all week," was all he said, but Yuehan knew that tone.
"I've been busy?" he replied with a laugh. Wang Hao glared and went to the fridge for a bottle of water.
"But you'd never be too busy to miss out on your own birthday party, right?" Wang Hao didn't turn to catch Yuehan's answer, but stalked off to his own room. Yuehan sighed heavily and admitted defeat.
Two hours into the party, Yuehan wasn't sure why the hell he'd been so worried. Jianci was there, of course, but there was nothing weird about it. Jianci didn't even acknowledge how Yuehan had been ignored him the past week. Maybe he understood that Yuehan would take some time to accept it. Jianci was understanding like that. Yuehan was grinning all night as he downed more alcohol than he knew he should.
Jianci may not have been acting any different, but Yuehan couldn't say the same for himself. Knowing Jianci's secret was warping how Yuehan viewed things. Their parties always involved a lot of flirting and a lot of girls, and Yuehan had witnessed Jianci flirting with girls before and never questioned it. Tonight, as he spied Jianci on the couch, a pretty girl Yuehan didn't know cuddling up next to him, the picture struck an odd chord.
Sidling over, Yuehan sat on the arm of the couch and grinned down at the pair. "Ah, come on, don't waste your time," he chuckled at the girl. Her eyebrows knit together, but she didn't move.
"Yuehan," Jianci said, low and angry. "Go away."
Yuehan frowned. "What? Just thought I should warn her." He giggled. "You shouldn't be so misleading." He reached out and ruffled Jianci's hair, only to have the hand slapped away. "Aw, come on, I was just--"
A hand, much stronger than Jianci's, grabbed Yuehan's shoulder and pulled him back. He almost stumbled and fell, but Wang Hao caught him and dragged him away from the couch. Once they were in the kitchen, he locked Yuehan in a glare. "You need to stop," he growled.
Yuehan's mouth opened and closed, no words coming because his brain couldn't keep up when he was this drunk and this confused. He was grateful when a third person entered the kitchen, though immediately less so when he was who it was.
"I'll talk to him," Jianci muttered and Wang Hao's eyebrows raised in surprise. He didn't question Jianci, and stepped around the two of them to rejoin the party. The kitchen was still close enough that they had to keep their voices low not to make a scene. "Are you stupid?"
Balking, Yuehan nearly pouted. "I don't see what's the big deal. I was just kidding."
"You don't kid with Yaoyao."
Yuehan couldn't argue with that.
"I don't know what I was thinking, okay! I'm fucking drunk." Yuehan frowned and scratched his head. A perfectly good party was going down hill fast. "I just found out my friend is gay; you can't expect me not to act weird for a while."
Jianci's eyes watched Yuehan closely, which was terribly uncomfortable. "How the hell are you so surprised? We've known each other for i>years. None of the others were surprised."
Yuehan just continued to rub his head as he started to pace in a circle. "I don't know!"
Leaning against the counter, Jianci crossed his arms. "Frankly I'd always expected you to come out first."
That stopped Yuehan's pacing so suddenly he stumbled. "Come out of what?"
Jianci laughed out loud. "Oh please. I get that you're straight, but you are the gayest straight guy I've ever known. Whenever we travel you end up sleeping in my bed regardless of whether we're sharing a room. Hell, most mornings I wake up to you in my bed here. You can't blame me for thinking otherwise."
All of the words jumbled together and bounced off the walls of Yuehan's skull. Okay, sure, he wasn't exactly shy about touching guys, especially his guy friends. Especially Jianci, because Jianci had a level of silliness Yuehan could relate to and, yes, Yuehan did tent to sleep in Jianci's room a lot. Being around Yaoyao and Xiaoxin for years without knowing about them had had confusing results. And of course none of it really bothered him, not like it did his more conservative friends. He was pretty open-minded. Now and then, when he watched Xiaoxin and Yaoyao together, Yuehan could see the draw of what they had.
Yuehan groaned and shook his head vigorously. Jianci laughed again, crossing over to grab Yuehan's arm as he beat his head with his fist. "Come on, is it that bad?" Jianci leaned in and rested his chin on Yuehan's shoulder, his hand still holding Yuehan's wrist gently. The gesture was familiar, but as he turned to find Jianci's face so close, it felt very, very different. Jianci's eyes drifted down, glancing briefly at Yuehan's mouth. "Don't tell me you've never thought about it."
"Wh-what," he stammered. Actually, no, he hadn't thought about it, but suddenly he was, and a lot.
Okay, maybe he had thought about it a little, but that was normal when you found out your friend was gay, right?
This was all too fucking confusing.
The hand around his wrist let go, but the fingers maintained contact with the skin as they moved upwards, brushing against the line of Yuehan's forearm. "Technically, it's not so different from being with a girl. But it feels different. Good different." Jianci's voice was so low he was practically whispering, his breath ghosting against Yuehan's neck and ear. He shuddered and Jianci chuckled, the fingers on his arm disappearing only to move to his stomach. The touch tickled, but Yuehan's breath hitched when Jianci's hand shifted just a tiny bit lower.
A smug look on his face, Jianci straightened up and backed away. "See? You're a fucking hypocrite."
Yuehan's face went bright red, but he reached out and grabbed Jianci by the arm before he could leave. Yeah, Jianci had proven his point, and Yuehan felt completely stupid and more than a little confused, but Yuehan wasn't about to let it go yet. Leading Jianci out of the kitchen, Yuehan shot Wang Hao a look over the crowd of heads in the living room and even paused to turn up the volume on the stereo just a little before he all but shoved Jianci down the hallway. At least Jianci didn't put up much of a resistance, just staring at Yuehan incredulously as he was pushed into the bedroom.
Closing the door behind him, Yuehan took a deep breath before he turned to Jianci, grinning at Jianci's confused frown. "What?" he asked, shrugging. "You win." Before Jianci could protest, Yuehan grabbed Jianci's wrist and yanked him forwards, effectively closing the distance between them again. "Time to stop being a hypocrite." He wasn't sure what he was doing exactly, but Yuehan found he liked having Jianci against him. He kissed Jianci's neck, right below his ear, and giggled at how Jianci tensed.
"But you--" Jianci murmured.
"It's just like you said," Yuehan interjected. He was surprised but proud at how calm his voice sound, what with how the tension had started in the kitchen only seemed to be getting worse. "This isn't so bad at all." He breathed in deeply and found he liked the slightly fruity smell of Jianci's shampoo. It was familiar and yet, at the moment, intoxicating. He pulled away just enough to give Jianci another shove, effectively knocking him back onto the bed.
Jianci yelped, but as Yuehan climbed over him he couldn't help but notice the slight smile pulling at the corners of Jianci's mouth. "I suppose I owe you a birthday present." Yuehan nearly growled when Jianci's hands climbed up Yuehan's legs to hook in his belt loops. The alcohol clouding his brain and the pleasantly warm feeling coursing through his veins was making words difficult, so he replied with a small smile before he leaned in for a kiss.
Being a total fucking hypocrite was working pretty well so far.
As pleasant as the kissing was-- and, as Jianci had suggested, it wasn't all too different from kissing a girl-- Yuehan growled in pleasant surprise when Jianci's hands yanked up his shirt, tugging so hard it hurt a little when they finally managed to get it over Yuehan's head. Immediately those hands moved to Yuehan's skin, and Yuehan hissed as Jianci dragged his nails across his stomach. Yuehan almost wanted to try and get Jianci's shirt off, too, but Jianci's hands were already moving to Yuehan's jeans and every slight touch caused by his struggle with the zipper made Yuehan gasp and push into the touch.
"You're making this hard," Jianci grumbled and used his free hand to slap Yuehan's hip.
"You're making me hard," Yuehan retorted with a proud smile.
Jianci rolled his eyes as he continued struggling. "Gayest straight man ever."
Yuehan wanted to reply that maybe Jianci was just special, but that was when Jianci finally managed to get Yuehan's pants unzipped and the hand that slipped inside proved extremely distracting. All thoughts-- and words-- flew from Yuehan's mind as Jianci yanked down both Yuehan's jeans and his boxers enough to wrap his fingers around Yuehan's cock. When those fingers started moving, a slow, hard stroke, Yuehan cursed and Jianci just laughed. The sound was unusually low and quiet, and Yuehan's cock twitched in Jianci's hand.
"You know I'm so drunk even this could probably get me off in five seconds, right?"
The corner of Jianci's mouth twitched, probably in annoyance. Yuehan just grinned down and pushed into Jianci's hand, completely intent on enjoying every moment of this. Jianci's free hand slid up to Yuehan's waist, and suddenly Yuehan found himself against the bed instead. Jianci crouched over him and grinned like some kind of evil cat. "You come early and I'll make you blow me," Jianci growled as he leaned in to nip at Yuehan's neck. Everything felt so damn good that Yuehan barely comprehended the words. Coming in general sounded pretty good right now.
Well, what could he say to that? Talking was too difficult and not really worth the effort, so instead Yuehan wrapped his arms around Jianci and pulled him closer. Jianci all but fell onto Yuehan, but Yuehan didn't mind. It was much easier to pull Jianci into another kiss this way, taking his time and getting used to be so close to Jianci. Even the way he kissed was surprisingly Jianci-like, just a little weird and unpredictable. Jianci looked confused when Yuehan finally stopped, more because he needed air than actually wanting to stop, and Yuehan shrugged. "What? I'm not just doing this because I'm drunk and horny, you know." The way Jianci's eyebrows raised in clear surprise left Yuehan utterly offended. "I have plenty of options if I want to get laid. Honestly I didn't think this could ever happen, but considering all week I've..."
Yuehan stopped abruptly, but Jianci raised his eyebrows again.
"Kind of... been thinking about this..." Yuehan groaned and pulled Jianci in for another kiss. One would think there'd been enough embarrassment for the evening, but apparently not. Jianci seemed happy to let it go at least for now, and Yuehan could have sworn Jianci kissed him just a little bit harder. Jianci slid his tongue along Yuehan's in a way that made his toes curl.
At some point the kissing stopped and Jianci was sucking and biting his way down Yuehan's neck. Yuehan had just enough time to grab Jianci's shirt and pull it halfway off, falling back to the bed in failure but laughing the entire time. Jianci shot him an exasperated look but finished removing his shirt, smiling just a little. Yuehan felt happy and conflicted at seeing all of Jianci's skin, because it wasn't the first time, not even close, but this was such a new situation that it felt like the first time he was really seeing Jianci. Running his hands slowing up Jianci's sides, he grinned at how Jianci growled quietly and moved to encourage more touching. His hands wandered over Jianci's stomach and Jianci hissed when they brushed against his nipple.
The last thing he expected was for Jianci to move away. Yuehan's head span as Jianci stepped away from the bed, and the dizziness only worsened when Jianci grabbed his jeans and dragged them the rest of the way off. His boxers followed, and all Yuehan could manage was a horse laugh when he found himself naked. He was about to joke, but Jianci didn't waste any time removing the rest of his clothes as well, and words didn't seem worth it after that. Jianci crawled back over Yuehan and not touching all of that skin was impossible. Jianci certainly didn't seem to mind the touching, either; with that smug smile and the low, pleased sounds he was making, he was practically purring. "Your lube's in the bottom drawer, right?" he asked as he leaned forward to rifle through Yuehan's nightstand. Yuehan didn't bother to ask how in the world Jianci knew where his lube was, choosing to take advantage of the moment and gently bite Jianci's nipple. Jianci jerked a little and slapped Yuehan's head as he returned with the lube in hand, but Yuehan didn't miss the light blush on his friend's face.
Yuehan thought about trying to help, but in his current state he'd likely fuck everything up. Watching Jianci pour the liquid onto his hand was mildly fascinating anyway, and Yuehan gasped when that hand wrapped around his cock again. The lube felt cold compared to how overheated Yuehan was, but his hips still arched into Jianci's hand as it stroked him methodically. Above him, Jianci shifted just a little. Yuehan's hands instinctively moved to Jianci's hips and his eyes remained locked on Jianci's face as he slowly lowered himself onto Yuehan's cock.
Something like a curse escaped Jianci's mouth as he inhaled sharply, and Yuehan did actually curse out loud, every profane word and phrase he knew slipping out as tight heat surrounded him. It felt like forever until Jianci was settled, Yuehan buried inside to the hilt. Neither of them said a word, but Yuehan couldn't help but smile and Jianci, terribly flushed, smiled back.
The music from the living room was pulsing through the walls. Yuehan wasn't surprised that, as he started moving, Jianci did so to the beat of the music. Once a dancer, always a dancer. The smooth movements of Jianci's hips and back were evidence enough of that. Yuehan growled and held on tighter while Jianci rode him; even if Jianci were willing to let Yuehan take control, which Yuehan doubted, Yuehan couldn't imagine he could do better than this. Jianci leaned back a little and Yuehan gasped as his cock seemed to push deeper with every roll of Jianci's hips. His nails dug into the small of Jianci's back and moved to grab Jianci by the ass, holding him closer as he tried to meet Jianci's movements. There was no way he could be so rhythmic or smooth about it, but Jianci didn't seem to mind. He groaned and his muscles contracted around Yuehan's cock, earning another curse. Yuehan wanted to try and get that same response again, and hopefully again and again, but Jianci had other ideas. Before Yuehan could recover properly, Jianci started moving faster, his movements less fluid than before. The bed creaked beneath them and Yuehan's head fell back against the mattress. Jianci smiled briefly, but couldn't hold the expression.
Yuehan's hands returned to Jianci's sides, but he didn't try to match Jianci's movements anymore. Jianci had won in every way possible tonight, and Yuehan couldn't say he minded. Not when Jianci was so damn good at this. It almost made him a little jealous, because he highly doubted Jianci could be this good without a good deal of practice. Not that Yuehan had any right to be jealous, but he didn't mind the feeling.
Instead he reached out and this time Jianci came to him. Yuehan's arms wrapped around him and being this close forced Jianci to slow down enough that Yuehan could keep up. Yuehan kissed him and muffled Jianci's surprised cry when Yuehan suddenly sped up again. Holding Jianci firmly in place, he thrust into Jianci hard, ignoring his own moans getting louder as Jianci tightened around him.
Sneaking a hand between them, Yuehan stroked Jianci in time with his thrusts. Jianci's nails dug into his skin and the burn made Yuehan growl. Jianci tensed up one last time, this time so tightly that Yuehan's eyes fell closed. Jianci moaned against Yuehan's neck as he came. Yuehan rocked against Jianci slowly until Jianci's breathing evened a little. Then he lifted Jianci off of him, moving so quickly he surprised even himself. Jianci had just enough time to yelp before Yuehan was up and behind him. Yuehan pressed a few kisses against Jianci's spine before he pushed back inside. He wasted no time, fucking Jianci so hard he knew it had to hurt a little, especially when Jianci was so sensitive, but he knew it wouldn't be for long. In this position it was all too easy to rush straight into his own orgasm. He practically saw stars as his entire body tightened and he moaned Jianci's name as he came inside him.
Yuehan was still panting and buried inside Jianci when a breathy, none-too-pleased voice called him out of his reverie, "Excuse me, but I'd like to move sometime soon."
"Sorry," Yuehan wheezed, pulling away and falling face-first onto the bed beside Jianci. He heard his friend grunt and shift uncomfortably before settling down as well. He cracked an eye open and knew he was smiling a bit too much. Jianci returned the smile by rolling his eyes. "Come on, how can you be angry after that?" Yuehan sighed happily and grabbed Jianci in a tight hug. They were both terribly sweaty and hot, but Yuehan didn't care. It was his birthday, after all.
Jianci grumbled and struggled in Yuehan's arms, but eventually gave up. "I'm not angry," he muttered. He shot Yuehan a quick glare before a grin spread across his face. "Far from it, actually."
"Good," Yuehan replied with a satisfied nod. He buried his face against Jianci's shoulder and closed his eyes. He sighed happily ans snuggled closer. This wasn't too far off from how they usually slept together. Just usually they weren't naked, covered in various bodily fluids and totally spent from sex. Close enough. Yuehan couldn't say he disliked the changes to their usually routine.
As a matter of fact, Yuehan was very tempted to go right to sleep. "Um, Yuehan," Jianci said, poking his side. Yuehan grunted, but refused to open his eyes. "Shouldn't we go back to the party?"
"What party?" Yuehan practically whined.
"Your birthday party?"
Yuehan's eyes blinked open and he stared blankly at Jianci a moment. Then he shrugged and closed them again. "Wang Hao can handle it."
Jianci sighed heavily, but made no attempt to move. "Happy birthday, idiot." Yuehan smiled sleepily, shifting even closer as Jianci kissed him.