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You Never Call Me Moony When We're Alone

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"Are you hurt?" Remus shouted as Sirius fell to the floor as soon as they apparated into their flat.

"Yes. My shoulder," Sirius growled, wishing he had been just a little faster before that Death Eater cursed him.

"Hold still," Remus said, kneeling on the floor and lifting up the arm of Sirius's robes to get a good look at his shoulder.

"Can you fix it?" Sirius asked.

Remus stared down at Sirius with concern. His honey-brown hair was matted with sweat and dirt. He had a cut on his lip.

"I don't know. I don't think so. I'll send for help," Remus said.

Sirius closed his eyes and felt darkness overtake him.

Sirius awoke to morning light pouring in from the bedroom window of their flat. All was silent. He felt exhausted but his shoulder didn't hurt anymore and there were no marks. He was lying in bed, shirtless and in those muggle pyjama bottoms Remus had bought him as part of their goal of fitting in while they lived so close to Muggles. Sirius groaned and Remus darted into the room.

"You're awake. Thank Merlin. I was getting worried," Remus said, coming over to Sirius's side.

"It seems I've been well tended to," Sirius said faintly.

"I sent for a healer as fast as I could. You'll be as good as new after some rest," Remus said.

"Cheers. Merlin, what would I do without you, Remus?" Sirius asked.

Remus made a small smile, his perfect mouth full of tenderness, the cut from the night before already healing well.

"Dumbledore thinks we should be careful for a few days. No going outside the flat unless we absolutely have to," Remus said.

"James and Lily? Peter?" Sirius asked, the chaos of the night before replaying in his mind.

"Are all fine and accounted for. Would you like some tea?" Remus asked.

"Yes. Please," Sirius asked and Remus exited the bedroom.

Sirius sighed. His chest felt tight and a pain entirely unrelated to his cursed shoulder arose in his mind. The true curse of his mind was the secret he carried. It had been eating him alive for years. It wasn't his fault, not really. One couldn't control their own emotions. He couldn't control the hideousness inside of himself, that dirty thing his mother had always suspected was there. Muggleborns at Hogwarts had a word for it: gay.

That's what Sirius was. Gay. He had been repeating the word inside of his head for years, hoping that the more he said it the more at ease he would feel. But it didn't make him feel any better. His mother was still in his head, spewing slurs, hate and insults.

Sirius started going to a gay club for Muggles in London, thinking that community would make him feel better. He got lots of attention. He was young and good looking. Sirius had never doubted his looks. Girls at Hogwarts had fawned over him. He tried having a girlfriend in fourth year but he couldn't do it. He couldn't fake it, no matter how much he tried.

The men at the club were good looking and vivacious. Many of them were no doubt experienced in the sorts of things that Sirius had only dreamed and fantasised about, late at night in his bed in the Gryffindor dormitory. Sirius could've gone home with someone but it wouldn't have felt right. Because of him… Because of Remus.

It was only natural that Sirius fell for Remus Lupin. He was good looking, a little reserved but not too reserved, dangerous and taboo in way that would make his mother faint and he was completely and utterly emotionally unavailable. Sirius couldn't blame Remus for keeping such a tight control over himself. He was a werewolf, for Merlin's sake.

Remus was the last one to find out Sirius was gay. James had naturally got the first honour. He earned that right as his best mate and brother in spirit. After the thing with the girl in fourth year fizzled out, James asked and Sirius answered truthfully, feeling like an enormous weight had been lifted off of him.

Peter found out in fifth year. Sirius still wasn't sure how Peter found out. James swore he never told Peter and there was no way James would lie or break his trust. Perhaps, Peter heard a rumour and he had merely decided to trust it.

Sirius had avoided letting Remus know for as long as he could. Remus knowing he was gay was one step too close to Remus knowing that he was in love with him. Sirius couldn't risk the friendship by ever letting Remus know how he felt.

Sirius could tell that James and Peter had tired of keeping the secret and even Lily seemed distressed as she abhorred keeping things from her best friend. So, Sirius did it. I'm gay. The last day of seventh year he said the words, flatly, succinctly and without warning. Yeah, had been Remus's only reply. He didn't seem surprised. His face showed nothing at all, his brown eyes turning out towards the lake.

Sirius had built the whole thing up in his head. For a moment he had allowed himself to envision a scenario where Remus was overjoyed and proclaimed his undying love for Sirius and they kissed by the lake, not fearing who was watching.

Instead they said nothing else about it. That was six months ago. Now he and Remus were hiding out in a London flat. They were living together. It was Remus's idea. Let's give James and Lily some space, he'd said. They took turns sleeping on the sofa or sleeping on the bed. Sirius had cried himself to sleep more times than he could possibly count. The pain of being so close to the one you love so wholly absent of intimacy or reciprocity was a torment that no person should find themself burdened with.

He still feared Remus finding out the truth that he secretly carried. What if Remus freaked out and abandoned him? The thought of being at Order meetings with Remus and Remus avoiding even looking at Sirius wounded Sirius more than he could take.

The war did make for an occasional distraction. When things were busy there wasn't much time for pining. But then things got quiet, say after a dangerous night on the job and an injury after which Dumbledore tells them to stay inside… together.

When things weren't busy Remus spent a lot of time playing his record player and sketching in his notepad. He blasted those Muggle bands that he loved. Pink Floyd. Led Zeppelin. Queen. Or sometimes he put on something soft with acoustic guitars and harmonies like Crosby, Stills and Nash. Sirius had thought it was all garbage back when they were thirteen and he played some of his record collection for them all. But falling for Remus made everything he loved seem so much more important.

On days when Remus sat silently in a chair lost in his own world, with his sketchpad or a book, Sirius never knew what do with himself. He had always hated doing things alone. Sirius wanted to be with his friends. He wanted the Marauders to be together like they had been at school. But war complicates matters as does your best mate marrying his girlfriend months after they finished Hogwarts. We should give them space, Remus had said. So they gave them space so that they could do all the things that Sirius wished he was doing with Remus.

So, Sirius went to the clubs and danced with gorgeous strangers that weren't Remus. You're so tall and pretty, they would whisper in his ear. Sirius would blush but when they invited him home with them he couldn't do it. He couldn't shag a stranger. He wasn't sure he could shag anyone who wasn't Remus Lupin. The idea bordered on repulsion. The flame he carried burned for only one man and it would he would let it consume him before he ever gave it to another.

Remus came back in to the bedroom with a cup of tea, setting it down on the end table next to Sirius.

"Thanks, Moony," Sirius said.

Remus smiled brightly.

"You never call me Moony when we're alone, anymore. I was wondering why you had stopped," Remus said.

Sirius felt himself turning red. He had stopped calling him Moony without ever noticing. Merlin, how could he have never noticed? For all those years at Hogwarts he had called him Moony with affection, even when they weren't with the other boys. But then school ended. Sirius came out and Remus gave him no reaction. Something inside him had died that day.

"Oh. I hadn't noticed. I guess… things felt different. With the war and all," Sirius half lied.

"If I've ever done anything… I'm sorry," Remus said, looking so regretful that Sirius almost wondered if he was thinking of that moment.

I'm gay.


"Of course, not," Sirius lied.

Remus smiled.

"That's good to know, Padfoot," Remus said and got up from the bed.

"What are you going to do?" Sirius asked.

"Drink my tea. After that I don't know. I was thinking about reading Lord of the Rings again," Remus said.

Sirius gave Remus a skeptical look.

"It can't really be that good," Sirius insisted.

"I've read it four times. The magic is all wrong but the story is good. And good triumphs over evil. It makes me feel better about the way things are going. Fiction has a certain power," Remus said.

Sirius had never thought about it that way. He gave Remus a smile despite himself. Remus smiled back then left the bedroom. Moments later the stereo was playing Led Zeppelin and Sirius coaxed himself back to sleep, wishing Remus was there beside him.

“Evening, Moony,” Sirius said, stirring Remus out of his Lord of the Rings induced trance.

Remus turned around to see Sirius standing at the doorway to the bedroom, tall and shirtless. His long, dark hair was a mess. Remus felt an urge to take a brush to it, though he also thought it made him a bit sexy.

“Aren’t you cold? It’s the middle of November,” Remus said.

Sirius shrugged. Remus certainly didn’t want to deny himself such a sight but his first should be for Sirius’s comfort.

“I suppose I can find a shirt,” Sirius said, popping back into the bedroom.

A moment later, he was back out wearing a grey tee-shirt, his hair having been somewhat brushed. Sirius normally took impeccable care of his hair but under the circumstances he couldn’t be faulted for a little bit of messy hair.

“How’s the book going?” Sirius asked.

“Frodo’s made it to Rivendell. This is where it really starts to get pick up,” Remus said, closing the book with his bookmark safely inside.

“Good job, sir hobbit,” Sirius said, laying back on the sofa.

“You were able to sleep through the music?” Remus asked.

“Yes. I’m used to it by now. It’s almost calming,” Sirius said.

Remus got up from the the dining table and came over to sit in the chair opposite Sirius, desiring to be closer to him.

“My mum played me children’s records when I was young. It helped me get to sleep. Especially before… you know,” Remus said, remembering distant nights when he could feel the change approaching.

Remus never told anyone how scary it was, how sick it made him feel, how letting go of his control to allow the change happen was almost better than all the waiting for it to happen. It wasn’t easy growing up a monster. A freak. To feel an inner part of yourself that was so at odds with the image that you had for yourself. Knowing that this was something done to you that could never be undone…

But then Hogwarts came and so did his friends. The Marauders. They saved his life. In his heart he knew that he wouldn’t be alive now if it weren’t for them. They gave him something worth living and fighting for.

And then there was Sirius… Unfairly beautiful, Sirius Black and his grey eyes that always looked at Remus the way lovers looked at each other in the movies. He wasn’t sure when he knew that Sirius was in love with him. Definitely before Sirius’s failed attempt at a having girlfriend and years before he finally confessed that he was gay.

When Sirius had invited Remus to walk along the lake that morning Remus had felt almost paralysed with anxiety. He had misunderstood Sirius’s intentions. He thought Sirius was going to confess his feelings. Surely, Sirius knew that Remus had known Sirius was gay probably before even Sirius had realised. But no. There was no love confession. Though it would’ve brought Remus some joy to have that brief, perfect moment, he still would have gently turned Sirius down.

What kind of a friend would he be to inflict himself upon the man he loved. Sirius loved him and Remus would only bring him pain and suffering. He could never be the man that Sirius deserved.

So instead he suffered in silence. He was good at hiding his feelings. There was an art to limiting touch and preventing wandering eyes.There was no reason to make things worse for the both of them. But then Sirius went out at night alone and Remus was tormented. Right before the full moon Remus’s sense were on high alert and he could smell other people on Sirius. He desperately tried not to but there was no stopping it.

Remus would go to bed those nights trying not to cry and trying not to imagine the things that Sirius was out doing. It’s none of my business, let it go, he repeated in his mind on a loop. How could he love you and still be doing things with other people? He knows you’re not good enough for him.

In the mornings after, he would wonder why he had suggested that they move in together. Sure, he claimed that it was for James and Lily’s sake but that was only part of the truth. He didn’t want to be away from Sirius. Even if they could never be together, if Remus could never really give him his love at least he could be there with him, living the ghost of a life he’d only ever dreamed of.

“Remus if there’s ever anything… to help you… before the change. You know I would do anything to help you,” Sirius said.

“I’m not sure what you could do. Best to just avoid me,” Remus said.

Yes, great. Encourage him to go out and seek comfort in the arms of strangers. Damn you, Remus Lupin.

“I think I’ve grown tired of going out. I… Oh, you probably won’t want to hear it,” Sirius said.

The truth was he did and he didn’t. But the only possible answer was, “You can tell me anything.”

“I’ve been going to these Muggle clubs. They are very loud and play disco. They have no idea who I am. People treat me favourably but… I don’t think whatever it is I’m looking for is going to be found there,” Sirius said.

“Oh. Well, what is it that you are looking for?” Remus couldn’t help himself from asking.

Sirius seemed frozen and it killed Remus. He knew exactly what Sirius was looking for. A man with less self-control might’ve started crying at that moment, angry at himself for denying himself such love but Remus only waited patiently for a reply, burying everything else down.

“Oh. Um… Something… more. More than just a shag with someone I don’t know. I can’t imagine being with someone… being with someone I didn’t really love. I’m sure that’s stupid,” Sirius said, looking down at his feet at the end of the sofa with a sort of melancholy.

“Not at all. Everyone wants to be loved,” Remus said.

Including you, you bloody arsehole, Remus screamed at himself in his mind.

“True enough. Sadly, with the way this war is going I’m afraid I shall die alone,” Sirius said.

It was like Remus had been stabbed in the heart. It wasn’t the first time he had considered the possibility that they might die in this war. Every sign that he could see pointed to You Know Who winning the war. He had faith in Albus Dumbledore but when so many people they knew had already died it was difficult to remain hopeful. Not even Lord of the Rings could fix that.

It was in that very moment that Remus finally found a crack in his own facade. The only thing worse than never sharing his love with Sirius Black was the both of them dying having never told each other how they felt. If they were both going to die what did it matter if he was a monster. If Sirius wanted to love a monster before he died, who was Remus to deny him. He gripped the arm of the chair and felt his heart pounding. If he wasn’t certain the full moon was a couple of weeks away, he might’ve thought the change was about to happen.

“I know how you feel,” Remus said, shocked at his own words.

This was happening and there was nothing Remus could do to stop it. He had lost control of the true beast inside of him, not the one with sharp teeth and claws but the one with the power to the break hearts of beautiful men.

“You do? That’s funny. You’ve never shown much of an interest in romance,” Sirius said, sitting up and leaning over.

Sirius’s hair hung down, framing his pale, thin face in a way that really wasn’t helping matters. Remus searched for what to say.

“I guess I keep things to myself,” Remus said.

“Well, who did you fancy? Peter always said you fancied Lily but I thought he was being daft,” Sirius said.

“Lily? Of course not. She’s my best friend. We’re mates,” Remus said.

“What are you saying that someone couldn’t develop feelings for a friend?” Sirius asked, eyebrow raised.

Dammit, Remus thought. He’s got me now.

“No. I’m not saying that at all,” Remus said, his palms feeling sweaty.

“Is it because she’s a girl? Remus are you-“

“No! I’m not gay,” Remus said, honestly.

Sirius looked disappointed and only said, “Oh.”

“Which is to say… I mean…” Remus stammered, trying to will the words out of his mouth.

“What?” Sirius said, looking confused.

“I’m bisexual,” Remus said, suddenly afraid to breathe.

“Bi… bisexual?” Sirius asked.

“Yes,” Remus replied.

“So you like girls and blokes? That hardly seems fair,” Sirius said with a grin.

Sirius seemed pleased in a way that he hadn’t expected.

“Well, in theory anyway. I’ve found girls attractive but never really had any interest in anyone in particular,” Remus said, waving a hand dismissively.

“So there’s been blokes you fancied?” Sirius asked.

Remus felt like he was strapped the front of the Hogwarts Express and it had gone berserk, hurtling towards the nearest castle.

“Bloke. Just one,” Remus said, quickly looking away, knowing what the next question would be.

“Oh. Who’s that?” Sirius asked.

Remus mouth searched for words. He knew the longer he went without saying something the more the silence would say it for him. Fuck it, he thought. I don’t care anymore. I want this. Why can’t I have one good thing?

Remus turned to Sirius with a grin and said, “You, of course.”

Sirius’s mouth hung open. He didn’t move aside from a single tear that fell from his right eye, cascading down his cheek. Remus felt tears welling in his own eyes, nearly eight years of secret desire creeping to the surface.

“You never told me,” Sirius said.

“I-I know. I’m sorry,” Remus said, trying to swallow his tears.

“When I told you I was gay… you didn’t even react,” Sirius said, the hurt in his voice palpable.

“I know. I… I couldn’t. I was afraid. I’ve always been afraid,” Remus said.

“Afraid of what?” Sirius said, getting up from the sofa to kneel by Remus’s side, his cheeks shining with tears.

“Me. Us. But never you, I swear,” Remus said as Sirius placed a hand on his knee.

Sirius looked up at him with more emotion in his finely featured face than he had ever seen someone display. Remus placed a hand on Sirius’s hand and gently squeezed it.

“So you still feel… that way?” Sirius asked.

“Forever and always,” Remus said and Sirius squeezed back harder.

“So why tell me now? All those years at Hogwarts and you never said anything,” Sirius said.

“Because I can’t bear the thought that one of us might die and never know how the other one felt,” Remus said and in an instant he leaned down just as Sirius leaned up, their mouths meeting as Remus could no longer hold back the tears.

Their mouths moved together, hot and wet as they wept together. Remus could feel them both shaking, a product of feeling more than their bodies could handle at any given moment. Sirius pulled his mouth away and they embraced, Sirius continued to sob with his face buried in Remus’s neck. Remus rubbed his back, realizing how freeing it was to show such affection to the one he loved.

“Would you like to go sit on the bed? It might be more comfortable” Remus asked, feeling their current status made affection difficult.

“OK,” Sirius said and he stood up, offering Remus his hand as they marched to the bedroom together.

As soon as they were in the room their mouths locked hard, causing their teeth to clack together.

“Shit,” Sirius said with a chuckle.

“It’s all right,” Remus said as he leaned up and more slowly pressed his lips into Sirius’s.

Sirius placed his hands on Remus’s back and pulled their bodies together. Sirius felt so hot. Remus wondered if Sirius had always been so tall. He never really appreciated it until he was forced to lean up into his kiss.

Sirius’s hands moved down Remus’s back. Remus desperately wished he wasn’t wearing a sweater so he could feel Sirius that much closer to his flesh. Sirius’s hands stopped at the small of Remus’s back and Remus reached behind Sirius and pulled him closer. His trousers felt impossibly tight and his body craved friction.

Sirius’s inexperience with snogging showed, though Remus didn’t mind as he barely had any experience himself. Lily was the one who first showed him how to kiss when they were in fifth year. Remus had briefly considered giving in and telling Sirius how he felt and wanted to be ready to impress him with his kiss but it never came to be as Remus decided he would rather bury it all.

If Sirius had kissed his fourth year girlfriend then it must not have been more than a peck. Sirius’s lips were clumsy and he used far too much tongue but the more they kissed the more Sirius seemed to slip into sync. Sirius slipped his hands underneath Remus’s sweater and the touch of Sirius’s hands on Remus’s bareback were electrifying.

Remus couldn’t help rocking his pelvis to rub his groin into Sirius’s. Sirius moaned into his mouth and bumped his groin back into Remus’s. Remus reached behind Sirius and pushed their groins together. Sirius practically started humping Remus.

“Oh, you randy dog,” Remus moaned into Sirius’s ear then kissed his neck.

“You have no idea,” Sirius grunted, his pelvis thrusting hard.

“Maybe you should-“

“Ohhh. Fuck. Dammit,” Sirius moaned, his body shuddering in Remus’s arms.

“Oh,” Remus said as Sirius breathed hard and his body grew limp.

“Dammit. Sorry. I guess I was… too eager,” Sirius said.

“Maybe we should simmer down. Have a lie down,” Remus said.

“I… I still want to… I just…” Sirius stammered.

“We can have another go tomorrow. We have nowhere else to be. How would you like if I read some of Lord of the Rings to you?” Remus asked.

“You can read anything to me you want… After I… get cleaned up,” Sirius said with embarrassment.

Soft snores stirred Sirius out of sleep. For the first time in his life he woke up next to the man he loved. The day before had seemed so magical that he had almost convinced himself it was a dream. But it wasn’t a dream. Remus was there, fast asleep, still wearing his clothes. Sirius wasn’t sure what he thought of Lord of the Rings but he had found Remus reading it to him to be very soothing. Remus had a voice that teetered on the edge of deep and soft.

Sirius didn’t want to get up from the bed but his bladder and morning breath demanded otherwise. Once his business was taken care of he got in the shower. He had been riddled with embarrassment all last night over the humping incident that had resulted in a right and proper mess in his pants.

Remus had been very gracious and Sirius agreed that cooling things off was a good decision. They had barely let their emotions sink in and they were ready to shag each other’s brains out. This hadn’t stopped them from stopping to snog throughout the rest of the day and Sirius had still felt the desire but they hadn’t let themselves get too worked up.

Sirius wondered when it would be OK to tell Remus he loved him. If Remus allowed him, Sirius would fall to his knees and declare his undying love but he didn’t want to freak Remus out, not right after they were just getting started.

There was certainly a part of Sirius that felt with death around any corner there was no use holding anything back. Sirius knew that he would give his life in this war if he had too and he knew Remus would do the same. Why should they deny themselves what little joy they could bring each other?

Sirius got out of the shower and saw about making tea while Remus got up and did his morning things as well. He came out and they sat down for tea.

“So umm… Did you mean what you said yesterday? About today,” Sirius said.

“Definitely,” Remus said.

“I… I’ve never done it before. I’m not sure I know what to do,” Sirius admitted with embarrassment.

“I’ve never done it either. I just know I don’t want to rush it. I want to enjoy it,” Remus said with a grin.

A short while later they were back in the bedroom. Remus lay on the bed and Sirius climbed on top of him. Sirius kissed Remus again, loving the soft way their lips glided together. Their groins pressed together and Sirius could feel Remus’s hard bulge. He resisted the urge to grind into Remus too much lest there be a repeat of the day before. Instead they kissed while desire built once more.

It was Remus who finally said, “What do you say we undress each other? Could be fun,” Remus said.

Sirius climbed off Remus and stood up. He didn’t exactly have on a lot of clothes to remove but he was sure Remus would take his time.

“Guess I’m starting,” Remus said with a grin as he gripped Sirius’s tee-shirt by the rim.

Sirius lifted up his arms as Remus pulled the shirt off over his head. Remus then kissed Sirius while his hands gripped his waist. Remus’s nose nuzzled he soft hairs of Sirius chest and his full lips explored his nipples, slowly sucking them one at a time.

“Oh. Merlin,” Sirius moaned, his cock feeling hard as stone and his mind imagining how Remus’s lips would feel down there.

Remus’s hands gripped Sirius’s pyjamas then pulled them slowly down, allowing Sirius to step out of them once they were on the floor. Sirius felt strangely shy standing there in just his pants but Remus quickly relieved him of that problem and pulled them down, exposing his rigid shaft which put a smile on Remus’s face.

Remus kissed Sirius again then let his hands drift down Sirius’s sides until he got to his thighs. Remus’s warm hands gripped Sirius’s thighs, almost as if to tease Sirius. Sirius twitched his cock in frustration but Remus removed his hands and stepped back.

“My turn,” Remus said.

Sirius was even more excited to undress Remus than he had been to have Remus undress him. He pulled off Remus’s shirt with glee then gazed at Remus’s torso. Remus wasn’t exactly muscular but his weight was well formed on his thin frame. Sirius slid one of Remus’s nipples between long, thin fingers, feeling it get hard. He felt so nervous and had to remind himself that he wasn’t being graded. Professor McGonagall wasn’t going to lecture him if he got it wrong.

Sirius’s hands drifted to Remus’s pyjamas, longing to explore the bulge between his legs. He pulled Remus’s pyjamas down. They got stuck as he was forced to pull them out a little to get over Remus’s substantial bulge. Once Remus had stepped out of them Sirius slowly pulled Remus’s pants down. Sirius could feel his mouth dropping open as more and more his thick shaft was revealed. Once he had pulled down as far as Remus’s heavy bollocks, Sirius removed his hand and stared at Remus’s erection.

“Is there something wrong with it?” Remus asked, sounding genuinely considered.

“No. It’s lovely. It’s just… big,” Sirius said.

“Is that OK?” Remus asked.

Sirius kissed Remus, feeling Remus’s hard heat poke him ever so briefly in the stomach.

“Every part of you is beautiful,” Sirius said.

Remus blushed and looked away. Sirius thought Remus looked like one of those guys in the dirty magazines that Muggles sold: young, hung with an angelic face and soft, full lips.

Remus relaxed down onto the bed, laying there with a smile as Sirius climbed on top of him. Sirius laid his body on top of Remus’s, the feel of so much of Remus touching Sirius was exhilarating. Sirius felt Remus’s hard heat sliding against his own and their mouths engulfed each other again.

Remus’s hands reached down to squeeze Sirius’s arse, pressing him harder into Remus’s groin as they both moaned. Remus giggled and rolled them both over, now landing on top of Sirius. He sucked on Sirius’s neck, no doubt leaving a mark.

“I want you to so bad, Moony. More than I’ve ever wanted anything,” Sirius breathed.

“Then you’ll have me,” Remus said, his mouth pressing into Sirius’s again and rubbing his hard cock against Sirius’s belly.

“But I don’t know what to do,” Sirius admitted with a chuckle.

Remus gazed down at Sirius, a strand of his honey-brown hair falling into his eyes.

“What do you want to do? We can take turns asking each other what we would like the other to do,” Remus suggested.

“Sounds great,” Sirius said, leaning up into a kiss.

“I’ll go first. I would like you to kiss me… starting from here,” Remus said, gesturing at his neck then continued, “Down to my feet.”

“I would love to,” Sirius said and Remus fell beside him.

Sirius climbed on top of Remus then pressed his lips into the softness of Remus’s neck, tasting the saltiness of his sweat. Sirius dragged his lips down to Remus’s shoulders then down the center of his chest and over one of his hard nipples.

Sirius crouched over Remus as he kissed down Remus’s belly to his thigh. Remus’s cock was almost impossible to ignore and Sirius kissed the tenderness of Remus’s inner thigh, feeling him squirm beneath him as his cock twitched. Still Sirius carried on, kissing down Remus’s leg, to his ankles then the top of his right foot to finish the journey.

“Mmm. Very good,” Remus said.

“I want you to touch me. Every part of me. With just your hands,” Sirius said.

Sirius laid down on the bed with his arse facing up. He could feel Remus shifting about then he felt him lifting up the back of Sirius’s hair and softly stroking it. It was unexpected and calming gesture, one that he would have to remember for later.

Setting Sirius’s hair down, Remus’s hands massaged Sirius’s back and his sides. Remus’s touch was gentle and firm, a perfect representation of the man himself. His hands cupped Sirius’s arse and squeezed, exploring their shape and curve before dragging them down the back’s of his thighs and down to his ankles.

Sirius flipped over. Remus moved back up to Sirius’s head, placing a hand on a cheek and stroking it with affection. His hands moved over his arms and his torso and back down to his thighs. He then gripped Sirius’s cock, wrapping a hand around it and using the other hand to tug on his bollocks. Sirius grunted with sexual frustration as Remus released him and continued the journey down to his feet.

His task complete, Remus knelt between Sirius’s legs, softly stroking himself and licking his lips.

“Will you kiss me… kiss it… All over,” Remus said, gesturing between his legs with his head.

“With pleasure,” Sirius said and got on his knees.

Sirius wrapped long fingers around the thick base of Remus’s cock. He pressed his lips to the head, getting a taste of Remus’s damp arousal before dragging his lips down the shaft before starting over from every angle he could. Remus giggled and let out soft moans, especially when Sirius kissed the swollen head.

“You look ready to explode. Sure you don’t want me to suck you off?” Sirius asked playfully.

“But it’s your turn,” Remus said.

“Yes, and for my turn I want you to touch my mouth with your cock,” Sirius said then laughed.

“Yeah. OK,” Remus said.

Sirius stroked the long shaft, feeling the foreskin’s gentle glide. He lowered his mouth to the head, wrapping it around it, aware that he couldn’t get much more than that in his mouth unless he really tried. He wrapped his mouth around the ridge of the head of his cock and Remus flinched.

“Watch the teeth,” Remus said.

“Sorry,” Sirius said, and blushed with embarrassment.

Sirius put his mouth back on Remus’s cock, taking more care to use his lips and tongue to shield the sensitive flesh from his teeth. Sirius then slowly sucked while his hands stroked the shaft. Sirius couldn’t believe how hot it felt on his tongue. Remus’s body lightly rocked and his frustrated grunts and moans increased. Poor bloke was nearly out of his mind with sexual urgency, Sirius thought.

“I’m not gonna be able to hold on long, Padfoot. Just a warning,” Remus said then brushed some hair out of Sirius’s face.

Sirius was excited to make his new lover come. He could taste his arousal on his tongue, bitter and salty, and wanted to feel Remus exploding into his mouth. He sucked harder and faster as Remus’s breathing became ragged.

“So close. Oh, Merlin, I’m so close, Padfoot,” Remus said moaned.

Sirius sucked as hard as he could until Remus let out a long, “Unnhhhhh.”

Remus’s cock flexed in Sirius’s mouth while he let out a high moan. Hot fluid spilled onto Sirius’s tongue and down his throat. Sirius continued to suck as Remus grunted with every spasm of his cock. Sirius hands squeezed and pulled the shaft, pushing every last drop into his mouth.

“That was… incredible,” Remus said through heavy breaths.

“Cheers,” Sirius said then sucked the head again, making Remus shudder and yelp.

“OK. It’s my turn and I also want you to touch my mouth with your cock. Lie down, please,” Remus said.

Sirius fell back with excitement. Remus dropped down and quickly wrapped his mouth around Sirius’s cock, taking him deep. Remus’s lips glided up and down Sirius’s cock with a flawless smooth motion. Sirius wagered that Remus must’ve practised somewhere.

“Fuck, Moony. How did you… Ugh,” Sirius moaned as Remus increased his speed.

Sirius’s cock felt so sensitive and he was filled with electric urgency, the tension building rapidly. Sirius clutched the bed sheets in anticipation.

“Fuck!” Sirius shouted, as pleasure peaked and he came into Remus’s eager mouth.

Remus made happy sounds as he continued to suck, Sirius cock still pulsing into his mouth. Sirius was overcome with euphoria and felt paralysed as Remus sucked until he was finally soft.

Remus then giggled and leapt on top of Sirius. They playfully kissed as Sirius rolled Remus over. Remus nippled on Sirius’s ear and neck, giving Sirius goose pimples and making them both laugh.

“Oh, I think I love you,” Sirius said into Remus’s ear

“I think I love you too,” Remus said and they sweetly kissed again as Sirius’s heart skipped a beat.

Quicker than Sirius expected he could feel Remus stiffening beneath him, causing his own cock to harden again.

“Merlin, Moony. You’re insatiable,” Sirius said, kissing Remus again and sliding their cocks together.

“Can I show you something Lily gave me?” Remus said with a wolfish grin.

“I insist,” Sirius said.

Remus slid from under Sirius and ran over to the dresser, pulling a jar of clear fluid out and bringing it over to the bed.

“This is lubricating potion. It makes things slippery. Feel it,” Remus said, opening the jar.

Sirius dipped a finger in and pulled it out. The fluid had the most peculiar consistency. He rubbed his fingertips together, amazed at how the fluid made them glide.

“Does that give you any ideas?” Remus said.

“More than a few,” Sirius replied.

“For instance, how would you like me to finger your arse?” Remus asked.

Sirius’s cock twitched with approval and he nodded enthusiastically. He got onto his belly and slightly raised his arse. He felt Remus come behind him and place a hand on his arse, feeling the shape of his cheeks again. Sirius then felt cool pressure on his hole, circling with a finger.

“Oh. Hm,” Sirius softly moaned.

Sirius felt Remus slowly slide a finger inside of him. Sirius had fingered his own arse before but it wasn’t really the same thing. Remus slide himself deeper than Sirius had ever been able to manage on his own and when he hit the right spot Sirius moaned, “Oh, there!”

Remus slowly slid the finger in and out of Sirius’s arse. Sirius had heard rumours about a spot in the arse that felt nice but had always assumed it was a load of bollocks. He was rather pleased to find out how wrong he truly was.

As nice as Remus’s finger was, Sirius couldn’t help imagining Remus’s cock inside of him. If just a finger felt good surely so much more would feel… better. But Remus really was so large…

“Add another finger?” Sirius requested.

Remus pulled his finger out then poured a little of the fluid on Sirius’s hole making him giggle with how cool it was before he pushed two fingers inside.

“Ahh,” Sirius moaned, liking how much more full he felt.

“That’s nice, is it?” Remus said, his fingers sliding in and out with amazing ease.

“Very. Oh, Merlin,” Sirius moaned.

Sirius rubbed his prick against the bed, feeling himself growing desperate for friction again.

“Third finger?” Sirius asked.

Remus poured more lubricating potion then added a third finger. Sirius loved how full it made him feel. He never realised he could stretch so much.

“Moony… I want you… I want you inside of me. I want you to… make love to me,” Sirius begged.

“Are you sure?” Remus asked.

“Very. Just be gentle,” Sirius said.

Remus climbed off the and Sirius turned to watch him slick up his shaft before getting back on the bed. Sirius rolled over onto his back, wishing to look his lover in the eyes. Remus smiled as Sirius spread his legs and lifted his arse up.

Remus pressed the head of his cock to Sirius’s hole and rested it there. Sirius closed his eyes and enjoyed the heat and sensation of it. He then gently nudged the tip inside, Sirius feeling grateful they started with fingers. Already he felt so full and there was so much more of Remus to come.

Remus pulled the tip back out then slid it back inside, letting a little more of himself ease in. Sirius watched with fascination as Remus repeated this. Remus’s face looked terrified and fascinated. He was licking his lips repeatedly as he continued the slow motion of easing himself inside.

After a few minutes Remus had managed to get an inch or two inside. He thought Remus was being even more cautious than necessary which was both sweet and sexy. Remus continued to ease his way in and it seemed to get faster as they went along. Sirius began to stroke himself, watching Remus’s face and enjoying how excited he seemed.

A few minutes more and Remus seemed to be as deep as he could go. He slowly thrust in and out of Sirius while he gazed down with his deep brown eyes. There was nothing frantically randy about this. Remus was being slow and gentle, his eyes displaying a tenderness that warmed Sirius’s heart.

Sirius was afraid to speak, lest he ruin the moment. Sirius felt utterly filled with Remus both literally and figuratively. He could see and feel Remus’s love and tears filled his eyes.

“Are you all right?” Remus asked.

“I’m perfect. You’re perfect,” Sirius said.

Remus dropped down, pushing his weight down on Sirius. Sirius clutched Remus’s back tightly as he slowly pumped himself deep. Sirius sucked at Sirius’s neck as Remus moaned.

“I love you. You have no idea how much… Ahhh… how I much… needed you,” Sirius moaned.

“I need you too. I need you so much, Padfoot,” Remus said.

Sirius felt so connected and complete. It was like all the noise in his head was silenced and they were all that existed as Remus slowly thrust inside of him. Every deep, slow thrust and arch of Remus’s filled Sirius thrills he never knew possible.

“I want you to come in me. Please come in me, Moony,” Sirius urged.

Remus increased his pace, still pushing as deep as he could go with each thrust. Remus’s faced twisted with pleasure.

“That’s good. Keep going. Come in me,” Sirius urged again.

Remus was breathing hard. Sirius could feel his bollocks slapping his arse.

“Uh huh. Oh. Mmm,” Remus moaned, sounding close.

“I love you, Moony. Come for me,” Sirius begged.

Remus’s body shook and he moaned, “Oh, Padfoot! Ahhhh!”

Sirius could feel Remus pulsing inside of him as Remus buried his lips into Sirius’s neck.

“Yes. That’s wonderful,” Sirius moaned, feeling elated.

Remus continued to thrust even as Sirius could feel him growing soft and slipping out of him. Remus started to collapse but somehow pulled himself up. He looked down at Sirius with a smile.

“Looks like you’ve still got a situation,” Remus said.

“Will you watch me come?” Sirius said as he reached over and slicked up his fingers with the lubricating potion.

“I would love to,” Remus said.

Sirius slicked up his cock and stroked in a brisk rhythm. Remus watched him with wonder. Sirius stared up into his eyes as he quickly stroked himself to climax, shooting his spunk onto his belly.

Remus smiled proudly as Sirius breathed hard. He hadn’t realised how tired and sore he had made himself until arousal slipped away. Remus dropped next to him and they kissed, Sirius finding it difficult to move.

“I think I need some tea. Shall we have a break for some tea” Sirius asked.

“Yes. Then maybe we can snuggle some more while I read to you,” Remus said with a bright smile.

Sirius smiled and kissed Remus again.

“That sounds lovely, Moony,” he said then climbed out of bed.