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you've got me (now hold my hand it’s lonely)

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"You've got me." 


Clary blinked slowly, and the tears gathered in her eyes fell; running in little rivets down her cheeks. Isabelle frowned, and reached out, cupping Clary's cheeks gently. "You've got me, Clary Fray. From the moment we met; no matter what's next. We'll face it like we always do; to gether. You've got me." She brushed the sadness off of Clary's cheeks, and tapped her nose lightly. Clary's nose twitched at the touch, and she raised her eyes to meet Isabelle's, "Do I?" Her voice was soft, tired, and yet, curiosity lingered there. Isabelle titled her head, confused. "Do I? Have you, I mean?"  Hazel eyes met dark brown, and a smile blossomed across Isabelle's lips; full of the sparkle and dazzle she was known for. "Oh, Clary Fray, you've always had me. Even that time you tried to knock me out with that giant head of yours."  Clary winced at the memory, and then smiled softly, "That was your fault. You were like, right there." Isabelle laughed, and pulled Clary back to the bed, "Lay with me, the flashbacks are giving me a repeat performance and I think-did you actually concuss me?" She tapped Clary's head, laying next to her on the silky sheets, and smirked, "By the angels, Clary Fray, your head is hard."  Clary raised an eyebrow, and rolled towards Isabelle, knocking their noses together, and laughing when Isabelle tried to wiggle away, "Isabelle Lightwood, you get back here right now and snuggle with me."  Isabelle peeked over her shoulder back at the pouting redhead, and grinned, "Okay, fine, but none of that head knocking! Give me a demon over your head knocks any day."  Clary grabbed at her, and once they were so tangled that neither could tell where one began and the other ended, the only sound in the room was their breathing. This was what they lived for, coexisting peacefully together, and keeping each other afloat when they felt lost and adrift in the world. 




The search for Jace was ongoing and often fruitless. There were so many potential leads (that the Clave didn't need to know about) that they snuck out (which was getting increasingly harder, and without Magnus' help, would not have been possible at all) to investigate, and ended up with next to nothing each and every time. It was frustrating, and Isabelle was often the only thing between Alec and Clary full out brawling (like what even--Clary you're so smol) in the street like two mundanes after too many "fight me, i friggin' dare you". She literally ended up between them, her snake whip out, and ready to snap an ass. If glaring at both of them till they stopped acting like pubescent children didn't work, she just gave Clary a look that said, i will literally take cuddles off the table now stand down soldier. i swear to all my angels that you need to calm down right now before i smack both of you and then leave you here--it was a deep, long look (seriously though, what looks weren't deep and long between them), and Clary nearly always backed down under the force of it. She was brash but she wasn't stupid, okay?




It was the middle of the night. Dark and rainy from the sounds drumming steadily against her window. It was the middle of the night. And she couldn't, for the life of her, sleep. Art was always an option, but the thought of dragging herself out of bed to grab her charcoal and sketchpad was just too much and so there she was--lyin' there in the middle of the night, suffering. What the fuck, sleep? Aren't we fuckin' friends? Fuck you. She sighed, rolled over towards her phone, and reached out blindly. Something hit the floor and she sighed, unwilling to turn on a light and reveal what she just broke. Fuck that. She'd step on it in the morning or something. 


With a soundless victory cry, she stumbled across her phone, or what felt like her phone, and was instantly blinded with the glare of her screensaver. Dear fuckin' God, her eyes. Why the fuck--Isabelle's winking face blinked up at her, her own face buried in the girl's neck, hiding from the camera because Isabelle seriously had an addiction to photographing their every waking moment. "We could die, Clary. At any moment. Now smile, I need a new screensaver." 




*unread, 3:45 a.m.*


-izzy  wake up pls i can't sleep--wait--how the fuck are you asleep tell me your secret rn i need it-


*unread, 3:46 a.m.*


-all by myself... all by myself. izzy, best friend, please don't make me get up and crawl my way to your room. its so far izz--


*unread, 3:46 a.m.*


Clary whimpered, secured her phone in her sports bra, and rolled around till she was in a cocoon of blankets. she shoved her pillows off the bed, and with a groan, she fell off the bed. She made sure her blankets were still wrapped tightly around her; keeping her lightly toasted and began the shuffle/wiggle she had perfected years ago towards her door. Once she made it through her door, a quick tumble/roll across the hall straight into Isabelle's door (she had everything but the landing mastered) and a little jimmy/shake got her into her favorite place. How Izzy never woke up when she did this, she'd never know. She wasn't exactly quiet. She used the bedpost as a rope, and with a small bounce... ah, yeah, there she was. Sleeping like a freakin' bear in hibernation. Setting her phone down next to Izzy's, "Three unread messages from <3<3<3CLAREBEAR<3<3<3" she unraveled herself out of her blanket cocoon and slipped in with Isabelle, who was still happily snoring away, "I don't snore, Clary, shut the fuck up right now." and even with the combined presence of Isabelle and that awesome rain sound, she still couldn't sleep. What. The. Fuck. 




Isabelle was lying across the couch, flicking through a journal of either dead bodies or something so scientific it would make Clary's head throb, when Clary dive-bombed her. Isabelle squealed, and the book smacked Clary hard across the face. She clutched her cheek, and whimpered against Izzy's neck. "Izzy, why does your science always hurt me?" Isabelle looked at her book forlornly, resting on the floor so innocently, and then down at Clary. "Cariña, maybe next time look before you leap?"  Clary pulled her face from Isabelle's neck, an angry red mark painted across her cheek, and pouted pathetically. Isabelle leaned down, and brushed her lips across the mark softly. She indicated towards her open laptop on the end table next to the couch,"You wanna watch that anime you love? I promise I won't even make fun of it this time." Clary brightened after a moment, "Does this make us even, now, Iz?" Isabelle tilted her head in question, "For that time you woke me up and I nearly concussed you?" The brunette groaned, as she always did when she remembered that traumatic head injury, "You did concuss me, mi sirenita, and no. We will never be even for that. Ever."  Clary pouted again, and dropped her head to lie against Isabelle's collarbone, and, after a peaceful moment of silence, "Can we watch my anime, now?" Isabelle wrapped her arms around Clary, and pulled her tight against her, "Mm, I need ten minutes to prepare." Clary scoffed, "You're hoping I'll fall asleep, aren't you?" The silence spoke volumes. "I could have a concussion, you know. You should keep me awake, just in case." Isabelle sighed, the doctor in her and her overwhelming love for this dork winning out, "Fine but I'm picking the episodes." Clary grinned and bopped Isabelle's nose in victory. Life was good. 




 "Do you think it'll ever be over?"




"This constant threat of war. Death. Pain."


"I think-I think no matter what happens, Clary Fray, I'll have you, and you'll have me, and that's all that matters."


"Artful dodge, Lightwood."


"Clary, your father is a maniac dickaphobe hell bent on downworlders' destruction and the extinction of all happiness and sunshine in the world. I don't have an answer for you beyond the here and now. I mean, I hope we survive. I hope we win. I hope we find Jace and he's still the same egotistical, sunshine-brat that we know. I hope it all works out and we don't have to watch any of our friends and family die along the way. But I don't know, Clary. All I've got-All I can give you is this. The promise that no matter what happens next... I will always be by your side. Fighting, loving, snuggling for days. Because you are the only thing that makes me feel safe in this world. You are my sunshine, Clary Fray, and I'll be damned if there's a life where I'm not right here, by your side, for all of it."




"You've got me. I told you that and I'm never taking it back. You've. Got. Me."


"I really kind of love you, you know?"


"Good, otherwise that speech would seem a little over the top, huh?"


"Everything about you is over the top, and I love every single bit of it."







"I didn't say it that day, but you've got me, too. Always and forever. Through whatever's next. Together till the end. Which I honestly hope is when we're old and grey and bickering about watching anime or some science documentary. I want to fight you for blankets (you absolute hog), love you for your bravery and utter honesty about life, and be by your side till the world burns down. Which, if left in the hands of my father, could very well be soon."


"Whatever's next--together?"