Actions

Work Header

Catcher In The Fault In Our Politics

Work Text:

"All right, no, no, no! I cannot believe that I'm going to tell Georgie that I don't love him anymore," Bill Clinton said. After all that had happened in the last year, he couldn't risk another affair scandal. Bill knew he'd have to end it.

George and Bill were laying on the beach when a man who passed by in a mankini. It was famous playwright, Lin-Manuel Miranda. Hoo boy, he was pretty hot; his long leg hair flowed in the wind.

"Fuck, his leg hair looking on fleek and shit," Bill said. "What the hell are you talking about?" George said. "Listen, we gotta end this for my wife's sake," Bill said with tears in his eyes; he didn't want to leave the love of his life.

"Just weeks ago you didn't care about your wife," George said, crying into his bowl of macaroni and cheese behind his big sunglasses. Bill got up and slapped George really hard and he dropped the bowl of macaroni and cheese into the sand. "How DARE you."

"YEEZUS IS IN THE BUILDING!" Kanye exclaimed. "Shush Kanye!" Big Bird said in a threatening tone. The were on a lover's getaway and the couldn't risk the paparazzi finding out.

"Oh, God! Is that Kanye?" Lin-Manuel screeched. He flung himself over to Kanye and caressed his ear lobes. Big Bird fluffed up his feathers (because birds do that when they're pissed.) and glared at Lin-Manuel.

"Get your Puerto-Rican filthy hands off my fuckin' bitch," Big Bird said. "Oh, sorry, I was just saying hi to an old friend," Lin-Manuel said. Lin-Manuel winks and ran off into the distance screaming the lyrics to "All Star" by Smash Mouth.

Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin shot down into the sea from a space vagina and the illuminati wanted them in there to work their spicy magic. Bill Clinton noticed and exited the scene. Everyone got quiet as Sarah emerged from the sea wearing only a Buffalo Wild Wings chicken costume.

"Guess who is back bitches?" Sarah said in a moving tone. It was the end of times in the south part of Georgia. All had migrated to the dark hole located up Germany's ass.

"ITALY!!!!! WHY ARE THEIR POLITICIANS IN MY ASS?" Germany yelled. "Well, Germany, it's-a not only politicians! Kanye West, Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Big Bird, too! Pastaaaaaa~" "FUCK YOU ITALY!" He said while shitting out the many people.

As the people were being shitted out, the fell into Barack Obama's left nut. "I love Hillary," Melania said as she caressed Hillary's upper thigh. "One day we'll find the rainbow connection and stuff that fucker, Donald Trump" said.

Barack Obama exclaimed, "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Everyone waited. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ouch." Bill Nye emerged from Germany's pee hole. (I think it's called uthera but I forgot.)

"This is fucking bullshit," Trump mom exclaimed as she watched Mike Pence and Donald Trump have hot yaoi sex. She wanted to be a part of the narrative. It was all lost until Mike said, "You can cum with us."

Then everyone had a gigantic, hot, steamy meme orgy. They shot out corn kernels from their ass. The End.