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Beyond The Black Stump

Summary:

a bar situated in the space between the universes

an ongoing work

anybody want to play in my sandpit? You are welcome - bring your own bucket and spade.

Notes:

Chapter 1: Where is this?

Chapter Text

He did not know how he got there, but now he was, he did not really care.

He was met at the door by a rather strange man who appeared to have a scar around his neck, almost as if his head had been restitched on…

“Welcome Thir to the Black Stump, the Pub where all are welcome to Thit and Drink and Chat.

“You are welcome, but your weaponth are not. Any projectile weapon can be put in thith thtorage crate and retrieved ath you leave.

“Thank you, here ith you claim retheipt.”

He smiled at the young(?) man(?) and walked ahead into the bar.  A long, dark polished wood counter top curved around one corner, with tall stools placed before it.

Behind the counter were 3 other young(?) people who looked vaguely like the doorman – 2 female(?) and 1 male(?). Each had the same stitch line around the neck, and sported various other scars on parts of their faces. One of the females had even added sparkle to her most decorative scar.

He walked up to the bar and took a seat.

“Hello, Thir. My name ith Igor, what can I get you today?”

He gave it some thought. There was a long line of interestingly shaped bottles on the shelves attached to the wall behind the bar. Different shapes, different colours.

However he thought he might stick to a regular. “Scotch thanks.”

A glass with a finger of amber fluid was placed in front of him. “That will be four creditth thankth.”

He paid and picked up the glass. His first sip startled him – smooth and silky, just the way he remembered the finest whiskies back on Earth.

It was quite a large room, with interesting convex walls and ceiling, although the floor was flat. The bar itself was a curved piece of dark, polished wood that he could not quite identify – but frankly he was not all that interested, there were lots of woods available out there in the ‘Verse and he definitely had not seen them all. At one end of the bar there were several tall stools, mostly without backs, though it was a pretty eclectic lot. The other end seemed to be Standing Room Only – or Leaning Room, depending on your preference.

Behind the bar the walls curved together into a point, which housed the mechanisms of the refrigerating equipment – glass doors displayed the wares available, next to a heated cabinet with the sign ‘Caution, Hot’ attached and some – oh my! mesh lined gloves hung conveniently near with a pair of reinforced goggles. He wondered what might be served that needed such protection for the server.

Closer to the bar there appeared to be more of the usual type of equipment – beer taps, sinks, shelving. And a glass dome which housed a suspiciously brightly coloured bottle – actually the bottle was clear, the contents were a swirling, continually changing bright colour. Occasionally the bottle seemed to sway slightly. Perhaps he did not feel adventurous enough to try that particular apperitif – best stick to the Scotch, especially such a fine one.

He turned back to the bar and this time a female (?) was serving. ‘Hello Thir, I am Igorina, what can I get you thith time?’

‘I’ll have another Scotch thanks. That’s a mighty fine bottle you have there.’

‘Yeth Thir, we import it ethpecially from Thcotland back on Old Earth. We have a thtanding order with the local Time Lord, and every time he vithitth he bringth in another crate.’

She handed him his glass and accepted his payment. This time he leant back on the bar and surveyed the room. The small tables dotted around mostly held one or two drinkers, either morosely staring into a glass or talking quietly. One table had 5 people, who varied in colour from light green to a subtle dark blue with silver spots, seated around it talking vigorously and occasionally breaking out into wild, racous laughter.

A group at a booth against one wall were playing Galactic Monopoly and seemed to include a plastic box full of lights as a player – in fact it was apparently Banker!!!! And it seemed to think it was winning as it happily charged rent to some poor player who had landed on  Space City with 3 Casinos and appropriate fees. The unlucky player paid up with a groan and a vow to not play Orac again – whoever or whatever Orac was.

In the middle of the room was a large, regulation size pool table. 2 men in capes and tights were seriously playing against each other – the watchers tense as the guy with the “S” prominently on his chest sized up his shot. Neither seemed to feel embarrassed by the odd way they apparently wore their underwear on the outside, but then compared to some of the customers they probably did not stand out at all.

A tall, slender woman with blue skin, no hair and a peaceful look in her eyes sat on a stool nearby. She had a look of contentment and serentiy, as if little could touch her with harmful intent, yet she was not divorced from the surroundings. She noticed his glance and smiled and introduced herself.

'You are new here? I am Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan' she said and gave a small formal nod. She seemed to expect him to identify title from name..

'I'm sorry - they call me Gordon - Flash Gordon. Seems I got a bit lost and pulled over for directions, and well, here I am - wherever 'here' is'

Zhaan smiled 'Here is the Black Stump, a pub betweent the Universes.' It was pretty obvious that Flash did not know what she meant. 'Imagine the universes as a bunch of grapes - this inn inhabits the space between.'

'Ohh?'

'Yes, its a place out of time and space, a place to relax, have a drink, get your bearings. You never know who you might meet. You met me, for instance.'

'And I am delighted to have done so. Have you been here long?'

'Not long, my companions are off to visit a planet that has strong fungicidal fumes, and I prefer to avoid any contact at all. So I chose to wait here. They have delightful accommodations should you ever need a room.'

Flash was not quite certain whether to take that statement as in invitation to join her, or just information. Choosing the safer option he replied. 'Thank you, I will keep that in mind.'

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2: How? Why? and Who?

Summary:

some history of the Black Stump

Chapter Text

chapter 2

As Flash continued to lean and sip, his new friend, who preferred to be called Zhaan, rather than by her titles, asked if there were anything else he would like to know.

He thought about it. He had plenty of time, so why not. 'Sure, tell me how this place got its name'

They had been joined by a little, furry green person who gestured at Zhaan for permission to answer, she nodded.

'Well, thats a bit complicated. The Hole was first found by humans - they are the most curious of all spacefaring species that have been encountered so far. You only have to tell them not to touch and there they are, poking around and finding out more than they thought they wanted. An early adventuring group came across a sign apparently hanging in space that read 'Do Not Enter: That Means You'. It was written large, in every language and repeated audibly over all alarm circuits. Of course, the humans wanted to know why, so they entered.'

'Sounds like us.' agreed Flash 'I think it probably accounts for an awful lot of early ships and crews that set off for parts unknown and never came home again.'

'Yesssss. Anyway, this particular group had started from a place Ostraya, and apparently "Beyond the Black Stump" meant "Way Out Past Everywhere" so the Black Stump is what this place became. When the tribe of Igor's turned up to run the place, they toyed with calling it the Thpacethip Thailorth Thpecial Plathe but realised that most of their operating budget would be taken up in paper towel'

Flash decided that the Black Stump may well be a good place to have a bit of a rest. He picked up a leaflet from the surface beside him and read the offers.

 

“The Hole Mechanics Bay. Your Spaceship Repaired While You Wait”

“The Between the Worlds Rest Spot. A Place to Wait While Your Spaceship is Repaired”

“Universal Seamstresses Guild. Company at Negotiable Rates  While You Wait”

A theme seemed to be showing itself here – apparently the theme was Waiting, and what to do while you did. His ship was a little battered, and he had become a little tired of his own company – here was as good a place as anywhere to rest and recouperate.

Zhaan excused herself. ‘I have a meeting with the local Priests Gathering. All Faiths are welcome, and they run a rota for ceremonial purposes. I like to catch up with them when I am here.’

Flash finished his scotch and considered what he might do next.

The little furry green person gained his attention again. ‘I’m sorry, I did not introduce myself. My name is Aldo AldoChus, from a little planet you probably never heard of – Zinderbol…’

‘Well you’re right there, never heard of it.’

‘Never mind, not much of a planet anyway – very glad to be shot of it.’ said Aldo.

Flash finished his drink and decided to go and arrange for the attention his ship needed. He farewelled Aldo and headed off to the entrance.

When he got there, he followed the signs to the Hole Mechanics Bay, where he found a shiny, gold coloured android who was named C3PP- ‘Call me Pete.’ he said as he took details of the work Flash thought the ship might need.

‘Not a problem sir, my team will fully check out the ship and attend to any problems we might find. I assure you of our total service. My partner R2D3 and I are determined that no customer leaves unsatisfied.’

As C3PP mentioned his partner he gestured at a small android that looked for all the world like a large barrel shaped vaccuum cleaner on three wheels. It beeped and whistled back.

The team of mechanics apparently consisted of a band of small furred creatures known as Gremlins, who swarmed over the nearest spaceship in the dock. These little guys squeaked continuously at each other, tossing tools to and from as required. They appeared to work quickly and instinctively. With such a large group working all at once, it seemed that the whole ship was getting treated at once. They might be small, but in tandem with each other they could reach just about anything, anywhere. The dents practically filled out while he watched.

Even so, the total work would take 3 days - mostly because the different layers of protective paint took at least 12 hours to cure between application. So again Flash had to decide what to do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3: Exploring

Summary:

whats available to see and purchase?

Chapter Text

Flash wandered out of the Hole Mechanics Bay and into the arcade of shops that ran outside it. He had lots of time on his hands - no one was shooting at him or chasing him or trying to marry him. It was like an unexpected holiday. He window shopped as he walked along, hands in his pockets.

There were a lot of things to see in these windows, many of which he recognised but some he definitely didn't. What on earth was that tool with 7 arms, 3 curved outwards in different directions and the other 4 appeared to intertwine. He really did not know nor could he imagine what it might be for. It was too big to be some kind of weird corkscrew and too small to be a coatrack. He was reminded of the game "Twenty Questions" where the first question was 'is it bigger than a lunchbox?'

Another item that caught his eye had the type of handle you might expect of a screwdriver, but the head seemed retractable and perhaps it rotated. It had buttons on its base and was labled 'Sonic Screwdriver - sold as is' which was never a hopeful tag. It suggested that repairs might be required and it might never actually work in the way it intended, whatever that was.

One window belonged to an armourer. It included every kind of weapon Flash had ever imagined, and many he hadn't. There were tiny cylindrical or round grenades, pistols from all periods of history, and holographs of the largest weapons which included one labled "Death Star" and was pictured with a planet for scale - the two were nearly the same size. 'Schematics available for perusal'.

Body armour available included both physical and forcefield generator, from the small personal type to the sort that protected a large space ship.

There were some pictures and displays of things he did not really want to know the purpose of but he knew he would never be able to unsee them

He was not sure whether the series of hooks anchored to a skull were torture or medical equipment, or perhaps some esoteric type of cyber enhancement. Speaking of which, cyber upgrades were available. There was a list

Total Body Mod - we can replace that fleshy body with a hardy, metal substitute.
Nearly indestructible, self repair facilities built in. We only need to add your brain.
Total service - stay here while you learn to drive your wonderful new body. Choices of robotic finish, or synthetic flesh.

 

Don't need a full upgrade?
Want to forget your past?
Still got years of usable time in the old model?
Why not consider becoming a Mutoid?
We will blank your mind and upload all the files you need,
while dealing with all those memories you no long want
Let "Memory is an Encumberance" be your new motto.
Comes complete with a years supply of Mutoid Serum
and your first new contract.

 

Chapter 4: Garaging

Summary:

what is parked outside?

Chapter Text

Out in the parking lot were a rather peculiar collection of vehicles and transport devices. Next to the rather trim space yacht was a collection of bicycles, including a Penny Farthing and a 3person tandem bike with flags attached.

Taking up one whole corner of the yard was a large building. Over the opened upper halves of several of the doors were seen the heads of horses, a dragon - small, and other steeds. They seemed to get on well with each other, even though one of the cutest had the longest, sharpest teeth Flash had ever seen close up.