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My immortal 2.0 Sherlock AU

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One cold winter morning John stepped out of the house. Sherlock was waiting for him, and when John opened the door, he hit Sherlock. "Oh shit sorry Sherlock", says John.

Sherlock loses his grip on his phone, which goes tumbling to the ground and falls into a puddle. "NOOOO I JUST GOT THE SCREEN FIXED" cries Sherlock.

They both try to get it and they bump heads. John shrugs and walks down the street. Sherlock is left with his broken phone *couch*heart*cough*. Sherlock cries, but kinda gets hopeful bc he can finally get the new iphone.

#rosegold phone. He goes to the store shouting: "HEYYY DO YOU HAVE THESE IN PINK"

Meanwhile John has a coffee with Harry. Harry looks worried. "And you just walked away? Why didn't you stay?"

John rolls his eyes and leaves the coffeeshop? :') John's leg hurts. He walks to the Local Phone store, The Only One In London™, And Finds Sherlock. He immediately sees Sherlock's new phone with the fuzzy case.

"Are you sure about this case? I prefer my detective's phone clean-shaved", he asks.

"But it's cute and i want it!" complains Sherl. "I want everyone to know I'm gay They see but don't observe!! I already put a shit ton of product and am swishy and dainty! This is my last resort" He calms down a bit. "Also it's fab"

"What you're gay Sherlock?? I had no idea hahahahahhahahahaahah", John almost shouts, panicing a bit and trying to laugh it off. "I'm bi lol"

"Yeah I know"


"C'mon John!!"


"Every sodding girl you date wears the SAME DAMN COAT that I wear", Sherlock complains, turning dramatically around.

"I don't see what you're talking about", John still tries. But he Knows that the game is over.

Sherlock turns and walks rly close to John's face. "There is lightening in the bi colors whenever I look at you, I know that you and Sholto were an item" Dramatic pause. "Also you subconsciously flirt with me at times"

John, now accepting the truth says: "Yeah ok I'm bi" Awkward silence ensues. "So what now?"

"Home. Now", Sherlock says surely. John nods.

They start speedwalking towards 221b. John breaks the silence. "We never really married. I did a thing with Mycroft. It wasn't ever legal. Also she rip bc some assassins last Thursday. Came to our house and shot her"

"What a tragedy" says Sherlock.

They arrive at their living room.

"Please can I kiss you Sherlock? You're so pretty"

"Yes pls John : >"

They kiss on the couch and suddenly John turns into a hedgehog. "This is my true form", he says shyly.

Sherlock turns into an otter. "I'll love you no matter what. It's okay."

They are kissing, John on top bc spikes. Soon they turn back into humans because it's better for kissing

"I love you Sherlock"


And they go nsfw.