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Goodbye, Dean

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The kiss was small, yet it held so many emotions and unsaid words.

It was just a small brush of the lips, it was quick, chaste and yet it left him breathless.

It said everything he couldn’t say. It told him of all the countless times they sat on top of the Impala, enjoying the night sky and drinking cheap beer, not uttering a single word to each other. It reminded him sadly of all the opportunities he had missed, those moments where they were so close to each other, when their hands accidentally brushed or when they were laughing and their eyes met, and they could both see the true happiness inside.

It spoke of what they could have - should have - been. It whispered sweet promises of happiness, love and the true feeling of home. It mourned for the future that never was; the two of them drinking coffee, holding hands, stealing secret kisses, inching closer to each other during a stormy night or during the cold winters.

It took hold of his heart and crushed it painfully, screaming at him that he should have done something sooner, that if he didn’t compress his feelings then none of this would have happened, that he would have tried harder if he went along with his feelings. It bitterly snarled that because of this, the two of them were hurting, and that if he did something sooner then it wouldn’t hurt so bad.

But he didn’t do anything, and it did.

It felt like someone was squeezing his heart tightly, pressing down on his lungs so that it was hard to breathe. They were pinning him down and had a strong hand over his mouth so that it was impossible to kick and scream, to let them know that there was still time.

There always was.

Castiel pulled away with a small sigh and a sad smile on his face. Dean knew what was about to happen. He had seen it happen to other hunters countless times, for a moment he thought there could be a way, however he knew it would be hopeless. And he felt his heart shatter. A large gaping hole now rested heavily on his chest, becoming heavier as each second passed and oozing a poison making it much more painful than it should be.

The sound of screaming grew louder, the door wasn’t going to hold much longer. Castiel glanced at it, his eyes sorrowful and teary. He turned and rested his forehead against Deans.

“Goodbye, Dean.” he whispered as the door creaked dangerously.

Dean swallowed thickly, and closed his eyes so that the tears wouldn’t fall.

“Bye Cas.”