BURNING. HE WAS BURNING! MAKE IT STOP! Please make it stop.
"I DESERVE TO BE LOVED! I just want to be loved."
Crowley jumps in surprise. He didn't know what he was saying. But it was true. So true.
An hour later
"Where do I...even...start to...look for...forgiveness?"
"How about we start with this?" Sam holds up the needle full of his blood. Crowley tips his head and closes his eyes, accepting it. Accepting the burning that was slowly cleansing him.
He feels a hand on his head, brushing his hair back. He shivers, he can't help it. It's been so long since any one touched him with anything similar to kindness or affection. All he's received for the last he-can't-remember-how-long were blows and harsh words.
He leans into the touch. The soft petting is all he can feel. The burnings faded and he doesn't know when it stopped but the caress continued.
He opens his eyes to slowly look up at Sam and he cant read the expression there but he can see something soft in his shadowed eyes. Something warm.
Another hand joins the first on his face. Wiping the blood away. Sam's hands are so big. He never noticed. Sure, he'd noticed the height but his hands. They felt like they could crush his scull but were holding it so gently.
He bares his neck again, showing he was ready.
"That was the last one," Sam says. He bends at the waist, tilting Crowley's head to meet his. Not kissing, just breathing the same air.
"Just a little longer," whispers Sam.
"Please," comes the choked reply. "Please...Sam"
He doesn't know what he's asking for but trusts Sam to give it to him.
Sam softly, ever so softly, touches their lips together. Just a brush of skin.
He pulls back, then goes back in. Stronger this time. Crowley starts to move against him, kissing back. A tongue seeks entry and lips part, allowing access. The tongue plunders and tastes Crowley's mouth. It flicks a sensitive spot and Crowley lets out a breathy whimper.
The kisses stop and Sam stands slowly. His eyes are blood shot, with bags under them. He looks worn and used up. Crowley doesn't know how long the trial went on but the time showed on Sam.
His movements are sluggish as he moves to unbind Crowley. The chains drop away and clatter to the floor. The both startle at the sudden sound and Sam shows a wry grin.
"I could sleep for a week," Sam says. Crowley nods slowly.
Sam holds out a giant paw of a hand for Crowley to take. He hesitates and looks up at Sam. A question in his eyes.
"It's alright. I'm not going to hurt you." That wasn't the answer, but it allowed Crowley to take the offered hand. He didn't have the strength to stand and was pulled up. Neither let go.
"The sleeping roll is over here."
Sam led him over to the far side of the room to a short pad. A crude bed. Crowley hadn't slept on anything but the softest bed in a few hundred years. Or sleep at all for that matter. One thing did bother him though. There was only one.
He looked at Sam. Hesitant.
"Oh, please. We are both too tired for any funny business. Just lay down and go to sleep."
Crowley almost collapsed on it, while Sam carefully folded himself around the ex-demon. Wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close. He stiffens.
"For warmth," is the whispered answer to the unasked question. He relaxes. And drifts off to deep breathing.