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Back to You

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Staying in Arkansas had been a retreat for them. Bill had admitted to Hillary that he had been going to counseling, in which Hillary had admitted that she knew already. She accompanied him on his sessions. She also joined him during prayer meetings. During their stay there they were able to forgive each other for their shortcomings and weaknesses.

Bill and Hillary sat in front of the fire inside their house. She sat in the space between his legs while Bill had his arms wrapped around her stomach, his chin on her shoulder. He held her while he told her all the details of his indiscretion and of his childhood. He held her tight while she sobbed in his arms. He whispered agonizingly after his confession, "I hope you can forgive me, so you can help me find a way to forgive myself. I need you to forgive me." Hillary nodded, turned to face him, and cradled his face. "I forgive you. Of course, I forgive you. I think I have given it even before you asked. But please hold me." She said in between sobs, while Bill had kissed her palms, and held her tighter.

They cried that night and held each other. It might had been heavy but as the sun had risen they felt more relieved. Bill had felt his burden had been lifted. Hillary had felt at peace in her heart. Hillary had encouraged Bill to finish all of his sessions and she had been with him all throughout the time. She had been very supportive and had believed so much in him that he will be able to get through his personal issues.

Bill had never been more grateful for her strength and her love. He thought that without it, he may not able to overcome his own demons.

They also spent some of their time reading his unsent letters. Bill wanted to throw them away but Hillary kept them saying that it would be a good reminder of their journey together. There were few things that they enjoyed during their stay: Bill started to play his sax again, while Hillary had started learning to bake again. Bill would sit on the stool facing her as he would watch her tie her apron and start kneading the dough. Sometimes he would get in the way of her cooking. He'd go behind her and would wrap his arms around her waist and would start nibbling her neck, whisper naughty things until he would get her turned on. Most of the time they'd successfully end up making a pie, or sometimes they would end up on the bed instead with their bodies tangled together.

They also found a comforting hobby: walking in the woods. It had been an automatic that by 08:00 AM or by 04:00 PM they'd go to the woods walking. They found a small world of their own during those time where in they could get away from reality. These walks allowed them to appreciate simple joy of just being together. This is where they would share laughters, stories, and debates. Bill realized that he could not imagine sharing this kind of precious time with someone else, and it's only through Hillary he found his equal.

Hillary had shared to him that soon she'll be announcing her intention to run so they have to go back to New York to start preparing. While they were both sad that their "retreat" was about to end. They had never been more ready to face the world.

"You should know that when I start campaigning people would throw things again on us." Hillary said one night as they sat outside on their porch listening to the crickets serenading them. Bill placed his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer comforting her for what awaits them. "I know." He said devoid of any emotion. Hillary looked up at him searching his eyes. "You seem sad." He smiled but she noticed that it did not reach his eyes. "I'm not sad. I'm just thinking if I should stay away from you so you could focus on your career." Hillary looked at him unbelievingly. "What?! After all we have been through. You're letting me go?" He laughed and pressed a kiss on her cheeks. "I love you that much I am considering to let you go." She playfully tapped his nose. "Too bad for you I love you so much I am not letting you go." Bill smiled touched at her response. "It was just something that I had consider, but if you want me to stay, I'll stay." "But why would you do that?" She asked worried. "Ever since our stay here in Arkansas, I've come to discover something. It's that I don't want to be selfish, not to you or to your happiness. You don't know how willing I am to give you everything." He told her sincerely looking at her eyes. Hillary felt her heart swell with love. "I love you too much, Bill. I want you to be with me." She told him then she pressed a kiss on his lips giving back all the love that she had for him.

She made love with him that night, taking control, driving him mad with need and pleasure. "Please," Bill groaned just above her lips. He was sitting with his legs crossed in an Indian sitting position, while she sat on his lap, her legs wrapped around his waist. He was hard inside her but she wasn't moving. It was plain torture for him: to be held inside her body, trapped in her heat. She ran her hand on his hair giving him goosebumps. The air was thick with the scent of their sex. The candles that she had prepared to use as light instead of lamp had starting dripping and had added heat in air, their shadows playing on the room. Hillary bent her head back enjoying the feeling of him. Bill took the opportunity to run his lips on the length of her neck. "Darlin'," he pleaded against her skin "please ... I ... I can't take it anymore." Hillary gently held his face nodded and moved, riding him slow until she found her pace. Bill held her hips and helped her in her rhythm until she started moaning deep and low. He pressed his lips against hers openly kissing her, drinking her moans until finally they found their release.

Bill held her in a spoon position, feeling her skin. This woman lying beside him is a gem that he needs to take care of. He knew that she was born to shine brighter than the stars. She was a force to be reckoned with. She was strength, and love, and loyalty. She was even bigger than him. It humbled him, that this woman who deserves so much decided to be with him. He pressed a kiss on the back of her head feeling grateful that God had given him the blessing to be with someone as strong as her. Maybe it was His gift to him after all the hardship he encountered in his life. Probably.

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New York, 2000

"Hillary! Hillary! Hillary!" The crowd cheered. The venue was already set for Hillary to announce her bid for Senate. The place was packed with supporters, media, spectators, family, and friends. Backstage Hillary watched the crowd waiting for her turn to make her announcement. She found it so surreal. Before, it was the name of her husband that people were clamoring, now it was her turn. She never knew that this day would come. She never expected that it will even come. It used to be a league not for her sexes but the times had been changing. Women were taking position that used to be occupied by men. Hillary also rallied for that. Now she wanted to ensure that she takes her place and make history in politics.

She felt some approach her from behind and knew it was her husband even before he arrived and placed his hands on both of her arms. His hands, then sliding to embrace her from behind. "Thank you," she whispered leaning back against his chest. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head, "for what?" He asked. "For being with me, for coming around, for sticking, and for fighting for me." She felt him smile against her hair, "this is nothing compared to what you have done for me." He told her as he joined her watching the crowd. Hillary held his hand, loving its strength and its beauty. She always loved his hands. She looked at his wedding ring that he never took off only when he's about to sleep or take his shower. Then she heard him continue speaking, "what is important is our promise to each other, that whatever happens, however bumpy the ride will be for the next few years we'll always go back to each other —", "I'll always go back to you, honey." She completed. "Yes, and I'll always go back to you too." He echoed tightening his embrace, as he dropped a kiss on her temple.