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draw my future, erase my past

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chris shouldn't be in love with a fucking fictional character, especially one he created.

every morning he walks into robert's coffee shop, orders a black coffee with three spoonfuls of sugar. If he is feeling particularly risky he will get a chunk of red velvet cake that rob's partner don creates, but those are only on the good days and he hasn't had one of those in a long time.

"usual coffee chris?" rob questions, he had been the one manning the till whilst don was still icing a chocolate fudge cake.

"hmm? yeah sure, same price?" chris replied absentmindedly as rob nods.

"you got it bro" rob says, typing the order into the machine with one hand and fixing his trademark sunglasses with the other.

after rob reassured him he could sit down and his coffee would be right over, chris took a seat at an empty round wooden table with a tall, hard chair. he pulled out a pad of fresh paper and his special drawing pencil.

slowly, he started tracing an outline of a face. he didn't know where he was getting this image from but he started adding a blond beard, a muscular body and made him tall and strong. he didn't know what to name this man that he had just created off the top of his head. he didn't realise how deep he was in his work until rob murmured something and his head shot right up.

"um i’m sorry, what did you say?" chris asked, as rob carefully set down his coffee on the table.

"i said that looks a bit like a norse god? like i don't know, is it loki? one second lemme ask don" rob said, chris was about to stop him saying that he didn't need to disturb don and potentially ruin his hard work over something as stupid as which norse god was blond and buff, but rob was already shouting across the shop.

"don honey! what's that norse god that's buff as fuck?" rob screamed, as chris winced.

"the one with big ass shoulders?" don said, popping his head out of the kitchen door. rob double checked chris's drawing and nodded.

"yeah that's thor" don replied as robert snapped his fingers.

"i knew that!" rob exclaimed as chris shook his head, rob clearly didn't know that, but chris was still intrigued about this 'thor' and wanted to know more.

so after bidding goodbye to rob and don (who popped out of the kitchen and gave chris a long hug) he made his way to the public library to find more about the god he drew.

walking into the library, he bumped into aaron who was putting some books on a cart.
"sorry i didn't see you there" aaron said, running a hand through his messy hair.

"it's fine aaron, i should be the one apologizing anyways but now you're here, you can help me i guess" chris replied, awkwardly.

"of course chris, anything i can help with i will" aaron exclaimed, puffing up a bit of hair that fell in his face.

"do you have books on thor, the god of mythology?" chris asked quietly in case someone could overhear and question him about why he, a grown ass man was asking for books on a fictional, norse god.

"i think so" aaron said, hesitatingly, "one second, let me just go question yasmin for you" chris wanted to stop him but he couldn't and already aaron had turned around to shout to the blonde.

"yasmin!" he shouted, as his girlfriend turned around from the highest floor of the library.
"yes babe?" she replied.

"do we have any books on" he stopped his query and turned to look at chris, mouthing 'thor the norse god' with a quizzical look on his face, as just chris nodded. "shore the sea sod"
yasmin was puzzled and chris facepalmed. before whispering into the brown haired boys ear.

"no i am sorry, i meant thor the norse god" he said, a few seconds later.

"yes we have quite a few, check out the mythology section and there should be a subsection saying norse mythology and you should find some" yasmin replied, getting back to her boring desktop admin work.

aaron pointed chris in the way of that section and went on his way, putting his earphones in and humming hollaback girl under his breath.

chris walked straight there as fast as he could, he started scanning the novels to find the one best suited to him. there were many on that loki fellow that rob had mentioned earlier, a few on odin and one on a heimdall? but still none on thor, until he turned around and saw a book lying on one of the empty tables, picking it up he took it to yasmin’s desk and checked it out.
sliding it into his bookbag that was slung over his shoulder, he entered tessa and leen's restaurant.

"chris! i'm so glad you came to visit!" tessa had said, hugging the taller male who blushed a little bit although he would never admit it. leen had never really been a one for hugging so she had settled for affectionately slapping his arm.

tessa ushered him in letting him take a seat at the table and offering him a menu before striding back into the kitchen. leen slid into the seat in front of him, she lowered his menu so they could look each other in the eyes, she leaned forward and chris gulped.

"you do know she's been waiting for you to come here ever since the day she opened, which was almost four years ago now" leen whispered, as chris leaned back.

"well what? am i supposed to reply to that? that wasn't even a fucking question leen!" chris exclaimed, fingering the ketchup bottles.

"i just wanted to know, why today?" leen questioned, looking at chris who averted his gaze to the pristine, laminate menu that tesa had set in front of him.

"i just felt like it and if you have a problem with that then you can leave" the brunette snapped, pulling out his pad and pencil as leen shrugged and left him be.

after ordering some steak and fries, he sat down and pulled out the book about the norse god that he got out of the libary and started to draw him. he had drawn his face and arms, then instead of drawing him in his traditional trademark armor, he decided to draw him in a white shirt, a soft flannel and jeans with boots and it just escalated from there.

it seemed that he was constantly drawing thor doing simple domestic things such as cleaning, cooking, dressing, dancing, baking and even sleeping. he gave him a dog, a life, a whole new persona and it was easy to see that chris had gotten a little bit obsessed.

"it's not normal chadwick" sebastian said to the man across from him who nodded. "why is he constantly drawing this character, it's taken over his goddamn life!"

"i know seb, but maybe it's his way of coping after you know who" chadwick replied, softly.

"i know but it's been six years chadwick, you would've thought he'd be over it by now" seb said, as chadwick just gave him that look.

"if liyah died, how long would you grieve for her?" chadwick asked sebastian who looked taken aback.

"forever" sebastian said with no hesitation as chadwick nodded.

"exactly, you can't blame the guy" chadwick replied.

"well, we can question him over it at dinner tonight" sebastian said, taking a sip of his red wine.

"what?" chadwick exclaimed, he wasn't aware they had any plans that night.

"liyah wanted to invite you and him over for a sunday roast" sebastian said, nonchalantly swirling the last amount of wine in his glass.

"i love liyah's food, but y'all know i hate confrontation" chadwick said absentmindedly.

"well you can't let my girl down, she's been seasoning food all damn day" sebastian drained the last of his wine and swallowed the last of his panini.

"ok fine i'll turn up but you better be the one to intervene" chadwick replied, putting 10 dollars on the table to pay for his meal and pulling on his jacket.

"oh i'm not getting involved" sebastian smirked, as chadwick looked puzzled.

"liyah is"

the four of them where sat around the table, liyah and chadwick in deep conversation about many things ranging from blm to wedding preparations with sebastian chiming in occasionally, but he was too preoccupied with shoveling his food into his mouth. chris was in the corner, slowly taking cautious bites of his food.

"chris?" liyah asked, as they all turned to look at him.

"hmm?" chris hummed, taking another bite of his chicken. liyah exchanged a look with her fiancé who nodded at her.

"we wanted to talk to you" liyah softly said, moving to sit across from chris and put her small hand over his larger one.

"we?" chris murmured looking behind her, liyah turned around to see that seb and chad had abandoned her, she sighed to herself.

sebastian was sooo sleeping on the couch tonight.

"well i wanted to check on you sweetheart, i know you haven't been doing well since you know who and i just wanted you to know i'm always here for you ok?" liyah said, a soft smile gracing her features.

"thanks liyah but i'm fine" chris said firmly.

"are you sure?" liyah said, moving to sit next to him.

"no? i mean yes of course" chris said, more trying to convince himself rather then the woman sitting beside him.

"come here sweetheart" liyah said, enveloping chris in her slender arms. chris clutched at her as he tried to keep the tears at bay.

"i mean it was all my fucking fault! everything good i have got going for me i push away! why liyah? i don't deserve anything good i'm such a fuck up and i wish they had never met me because maybe they would still fucking be here!" chris moaned as liyah rocked him back and forth, whispering soothing words into his ear.

"sweetheart, they adored you and just because she is no longer with us doesn't mean she regrets anything that happened when she was ok?" liyah whispered, giving her best friend a kiss on the forehead as he nodded, tears still streaming down her face.

"come on love, let's get you to sleep" liyah said, helping chris get up and taking him to the guest room. passing him some spare clothes and leaving to let him get dressed, liyah walked downstairs to see chadwick and seb standing there awkwardly with their hands in their pockets but their eyes quickly locked on hers as they saw her.

"so? how did it go?" sebastian said as soon as he put his hands on his arms.

"i didn't talk to him about it" liyah replied, her gaze on the tiles on the ground. chad and seb both made noises of disgust.

"hey! you guys abandoned me! what was i supposed do?" liyah said angrily as sebastian and chadwick looked bashful.

"ok we'll have to stage another intervention, let's do it after our wedding ok?" sebastian said to liyah as chadwick chimed in.

"damn sebby i didn't know we were getting married! i think a guy should know this kind of information!" sebastian playfully made a face of disgust and pushed chadwick as they laughed.

"well he's in the guest room so don't make lots of noise kay?" the boys nodded as liyah went upstairs to bed.

"should we be nice gentleman like our mothers taught us how to be and do the dishes?" chadwick said as sebastian considered the query.

they both simultaneously looked at each other before shaking their heads and walking off to watch the football game.

after a while, chadwick left and sebastian went upstairs to see his fiancée of a few months, lying in bed with her curly hair in a bun with some curls escaping.

he leant over for a kiss but was blocked by her hand. when he groaned she tossed him a pillow and a blanket.

“is this because we abandoned you?”

she pursed her lips and nodded as sebastian made a sound of protest before moving into the spare room.

they didn’t last long however, because in the next hour she was in his room and he was in between her legs.

chris woke up the next morning to see that he was in an unfamiliar bed. he quickly swung his legs out of the cocoon of warmth and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. he stared into the mirror to see big bags under his eyes and his face was still red from the night before.

"fuck, chris what happened to you?" he whispered to his reflection as if it could talk back to him. he walked downstairs in his red pajama bottoms and white top that probably belonged to seb, and saw liyah in a rose gold nightdress frying sausages and seb beaming in his boxers sitting at the tall chairs on the kitchen counter, eating a bowl of cereal.

noticing chris, he smiled with his mouth full of food and waved.

"mornin' chris" liyah said, her face had been scrubbed of make up and her curly hair was in a messy bun. she served him a plate of bacon and eggs from the batch she was making.

"thanks lili" chris murmured as liyah gave him a soft smile.

"um what about me chris? i sit here looking all pretty and shit for you and you fucking ignore me? fuck you!" sebastian says with mock hurt, putting a hand on his chest. liyah lightly slapped him on his arm before giving him a quick kiss which he tried to deepen.

"boy quit playing, leave chris alone" liyah sternly said, but her slight smile could show that she was joking.

"i'm so sorry king sebastian, you are the prettiest of them all" chris said, throwing his arms out as if to illustrate this fact. sebastian nodded smugly at his fiancée who rolled her eyes.

“you should tell liyah that because she doesn’t appreciate me enough”

“boy fuck you” she then turned to chris.

"chris, you left some clothes here the last time you came by the way so you can wear them" liyah said, handing her friend his blue jumper, white t-shirt and beige pants back.

"thank you" chris replied, putting them to the side and taking a long slurp of orange juice.
after getting changed and hugging both sebastian and liyah, he set off for don & rob's coffee shop making sure he grabbed his drawing pad and pencils.

"hey chris!" tom holland, the college student that don and rob treated as a son, said. he was manning the till today as it was a saturday.
"hey kid, can i have the usual?" chris replied, as tom beamed and nodded.

chris moved to sit at his usual table and started finishing his comic about thor as tom walked over putting chris's coffee down on the surface.
"that's really good!" tom commented, as chris looked up and gave him a little half grin.
"is it finished yet? the comic?" tom asked, sliding into the seat opposite chris as chris looked puzzled.

"wait a minute, if you're here who's manning the till?" chris questioned as tom motioned over to the flirty man at the till.

"that's ryan, it's his shift now" tom replied as chris nodded.

"so, about the comic, can i read it?" tom said smiling at the older man. chris shrugged and passed his pad over to tom who grabbed it eagerly.

chris sat there, taking careful sips of his hot coffee till it turned lukewarm, watching the college student get engrossed in a comic he wrote. it kinda felt like a violation of his privacy, what he and thor had was private, it was intimate but tom already had the comic now and he wouldn't be a little bitch and snatch it off of him.

"this is so good chris!" tom exclaimed, his eyes lighting up as he passed the comic back to evans.

"really?" chris replied, not entirely sure about his comic book skills. tom nodded before suddenly he clicked his fingers.

"i could get this published! my girlfriend zendaya's father owns a comic book company? maybe you've heard of it? it's called marvel." tom nonchalantly replied, as chris was shocked.

marvel? as in the marvel studios? as in the creators of spiderman, hulk, iron man, captain america and black panther?

"you really think my thor is that good?" chris questioned as tom nodded, beaming.
"i'll make some calls ok, i'll update you as soon as possible"

after 6 months of updating, rewriting, redrawing and redesigning, the thor comics had finally hit the shelf and they were selling like hotcakes. critics loved it, the fans loved it, marvel loved it and most importantly chris loved it.

everyone loved thor just as much as chris did and as soon as he was given the opportunity to make it into a movie, he jumped at the chance.
he had personally picked the actors that were playing loki, sif and heimdall but the director had decided who would play thor and chris couldn't help out.

after wandering around the set with his starbucks and access all areas badge, chris was eating a bagel he managed to steal from the refreshments table. he was suddenly called over by the director.

"hi chris! i would like you to met your thor!" the director said brightly, introducing chris the the most delicious looking man he had ever seen.

he resembled chris's thor so much with his tall frame, blond hair and twinkling blue eyes that expressed so much feeling. he was dressed in a hoodie and jeans and his hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, he beamed at chris and held his hand out.

"hi i'm chris hemsworth" he smiled, his thick australian accent shining through.

chris was shocked, all he could mouth was an 'oh shit' when this god like man pulled him in for a heavenly hug.

maybe chris shouldn't have been in love with a fucking fictional character, especially one he created, but he has his own thor because of it and he would never let him go.