Chapter 1: Lies
I promised myself I wouldn't have more than 2 WIPs at a time, but I've been really struggling with my other omegaverse fic, so I'm doing this one as a writing exercise for my original. The chapters will be pretty short, but it'll definitely be updated regularly.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“Iwa-chan, how do you feel about sex?”
Iwaizumi nearly choked on the piece of tofu he’d been about to swallow. Oikawa hit him on the back several times while he tried to breathe again.
“What?” he wheezed when he was finally able to breathe again.
Oikawa looked unimpressed. “How do you feel about sex?” he repeated.
They were sitting in Iwaizumi’s room doing homework—Iwaizumi laying on the bed while Oikawa was leaning back in the desk chair, which was balanced precariously on two legs. Oikawa was watching Iwaizumi expectantly, though nonchalantly. He wore a completely relaxed expression, as though he’d just made a comment about the weather or had asked about an assignment.
“I—” Iwaizumi felt his face heat up. He knew that Oikawa wasn’t talking about sex in general. He was asking how Iwaizumi felt about having sex. With him. With Oikawa. With the person he’d known since he was a kid. The person he was, supposedly, supposed to bond with.
Y’know, in the future. The far distant future. A future so far that Iwaizumi had absolutely no reason to even think about sex right now, much less sex with Oikawa.
Oikawa seemed to pick up on his distress, because he suddenly walked over and pulled Iwaizumi against his chest. “My poor innocent Iwa-chan! Has the thought of having sex with the great Oikawa-san flustered his virginal brain and rendered him incapable of speech?” He winked. “Or are you just having sexual fantasies about me again?”
Iwaizumi shoved Oikawa away, turning to hide his now burning face. “Idiot,” he muttered, “when have I ever had sexual fantasies about you?”
“Don’t deny it, Iwa-chan,” he said, shaking a finger as he sat on the floor. “I know what you’re thinking about during your heats.” He leaned closer, practically pressing his face against Iwaizumi’s. “You’re thinking about me, aren’t you?” he whispered, and Iwaizumi instantly knew that this was Oikawa’s attempt at being seductive. “Licking around your hole, so wet that I don’t even need to finger—”
Iwaizumi punched him in the arm, effectively ending Oikawa’s attempt at talking dirty. Which admittedly, he wasn’t awful at….
“Well now I know one of your sexual fantasies,” Iwaizumi said, wrinkling his nose as he tried to hide his embarrassment. “And believe me, it’s not something that I ever wanted to know.”
“Do you really not think about me during your heats?” Oikawa asked. He wore a devastated expression that made Iwaizumi think that he might be legitimately upset.
“Well, I….” Iwaizumi couldn’t finish the sentence, because he also couldn’t deny that he’d thought about having sex with Oikawa, though he wasn’t about to admit that Oikawa was the only person he’d ever thought about having sex with. The asshole would never stop teasing him about it if he did.
He dropped his head into his hands and let out a frustrated noise.
“I knew it!” Oikawa crowed, dropping the act. “So what do you think about?” he asked with genuine curiosity.
Iwaizumi didn’t answer. He was too busy regretting all of his life decisions.
He looked up when Oikawa started shaking him. “Cut it out,” he grumbled. “You’re so annoying.”
Oikawa ignored him. “You didn’t answer my original questions, Iwa-chan,” he said. “How do you feel about sex?”
“You mean how do I feel about having sex with you.” He shot Oikawa a glare.
“Well, yeah.” Oikawa rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “That too.”
Iwaizumi sighed. There was no way the brunet was going to leave him alone until he’d answered the question.
“It might not be the worst thing in the world,” he said, not wanting to give Oikawa the satisfaction of knowing that he thought it would be one of the best things in the world.
Oikawa sighed, but determination quickly replaced the look of exasperation on his face. “So you would be open to it, then?” he asked hopefully.
“I … guess? I mean, we’re supposed to bond eventually. Sex kinda goes hand in hand with that, right?” After a pause he added, “Why’re you asking this?” He gave Oikawa a suspicious look.
“We never talked about when we would start having sex,” he said, suddenly timid.
“I thought our parents agreed that we would bond at some point during college.”
Oikawa shrugged. “That was what they suggested. They never said we couldn’t do it sooner. And a lot of people bond during high school. It wouldn’t hurt for us to have sex a couple years sooner, would it?”
Iwaizumi was silent. The longer the silence went, the more nervous Oikawa looked. “Would it?” he asked anxiously. “Iwa-chan?”
“Shut up. I’m thinking.”
“Aw, Iwa-chan, you know what that does to your little brain,” he said in an obvious attempt to hide his unease. “You wouldn’t want to burn it out so quickly, now would you?”
Iwaizumi cut him off. “I’ll consider it on two conditions.” He held up a finger. “Not during my heat,” he said, then held up a second finger, “and no bite marks.”
Oikawa looked thoroughly confused by the requirements. Of course he is, Iwaizumi thought wryly. Oikawa, as intelligent as he was, had never really given a second thought to his relationship with Iwaizumi. He was loyal, almost to a fault, and probably hadn’t even considered that he could do better. So much better.
As badly as he wanted Oikawa, Iwaizumi didn’t want to take that option away from him. Not this early, at least.
He had a feeling, based on their academic interests and Oikawa’s athletic ability, that they would be going to separate universities. And while Oikawa would be unhappy at first, Iwaizumi knew that it would be good for both of them. Or rather, it would be good for Oikawa. He happened to know for a fact that the separation was going to make him miserable, because Iwaizumi also knew for a fact that he could never do better than Oikawa.
“Why not?” he asked. There was a hurt look on his face, and suddenly Iwaizumi wanted to take it all back.
“I just think that it’s too early,” he said, hesitating a little. “We’re both still really young. There’s no need to rush into it. It couldn’t hurt to wait until college like our parents suggested.”
“But….” Oikawa looked like he was about to protest, but he stopped short. “Did I do something wrong?” he whispered. “Do you not want to bond with me?”
“Of course I do!” Iwaizumi yelled, smacking Oikawa on the back of the head. At least, that was what he wanted to do. Instead he looked down at his hands, trying to think of something to say that would make Oikawa feel better, but also wouldn’t make him feel locked him into a relationship with Iwaizumi.
“Do you wanna watch a movie,” he asked suddenly. Oikawa gave him an indecipherable look, but nodded mutely. “Great!” Iwaizumi all but exclaimed. “I’m gonna go make popcorn. I’ll … I’ll be right back.” And with that, he bolted out of the room.
When he was in the safety of the kitchen, he finally allowed himself to think. He had never been good with words. That was Oikawa’s thing. He could make the occasional inspirational speech, but there were some situations that he knew better than to talk his way through. This was one of them.
Because if he started talking now, he was going to take it all back. He was going to agree with Oikawa, they were going to bond, and then Oikawa would realize later what a mistake he had made. But by then it would be too late. Oikawa would be stuck with Iwaizumi and he wouldn’t even consider the possibility of leaving him.
Because that was the kind of person he was. The kind who stuck it out even when he didn’t want to. He knew that he would act like everything was alright, but Iwaizumi couldn’t go through the rest of his life looking at Oikawa’s fake smiles as he pretended to be happy. As painful as it would be, he’d rather see Oikawa with someone else than see him unhappy. All he’d ever wanted was for Oikawa to be happy.
The microwave beeped, drawing Iwaizumi out of his thoughts. He pulled the bag out, mentally berating himself for not having paid closer attention. A few pieces were burned because the popcorn setting had always heated it for a little too long. As he dumped it into a bowl, he briefly considered just making a new bag. But Oikawa already thought that something was up. The longer Iwaizumi stayed in the kitchen, the more upset Oikawa would become.
With a sigh, he carried the bowl back to his room, where Oikawa was still sitting in the middle of the floor, not having moved since Iwaizumi had left.
“Oi, Shittykawa,” he said, nudging his friend with his foot. “Hurry up and pick out a movie.”
“You’re letting me choose,” Oikawa said dully. He didn’t even look at Iwaizumi.
“Yeah…? So?” Iwaizumi asked, plopping down on the floor.
“You never let me choose.”
“That’s not true.” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “How many times have you forced me into watching some weird sci-fi or alien movie?” He knew that wasn’t what Oikawa was talking about, though. He’d never given in to Oikawa without a fight, or without at least complaining.
Oikawa didn’t answer, so Iwaizumi opened Netflix and picked out one of Oikawa’s favorites. The one that they had seen so many times that they could both quote the lines. Not that Iwaizumi had ever wanted to. If he could find a way to remove it from Netflix forever, he’d do it in a heartbeat.
He sneaked glances at Oikawa as the movie played. It was painfully obvious that he wasn’t paying attention. He didn’t say a single word, and while his eyes were trained on the screen, his mind seemed to be somewhere else.
Iwaizumi shoved the bowl at his friend. “Want some?” he asked gruffly, doing his absolute best to hide his worry. He’d never gotten through a movie without Oikawa wrestling it away from him, forcing him to get up and make a new bowl.
But Oikawa just shook his head, the first movement that he’d made since Iwaizumi had initially left the room. Finally Iwaizumi just shut the movie off.
“Hey,” he said, bumping Oikawa’s shoulder. “What’s up? You haven’t been this quiet since you got bronchitis and lost your voice back in middle school,” he joked, hoping to get some sort of reaction out of him.
“Nothing,” Oikawa mumbled, getting up, grabbing his bag, and making a move towards the door. Iwaizumi jumped up and blocked his way.
“Don’t give me that shit,” he growled. “Is this about the whole sex thing?”
“Astute observation, Iwa-chan. How ever did you come to that conclusion?” he said sarcastically. But his words lacked their usual bite.
“Look,” Iwaizumi said, dropping his arms, “I’m fine with having sex. Sex is great.” He pointed to the bed. “Let’s have sex right now,” he said, nervously hoping that Oikawa wouldn’t take him up on that. While he did want to have sex with Oikawa, he’d kinda like to have a day or two to mentally prepare himself.
Oikawa gave him a disgusted look and shoved past him. “Is that all this is to you?” he asked, not even turning to look at Iwaizumi. “Just something that you have to do with me?”
“What? No! Of course not!” He grabbed Oikawa’s shoulder, forcing him to turn and look at him. This time Oikawa didn’t look away, instead staring fiercely at Iwaizumi until Iwaizumi was the one who broke eye contact. “I want to have sex with you,” he said, trying to give Oikawa some sort of assurance. “I’m just not ready to bond yet,” he lied quietly.
Oikawa pushed him away. He walked towards the doorway where he pulled on his shoes. He opened the door and slipped out, closing the door softly rather than slamming it (as Iwaizumi had expected him to).
Iwaizumi’s heart sank as he watched, through the window, him walk the short distance to his own house. As much as he wanted to run after Oikawa, to explain what was really going on, he forced himself to stay inside. He really needed his friend to think this through. If he bonded with Iwaizumi, he wanted it to be because he legitimately wanted to bond with Iwaizumi. They shouldn’t rush with this. Oikawa needed to at least realize that he had other options. And if he decided that he didn’t want those options, then Iwaizumi would gladly bond with him first chance he got.
Hell, he’d bond with him on the gym floor in front of the entire team if he knew that Oikawa would never want anyone else.
But he didn’t know that. Not yet, at least. And he had to know for sure before he would do anything.
It was for the best.
Thanks for reading :) If you spot any errors, please let me know!
Chapter 2: Plans
I meant to post this Monday, but then my laptop decided to die, and it sort of threw off my update schedule >.< Sorry it's late! I'm hoping to update my other fics by or before mid next week.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“Mm?” Iwaizumi didn’t bother looking over at his friend, and Oikawa started to wring his hands nervously.
“How … how do you feel about being an omega?” he asked.
That seemed to catch Iwaizumi’s attention and he glanced over at Oikawa, arching a brow slightly. It wasn’t a question Oikawa asked often—if he had even asked it at all. While everyone, including Iwaizumi himself, had expected that he would be an alpha, or at least a beta, Iwaizumi had seemed to accept his secondary gender quietly when he’d presented at age eleven.
Even though Iwaizumi had never conformed to society’s expectations of an omega, he’d never complained either. He had always adapted easily, never resisting change quite as staunchly as Oikawa. Just the same, Oikawa had been a little curious why Iwaizumi hadn’t been more upset about it.
“I feel fine about it, I guess,” Iwaizumi said slowly, grabbing the remote and pausing the volleyball game they’d been watching. He shrugged. “I don’t see why it really matters. It doesn’t change who I am.” He stared at Oikawa suspiciously. “Why?”
“Ummmm.” Oikawa started to fidget, even more nervous than before. Iwaizumi just gave him an exasperated look.
“Spit it out already, dumbass. I wanna finish this before I go home for supper,” he said, nodding towards the TV. He gave Oikawa a hard look. “What’s wrong with you, anyway?”
“Well….” Oikawa was having trouble putting it into words. What was he doing? He’d accepted, or had at least recognized, a long time ago that Iwaizumi would never be his. He’d promised himself that he would be happy with their friendship, which he was apparently trying to sabotage now.
Iwaizumi flipped the TV off completely, then turned to face Oikawa. “What’s going on?” he asked sternly. “Did you do something? Because I swear to god, if you broke my—”
“Howdoyoufeelabouthavinganalpha?” Oikawa said it quickly, horror coursing through him as he did.
Iwaizumi gave him a confused look. “What?”
“Nevermind,” Oikawa mumbled, trying to make himself as small as possible. He flinched when Iwaizumi punched him in the shoulder. “Ow! What was that for?” he yelped, rubbing his shoulder lightly.
“You talk too damn fast,” Iwaizumi said, rolling his eyes. “I literally have no clue what you said.” He grabbed Oikawa’s face, forcing him to look directly at Iwaizumi. “Now say it again,” he instructed.
Oikawa gave up, knowing that Iwaizumi wouldn’t leave or let him leave until he’d repeated himself. He squared his shoulders and stared back at Iwaizumi.
“I said, how do you feel about having an alpha.”
Iwaizumi immediately let go of Oikawa’s face. A light blush dusted his cheeks and he glanced to the side. “You ask stupid questions,” he muttered.
“So you’re not going to try to find one?” Oikawa ventured. The possibility was slightly better than Iwaizumi actually finding and being with another alpha, but not by much.
“I never said that,” he snapped.
“So you are looking for one?” Oikawa asked, feeling a little confused himself.
“I didn’t say that either!” He glared at Oikawa. “Why are you so interested, anyway?”
“I just … I was just curious what kind of alpha you’d want.” Oikawa wanted to smack himself. Could he be any more obvious?
“Preferably the kind that knows when to shut the fuck up,” Iwaizumi said, reaching for the remote again. Before he could, though, Oikawa grabbed his wrist. Iwaizumi glanced over at him. “Something the matter?” he asked. When Oikawa didn’t answer, he looked pointedly at his own wrist, which Oikawa hadn’t let go of.
“I, um.” Oikawa could feel beads of sweat starting to gather around his brow. “Could you see me as it? I mean, as your alpha,” he corrected. “Could you see me as your alpha?” He held his breath, waiting for Iwaizumi’s reaction.
“What,” Iwaizumi deadpanned. He looked Oikawa straight in the eye, as though he were waiting for his friend to admit that it had been a joke.
Oikawa wanted to say it was a joke. He really did. He knew that his friendship with Iwaizumi was on the line here, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to take it back. He chewed on his lip, trying to keep himself from saying anything else stupid.
“Oikawa, what are you saying?” Iwaizumi asked carefully. He grabbed onto Oikawa’s wrist, as well, knowing that the brunet had a tendency to run away when he got nervous or scared. “Oikawa,” he said again, finally snapping him out of his trance.
He let go of Iwaizumi and tugged his own arm, trying to escape the vice-like grip that Iwaizumi held around his wrist.
“Please, Iwa-chan, just—”
“Nope. Now explain.”
Oikawa let out a miserable noise, but finally gave up. “I just wondered if you could see yourself with me,” he said. “That’s all.”
“That’s all?” Iwaizumi echoed. “So you were just wondering if I, like everyone else in the damn universe, could see myself with you.” He didn’t sound pleased at all. “This is a new level of vain, even for you.” He let go of Oikawa and started to get up.
“Wait, it’s not like that,” Oikawa said quickly, realizing that there had been some sort of misunderstanding.
“Yeah? Then what’s it like?” Iwaizumi asked, shoving his things in his bag. As he zipped it up, he gave Oikawa a look, one that said that he didn’t believe a word of what Oikawa was saying. He slung his bag over his back, not expecting a good answer and not bothering to wait for any excuse he expected Oikawa to give.
Oikawa stared after him, wide eyed as he tried to think of something to say.
Don’t say something stupid,’ he begged himself. ‘Please don’t say something stupid.’ Just the same, he had to say something. He couldn’t let Iwaizumi leave like this.
“I love you.” Oikawa said it quickly, his mouth moving faster than his mind. Iwaizumi didn’t turn, so Oikawa started to edge his way towards the window. He was on the second floor, so jumping out wouldn’t do too much damage, right?
“I mean, in a totally not creepy, non-weird way,” he babbled as he started to unlock the window. Before he could undo the second lock, though, a hand grabbed his arm, and Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa flush against his body. Oikawa immediately froze, both shocked by the motion and unsure of what it meant.
“Do you mean that?” Iwaizumi murmured, his face pressed against Oikawa’s hair. Oikawa nodded mutely, and Iwaizumi pulled him even closer, not saying a word, but pressing a small kiss against his forehead.
Oikawa sank into his touch, relief flooding his body. Because while Oikawa had always expressed himself with flowery words and grand speeches, Iwaizumi had a concise way of expressing himself, choosing simple gestures that said just as much as, if not more than, actual words. And his reaction to Oikawa’s confession had been more than enough for Oikawa.
Iwaizumi loved him back. And while Iwaizumi might not be like most omegas, he was the only omega—the only person—that Oikawa would ever want. They were good together, and Oikawa decided right then and there that they were going to be enough for each other.
Oikawa felt numb as he walked home. He replayed his conversation with Iwaizumi over and over again, trying to figure out what had happened. Something had happened, and Oikawa needed to find the meaning behind it—preferably a meaning that didn’t have anything to do with the possibility that Iwaizumi didn’t actually want him. He didn’t want it to mean that meaning.
Oikawa was a popular guy. He had charmed his way through life, garnering attention without even having to try. Everyone adored him, or at the very least begrudgingly admired him. Iwaizumi was the exception to that rule, though.
At first he had had thought that it meant that Iwaizumi didn’t love him. While he had liked the fact that Iwaizumi didn’t give into him the way that other people did, he still wanted something more from his friend. It had scared the hell out of him, so he’d kept quiet about it, terrified that Iwaizumi would leave him if he found out.
He hadn’t expected it to be reciprocated. He had known that Iwaizumi cared for him—aggressively cared for him in an ‘I’m going to kill you if you don’t take care of yourself’ kind of way—though he had always expected it to be in a platonic sense.
When, much later, Iwaizumi had asked Oikawa why he’d thought that he wouldn’t accept his confession, Oikawa had given him a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of his head as he admitted, “I didn’t think … I mean, you never really seemed to think of me that way. Not like other people—” he had broken off his stilted speech, not really sure how to explain how he’d felt to Iwaizumi.
In spite of it, though, Iwaizumi had seemed to understand exactly what he had been trying to say.
“You mean I didn’t fawn over you like your stupid fangirls,” he’d snorted. “Have you ever considered….” he’d broken off, glancing to the side as his face had turned a dusky shade of pink.
“Considered what?” Oikawa asked, genuinely curious.
Iwaizumi had sucked in a breath, and had the situation been any different, Oikawa might have teased him about needing to cool off his overworked brain. He’d waited instead, not wanting to dissuade Iwaizumi from saying whatever it was he had planned to say.
His friend had swallowed hard, but had continued. “Sure, they all adore you,” he’d said, “but I’ve always thought adoration was kinda like blind love. They don’t really see the real you.”
The ‘Not like I do’ had been implicit. He had always refused to be enchanted by Oikawa’s shiny façade, and he was the only one capable of looking behind it and seeing his true personality, which wasn’t nearly as pretty. For all Oikawa’s faults, though, Iwaizumi accepted him. And ever since the day they’d met, he’d known that Iwaizumi was the one for him.
He was beginning to wonder if he was the one for Iwaizumi, though. Whether his friend knew it or not, he could have just about anyone he wanted. Iwaizumi probably hadn’t realized it, but everyone at the school knew that he had a softer side under his gruff exterior. He was polite, attentive, nurturing, and kind—all of the trademark traits of an omega. Even though he didn’t exactly look like an omega and frequently didn’t act like one, that seemed to add to his charm. It gave him an almost exotic aura that drew people to him.
Alphas saw the omega traits, but also saw him as a challenge—namely someone they could compete with in the bedroom. Many omegas were quite fragile, but Iwaizumi…. For anyone who liked it rough, he was a dream come true.
Omegas first noticed his alpha looks, but also took note of his more caring side. While most omegas wanted someone strong who could take care of them and their young, they still wanted someone who would open up to them and be able to empathize with their needs. And while alphas were more than capable of doing that, they typically did it exclusively with their own mates. Iwaizumi visibly balanced masculinity with his nurturing side regardless of who was around, which made him so much more appealing.
Betas considered him the best of both worlds. They tended to stick to their own kind, but part of that was because alphas and omegas were expected to mate with one another. Iwaizumi was a jack of all trades, though. He was an omega who looked like an alpha, which basically made him a beta.
In short, he was perfect. And Oikawa was more than happy to fully monopolize that perfection and make it all his own. Together they were Seijō’s ruling couple, whether Iwaizumi realized it or not. And everyone just had to accept that Iwaizumi was his. After all, no one would dare challenge a king.
Except his belligerent queen/co-captain/best friend/supposed life partner.
Oikawa had never seen that coming. His teammates (read Makki and Mattsun) frequently teased him about how Iwaizumi could do better, and how he was basically Oikawa’s glorified and woefully underpaid babysitter. And though Oikawa had complained about how mean they were to him, he’d never believed a word they said. He’d always seen himself and Iwaizumi as equals who complemented each other perfectly.
He was starting to wonder if there was some truth behind what they had said. Maybe Iwaizumi could do better. Maybe he planned to do better.
When he reached his house, he wandered inside, peeling off his shoes and quickly greeting his parents before going straight to his room. Once inside, he sat down on his bed and buried his face in his hands. What if Iwaizumi had changed his mind? Or what if he’d never wanted him in the first place, but planned to let him down easy just before they went off to college?
Oikawa was no idiot. Even though Iwaizumi had tried to conceal them, he had seen the pamphlets for college. Colleges that weren’t anywhere near the colleges that Oikawa was looking at. At first he had brushed it off. Even though they hadn’t talked about it at length, there had been an unspoken agreement that they would either go to the same college or would go to colleges that were close to each other.
Iwaizumi wasn’t the type to toy with someone’s feelings. Where Oikawa struggled to turn girls down, Iwaizumi gently, but firmly, would give each confession a polite no and would thank them for the offer.
He tried to imagine Iwaizumi turning him down. He’d probably wait until they were about to leave for college before he dropped the bomb. Iwaizumi wasn’t one to lie, but he also didn’t like to see Oikawa in pain. If they were still in school together/living next to each other, then breaking up with Oikawa sooner rather than later wouldn’t make for a clean break.
Oikawa couldn’t live without Iwaizumi. That much he knew. He might be the more prominent one in their relationship, but Iwaizumi was the one who held him together. He’d described Iwaizumi as his pillar more than a few times, and it was an apt description. Without his best friend, he’d fall apart.
He got up from his bed and started to pace back and forth, obsessively checking his phone as he did. There were no calls or texts from Iwaizumi. His friend knew when to give Oikawa his space, but this wasn’t one of those times. Times like this were when Oikawa would think until his brain felt like it was going to explode, but Iwaizumi was usually there to do damage control.
Oikawa knew he wasn’t going to sleep tonight. Typically he had Iwaizumi to calm him down or at least distract him from whatever he was worrying about. He’d stay with Oikawa the entire night if he had to, forcing him to eat, watch movies, play video games, or just talk. It didn’t always solve the problem, but Oikawa always felt better afterwards, and it seemed to lift Iwaizumi’s spirits as well, even though the other boy would grumble and complain about it.
Their moods were strangely and inextricably tied. People who had seen them interact frequently asked if they were mates, because they already acted like a bonded pair. Oikawa had enjoyed seeing their shocked faces when he told them that they hadn’t bonded yet. And he had been excited to see how their connection to each other would evolve once they were bonded.
Now he was picturing Iwaizumi with another alpha. Would he have the same connection with them as he did with Oikawa?
The thought made him want to hit something. Maybe a wall. Or better yet, every alpha who dared look at Iwaizumi. Was this how Iwaizumi felt every time he saw Oikawa talking with other girls? It would explain his perpetually grumpy and angry moods.
A sharp pain in his lip pulled him out of his thoughts. He stopped pacing and brought a hand to his mouth. When he withdrew it, there were streaks of blood on his fingertips.
“Great, just great,” he muttered, his already sour mood growing darker. He all but stomped into his bathroom to survey the damage. Examining his mouth in the mirror, he could clearly see the imprint of his teeth, which had torn through the soft skin.
This was the part where he would normally call Iwaizumi to cry about his lip until Iwaizumi would finally get fed up and storm over to his house. It almost made getting hurt worth it, and had Oikawa been a bit more masochistic, he might have found ways to get hurt more often.
Instead of calling Iwaizumi this time, though, he shoved a wad of toilet paper against his lip and made his way back into his room. He fell into his desk chair so hard that he was almost surprised that he hadn’t broken it. After spinning a couple of times, he forced himself to turn on his computer and Google ‘how to fix a split lip.’
Iwaizumi would know how to fix it. He seemed to intuitively know exactly how to take care of Oikawa and clean up any messes that he’d managed to get himself into. For years Oikawa had hoped that he was secretly an alien with Oikawa-attuned ESP. Iwaizumi was perfect for Oikawa, but that would just be the icing on the cake.
Bored by the articles and disgusted by the bloody images, he gave up on trying to find a way to fix his horribly mauled lip. It wasn’t like Iwaizumi wanted to kiss him anyway, he thought sullenly.
Once Iwaizumi had made up his mind about something, he stuck with it. If he didn’t want Oikawa, then that was that. If he chose to leave Oikawa, he doubted that there was anything he could do about it.
As soon as the thought crossed his mind, Oikawa had an idea. He felt a small, nervous smile start to tug at his lips. Maybe there was something that he could do. He tapped his fingers against the surface of his desk, contemplating. It would be wrong, but … but maybe it would be worth it.
Letting Iwaizumi go would be a mistake, he decided, so he wasn’t going to let that happen. Turning back to his computer, he opened a new search tab. While he wasn’t 100% sure what he was going to do, he had a few ideas.
He wasn’t letting Iwaizumi go that easily.
He wasn’t going to let him go at all.
Thanks for reading! As always, if you notice any errors, please let me know :)
To an outsider, things between Oikawa and Iwaizumi were perfectly normal. If anyone had noticed a shift between them, then no one mentioned it, but Iwaizumi doubted that the imperceptible shift was visible to anyone but him and Oikawa.
They still walked to school together, they still ate lunch together, they still practiced together, and they still walked home together. They still did everything they’d done prior to that disastrous conversation, but there was a tension that hadn’t been there before.
Oikawa didn’t talk about it. In fact, he’d all but flat out refused to talk about it. When Iwaizumi opened his mouth to mention it, Oikawa, as frighteningly perceptive as usual, would find a reason to flit away or would remember that he had to make a phone call or would do anything that got him out of talking about it.
As bad as Iwaizumi had felt about what he’d said (or hadn’t said), Oikawa’s behavior was starting to really piss him off. He’d sampled just about every flavor of Oikawa’s moods and had dealt with them accordingly, but this new mood, or behavior, or whatever the fuck it was Oikawa was doing, was not something he could just stand by and watch. He was a confrontational person, and Oikawa’s passive aggression was going to give him an aneurysm.
After this had been going on for about a week, he decided that it was time to take a more aggressive approach. Oikawa could say whatever the fuck he wanted, as long as he said something and was damned honest about it.
He knew he couldn’t try it at lunch. His shitty friend would just run away and hide behind his fan girls like the coward he was, using them as a wall that he knew that Iwaizumi couldn’t (more like wouldn’t) break through.
Practice was also out of the question. On the off chance he was able to pull Oikawa off to the side, Makki and Mattsun would just run a live commentary to the rest of the team, providing them with dialogue so ridiculous that he’d forget what he was saying before he’d even managed to say three sentences.
Plus he didn’t want the team to suspect that there was something going on between them. God knows how that would go. He was almost positive that it wouldn’t go well. They’d probably lock him and Oikawa in the club room, and Oikawa would end up blasting shitty pop songs on his Bluetooth speaker until the janitor kicked them out.
The way back from school was also a no go, because he was pretty sure that Oikawa would just sprint home and lock himself in his room. And after that, he’d do everything he could to leave without Iwaizumi, and Iwaizumi wasn’t having that.
So that left the walk to school, which was exactly what Iwaizumi finally settled on.
Oikawa had been waiting next to Iwaizumi’s gate for the first time in who knows how many years, and Iwaizumi looked down at his watch and realized that he was running late.
When Oikawa didn’t respond to Iwaizumi, he grabbed the brunet’s arm, not realizing that the other boy had his earphones in—probably prepared to drown Iwaizumi out on their way to school.
His reaction was instant, and Oikawa nearly jumped a foot in the air, shrieking “Oh my god!” as he backhanded Iwaizumi in the face.
As he tried to orient himself, Iwaizumi held a hand against his nose pretty sure that Oikawa had broken it, or had at very least given him a bloody nose.
“Don’t do that,” he gasped.
“Yeah, back at you,” was Iwaizumi’s response. His voice had a nasal pitch as he pinched his nose. He elevated his head, doing his best to prevent the blood from dripping onto his uniform. Yep, definitely a bloody nose.
“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa squeaked when he realized what he’d done. “I’m sorry. Here, let me help.”
With his free hand, he smacked Oikawa’s hands away. “Cut it out. You’re gonna make it worse,” he snapped. It wasn’t without good reason that Oikawa had been banned from any attempts at first aid whenever someone got hurt at practice. the last time he’d tried, he’d nearly made Yahaba lose a finger, creating a bandage so tight that it had practically been a tourniquet. They’d had to cut it off of him.
“I’m sorry,” Oikawa repeated. “I didn’t realize….”
“Yeah, yeah. If you wanna make it up to me, come inside and help me clean the blood up,” he said, awkwardly jerking his head towards the door and almost twisting his already-injured nose in the process.
Oikawa made a face, either disgusted by the idea of dealing with Iwaizumi’s blood or by the idea of having to be around Iwaizumi for longer than necessary, but he followed him inside.
He murmured another half-hearted apology to Iwaizumi as they walked into the bathroom, then proceeded to make himself as unhelpful as possible, immediately grabbing the hand towel away from Iwaizumi as he reached for it. In spite of Iwaizumi’s protests, he walked off to the kitchen, hand towel in hand as he muttered something about Iwaizumi’s ‘poor mother.’
Iwaizumi had stuffed toilet paper into his nostrils and was washing the blood off of his hands when Oikawa walked back in, a wad of paper towels in his hands. Wordlessly, he shoved several of them towards Iwaizumi, who started to dry his hands off. Oikawa began to dampen the other paper towels before dabbing them at Iwaizumi’s face, which was still coated in dried blood.
His efforts were awkward, not to mention semi-painful as he accidentally poked Iwaizumi in the nose several times. “Hold still,” he said blandly as Iwaizumi finally tried to escape his prodding hands.
By that time, Iwaizumi’d had enough. “I think that’s good enough, he said, pulling away and turning to survey his face in the mirror. It wasn’t all that bad. There was definitely going to be some bruising and he’d probably end up with a black eye, but at least his nose wasn’t broken.
“And everyone says that I’m the abusive one in our relationship,” Iwaizumi joked. Oikawa’s only response was to drop his hands and stare sullenly out the window. “Hey, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi said, “cheer up. It’s not that bad.”
“We should head to school,” Oikawa said, not meeting Iwaizumi’s eyes.
Iwaizumi wasn’t about to let him go that easily. Seeing his chance, he grabbed Oikawa’s shoulder, pulling him away from the door before closing the door, locking it, and then leaning against it. “Actually,” he said, crossing his arms and ignoring Oikawa’s look of disapproval, “I was thinking that we could skip today. I mean, we don’t have practice or anything.”
“I don’t really feel like skipping.”
That was the last straw. Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa, pulling him down to his height and holding his head in place so that he couldn’t look away. “You haven’t felt like doing anything lately,” he said, not even trying to hide his irritation. “You gonna tell me what’s up?”
“You know exactly what’s up,” Oikawa seethed, meeting Iwaizumi’s glare with one of his own. “And I don’t see any point in having a discussion about it.” He jerked away from Iwaizumi, shoving the other boy hard.
“What the fuck, Oikawa!” Iwaizumi stumbled a step back as he tried to regain his balance. “What the hell do you mean that there’s nothing to discuss?” He gestured at Oikawa. “I think we should at least talk about your creepy weird emo attitude.”
Though Oikawa seemed angry, he was giving off an odd scent that Iwaizumi recognized, but couldn’t quite place. Iwaizumi frowned, trying to remember the last time that Oikawa had been like this. He was never like this at games, he breezed through school, social interactions were nothing to him, so what had it last happened?
Whatever this was, it was strong. Oikawa usually applied mild blockers over his scent glands because he didn’t like other people knowing how he felt. The only time that he didn’t was prior to games, because it scared the shit out of the other teams. Just by looking at Oikawa, you wouldn't think that he had an absolutely shitty personality. And while Iwaizumi and the rest of their team knew better, most people didn't. His scent always told other teams that he was planning to fucking destroy them one way or another, though.
Oikawa, who had been looking out the window again, seemed to suddenly notice Iwaizumi’s subtle attempts at sniffing the air as he tried to determine what was going on.
“Fine,” he said. “Let’s go outside, though.”
Iwaizumi tried not to roll his eyes as he let Oikawa walk past him. While his friend was smooth around anyone else, he really sucked at it when it came Iwaizumi, something that he frequently complained about.
“If you try to run away, I swear I will hunt you down."
“Fine, fine,” Oikawa said with a wave as he walked toward the door, not turning around to see if Iwaizumi was following. “We’ll have your little talk.”
Great, now he was getting condescending. Iwaizumi increased his pace, grabbing hold of the front door just before it closed behind Oikawa. He sat down on the porch swing next to Oikawa, forcing him to move over, since he’d sat right in the middle of it in an effort to take up the entire thing.
“So rude, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa complained, though his words lacked their usual vigor. Iwaizumi watched him carefully as he noticeably shifted away, scooting as far from Iwaizumi as he could. Iwaizumi just raised a brow.
“It seemed to fit us just fine in the past.” He glanced pointedly at the gap that was now between them. “And there doesn’t seem to be an issue now.”
Oikawa didn’t say a word, but his expression because increasingly more uncomfortable. It made Iwaizumi uneasy. Even though the slight breeze had weakened the scent Oikawa had been giving off, Iwaizumi could still smell it.
“So what’s going on?” he asked, pulling his knees against his chest as Oikawa unconsciously rocked the swing back and forth.
“You’re going to have to be more specific,” was all Oikawa said, and Iwaizumi set his teeth.
Having become increasingly irritated, he grabbed Oikawa’s shirt, pulled him closer, and said, “Enough of this bullshit. We both know that this is about the sex thing, even if you won’t say it or admit it. I dunno why you’re so upset about it or why you won’t talk to me about it, but if we’re gonna be mates, then you’ve gotta talk to me about stuff. I’m fucking sick of this,” he said, jabbing Oikawa with a finger.
Oikawa looked at him coolly, not the least bit surprised or bothered by Iwaizumi’s outburst. It was enough to make Iwaizumi want to knock him off the swing, which he was strongly considering by the time Oikawa spoke.
“Are we?” he asked, staring levelly at the dark-haired boy. Iwaizumi jerked back a little.
“Are we what?” Iwaizumi answered, a sick feeling beginning to settle in his stomach. He really hoped that this didn’t mean what he thought it did. He wanted Oikawa to consider the possibility of finding another mate, but he didn’t want it to actually happen.
He’d known that it would be painful if Oikawa ever broke up with him, but he’d never thought about what it would feel like if he did. Iwaizumi swallowed hard. This … this didn’t feel good. Oikawa hadn’t even said the words, but he still felt a part of him starting to break. He held his breath as he waited for a response, refusing to let his face betray him as he did.
“Are we going to be mates?” Oikawa said the words that he had been dreading. He schooled his expression, even though every other part of him was screaming.
“I don’t know. Do you want us to be?” He returned Oikawa’s gaze as he did his best to detach himself from the situation. He could feel later, but not now. If Oikawa wanted to break up with him, then it needed to happen. Iwaizumi wasn’t going to be the one to tie him down.
Oikawa threw his hands up in the air, clearly exasperated. He stood up, causing the seat to sway even more as he did. He faced Iwaizumi, pointing a finger directly at him.
“What kind of answer is that?” he asked angrily. “Stop answering questions with questions. Do you or do you not want us to be mates?”
“You’re doing the same thing,” Iwaizumi sputtered, referencing Oikawa’s refusal to tell him what the fuck was going on. “And yeah, I guess I do.”
Oikawa’s eyes were blazing by that point. The scent he had given off before was completely overpowered by anger. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but wonder if Oikawa had even applied his blockers today. It wasn’t like him to forget, but it also wasn’t like him to express such strong emotions outside of a game. He was rarely like this.
“You guess,” Oikawa repeated, folding his arms over his chest. “We’ve been promised to each other for years, but now you only ‘guess’ that you want to be with me.” A hurt look crossed his face, but it was quickly replaced by an irritated glare.
“Yeah, sure. I do want to be with you,” Iwaizumi said, stumbling over his words as he tried not to tack on ‘might’ or ‘maybe,’ knowing that Oikawa wouldn’t appreciate a half-assed answer. He quickly stood up, not happy about the fact that Oikawa was towering over him, using his full height to his advantage.
“Oh great, thanks,” Oikawa said sarcastically. “That makes me feel so much better.” He paused for a moment, seeming to contemplate his next words. “Is this why you don’t want to have sex with me?”
His tone was completely neutral, and Iwaizumi couldn’t tell if he was hurt or just being an ass about it. Either way, Iwaizumi couldn’t help but let out a growl of frustration.
“I never said that!” he argued. “I just said that I didn’t want to do it during my heat and I didn’t want you to leave a bond mark.” He dropped his voice. He’d forgotten that they were outside, and now the neighbors were probably enjoying hearing Oikawa and Iwaizumi have a full-blown fight. Over sex, no less. God, he hoped that no one would gossip. Stuff spread fast, and he really, really didn’t want to have his parents ask him about it.
“And why not?” Oikawa asked, narrowing his eyes.
“Because I.…” Iwaizumi faltered. What was there to say? Oikawa didn’t seem to be breaking up with him at the moment, which was a huge relief. But while all his instincts were telling him to do otherwise, he couldn’t tell Oikawa exactly how he felt. Not just yet. He needed to know for sure before he did.
Oikawa let out a bark of laughter. “That’s what I thought.” He turned on heel and began to walk away. Before he could, though, Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa’s wrist, and Oikawa turned his head to look at him.
“Hey,” Iwaizumi said. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just … a lot sooner than expected. I’m fine with sex. Whenever you’re ready, yeah, we can do it. But I’d rather wait a little while before bonding and doing heat … stuff. I mean, if that’s OK with you. It’s just….” He trailed off again, not sure what to add to that.
Oikawa nodded. “OK.” He still didn’t seem completely satisfied with the answer, but he’d at least dropped the attitude. Iwaizumi let out a sigh of relief at that. It wasn’t something that he could have handled much longer.
“Can we go do something now. Watch a movie, play video games, or hell, even go to that weird bakery you like so much.”
“That ‘weird bakery,’” Oikawa sniffed, “is a refined establishment that your dulled senses aren’t able to appreciate.”
Iwaizumi grinned to himself, happy that their relationship seemed to finally be going back to normal.
“They have clown-themed cupcakes,” he deadpanned. “Really fucking creepy clown-themed cupcakes that are the stuff of nightmares.”
“OK, maybe those aren’t so great, but everything else is good!” he insisted. “Every store has something like that,” he said as Iwaizumi snorted and shook his head.
“C’mon,” Iwaizumi said, dragging Oikawa along. “I’ll prove you wrong.”
Oikawa made a happy noise, and Iwaizumi turned his head to hide a smile. Yeah, things were definitely going back to normal.
It wasn’t until Oikawa went home later that evening that Iwaizumi was able to place the scent. The last time that he had noticed it was when Oikawa had first seen Kageyama play. He’d felt threatened. He could understand why Oikawa would react that way back then, but in this case, Iwaizumi had no clue why he’d feel that way. He decided to write it off as a fluke, though the unease stayed with him, prodding at the back of his mind.
Regardless of what he told himself, something was definitely wrong.
Ugh, I meant to post this yesterday, but forgot my shift had been moved around. It's a little short, but I hope it's OK!
Chapter 4: Decisions
Quick update while I finish a chapter for one of my other fics!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Oikawa stared at the package sitting before him. He’d received it nearly a week ago, but he still hadn’t been able to open it. The very idea of it scared the hell out of him, and as soon as it had arrived, he had immediately hidden it in a box under his bed—a box that no one would look in, since it supposedly contained the sex toys Oikawa used for his rut.
While it did contain the toys, he’d really only put them in there to dissuade anyone to snooping. At the very bottom of the box, under a thin layer of cardboard, he hid things like old photos of Iwaizumi and small mementos that either reminded him of Iwaizumi or had been given to him by Iwaizumi. Basically, things that Iwaizumi would immediately confiscate out of embarrassment.
He felt dirty for putting the box in there, like it somehow sullied all of the other things that he’d put in the box. Well, minus the sex toys, but those didn’t count! He thought of them as red herrings, and they had effectively kept everyone from opening the box.
There had been one time, that Iwaizumi had stumbled across it. He’d been looking for an old movie that Oikawa had stored away, and since Oikawa had a habit of just throwing things under his bed, that had been the first place that Iwaizumi had looked.
He’d punched Oikawa, who had been prepared to help Iwaizumi hunt for the movie, as soon as he’d walked into the room, yelling at him for ‘not labelling his shit.’ After that, Oikawa had, in block letters, written the words ‘Sex Toys’ on the box. No one had ever gone near it again.
What had been sort of cute back then now felt incredibly deceptive. He didn’t like hiding things from Iwaizumi. It felt all wrong and he hated it. Just the same, it wasn’t like he could tell Iwaizumi about it. He didn’t even want to think about how that would go. One thing was for sure, though, if Iwaizumi hadn’t been planning to break up with him, he most certainly would if he saw the contents of the package.
He heard the front door shut, and then a few moments later Oikawa’s mom yelled, “Tooru, Hajime is here!”
“Shit!” Oikawa squeaked, grabbing the small package and shoving it into the ‘Sex Toys’ box. Just as he’d closed the box, Iwaizumi all but ripped the door to his room open.
“Oi, Shittykawa!” he started to say, but then faltered when he saw what Oikawa was holding. Without a word, he turned and walked out of the room. Shoving the box under his bed, Oikawa ran after him.
“Iwa-chaaaaaan, come back!” he yelled, jumping onto his boyfriend’s back before he reached the stairs.
“Oof.” Iwaizumi stumbled a few steps before falling against a wall. He narrowly avoided being hit by a picture frame that was knocked from its place.
“Get off me, Trashykawa,” he gritted out as he tried to shake Oikawa off. “You’re gonna fuck up my back or something.”
“Iwa-chan is such an old man,” Oikawa teased, jumping off of Iwaizumi.
“No, you’re just too fucking heavy,” Iwaizumi shot back. “Could you warn me next time you’re doing … whatever you were doing back there? Send me a warning—or better yet, put a tie on the doorknob or something.”
“Actually, I was just finishing up,” Oikawa said with a bright smile. “But if you’d like to join in next time, I’d be more than happy to let you know ahead of time.”
That earned him another punch from Iwaizumi, who then bent down to pick up the picture, which, miraculously, hadn’t shattered. Oikawa whistled appreciatively as he did. Getting punched had been well worth the view that he had now. While Iwaizumi would deny it, he had a really nice ass.
This time Iwaizumi just shot him a glare as he put the frame back in place. “Why do I feel like you’re constantly objectifying me?” he muttered darkly. Oikawa just grinned. As much as Iwaizumi complained, he knew the other boy didn’t really mind. While Iwaizumi was gorgeous, he’d never been able to either recognize or accept it. He was completely oblivious to the fact that Oikawa was constantly having to fight off his boyfriend’s admirers.
Oikawa didn’t understand Iwaizumi’s sentiments about his own looks, and it pained him to see him put himself down. Only on occasion did Iwaizumi’s lack of self-confidence filter through his tough exterior, but broke Oikawa’s heart when it did. So between playful insults, he made sure to compliment his friend.
“It’s not my fault, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa chirped. “You’re just so objectifiable.” He grinned cheekily and cocked his head to the side. “If that picture just happened to fall down again, would you mind picking it up?” he said, looking pointedly at Iwaizumi ass. “I’m not sure my knee could handle the strain.”
“Like hell I would,” Iwaizumi snapped. “And if it did fall again, I would make sure that it fell on your face.”
Oikawa let out a squeal and scurried away from the wall as Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. In spite of his bravado, they both knew Iwaizumi would pick it up again. He pitied Oikawa’s mother too much to leave it lying there. Even so, he’d still find a way to make Oikawa pay for it.
Oikawa wondered absently if they could find a way to channel that aggression in the bedroom instead. Even though he was an alpha, he wouldn’t mind being roughed up a little. And he loved the idea of a challenge. He wanted to see what Iwaizumi looked like when he submitted after a fight.
Probably incredibly pissed off, but still.
“Stop thinking perverted thoughts,” Iwaizumi said, swatting at the back of his head. Before Oikawa could protest he added, “Are you ready to head to the movie? We’re already running late.”
“Movie?” Oikawa repeated slowly. He racked his brain, trying to remember what Iwaizumi was referring to. He vaguely remembered making plans to hang out today, but he’d forgotten what they had agreed to do.
“That stupid Sci-Fi you’ve been going on about,” Iwaizumi supplied helpfully. He then let out a groan and hid his eyes. “If I’d known you were going to forget about it, then I wouldn’t have brought it up at all. I’ve heard that movie is pure shit.”
Oikawa let out a gasp. “You take that back. That movie is an epic balance of space exploration, forbidden love, and extraterrestrials like we’ve never seen them before,” he said, quoting, as best he could, the movie’s self-written review. “It’s sure to be the best movie of the year.”
“And yet you somehow managed to forget that we were going to see it,” Iwaizumi deadpanned. “Doesn’t sound too memorable to me.”
Oikawa let out an offended noise. “I didn’t forget! I was just testing you to see if you remembered.”
“Right,” Iwaizumi snorted. He grabbed Oikawa’s hand and tugged him along. “C’mon, if we’re gonna go, we should head out now.” He paused. “Unless you’d like to do something else. Anything else.”
“Absolutely not,” Oikawa said, taking the lead. “Now hurry up, Iwa-chan. You’re making us late.” He squeezed Iwaizumi’s hand, happy that his friend had initiated the contact.
Iwaizumi grumbled something unintelligible, but squeezed back and allowed himself to be pulled along.
Ever since their fight, things between him and Iwaizumi had gone back to normal. Iwaizumi seemed to instinctively know that something was still bothering Oikawa, but he didn’t press the issue, for which Oikawa was grateful.
After their initial conversation about bonding, Oikawa had found himself at a loss. He’d decided on a course of action, but had gone back and forth ever since then. Should he or shouldn’t he? The question plagued him, and as he’d tried to work through it, he began distancing himself from Iwaizumi.
At first it had been by accident. He’d needed to think through things, and being around Iwaizumi had made that increasingly difficult. He couldn’t clear his head when Iwaizumi was there, constantly reminding him of what was at stake.
The more he’d pushed Iwaizumi away, though, the more conscious the action had become. What would his life be like without Iwaizumi? he had wondered. Naturally he couldn’t completely shove Iwaizumi out of his life, and he was almost certain he wouldn’t even last a day if he had been able to.
So the next best, not to mention most feasible, option was to detach his thoughts and feelings from Iwaizumi as much as possible. It had hurt. Every single moment of it had hurt—especially when he could see what it was doing to Iwaizumi. His friend couldn’t stand seeing Oikawa suffer. It was probably an unhealthy, not to mention codependent, cycle, but it hadn’t caused them any trouble up until then.
Even if Iwaizumi hadn’t brought it to a head, Oikawa knew that he wouldn’t have been able to keep up the façade for much longer. It had cemented his decision, and he now knew what he was going to do. He just … had to summon the courage to actually follow through with it.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Iwaizumi commented, bumping against his shoulder as they walked. “What’s up?”
“Hm?” Oikawa was drawn out of his thoughts. “Oh, I’m just excited,” he said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. It wasn’t a lie. He was looking forward to it, and had been for several weeks. He had a few other things on his mind, though. Things that had been hijacking his thoughts on a regular basis.
“How are we even friends?” Iwaizumi said, shaking his head. “I should have dumped your ass back in kindergarten. There are so many things I’d rather be doing right now. Literally anything but this.”
Even though he knew Iwaizumi wasn’t being serious, Oikawa didn’t miss the fact that he said ‘friends’ rather than ‘dating.’ Suddenly Iwaizumi’s hand felt very heavy.
“You don’t appreciate me for the amazing person that I am,” Oikawa sniffed, concealing his disappointment. “I should find someone whose taste doesn’t scream ‘I’m 50 years old and play bridge and bingo in my free time.’” Iwaizumi stiffened next to him and suddenly withdrew his hand.
“I’ve never played bingo,” he said with a scowl. “And I don’t even know what the hell bridge even is.”
They argued back and forth after that, but Oikawa felt hollow—not quite able to enjoy it as he had before. He couldn’t help but notice that Iwaizumi had crossed his arms, making his hands completely unavailable.
He wanted to say something. He really did. But every scenario running through his head ended with Iwaizumi confessing that he didn’t reciprocate Oikawa’s feelings, and then trying to let him down easily.
Out of fear, he didn’t say anything about it. Instead, he reassured himself that things would change soon. As awful as he felt about it, he would follow through.
“So I was thinking,” Iwaizumi started, their previous conversation having settled into a lull.
Oikawa let out a gasp before Iwaizumi could say anything more. “Thinking, Iwa-chan? When did that happen?” He patted his pockets, then pulled out his phone. “Quick! Let me take a picture! I have to document this for my scrapbook. Little Iwa-chan is finally starting to develop.” He wiped away an imaginary tear, then grinned at Iwaizumi, who looked unimpressed.
“You were saying?” Oikawa said when Iwaizumi made no attempt to elaborate.
“Nope,” Iwaizumi said. “I changed my mind.”
“Awwww, please? Iwa-chan, please tell me? I’ll pretend to be impressed,” Oikawa said, ducking as Iwaizumi lightly swatted at him.
Before Oikawa could ask again, Iwaizumi took a deep breath. “I was going to see if you wanted to stay over this weekend,” He muttered. After a beat he added, “My parents will be out of town.” His skin took on a pinkish tint, and Oikawa’s eyes widened as he realized the implications behind Iwaizumi’s words.
“Um, sure. OK. That sounds good.” Oikawa stumbled over himself. “This weekend is fine.”
“Sounds good.” They couldn’t bring themselves to look at each other. Oikawa knew it should be a big deal, but they had known each other since childhood. While they had kissed, seen each other naked, and had given each other hand jobs, it had never gone any further than that. Well, maybe it had in some of Oikawa’s wet dreams, but never in reality.
“Do you, uh, want me to bring anything?” His parents had already forced a box of condoms on him, giving him a very strict glare when they had. He could bring those, but if Iwaizumi already had a certain kind or type that he like better, then he wasn’t about to ruin that. His skin flushed at the thought.
“Just whatever you think is necessary,” Iwaizumi replied. Oikawa nodded.
He was relieved that they had just arrived at the theater. Iwaizumi seemed to have planned it that way, knowing that things were bound to get awkward. He was sure that he heard Iwaizumi let out a small sigh of relief, confirming his suspicions.
Oikawa couldn’t stop thinking about it as they purchased their tickets and settled into their seats. This was a huge step, and even though he had been the one to bring it up, the realization that it was actually going to happen made him extremely nervous. He reminded himself that he wanted this. Even more so than when he had first brought it up to Iwaizumi.
As much as Oikawa hated it, he had a feeling that their relationship would depend on it.
Thanks for reading :)
Iwaizumi’s palms grew sweaty as he looked around his room. It was Thursday after practice, which meant that it was the day before Friday, which meant that Oikawa would be coming over in about 24 hours.
Normally he wouldn’t give a shit about that. At most, he might go out and buy popcorn or milk bread or a movie that Oikawa had been raving about or—well, OK, maybe he usually gave a shit, but he’d never actually gotten worried or anxious about having Oikawa over. He’d never had a reason to.
Oikawa was Oikawa. He was the stupid kid Iwaizumi had known for as long as he could remember. Up until recently, he’d never really been nervous around him. He’d never had a reason to be. They had their patterns and their habits, ones that they didn’t usually change unless Oikawa had some sort of weird-ass inspiration that made him want to do something different or differently.
Like sex, for example. Iwaizumi had been perfectly OK with their non-sexual relationship that might, at some point in the very distant and abstract future, become sexual. He should have expected it, though, and he was kicking himself for that. Oikawa was spontaneous, while Iwaizumi stuck to his habits. He adapted well, sure—he had to in order to be Oikawa’s best friend and boyfriend—but he liked to have time to think about any changes that might be coming his way.
Sex was a huge change, and Iwaizumi had no fucking idea how he was supposed to deal with that kind of change. Hell, he wasn’t even sure how to deal with whatever would come after it. Y’know, like Oikawa getting him even more emotionally attached before potentially telling Iwaizumi goodbye.
He shoved those thoughts out of his head as he focused on the issue at hand, which was figuring out what the hell he was supposed to do to prepare for sex. Should he buy flowers or candles or some equally cheesy shit that Oikawa was bound to love. Or laugh at him for.
He glanced around the room. He should probably clean, at very least. His room wasn’t half as bad as Oikawa’s, who, contrary to popular belief, was one of the messiest people Iwaizumi knew. While Iwaizumi had clothes, magazines, and a few books scattered around, Oikawa’s room was a walking disaster zone. He’d started wearing shoes in Oikawa’s room after nearly busting his big toe open on a large rock that Oikawa had decided to leave in the middle of his floor.
Seriously, who the hell put a rock in their room, much less covered it in papers and clothes so that NO ONE COULD SEE IT. He’d nearly cracked Oikawa’s head open with the damn thing. He didn’t even want to know what the idiot had been planning to do with it.
He sighed, picking up his laundry and throwing it into his hamper, not bothering to sort through what was clean and what was dirty. He’d wash it himself or apologize to his mother later or something. Right now that was the least of his worries, though.
He knew Oikawa probably wouldn’t care if Iwaizumi didn’t do anything, and he definitely wouldn’t expect him to. Still, he felt like he should do something. It would be their first time after all, and while Oikawa was the one into over-the-top romantic gestures, as the omega in their relationship, he felt a sense of obligation—one that he wished he could fulfill. Omegas were supposed to be the sentimental ones, but Iwaizumi had known for years that he pretty much sucked at being an omega.
He went through a list of stereotypical romantic gestures that he’d seen in movies and commercials. Giving Oikawa roses felt really fucking weird. Oikawa would probably never let him live it down, anyway, so he crossed that off the list. Candles were a possibility, but that was also more of Oikawa’s thing. Oikawa had told him several times that he sucked at picking out candles. He might have been slightly offended, but his parents had confirmed it. He knew something was bad when his parents verified it.
Chocolate was also a possibility, but Iwaizumi knew for a fact that Oikawa had at least five pounds of it in his freezer—most of which had been given to him by girls at school. After all the years Oikawa had spent bragging and showing off all the sweets he got, Iwaizumi had sworn to himself that he would never ever buy Oikawa candy.
The one exception to this was milk bread. He guessed he could just dump a few packs of milk bread on the bed, but that didn’t exactly seem romantic and it wasn’t something that he didn’t do on a regular basis, anyway. He crossed that off the list, too.
He couldn’t think of anything else after that. Oikawa would know exactly what to do, but he wasn’t Oikawa and there was no way in hell he could ask his boyfriend. The idiot would probably tell him not to buy anything, but would then give him a mile-long shopping list of things to buy. Half of the it would probably be super embarrassing stuff that he’d added just to piss Iwaizumi off.
With that in mind, he decided to sacrifice his pride—just this once—and ask someone for help. Picking up his phone, he dialed one of the few people his age who he knew, and also really hadn’t wanted to know, had already had sex.
After dialing the number, he pressed his phone against his ear. A feeling of dread settled in his bones as he did, and he considered hanging up as he heard the phone ring. Before he could actually do it, though, a voice answered.
“Iwaizumi Hajime,” Hanamaki said grandly. “It’s been too long. To whom do we owe the pleasure?”
“You know, you really ought to call us more often. Hiro and I feel so neglected,” Matsukawa said, letting out a fake sob.
“You pieces of shit, we saw each other 30 minutes ago,” Iwaizumi groaned. He had forgotten that Thursday nights were Makki and Mattsun’s date night. God, he was already regretting this so much.
“Ah, but that was so long ago,” Makki said sadly. “Mere minutes are precious when you’re as old as us.”
“Well, I wouldn’t complain, but I doubt Oikawa would be very happy about it,” Makki said. Iwaizumi could practically hear him grinning.
“Uh, right. Well, speaking of that,” Iwaizumi said slowly, trying to think of a good way to ease into the subject, “I need to ask you guys something.”
There was a pause, the Matsukawa said, “Oh my god.”
“Oh my god,” Hanamaki echoed.
Then together they started shrieking “Oh my god!”
“That’s it, I’m hanging up,” Iwaizumi said, grinding his teeth as he did.
“Wait! Hold on just a second!” Makki said quickly. “Issei and I would never be able to forgive ourselves if we let our little Iwa-chan have sex with the demon with Oikawa without providing proper guidance. As your sex senpais, it’s our duty to prepare you for this.”
“Actually, I think that’s Oikawa’s job,” Mattsun snickered at the same time that Iwaizumi said, “Please don’t ever call yourselves that again.”
Iwaizumi let out yet another groan at Mattsun’s comment.
“Yes! That’s perfect. Do that,” Mattsun said. “I mean, it could definitely use a little work, but it’s close to sounding sort of pornographic. Amatuer pornographic, at least. But trust me, Oikawa won’t be able to tell the difference. I bet he has shitty taste in porn.”
“What kind of porn does Oikawa watch?” Makki wondered out loud. “I mean, you could always just copy whatever he watches.”
“Oh my god, if you record it, you could call it ‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind.’” Oikawa would love that.”
“You guys are useless,” Iwaizumi said flatly.
“That’s so rude, Hajime. Mattsun and I are just trying to help.”
“And we are more than happy to,” Mattsun added. “Hiro and I are pretty much walking encyclopedias when it comes to sex. What do you want to know?”
Iwaizumi knew right then and there that he should just end the call. Actually, he should have ended it before anyone had picked up. He really did need advice, though….
“So did you guys do anything, uh, special for your first time?” Iwaizumi asked, really hoping that he would get something—anything—out of this conversation.
“Well, we did find this really cool website that had a bunch of different tutorials and—”
“No. Fuck no.”
“I don’t want specifics!” Iwaizumi interrupted again. “Just basic stuff. Basic non-sexual nice stuff that you might have used to, y’know, set the mood and shit.”
The two were silent, which Iwaizumi knew was a bad thing. He should probably hang up now. Whatever they were planning to say, it would be unhelpful at the very least. At worst, he’d be scarred for life.
“I bought a couple dozen roses,” Hanamaki began, “and then covered the bed in a thick layer of petals. After that, I strew the remainder in swirly patterns all over the floor in an effort to mesmerize Issei with my ability to create semi-complex geometric patterns.”
“And I spent hours upon hours folding tiny little origami stars that we hung from the ceiling and pasted all over our bodies.”
“Ooh, and then I wove crowns out of lush grass and perfect cherry blossoms,” Makki said, probably in an effort to one up Matsukawa.
“For the mating ritual.”
“Exactly. It was very specific.”
“We had to set up an altar and draw ancient runes across the walls.”
“We were going to sacrifice a virgin prior to—”
“—but Oikawa started screaming, which ruined the mood—”
“—and scared the neighbors—”
“—so we had to kick him out.”
“After that we ended up sacrificing our virginities—”
“—to each other. Right there on the altar.”
“For all the gods to see!”
“It was perfect,” Matsukawa sighed. “The heavens opened up a shone down on our shimmering—”
“—not to mention very naked—”
“—bodies,” Matsukawa finished.
“So romantic,” Hanamaki agreed. “We even hired a photographer to commemorate the entire experience.”
“We organized it all into a scrapbook. You can borrow it for inspiration, if you’d like.”
After a moment of stunned silence Iwaizumi said, “I hate you both so much.”
“Let’s face it Iwaizumi, not everyone can have as perfect of a first time as we did. Don’t feel bad if yours and Oikawa’s is subpar by comparison.”
“Or just subpar in general.”
“I bet Oikawa’s going to cry.”
“That would be hilarious. You better hope it happens after you’ve had sex. Let’s face it, Oikawa’s crying face would make anyone go soft.”
“Awkwaaaaaarrrrdddddd,” Makki sang. “Take pictures, though. We’ll make a scrapbook for you.”
“One picture of Oikawa’s face would sum up the whole experience perfectly.”
“I have officially gotten nothing out of this conversation.” Asking the two for romantic advice was like asking a two-year-old how to fly a helicopter. Or something equally ridiculous.
“Look, just do something simple,” Hanamaki said, sensing that Iwaizumi was at his wit’s end. “If Oikawa wanted you to do something, then he would have dropped about a thousand hints about it.”
It was true. When Oikawa wanted something, he talked non-stop about it. And then, of course, when Iwaizumi finally caved and bought or did it for him, Oikawa would tear up and pretend like Iwaizumi had magically read his mind.
“Soooo, what exactly counts as simple?” Iwaizumi asked. He was back at square one again, and he really hoped he wasn’t about to get a repeat of Makki and Mattsun’s original bullshit story.
“Well, according to Oikawa, you.”
“I mean what should I buy, you asshole.”
Mattsun hummed. “Wear something sexy. He’d probably like that the most.”
“Ummm right. Sexy … right.”
“Jeez, Iwaizumi. We can’t just spell everything out for you,” Matsukawa said. “I mean, unless you pay us for it, in which case we would be more than happy to spell it out, write it out, sing it out—however you want it.”
“If you really do need help, though, Issei has a maid outfit I bet he’d loan you. Y’know, since it’s—”
Whatever he’d been planning to say next was cut off. Iwaizumi could hear a muffled noise and then what sounded like a struggle as they probably wrestled for the phone.
“Anyway,” Matsukawa said, a little breathless, “like we said, just stick to simple. You know what Oikawa likes better than anyone else.”
“And don’t forget to use condoms,” Makki added. “The last thing the world needs right now is another Tooru running around. Give us a few years to prepare for that.”
“And just so you know, we are totally going to buy you guys balloons and confetti and shit on Monday, so you’d better follow through with this over the weekend,” Mattsun said. “It’d be so embarrassing if we celebrated for nothing.” Makki made a small noise of affirmation.
“I’m hanging up now,” Iwaizumi said, pressing the end button as he did. He tossed his phone onto his bed, and then sank down onto the floor. Sexy. That was the last word he would use to describe himself. Well, second to last. Cute would probably be the last. Oikawa was constantly telling him that he was cute, which was one of the more ridiculous things he’d said throughout their lives.
He tried to think of what would count as sexy. As much as he wanted to make Oikawa happy, there was no way that he was going to wear a maid outfit. He didn’t even want to think about the repercussions of that. He tried to think of some of the things that Oikawa would like, but the only things that he could come up with offhand were volleyball, milk bread, and aliens. He wasn’t going to dress up as any of those, either.
He knew some male omegas wore lingerie. He … guessed he could do that. He didn’t exactly have much time to get some, though. If he ordered it offline (which would definitely be the most ideal way of getting it), it probably wouldn’t arrive for at least a couple of days.
That meant his only other option was to go to an actual store and purchase the stuff, which was pretty high on the list of ‘things that would humiliate Iwaizumi Hajime.’ Right now it was his best lead, though. He wanted tomorrow to be special, and if that was what it would take, then he would make that sacrifice.
He glanced at the clock. He had about two hours to get to the mall and find something. Looking down at himself, he wrinkled his nose a little. His clothes stuck to him and he knew he smelled like sweat. Even so, he didn’t exactly have time to shower if he wanted to get to the store on time and actually find something.
Letting out a growl of frustration, he shucked off his clothes, pulled on a clean pair of clothes, then applied an inordinate amount of deodorant. As an afterthought, he applied some of the cologne that Oikawa had left at his place.
Walking down to his car, he knew that he smelled better, but he also smelled like an alpha. He smelled like an alpha, looked like an alpha, and now he was going to try on underwear created especially for omegas. He couldn’t help but feel like the universe had fucked him over just a little.
It was Thursday evening, but the store was packed. He bit back a groan as he surveyed the store while standing outside of the storefront. To add insult to injury, he saw one or two of his classmates, petite omega girls, wandering around inside while excitedly comparing underwear.
Squaring his shoulders, he forced himself to walk inside. This is for Oikawa , he reminded himself. This was for their first time, which, for whatever reason, was supposed to be special.
Why the first time? he wondered grumpily. Why not the second or third or tenth time? Isn’t the first time supposed to suck or something?
He could argue that to Oikawa, but he knew his boyfriend would pretend to be disappointed as he called Iwaizumi a romantic failure. And even though Iwaizumi knew he would be joking, it would still sting. He wanted to do better for Oikawa. He really did. He wanted to be the omega that Oikawa could be proud of. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in one of the store mirrors and grimaced. He wanted to be the kind of omega that he would never, ever be.
That hurt more than anything.
“Excuse me, Sir?”
Iwaizumi turned quickly to see a smiling omega girl standing behind him.
“Uh, yeah?” he said nervously, hoping that he wasn’t about to be kicked out just because he looked like an alpha. Alphas were allowed to be in here, too, right? He could have sworn he’d seen a couple before he’d gone in.
“Is there anything in particular that you’re looking for?” she asked. “I’d be more than happy to help you find the perfect gift for your omega.”
“Oh, um.” Iwaizumi rubbed the back of his neck. Gods, this was so embarrassing. He was torn between fleeing or grabbing the first thing he saw and just going with it. Maybe he should just pretend to be an alpha buying something for an omega who was, y’know, the exact same size as him.
“Is everything alright?” she asked, her eyes going wide. “I didn’t say something wrong, did I?” She looked like she was on the verge of an emotional breakdown as tears began to fill her eyes.
“No!” Iwaizumi exclaimed quickly. “No, god no.” She looked up, her eyes hopeful, and Iwaizumi did his best to bite back his shame. “It just, um, well, I’m an omega,” he said quickly—so quickly that he almost hoped she wouldn’t be able to understand him.
“Ohhh,” she said, her eyes growing even wider. Iwaizumi felt his cheeks turn pink. This is just getting better and better , he thought to himself, wondering what she would do next.
“Yeah,” he said, unable to think of anything else to do.
“Oh,” she said again. “Sorry about that. I just assumed—” she cut herself off. “Sorry, I try not to stereotype.” She looked down bashfully. “Everyone thinks my alpha is an omega,” she said, “so I know how it goes.” She grabbed his hand. “Come on! Let’s find you something.” She gave him a sunny smile that Iwaizumi couldn’t help but return.
Ignoring any stares that he might have gotten, Iwaizumi followed the small blonde girl around. She quickly measured him off in a corner, politely trying to spare him any embarrassment, then led him around the store, pointing out different styles she thought might suit him.
“You’ve got really pretty eyes,” she stuttered, “and I think something green, purple, or silver would go well with them.”
“Um, I have no idea what I’m doing,” Iwaizumi admitted. “Do you think you could pick out a couple that would look OK? I just … I have no idea.”
Her face lit up. “Of course!” She grabbed a few different styles and colors before ushering him into a dressing room. “If you want my opinion, just let me know,” she said, though her voice wavered a little.
Based on the very short interaction Iwaizumi’d had with her, he figured that she was really shy. He was honestly surprised that she was working in a store like this given her jumpy personality, but he couldn’t say he wasn’t grateful.
Shrugging out of his clothes, he tried on a couple of outfits. Yachi, he found, was really good at this. In spite of his bulky figure, the outfits didn’t look half bad.
“Could I get your opinion on a couple of these?” he asked nervously.
“Of course,” she chirped. When he cracked the door open, she slipped inside, sparing him the embarrassment that he would definitely feel if anyone else saw him.
As she turned to face him, her eyes grew wide again. Iwaizumi fought every instinct to cover himself with his arms. This wasn’t his thing. This obviously wasn’t his thing. He wanted to hit himself for even coming here. He was definitely going to hit Makkia and Mattsun for even suggesting it. No doubt they were laughing about it now.
“Well?” he asked, swallowing hard.
“You look,” she said slowly. “You look amazing,” she finally breathed.
“Wait, what?” Iwaizumi said, confused.
“Ummmmm, you have a really nice body,” she stuttered, looking away. “The silver really does bring out your eyes, and, uh, the material accents everything else.”
Iwaizumi felt his own face heat up. “You really think it looks OK?” he asked shyly. He hoped she wasn’t saying it out of pity, but she seemed like a genuine person, which made him feel a little better about it.
“Yes. Um, definitely yes.” She pointed at the other outfits. “Did you like any of those, too?”
“I liked the black one, too,” he admitted, and she beamed. “I knew you’d look good in that one,” she said excitedly.
Iwaizumi gave her a crooked smile. “I think I’ll get that one, too.”
She looked up at him and smiled again. “Perfect!” As soon as she said it, she seemed to realize that she was looking at him again. “Right. Um, did you want me to look at anything else? I mean, after I leave and you change into something else!”
He laughed slightly. “No, I think I’m good.”
“Ok. Sounds good. Yeah, well, I’m gonna step out.” She practically tripped over herself as she exited the small room.
Iwaizumi quickly changed back into his normal clothes, then shoved the outfits he had picked out into a small basket that Yachi had given him. Walking around the store had been bad enough, but he didn’t want to carry around his finds, as well. There was no way in hell he wanted to deal with anymore gossip than he was bound to have already generated.
He handed the small girl the outfits he’d decided against, then thanked her several times.
“Seriously, I really appreciate it,” he said, and her already flushed cheeks turned a deeper shade of pink.
“Don’t mention it,” she said quickly, and then smiled. “Your alpha’s really lucky. I’m sure he’s gonna like these,” she added. Before he could say anything else, she touched a hand to her headset. “I’ve gotta go,” she said looking over at another salesgirl who seemed overwhelmed by the crowd. “But if you need anything else, come find me, yeah?”
Iwaizumi smiled. “Yeah, will do. Thanks, Yachi.”
She gave him a small wave before disappearing into the crowd of people.
Iwaizumi, blessedly, wasn’t approached by anyone he knew, and he prayed that no one he knew had actually seen or recognized him. After checking out, he pretty much bolted out of the mall, letting out a long sigh of relief when he finally reached the safety of his car.
As he drove, he glanced at the small bag sitting on the passenger seat beside him. He hoped that the whole ordeal had been worth it. He knew one thing for sure, though. If Oikawa laughed at him, he was going to break his best friend’s face.
Oh gods, I think I'm supposed to write a sex scene at some point. It'll probably end up being the most awkward sex scene ever. I'm super tempted to just pretend that chapter doesn't exist and then move on to the next chapter. But yeah, there may be a sex scene in the next chapter. I make no promises, though.