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no one but you (got me feeling this way)

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Winn and James arrive on Friday night with beer (for the three of them) and red wine (for Lena), and a box of Kara’s favourite bagels from a corner store in Metropolis.

“Nice digs,” Winn says, whistling appreciatively as Kara leads them through the door.

“Yeah,” James agrees, “I mean, we heard from Alex that it’s sort of really classy, but wow, this is better than the room I rent for like, half my monthly salary.”

“I can’t believe NCU has apartments like this while I’m suffering through a dorm littered with beer bottles, cigarette butts, and condom packets.”

Kara scrunches her nose. “Ugh, Winn, no.”

He shrugs. “I’m just saying that you should be really glad that your apartment doesn’t suck and your roommate doesn’t reek of sin and bad decisions.”

“I should hope not,” comes Lena’s voice, sounding far too amused, and the three of them turn to look as she walks into the living room. “I like to think that I have better taste than that.” She’s looking at Kara when she says that, and Kara can’t help but feel like she’s missing something, but, as is often the case where Lena’s concerned, Kara can’t really think clearly about things she might or might not be missing because she is yet again rendered distracted.

Lena’s hair falls down her shoulders in graceful waves, and she’s wearing comfy green yoga pants that has made Kara repeatedly mess up when she’s helping out in the kitchen with simple tasks (like chopping things and stuff because that’s about the only thing Kara can capably do when it comes to the culinary arts). Her Doctor Who shirt hangs loosely on her frame, and she’s smiling Kara’s favourite smile, and she’s the prettiest girl Kara has ever seen.

“Hello,” Lena greets the boys, extending her hand, “I’m Lena Luthor.”

Winn shakes it first, grinning. “Winslow Schott Jr.”

“James Olsen,” says James, reaching for Lena’s hand in turn. “Nice to meet you, Miss Luthor.”

“Please, it’s Lena, Mr. Olsen.”

“Then call me James.”

“Winn,” says Winn.

“Kara,” says Kara, and they all turn to stare at her. She shrugs. “What, I thought we’re saying names?”

Lena laughs. “Dork,” she says, rolling her eyes fondly, and Kara smiles at her goofily. “Well, come on, then, lasagna’s ready.”

Winn’s grin widens, and he’s vibrating with excited energy. “You cook lasagna?”

Lena laughs again, and Kara can drink that sound forever. “I cook a lot of things.”

“Nice! And oh my god that smells delicious,” Winn says on their way to the dining room. “And whoa, Kara, when you said there’s gonna be food I didn’t think you meant, like, for an army .”

His wonder is well-founded, Kara thinks, for even by her standards, there is a lot of food prepared. There’s the lasagna that yeah, smells heavenly—Lena still won’t tell her what secret spices she uses for the sauce thing, not that Kara would have made anything like it herself, but stilland Kara has ordered three boxes of pizza earlier, and there’s ice cream plus the bagels from James. There’s also mushroom soup and salad with ranch dressing, and yep, okay, maybe the food is too much, but Kara merely smiles.

“I’ll send a photo of all our food to Alex so she’ll feel awful for what’s she’s missing out on,” she says cheerfully. “It’s payback for when she just told you guys that I’m engaged without even, like, debriefing me or something.”

“That’s fair,” says James. “I’m in, but like, maybe don’t tell her I said that.”

“Yeah, Alex is scary.” Winn shudders. “I remember being terrified out of my mind when she caught me snooping around on the bureau’s internal server.” They look at him with expressions ranging from exasperated (James) to alarmed (Kara) to mildly intrigued (Lena). “What?” he says, defensively. “If the FBI wants to keep federal secrets secret, they should build better security systems.”

“I imagine that reasoning did not go so well with Agent Danvers?” Lena asks, with an amused smirk.

Winn sighs, deflating. “She threatened to disembowel me with a single finger, and the scariest part about that is I know she can totally do it.”

“She does give that impression.” She looks at Winn and James and gestures for them to sit down, which they do with a thankful nod.

“Alex is equal parts bark and bite, plus she’s smart, so really scary combination.” James exhales as he really takes in the feast before them. “Everything looks incredible. No wonder Kara hasn’t invited us before,” he remarks with a teasing smile, “she’s keeping you and your food to herself.”

“Hey!” Kara quickly protests, pocketing her phone after she’s done with the photos, “That’s not true.” She glares when Lena chuckles at her before hiding it behind a cough. “It’s not.

“Whatever you say, darling,” Lena appeases, but she’s still struggling with her laughter.

Kara scowls as she slides on the chair beside Lena’s, crossing her arms. “You’re mean.”

“And yet you’re marrying me,” says Lena, winking at the boys, whom she knows are aware of Kara’s . . . situation. They are watching them with amused grins.

“I’m reconsidering our engagement, Lena, this is no way to treat your fiancée.”

“Now, now, let’s not be hasty. Also”—Lena raises an eyebrow in mock challenge, though it still makes Kara swallow hard—“did you really just threaten to call off our engagement?”  

“I said what I said.” Kara tilts her head, projecting courage she doesn’t really feel.   

“Hmm.” Lena stares at her then with a dangerous glint in her eyes, and she leans forward before Kara can even think to move—away? closer? Kara can’t be sure, but then Lena’s face is right in front of hers, and Kara gets sidetracked again by Lena’s prettiness—like, seriously, her eyes are even more breathtaking up close, where Kara can see the individual flecks of blue and green and grey and the warmth is so near, it’s like her eyes are burning, and oh crap her lips are moving, Kara’s supposed to hear words, Rao, what’s Lena saying?

“—positive that our engagement stays secure.”

Kara blinks as she registers just the tail end of Lena’s statement, but she doesn’t comprehend the words at all, and she just watches as Lena’s lips curl in that sexy-smirk thing she always does.

Lena reaches a finger out to trace Kara’s jawline, and her touch is so soft and nice and perfect, but Kara doesn’t get a chance to really savour the sensation because Lena pulls away after a moment, turning to the food. “I rest my case,” she declares smugly, looking at Kara from the corner of her eyes.

“Wha—” Kara’s mouth drops open as she remembers where she is and who she’s with, and she turns to see Winn and James clamping their lips shut in a valiant attempt to keep from outright laughing. “Shut up ,” she tells them in an indignant groan, and then they’re actually laughing now, shoulders shaking.

“Your face,” Winn gasps, “oh my god, I can go to heaven right now, that’s hilarious, oh my god.”

“Yeah, well,” Kara says, frowning at him, “don’t be so sure heaven’s the one waiting for you, pal.”

“Totally worth a trip to hell, is what I’m saying.”

“Just quit it, Winn.”

“No, no,” Winn says, looking at her as if she just spoke an alien language. “This is prime blackmail material, I’m gonna hold on to this for the rest of my natural life.”

“It’s not going to be a long wait if you don’t stop, I swear.”

“This is just golden.”

“Winn.”

“Golden, I say. Classic.”

Winn!

 

                               

 

huff-le-puff danvers: [sent an attachment: IMG_0421.jpg]

huff-le-puff danvers: wish you were here

huff-le-puff danvers: not

huff-le-puff danvers: >:)

alexpectro patronum: WHAT HAVE I DONE TO OFFEND YOU THIS TIME

alexpectro patronum: !!!

huff-le-puff danvers: nothing in particular

huff-le-puff danvers: have fun with g-grade coffee and crumbly cookies

huff-le-puff danvers: :)

 

                               

 

Kara could honestly kiss Winn and James.

Well, no, not really kiss them, because that would be awkward and weird and kind of gross , so just—no. But she does consider pecking them on the cheeks and squishing them in a tight hug just to express her deep, profound gratitude that she has the honour of calling them her friends.

. . . Anyway.

The point is, Winn and James make conversation easy amongst the four of them; Kara feels like they’ve done this all their lives, and when she looks at Lena’s eyes, she can see that she’s also having fun, and really, that’s all Kara can ask for—for Lena to be happy, at ease, content.

After dinner—which was an expectedly delicious and totally enjoyable affair, especially coupled with the free-flowing banter—they moved to the living room, lounging around in various positions of gastronomic satisfaction. Winn’s leaning back on the couch with his socked feet propped up on the coffee table, while James is flopped down beside him on the carpet. Kara and Lena are on the sofa, with Kara’s legs stretched out; she’s leaning against Lena who has an arm lazily slung around her shoulder while the other is braced on the armrest.

The TV is turned on low, though they haven’t really been paying attention to it for some time, as they talk about nothing and everything. Winn and Lena share a love for science and technology; Lena and James share a healthy appreciation for post-modernism and talk of political ideologies.

And Kara?

Kara watches as Lena talks to her friends, engage them in intelligent discussions and clever debates, watches as her eyes spark when answering their questions and flash when asking her own.

She listens as Lena’s words tumble together in an excited surge when she talks of her projects and of recent scientific advances, and she listens when they tremble with rage and grief when she speaks of the horrors happening around the world.  

She watches and listens and feels Lena’s hand warm on her skin, and Kara’s love for her grows and grows and grows.

 

                               

 

Empty beer cans litter the floor, and there are shot glasses from when Winn thought it fun to make Jägerbombs, though Kara learns that that’s been a horrible mistake somewhere between the first shot and the seventh.

She’s so drunk, and she figures her friends are pretty much the same way. (Except maybe Lena, because Kara thinks she can drink her weight in alcohol and still be coherent enough to discuss the principles of quantum physics.)

She doesn’t even know what time it is, but she’s aware enough to realise that Winn and James aren’t in any shape to go home on their own.

“S’eep,” she mumbles, not really sure to whom she’s talking, but she knows they should really get to bed soon. Bed sounds good.

“Mhm,” comes a mumble beside her, and she turns her head only to be greeted by raven hair. Lena is curled up around her, her head on Kara’s shoulder, arm thrown over Kara’s stomach, wrapping her up in the best embrace in the world.

Kara takes a deep breath, and she inhales a lungful of expensive perfume and a scent that is so uniquely Lena that Kara finds herself even more intoxicated.

“Bed, Lena,” she says, though she can’t quite recognise her own voice. It sounds gravelly, like she’s spent hours speaking—which, yes, maybe she has.

She feels Lena stiffen at the sound of her voice, but she’s not given a chance to figure out what that’s about because Lena suddenly sits up, clearing her throat. “Yes, bed.”

“Wh—” Kara starts, but Lena’s already standing.

She goes over to where Winn and James are lying prone, tapping them both on the cheeks to wake them up. “Hey. Get up.”

“No.”

“Come on, Winn, bed.”

“Are you tucking me in?”

Lena snorts. “No.”

“M’kay.”

“Ugh.” James groans, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Stop talking.”

“Get to bed, you two.” Lena sighs. “The floor’s not for sleeping.” When they don’t show any sign of moving, she sighs again. “Okay, you asked for it.”

Then she unceremoniously pokes Winn’s side with her foot, making him shriek loudly, which in turn makes James shoot up, scrambling in panic.

The whole thing makes Kara laugh for some reason, and she’s gasping for breath on the sofa as the boys glare at her and Lena smirks.

“Oh, shut up,” Winn and James say in unison, with the same intonation, and it makes Kara laugh harder.

Lena shakes her head at them, fondness written all over her features. She shushes Winn and James when they open their mouth for some indignant retort. “Go to sleep. You can torture Kara tomorrow.”

“Hey!”

Winn huffs, but he takes his phone. “Fine. Lemme just call for a cab.”

“No need,” Lena tells him. “You can both take Kara’s room.”

“Yeah,” Kara says. “You can—wait. What?”

Lena raises an eyebrow. “You really want them to go home this time of night?”

“Of course not—”

“Then it’s settled.” She regards the boys again, pointing to Kara’s room. “Go on. Kara’s sleeping in mine.”

“I am?”

“Yes, Kara,” Lena says, tugging her up, “you are.”

 

                               

 

Lena gently tucks Kara to bed, after making her brush her teeth and drink a glass of water. (“So you’ll feel a bit less miserable when you wake up,” she said, matter-of-fact, and Kara didn’t object because her mind is on how Lena could manage to make the act of cleaning her teeth so freaking elegant.) She then climbs beside her, making sure there’s a bit of space between them so Kara doesn’t feel suffocated or something.

Kara can just about make out her current surrounding with the gentle glow of Lena’s nightlight (which is shaped like the moon because Lena is a space nerd and Kara loves her), and Lena is looking at her so tenderly that Kara feels her chest so close to splitting open with everything she hasn’t the courage to say.

She doesn’t know when she moves but the next thing she knows, she has a hand cupping Lena’s face, her thumb swiping over her soft skin, and her breath catches in her throat when Lena leans into the contact.

“Kara?” Lena says her name with something that makes her heart hammer against her rib cage, and the look in her eyes makes Kara dizzier than any alcohol could make her. Lena’s hand comes up to hers, and at first Kara’s afraid she’s going to pull it away, but Lena just lightly grasps her wrist, holding her in place.

“You know,” Kara begins, watching their hands in fascination, “I’m like, super—super scared of you.” She frowns, thinking over her words, before amending, “Well, not you you. More like, I’m super scared of the way you make me feel? Because you make me feel a lot. A lot.” She meets Lena’s gaze, to find Lena looking at her with rapt attention. “So many feelings, and sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in them but that’s like the best part, because it reminds me that I’m here, you know? You remind me that I’m here, that I exist, that I’m more than my name and my birthright. You remind me that I—that I matter. Me.

The grip in her wrist tightens. “You do matter, Kara.”

“See? From you, it’s easy to believe that.” Kara laughs, but it is a broken sound, like a scratched record skipping beats. “You’re so—Lena, Rao, you’re so amazing, do you know that? You’re amazing and kind and smart and fantastic and you’re so good . And I’m so scared that I’m going to screw up and you’re going to realise that you deserve so much better and that I’m just—that I’m just me and that your time is better spent on someone not me.”

“Kara—”

“I’m scared that I’ll mess up somehow and you’ll stop talking to me and we’ll drift apart. I’m scared that I’ll ruin everything and that you’ll leave.” Her voice cracks, and she doesn’t understand why her vision is fuzzy. She can see Lena, but there are blurs on the edges, and she can’t make out her expression.

Her lips taste salty too, when she runs her tongue over them, and her cheeks feel kind of sticky? The pillow beneath her head is also kind of damp, and it’s weird, but Kara can’t process anything at the moment because the Lena-shaped blob suddenly moves, and then something warm is patting Kara’s back.

“Ssshh, darling, hey, I’m here, I’m here,” Lena says soothingly, and Kara realises that she’s in Lena’s arms now? Yes, Lena has pulled Kara into a tight hug, an arm sliding under her head and the other around her waist, and Kara feels so safe. Lena touches her like she’s, well, not something fragile, but like she’s precious and valued and adored, and it makes Kara ache, in the best way, if that makes sense.

She just wants to stay right here for the rest of her life, here in the safe bubble of only Lena and Kara and the two of them together. It’s maybe selfish, and maybe Kara won’t think like this when she’s sober, but for now all Kara can think about is how right it is to be in Lena’s arm, like the universe is saying that it’s where she’s always been meant to be.

She listens to Lena’s breathing and feels the faint thud of her heart, and lets herself be lulled into the threshold of sleep.

“Please don’t leave,” she whispers after some time, her words muffled against Lena’s shoulder as she burrows closer into her unchanging warmth.

“I won’t, darling, I promise,” Lena says, squeezing Kara reassuringly. The cadence of her voice reminds Kara of the sea at night, the rippling waves reflecting moonlight. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”

“Is forever too much to ask?”

“Kara,” says Lena, and her voice sounds far away, now, “forever sounds perfect to me.”

 

                                                               

 

[8:51]

alexpectro patronum: hey

alexpectro patronum: are you alive

 

[9:01]

alexpectro patronum: do i need to murder W & J

alexpectro patronum: or do you just need help with their bodies

 

[9:14]

alexpectro patronum: say something you big baby

 

[9:23]

alexpectro patronum: kara????

 

[9:25]

alexpectro patronum: kara is2g if you died i’m gonna kill you

 

                                                               

 

Kara receives a rather rude wake-up call from the sun. She does not appreciate it in the least.

There’s a space between the curtains that lets in a sliver of sunshine which, just as Kara’s luck would have it, falls directly across her eyes, and the brightness hurts .

“Augh,” she says, waving her hands against the sunlight in some misguided attempt of batting it away.

Sadly, it doesn’t work.

It does make someone laugh, though, and Kara squints to see Lena sitting on the edge of the bed. The faint stream of sunlight haloes her in such a way that makes her look like an angel, the tips of her black hair catching fire.

“Am I dead?” she asks—or croaks, more like, the words a rough rasp against her throat.

“No,” Lena says, smiling amusedly. “Won’t let that happen, darling.”

“I feel like Jabba the Hutt died in my mouth and his corpse is growing an ecosystem all the way down to my tummy.”

“That’s weirdly specific, and also terribly disgusting. But it would’ve been worse if you didn’t brush your teeth, so, you’re doing quite well.”

“I can actually feel my life force leaving my body.”

“Not possible.”

“Turn off the sun.”

“Afraid I can’t do that, though I can ease your pain.” Lena pats her arm. “Come on, get up. Drink water.”

Kara groans, but she does as she’s told, sitting up and accepting the glass of water Lena gets from the nightstand. She also takes the pills given to her without much fuss. “I will never drink alcohol again. Ever. It’s a menace. Why does the human race keep making stuff bad for the body?”

Lena snorts. “We’re one of those species with a severely questionable sense of self-preservation.”

Kara sighs and then looks at her accusingly. “You’re not hung over.”

Lena smirks. “You know I never am.”

“How unfair is that? Are you sure you even have a liver? Is it a human liver or did you actually find a way to make a non-organic one?”

“A lady never tells, Kara.” She stands up. “And speaking of livers, you might need a transplant soon. I don’t think you’re supposed to drink that many shots consecutively, and you didn’t stop when I told you to.”

“I handled it!”

“Clearly.” Lena sighs, exasperated. “And your friends are very supportive of your questionable life choices.”

“Oh, right!”  Kara exclaims, just about vaguely remembering that Winn and James slept over. “Where are they?”

“Woke up, fed them breakfast, then sent them on their way.” Lena shrugs at the question in her eyes. “I asked them if they wanted to stay ’til you return from the dead, but they said they have stuff to do.”

“Oh.” She admits she’s a little bit disappointed that they already left, but she does understand. She’s just really thankful they even managed to make time for her on such short notice. “What time is it?”

“A little past ten.”

“I see.” Huh. Earlier than she expected, with the way her head is throbbing. Rao, just how much did she have to drink?

She faintly remembers something about beds? She squints—no, yeah, beds, because the boys took hers while . . . Oh. Right.

She looks at the blanket wrapped around her.

Yep.

She slept with Lena.

Well, nope, no, no, not slept, because yeesh, girl, slow the heck down. But she’s in Lena’s bed, and the space beside her is rumpled, and she does have a hazy memory of arms around her and holy Rao she cuddled with Lena in Lena’s bed—presumably all night—and she can’t clearly remember it happening!

The frustration she feels on missing out on such a momentous occasion makes her groan, though it comes out more of a whine.

“Are you okay?”

“Hmm?” Kara looks up at her, sees the concern on Lena’s face. Right. “Yeah, yeah. It’s just”—she scrunches her nose, huffs—“there’s like a big blank after the Jägerbombs and I don’t particularly want to fill it in.” Which is technically true. She may want to remember the sleeping-in-Lena’s-bed part of the previous night, but before that?

Nope. Not particularly.

“Are you sure?” Lena asks, grinning now. “Because it was pretty fantastic, if I do say so myself.”

The impishness in her stare warns Kara that it was not fantastic—at least not for her own dignity. “No.”

Lena ignores that. “You apologised to Winn for lying about his hair back in fifth grade, which apparently was a huge deal?”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes. Anyway, he felt sort of betrayed about that because he thought you genuinely liked his haircut. He kinda curled up on the floor after that revelation.” She pauses, smirking. “Then you told James that he’s got really nice muscles, and he blushed, then you apologised—again—though this time, it was to the both of them, because you were unable to return their feelings.”

Oh no.

“It was an eye-opening night for me, Kara. I got confirmation for my long-held hypothesis.” Her smirk widens, and Kara wants to shrink and be one with the blankets. “I did have you pegged as a heartbreaker beneath those cardigans you so love to wear.”

Rao.”

“On the bright side, you didn’t throw up even once. I’m impressed.”

“Did I do anything else.” Kara doesn’t really want to know, but she’s got that gruesome curiosity that makes people stop and stare at an unfolding tragedy.

“Nah,” Lena answers, with a mysterious smile that sets her heart pounding. “Or, well, you kept touching my hair and telling me I’m pretty, but then again”—she shrugs, shooting Kara a wink—“what’s new, right?”

Kara tugs the blankets over her head and groans in mortification.