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no one but you (got me feeling this way)

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To say that Kara is smitten would be a severe understatement.

To say that she’s having a hard time hiding it is even more so.

 

After all, nobody has ever accused Kara of being subtle.

 

                               

 

It’s not like Lena is making Things™ easy for Kara either.

And by Things™, Kara means stuff that she barely has the ability to articulate, because Lena is so beautiful, okay, and Kara’s apparently very weak when it comes to beautiful girls, and her already hyperactive brain just kind of gives up trying to fulfill even its most basic functions whenever Lena’s in the vicinity.

And Lena, Rao, she’s almost always in the vicinity, nowadays.

Her schedule lets up after those first few weeks, and she tells Kara that the only reason she’s gone during those nights is because she’s working on a special project with other engineering majors—something that involves scientific concepts Kara has encountered only in Krypton but isn’t completely familiar with by virtue of choosing other fields on which to focus. But she still nods along because Lena’s eyes get this sparkle whenever she talks of something she’s passionate about (like there’s a light that just refuses to stay within her and stubbornly fights its way out, and it makes those eyes brighter, brighter, brighter), and Kara kind of just wants to stare at them forever.

 

Anyway.

The project finally got traction with the board of directors, and they just have to wait for the approval to take it to the next level, which apparently can take months. So Lena’s free during nights now, and though her workload is still heavy, it’s more manageable, and it allows them to work out a routine, of sorts.

 

Movie Mondays: One of them chooses a genre, and the other decides on the film itself. It’s kind of tricky, because they have generally different tastes, and Kara has resorted to reading Wiki articles of Top 10 (insert genre) Movies just so she can have an idea of what to choose and stuff. Lena always looks at her warmly whenever Kara manages to name a film she actually likes, though, and she knows that the extra effort is so worth it.

(It’s especially worth it when Lena snuggles closer to her on the sofa, a blanket strewn on their legs, and it makes Kara want to set herself on fire, because really, this is so unfair, what has she done to deserve this? Lena likes resting her head on Kara’s shoulder and her breath gusts over Kara’s neck when she laughs at something ridiculous happening on the screen and Kara smells lavender and Lena Lena Lena.)

 

Tambourine Tuesdays: This one is essentially karaoke/sing-along night, and it started as a joke, when Lena asked Kara if she played any instruments and Kara asked if tambourines count. Lena laughed that low, husky laugh that’s just a detriment to Kara’s sanity, and said, “Yes, sure,” and then from there the discussion moved to music and favourite singers and bands and stuff. And then one of them had this brilliant idea (and Lena will later insist that it’s her, because “Kara, if one idea is brilliant, then it’s mine, because all my ideas are brilliant.”) of pulling up those YouTube karaoke videos and singing along, and yeah. Tuesdays are fantastic.

(And Kara will never forget the first time she sang in Lena’s presence. She chose “La Vie en Rose”—because why not?—and she was having fun because it’s been weeks since she last went to that karaoke bar she frequented with Alex. And she sort of forgot that Lena’s new to her life—because it feels like she’s always been in Kara’s life, and it might sound weird if it didn’t feel so freaking rightand thus she wasn’t informed that, well, not to brag, okay, Kara’s got the vocal chops.

And so she sang with all she got because “La Vie en Rose” always made her feel Things™ and stuff that she’s now coming to associate with the woman beside her, and she looked, okay, because how could she not when Lena’s warm and there, and the gaze that greeted her almost made her stumble over the French words that she learned to heart when she was like five.

Lena’s eyes had a Look in them, the capital L intentional, and it’s a Look that Kara couldn’t decipher but made her feel stuff that she absolutely had no business feeling about her roommate who’s fast becoming her closest friend.)

(And for all the time she spends trying, Kara still can’t quite figure out just what the exact shade of Lena’s eyes are—they’re green, at first, but then that word seems kind of lacking. It’s too plain a word, to describe what Lena’s eyes do to Kara. It’s restricting too, because it’s just not green, no, Lena’s eyes are grey when she’s sleepy and the moon bathes their apartment in its soft light, and they’re blue during early mornings when she hauls herself out of bed to make Kara pancakes for breakfast.)

 

Burrito Wednesdays: Lena’s got Wednesday afternoons off, and she spends her free time mostly reading, sleeping, and—to Kara’s eternal delight—cooking. Lena, apparently, is like, a knife away from being a five-star chef with all the meals under her repertoire, the cuisines ranging from Italian to Chinese to Indian to French.

(“You cook,” Kara breathed in palpable wonder when she first stumbled home with the air smelling like that restaurant in Cordova Street that never failed to make her mouth water.

And oh boy, if that’s not enough to make her like, legit drool, then the sight of Lena capably handling skillets and spatulas should do it. Lena looked so at home in their kitchen, her hair neatly tied in a ponytail, her shirtsleeves rolled up to the elbows, and a black apron with a white cartoon cat wrapped around her waist.)

(And Kara shoved away thoughts of how the word home kept popping in her mind when she’s thinking about Lena.)

(Burrito Wednesdays are basically a gift from Rao, is what she chooses to think of.)

(“I do,” Lena answered with a little grin. “It’s perfect, really, that I get to be paired up with someone who can inhale an entire meal with a single breath, no?” And, by the name of all that Kara held holy in this world, she winked.

Winked, okay, and Kara’s doomed.

And what else was she to do but to mumble unintelligible sounds and hide in her room?

But, of course, Lena successfully coaxed her back out with promises of burritos and how she’s going to cook for Kara from then on.)

So when Kara comes home on Wednesdays, the coffee table is laden with their usual Burrito Wednesday fare. Obviously, Kara is happy with the presence of just an irresponsible amount of burritos, but Lena won’t leave it at that. She prepares Greek salads too because “I don’t care if your metabolism is ridiculously inhuman, Kara, you still need to eat something healthy at least once in a while.” And sometimes there’s lasagna, which Lena cooks to perfection, and Kara doesn’t know how Lena knew her ideal pasta-to-cheese ratio, but she’s grateful for it, and when Lena drinks the cocoa Kara especially made for her, with just a dash of cinnamon and plenty of milk, she gets this pleased little smile that Kara really likes the most, and Kara knows that Lena understands her anyway.

 

Trivia Thursdays: This, Kara admits, is not one of her greatest ideas. Trivia Thursdays are game nights, usually board games, and normally she’s all for it, but then.

But then.

Lena utterly wrecks her at game nights.

Lena’s a competitive soul, and it’s obvious with the way her eyes zero in on the board at the beginning of the game, as if she can somehow size up the possible gains with just a glance. She has no qualms in bankrupting Kara, barely bats an eyelash when she claims all Kara’s properties on Boardwalk, and just gives this little smug smirk when she inevitably turns out the victor. She does this little wiggle while seated on the floor’s carpet, eyes dancing with glee and self-satisfaction, and Kara has never seen anything more endearing.

(Okay, fine. Maybe Kara does like Trivia Thursdays. Still, she’ll never admit this under oath in a court of law, even though she’s pretty sure Lena already knows. It’s the principle of the thing.)

“You’d make a wonderful capitalist overlord,” Kara would tease.

Lena would just chuckle, her smile inscrutable. “Yes, I know.”

 

Freaky Fridays: With the way Lena looks—so beautiful, and until Kara discovers another word that can describe Lena, then this simple but no-less-true one would have to do—Kara assumes that she’s invited to lots and lots of parties and stuff.

Which is a correct assumption, by the way.

(“I am,” Lena told her, when Kara brought it up. Her eyes, as always, were warm—so, so warm—and she looked amused.

Kara frowned though, puzzled, taking in Lena’s outfit—loose grey sweatpants and a black V-neck shirt, and her hair was piled up in that messy bun Kara liked best on her. It looked great, because honestly Lena could wear a garbage bag and still pull off the whole beautiful Thing™, but it’s not, well, party attire. “You’re . . . not going?”

“No,” Lena said, and she curled up on her couch, hugging her legs close. “Parties aren’t really my scene.”

“They’re not?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I just—” Kara stammered, because that’s what Lena did to her, apparently, “You’re like”—and she just gestured to Lena’s entire being—“you know?” she said, a little lost, a little helpless.

“I’m afraid I don’t follow, Kara.” Kara’s like 98 percent sure Lena was teasing her again.

Kara groaned. “I thought you party on Fridays and do, like, I don’t know, freaky stuff?”

Lena blinked at her, and Kara blinked back, before a blush bloomed on her cheeks, and her brain—at last—caught up with her words, and she stuttered out an explanation with flailing hands. “Not that kind of freaky! Though if it was, I won’t judge, because people should be free to decide what they do and don’t do in those kinds of things as long as there’s consent because consent is very important. And, like, I’m sure you won’t have a hard time finding consenting people, anyway, because wow, you’re like, really beautiful, but that’s not my point!”

By then Kara’s pretty sure she closely resembled a tomato, and when she chanced a glance at Lena, she found that she’s got a hand over her eyes, and she’s shaking with suppressed laughter.

“Oh, darling,” Lena said, her words ringing with mirth, “you’re entirely too precious.”)

(When her laughter finally subsided and Kara could finally breathe without embarrassing herself, Lena took Kara’s hands in hers and told her to change into comfortable clothes.

“Why?”

She leaned closer, and Kara nearly died. “We’ll do something freaky,” and she chuckled when Kara blushed again, opening her mouth to say something, anything. “I’m kidding, Kara. Just trust me, would you?”

That night, Lena’s eyes were liquid jades, and all Kara could say was, “Okay.”)

 

Anyway, that something freaky turns out to be the point of no return for Kara.

(Lena took her to the animal shelter just a little way outside of campus.

“Being here offers me time to think,” she told Kara. “I’ve found that animals are often far more human than many other actual, biological humans, and sadly, many humans are far more animal than the beasts over which they claim to have dominion.”

She got a faraway look in her eyes when she said this, and Kara couldn’t find it in her to ask her about it.)

 

Lena has a way with the animals. She’s so gentle with them, and Kara’s heart grows a little bit more with every coo Lena gives to a puppy and every tender stroke of her hand over a kitten’s fur. She looks far younger here, surrounded by these furry faces, and Kara realises that she really has no hope of recovering after this.

Not after seeing how Lena glows, how innocent and pure she is.

(See: Lena’s really beautiful. Kara cannot emphasise that enough, okay, because she’s not just talking about Lena’s physical beauty—to which, honestly, Kara can like dedicate an entire thesis plus a dozen sonnets—but her heart too. Her heart, which she wears on her sleeves, and which Kara wants to protect.)

So it is there that they spend their Fridays—which Lena insists on calling Freaky Fridays for posterity’s sake, as if Kara can ever forget the mortification.

 

(But Kara doesn’t mind, not at all, not when Lena looks so happy.)

 

                                                               

 

It takes her far longer than necessary to finally admit to Alex that she may be in trouble here.

 

huff-le-puff danvers: i think i’m doomed

 

She expects some serious response, because it’s Alex, and Alex normally takes trouble seriously, but well, it seems that it’s not the case this time.

 

alexpecto patronum: no shit sherlock

huff-le-puff danvers: language, alex

huff-le-puff danvers: ALSO what’s that supposed to mean

alexpecto patronum: see this is why i’m the smart one

alexpecto patronum: i don’t ask the obvious questions

huff-le-puff danvers: i’m lost

alexpecto patronum: i know

alexpecto patronum: don’t worry

alexpecto patronum: it will get better

 

Kara doesn’t know if she believes that.

 

(But when Lena drops by her room to say good night, well.

Maybe Kara can find it in her to believe.

 

Maybe.)