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Heart of Steel Turned Gold

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I decided I'd wake Arthur up slightly differently than usual this morning. I kissed his forehead, his nose, his lips, his chin, his collarbone, his abs (oh hot damn his abs). He woke up somewhere in the middle there.
"Mer..." he murmured sleepily, "what are you...naugh!"
I started stroking his cock, enjoying how quickly he got hard. I wrapped my lips around his head, earning a low groan from the back of Arthur's throat. I smiled against him and gave him a few licks on the underside of his shaft. I took him all the way into my mouth until I reached his base. It hurt a little, after all, his cock was impressive. Very impressive. He let out an almost feral growl. He seriously knew how to turn me on. I let go of him to trail my tongue up his cock from the base. He shuddered. I started teasing his tip with my tongue, but didn't go further. "Mer, babe. Baby please. Please d-don't stop." I bobbed his length up and down suddenly, as he  bucked into my mouth. He groaned hoarsely in the way that made me hot. He grabbed my hair tightly but released it slightly when I grunted at the sudden pain. He always wanted to make sure I wasn't hurt, even now. "M-Mer,Ohfuck, I-I..." He didn't finished when the hot liquid came suddenly in the back of my throat. He groaned and ran his fingers through my hair. If I hadn't prepared for it, I probably would have choked. I swallowed it down and wiped my lips before getting back up to him and laying my head on his chest.

"That was a pleasant way to wake up" he breathed.
"Think of it as a personal thank you for kindly eating me out last night."
He kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arm around me.
"I love you."
My heart felt like it would jump out of it's chest.
"I love you too."
I was afraid. Afraid that what I felt wasn't real. I loved him the moment he spoke to me and kissed my hand over 4 weeks ago. I thought it wasn't real and that maybe it was infatuation. But it wasn't. I knew it couldn't be. I started grinding my hips on his growing erection. The man had impeccable recovery time. He grabbed my waist and...
A knock at the door.
"Ugh, seriously, what the fuck?!"
The person on the other side of the door couldn't hear that. Arthur usually kept his door a crack open so he could hear who knocked. Whenever he was with me, he shut and locked it, soundproofing what went on between us.

"Mmh, don't hear you swear much outside of bed Arthur. Sexy."

He grinned and rolled on top of me, starting to whisper dirty things in my ear, when the person knocked again. There were only 2 knocks this time which was odd. I didn't know what it meant but Arthur's demeanor changed.
"Ugh. It's Thomson."
Ahh, Juliana.
She was... something else.

"Stay hidden, love."
I could get used to that nickname.
He pulled his jumpsuit on and straightened himself out. She knocked again.
"Can this impatient ho just calm the fuck down?" I asked unusually calmly.
Arthur chuckled and reached the door just as I went to the bathroom and left the door open a crack.
"Elder Maxson"
Oh she's using her flirty voice on my man?
"What seems to be the issue Scribe?"
"Who said there had to a problem to come and visit my favorite Elder?"
Your only Elder you slut.
"I would prefer you would keep this professional between us Thom-"
"Come on Elder, what's holding you back?"
Her voice was seductive, I've heard it enough times.
"Thomson, next time refrain from inappropriate touching."
She was touching him now?
Aw heeeeeellll no.
"Oh do say please, Elder."
"You're dismissed Scribe." I could almost hear Arthur gritting his teeth.
"As you wish."
There was a pause.
A pause.
"Ad Victorium" she said in a breathy way that would probably ruin the phrase for me for the rest of my life.
I peeked out the door to see Arthur basically steaming at the ears.
"She just... ugh... I can't stand her."
I patted him on the back and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He actually scowled.
"Juliana just kissed me on the cheek. I'd prefer if you gave me something a little more."
I kissed him full on the mouth to let him know who he belonged to. It was steamy and heavy, but we both had work to do.

I got dressed, left him with another kiss, and made my way down to the mess hall.
Juliana was in her usual place so, naturally, I made my way over to her and her minions to see what went on in that little brain of hers.
"What's up Juli?"
She gave me that fake, plastic grin she gave everyone.
"I think I'm on to something. Something concerning Elder Maxson."
"Ooh, do tell." I was a great actress but I could help my sarcasm from coming through.
"I think Elder Maxson is in a relationship with someone on this ship."
"Really?" I sat down.
"His clothes were disheveled, his bed was a mess, and there is no denying that scent."
"Who could it be?" One of Juliana's girls asked.
"Could be anyone" I added.
Juliana scoffed.
"Elder Maxson wouldn't pick just anyone. He needs a woman. A real woman."
Oh, so I'm a real woman? Thanks Juli.
"He needs someone who could please him in bed, and somewhat pleasant."
Jesus Christ Juliana.
"But above all, he needs a good mother for his future children."
"Someone superiorly healthy and in good condition to bear children. Someone who he knows would be a good mother and First Lady of the Brotherhood."
My heart was shattered into a million pieces, and if that wasn't enough, Juliana was stabbing me with the jagged shards.
"Arthur Maxson isn't interested in being in a true relationship. If this fling isn't just an attempt to blow off steam, then it's an attempt to convince a girl he cares about her. He is a soldier with a heart of steel. No one is going to change that. The best that bitch could hope for us that their honeymoon phase doesn't end sometime next week."
I excused myself. I had heard enough.

I hated Juliana. Why should I believe a single word she says? But it made sense. It just made... so much sense. He did tell me about his obligation to marry and continue his line. But no, he told me he didn't care about that. He... He... God, am I just that stupid?! It felt strange falling in love with a man in a month, and now I knew why. He was playing me so he could ensure a mother for his children. I couldn't blame him, I mean I'm healthy and from before the war. In their eyes, there's nothing wrong with me. I was just a baby carrier. Just. I thought he loved me. I felt confident in front of him, and my insecurities vanished when he was around but.
I started sobbing the moment I stepped into the bathroom stall.
He said... no. People 'say' things all the time. He didn't mean it. Esmeralda, you idiot. You really thought he would actually fall for you? You're pathetic. You're in way over your head. God, I hated to admit it, but Juliana was right. That bitch was actually right. Arth... no. Elder Maxson wouldn't ever notice me if it weren't for my situation. He's after a wife, and I happened to fit the bill. But. No, the way he kissed me, just... it had to be real. But how could it when everything else said otherwise. I mean, he pulled out the time we had sex but who's to say he would do it next time? Juliana was right, he just wanted someone pleasant who'd be a good mother. He never cared about me, he cared about my uterus.

I got up from the stall shakily. I was trembling, and I knew my eyes were probably crimson red. I needed to blow off steam before confronting Arthur or else I know I'love break down or blow up.
I walked slowly to the knight quarters. Rhys was there, cleaning his laser rifle.
"Rhys" I said, trying to hide the crack in my voice.
He looked up at my bloodshot eyes.
"What happened to you?" He didn't look worried, just as if he was asking a question like what the weather was like.
"Don't worry about it. You got a place that needs clearing out? I need to kill something."
"Yeah sure..."