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Mitch-Matched Exo

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There was something immensely satisfying about careless spinning the deadly weight of a gun around his fingers, something about treating a tool that meant death like a toy for idle hands. Kai spun his pistol around one more time and then let it hang idly at his side as he strolled across the dimly lit warehouse towards the crowd of people in the middle of the room. They were mostly his own men, standing silently with their guns and knives and baseball bats held relaxed at their sides. There were less of them than there had been several weeks ago. The ones who remained looked tattered and tired, wrapped in bandages, grim but proud in the half light. They were a right sight better than the small group on their knees, hands bound, in a line on the ground before them, some of them stifling sobs. The survivors.

Chanyeol walked behind Kai, limp evident, and Kai could practically feel the tense energy pouring off him in waves. Despite Kai’s relaxed posture, there was nothing relaxed about the situation. This was the final step, the last of the cleaning up before they closed this chapter in the city’s history. The end of the last regime, and the beginning of Kai’s.

“How many?”

“Twenty-five, not including the old man. He put up too much fuss. We killed him on the way here.”

“Ah, what a shame. I would have loved to spit in his face.” For all the men he’d lost, for all the men handcuffed to hospital beds for the time being, until Kai could sort through which deserved the effort of bailing out. “Lets get this over with, shall we?”

There was something of a ceremonial feel to the proceedings, almost ritualistic. Kai stopped in front of the group and straightened the lapels of his fitted grey suit. He considered addressing them, before dismissing it. They weren’t the ones who deserved his attention first.

“Gentlemen,” Hwasa cleared her throat and cocked an eyebrow. “And ladies,” he corrected, smiling. Couldn’t leave out one of his best. “This will conclude a long, hard fight. Thank you all for everything you have sacrificed for me. I could not be happier with your performance. You all know I’m not someone who likes to talk a lot at times like this, but I’m sure you all realize how proud I am of this fellowship. Our troubles aren’t over, but I trust this group, which is something I do not do lightly, and I know we’ll stand strong for a long time to come.”

The group remained silent, but they looked strong and proud, despite their tattered appearance. Kai smiled. “Now for the fun part.”

There was quite murmur of laughter and Kai’s gaze swept briefly across the kneeling group. One at the end caught his eye. This one wasn’t bent or battered, or even taking on a misguided attempt at final dignity. He was young, strikingly pretty, and he sat tall and stared at Kai with rapt attention. He was dressed better than everyone else in an expensive wine red silk shirt that showcased is broad shoulders and black dress pants. Kai gave his pistol another twirl before cocking it and purposefully started at the other end of the line. He could feel the boy’s eyes follow him, and had to wrangle his attention back to the first kneeling man.

“William Bones.”

Chanyeol stepped up to Kai’s side. “Yes, this is William Bones, though we think it’s a fake name, or at least not the one he was born with. The old man’s right hand, brilliant tactician. Fiercely loyal, sex offender, extremely rich. He has a lot of assets.”

The old man on the ground stared straight ahead. Kai knew very well who he was.

“Too close to the old man. I’d never trust him.” Kai raised the pistol and shot him in the head. With the silencer it was a no drama affair, just a quick jolt and then the man fell to the ground. A few flecks of blood splattered across Kai’s gray suit.

He moved on while the rest of the line as the hostages showed various signs of distress. This was the part of the job that made Kai feel the most powerful. When he could stand, free of danger, and decide if someone lived or died. Adrenaline pumped through his veins. He wondered if the boy at the end of the line was surprised he pulled the trigger himself. The old man would have made a subordinate do it.

The next man Kai shot without even stopping. Personal grudge. Same with the next one. By the fourth man in line, he had to take a deep breath to tamp down the power trip. He would never have gotten where he was without calculated self control. Even though pulling the trigger felt so damn good, the fourth man he didn’t know. The man looked resolutely at the ground and Kai couldn’t see his face.

Chanyeol spoke up from beside him. “Kris Wu, low level assassin. He was new to the old man’s gang, otherwise he would have been much higher. Very skilled.”

“Any ties to the old man?”

“Just a hired arm.”

Kai could work with that.

“Mr. Wu, do you have anything to say for yourself? Why did you join up with the old man?”

Kris Wu looked up and met Kai’s eyes. Dignified, handsome.

“He paid me.”

“Would you be interested in a change of employer?”

Kris Wu looked surprised, but nodded. Kai moved on.

The next few men were mid-level henchmen who had worked with the old men for a lot of years with very few skills. They’d won their spots through money and loyalty instead of usefulness. Kai shot them all. He could tell a lot of the line was going to be the same. Then there were a couple other high level thugs who ended up on the floor next to their subordinates.

Number twelve was young and pretty and trembling, and Kai tamped down the blood lust. The boy looked straight over Kai’s shoulder at Chanyeol, who seemed anxious.

“This is Byun Baekhyun. He’s an amazing hacker and engineer, great with a gun, extremely smart. Um.” He leaned in closer to Kai’s ear. “I went to high school with him. He’d be an amazing asset. He was high level, but we were very good friends until we grew apart and he joined up with the old man. He’d be loyal to me, and he’d warm up to you. I think he’s worth a little risk.”

“Do you have anything to say for yourself, Mr. Byun?”

Baekhyun continued to stare at Chanyeol. “Yeol, please.”

He looked sweet and pretty. Kai liked pretty things. Chanyeol took a shaky breath behind Kai’s shoulder. More than the risk, the kid was worth not straining Chanyeol’s loyalty in any way if he could avoid it.

“Okay, he can live. Would you like to work for me, Mr. Byun?”

“Yes. Yes, sir.”


The next two were sex traffickers, and Kai had no need for those. He shot them too. The next was probably no more than eighteen, crying pitifully, and Chanyeol just said he had been a new recruit.

“Pathetic. I don’t want to shoot him or keep him. Detain him for now until we figure out how to get rid of him without any risks.”

The next four were no brainers. Useless, in the old man’s service too long to be trustable. Kai’s heart thudded in his ribcage, blood artfully splattered his suit. He felt flushed and excited, maybe even a little taller than usual, as he watched man after man plead and cry and then fall to the ground, unmoving. The gun was blissfully warm in his hands, and the end was in sight. Kai glanced down to the end of the line again to see that the pretty one still sat tall, watching carefully, eyes wide.

He took his time with the last ones. He questioned the next two about their loyalties, just enough that they started to hope, and then deemed them useless or untrustworthy. One of them couldn’t stop sobbing long enough to answer Kai’s questions. One tried to make a break for it. Kai shot them all.

He spared the third from the end, a rich kid that had been conned into lending financial support to the old man for years. His name was Junmyeon. He’d even been legally adopted by the old man just so he could have easier access to the poor kid’s money. That also meant he legally inherited all the old man’s wealth when Kai’s men shot him on the way to the warehouse.

“If you give me a fairly substantial part of your recent inheritance, I’ll never bother you again.”



Two more. He looked up and caught the eye of the boy at the end. He stared up at Kai with an intensity that kept Kai from looking away. Up close he was even more beautiful. Soft-looking, dark hair and sparkling, handsome eyes. His figure was slim but strongly masculine and graceful. The width of his shoulders was highlighted by the way his wrists were tied. His eyebrows were sharp and thick, and gave him a noble look. He had a pretty mouth and flawless skin. Kai was smitten. He shot the next guy without even considering, too impatient to deal with him, and the pretty boy didn’t flinch as his neighbor dropped to the floor.

“Who is this?”

“This is Oh Sehun. Kai, I know you’re going to want to keep this one but we have to shoot him.”

The boy didn’t even flinch, like he hadn’t even heard Chanyeol.

“He’s the old man’s… boyfriend. For lack of a better word. Concubine? Fuck toy is too callous. They were close. Really close, Kai.”

“How did the old man get his dirty hands on you?” He stepped in close and Sehun had to angle his head back to look up at him.

“Expensive gifts, probably. The old man spent an absurd amount of money on him.”

“Was he good to you?”

The boy’s eyes flickered to the side, leaving Kai’s for the first time. Kai wondered what he was looking for.

The answer came when surprisingly, Junmyeon piped up from down the row. “No. No he wasn’t. It was a very unhealthy relationship.” Kai glanced at him, and found Junmyeon looking very worried. Down the row Byun Baekhyun and Kris Wu also watched with nervous interest.

“But a relationship nonetheless,” Chanyeol cut in. “He’s way too close, Kai. Way too involved with the old man. We’ve shot people in this row for far, far less.”

Kai stepped forward and touched the tip of the pistol to Sehun’s cheek and slid it down to his pretty pink lips, which parted gently when they were met with the warm metal. Kai pressed the gun forward, and Sehun knew just what he wanted and opened his mouth. Kai pushed the barrel of the gun past his pretty lips and over his tongue, and Sehun let out the softest of moans as a blush dusted his cheeks. Kai cocked the pistol. Junmyeon gasped.

“If you shoot him, the deal’s off.”

Chanyeol gave Junmyeon an irritated kick in the chest. Sehun rose up on his heels so he could take more of the barrel into his mouth, eyes still fixed on Kai’s. The whole room watched as he sucked obediently on the barrel of Kai’s gun, eager and shameless, despite how close he was to death. Kai really should shoot him. Screw Junmyeon’s money. Logically it would be fucking stupid to take home the boyfriend of the man he just killed. But the way Sehun looked at him, Kai couldn’t help but at least play with the idea.

He withdrew the gun, which came away glistening from Sehun’s lips with a wet pop, and crouched down in front of him.

“Did you love the old man?”

Sehun shuffled forward on his knees, like he just wanted to be closer. “I did… at first. But its been a while…” His voice was surprisingly high pitched and kind of nasally. Kai thought he would sound good moaning.

“He’s dead.”

“I know.”

“You don’t seem to care.”

“I don’t care about him. I want you.”

Chanyeol nudged Kai with his foot. “Kai, come on. Don’t be stupid.”

Kai ignored him, and down the row Byun Baekhyun hissed for Chanyeol to stop. Sehun tucked his face into Kai’s neck and breathed in, and Kai felt heat spreading out from where they touched. Sehun pressed into him like a happy cat.

“Why do you want me?”

“I just… you feel so… powerful. It turns me on. You’re so beautiful.”

Kai reached up to touch Sehun under the chin, trailing a finger down his long neck, over his chest, down over the smooth toned muscles he could feel under the soft black silk of his shirt, past the v of his hips to brush over his half hard bulge in his pants. Sehun mewled sweetly into Kai’s skin and let his knees open wider.

“Kai, I don’t like how close his teeth are to your neck.”

“Shh, Chanyeol, let me play with him.”

Sehun moaned. “Please, play with me. I want to be yours. I want to be yours so bad it hurts.”

Kai could feel his own dick stirring in interest as Sehun pressed closer, hips twitching against Kai’s fingers.

“You want to be mine, baby? You want to be my princess? I wouldn’t spend as much money on you as the old man did.”

“I don’t care. Please take me. I want to be your princess.”

“Slutty baby. I bet you would let me fuck you on the floor right here in front of all these people if I wanted.” Sehun moaned and ground his hips into Kai’s hand. “I bet you’d hump my leg like a dog until you came.”


He gave Sehun’s crotch one last squeeze before pushing his hand up under his shirt and stroking along his stomach. He felt the soft dips and ridges of abs, the solidness of muscles. He reached up and pet a hand through Sehun’s hair, and Sehun sighed against his neck and edged closer.

“I would take care of you.”

Sehun shivered at the words. “I know you would. The old man would have shot Junmyeon and Baekhyun and Kris and the pathetic crying kid.”

“I should shoot you.”

“Please, please don’t. I know you should, but I want you so badly.”

Kai took the pistol and pressed it to the underside of Sehun’s jaw, and used it to press his head back to look in his face. He looked so pleading, so desperate, eyes fixed on Kai’s face with nothing but want. He was painfully beautiful, such a glorious temptation. The room held its breath.

He had to shoot him. There was no way he could justify keeping him after he’d shot so many others for being less close to the old man. If there were any no brainer kills in the group, this one should have been at the top of the list. No one was as personally attached to the old man as Sehun was. No one with greater cause for revenge. Kai’s men would never trust him. Hell, Kai might even have his doubts forever. Kai had gotten where he was by being mercilessly calculating and logical. Business came before everything. He never put himself unnecessarily at risk.

“Shoot him, Kai.”

“I will, Chanyeol. Just gimme a minute.”

Kai felt his heart break a little when the hope bled out of Sehun’s face, and water formed along his lashes. God it was such a shame to kill something so unbelievably beautiful. Pulling the trigger had never been this hard. Maybe just one kiss, to say goodbye.

He leaned forward and captured Sehun’s lips in his own, just a gentle kiss, and Sehun gasped and surged back, slotting their lips together and pressing in. It felt electric. Every push and slide was perfect. So, so good, and Kai couldn’t stop, couldn’t get enough. He felt Sehun’s tongue flicker out against his top lip, and he opened up and let their tongues tangle together. He could hear hushed whispers from the rest of the room. Let them whisper. They better enjoy the show.

Finally, he pulled back and put some space between them. God he was so screwed. Maybe if he gave the gun to Chanyeol and let him do it…

“Please, Kai, please.”

When Sehun whispered his name, the last of Kai’s resolve crumbled. The pistol dropped from Sehun’s head as Kai stood.

“I’m keeping him.”

“What!? Kai, that’s crazy.” Chanyeol grabbed him by the shoulder and tugged him around, and Kai would have punched him in the face or put him on paperwork duty for a year if the other man hadn’t been so justified. It was crazy.

“I know. I’m not going to bother defending myself, but I let you keep your high school boyfriend. You let me have this. That’s final.”

Chanyeol spluttered as Kai turned to address the muttering crowd. Maybe it wasn’t fair to them to put himself at risk like this. This would no doubt be an unpopular decision, but he just couldn’t kill Sehun. The boy could be his greatest treasure.

Junmyeon on the other hand sagged with relief, and he noticed the other spared hostages seemed happy as well. Sehun gazed up at Kai with relief and wonder. Kai reached down to slide his hand over Sehun’s cheek, thumb brushing under his eye, and Sehun’s eyes slipped closed and he nuzzled into Kai’s palm. Kai knew he wouldn’t regret this.

Chapter Text

Sehun never wanted kids. Or at least when he had kids, he wouldn’t take them to Disney World until they were old enough to use a map if they got lost. He had one hand firmly planted on his seven-year-old niece’s shoulder, and his four-year-old nephew sat firmly on his hip. They were stuck in line and mini princess Elsa was still trying to take off. Sehun had just barely been able to grab her fake blond braid the last time she saw some staff member in a pretty dress and tried to run. Turns out grabbing wigs wasn’t a decent way to restrain a person. She’d only come back because she wanted her wig back.

“Nini, I have to put you down.”

“No. My legs hurt.”

“Mine too, Nini. And my back, and my shoulders, and my arms. Do you know why I’m in so much pain, Nini?”

His nephew stuck out his lower lip and buried his face in Sehun’s shoulder.

“It’s because I’ve been carrying you for twenty minutes. We only have to stand in line for,” he checked his watch. “Ten more minutes. Do you think you could do that for me?”

Sulky silence.

“Please Nini—Princess Elsa if you leave you’ll lose your place in line.”

“But you’re here to save my spot!”

“Nope that’s not how it works. I can’t save spots, it’s a rule. If you leave you have to go to the back of the line and I can’t do anything about it.”

She pouted too and attached herself to his leg.

“I don’t want to meet Peter Pan that bad anymore. I want to go ride the teacup ride.”

“There’s a line there too. We’ve been in this line for forty-five minutes already, I am NOT getting out of line now.”

She whined. “But Uncle Sehun, my legs hurt. Why won’t you carry me too?”

“I’m carrying your brother.”

“What about when you put him down?”

“Then I’ll need some time to recover.”

She whined and stamped her feet some more and hung onto his leg. The people in front of them finally moved forward. Sehun tried to follow, but Princess Elsa wouldn’t let go. “I need to move, Princess.”

“You can’t. I froze you.” She made her usual freezing sound effect, and Sehun was going to fucking kill Junmyeon for making him do this while he and his wife went off to make out on the haunted mansion ride.

“We’re going to lose our place in line.” He managed to inch forward, dragging the captured leg behind him like a zombie while she giggled.

“Nini, I’m going to put you down now.” Gentle baby snoring. Fucking Christ. Ten more minutes.

Five minutes later he gave up and gingerly switched Jongin to the other hip. He woke up and grumbled.

“He’s awake! Put him down and pick me up!”

Jongin sniffled. It was three-thirty, dangerously close to the four o’clock meltdown time. “Nini, I really don’t think I can hold you anymore. I’m really really tired.”

More sniffling.

“I’m tired too, Uncle Sehun, please pick me up!”

“Princess Elsa, you are a strong independent young monarch and I know if I can stand here carrying your heavy brother for thirty minutes, you can stand on your own for another five.”

“I’ve been standing on my own for sooooo loooooong.”

“And I’ve been standing on my own plus a four-year-old for even longer. Please do this for me Princess Elsa.”

She stomped her feet and whined some more. “I don’t want to. Can we just leave?”

Sehun took a deep breath. Than another. He could see the door.

“We’re almost there, guys.”

A Disney employee spotted the potential disaster approaching from the front of the line. Sehun was sure he looked like he was about to die.

“Oh my gosh! Is that Princess Elsa?”

Princess Elsa detached herself from Sehun’s leg. “Yes! I’m Princess Elsa!”

Sehun sagged against a wall and hiked Jongin up again as Princess Elsa signed autographs and returned with renewed vigor.

“Wow, look at that. You have fans.”

Princess Elsa was very pleased. They were the next people to go.

“Can I put you down to meet Peter Pan, Nini? He’s going to think you’re just a baby if I have to hold you the whole time.”

Jongin rubbed his sleepy little eyes and nodded, lip still stuck out and pouty. He definitely still looked like a baby. Sehun gave him a kiss on the head. “I’m very proud of you. I’m going to put you down now.”

Jongin didn’t lock his knees when Sehun set his feet on the floor, and he crumpled to the ground. Sehun was pretty close to his own four o’clock meltdown. A Disney employee was waving them in to meet Peter Pan and Jongin had gone limp on him.

“F—Okay. I’m telling your dad about this later.”

Jongin whimpered and screwed his face up like he was about to cry. Sehun scooped him up and hauled him onto Peter Pan’s magic patio.

Princess Elsa squealed with joy and ran towards a short-ish man dressed in green tights. Peter Pan got down to greet her and gave her a tight hug. Nini leaned out of Sehun’s arms and nearly fell on his head. Sehun fought back another swear and set him on the ground, and this time the baby locked his knees and run clumsily to join his sister.

“Whoa, you guys have a lot of energy. That’s great. You two didn’t bring any pesky parents, did you?”

“We brought our Uncle Sehun!”

“Well he doesn’t sound so bad.”

Princess Elsa moved aside and pointed at Sehun, who was in the middle of reveling in the feeling of standing straight again. Sehun locked eyes with Peter Pan and froze. Holy fuck. He was cute. Sehun’s breath got caught in his throat as Peter Pan’s pretty mouth dropped open a little and his eyes traced up and down Sehun’s body. Sehun felt his cheeks heat up. Peter Pan seemed to have forgotten his lines.

Princess Elsa giggled. “Isn’t Uncle Sehun handsome?”

Peter Pan swallowed and blushed a little too. “Yeah, he is.” His voice was deeper than Sehun expected, even though he was petite and pretty. He kept on with his happy Peter Pan routine and Sehun watched. His wasn’t wearing a wig like most of the characters, since his very soft-looking hair was dyed the right color anyway. He was cute and boyish, pretty even, about a head shorter than Sehun with sharp, delicate features, and he had the prettiest smile. He kept glancing at Sehun, and Sehun never took his eyes off him.

“You guys would fit right in at Neverland!”

“Yeah! Nini especially! He’s a little bear.”

Peter Pan laughed and poked Jongin’s pudgy little cheeks with thin, graceful fingers that Sehun kind of wanted to suck on. “He is, isn’t he?” Jongin giggled adorably and hid his face in Peter Pan’s shoulder. Sehun smiled. Peter Pan glanced up at him again.

Princess Elsa was onto them. She looked back and forth between them, and Sehun knew trouble was coming.

“Peter Pan, would you give me a kiss?” She tapped her cheek.

“Of course.”

He gave her an adorable peck on the cheek while the photographer snapped pictures.

“I want to give you one, too!” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek too. “Now Nini.”

Peter Pan gave Jongin a peck on the top of the head but Jongin was too shy to kiss back.

Princess Elsa grabbed Sehun’s hand and hauled him closer. “Now Uncle Sehun!”

That devious little witch. Sehun was going to buy her ice cream later. Peter Pan looked up at him with an expression that said ‘oh shit’ and was very much not in character. He probably could very easily have made an ‘I don’t kiss grown-ups’ kind of excuse, but instead he got up on his toes and kissed Sehun on the cheek. His lips were really soft, and his hand flattened itself across Sehun’s stomach. He didn’t remove it as he pulled away.

The photographer looked like this was the best thing that had happened all day. Sehun slid his hand over the green fabric of Peter Pan’s slender waist and kissed him lingeringly, high on his cheek bone right under his eye. He wanted to slide his lips along Peter’s pretty jawline and press his lips into every inch of smooth, flawless skin he could reach, but he suspected even Nini might find that kind of weird. Peter Pan’s pretty fingers pushed into his abs. He flexed. Peter’s breath caught. Sehun pulled away slowly and raised his eyebrows at Peter, who smiled, eyes twinkling with mischief that Sehun suspected had nothing to do with the character he was playing.

“No, not like that!”

Both boys looked down at Princess Elsa, surprised. She was holding Nini’s shoulders, who looked very wide-eyed, and watching intently from a few feet away. The photographer grinned and readied his camera.

“You guys are both adults!” She said. Peter Pan spluttered indignantly. “You have to do an adult kiss!” Sehun’s mouth dropped open. “Like mom and dad!”

Peter was really really cute when he was surprised and not sure what to do. Sehun was going to buy Princess Elsa ice cream and limited edition Disney jewelry later. He wrapped his arms around Peters waist and pressed their lips together.

Peter Pan had soft lips and a deep, heady moan that went right to Sehun’s dick. Sehun knew he was good at kissing. He pulled out all the stops and swept his tongue across Peter’s lips, and Peter opened his mouth and let Sehun lick inside. Sehun was pleasantly surprised when the boy slid a hand around the back of his neck, fingers twisting in his hair, and pushed back with just as much nerve. Princess Elsa clapped and squealed. Nini said “Ew!” in his sweet little voice, and the photographer snapped pictures furiously.

Sehun could have kissed him all day. He fit perfectly in Sehun’s arms, and he was more aggressive than he looked. Sehun liked that in a man. He pulled Peter’s body even closer with both arms tight around him and sucked hungrily on Peter’s tongue as Peter gripped his shoulder and pulled his hair. Unfortunately, the Disney employee letting in guests had other ideas.

“Um, Peter.” She sounded very amused. “There’s a line.”

Peter pulled away with blown eyes and red lips. “Right. Um.” Sehun licked his lips and Peter watched closely and forgot what he was doing for a moment. “Uh. Let me give you guys autographs before you go.” He grabbed a sharpie from the photographer and signed both children’s notebooks, and then looked expectantly at Sehun, who presented his arm. Peter didn’t write his usual signature. He wrote a number and the name ‘Baekhyun’ on the inside of Sehun’s wrist, then he got up on his toes to whisper in Sehun’s ear.

“I’ll see you later, Sehun,” he murmured.

“Yes, you will.”

Sehun let the photographer scan his magic band, because there was no way he wasn’t buying those pictures, and then he picked up his wide-eyed nephew and grabbed his squealing niece by the hand. “What do we say to Peter, guys?”

“Thank you!” Princess Elsa yelled, and Nini muttered something and waved. Peter laughed and gave them a jaunty wave back, and Sehun forcibly pulled Princess Elsa out of the room.

The children’s parents were waiting for them just outside, looking like they’d had a wonderful time while Sehun was suffering in line.

“Did you guys have fun?”

“Uncle Sehun kissed Peter Pan!”

“Aw that’s cute.”

Sehun shoved Nini back into Junmyeon’s arms. “I don’t think you understand. I just made out with Peter Pan.”


Sehun picked up Princess Elsa and spun her in a circle while both her parents burst into hysterical laughter. “I owe you so much ice cream, princess. At the end of the day I’m going to buy you something really nice from the sparkly store.”


“You’ve got a little lipstick there Sehun.” His brother went for his face with a wet thumb as if Sehun was one of his messy kids and not a grown man. Sehun dodged out of the way.

“I am never ever doing that again. You guys are lucky your daughter is such a good wing woman or you would be dealing with three four-o’clock meltdowns and not just one.”

Right on cue Nini started crying. Sehun led his niece away to a nearby bench and let her parents deal with the little crying bear. It felt so good to sit down, even with a wiggly Princess on his lap.

“I can’t believe you kissed Peter Pan!”

“Me neither, Princess. Me neither.” He pulled out his phone and saved the number on his arm before it got the chance to rub off. “And I think you got a special pass to meet him again later.”

She giggled with delight as he typed ‘Baekhyun’ into his phone.

Chapter Text

“Can I touch your butt?”

Sehun looked up at Jongin in surprise. The other boy was spread out next to him on the hotel bed, looking as sleepy and sweet as a Nini could look, and Sehun had always had a soft spot for sleepy Nini.

“Okay.” At least he asked. Unlike some people (Baekhyun hyung). He went back to his phone as Jongin shuffled closer.

Sehun hadn’t really been sure what Jongin had meant by ‘touch your butt,’ but apparently he meant slow, thoughtful rubbing. Jongin pressed a hand gently to Sehun’s left cheek and gave it a little squeeze, then slid it across to the other side and did the same. Then he slowly pet up and down from the small of Sehun’s back to the top of his thigh, as if he was trying to memorize the exact shape of the curve. Sehun felt the start of a flush rise in his cheeks. He’d kind of expected Jongin to poke it a bit, or just one squeeze and a few pats or something, maybe even a rub if he was feeling daring. He definitely hadn’t been expecting a full, thorough, physical examination. Jongin pet back and forth between his cheeks.

“It’s so soft.” Jongin pressed in with his fingers and kneaded slowly. “No wonder Baekhyun hyung likes it so much.”


Jongin curled in closer with his head resting on Sehun’s back and pushed into Sehun’s butt like a happy cat with a plushy pillow.

“Does it feel good?”

“It does actually.” It felt like a nice massage, just a little weirder. There was a warm tension gathering between Sehun’s legs. “Maybe a little too good.”

Jongin giggled but didn’t stop. Maybe he didn’t understand what Sehun meant by ‘too good.’ He pressed the loose fabric of Sehun’s sweatpants into the crease of his ass, probably to see the shape better, then let his hand drift from cheek to cheek while his fingers dipped into the crevice with every pass. Even Baekhyun hyung had never done anything that intimate. Cheek biting was one thing. Butt crack fondling was a whole new level of friendly touching. Sehun realized the screen of his phone had gone dark and turned it on again.

It was hard to focus on Instagram with Jongin testing how far his butt would squish in any given direction. Part of that focus was spent resisting the urge to spread his thighs a little and press up into Jongin’s hand. It really did feel nice. Jongin probably wouldn’t judge him if he had to go jerk off after this. Or maybe he would. It might be weird. Sleepy Jongin had some weird ideas sometimes, and Sehun wasn’t really sure what his end game was.

Jongin patted each cheek gently, and the pressed in and let it go, like he was watching Sehun’s butt bounce back into place. He rubbed heavily up and down the crease with his whole hand. Sehun’s phone went dark again.

For a while Jongin continued to knead and press and rub, which wasn’t too weird, so Sehun opened Instagram back up and scrolled down Chanyeol’s account. It was hard to get turned on when he was looking at Chanyeol’s stupidly cheerful face. He had just managed to get back in his Instagram groove when Jongin tucked just his fingertips under the waistband of Sehun’s sweatpants.

“May I?”

Heat prickled in Sehun’s cheeks. What the hell were they doing? “O-okay.”

Jongin’s hand pushed into his pants and down over the swell of his ass. Warm fingers on bare skin. Jongin pushed in his fingertips and rubbed heavily over one cheek, then the other, then trailed very gently up and down between his cheeks. Then he rubbed his hand in wide circles like he was rubbing someone’s back, and Sehun put his phone down and settled his chin on his arms. This wasn’t ending anytime soon. Not even Chanyeol’s face could save him now. Might as well chill out and enjoy it.

And he was definitely enjoying it. He could feel his dick swelling slowly where it was pinned against his thigh. Jongin’s head rested heavy on his back, and his hand worked steadily at Sehun’s ass.

“This is fun. It’s like a stress ball.”

God damn it, Sehun really hoped he wasn’t the only one who thought this was kind of sexual. There was a blush stuck on his cheeks, and he was half way to hard already.

“Oh yeah? Are you going to do this when you get stressed from now on?”

“You know, I might.”

Why the fuck did he suggest that? Jongin got stressed a lot, especially before concerts. He couldn’t have Jongin doing this to him before concerts. He’d been hard on stage before. It was miserable.

“Why do you have such an awesome ass? I’m jealous.”

“Just lucky I guess.”

Jongin hummed and pushed his hand down the middle of Sehun’s ass with his middle finger pressing between his cheeks, the other’s splayed on either swell, and Sehun bit his lip to keep from moaning. God, this was bad. If Jongin really wasn’t trying to be sexual, he’d be able to tell where Sehun was, arousal-wise, pretty soon. The tips of Jongin’s fingers grazed over his perineum. Sehun’s breath hitched, just a little bit, just enough that Jongin could dismiss it if he wanted to.

Instead, Jongin’s tactic abruptly changed. His focus went from Sehun’s cheeks to almost exclusively between them. The fingers dragged up, pushing them apart, and then he kneaded the heel of his palm into the space between. Sehun bit his lip again and willed himself to relax as Jongin kneaded at the insides of his cheeks. His fingers teased sensitive skin that no one had ever touched before.

It still felt good. Definitely too good. Sehun’s hands gripped the blankets even after he’d forced them to relax several times. Jongin’s fingertips were back on his perineum. They pressed and kneaded gently. It might have been an accident. The same hand was busy squeezing the bottom inside curve of Sehun’s left buttocks. Sehun grit his teeth and took a slow breath. Jongin’s thumb slid between his cheeks, pushed deeper and down, and then dragged heavily over Sehun’s hole.

That would have been a good point to say something. Sehun could have shook Jongin’s hand loose and laughed it off, maybe teased him for not paying attention to where his fingers were, but Sehun was too busy trying to figure out why it felt so fucking awesome. He’d never realized the skin around his rim was so sensitive. Jongin’s thumb circled it slowly, very intentionally, and Sehun’s breath hitched again. What the hell did Jongin think he was doing? Was he still just playing or did he want this to go somewhere?

Both their phones dinged. Sehun jumped. Jongin’s hand froze, and Sehun felt him shift around and dig out his phone.

“Oh, its Junmyeon hyung.” His thumb continued to flick absentmindedly over Sehun’s rim. “He says we have an extra hour to sleep tomorrow.” He twisted around to show Sehun the phone, hand clamping down, and his thumb pulled Sehun’s rim open, just a tiny bit. Just enough for the very tip of his finger to slip inside him.

Sehun gasped as blood rushed south. Jongin’s hand squeezed a little harder, his fingertips wiggled against Sehun’s perineum, and his thumb pushed just another fraction of an inch into Sehun’s hole. Sehun felt the barest beginnings of a dry burn.

“hahh… Jongin…”

Jongin dropped the phone.

“Sh-should I stop?”


The thumb pressed deliberately further in, and Sehun winced and clenched down to stop him.

“Ow, Nini, not without lube.”

“Oh, is that how it works? Sorry, I’ve never done this before.”

“Me neither.” Shit, they were really doing this then. Sehun realized with a gulp that he was definitely on the receiving end. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but then again he was the youngest, so if it had to be anyone…

Jongin sat up and removed his thumb from Sehun’s hole. “Can I pull your pants down?”


He lifted his hips so Jongin could shimmy his pants down his thighs, and then he was bare and exposed. Jongin settled on the backs of his thighs and pushed Sehun’s shirt up his back, then grabbed Sehun’s ass cheeks with both hands.

“You’re blushing so hard right now,” he giggled, “I can tell even from here.”

The room did feel a little too warm.

“Even your butt got pinker.” He squeezed hard. Sehun let himself moan. “You’re so pretty, Hunnie. I love your butt.”

Sehun could feel Jongin lean into his arms go full happy cat mode with both hands kneading and pressing into Sehun’s ass. He grabbed both Sehun’s cheeks and pulled them apart hard enough to hurt. His thumbs teased the tender stretched skin of Sehun’s rim, and then he pressed the cheeks back together and began kneading again.

There was no use stopping the little gasps and moans that slipped from between Sehun’s lips, so Sehun let them go. He could feel Jongin’s crotch against the back of his thigh. He wasn’t hard yet, but his dick twitched sometimes when Sehun mewled.

“Did you know your hole is really pink?” He pried open Sehun’s cheeks again and prodded his hole with a finger. “Its actually really cute.” Sehun felt his rim clench and unclench as Jongin poked. He wondered what it would feel like if Jongin pushed it inside. With lube of course. All he knew was that right now he felt empty. Jongin’s finger thrust rhythmically against his entrance without pushing in and it wasn’t enough. He arched his back and whined.

“Fuck, Sehun.” Jongin’s hips bucked against his thigh. He was definitely harder now. Jongin’s dick wasn’t very big, but Sehun had caught glimpses of him when he was hard. The boy grew out to a decently respectable size.

Jongin continued to rut and knead and tease Sehun’s rim, and Sehun buried his face in his arms and took it. He trusted Jongin. If felt good to have the other boy want him like this. His dick was fully hard now. It ached against his thigh as Jongin played with his ass and groaned.

“Sehun can I…” he leaned forward and pressed his crotch up against Sehun’s ass. His hardness pressed between Sehun’s cheeks through Jongin’s shorts.


Jongin shifted up to straddle Sehun’s hips and braced his arms on Sehun’s shoulders. He rocked a few times and groaned. “Feels good, Sehun.”


Jongin set a steady pace. It didn’t feel quite as good as Jongin’s hands, but feeling the way Jongin got himself off on Sehun’s body was enough of a turn on to make up for it. He felt sexy and a little dirty. Jongin was basically just using his body to get off, but Sehun’s dick was more than okay with that.

He tried his best to press back up into Jongin’s crotch and hold himself steady, which got harder as Jongin picked up speed and force. His thighs burned from keeping his butt angled up.



“Can I take my pants off?”

Ooh. Fuck. “Yes.”

He clenched his fists in anticipation as Jongin rolled off him, ripped his pants off in record time, and climbed back on. This time he lay down on top of Sehun and pulled his cheeks apart so he could slot his dick in between.

“Fuck, Sehun, your butt is the best.”

He was hard and throbbing, settled heavily right against Sehun’s hole. Sehun had never touched another member’s dicks before. Now there was one leaking precum between his cheeks. What a fucking day.

Jongin made the first thrust. It was long and deliberate, like one of Jongin’s artificial love cane grinds. Sehun pushed up to meet him again.

“So good.” Jongin’s mouth was pressed between his shoulder blades. His hands gripped Sehun’s hips tightly and pushed his cheeks together around his cock. He thrust again, more roughly this time, and it dragged deliciously along Sehun’s rim.

“Nini, harder.”

“Okay, okay.”

After a couple quick thrusts, Sehun made a prediction: Jongin wouldn’t last long. He was already pretty worked up, and the way he gasped and moaned at every thrust made Sehun think he was close. Sehun was close too, though with minimal stimulation on his dick, cumming seemed unlikely. He really hoped Jongin would help him cum when he was done.

“Hah! Ugh… Sehun, fuck…” Jongin sat up a little and pulled Sehun’s hips off the bed a few inches so he could get more effective leverage, and when Jongin began thrusting, Sehun felt every ounce of power in Jongin’s thick thighs. Precum slicked the way as Jongin thrust hard and desperate against Sehun’s ass. His dick slid roughly over Sehun’s entrance. Sehun imagined what it would be like to have all that power slamming into him. He felt so empty and needy, like he wouldn’t be able to cum at all without something in his ass, even though he’d never put anything in his ass before. His legs ached again.

“Sehun, m’close.”

Sehun reached between his aching legs and tugged on his dick as best he could with limited space and a bad angle. Jongin’s hips stuttered. He would definitely finish first. Sehun’s entrance fluttered around nothing and he whined.

“Fuck, S-Sehun… fuck!”

Jongin pulled back and pressed the head of his dick right up against Sehun’s hole, and Sehun felt hot globs of cum land on his rim. His dick jerked in his hand. Jongin’s hand gripped his ass as he rode out his orgasm, until the last few gooey splashes landed between Sehun’s cheeks. He could feel it dripping down over his balls as Jongin sighed happily and sat back on his heels.

“Jongin, help.”

“Get up on your knees.”

Sehun obediently got up on his knees with his face still smashed in a pillow. It gave him more room to jerk off, but he already knew it wasn’t going to be satisfying. Jongin’s hands smoothed over his ass. One finger caught the cum dripping off his balls and pushed it back towards his hole. It circled his rim a few times, maddeningly slow, and then he set it right at Sehun’s entrance and pushed.

The finger breached his rim and slipped inside with no pain. The cum was just barely slick enough. It didn’t feel at all like what Sehun expected, but all of a sudden he wasn’t empty anymore, and he loved it.

“Fuck. Fuck, Jongin, please, move it.” He pressed back against Jongin’s hand and jerked himself furiously. Jongin wiggled his finger and slid it in and out again. Sehun moaned. “Wiggle it again.”

The finger curled and twisted inside Sehun’s passage. Sehun let his knees slip wider.

Sehun felt an orgasm coming. It was a good one.

“M’close, don’t stop, don’t… Jongin!” The idiot was pulling his finger out. “Jongin, st—Oh!”

Jongin finished sinking two fingers all the way in, and Sehun froze. There was a bit of a stretch. Cum wasn’t ideal lube, but it was enough for the two fucking seconds it would probably take for Sehun to cum. He clenched hard just so he could feel it more. And then Jongin’s fingers wiggled deep, stroked over something, and Sehun saw stars. God that was the best thing he’d ever felt in his life. It took him exactly two more strokes before he wailed and exploded into his hand.

Jongin kept stroking the spot until Sehun twisted away with a whimper. His whole body twitched through the aftershock. He felt weak and shaky all over.

“Ew. I’ll be right back.”

Jongin hopped off the bed and hurried to the bathroom. He came back with a wet washcloth and swabbed over Sehun’s tender backside and the insides of his thighs, and then did the best job he could with the puddle on the comforter.

“It’s kind of weird to have someone wipe my ass for me.”

Jongin giggled. “You’re shaking. Let’s get under the covers.”

“I think I’m just tired.”

“All the more reason.” Jongin pulled the blankets over both of them and pulled Sehun against his chest. “That was awesome.”

“Yeah it was. Can I fuck your butt next time?”

Jongin giggled and nodded. “My butt isn’t as fun as yours though.”

“Your butt is lots of fun.” He reached around to grab Jongin’s skinny ass, and then laughed because neither of them were wearing pants. Jongin pulled Sehun’s head into his chest and nuzzled into his hair.

“We probably shouldn’t tell the others.”

“Probably not.” Junmyeon would have a fucking fit.

“We will do this again though, right?”

Sehun slid a hand down Jongin’s bare thigh. He’d always wanted to do that, just to see how firm it was. It was very firm. Sehun wanted to fuck Jongin’s thighs.

“We’ll definitely do this again. I wonder where we can buy lube without anyone finding out.”

Chapter Text

Chanyeol had lied. When Yeri asked him in truth or dare if he’d had a threesome, Sehun watched Chanyeol open his mouth and say he had when Sehun knew for a fact that the threesome in question had never actually happened. It had almost happened. Chanyeol had been very upset when it didn’t happen, but he was lying to impress Yeri and the fact filled Sehun with so much glee he just couldn’t keep it to himself.

Jongin needed to know. Last time Chanyeol had lied to impress Yeri it was Jongin who’d pointed it out. But Jongin was sitting on the floor, a little too far away for Sehun to reach from where he sat in his chair, too comfy to get up but in desperate need to tell Jongin that the threesome that hadn’t happened would have been the two boys and a girl kind, not the two girls and a boy kind that Chanyeol was claiming the fictitious threesome to have been.

“Yeah, it was, uh… it was fun,” said a carefully casual Chanyeol as he wiggled his eyebrows at a shocked and giggling Yeri while Sehun stretched for Jongin’s shoulder but didn’t quite reach. If Sehun hadn’t been just a little tipsy he would have moved his butt so he could reach Jongin, but his butt was comfy and his head was buzzy so there was no way Sehun was moving. Jongin had to know. If only Sehun could get him to come closer.

“Did they kiss?” Yeri asked, nose wrinkling, and Sehun really had to wonder if Yeri actually believed him or not. She was smart. Jongin was dumb though, he probably believed Chanyeol, but he couldn’t. Not when Chanyeol’s desperate hopeless pursuit of Yeri was so damn funny. Now if only Jongin would just pay attention so Sehun could tell him.

“Yeah, they kissed too. Everybody kissed everybody, it was great.” Chanyeol smirked and nodded and Yeri giggled and Sehun’s stretching fingers were just a few centimeters away from the back of Jongin’s neck. A long stick would have been perfect for the job. Something even TV remote sized. Or a rope. He could imagine throwing a lasso over Jongin’s shoulders and reeling him in.

He had a belt though, that was pretty rope-like. Sehun unfastened his buckle and whipped it out of his belt loops before slipping the end back through to make a lasso shape. Then he stretched forward and carefully dropped the loop over Jongin’s head and pulled.

What was supposed to happen: the buckled would catch in one of the first holes and the loop would fall over Jongin’s shoulders and get his attention but not necessarily anybody else’s.

What happened: the buckled didn’t catch anywhere. It slipped and pulled tight around Jongin’s neck like a dog leash and jerked him backwards with a little gasp, and Yeri and a couple other people looked over at them instead of at Chanyeol, and for some reason all of this seemed like a much better outcome than the one Sehun had expected.

Jongin twisted around looking somewhere between shocked and very confused, but not mad, so Sehun counted it as a win and pulled on the belt to make Jongin come closer. The other boy tipped and nearly fell over.

“Sehun what the fuck?” Joy giggled, totally not paying attention to Chanyeol who was beginning to look nervous, maybe because he remembered by now that Sehun knew the truth.

“Yeah, Sehun,” Jongin muttered with wide eyes as Sehun tugged on the belt, “what the fuck?” But he flopped gracelessly closer anyway.

“Shh, I gotta tell you something.” Sehun pulled hand over hand until Jongin was sitting between his legs with a hand braced on Sehun’s thigh. It wasn’t like Sehun didn’t notice that he was blushing like crazy, or that wide eyed, flustered Jongin was cute as hell. He just had more important things to worry about. “Listen,” He lifted his fist until Jongin had to get up on his knees so that Sehun could jam his lips right up against his ear. “Chanyeol never fucking had a threesome,” he whispered. “He’s totally fucking lying to impress Yeri.”

“Wait, really?” Jongin giggled, fingers digging into Sehun’s legs, until his giggles got cut off by a little gasp when Sehun accidentally yanked on the belt to keep Jongin’s ear where he wanted it.

“He’s talking about a threesome that was supposed to happen last semester but the other guy chickened out.”

“Wait, other guy?” Jongin whispered back with glee.

“Yeah, he’s lying about that too.”

“Oh my god.” Jongin covered his mouth and leaned into Sehun’s shoulder to laugh, while across the room, Chanyeol was giving Sehun a very hard look. “A couple days ago he told Yeri he liked spicy food,” Jongin whispered back and giggled some more. “And she made him eat some.”

Oh my god what?


Fuck it was just so fucking funny because there was no way Yeri didn’t know exactly what was going on. She just wanted to watch Chanyeol suffer for lying and being a dumbass.

“His face got so red but he kept trying to act like he was fine.”

Sehun could just see it. Actually he could see it right now because Chanyeol was still trying to act like he was fine even though he knew Sehun was spilling the tea all over his ass.

“And then,” Jongin giggled, and Sehun couldn’t imagine how this could get any better, “she drank all his water. On ‘accident.’”

Yeri was a genius. Sehun collapsed laughing in Jongin’s shoulder imagining Chanyeol’s poor dumb face as he tried to look like he wasn’t suffering with a mouth full of habenero and no more water.

“S-Sehun, s’a little tight…”

In his mirth Sehun may have forgotten that he was still pulling on the belt, and the harder he laughed the harder he pulled, and the harder he pulled the tighter the belt wrapped around Jongin’s neck.

“Oh right, sorry.” He sat up and gave the leather some slack, but he didn’t miss the way Jongin’s eyes were more dilated and glassy than usual, cheeks still flushed pink. Sehun might have been feeling a little hot in the pants himself. Who wouldn’t, with somebody as hot as Jongin kneeling between their legs with a leash wrapped around his neck.

Jongin slipped the belt back over his head and settled down in front of the chair between Sehun’s legs. A couple people around the circle, especially Yeri and some of the other girls, eyed them closely, and Sehun’s pants warmed a little more when he realized everyone had seen that. Nice. Chanyeol had stopped bragging about his fictitious threesome and looked pretty flustered himself.


“I feel bad for Chanyeol.”

Jongin nodded as they watched Yeri roll her eyes on the other side of the kitchen while Chanyeol bragged about his alcohol tolerance, which both Sehun and Jongin knew from experience wasn’t nearly as impressive as Chanyeol was saying it was. “He hasn’t left her alone for the past hour.”

“So misguided. He’s a nice guy. She might actually like him if he just acted normal and stopped lying to impress her.”

Yeri body blocked Chanyeol from grabbing the bottles out of her hands as she poured herself a drink.

“Let me show you, I can make a perfect dark and stormy.”

“I like my dark and stormy’s the way I make them.” She grumbled as she dumped rum directlu into a half empty two-liter ginger ale bottle and then chopped up an entire lime to stuff piece by piece down the neck.

“She’s way out of his league.”

Jongin nodded in agreement. “Doesn’t she like Jongdae?”

“Yup. Wendy does too.”

“Do you think… they’ll have a threesome?”

Sehun bust into giggles and hid behind Jongin’s back so Chanyeol wouldn’t notice. He gave them both a glare and followed Yeri back into the living room, leaving Jongin and Sehun alone in the kitchen.

There were a number of other soda bottles on the counter with varying fullness, which Jongin began to examine for possible repeats of Yeri’s dark and stormy technique. While he was distracted, Sehun whipped his belt out of the belt loops again and snuck up behind him.

“Ack! Hrhgahg!”

Sehun burst into giggled all over again as he hauled Jongin closer.

“Holy shit what was that for?” Jongin managed to turn around with the same glassy-eyed, flushed look from earlier as Sehun twisted the belt around his hand.

“It was hot before. I wanted to do it again.” When he backed up, Jongin had to follow. When he dropped his fist to his side, Jongin had to bend over and fall to his knees.

“Okay, yeah,” Jongin said with one hand adjusting his improved collar and the other adjusting his pants, “that’s pretty hot.”

“Mmm.” Sehun twisted the belt around a few more times, tugging Jongin closer to his crotch and sweeping his free hand through the kneeling boy’s hair. He loved the way Jongin’s lips fell open and his cheeks burned red while his knees slid further open on the kitchen floor. His eyes were heavy lidded and dark, hands grabbing at Sehun’s thighs. The angle where Sehun held him forced him to arch his back a little.

There was a loud yell from the living room and Jongin whipped around towards the door.

“We should go up to my room.”

“Yeah. I could take this belt off you and spank you with it.”

“Oh, fuck yes. Sehun please.” Living room forgotten, Jongin turned around again and leaned forward to give Sehun crotch a big wet open mouthed kiss right through his pants, right there in the kitchen. Yeri and Wendy both peaked through the door looking thrilled and scandalized respectively. A gentle tug on the belt pulled Jongin’s face away and brought him to his feet.

“You won’t be able to sit tomorrow.”

Jongin winced. “I have a lunch meeting with a professor.”


“Just don’t fuck up my butt too bad. I want to hit yours too.”

“We’ll take turns.”

Jongin giggled and grabbed Sehun’s ass. “Whoever cums first has to bottom?”

Sehun yanked him forward by the leash and smashed their mouths together, tasting vodka and orange soda on Jongin’s plush, eager lips. “You’re on,” he growled, and without giving Jongin a chance to take off the belt, pulled him out of the kitchen and into the living room for the everyone to see.

Everyone barely noticed them because Yeri had her dark and stormy tipped upside down in Chanyeol’s mouth with the group chanting ‘Chug! Chug! Chug!’ around him.

“Chanyeol hates both ginger ale and rum,” Jongin shouted to Sehun over the noise as they hurried up the stairs.

“He really needs to stop lying.”

“Yup.” He gave Sehun’s butt a sharp smack. “Hurry up, we’ve got better shit to do.”

“Yes we do.” He gave the belt another pull, and they tumbled up the stairs together, abandoning Chanyeol to his well-earned fate.

Chapter Text

The beat dropped, and so did Chanyeol, and the small ring of drunk friends around the living room bust into giggles. Jongin’s giggles were distinctly more nervous as Chanyeol rose slowly from his squat with hands dragging clumsily up spidery thighs and thrust his hips back in the direction of Jongin’s chair.

“Hold on,” Jongin yelped, stalling, “how are you supposed to give me a lap dance with that ass?”

Chanyeol whirled around. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You have no ass!” Jongdae yelled helpfully from the right.

“Negative ass!” from the left, even louder, had to be Baekhyun. “It’s concave! Sehun’s ass would fit into yours like a puzzle piece if you were standing back to back!” Definitely Baekhyun. Somewhere behind Chanyeol came Sehun’s weird high pitched hiccupey laughter, complete with a few actual hiccups courtesy of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

The offended fake stripper gasped and flung a hand over his chest. “My ass is fine. You guys suck.”

“When you wear skinny jeans your butt gets wrinkly because the seat of your pants is too loose! Looks like old man ass!”

“Baekhyun shut up!” Chanyeol was grinning though. “Fuck you. Let me give this sexy man a lap dance in peace.” He boldly placed his hands on the back of his head and swiveled his hips in wide, graceless circles as he smoldered until Jongin had to look away, face flaming, body shaking with laughs. Instead he stared at Minseok, who had been covered in Chanyeol’s sister’s makeup since their first round of Truth or Dare. He looked like he had a one black eye and clown lips, but the other eye looked fierce and his cheekbones were poppin.’

“Why aren’t you looking!” Chanyeol grabbed him by the chin and forced his face back around, and then turned and wiggled his non-existent ass right in Jongin’s face. Jongin was somewhere between delight and horror, because there was nothing funnier than Chanyeol trying to be sexy, but being on the receiving end of a lap dance, especially from Chanyeol, was embarrassing.

“Come on, Nini, we know you like it. Open your eyes.”

“You’re still not looking!” Chanyeol’s massive hands grabbed his shoulders and shook, and Jongin’s cheeks hurt from laughing so hard.

“Is anyone timing how long Jongin can keep up the weird nervous giggling?” Asked Jongdae, and Junmyeon pulled out his phone to do some calculations, and Jongin would have tried to stop but just then Chanyeol lowered the flappy seat of his jeans over Jongin’s lap and twitched against Jongin’s legs. The room howled.

“Chanyeol, was he like this when you guys made out?”

Jongin’s face burned. It had only been a matter of time someone brought up the last game of truth or dare when they’d been way too drunk and got dared to go make out. He remembered a dark room and forgetting it was just a dare, writhing and moaning, tongues and hips and hands in hair, no, he definitely hadn’t been like this, all stiff and giggling.

“Nope, when we made out, Jongin attacked me.”

“Shut up!” Jongin squeaked. “I was drunk and horny then.”

“You sure I wasn’t just… too sexy?” Chanyeol slid all the way back in Jongin’s lap and gave him a rough grind, right over the dick, and his full bladder, which would have been a lot to handle if the abrupt motion didn’t also almost knock the chair over. Jongin yelped and flailed for something to grab onto and got Jongdae’s face. He succeeded in not peeing, thank god.

“Fuck. Haha, sorry.” Chanyeol clambered off Jongin’s lap and made sure things were steady. Then he did more dramatic and awful twerking and some awkward body rolls in Jongin’s direction, and all Jongin could do was grip the edge of his chair and think of was how weird it was when they made out that one time, and maybe how Chanyeol was so good at kissing and so bad at dancing sexy.

At that moment Chanyeol decided to go in for the kill and dropped himself down to straddle Jongin’s lap, and his scrawny thighs spread wide around the chair, and—

“OW! Fuck, my fingers!” Jongin managed to yank his hand out from between Chanyeol’s thigh and the edge of the chair. Chanyeol stopped dancing and hugged Jongin around the neck.

“Oh my god I’m sorry,” he cackled into Jongin’s shoulder.

“It’s okay.”

“If Jongin got hard, would Chanyeol even be able to feel it?” Baekhyun muttered. “His dick is tiny.”

There was more scandalized laughing and Jongin tried to aim a kick at Beakhyun and kicked Minseok instead. It wasn’t that small. He was pretty sure smaller dicks existed in the world.

“Is his dick tiny when he gets hard, Chanyeol?” Jongdae asked while Jongin tried to pull his foot away from Minseok’s grip as the other boy wiped lipstick all over his sock.

“What the hell? I don’t know, all we did was kiss.”

Jongin distinctly remembered some very graphic dry-humping. It looked like Chanyeol did too, since his face was a little pinker than before.

“Can we stop now,” he squeaked.

“The song isn’t over. You have to finish the song.”

The second chorus had just ended, so it wouldn’t be too long. Chanyeol climbed off and rubbed his butt on Jongin’s shoulder.

“Jongin, are you hard yet?”

“I think my dick has inverted up into my body.”

“I’d be offended,” Chanyeol muttered, “but I think mine has too. And my thighs hurt.” He collapsed back onto Jongin’s lap and circled his hips slowly. The rest of the room whined in disappointment, and Jongin pursed his lips and prayed for strength because Chanyeol’s hips were pushed right up against his bladder.

By the time the song ended, everyone was more focused on the lipstick smeared all over Jongin’s sock than Chanyeol’s concave butt on Jongin’s lap. Chanyeol climbed off and headed for the kitchen to get a drink, and Jongin let the heat slowly dissipate from his face.

An immediate rush for the bathroom would have made it look like he was trying to get rid of an erection, so he forced himself to spread his legs and casually show that he didn’t have one, and then close them again when some people actually looked, and then waited until everyone was comparing the record number of times they’d masturbated in a day before he slunk off to pee.

Before he could close the bathroom door, a hand caught it and Chanyeol slipped in after him with one last glance down the hallway, and then shut the door and turned to Jongin with wide eyes.

“Chanyeol what—“

Chanyeol grabbed his face and kissed him. It probably should have been familiar, but they had both been so drunk last time, and this time Chanyeol’s fingers shook against his cheeks. Jongin’s head spun with confusion. He didn’t know what to do.

So he kissed back, carefully, because doing anything else might hurt Chanyeol’s feelings, and besides, he’d enjoyed it last time, so why not? Chanyeol pressed their lips together and slid a hand into Jongin’s hair. He was so gentle. Much different than the wild face sucking of last time, but just as nice. Jongin found himself hoping it wouldn’t stop. Even though he really had to pee, and the situation was kind of weird, he could hold out for another few moments of Chanyeol’s sweet, soft kisses. One of his own hands found its way to Chanyeol’s elbow.

Somebody shouted from the living room. Chanyeol pulled away.

“S-sorry, I, uh, just… really wanted to do that for some reason. Um. Yeah, sorry. I got it out of my system now. I hope that’s okay?”

Jongin shrugged and reached up to touch his lips. “You’re a really good kisser.”

Chanyeol relaxed a little. “So are you. I’m not, like, confessing or anything, I guess I just had fun last time…”

“U-um… me too. You wanna… do this again sometime? When there aren’t a bunch of dudes in the house ready to roast us if they catch us? And I don’t have to pee?”

Chanyeol’s shoulders slumped with relief and he smiled his usual bright smile. Jongin stared at his lips. “Yeah! I was really worried you were going to freak out and slap me or something. Yeah, I’ll text you later. Um. I’m going to get back.”

“Okay. See you.”

The door shut behind Chanyeol and Jongin fished his dick out of his pants to pee, and found that Chanyeol had finally managed to get it just a little bit hard. Jongin licked his tingling lips and grinned.