Draco knew it was going to be a long day from the very beginning. He had just sat down at his desk and mentally groaned at the large tower of paperwork to the left of his mailbox. He reached over to a case file and heard something hit the floor on the other side of his desk. He stood up carefully and waited patiently for something to happen. It wasn't just luck that Draco Malfoy had lived through the past eight years unharmed. No, he constantly reminded himself of Snape's teachings, alongside the paranoia that he had garnered from the lessons. To this day he still sniffed and eyed his tea before drinking its contents.
As Draco stood in the middle of his office contemplating drugged tea, he realized nothing had happened beyond the initial thump. The blond man peered around the edge of his desk and saw a tiny box wrapped in red ribbon on the floor. It was coy enough, but Draco withdrew his wand slowly and levitated the curious item. After checking it over slowly, the resulting box held no note nor any indication as to what was inside. With a flick of his wrist, the ribbon came undone and the lid of the box slowly rose.
Draco was perplexed for what was inside was a bundle of candied conversation hearts. He found it odd, seeing as Valentine's Day had been nearly a week ago. Draco set the box down on his desk and shook the box slightly to see the hearts better.
He nearly dropped the box when he was finally able to read the messages in-scripted on the dozen or so hearts. Each heart beheld a leud saying, such as "BTTM4U", or "ISOBTTM", "DADY4HIRE", "UNCUT", "PNP", "I SUCK", "STR8ACTR", "TOPONLY", "HRD4U", "I<3COK". Initially, Draco was appalled, but he found himself chuckling as the sayings became more crude and ludicrous as he read on. One even proudly declared "8-INCHES", which quickly received an arched eyebrow from the blond.
After shaking around the ten or so on top, he couldn't make out the few at the bottom, so he began picking them out one by one. Finally he came to the last remaining on the bottom where the amusing sayings had decreased. Instead they were replaced with, "MYHOUSE", "AT 8", "HP".
Draco sat there thumbing the HP, trying to decipher what it meant. Clearly it was someone's initials, but Draco shuddered to think of who it could be. There was a Henry Pragg down the hall. Draco shook his head at the thought of the disgusting man, whom he was positive didn't bathe regularly. Then Draco realized there was still a tiny green heart at the bottom. He turned it over and grinned at the lightning shaped bolt decorating the heart.
He stood up straight, popped the little heart in his mouth, and wondered whether or not the 8-inches was an embellishment or not.