Whenever he looked up and the sky was all blue, he had to smile.
Pale blue, almost transparent and with a feeling of eternity.
"Sechi, what is your favourite color?"
It was the answer he got back then...
Not that it was a secret. Every survey featured the question and his answer was always the same.
"Sechi, what is precious to you?"
People asking stupid questions like this.
Under the pale blue sky he was reaching out for the younger.
"It's cold this season, isn't it?"
He expected to get shoved off, pulling the other into a hug. But nothing happened.
Just for a second, faint and surreal, their faces came closer.
When it's cold outside, the breath of another person feels warm and desireable.
"Eww, don't act like this!"
Nothing did happen that day. Right? Nothing.
"It doesn't work when the soundmaster is in thoughts!"
"Sechi suggested to add a bridge after second verse..."
"I suggested to add C major chords to brighten up inbetween..."
Suddenly Toki was pulled out of his thoughts. When confronted with work, he usually got pulled back into reality quite fast... and remarks about adding random major chords to a song he wrote sure were an impact. "You can't add C major in there! How would that fit with the other chords?"
"I figured out a way. Didn't you listen to me even once today?"
Sechi blew up his cheeks to show he was pouting.
After rehearsals they went to the station together. For Sechi it wasn't special to dawdle around, and this day Toki kept waiting for him.
He pointed up to the sky. "Pale blue, almost transparent..."
"You said that, the other day."
"Why did you remember this nonsense?"
Instead of an answer, Toki pulled the younger into his arms.
"You know... I had to think about this all week long. Doesn't your color have a cold feeling?"
Idiot. A mere whisper or maybe just two syllables of warm breath. "Idiot!"
When it is cold...
...Sechi wants to go home quickly (´・ω・`)
It's always annoying to get stopped on your way.
An old guy, today
Told me about how the blue sky
Would be cold.
Of course it is.
So what?! (￣口￣；)
Don't you wish for some warmth, facing the cold?
Toki took out his cellphone to answer the blog entry, but then dropped it again.
Maybe he was wrong. Wasn't it just himself wishing?
He felt lonely in his room. Of course there were band rehearsals. And recently he even jobbed a bit.
But noone would ever visit him. Noone came over to play, to talk.
All he had were the minutes he was alone with his bandmates.
Minutes of friendship, of feeling relaxed and having hopes.
He took out his cellphone for a second time. Typing just one word.
The next day, after rehearsals it was Sechi waiting for the other. It puzzled Toki quite a bit.
"You've forgotten to give me a hug today." the younger pouted. This puzzled him even more.
He started to give a response, but the younger simply threw his arms around him, then pushed him away again, grinned and ran to catch the train.
The sky was deep black when Toki went home from his job, neon lights illuminating the streets.
The can of coffee in his hands was shaking, when he searched for his phone.
No new messages.
☆On the way home...☆
I'm having my favourite coffee.
But it's cold, isn't it? I've heard we'll have snow tomorrow.
Tomorrow won't be rehearsals. I hope everyone will spend their time at a warm place *haha*
Don't catch a cold, ne!!
When he woke up again, the sky was not blue anymore. Thick grey clouds covered it, making the city feel small and dirty.
No rehearsals today. Won't have to go out until the evening. He talked to himself in thoughts.
More caffeine. Cigarettes. Slowly waking up.
Just when he switched on his computer and watched the music tools loading, Toki's cellphone rang with a new message.
[Shinjuku, east exit, I need new guitar strings. Sechi.]
"I'm not a dog or something you can call to your side!"
It was useless, the other couldn't hear the complaints.
And then, Toki had left his home within ten minutes.
Knowing, secretly he wanted to meet with the other himself.
"Let's go and have some coffee!" Toki smiled widely, after the important shopping was done.
"I'm here for guitar strings. I need to practise, you know?"
"I came all the way and you want me to leave again after assisting you for only two minutes?"
"I wouldn't say it like this, but... yes."
He stopped and watched the younger walk on. That hurt.
Sechi did not turn around even once.
Toki watched him taking out his cellphone, playing around. And then he vanished in the crowd.
And also, within seconds his own cellphone rang.
[You might come to my place and have your coffee there. (￣口￣；)]
"I still can't believe I've come with you after you've run away in the crowd."
Toki still felt hurt, even when he sat on the younger's comfortable blue bedding, holding a cup of hot chocolate.
"Yeah. You're stupid like that." Sechi giggled, but when he noticed the other didn't find it funny, he quickly added "Let's play Mario Kart, yes?"
"Mario Kart?!" But before Toki could complain any more, he held a game controller in his free hand. Sechi switched on the TV and sat down next to him. "Which character do you want to take? Eh... Donkey Kong I suppose?"
"Actually, I like Koopa."
It felt so random, sitting in Sechi's room, playing video games. But at the same time, it was a lot of fun. Time passed quickly and after several rounds of Mario Kart and Street Fighter all tension went away. "Sechi...! Let me win for once! Tell me some tricks!" Toki leaned against the other. He had won only two of ten games.
"I'm just too good at it, I can't help it." Sechi giggled again. "Let's better stop here and do something you're good at as well, ne?"
"So what do you think I'm good at?!"
The younger didn't respond. He switched off the power of famicon and TV, properly placed away the controllers and then jumped back onto the bed, tackling down his bandmate.
Toki could feel how the other placed his knees to the left and right from his hips. Now, without pushing away the younger, he couldn't move anymore.
What next? He wondered.
Slowly Sechi's face came closer. He visibly put some efford into holding a serious expression.
Just an inch more. Toki could feel his own heart beating faster.
I won't move, come down just one inch more.
Waiting. Then: "I should practise. That's why we went out afterall."
Sechi grinned again, stood up and looked down at Toki, who still didn't even dare to breath. "Wha... practise?"
The younger took his hand and pulled him up from the bed.
What came next was unexpected and happened too fast for Toki to react: Sechi didn't release his hands. Instead he pulled him closer and placed a kiss on his lips. And as quickly as he did this, he also let go again. "Guitar practise."
Last night I had a weird dream.
It confused me so much I couldn't even think a logical thought about it.
Then I woke up and noticed I've fallen asleep on the train...
That explains a lot *haha*
On another note, it didn't snow yet. Seems like it's become a bit warmer, ne.
Two weeks passed, all answers left open.
During rehearsals, both guitarists acted as if nothing had happened.
Sechi tried his best to make Kouta laugh and Toki concentrated on the song arrangements.
After rehearsals Sechi went to the station with Yuu. This wasn't so unusual either, since they lived close to each other.
Toki looked up to the sky. It was pale blue again. It's cold, ne...
As soon as he was alone, every day he felt confused and tired.
He couldn't concentrate on songwriting and when he was at his job, his thoughts would fly off to places far away.
What did he want? Sitting on the blue bed, plushies around. Playing video games.
Was that what he really wanted?
And then, on his way home, he got a cellphone message.
[Tomorrow, after rehearsals. Let's have ramen. (￣口￣；)]
The blue sky...
...is cold, because it's not keeping the warmth under clouds (´・ω・`)
Every day can change it completely.
If the sun is shining a lot
It will become
So you could say
A clear sky means
"Everything is possible"
Tomorrow will be a nice day again.
"Can't you talk to me in person?" Toki asked when everyone else had already left the rehearsal room.
Sechi blushed a little, looked down and grinned. "It's because... you know. You might give a reaction."
"Isn't that a little unfair, not letting me react?" He took out his keys and closed the door.
When they left the studio, the question still wasn't answered. Sechi had only blown up his cheeks.
The nightsky was black. Dark clouds covered the moon and the light from the streets seemed dim and weak.
The silence made them feel uncomfortable, still noone would break it.
30 minutes passed and the ramen were eaten up already, and Toki just couldn't bear it anymore. "Why did you do that?"
"Did do what?" The younger still wouldn't look.
"Asking me out when you don't feel comfortable having me around."
Suddenly Sechi rose his head and stared at him. "I like to have you around!"
"You don't even talk to me." Toki lit a cigarette.
He took out his cellphone, it seemed he was halfway ignoring his friend.
Toki felt a bit angry and also a bit sad about it. Still he took out his own cellphone and opened Sechi's weblog.
As expected, there was an update.
Do you know...
...when there is something
You definitely want to tell
But you can not
Express it in words? (´・ω・`)
If you're really feeling great
So much you want to scream out
But you can not say
"I'm feeling great!"
The younger looked up and watched the other reading his entry.
Suddenly he felt very stupid for using his phone when he could as well have said this.
"Sechi, you're an idiot." Toki took all courage he could and changed seats, so he was next to the younger.
He looked at him with a serious expression, some might have thought of calming, some might have felt pressure from.
He hoped for the former one. "Whatever it is. If you want to tell me something... just tell me. Right here and now."
Sechi stared at him, a bit like in shock, then shook his head and laughed. "You'd hate me."
"I won't!" Now Toki reached out and held his shoulders. "I promise, I won't."
The younger shivered when he felt the strong hands on his shoulders. For a moment he thought about it, then
"Will you give me some time? Some time to think and to learn how I can express myself better?"
When they got up and were on the way out, Sechi spoke up once more. "What I really want to tell you..."
He almost ran into Toki, who had stopped right in front of the entrace, staring up to the sky.
Snow was falling down.
What I really want to tell you
You might not believe it, but
I really like you, more than anyone.
I like to be held in your arms and
All silently, without ending his sentence, he gave him a hug. "See you tomorrow."
Maybe one day I will tell you.
The sky still was dark from the clouds.
Thick flakes of snow came down and the young guitarist vanished into the crowd.
Toki watched him, and then
Sechi, what is precious to you?
Once more praying his hopes would turn out to be true, Toki started running.
"I should be on my way to work." he mumbled when placing a hand on the other's shoulders to stop him.
Sechi made a sound like trying to give a response - or maybe he wasn't even aware of who'd just touched him.
He could not ask. Warm lips touched his own and caught his words.
Maybe I don't need to tell you.