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The Group Chat AU That Nobody Asked For

Chapter Text

- Frank Iero added Mikey Way and Tré Cool to math squad 

 

Tré Cool: frank we’re in the same classroom????

Frank Iero: i needed something to entertain myself

Mikey Way: guys ur making my phone go off really loud

Frank Iero: sorry
actually no im not sorry

Tré Cool: mikey just turn ur phone volume down?

Frank Iero: yea mikey just turn ur phone volume down… dont make me feel bad bc of ur lack of common sense

Mikey Way: wow thanks a lot guys mr davis just threatened to take my phone away all bc of ur silly group chat

Frank Iero: lmao we know we saw him

Tré Cool: mikey!!! just turn ur sound down
if u look at the side of ur phone
u will see a + and a -
and if u press the - button

Frank Iero: how long do we have until lunch

Tré Cool: ur sound will become quieter so mr davis cant hear it
wow thanks for interrupting me frank t(-.-t)

Frank Iero: well tyPE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON THEN TRE OMG
dont send messages
that are all spaced out
like this

Tré Cool: i
will
type
how
i want
to
type

Mikey Way: we have 34 minutes until lunch btw frank

Tré Cool: guys should we add the rest of the squad then it'll be squad squad instead of math squad

Mikey Way: no
gerard billie ray and mike are all in history with miss fuckface and she confiscates phones if they go off

 

- Tré Cool added Billie Joe Armstrong, Gerard Way, Mike Dirnt, and Ray Toro to math squad 

 

Mikey Way: oh u added them anyway
okay

 

- Tré Cool renamed the group squad squad

 

Frank Iero: no tre thats a terrible name

 

- Mikey Way renamed the group no tre thats a terrible name

 

Tré Cool: mikey no u meanie
im gonna change ur nickname

Mikey Way: no tre

 

- Tré Cool changed Mikey Way's nickname to meanie

 

- meanie changed Tré Cool's nickname to no tre

 

meanie: 2 can play at that game

no tre: yes hello id like to file a complaint i dont like my nickname

Frank Iero: i dont even have a nickname 

 

- no tre changed Frank Iero's nickname to i dont even have a nickname

 

i dont even have a nickname: tre no thats too long

no tre: like my dick

meanie: tre ur 14 ur dick isnt that big :/

Billie Joe Armstrong: wtf is going on what is this

i dont even have a nickname: welcome to hell billie boy
ha billie boy

meanie: fraNK NO

no tre: fraNK YES

 

- i dont even have a nickname changed Billie Joe Armstrong's nickname to billie boy

 

no tre: billie why isnt anyone else talking
are we not good enough for them
wheres mike
why hath he betrayed me like so

i dont even have a nickname: trE I TOLD U TO STOP TYPING LIKE THAT
OBEY UR FATHER

no tre: daddy

i dont even have a nickname: im kinKSHAMING

billie boy: they already had their phones confiscated lol i hid mine well tho

meanie: billie is gerard behaving himself

billie boy: yea
well…
he got kicked outta class already once for doing his eyeliner in the front camera of his phone

meanie: its the first day of the year gerard calm urself

billie boy: yea i know i told him to hakuna his tattas

i dont even have a nickname: he doesnt have tattas billie he is male

no tre: did u just asSUME his gENDER?///?

meanie: away foul beast go back to tumblr

 

- billie boy changed no tre's nickname to tumblr boi

 

tumblr boi: equality is not a joke u guys :/

meanie: ha tres a tumblr boi

i dont even have a nickname: this just in: tre cool is a tumblr boi

billie boy: he was a tumblr boi she said see ya later boi

meanie: he wasnt tumblr enough for her

tumblr boi: im calling the police

i dont even have a nickname: ooh kinky ;)

tumblr boi: no frank

 

- billie boy changed i dont even have a nickname's nickname to franklin

 

franklin: thnak u bj

billie boy: ur welcome

meanie: ‘thnak’

tumblr boi: sounds like someone with a lisp saying snack

meanie: speaking of snacks i have cheetos in my bag

tumblr boi: ooh cheetos

franklin: cheerios

tumbr boi: no frank he said cheetos

meanie: omG TrE Sit doWN

billie boy: WHAT HE DOING
TRE BEHAVE
UR DISSAPOINTING UR PARENTS

meanie: *disappointing
he got up and walked across the classroom and went in my bag looking for the cheetos

 

- billie boy changed tumblr boi's nickname to tre sit down

 

franklin: nooooo tre got sent out :(

tre sit down: anyone wanna join me lmao im bored out here alone

meanie: u shoulda thought about that before u went in my bag tre

billie boy: yeah tre he coulda had personal shit in there
he coulda had a condom in there

franklin: tre how do u think mikey would feel if u pulled a condom outta his bag

tre sit down: idk mikey how would u feel??

meanie: id be pretty surprised bc last time I checked there were no condoms in my bag
im 14 sex is illegal for another 4 years

billie boy: see everyone mikeys a good boy u should all take notes from him

tre sit down: shut up billie u lost ur virginity when u were like 12 :/

billie boy: *gasp* i did not
also who told u that ???????

tre sit down: mike did

billie boy: me and michael will be having a talk later..

franklin: tre hold on im coming out

meanie: oh did u finally accept ur sexuality franklin

billie boy: mikey dont be fucking rude being gay is not a bad thing

franklin: oh wow u guys are funny u should do stand up comedy

 

- meanie renamed the group billie and mikeys stand up comdey

 

billie boy: u do realise that gerard ray and mikes phones are all going off in mrs jenkins drawer right?? and theyre really loud

tre sit down: ‘comdey’
and oh my goD billie do i have to say this again
tuRN THEM DOWN

billie boy: yes tre okay ill just go walk up to mrs jenkins desk and open her drawer and turn everyones phones down im sure she wont mind

franklin: dO IT DO IT FOR THE VINE

tre sit down: yass bj do it for the vine

meanie: no billie dont do it for the vine its a trap there is no vine

billie boy: guys
guys im gonna do it

franklin: guys i need something to get me kicked outta class so i can go see tre

meanie: frank there is literally seven minutes until lunch u can see him then

billie boy: climb onto ur desk and take ur shirt off and yell THIS IS FOR MY BOI TRE and then do a backflip onto the floor

tre sit down: yes frank do it do it do it

meanie: frank this is literally our first day of high school pls dont

billie boy: lol guys i got sent out for turning everyones phones down im coming to meet u all where are u

tre sit down: we’re in math
well they are
im outside

billie boy: tre im coming to see u

tre sit down: what was that bang
o hmY GOD FRANK DID IT

meanie: frrANK I CANNOT BelieV
u are grOUNDED YOung mAn WAit unTIL ur fatHER GTES HoemM

billie boy: wow mikey did u have a stroke whats with the random capitals and terrible spelling

franklin: i got sent out :(((
but dat backflip tho

billie boy: o shit waddup

meanie: i dont like u all being out there without me :(
u could be saying mean things about me

franklin: no mikey ur the meanie here

 

- meanie changed franklin's nickname to franklin is an asss

 

- meanie changed billie boy's nickname to comdey partner

 

- meanie changed tre sit down's nickname to naughty 

 

franklin is an asss: ‘asss’

comdey partner: ‘comdey’

meanie: im leaving ur all assholes bye

 

- meanie left billie and mikeys stand up comdey

 

franklin is an asss: no mikey u dont get to leave that easy

 

- franklin is an asss added meanie to billie and mikeys stand up comdey

 

naughty: guys yee the bell just went its lunch
mikey im stealing ur cheetos

meanie: no ur not and also does this mean we can talk like normal people now

comdey partner: yes but only until the end of lunch then its group chat time again

franklin is an asss: no billie its squad chat not group chat

naughty: actually its billie and mikeys stand up comdey

Chapter Text

Ray Toro: what the actual fuck is this

meanie: hello ray welcome to billie and mikeys stand up comdey
i am mikey

comdey partner: adn im am billei
sorery am tuping in a vefry difficcvult positi on

franklin is an asss: sex position

Ray Toro: no frank hes ducking under the desk so the teacher doesnt see his phone

naughty: ducking under the desk to suck his own dick more like

Gerard Way: billie pls sit up ur just drawing more attention to urself

comdey partner: up ssdhut ur aSS GErardfc

meanie: billie what is GErardfc

naughty: gerard fc: a soccer team coached by gerard

meanie: gerard fc: the only soccer team that matters

Gerard Way: guys i dont appreciate u planning my career out for me :/

comdey partner: teacher left i can type like a normal person now

meanie: we need some new nicknames guys

Gerard Way: allow me mikey

 

- Gerard Way changed meanie's nickname to moikeh

 

- Gerard Way changed Ray Toro's nickname to torosaurus

 

- Gerard Way changed comdey partner's nickname to blowjob

 

- Gerard Way changed naughty's nickname to tree

 

- Gerard Way changed franklin is an asss's nickname to fronkeh

 

Gerard Way: beautiful if i do say so myself

moikeh: gerard u need a nickname too

Gerard Way: um no

fronkeh: imma change it

Gerard Way: hush now franklin i am working

 

- fronkeh changed Gerard Way's nickname to geererd

 

geererd: wow frank.. creative

Mike Dirnt: sorry guys i got my phone stuck in my shoe what did i miss

torosaurus: gerard has a soccer team named gerard fc
its pretty sick

blowjob: okay is everyone just gonna ignore that mike got his phone stuck in his shoe??

fronkeh: apparently so

Mike Dirnt: dont judge i dropped it

blowjob: ur a dumbass
love u tho <3

tree: ??

fronkeh: wAit what

moikeh: yea billie.. what

blowjob: oh yeah that reminds me
i have an announcement
me and mike are Gay™ together

Mike Dirnt: u didnt tell them?

blowjob: no i forgot

geererd: okay that was an unexpected but nice bit of news
congrats u guys
use condoms

Mike Dirnt: ty gee but we dont need u to parent us

torosaurus: im done with this class someone save me

tree: and by save u u mean?

torosaurus: i mean come up with a way i can get kicked out
pls
guys
like now

 

- tree changed Mike Dirnt's nickname to miiike

 

miiike: ha thats how billie sounds when we frick frack

fronkeh: ‘frick frack’ mike we’re not 5 u can say fuck

blowjob: wOW thANKS miKE JUST telL TEHm eveRYThiNg

moikeh: billie pls spell correctly

geererd: hold the fuck up u guys i want details
like
are u actually dating
or just fuck buddies

torosaurus: gerard u cant just ASK someone that jfc

miiike: used to be fuck buddies but we’re actualy dating now

blowjob: but we dont go out on dates or anything
cos dats geyyyyyyy

tree: thats fucking homophobic william

blowjob: my name isnt even william?????

torosaurus: dont be rude william

blowjob: fuk u lot im out

 

- blowjob left billie and mikeys stand up comdey

 

geererd: no my beloved come back

miiike: stfu gerard hes my boyfirned get ur own

moikeh: mike what is a ‘boyfirned’

miiike: suck my fucking dick mikey and dont correct my spelling

moikeh: how can i suck ur dick if u have a boyfriend
excuse me sorry I meant boyfirned

geererd: mikey ur 14 u shouldnt be sucking anyones dick

fronkeh: especially not someone who has a boyfirned

 

- miiike left billie and mikeys stand up comdey

 

geererd: no we’re pushing all our frens away :((((((

moikeh: theyve probs gone to do the frick frack in the toilets ;)

 

- tree renamed the group everyones leaving :(

 

fronkeh: o shIT u guys :/

geererd: what???

torosaurus: frank wat did u do now

fronkeh: nothing raymond nothing
its just
i kinda maybe somehow jammed the volume button on my phone??

tree: yea so? ur point?

fronkeh: well with my volume button being jammed i cannot turn my sound down
meaning unless u guys shut the fUCK up i will have my phone taked away

geererd: ‘taked away’ frank what are u 5??

fronkeh: fuk u jurard i meant taken

 

- tree changed geererd's nickname to jurassic

 

torosaurus: tre what

tree: omg no autocorrect changed it
i meant to type jurard

jurassic: tre i do not appreciate being named jurassic or jurard

 

- jurassic changed tree's nickname to dick

 

dick: well i dont appreciate being named dick

jurassic: OKAY WHICH ONE OF U FUCKS IS PLAYING THE JURASSIC PARK THEME RLLY FUCKING LOUD

torosaurus: that would be me

jurassic: ray ur an ass
hA RAY GOT KICKED OUT OF CLASS FUCK U

torosaurus: jokes on u i wanted to get kicked out ha

dick: ooh ray im gonna come find u hold on

moikeh: tre how about u dont

torosaurus: since when is it against school rules to play the jurassic park theme anyway

jurassic: its not
but it is against school rules to stand up on ur seat and point at me and say “i dedicate this sick ass tune to my boi gerard who is now going by the name jurassic”

fronkeh: guys shutt he FUJCKV UPPP

dick: sorry fronk we only speak english here in this english group chat

torosaurus: tbf this strange dialect weve adopted cant really be classed as english…

 

- dick renamed the group FUJCKV

 

jurassic: guys im literally so close to leaving this group idek whats going on anymore

moikeh: frank cant spell and ray uses big words
thats whats going on

jurassic: did anyone else just hear that rlly loud bang

moikeh: frank u better not be backflipping off tables again

fronkeh: mikey ur sitting right next to me u pie

torosaurus: pie

dick: pie, noun: a baked dish of fruit, or meat and vegetables, typically with a top and base of pastry.
“a meat pie”
synonyms: pastry, tart, tartlet, quiche, pasty, patty, turnover

jurassic: no seriously u guys what was that bang

dick: billie just messaged me and told me to add him and mike back because they "have a fun story"
i think its about the bang
im looking to the elders for guidance

moikeh: i will guide u
into a fucking ditch

torosaurus: u have come to us for guidance yes

dick: that is correct

jurassic: what do u need guiding towards young man

dick: am i allowed to add billie and mike back to the chat

torosaurus: hm
i think we need to ask the creator of the chat
frANK

fronkeh: no
they chose to abandon the squad
they are DEAD to me

dick: incorrect answer frankie
u are the weakest link goodbye

 

- dick removed fronkeh from FUJCKV

 

jurassic: tre dont be fucking rude

 

- jurassic removed dick from FUJCKV

 

torosaurus: fucking play nicely

 

- torosaurus removed jurassic from FUJCKV

 

moikeh: fucking SAVAGE raymond

 

- torosaurus removed moikeh from FUJCKV

 

torosaurus: dont fucking swear mikey its rude
... oh shit

 

- torosaurus left FUJCKV

Chapter Text

- Mike Dirnt added Billie Joe Armstrong, Tré Cool, Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, and Ray Toro to you on kazoo

 

Mike Dirnt: okay u guys listen up me and billie have a funny story

Billie Joe Armstrong: but first we have rules to go over 
like bo removibg people from the chat
coughTREcough

Tré Cool: fuk u i do what i want 

 

- Mikey Way changed Gerard Way's nickname to getard

 

- Mikey Way changed Ray Toro's nickname to fro

 

- Mikey Way changed Frank Iero's nickname to frnk

 

- Mikey Way changed Mike Dirnt's nickname to dirnto

 

- Mikey Way changed Billie Joe Armstrong's nickname to legstrong

 

- Mikey Way changed Tré Cool's nickname to coolio

 

- Mikey Way changed their own nickname to mky

 

dirnto: mikey nO 
i have a story

frnk: guess what
no one cares

legstrong: frabk 
hush
listeb

fro: okay guys shut ur ass up i actyally wanna hear the story

getard: that should say "shut ur asses up" bc we all have separate asses to shut 

mky: or maybe we have one collectibve ass 

frnk: too spoopy mkeiy too spoopy 

mky: 'mkeiy'

frnk: shut ur asses up mikey 

getard: incorrect
that should say "shut ur ass up" bc mikey only has one ass to shut 

dirnto: i dont even know whats happening anymore 

fro: basically we all have one collective ass that we share except mikey who has 12 asses all to himself 

legstrong: okAYY SHUYT UR FUCKJIbG WHORE MOUTHSD abd liSTEbv
u all kow that kid brebdob right 

coolio: 'brebdob'

legstrong: i do ot deserve this abuse 

 

- legstrong left you on kazoo

 

- dirnto added legstrong to you on kazoo 

 

dirnto: billie joe armstrong listen here u little shit 
i cannot recount hte story by myself 
stay put and fucking help me

legstrong: its bot a complicated story michael ryab pritchard 

fro: just tell the damn story u lemon flavoured starburst 

mky: ??????

fro: no one likes the lemon ones 

getard: ray are u implying that no one likes billie

dirnto: i like billie 

frnk: ew mike likes lemon starburst
ewwwwwww
ew ew ew

coolio: go and sin someplace else 

 

- coolio removed dirnto from you on kazoo

 

legstrong: what are you doig tre stop it

 

- legstrong added dirnto to you on kazoo

 

dirnto: ty bae <3
anyway
story time

legstrong: so does everyobe kbow the brebdob kid

getard: 'brebdob'
billie are u okay today

legstrong: suck a cock gerard

dirnto: he broke the n key on his phone 

fro: how?? its not even a proper keyboard?

legstrong: lobg story short
my phobe fell out of my pocket wheb i was rubbibg aaway from a rabid dog yesterday

frnk: as u do 

legstrong: so bow i use b to replace it

coolio: wouldnt it make more sense to use m tho?

legstrong: ... mo tre remove urself from my busimess 

dirnto: can we foCUS PLS
so we all know the brendon kid yes

frnk: delinquent brendon who has 0 chill? yes 

mky: no who dat 

getard: -sigh- theres always one
brendon is the forehead boy
u know
the one u pointed at and said "gee look that boy is 50% forehead"

mky: o yes i rememver 
go on mike

dirnto: ty mikey
anyway he was in mine and billies class earlier and we had a test but people kept walking in and out 
and this one guy left the door open every time he left
so brendon got up and yelled HAVENT U PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF CLOSING THE GOD DAMN DOOR 

legstrong: he got kicked out 
it was rlly fummy actually 

 

- getard added Brendon Urie to you on kazoo

 

dirnto: no gerard what are u doing
now he’ll know we talked about him

Brendon Urie: brebdob

legstrong: soz my m key on my phome is brokem
m means m btw
fUCK

mky: with billie m+b means n

 

- coolio changed Brendon Urie's nickname to brebdob

 

fro: tre why 
brendon isnt part of the squad
he shouldnr even be here

 

- frnk renamed the group brendon on kazoo

 

frnk: ur welcome brendon

brebdob: im not rlly sure who any of u are... but its been fun
gOtTA blAS t

 

- brebdob left brendon on kazoo

 

- mky renamed the group #SQUADGOALS

 

fro: well that was exhilarating

Chapter Text

frnk: ANNOUNCEMENT TIME ANNOUNCEMENT TIME 

mky: frank its 4:03 am this better be important 

dirnto: mikey just say 4am ffs is the 3 mins rlly that important 

frnk: mikey have u noticed an addition to ur house 

fro: i stg guys im gonna choke u all

coolio: choke me daddy

legstrong: TRE I AM DISGUSTED
ray is our frIEND
not ur daddy

dirnto: tre need to pray for forigiveness 

mky: u could say he needs to
*put on sunglasses*
pre 
(u guys get it right??)

frnk: wait mikey how do u put sunglasses on 
do u take ur regular glasses off or..?

mky: no u plum i wouldnt be able to see 

dirnto: plum

coolio: plum, noun: an oval fleshy fruit which is purple, reddish, or yellow when ripe and contains a flattish pointed stone.

legstrong: tre do u have to give definitions on every non insulting word that is used as an insult

coolio: i do 

dirnto: miKEY how do u wear sunglasses
do u wear them over ur normal glasses then?

mky: actually mike i dont wear sunglasses i just stick with regular glasses

fro: then why did u put sunglasses on

mky: i dont have to answer ur questions
anyhoo
i am going back to sleep

legstrong: tre needs to pray for forgiveness for his sins first

coolio: k
our daddy who art in ray toros house because ray toro is my daddy 

dirnto: trE NO

fro: i swear 90% of this group chat is just everyone saying "tre no"

frnk: hey asshats i have an announcement so if any of u wanna shut the hecky hoo up that would be gr8

legstrong: 'hecky hoo'

dirnto: profiterole is a sin

mky: 'profiterole' 

coolio: jesus died for ur profiteroles mike 

dirnto: fuck u all my phone corrected profanity to profiterole 

frnk: annOUNCEMENT 
LISTEN
GERARD WHERE ARE U

getard: right next to u frankie 

mky: wait what
frank are u in our house??

frnk: i am

legstrong: 2spooky4me

coolio: 5spooky9me

fro: 17spooky8920987652829me 

dirnto: ray no

frnk: ANYWAY LISTEN UP
YES MIKEY I AM IN UR HOUSE
IN GERARDS BEDROOM
IN GERARDS BED

coolio: wheres gerard then

getard: im also in my bed tre
just give him a second

coolio: o hM yyy GODDDDD
FRERARD IS REAL

mky: i
what
i dont 
whAT

ray: i fucking knew it

legstrong: conGRATS U GAYS

dirnto: tre what is frerard 

coolio: its gerard and franks ship name 
ive been waiting for them to get together for years
since before the war

getard: well now we are together

frnk: we just fucked btw

getard: frANK MY BROTHER IS IN THIS GROUP

mky: ew ew ew

legstrong: well this has been exciting and vaguely disturbing but im going back to sleep now night

coolio: we're probably all gonna be late for school tomorrow now
thanks frank

fro: tell them it was for a good reason

dirnto: yea im sure theyll appreciate us all walking in 3 hours late and sayign "sorry we're late but frank fucking woke everyone up at 4am just to tell us he fucked gerard"

mky: 4:03am actually

dirnto: go and fuck an octopus mikey

legstrong: mike if u tell that excuse to miss mckreedy and she'll say "i knew those bois were gay"

coolio: when did we all decide to replace boy with boi 

mky: there was a formal meeting in which we discussed whehter boy or boi sounded better
boi won

frnk: miss mckreedy knows too much

fro: 987999829272572874spooky2625327369239me

getard: raY NO

Chapter Text

coolio: guys i am actually done with high school

frnk: tre weve been here for like a month

dirnto: tbh im also done with high school
gonna drop out and become a drug dealer

legstrong: same

coolio: #RELATIONSHIPGOALS

getard: all ive done in this class is draw and eat childbirth 

frnk: I AM CONCERNED

getard: I MEANT CHEETOS 
WHAT THE FUCK AUTOMOBILE WHY ARE U LIKE THHSI

legstrong: 'automobile' 

mky: when ur car makes u eat children :/
lms if u agree

getard: omF NO I meANt AUTOCORRECT

dirnto: gerard maybe ur autocorrect is spazzing out bc u keep tYPinG LIkE thISs

fro: what did i miss this time
every time i dont check my messages something happens 

coolio: gerards car forces him to eat human children

frnk: miKEY JUST GOT KICKED OUR OF CLASS 
U GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW FUNNY I FIND THIS

mky: shut up frank i didnt even do anything

coolio: yea sure
if kickingg the back of my chair, tipping ur desk over and throwing a pen at frank is doing 'nothing' 

getard: mieky i am shock

mky: 'mieky'

legstrong: mikey we must be sole mates i just got kicked out of class too

fro: 'sole mates' 

dirnto: billie this is why ur failinng english

legstrong: im nto failig englsih waht

coolio: literally nothing in that sentence is spelled propelry 

frnk: billie wat did u do

legstrong: i kicked my bag over by accident and the milk spilled eveywhre 

coolio: no use crying over spilled milk bj

mky: is no one wondering why he had milk in his bag in the first place

legstrong: for science 

fro: this week on #SQUADGOALS
gerards car forces him to eat human children
and billie has milk in his bag for scientific purposes 

mky: i believe its time we changed the group name
we sound like a bunch of fuckbois

fro: mikey it was u who named the group that anyway

frnk: it would have been fine if we just left it what i named it

getard: frank u named it barndon on kazoo and scared him away

legstrong: 'barndon'

getard: brandon
brendan
foREHEAD BOY

 

- dirnto added brebdon to #SQUADGOALS

 

brebdob: heard u been talking shit

getard: miKE NO
WHY

dirnto: he sits behind me in this class and he saw u butcher the spelling of his name
he demanded i add him in

brebdob: okay brebdob i get
but barndon
really 

fro: once we start letting outsiders in
theyll all want in

mky: itll be chaos

coolio: guyS U KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIzED

getard: what tre what

coolio: ItS OCTOBER
HALLOWEEN
YASSSSSSSSS

brebdob: yeS HALLOWEEN YES

coolio: finaLLTY SOMEONE SHARS MY JOY

brebdob: yesssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssss

fro: gr8 now we have 2 halloween hoes

coolio: guyz can we keep brendon 

dirnto: hes not a dog tre

mky: wow look someone actually spelled forehead boys name right

 

- frnk changed brebdob's nickname to forehead boy

 

- forehead boy changed frnk's nickname to midget boy

 

midget boy: ty brednbon 

forehead boy: brEDNBON WHAT

legstrong: frank u spelled brembsond wrong 

frnk: no billie its bernodn 

fro: coming this year from the cretaors of 50 shades of grey
50 names of brendon urie
starring all time fave such as brebdon and barndon 
and introducing new names such as brednbon, brembsond and bernodn

forehead boy: ...
im not even mad
i would watch the shit out of that

Chapter Text

dirnto: i love having my heart broken :)))

legstrong: choke on a dick mike :)))))))

 

- dirnto removed legstrong from #SQUADGOALS

 

mky: ooh drama

getard: why is it whenever theres drama ur here in 0.2 seconds

mky: i was here anyway
i was about to inform u all that frank got suspended bc he called mr turner a slut
and tre got kicked out of class

midget boy: mikey at least give the full quote

mky: "haha fuck this bullSHIT WHY ARE THERE LETTERS IN MATH i stg im gonna punch someone in a minute fuck this im going on twitter to bitch about- nO MR TURNER I WILL NOT SHUT UP AND PAY ATTENTION TO UR DULL ASS VOICE- anyway mikey do u understand this bc i dont- foR FUCK SAKE MR TURNER WHAT DO U WANT NOW NO IM NOT GONNA BE QUIET NO OMF JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP U BALD HEADED SLUT"

midget boy: mikey what the fuck u remembered it word for word

fro: frANK IM SCREMINFG WHY

midget boy: for the lulz

getard: okay and why did tre get kicked out

coolio: apparenly im not allowed to say"get rekt" when mr turner told frank to leave

forehead boy: im curious whats going on with billie and mike
frank that was fucking hilarious btw i could hear u throwing a bitch fit from my class

 

- coolio renamed the group #SQUADGOALS - billie

 

dirnto: tre this is gonna be #SQUADGOALS - billie and tre in a minute if u dont watch ur attitude

coolio: :(

 

- getard renamed the group rip bj

 

getard: i miss him already :'(

dirnto: geRARD
there will be no speak of cheating dickfucks in this group

fro: dickfuck?

mky: cheating?

forehead boy: what happened

dirnto: brendon ur not part of the squad why are u still here

coolio: i like him he stays

forehead boy: tre like me bc we both like halloween 

midget boy: mike tell us what happened
we're ur friends 
and also nosy asf 

dirnto: billie kissed someone that wasnt me 
like wtf????
why?????????????

fro: o damn
i didnt think bj was like that

dirnto: neitehr did i

 

- midget boy added legstrong to rip bj

 

mky: yas frank fuck it up

forehead boy: ... why do i get the feeling that was a bad move

dirnto: frank i will literally rip ur dick off and stick it to the wall 

coolio: a penis medal for ur service in the war 

legstrong: ohkayy before mike gets his panties in a twist and removes me
I DID NOT KISS ANYONE

 

- dirnto removed legstrong from rip bj

 

dirnto: liES 

 

- coolio removed dirnto from rip bj

 

- coolio added legstrong to rip bj

 

fro: this group is a mess
add me back when shits calmed down

 

- fro left rip bj

 

mky: billie what is ur version of tihs incodent 

midget boy: 'incodent'

mky: frank not now 
billie

legstrong: me and mike got into an argument bc i dont wanna tell my mom about us yet
he said it was bc i dont really love him lol bullshit 
so at lunch i decided to be awkward and sit on a different table and he coulndt find me and he got rlly mad about that

getard: yea he sat with us but he wouldnt say what was up

legstrong: there was this girl called adrienne at the table i was on

coolio: wait
the adrienne u used to date

legstrong: yes tre that is correct

mky: wait wait wait
u got in an argument with ur boyfriend
so u sat with ur ex girlfriend to piss him off

legstrong: no mikey
i sat at a table and she just happened to turn up 
and then mike saw us sitting together and started assuming shit 

getard: lets call michael in and see what he has to say

 

- getard added dirnto to rip bj

 

mky: u know what
i have a better idea

 

- coolio added Adrienne Nesser to rip bj

 

mky: let the fun begin

getard: mikey nO 
NOW UR JUST TRYING TO  CREATE DRAMA

mky: quiet gerard i need it
i am a drama junkie

legstrong: lol bYE

 

- legstrong left rip bj

 

- forehead boy added legstrong to rip bj

 

forehead boy: how about we just sort this out before it escalates 

dirnto: u know what brerdnon
u can fuck a turtle
u have been here for like 1 day and u start taking control

forehead boy: aaaaand were back to misspelling my name

coolio: wait like a normal turtle or a ninja turtle
bc normal turtles are a bit small
wheras ninja turtles are probably quite experienced 

midget boy: tre nO

legstrong: MIKE I DIDNT KISS ANYONE 

dirnto: U WERE SITTING NEXT TO UR EX
WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO  THIKN

legstrong: whats the mtatter dont u trust me

getard: omf i just read 'mtatter' as m'tattas and i pictured a guy in a fedora talking to a pair of boobs

forehead boy: gerard i dont think ur helping much

 

- midget boy renamed the group m'tattas

 

mky: ADRIENNE WHAT DO U HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS 

Adrienne Armstrong: why would u fuck a normal turtle when u can fuck a ninja turtle

mky: thank u for ur contribution 

 

- Adrienne Nesser left m'tattas

 

legstrong: mike i love u more than anything why would i kiss someone else

dirnto: rlly

legstrong: yea rlly i swear i would never cheat on u 

dirnto: and id never cheat on u bj
sorry for throwing a fit

legstrong: sorry for sitting with adrienne 

getard: aw look they made up

dirnto: love u bj

legstrong: love u too mike
no homo

midget boy added fro to m'tattas

midget boy: its okay ray u can come back the gays have made up 

fro: o good did i miss anything else

coolio: mikey added more drama to the preexisting drama, brendons gonna fuck a ninja turtle and gerard fantasises about a man in a fedora speaking to a pair of boobs

fro: oh the usual then

Chapter Text

legstrong sent a photo to m'tattas

legstrong: why does this look like a modern renaissance painting

fro: what even is that where did u get that 

legstrong: tis from the party last night
u know
when we were all shitfaced 

getard: ha HA im not gonna look at that 

forehead boy: tag urself im mikey with his face in a bowl of cereal 

dirnto: im ray laid on the kitchen table with a sock in his mouth 

coolio: im billie doing a headstand in the sink

mky: im frank puking all over himself

midget boy: o dear lord thats embarrassing 

forehead boy: yea it is frank
u barely drank anything yet u projectile vomited all over urslef
i on the other hand didnt puke at all

midget boy: berdon i am 14 
u are 18??
and i am smol

forehead boy: 'berdon'
and im 15 frank
15

 fro: that was wild last night
i think
i cant actually rememember

getard: it says meme in the middle of that word 

coolio: guYS ITS NEALRY HALLOWEEN U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
GETTING DRUNK AND BEING SPOOKY

midget boy: YES IM ALMOST 15 
eXcItEmEnT

mky: im already 15 ha fucker

 

- midget boy removed mky from m'tattas

 

midget boy: can do withuot ur negativity mikey

forehead boy: isnt negativity the christmas plays
u know
with jesus and all that

getard: no bedron thats nativity 

midget boy: i can do without ur nativity too 

forehead boy: BEDRON WHAT

 

- getard changed forehead boy's nickname to bedron 

 

bedron: gerard how woud u like it if i called u garerd or someshit 
or gayrard

getard: nO BRENDON

bedron: funny how u remember how to spell my name now 

midget boy: i dont wanna be the only one with a two word nickname :(

bedron: fine

 

- bedron changed midget boy's nickname to According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on y

 

coolio: uhhh...
i dont know how to react to this

getard: i dont think anyone does tre

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on ybrendon did u just change my nicknme to the bee movie script

bedron: well i tried
it only let me use part of it

dirnto: brendon u did that in like 2 seconds how

bedron: i have the bee movie script saved onto my phone
for reasons

fro: of course u do 

 

- fro added mky to m'tattas

 

dirnto: mikey u missed it

mky: missed what

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on y: look what brendon did to my name mikey look

mky: oHM YG oDD BRDNON whYY

bedron: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

fro changed According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on y's nickname to frnk

 

fro: there 
all better

frnk: ty ray ty

dirnto: did any one else hear that then

mky: hear what

dirnto: he scream  

legstrong: i agree

getard: okay what 
im confused?

frnk: someone screaming 

dirnto: wait..
brendon is that u i hear screaming again?

bedron: ...
peopLE NEED TO LEARN TO CLOSE THE GODDAMN DOORS OKAY

coolio: which door??

bedron: the main doors at the front of the school

fro: BRENDON ITS AN AUTOMATIC DOOR U SAUSAGE

mky: sausage 

coolio: sausage, noun: an item of food in the form of a cylindrical length of minced pork or other meat encased in a skin, typically sold raw to be grilled or fried before eating.

bedron: ty tre

getard: sosage 
quick wheres that picture of jordan ramsey with the sosage 

legstrong: joRDAN RAMSEY IM SCREECHING
gerard its gordan ramsey

mky: billie its gordon ramsey not gordan ramsey

frnk: its leviOsa not levioSA

fro: it staretd out with ppl saying "im laughing" and "im crying" then it went to "im screaming" and now billies taken it to "im screeching" 
when will thr madess end

dirnto: IM HOLLERING

bedron: IM JOGGING

getard: IM HIBERNATING

coolio: IM LACTATING 

frnk: trE NO

fro: damn frank
back at it again with the trE NO

legstrong: guys help i have shirt trapped in my locker???

coolio: okay first of all how
second of all how
and third of all HOW

legstrong: i wanted to see what would happen if i shut my locker with the egde of my shirt inside 

getard: ...
mike remind me why are u with him again

dirnto: dick too bomb

bedron: me, an intellectual: phallic member excessively explosive 

legstrong: oh its explosive alright ;)

fro: omF BILLIE NO

Chapter Text

- getard changed legstrong's nickname to billy

 

getard: fucker

billy: gerard pls

dirnto: i have questions

getard: we were doing a group project
and i trUSTED HIM TO WRITE OUR NAMES ON THE THING
AND HE FUCKING WROTE 'GERALD'
so he can go back to being billie when he learns to spell

 

- billy changed getard's nickname to gerald

 

frnk: gerard u actual piece of fucking lemon
i was in the principals office and my phone went off and now hes taken it away 
its mikey btw

fro: mikey why were u in the prinicpals office

coolio: hA i have absolutely nothing to do with this at all 

gerald: tre what did u do to my brother

coolio: goTTA GO FAST

 

- coolio left m'tattas

 

gerald: mikey what did he do

frnk: well we were reading quietly in english
but it all changed when the fire nation attacked 
frANK NO
sorry frank took his phone back (its mikey again btw)
we were reading quietly in english and tre fucking threw his book at me and when i went to throw it back i accidentally hit the teacher

billy: 'accidentally'

 

- billy changed their own nickname to bja

 

- bja changed gerald's nickname to gee

 

bja: there are we good now

gee: fuck u
but yes

fro: mikey u need to chill
ur gonna be the first one of us to be kicked out 

frnk: i was the first to get suspended 
its frank now btw

dirnto: this is confusing asf im gonna go steal mikeys phone back

bja: im gonna help

gee: guys no dont u dare get suspended or ill flip my shit

bedron: i will also be of assistance 
seeing as ive already been kicked out of my class

fro: the hell did u do this time

bedron: the teachers dont like me being dressed as the spooky scary skeletons guy

bja: ur drESSED AS THE SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS GUY OMF
I CANNOT

dirnto: YES BRENDON GET OVER HERE NOW I GOTTA SEE THIS SHIT

bedron: on my way 

gee: i somehow feel like i should be involved in this
but my parents will literally murder me if i get in too much trouble this year

fro: im staying put i dont want anything to do with ur trouble making 

 

- frnk added coolio to m'tattas

 

coolio: frank no gerards gonna execute me

gee: no tre calm down

frnk: mikey should have his phone back any second now

coolio: how 

fro: billie mike and brendon have gone to steal it back
and brendons dressed as the spooky scary skeleton guy 

coolio: WAIT
THATS BRENDON??????
I SAW HIM EARLIER AND I WAS LIKE WTF

fro: what are we gonna do with him

frnk: ray u sound like an affectionate yet fed up parent talking to their rebellious son

coolio: ray toro is brendons daddy 

fro: trE NO

gee: we should count how many times someone has said trE NO in this group
i feel like its at least 10

coolio: its definitely not that much i am not a bad kid gerard have some faith in me

fro: changing the subject
billie mike and brendon arent talking is that worrying anyone else

gee: worst case scenerino: theyre being yelled at by the prinicpal

frnk: gerard what is a scenerino 

gee: fuk u fronk i couldnt figure out how to spell scenario so i just followed my fingers 

fro: gerard if u follow ur fingers u will end up in franks ass

gee: RAY
NO
OMFG WHY RAY WHY

coolio: whos being told no now ray 

bja: CURRENTLY SITTING IN A COP CAR

frnk: WHAT DID U GUYS DO

bedron: WE GOT CAUGHT SOMEHOW IDK HOW THO WE WERE RLLY SNEAKY SNEAK

dirnto: NO BRENDON U WERE NOT SNEAKY SNEAK
U AND BILLIE KICKED THE PRINCIPALS DOOR IN WHILE SINGING "DONT BE SUSPCIOUS" FROM PARKS AND REC
IN WHAT WORLD IS THAT SNEAKY SNEAK BRENDON 

bja: GUYS HELP WE'RE BEING CHARGED WITH BREAKING AND ENTERING AND CRIMINAL DAMAGE and also theft how 

gee: lol bye u guys are #FUCKED 

dirnto: GR8 IM GOING TO JAIL BC BILLIE AND BRENDON ARE FUCKASSES 

bedron: MIKE IM SORRY 
I DONT WANNA GO TO JAIL
shit we're actually going to jail

frnk: o shit this is getting heated 

fro: im so glad i decided to stay in my class :)

bja: NONONONO THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE

frnk: whAT 

bja: WE HAVE TO GO TO COURT WHAT

dirnto: WE ARE ALSO "SUSPENDED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE" 

gee: I FUCKING TOLD U NOT TO GET SUSPENDED

bja: but u dont care that we're going to jail okay gerard ty

fro: well theres no other option
we al have to get suspended now too

frnk: ray no we dont

coolio: i agree with ray

mky: i also agree

gee: mikey ur back congratulations 

frnk: guys 
no
ive already been suspended once 

coolio: im gonna throw a desk out of the window

fro: TRE NOT YET JFC CALM URSELF
TOMORROW
WE NEED AT LEAST ONE DAY OF PLANNING

gee: ray remind me why tf are we doing this

mky: i agreed without even knowing why 
gerard why are u being difficult 

fro: so we can all take like a week to chill together 
unless billie mike and brendon are in jail of course 

dirnto: HOW TF ARE WE GETTING CHARGED WITH THEFT WE GAVE MIKEY HIS PHONE BACK

mky: ty mike btw 

dirnto: oh ur welcome 

bja: i donT WANNA GO TO JAIL FUCK

bedron: NEITHER DO I BJ NEITHER DO I 

gee: well u fuckasses shOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE U BROKE INTO A LOCKED OFFICE AND STOLE A PHONE

dirnto: WE DIDNT STEAL IT
WE RECOVERED IT

 

- bja renamed the group dont be suspicious 

 

bedron: nice bj nice

dirnto: billie we're going to jail can u not 

bja: i can

Chapter Text

- fro renamed the group operation get suspended 

 

fro: its go time bois

gee: ray this is literally the worst idea ive ever heard
even worse than mikeys jumping off the roof with pillowcases as parachutes idea

mky: gerard that was 10 years ago

gee: mikey it was last week 

bja: wait so u guys are literally gonna get purposely suspended

fro: yas

gee: im not

frnk: we are 

bja: guys srsly theres no point we wont be able to hang out much anyway
well i wont

frnk: ooh why

bja: oh idk frank maybe it has something to do with me being unDER HORSE ARREST

coolio: 'horse arrest'

fro: when ur horse decides to have u arrested lms if u agree

bja: hahaha 
no but serously im under house arrest

gee: what why

dirnto: gerard idk if u remember or not but yesterday he kicked a door in and stole a phone
(i still dont get how its classed as stealing btw)

mky: gUYS
ARE WE DOING THIS OR NOT
BC I AM ACTUALLY DONE WITH MATH RN

gee: mikey nO

 

- gee renamed the group operation stay in school

 

- coolio renamed the group operation shut the fuck up gerard

 

- gee renamed the group operation suck my dick tre

 

- frnk renamed the group operation nobodys sucking gerards dick except me

 

- fro renamed the group caN WE FOCUS PLS

 

fro: cmon gerard 

dirnto: yea gerard 

gee: no fuk off

bedron: hi u guys
prison life sucks btw

dirnto: brendon dont exaggerate we were in the police station for like an hour :/

bedron: u and billie were there for like an hour
i was there for fucking centuries

frnk: wait so whats going on with u guys
like whats the deal with ur punishments 

dirnto: im pretty much getting let off bc i didnt actually do anything 
like i didnt kick a door in 
billie and brendon on the other hand...

bedron: we're basically getting fined for criminal damage and we're allowed back at school next week
and we're both under house arrest for fuck knows how long
alSO IM BEING CHARGED WITH THEFT ALTHOUGH IDK HOW 
AND I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS ACTUALLY ARRESTED LIKE MUGSHOT AND FINGERPRINTS 

dirnto: bc u were the one with the phone in ur pocket u egg
and u did the most damage to tthe door

gee: egg

coolio: egg, noun: an oval or round object laid by a female bird, reptile, fish, or invertebrate, usually containing a developing embryo. The eggs of birds are enclosed in a chalky shell, while those of reptiles are in a leathery membrane.

bja: this actually sucks i miss school

frnk: o shIT THIS MUST BE BAD IF BILLIE MISSES SCHOOL

 

- coolio renamed the group prison club

 

- mky renamed the group brendon is the new black

 

fro: CAN 
WE
FOCUS
PLS

frnk: o right yea we're supposed to be getting suspended

gee: guys count me in i just got yelled at for wearing eyeliner im done with this place

mky: yassss

coolio: we should work out what we're doing

bja: guys this isnt rlly a good idea tbh

bedron: billie we're in no position to be telling people how bad their ideas are
we literally kicked a door down while singing "dont be suspicious" as loud as we could

bja: tru tru

coolio: whatevs bj
im throwing a desk out of the window wbu

fro: idk yet

frnk: im just gonna yell at mr turner again
i dont liek him

mky: hm...
i could either set fire to the science lab
or set fire to the principals car

fro: mikey we're getting suspended not getting arrested for arson

bedron: shh ray me and mikey will start a prison club

gee: ooh we should all throw our desks out of the window at exavtly the same time
itll be like synchronised swimming

bja: in what world is throwing desks out of windows the same as synchronised swimming

frnk: synchronised desk throwing 
WAIT
that actually a good idea lets do it

mky: ooh yes

fro: YES DESK THROWING IT IS

gee: OKAY IN EXACTLY FIVE MINUTES WE WILL ALL THROW OUR DESKS OUT OF THE WINDOWS

bja: record it so i can watch

bedron: i alwys miss the good stuff :-(

fro: FOUR MINUTES

dirnto: fuck this im going over there to watch

bja: mikE NO UR NOT ALLOWED ON SCHOOL PROPERTY 

frnk: THREE MINUTES

bedron: wow this is getting exciting

coolio: TWO MINUTES

mky: fuk u tre i wanted to say two minutes

coolio: mikey u can say 1 minute

mky: ooh okie
ONE MINUTE

fro: gO

bja: i fucking heard the bangs from my house wtf

dirnto: that was beautiful :')

bedron: why arent they talking tho
bet theyve all been arrested smh

gee: bitCH U THOUGHT

fro: OPERATION GET SUSPENDED WAS A SUCCESS U GUYS 

bja: fuk da police imma just go out anyway

bedron: same

bja: fuck the police coming straight from the underground

dirnto: straight from the closet more like

bja: i feEL ATTACKED 

Chapter Text

gee: sleepover at my house tonight fuckers
be there or be square

bedron: what does that even mean

gee: if ur not there u will be square bc ur not a-round

mky: gerard i told u not to ever say that again 

dirnto: haviGN A CRISIS

frnk: I DROPPED MY PHONE DWN THE STAIRS AND IT SMASHED

dirnto: thats gr8 frank but 
IM HAVING A CRISIS

fro: o shit waddup mike

dirnto: I GOT MY HAIR CUT
THE INCOMPETENT FOOL MASQUERADING AS A HAIRDRESSER HAS PRETTY MUCH SCALPED ME

bja: mike u look fine
literally all she did was cut off like 2cm more than he asked for

dirnto: but i look bald now

coolio: question

frnk: shoot

coolio: no i meant for gerard

gee: shoot

coolio: will there be alcohol available at the sleepover

gee: duh tre im not a fucking melon 

mky: ???

 

- fro renamed the group gerards a fucking lemon

 

- fro changed gee's nickname to a fucking lemon

 

a fucking lemon: ray i said melon not lemon can u not read 

fro: no

bedron: lemon club

frnk: ooh

 

- frnk renamed the group lemon club

 

coolio: what is lemon club and can i join

frnk: u need at least 12 lemon to join

coolio: o i only have 11

frnk: its k i have spare lemon

a fucking lemon: guys stop i dont want my sleepover to turn into a fucking lemon party

 

- a fucking lemon changed their own nickname to gee

 

- fro renamed the group lemon party

 

fro: price of admission is 12 lemon
if ur short u can borrow or buy lemon
no entry if u don not have 12 lemon

mky: no ray i have 0 lemon 

fro: mikey ur gonna be there anyway u live there

bedron: can i invite a friend

gee: brendon no this is squad only
ur lucky to even be invited 

bedron: pls gerard its one person

dirnto: who is this mystery friend

bedron: u guys know a guy called dallon???

fro: no

mky: no

coolio: no

bja: no

gee: absOLUTELY FUckING NOT
DALLON WEEKES IS NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE
no sir

bedron: u know him????

gee: YES HES IN LIKE ALL OF MY CLASSES 

bedron: o good
so he can come then

gee: nO

bedron: wHY I LIKE HIM

gee: I DONT
hes so,,, long
its weird

bedron: lets see what the man himself has to say

 

- bedron added Dallon Weekes to lemon party

 

gee: breNDON NO

frnk: WAIT
the too tall dude is called dallon?

bedron: yes

frnk: oh shit ive been calling him darren this whole time lmao rip

bja: THATS WHAT U WERE GOING ON ABOUT

dirnto: ???

bja: he was bitching to me about some guy called darren being too tall and i was like what??? theres literally no one in this school called darren???

Dallon Weekes: im not "too tall" what
and h o w did u thnk i was called darren?

bedron: theyre all dumb as fuck
they misspelled brendon like 200 times and thats a normal name

Dallon Weekes: dallon isnt a normal name?

bedron: well ive never heard anyone other than u called dallon so no i gues not

Dallon Weekes: yea but thats misspelling 
he literally thought i was called darren
how

frnk: shut up excessively large leg man

Dallon Weekes: u shut up excessively small leg boi

coolio: HE USES BOI INSTEAD OF BOY HES ONE OF US

mky: NO HES NOT 
BE GONE EXCESSIVELY LARGE LEG MAN

 

- mky removed Dallon Weekes from lemon party

 

fro: coming this fall
the adventures of excessively large leg man
fighting crime with his enormous legs 

bedron: ray why is everything a movie with u 
and dallons legs arent that big

fro: remind me of betetr times brendon
before the war
also yes they are

bja: i have to side with everyone else bren
dallon does have excessively large legs

bedron: did u just call me bren???

bja: ... no?

bedron: its kewl bby i let my lovers call me bren  ;)

dirnto: hahHA HA WE'LL HAVE NONE OF THAT HERE 

 

- dirnto removed bedron from lemon party

 

dirnto: better

gee: ooh we gotta jealous boi over here

bja: mike chill brendon is not my lover

coolio: brendons my mistress 

frnk: tre what

fro: trE NO

gee: IS ANYONE EVEN COMING TONIGHT

bja: oh i'll be coming alright ;)

dirnto: ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

gee: NO FUCKING IN MY HOUSE 

frnk: :( 

gee: ;)

fro: IF U AND FRANK GET TO FUCK THEN SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE

frnk: ray who are u gonna fuck

fro: I AM SPEAKING FOR THE PEOPLE HERE FRANK
AND BY PEOPLE I MEAN BILLIE AND MIKE
AND BRENDON IF HE BRINGS DALLON

coolio: theyre not together???

fro: thats what thay want u to think tre

gee: 'thay' 

fro: abUSE 

 

- coolio added bedron to lemon party

 

- coolio added Dallon Weekes to lemon party

 

fro: trE NO 

 

- fro removed bja from lemon party

 

fro: shiT WRONG PERSON

 

- fro removed bedron from lemon party

 

- dirnto removed fro from lemon party

 

- Dallon Weekes added bedron to lemon party

 

- dirnto added bja to lemon party

 

- mky added fro to lemon party

 

mky: can we just not pls

coolio: dallon does anyoen ever call u dal or dally 

Dallon Weekes: sometimes why

coolio: liek dallas winston 
u know
dally 

bedron: THERE WILL BE NO TALK OF ANYTHING OUTSIDERS RELATED HERE THX TRE

Dallon Weekes: BRENDON CRIED AT THE OUTSIDERS

bja: #EXPOSED

bedron: JOHNNY DESERVED BETTER 
AND SO DID DALLAS 

coolio: dallon why arent u called dallas 

Dallon Weekes: bc im not??

 

coolio changed Dallon Weekes's nickname to dallas

 

dallas: ty tre ty

coolio: welcome dally

bedron: tre do u fucking mind calling him dally

gee: ooh we got another jealous boi here ;)

bedron: gerard quiet 

fro: gerard me and frank are outside ur house

coolio: im literally just walking down the street u guys
I HAVE MY LEMONS DONT WORRY

fro: me and frank have our lemons too

bja: ONE OF MY LEMONS ROLLED UNDER MY BED AND I CANT REACH IT 
MIKE HELP

dirnto: billie i have like 20 extra lemons its fine

bja: o good

bedron: CAN DALLON COME PLS

gee: NO 
NO LONG BOIS IN THE WAY HOUSEHOLD 

dallas: :(

bedron: i have lemons 

gee: u only have 12 that buys admission for one person
and that one person is going to be u
not fucking dallon

dallas: but why do we need lemons

coolio: lemon party 

dallas: i dont have lemons tho

gee: well damn looks like no party for u excessively large leg man

 

- gee removed dallas from lemon party

Chapter Text

mky: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

fro: mikey shut the fuck up its 3am

bja: ಠ_ಠ

gee: (づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ

fro: HOW ARE U GUYS DOING THIS
also its 3am shut up

frnk: ray rn -> (ง⸌╭╮⸍)ง

bedron: there are lemons rolling around everywhere 

coolio: hold on im gonna go get a basket or someshit 

fro: tre sit down its 3am 

mky: ray thats the third time youve told us the time in the past minute

fro: i know mikey
BC ITS 3AM

dirnto: am awake bc tre just stood on me

coolio: soz fam

mky: tre never say fam again

coolio: fam

 

- mky removed coolio from lemon party 

 

- frnk renamed the group 乁(TᨎT)ㄏ

 

- bja added coolio to 乁(TᨎT)ㄏ

 

- bedron renamed the group gerard said dallon couldnt come so i let him in the window 

 

- bedron added dallas to gerard said dallon couldnt come so i let him in the window 

 

gee: BRENDON U LITTLE SHIT
THATS WHAT THAT MYSTERIOUS LUMP NEXT TO U IS

dallas: surprise gerard 

gee: DALLON DONT EVER DO THAT AGAIN

coolio: I WAS GETTING A BASKET WHAT HAPPENED

dirnto: BRENDON LET DALLON IN THROUGH THE WINDOW AND HE WAS HIDING UNDER A BLANKET AND HE JUST JUMPED OUT AT GERARD AND SCARED HIM 
it was funny 

gee: dallon u are now officially banned from my house

dallas: no gerard im sorry 

bedron: ur a mean one mr gerard 

bja: tRE DO U HAVE TO STAND ON MY ASS

dirnto: theRE WILL BE NONE OF THAT HERE TY TRE 

coolio: mike dont even think about removing me

 

- dirnto removed coolio from gerard said dallon couldnt come so i let him in the window 

 

dirnto: oops i slipped 

mky: smh ppl these days

 

- mky added coolio to gerard said dallon couldnt come so i let him in the window 

- frnk changed dallas's nickname to leggos 

 

bedron: tre ow no 

coolio: in my defence its dark and ur all spread out everywhere 

bja: TRE U FUCKNUT

coolio: WHAT DID I DO NOW TF

leggos: i agree with billie 

gee: tre u tipped the basket up and dropped lemons all over us 

fro: i take responsibilty froe the lemons guys soz :/

frnk: I FUCKING SLIPPED ON A LEMON ARE U SERIOUS 

mky: gerard our parents are yelling at us to be quiet

bja: its okay i will handle this

dirnto: omF BILLIE NO

gee: BILLIE I CANT BELIEVE U JUST YELLED THAT

bedron: yelled what i wasnt listening 

mky: yea bc u were too busy sticking ur tongue down dallons throat 

 

- bedron removed mky from gerard said dallon couldnt come so i let him in the window 

 

gee: my dad yelled "can u guys be quiet pls" and billie yelled "YEA GERARD AND FRANK STOP HAVING LOUD SEX" 

leggos: this group is an actual mess 

 

- gee added mky to gerard said dallon couldnt come so i let him in the window 

 

- leggos renamed the group an actual fucking disaster 

 

frnk: dallon ur face is an actual fucking disaster 

bedron: BLOCKED AND REPORTED 

 

- bedron removed frnk from an actual fucking disaster 

 

- mky added frnk to an actual fucking disaster                          

 

dirnto: brendon whats going on with u and dallon 

leggos: i call for a change of subject 

bja: dallon like 90% of us here are gay u dont have to worry

bedron: me and dallon
are
in a relationship of sorts i guess???

fro: IFUCKINGKNEWIT

coolio: BRALLON 
WE CAN CALL THEM BRALLON LIKE WE CALL GERARD AND FRANK FRERARD 

bja: what about me and mike
do we have a name

coolio: idk bike maybe? 
sorry guys ur names just dont work out v well :/

fro: coming this fall from the creators of 50 names of brendon urie and the adventures of excessively large leg man
the tales of brallon frerard and bike 

mky: coming this fall
shut the fuck up ray and shove ur movie titles up ur ass

leggos: ok well im gonna go to sleep...

gee: not in my house ur not 

mky: gerard did u literally just leap over me to attack dallon

gee: ...
yes
im not ashamed of it 

Chapter Text

bja: this week on group chat 
we are allowed back at school
gerard has accepted dallon as a full time member of the #squad 
we have a new teacher called mrs anus
tre and frank broke a window in the library
and mike literally threw up at the sight of a vagina 

gee: i have not accepted dallon as a full time member of the #squad

bja: gerard has accepted dallon as a full time member of the #squad 

gee: i have not

 

- leggos left an actual fucking disaster 

 

mky: ooh drama

bedron: mikey no
dallon says to tell u guys hes only leaving until this class is over so he doesnt get distracted bc hes rlly behind 

fro: wait wait wait
tre and frank broke a window on our first day back???

frnk: jfc ray it was an accident 

coolio: no one knows it was us so its all cool

mky: whos mrs anus

bedron: a new teacher thats actually called mrs amus but apparently everyone in this group is immature 
shes actually v nice

bja: us being immature is correct
her being nice is incorrect

dirnto: i did not throw up at the sight of a vagina billie dont spread rumors 

fro: so much news wow i cant keep up

bja: mike i showed u a vagina and u puked on the floor

dirnto: i just happened to puke as u wer showing me the vagina 

coolio: why was he showing u a vagina anyway

dirnto: bc hes a dick 

bja: yea but mike u love dicks 
especially mine

dirnto: especially not urs 

 

- bja removed dirnto from an actual fucking disaster 

 

mky: aw look theyre having a domestic 

bja: aw look shut the fuck up 

mky: whOA HOSTILITY 

 

- coolio added dirnto to an actual fucking disaster 

 

bedron: i take back what i said about mrs anus 
she can suck a dick 

gee: why 

bedron: do you know what she called me and dallon 

frnk: oh my god
oh no
she called you the f word didnt she 
and by f word i dont mean fuck

dirnto: i knew it
old people are fucking homophobic 

bedron: what no jfc calm down
she didnt call us anything bad

mky: then what did she call u thats lead u to hate her

bedron: basically
me and dallon (mainly me) were being a lil loud
and she called on us to be quiet

fro: thats no reson for u to hate her brendon chill

bedron: i wasnt finished
she called "brandon and dillon can u be quiet pls" 
BRANDON AND DILLON
whAsjhj 

frnk: THAT REMINDS ME 
SHE CALLED GERARD AS GERALD THIS MORNING 

gee: she fucking WHAT

mky: whats next is she gonna call me mickey or something

bedron: ooh class is over u know what that means
time to add bae back

 

- bedron added leggos to an actual fucking disaster 

 

fro: GUYS IM STUCK AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS

coolio: how exactly 

fro: some kid fell and broke his leg and the doctor version of firemen wont let anyone go pass

frnk: doctor version of firemen???????????

gee: why are there firemen

leggos: are they hot

bedron: uhM EXCUSE ME 
AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH

leggos: DEPENDS

bedron: ON WHAT

leggos: HOW WELL CAN U PULL OF A FIREMAN OUTFIT 

bedron: VERY WELL

leggos: THEN YES UR GOOD ENOUGH

dirnto: wheres the fire 

bja: theres a fire??

fro: there isnt a fire guys

mky: then why are there fireman

coolio: fireman
just one fireman

leggos: hello yes id like to order one large fireman 

bedron: i can be ur large fireman ;)

gee: i dont see any foremen what

frnk: 'foremen' 

dirnto: foreskin 

bja: rumple foreskin 

bedron: coming tjis fall from the creators of a lot of fucking movies
rumple foreskin and the firemen 

fro: thats my line 

leggos: o how the tables have tabled 

mky: whERE AER THE FUREMEN 

frnk: 'furemen' 

bja: durr hburr im a furemen 
gerna pert ert dis furre

dirnto: werth ma berg herse 

coolio: big hose ;))))

bedron: MIKEYS A FURRY 

leggos: expOSE HIM
EXPOSE HIM

coolio: E X P O S E H I M

gee: IM CRYGING WHATS HAPPENIBG 

leggos: MIKEYS A FURRY THERE ARE FUREMEN IN THE SCHOOL 
THERES A MOVIE ABOUT RUMPLE FORESKIN AND THE FIREMAN 

frnk: 'durr hburr im a furemen' 
my senior quote 

dirnto: put tHAT SHIT ON MY GRAVE SON
here lies the body of mike dirnt
'durr hburr im a fuermen' 

coolio: FURRMEN
FURRY MEN
ALL FIREMEN ARE FURRYS 

fro: OMF NO THERS NO FIRE OF FIREMEN OR FUREMEN SHUT UP

bedron: wow ray good job u got us all excited 

mky: ray u said there were firemen

fro: nO I DIDNT
I SAID THE DOCTOR VERSION OF FIREMEN

leggos: the what

fro: u know
the paratrooper dudes in the ambience

bja: ray... do u mean paramedics in the ambulance 

bedron: 'paratrooper dudes in the ambience'
ray are u okay

dirnto: starship troopers 

frnk: star trekking across the universe 

coolio: star trekking up ur ass 

leggos: this entire group has gone to hell

gee: which coincidentally is where u belong

bja: saVAGE

bedron: gerard be nice to dallon
im nice to frank

leggos: gerard what is ur problem with me
and dont fucking tell me its bc im too tall

gee: fine
i always assumed u were a dick idk why (ur not tho.. kind of)
but ur legs ARE abnormally long and ur annoyingly good looking

bedron: fuck away from my man bitch

frnk: brendon hes already got a man ty

bja: I HAVE A MAN TOO

dirnto: SAME

leggos: but i do belong in hell
we probably all do

coolio: hey maybe we were all friends in hell and satan sent us here to do fuck knows and thats why we're in this group

bedron: fate brought us togetehr

bja: no frank brought us together becase he was bored 

frnk: BRB GOTTA GO TO THE NURSE

gee: what why are u okay 

mky: gerard u typed that uncomfortably fast

coolio: ha this has absolutely nothing to do with me whatsoever 

frnk: no tre not at all
APSRT FROM WHEN U JABBED A PENCIL INTO MY HAND

coolio: i did not jab u
i forcefully poked u

gee: tre wtf

fro: tre why

bja: trE NO

leggos: why the hell would u stab someone with a pencil

coolio: FOR SCIENCE 

fro: ah 
the same reason billie had milk in his bag

bja: those were hard times ray we dont spoeak of those times

mky: 'spoeak'

dirnto: 'hard times'
billie it was like 2 week ago :/

bja: haRD TIMES MICHAEL HARD TIMES 

Chapter Text

- frnk removed gee from an actual fucking disaster 

mky: dRaMa :O

frnk: mikey
no
i need to talk to u guys 

leggos: and u couldnt keep gerard here becuase...???

bedron: dallon ive told u
its spelt because 
the a goes before the u 

leggos: its a hard word dont judge me

frnk: guys pls

bja: TRE TELL MIKE IM NOT COMPETTATIVE 

coolio: hey mike
billies not competitive 

dirnto: 'compettative; 
anD YES U ARE BJ 

frnk: billie mike pls 

fro: frank why are u removing gerard fron the group 

frnk: IM GETTING TO THAT JFC RAY GIVE ME A SECOND

bja: IM NOT COMPETITIVE 

dirnto: BILLIE U UNFRIENDED ME ON FACEBOOK BC I BEAT UR SCORE ON SUBWAY SURFERS 

bja: I WAS TOP BEFORE U CAME ALONG

dirnto: WELL IM BETTER THAN U 

bja: oh excuse me mike 
i didnt know u were the subway surfers king 
all hail the king of subway surfers 

 

- leggos changed dirnto's nickname to subway surfers king

 

subway surfers king: see billllie
dallon knows whos boss

leggos: ;)

bedron: hahHA NO

leggos: chillax 

bja: mike my name only has 2 ls in it????

mky: billie was a top before mike came along ;)
confirmed: billie joe armstrong is a bottom 

bja: mikEY I STG

subway surfers king: o H

frnk: IS ANYONE WONDERING WHY I REMOVED GERARD FROM THE GROUP

coolio: no not really 

frnk: ty tre

coolio: welc

bedron: WHY DID U REMOVE GERARD FRON TEH CHAT FRENSK
*frank
dallon pushed me while i was typing soz

 

- coolio changed frnk's nickname to FRENSK

 

leggos: dont lie brendon ur just getting revenge for all the times he misspelled ur name

FRENSK: WILL U GUSY SHIT THE FUCK U AAND LISFREBBDBHGCYFI

mky: i dont know what that means but no

fro: cmon guys lets listen to FRENSK

FRENSK: ty ray ty
i removed gerard from the grou[ because
i think hes cheating on me

mky: no frank hes not like that

bja: are u sure???

subway surfers king: u need to be sure about this sort of stuff before u start accusing ppl of it frank
as u foubd out with me and bj

FRENSK: well he has scratches all over his back abd i sure as hell didnt put them there

leggos: how does that mean hes cheating
oH
nevrmind..

bedron: actuallly he does seem kinda diffeent today

coolio: 'diffeent' 

FRENSK: tre now is not the tiem

mky: one way to sirt this out

FRENSK: omg mikey nO

mky: lets meet the man

fro: mikey stop quoting negan

mky: negan didnt say that u uncultured carrot 

subway surfers king: 'carrot'

coolio: carrot, noun: a tapering orange-coloured root eaten as a vegetable.

fro: idgaf who said it mikey jysrt stop

mky: u want me to quote negan i'll quote negan
LOOK AT THAT! TAKING IT LIKE A CHAMP!

bja: thats what i say to mike when he sucks my dick

subway surfers king: biLLIE WHAT THE FCK NO

FRENSK: WILL U FUCKBUTTS LISTEN 

bedron: fuckbutts

leggos: we are all fuckbutts

 

- subway surfers king renamed the group harry potter and the order of the fuckbutts

 

bja: this episode of group chat
featuring the subway surfers king, negan and the order of the fuckbutts  

 

- mky added gee to harry potter and the order of the fuckbutts

 

gee: ty mikey
FRANK WHY 
WHAT DID I EVER DO TO U

FRENSK: goTTA GO FAST

 

- FRENSK left harry potter and the order of the fuckbutts

 

gee: ???

fro: he thinks ur cheating on him bc of scratches on ur back or someshit 

gee: oH 
WHAT
WELL IM NOT

 

- leggos added FRENSK to harry potter and the order of the fuckbutts

 

bedron: gerars not cheating on u

FRENSK: ..oh
well thsi is good nes

fro: nes

leggos: what is nes

coolio: The Nintendo Entertainment System (commonly abbreviated as NES) is an 8-bit home video game console that was developed and manufactured by Nintendo.

subway surfers king: ter pls

coolio: TER

 

- bja changed coolio's nickname to ter

 

gee: after reading back through whatever the fuck has been goig on without me
i can conform that the scratches are not from me cheating on frank

FRENSK: then where did they come from

mky: where did they come from
where did they go
where did they come from 
cotton eyed back scratches 

gee: well u remember the raccoon that u told me not to pick up

FRENSK: yes 

gee: well i picked it up
and it wasnt happy about it

FRENSK: GERARD WHAT THE FUCK
IVE BEEN HERE PANICKKING AND WONDERING WHY IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH BC I THOIGH U WERE CHEATING
AND U TELL ME U WERE ATTACKED BY THE RACCOON
THAT I SPECIFICALLY TOLD U TO LEAVE ALONE 

gee: i liKE RACCOONS 
they just dont like me :(

mky: COTTON EYED RACCOON SCRATCHES 

subway surfers king: this has been a stressful chat u guys
im gonna go geT A HIGHER SCORE ON SUBWAY SURFERS

bja: MIKE UR SCORE IS ALREADY OVER 3 MILLION
WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END

subway surfers king: n e v e r :)

Chapter Text

ter: gastroenteritis
what the duck
nO wtf
i canopy
W H A T  I S  H A P P E N I N G

bja: tre u illiterate fuck 

ter: pls
i dont medieval 
medieval 
MEDIEVAL 

fro: medieval 

mky: medieval 

ter: i discontinue hierarchy 

subway surfers: i got sent out of class for this tre i hope ur happy 

ter: pterodactyl 
W H A T 
O K A Y  S O  I  C A N  O N L Y  S P E L L  C O R R E C T L Y  W H E N  I  T Y P E  L I K E  T H I S

gee: tre is ur autocorrect okay

ter: n o 

leggos: brendons [issed at u guys bc his phone got taken away

bja: '[issed'
same dallon same

mky: tres throwing a bitch fit its rlly funny 

ter: Michelin shut up
omg 
M I K E Y

 

- fro changed mky's nickname to michelin man 

 

michelin man: ray do u fucing mind

fro: 'fucing'

ter: sanitation 

bja: mike imma come find u 

subway surfers king: billie no ur already behind in english just stay there

bja: lol no

bedron: i stole my phoen back u guys

subway surfers king: brendon u should know by now that stealing phones ends badly 

bedron: i didnt choose the prison life
the prison life chose me
also whats going on with tre

ter: financial assassinate 
picturesque

FRENSK: okay i think i may know what going on
u guys remember the other day when dallon pushed him out of a baby swing

leggos: i didnt push him out of a baby swing but okay

FRENSK: u did push him out of a baby swing

leggos: i didnt push him out of a baby swing

FRENSK: tre what do u have to say on thsi matter
did dallon push u out of a baby swing?

ter: melancholy waffle iron

FRENSK: okay ty for ur answer
that 100% made sense

fro: thats gotta be the funniest thing i ever read
after durr hburr im a furemen 
'did dallon push u out of a baby swing?' 'melancholy waffle iron'

subway surfers king: GUYS SRSLY GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED

gee: ooh okay i love this game
u and bj were frick fracking in the bathroom
and mr dawkins walked in
now u both been expelled
and our squad has shrunk 

michelin man: wait what 
billie and mike were expelled for fucking in the bathroom

subway surfers king: um no?

FRENSK: mikey just yelled across the room to me that bj and mike have been expelled???

gee: its a sad time for us all frank
do try to control Ursula 

bedron: wait whos ursula 

leggos: gerard cheating on frank with ursula 

gee: haha dallon ur fucking funny
i meant urself

bja: i dont understand whats going on
whos been expelled

subway surfers king: me and u apparently

bja: oh
what did we do

fro: billie do u have memory loss

leggos: yes
he hit his head when i pushed him out of the baby swing

bedron: i thoght u pushed tre

ter: h e  d i d
a n d  m a d e  m e  d r o p  m y  p h o n e  

michelin man: oh so thats why u cant spell rn

ter: y e s

bedron: im writing a speech to read to the principle 
bj and mike shoudl not be expelled

subway surfers king: yea sure go ahead

gee: ooh i wanna be there when u read it to him

fro: let me help
reason 1: sex is a normal thing 
i beT HES EXPELLING THEM BC HES HOMOPHOBIA

michelin man: yes the principal is homophobia itself 

FRENSK: i always had a feeling

bja: why did tre send me a message saying "Denver"

fro: maybe thats where he is
i havent seen him al day today

FRENSK: um no hes next to me??

subway surfers king: i dont know whats happening

michelin man: i shall sunrise for u
*summarise 

bedron: gerard is cheating on frank with ursula 
the principle is homophobia itself
tre cant spell and is also in denver
mikey is the sunrise 

gee: 'mikey is the sunrise'
that sounds incredibly poetic and also gay

leggos: brenDON NO IM UR SUBMARINE 
SUNRISE
DAMN I MUST HAVE CAUGHT THE ILLITERATE OFF OF TRE

FRENSK: we all live in a dallon submarine

michelin man: we all live in a yellow dallon

bja: we all live in dallon 

ter: W E   A L L   L I V E   I N   D A L L O N   :)

bedron: guys im going to read my speech to the principle

michelin man: what does it say

bedron: "billie and mike shouldnt be expelled bc sex is a normal human thing and so what if they were doing it on school grounds theyre like 15 its all to do with puberty and the hormones and shit and i get that ur homophobia itself but u cant just go around expelling everyone who fucks someone in the toilets"

leggos: wow a true work of art

bedron: just like u <3

leggos: brendon thats gay

FRENSK: lets all go with beredn

bedron: i thought we were past misspelling my name frank

subway surfers king: NO BRENDON DONT U FUCKING DARE READ THAT

bja: mike dont be fucking rude hes trying to help us

subway surfers: BILLIE WE'RE NOT EVEN IN TROUBLE
GERARD LOOK WHAT U DID
I HOPE UR HAPPY

gee: i am

michelin man: gerard ur tearing this family apart 

FRENSK: GUYS BRENDONS STARTED READING GETHERE NOW

leggos: o shit mike running down the hall towards us and he looks angery 

subway surfers king: i am angery 
A N G E R Y

ter: m i k e   d o n t    f u c k i n g   s t e a l   m y   w a y   o f   t y p i n g   :(

leggos: o SHIT MIKE JUST FUCKING THREW BRENDON AT THE PRINCIPLE 

bja: mike why 

subway surfers king: BILLIE DO U NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED

bja: no?

subway surfers king: I SAID GUESS WHAT BC I WAS GONNA TELL EVERYONE ABOUT U HEADBUTTING MY ASS
AND GERARD ASSUMED WE GOT CAUGHT FUCKING IN THE BATHROOM AND GOT EXPELLED
SO EVERYONE KEPT THINKIG WE GOT EXPELLED
AND BRENDON JUST TOLE THE PRINCIPLE NOT TO EXPEL US FOR FUCKING IN THE TOILETS EVEN THO WE DIDNT
SO I THREW HIM AT THE PRINCIPLE
AND DALLONS YELLING AT EVERYONE
AND I THINK WE'RE ALL BEING SUSPENDED AGAIN

bja: wow thats wild

bedron: yea we definitely being suspended :)))

fro: wait what even me
i wasnt there???

michelin man: yes ray even u 

bja: what have we learned from today

subway surfers king: never say 'guess what' with gerard around

leggos: dont throw people at the principle

ter: d o n t   d r o p   u r   p h o n e

fro: it doenst matter where u are if ur friends act like dicks u will also be suspended

bedron: dont tell the principle not to expel someone for having sexual inrercourse in the bathroom

FRENSK: dont have sex in the bathroom

subway surfers king: WE DIDNT

bja: I WISH WE DID

subway surfers king: SAME

bja: LETS GO DO IT NOW 

subway surfers king: OKAY

gee: ur welcome ;)

Chapter Text

leggos: i want u to rub bbq sauce all over my ass ;)

michelin man: um no

leggos: oh mY GODSGDCFX
NOOOOOO
I MAENT TO SEND THAT TO BRENDON
NO
OH MY FUCKICNBG GOD
MIKEY I AM SO SORRY

gee: dallon i have some concerns
its 2 in the morning
this group is called harry potter and the order of the fuckbutts and im assuming brendons name in ur phone is brendon so how could u get those 2 confused 
bbQ SAUCE REALLY DALLON

leggos: actually brendons name in my phone is 'fine piece of forehead'
it used to be 'fine piece of ass' but his foreheads bigger than his ass

ter: i dont even want to know whats going on here
but i got a new phone so i can spell correctly now

leggos: im just gonna go ahead and erase myself from existence 

 

- leggos left harry potter and the order of the fuckbutts

 

fro: BBQ SAUCE BOI
COME BACK

 

- fro added leggos to harry potter and the order of the fuckbutts

 

- fro changed leggos's nickname to bbq sauce boi

 

bbq sauce boi: u guys are humiliating me :(

FRENSK: actually dallon i think u did that urself

bedron: o god
dallon why

 

- bbq sauce boi left harry potter and the order of the fuckbutts

 

- michelin man changed bedron's nickname to fine piece of forehead

 

bja: well
now we know what dallon thinks of at 2am

subway surfers king: u wanna know what i think of at 2am
slEEEP
SHUT THE FUCK UP

bja: hes just grumpy bc im not there with him

subway surfers king: u are here???
wait
where tf did u go

bja: 2am walk

ter: im there too

FRENSK: didnt u get mugged on ur last 2am walk

bja: yes 
but
that doesnt matter

ter: its okay im here to protect him this time

subway surfers king: tre ur like 12 :/

ter: mike ur like 9 :/

subway surfers king: that would mean billies dating a 9 year old

bja: tre no ew

ter: ist okay
billies 9 too

fro: ooh
we should all go on a 2am walk

michelin man: i agree
im getting dressed
bye gerard dont tell mom and dad im out at 2am

gee: im coming too dick

FRENSK: guys why are we like this

fine piece of forehead: u guys go ahead im gonna stay home 

subway surfers king: brendon this is exactly the sort of thing u would do
why are u being uncooperative 

fine piece of forehead: im not??? i just want to stay home???

michelin man: its so he can rub bbq sauce on dallons ass ;)

fro: ew gross
mayonnaise is better

bja: um theres a scary looking dude following me
oh nvm it was my shadow

subway surfers king: u mistook ur own shadow for a person following u

FRENSK: where tf are u all
im already up and out

fro: i can see u fronk

gee: i can see u ray 
turn around
hi

michelin man: im also here too btw 
hi

fine piece of forehead: have fun getting murdered and dumped in a ditch :)

 

- fine piece of forehead added bbq sauce boi to harry potter and the order of the fuckbutts

 

bbq sauce boi: BRENDON

fine piece of forehead: DALLON

michelin man: a fine piece of forehead to go with the bbq sauce on ur ass ;)

bbq sauce boi: mikEY

 

- bbq sauce boi removed michelin man from harry potter and the order of the fuckbutts

 

gee: dallon do u mind thats my brothel 

FRENSK: 'brothel' 

 

- fro added michelin man to harry potter and the order of the fuckbutts

 

michelin man: broTHEL GERARD WHAT THE HELL

gee: lol soz :/

 

- bbq sauce boi renamed the group mikesy brothel club

 

subway surfers king: 'mikesy' 

michelin man: dallon no

 

- michelin man renamed the group dallon no

 

- fine piece of forehead renamed the group BBQ SAUCE

 

bbq sauce boi: #triggered 
im blocking brebdon 

bja: 'brebdon'
at least when i did it i had an excuse 

bbq sauce boi: I DO HAVE AN EXCUSE
IM ILTILITRATE 

FRENSK: was that supposed to say illiterate by any chance ?

bbq sauce boi: no

Chapter Text

bja: give a man a fish and he will say
"wtf is this i ordered a big mac"
teach a man how to fish and he will say
"shut the fuck up i just want a big mac" 

michelin man: uh what

bja: i gotta job at mcdonalds 
and then i got fired 10 minutes later

subway surfers king: tru story
he called me crying

bja: i wasnt crying
i had fish in my eye

bbq sauce boi: fuCK YES HA
also did u literally do that to a man trying to buy a big mac

bja: i did
and im glad this is a celebration for u dallon :/

FRENSK: where did u get a fish from tho???

bja: my pocket??
where else???

fine piece of forehead: lemme get this straight 

bbq sauce boi: ur not straight brendon

fine piece of forehead: neither are u dlalon

michelin man: 'dlalon'

 

- ter changed bbq sauce boi's nickname to dlalon 

 

ter: ur welcome dlalon

dlalon: u cant say lemme get this straight when ur not straight 
its the rules

fine piece of forehead: okay fine.. lemme get this gay
billie walked into mcdonalds with a fish in his pocket and somehow got a job
and then gave the fish to the man who wanted a big mac
and got fired

bja: u forgot the part where i taught the man how to fish

fro: i always miss the good stuff 

gee: my phone was dead whats going on now

bja: i got fired from my job that i had for 10 minutes

gee: fuck
now i owe dallon $20 

bja: ???
is that why he was cheering

dlalon: it was

gee: basically we had a bet going
i thought ray would be the first one of the squad to get a job
and dallon thought it would be someone else

dlalon: i thought it would be me tbh

fine piece of forehead: dallon how the hell would u get a job

dlalon: i would be a stripper 

 

- FRENSK renamed the group fish

 

- FRENSK changed bja's nickname to fish

 

- FRENSK changed gee's nickname to fish

 

- FRENSK changed subway surfers king's nickname to fish

 

- FRENSK changed dlalon's nickname to fish

 

- FRENSK changed michelin man's nickname to fish

 

- FRENSK changed ter's nickname to fish

 

- FRENSK changed fine piece of forehead's nickname to fish

 

- FRENSK changed fro's nickname to fish

 

- FRENSK changed their own nickname to fish

 

fish: frank what the hell

fish: i cant tell who just said that

fish: well i cant tell who just said that

fish: this is stupid and also confusing

fish: well i dont see anyone bothering to change the names back???

fish: fish fish fish

fish: lets see how long we can handle this bullshit 
also ty frank 

fish: ur welcome

fish: brendon which fish are u

fish: i am this fish

fish: imPOSTER I AM THE BRENDON FISH

fish: EVYRTHNG HAS GONE O HELL

fish: 'evyrthng' 

fish: i aM ILITIERLTARE 

fish: thats dallon^^

fish: guus guys guys guys
we should play guess who
like guess which fish is which

fish: o yea
like we say something thats a typical thing we would say
and the other fishes gotta guess 

fish: lemme start

fish: no fuk u im starting

fish: i have a better idea
why dont we pretend to be other fish

fish: ??

fish: for example i pretend to be gerard 
"i love coffee and eyeliner"

fish: thats irritatingly accurate :/

fish: yea this sounds mroe fun acruallly

fish: we're teenagers we are not children we shouldnt be doing this 

fish: ^^ thats mikey 

fish: I WASNT PLAYING

fish: okay GO i start
"bbq sauce"

fish: ur dallon!!!!!

fish: brenDON I FUCKING KNOW THAT WAS U

fish: HOW DID U KNOW THAT WAS ME WTF DALLON

fish: WELL HOW DID U KNOW THAT WAS ME WTF BRENDON

fish: "close the goddamn doors"

fish: thats brendon for sure

fish: okay which one of u fucker is impersonating me?/

fish: wow bren u spelt imepsnatoanting right

fish: wow dall u spelt impersonating wrong when its wriTTEN RIGHT THERE

fish: ITILERATE

fish: 'itilerate'

fish: "itilerate, noun: a word that dallon uses insead of illiterate bc hes actually illiterate" 

fish: TRE TRE TRE

fish: guys the word fish has lost all meaning to me
ive read it so many times it doenst eveb make sense rn
what is fish

fish: I AM FISH

fish: WE ARE ALL FISH

fish: UNITED STATES OF FISH

fish: thaTS IT IVE HAD IT WITH FISH

fish: IVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING FISH IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING GROUP CHAT

fish: no u dont understand ive literALLY HAD IT WITH THIS 
KISS GOODBYE TO UR PRESHOUS GROUP CHAT

fish: 'preshous' what

fish: UR ALL LEAVING BYE

fish: WHAT NO WHY DONT DO THIS

fish: we're not too far gone :'(

fish: I TOLD U TO STOP QUOTING NEGAN 

fish: omF HAVE U EVER EVEN SEEN THE WALJING DEAD BC NEGAN DIDNT FUCKING SAY THAT
SCARY ONE EYE PIRATE DUDE DID

fish: 'scary one eye pirate dude' 
whats his name

fish: ACTUALLY U UNCULTURED SQUIDS 
RICK SAID THAT TO THE SCARY ONE EYE PIRATE DUDE
FUCKING RICK

fish: anyWAYS BACK ON TRACK
BYE LOL

fish: ray i know this is u doing this :/ u killed the last griup chat we had

fish: and im gonna kill this one too 

 

- fish removed fish from fish

 

- fish removed fish from fish

 

- fish removed fish from fish

 

- fish removed fish from fish

 

- fish removed fish from fish

 

- fish removed fish from fish

 

- fish removed fish from fish

 

- fish removed fish from fish

 

- fish left fish

Chapter Text

- Brendon Urie added Dallon Weekes, Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt and Tré Cool to ray toro is a group chat serial killer

 

Brendon Urie: and so it begins
without ray

Gerard Way: ray sits next to me in this class btw
hes very offended that he hasnt been added in

Brendon Urie: lmao idc

Mike Dirnt: he wants to know if we can add him

Dallon Weekes: no he cant be trusted

Billie Joe Armstrong: he says hes been to group chat serial killer rehab and he hasnt killed a group chat in over 6 months

Frank Iero: he killed our group chat yesterday :/
dont believe his LIES

Mikey Way: anywayssss
hows everyones first day back

Tré Cool: fucking terrible
i got sent out of class for eating wtf

Mikey Way: well they do have a no eating rule tre 

Tré Cool: what are you a fucking teacher 
suck my dick mikey and shut the fuck up

Gerard Way: tre pls thats my brother ur chatting shit to :/

 

- Frank Iero changed their own nickname to frnkiero

 

Billie Joe Armstrong: it always comes down to changng nicknames doenst it frank 

frnkiero: yes it does bj yes it does

 

- Tré Cool changed Billie Joe Armstrong's nickname to blowjob gaystrong

 

blowjob gaystrong: tre why
what did i ever do to u 

 

- blowjob gaystrong changed Tré Cool's nickname to an actual fucking ass

 

Mike Dirnt: guys i have a joke listen

an actual fucking ass: mike u are the joke

blowjob gaystrong: oi m8 thats my bf ur chatting shit to 

Dallon Weekes: billie just turned incredibly british 

Brendon Urie: u could say he turned
*puts on sunscreen*
incredibillie british 
... u guys get it right

Mikey Way: brendon ur supposed to put on sunglasses not sunscreen 

Brendon Urie: let me live my life mikey 

blowjob gaystrong: thATS IT
THATS MY SUPERHERO NAME 
INCREDIBILLIE

 

- Brendon Urie changed blowjob gaystrong's nickname to incredibillie

 

Brendon Urie: ur welcome billie 

incredibillie: ha fuckers im a superhero

frnkiero: more like a supergay :/

Gerard Way: frank we're all supergays here

Dallon Weekes: welcome to the league of supergays

 

- Mikey Way renamed the group the league of supergays

 

Mike Dirnt: brendon give me a superhero name 

Brendon Urie: no

Gerard Way: i call dibs on party poison 

frnkiero: gerard no one wants party poison anyway

an actual fucking ass: whats party poison 

Mikey Way: its one of his comic book characters that he made up
bc hes a hecking nerd

 

- Gerard Way changed their own nickname to party poison 

 

party poison: party poison doenst have to deal with ur shit 

Mikey Way: does thet mean i get to be kobra kid 

party poison: yes 

 

- party poison changed Mikey Way's nickname to kobra kid

 

kobra kid: and frank gest to be fun ghoul right??

 

kobra kid changed frnkiero's nickname to fun ghoul

 

Mike Dirnt: i have names for brendon and dallon

Brendon Urie: what

Mike Dirnt: dr forehead and mr leg

an actual fucking ass: YES MIKE FUCK IT UP

 

- an actual fucking ass changed Brendon Urie's nickname to dr forehead 

 

- an actual fucking ass changed Dallon Weekes's nickname to mr leg

 

fun ghoul: so are we a superhrreo gang now

mr leg: no frank we're a supergay gang now

Mike Dirnt: me and tre dont have names this is unfair

 

- dr forehead changed Mike Dirnt's nickname to supermike

 

dr forehead: now stop bitching 

supermike: ty bren

mr leg: LETS NOT CALL HIM BREN

kobra kid: jealous much dallon ;))

an actual fucking ass: so do i get a superheo name or am i forever doomed to be an actual fucking ass

 

- party poison changed an actual fucking ass's nickname to supertre

 

supertre: wow creative gerard

party poison: be fucking appreciative 

supermike: tre ur my partner 

incredibillie: nO MIKE THATS ME D:

fun ghoul: jealous boiz 

dr forehead: damn ray sure is missing out on all the fun

kobra kid: WE SHOULD ADD HIM HE CAN BE OUR SUPERVILLAIN 

mr leg: mikEY NO WHY U GOTTA CREATE DRAMA ALL THE TIME

kobra kid: bitch just try and stop me

 

- kobra kid added Ray Toro to the league of supergays 

 

supermike: mikey just called dallon a bitch

supertre: mikey just added the KILLER TO THE GROUP

 

- supertre changed Ray Toro's nickname to chatkiller 

 

chatkiller: o shit waddup

party poison: so u act like notching happenend 

kobra kid: 'notching'

chatkiller: do i dare ask whats going on with the nicknames 

fun ghoul: we're superheroes ray thats whats going on
and u are a supervillain 

chatkiller: i just lost my shit over dr forehead and mr leg 

incredibillie: IM GONNA MAKE A SUPERHREO COSTUME 

supermike: billie pls no 

incredibillie: I THINK U MEAN BILLIE YES

supermike: BILLIE  N O

incredibillie: BILLIE  Y E S

dr forehead: I AGREE BILLIE YES 

mr leg: brendon dont incorage him 

chatkiller: 'incorage' dallon why

supermike: and i thought billie was behind in english

party poison: the only reason billies behind in eglish is bc he always eitehr leaves or gets kicked out of class

incredibillie: gerard ur no better :/// u constantly get told to put ur eyeliner down in class

chatkiller: so am i accepted back into the squad 

dr forehead: lol no be gone 

 

- dr forehead removed chatkiller from the league of supergays 

 

- kobra kid added chatkiller to the league of supergays

 

kobra kid: brendon can u be nice for 5 fucking miutes

supertre: brendon doesnt know how to be nice

dr forehead: um rude??

fun ghoul: its bc his forehead is so big
it makes him mean

dr forehead: thats doesnt even make sense frank what

mr leg: poor brendo 

chatkiller: 'brendo' 

mr leg: lets not forget that i am illegitimate 

Chapter Text

party poison: "im not drunk" mikey said as he tipped over backwards and laughed at the ceiling for half an hour

kobra kid: gerd pls
it was a rough weekend

 

- supertre changed party poison's nickname to gerd

 

gerd: tre do not
and yyes mikey i agree but it was still hilarious 

incredibillie: tre no ur tearing the league of supergays apart :(
also someone drew fan art of me and mike as incredibillie and supermike
its p cool 

incredibillie sent a photo to the league of supergays 

chatkiller: jfc u didnt tell us it was erotic 

incredibillie: but look how good the drawing is!!! 
if u zoom in its so detailed 

incredibillie sent a photo to the league of supergays

incredibillie: see look at that DETAIL

chatkiller: BILLIE NO 

fun ghoul: billiw why are u sending nudes???
oH 
its a drawing

supermike: ooh look how big i am ;))
zoom in

supermike sent a photo to the league of supergays 

incredibillie: its v accurate ;)

dr forehead: CAB WE STOP SENDING NUDES TO THE GROUP PLS 

gerd: i agree lets stop if someone happens to look over my shoulder they woudl be v concerned

mr leg: someone mentioned dr jekyll and mr hyde and me and brendon just looked at each other and remembered dr forehead and mr leg 
we got kicked out for laughing
so if anyone wanna come join us be apreceiate 

chatkiller: dallon that last sentence doesnt eveb make sense

mr leg: what do u expect ray i keEP GETTING KICKED OUT OF ENGLISH
o nvm we allowed back in now 

fun ghoul: i dont even know what class im in but im leaving

kobra kid: frank no ur the only company i have since tre got banned from ever entering this room again

supermike: how did tre get banned
wait do i rlly wanna know

fun ghoul: u do wanna know trust me its funny

supertre: apparently im not allowed to stack tables on top of each other and jump over them

kobra kid: tre tell mike what happened when the tables got too high for u to jump oevr

supertre: they fell 
on the teacher
and broke his wrist

gerd: o H

fun ghoul: lol bye leaving 

kobra kid: frabj no come back

dr forehead: frabj

 

- supertre changed fun ghoul's nickname to frabj

 

kobra kid: frank sit ur ass down now i stg
the bible said adam and eve not frank can leave

frabj: the bible said mikey shut the fuck up

dr forehead: ive never read the bible but i dont think it said that

kobra kid: the bible said FRANK SIT TF DOWN

frabj: the bible said no

kobra kid: the bible said ur an ass 

frabj: the bible said ur a shrimp bitch

mr leg: the biBLE SAID IM GONNA FUCKIN REMOVE U ALL FROM THIS CHAT IN A MINUTE IF U DONT SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR 5 MINS BC I JUST GOT LET BACK IN THIS CLASS AND THE TEACHER IS GONNA TAKE MY PHONE AWAY IF IT KEEPS BEEPING AND IF HE TAKES MY PHONE IM GONNA TAKE SOMEONES LIFE

 

- gerd removed mr leg from the league of supergays 

 

dr forehead: geardr donr be fucking rude

 

- dr forehead added mr leg to the league of supergays

 

mr leg: BRDENO I WILL FUCING END U 

dr forehead: .. um?? what is brdeno 

mr leg: im am illustrate 

 

- supertre changed dr forehead's nickname to brdeno

 

chatkiller: tre is slowly erasing our superhero identitties :(

supertre: ha u said titties 

 

- chatkiller changed supertre's nickname to tre is not super

 

tre is not super: that just makes me sound like some sort of cringy youtuber 

 

- chatkiller changed tre is not super;s nickname to tre is not a youtuber 

 

tre is not a youtuber: that also makes me sound like some sort of cringy youtuber 

 

- chatkiller changed tre is not a youtuber's nickname to coolio

 

coolio: ah good old coolio :)

mr leg: I HOPE U WEASELS ARE HAPPY I GOT KICKED OUT AGAIN

brdeno: i am a happy weasel 

kobra kid: pop goes the weasel 

incredibillie: what the fuck is a measle

coolio: measles, noun: an infectious viral disease causing fever and a red rash, typically occurring in childhood.

gerd: who has measles 

chatkiller: dallon

mr leg: ?? no one has measles tf 

frabj: then why are u talking about measles dallon dont confuse us

gerd: this is literally like when ray told us there were firemen and we all got excited

supermike: DURR HBURR IM A FUREMEN 

incredibillie: RUMPLE FORESKIN
that was a good day

brdeno: i got rlly confused for a second bc i thought u were using RUMPLE FORESKIN as a term of surprise
u know like instead of saying OH MY GOD that was a goo day u said RUMPLE FORESKIN that was a good day
but anyway who has measles 

mr leg: I SAID WEASEL NOT MEASLES TF IS WRONG WITH U GUYS 

incredibillie: whaT

coolio: weasel, noun: a small, slender carnivorous mammal related to, but smaller than, the stoat.
weasel, noun: a deceitful or treacherous person.
weasel, verb: achieve something by use of cunning or deceit.

supermike: we are all deceitful and treacherous ppl here

frabj: meikey where tf are u come join me

kobra kid: sorry frank i only respond to my name
u know
MIKEY 
not meikey

 

- gerd changed kobra kid's nickname to meikey

 

frabj: i sepnt too much time with dallon i caught his illiterate 

meikey: fuck u

mr leg: im not illinois what 

brdeno: no dal ur not an entire state 

coolio: his legs are the size of an entire state 

incredibillie: just like my dick 

chatkiller: it always comes back to someones penis doesnt it

Chapter Text

meikey: i have some news
1. tre acquired a paintball gun
2. tre shot me in the ass cheek with said paintball gun
3. the cops took the paintball gun away from him
4. i cannot fucking walk

gerd: u were only suposed to go to the store to get snacks how

coolio: a man in an alleyway was giving away paintball guns tf was i supposed to say

gerd: tre remember the last time u accepted something from a man in an alleyway

supermike: ah yes i remember that incident 

brdeno: what incident

frabj: we call it the great food poisoning of '15

mr leg: whats the great food poisoning of '15??

chatkiller: strap urself in boi this is gonna be a wild ride

incredibillie: strap on ;)

coolio: let me set the scene:
it was a cold dark december night

supermike: it was the middle of the afternoon in june but okay

coolio: i was all alone in a strange land

meikey: tre u were walking home from school and me and frank were with u :/

coolio: all of a sudden out of nowhere a large man attacked me

frabj: um.. a tiny lil homeless dude stepped out form an alleyway and said hello

coolio: i fouhgt  him of with my bear hands but it was no use
he was too srtongh

incredibillie: 'bear hands'
grizly bear

chatkiller: the legend of bear hand tre

meikey: tre wtf that didnt happen at all

coolio: SHUT UP MIKEY U WERENT THERE U DONT KNOW HOW TERRIFYING IT WAS FOR ME

meikey: okay but i kinda was there :/
and so was ffrnak

mr leg: what happened nect what happeed next

chatkiller: 'happeed' 

mr leg: hush 

coolio: from his pocket he puleld out a weapon

brdeno: he had a gun?

coolio: yes
a glock

chatkiller: by glock he means a mouldy old chicken wing
that he fucking ate

coolio: whos telling the story raymond
anyhoo
he pulled out a glock and put it to my head

supermike: cock

coolio: no

frabj: i.. i dont know what happening rn

gerd: no one does frank no one does

coolio: my entire life flased before my eyes
i saw my birth and all my birthdays and everything
i even s aw the time i got my haed stuck in thoese bars

incredibillie: ha i remmver that 

coolio: he pulld the trigger 

brdeno: wow
did u die

coolio: sadly yes
BUT I SURVIVDE

mr leg: ALL JAIL BEAR HAND TRE
*HAIL

chatkiller: jail tre

meikey: THAT DIDNT HAPPEN
A HOMELESS DUDE OFFERED HIM A MOLDY CHICKEN WING
AND HE FUCKING ATE IT AND GOT SICK FOR LIKE 5 MONTHS

supermike: #jailtre2k16

incredibillie: #JAILTRE2K16

brdeno: i didnt understabd that story one bit
but from mikeys summary iim assuming u accepted food from a strange man in an alleyway??

coolio: u assumed correctly bren
that was a good time

chatkiller: u spent 4 weeks off school
2 of which were in the hopsotal

coolio: but it was a good chicken wing

mr leg: um shouldnt we be focusing on mikey getting shot in the ass

incredibillie: we can call this incident the great ass-shooting of '16 

 

- chatkiller renamed the group the great ass-shooting of '16

 

meikey: wow thanks ray :/

chatkiller: welcome

gerd: mikey where tf are u anyway
ur suppos to be bringning me my snacks 

meikey: u fuckin try wlakindg witha sore ass
not that esy

mr leg: o dear
that is hard to undertsand

frabj: mikey 90% of us here are gay
we all kmow what its like to walk with a sore ass

supermike: frANK 

frabj: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

coolio: its okay im helping

meikey: tre literally all ur doing is reciting poetry in a british acent

brdeno: i see how that can help

meikey: itS NOT FUCKING HELPEOJDNG THO BRNEDON FUCIKMK ODF

mr leg: idk what dat means but im p sure he just told u he loves u brendon :)

incredibillie: he really didnt dallon

gerd: he better not have
mikey i raised u better than to go after a married man 

brdeno: im married?

mr leg: oH WELL THIS IS NEWS
WHO MARRIED U BRENDON 

supermike: this is getting rather heated 

chatkiller: once again mikey causes drama

meikey: THE POINT OF THIS DSICUSION IS SUPPSOED TO BE ME GETTING SHOT IN THE ASS
NOT WHATEVER THE FUCK WE'RE DISCUSSING NOW

mr leg: BRENDON WHO DID U MARRY

brdeno: IM NOT MARRIED IM JUST A SMOL BOI OF 16

frabj: we had the great food poisoning of '15
and now the great ass-shooting of '16
i wonder what the great incident of '17 will be

chatkiller: only time will tell

Chapter Text

chatkiller: i figured it out
what the next great event will be
its gonna be the great murder spree of '17

brdeno: whay

mr leg: 'whay'
honey make up ur mind its either what or why

brdeno: fuck off fallon let me make up words

frabj: falLON I AM WHEEZING

 

- incredibillie changed mr leg's nickname to fallon

 

gerd: the tonight show stirring jimmy fallon 

coolio: 'stirring' 

meikey: guys pls its quarter to 6 in the morning 
on a sunday

chatkiller: SOMEONE ASK ME WHY THERES GONNA BE A MURDER SPREE IN THE NEW YEAR

supermike: WHY IS THERE GONNA BE A MURDER SPREE IN THE NEW YEAR

chatkiller: BC IM ABOU TO M U R D E R YOU ALL :)

incredibillie: o H 
WELL
THATS A LITTLE HOSTILE DONT U THINK

chatkiller: okay okay
i wont murder ALL of u
JUST WHICHEVER ONE OF U FUCKS PUT 14 BOXES OF CONDOMS IN MY ROOM

fallon: what size are they

chatkiller: dallon thats not imortnat 

gerd: thats mr jimmy fallon to u ray ty v much

fallon: my name isnt jimmy fallon
its jimmy dallon

frabj: why does this chat never make a lick of sense

coolio: why does it have to be a lick

meikey: yea
why not a slurp of sense

supermike: or a mouthful of sense

brdeno: or an assload of sense

incredibillie: brendon no 

brdeno: let me live my life billie

chatkiller: anyone gonna admit to the condom crime?

gerd: no no no ray 
we cant call this the condom crime
this is like the 7th condom crime

fallon: u guys have a lot of weird shit happening 

coolio: this isnt even the weirdest 

supermike: yea weve had stranger things

meikey: ha stranger things 

incredibillie: the first condom crime was when frank woke up with condoms on his hands and feet

gerd: i admitted to that
sorry fronk

frabj: dont be ;)
it was nice

meikey: then i found like 200 condoms taped to the inside of my locker
coughtrecough

coolio: ur welcome

fallon: okay yea we get he point

brdeno: were kinda late to the condom party
im gonna have to mak w up for lost tiem

supermike: u really dont brendon 

chatkiller: I BET IT WAS U MIKE

supermike: whAT NO IT WASNT??? 
IM A MAATURE RESPOIBSIBLE ADULT 
LEAVE ME OT OF UR SILLY CONDOM GAMES
it was probably billie

incredibillie: you know what mike
go and shove milk up ur ass

supermike: nah
that sounds more like something bredon would do 

brdeno: ur absolutely right :)
but id probably shove milk up someone elses ass

fallon: im leaving u bye

brdeno: i didnt say i was gona shove milk up UR ass 

fallon: oh? whos else ass would u shove milk up then? if not ur BOYFRIND
bc thats what i am right?

brdeno: im confis?
do u want milk shoved up ur ass or not?

fallon: no brendon what the actual fuck 

incredibillie: if anyone wants milk i usually have some in my bag

frabj: im confused to heck rn 
i thogh milk came out of titties
not ass?

gerd: frank.. no

meikey: milk usually comes out of billies bag actually 

coolio: u guys are weird asf
milk comes out of my fridge
not my titts or my ass or my bag

chatkiller: van we stop talking about milk pls

supermike: van

brdeno: vans off the wall 

frabj: why would u put a van on a wall
brendon what the actual fuck

gerd: frank just go back to sleep ur getting confusded

chatkiller: brendon what the actual fuck is becoming almost as popular as trE NO

incredibillie: bc tre cannnot behave himself 

coolio: fuk u bj 

 

- coolio changed incredibillie's nickname to blowjob gaystrong

 

blowjob gaystrong: trE NO 
what the fukc
why 

supermike: its a v flattening name bj 

frabj: flattening 

fallon: pancakes are flat

meikey: fuck off dallon now im hungry 
and it only fucking 6am 

gerd: hunger doesnt abide by our laws of time

chatkiller: that sounds like a drmaatic movie ending 
but at the same time it kinda doesnt make sense

brdeno: the best movies dont make sense ray 

coolio: this group doesnt make sense
does that mean this is a movie

fallon: yes

gerd: no

fallon: y e s

gerd: dallon dont be fucking progressive
*aggressive wtf

blowjob gaystrong: yea ffs dallon stop being so progressive 

meikey: if thsi was a movit i like to think there would be cool tumblr edits off our best lines
like durr hburr im a furemen
and melancholy waffle iron

supermike: "durr hburr im a furemen" - billie joe armstrong   
good times good times

frabj: my personal fave is "i want u to rub bbq sauce all over my ass ;)"  - dallon weekes 

fallon: i feel attacked 

chatkiller: i like this one
"all ive done in this class is draw and eat childbirth" - gerard way 

brdeno: i think all of our lines are gr8

gerd: theyre not lines brendon we're not actors 

brdeno: i could be an actor 

 

Chapter Text

fallon: i require assistants

meikey: do u mean assistance 

fallon: no shut up
anyway
help me

chatkiller: u do realise we're in class
we cant help u

supermike: ray dont be fucking rude
what do u need dallon

fallon: whos harry truman 

gerd: who

blowjob gaystrong: who tf is harry truman 

fallon: exACTLY 
tHis class confuses me
harry truman the mystery man  

coolio: scooby doo

chatkiller: what tre

coolio: mystery machine 
scooby doo
u knwo?

frabj: harry trumans in scooby doo

fallon: o ty frank
now i actually seem like im paying attention 

brdeno: go dallon
u might make it into college if u keep this up

fallon: hahAHA HA 
brendon dont pressure me too much

meikey: are u guys seriously this dumb

blowjob gaystrong: wow mean

fallon: frank why would u lie to me
harry truman is not in scooby doo

meikey: nO FUCKING SHIT
HE WAS THE PRESIDENT 

gerd: harry trumasn the president??

meikey: no he WAS the presiednet
u insulted the (dead) president of the unites states

coolio: lol nvm

meikey: tre have some respect 

coolio: no 

meikey: dallon apologise to harry truman for not knowing who he was

fallon: sorry harry truman for not knowing who u were

meikey: tre apologise to harry truman for not respecting him

coolio: no

meikey: trE APOLOGISE TO HARRY TRUMAN

coolio: NO

meikey: FINE
MOVING ON
frank apologise to harry truman for saying hes in scooby doo

frabj: sorry harry truman for saying u were in scooby doo
(u would make a rad ghost hunter tho)

meikey: and also apologise to dallon for telling him harry truman is in scooby doo

frabj: sorry dallon for telling u that harry truman was in scooby doo
and harry truman needs to apologise to dallon for confusing him 

meikey: harry truman apologise to dallon for confusting him

brdeno: harry truman contacts u from beyon the grave dal
he says sorry for confusing u 

fallon: i do not accept harry trumans apology 

brdeno: harry truman is most upset that u do not accept his apology 

fallon: good thing i dont give a fuck about harry trumans feelings 

meikey: DALLON
be nice to harry truman

gerd: um mikey
why are u talking as if u and harry truman are bffs

meikey: we arent bffs gerard :/
but we were bfuooudop

coolio: ??

meikey: best friends until one of us dies of pneumonia 

gerd: thats terrifyingly specific 

blowjob gaystrong: today on group chat
mikey makes everyone apologise to harry truman
who used to be his bfuooudop

supermike: i didnt apologose 
do i need to?

meikey: mike, apologise to harry truman for not apologosing to him

supermike: sorry harry truman for not apologising to u
wait what did i do

frabj: u killed him 

chatkiller: MIKE KILLED HARRY TRUMAN

meikey: HARRY TRUMAN ISNT A JOKE RAY 
HE WAS MY BFUOOUDOP

gerd: noah fence but this entire chat has gone to hell
for the 167389403276th time 

brdeno: i take a fence t this comet

supermike: offensive comet 
go to time out 
bad comet 

meikey: whats happening 
i dont
whAT

frabj: harry truman is in scooby doo
and brendon got offended by a comet
that mike is now putting in time out 

blowjob gaystrong: mike would make a great comet 
*parent
sorry i read comet and accidentally wrote it 

coolio: mikes a comet

supermike: no?

fallon: be free mike be free follow ur dreams of being a comet 

brdeno: #setmikefree2k16

gerd: if mike wants to be a comet he can be a comet
dont let anyone hold u back mike

supermike: i dont want tto be a comet tho gerard :/
thank u for ur support tho

frabj: if mikes a comet that means he offended brendon
go to timeout michael and think about ur action figures
*actions wtf 

fallon: action figures 

chatkiller: how cool would a harry truman action figure be
with a mystery machine

meikey: i cant deal 
i just cant
LEAVE HARRY TRUMAN OUT OF UR DUMBASS IDEAS PLS
HES DONE NOTHING TO U 

blowjob gaystrong: mikey the fangirl :/
harry trumas no 1 fan right here

meikey: BILLID I WO FCUI EDNHCUGIYV

gerd: oh look we broke mikey
again 

brdeno: this has happened before?

coolio: o yes
many times

blowjob gaystrong: here goes the hair and there goes the hair
where is harry truman

frabj: in the mystery machine 

blowjob gaystrong: incorrect
hes dead in the ground hes dead in the ground
hes dead dead dead dead dead dead

supermike: nice

fallon: me and bren got kicked out of class

meikey: how 

brdeno: theres some weird discussion going on about harry truman 
and i brought up scooby doo again
and then dallon sang that stupid bobs burgers hair song
and the teacher apparebtly didnt like it

chatkiller: meet me in the library 
im bored

gerd: i would join but im actually banned from the library for tje rest of this week

blowjob gaystrong: only bc they caught u dancng about 
looks like u have to stay in class ha

coolio: im on the roof come join me

meikey: all thsi group is used for is telling each otehr where we are when we misbehave and get kicked out of class
also what the hell are u doing on the roof tre 

coolio: admirjng the view
and also i found a grapefruit 

frabj: so tre is on the roof with a grapefruit
that alarms me a lot more than it should

supermike: grapefruits are an alarming species 

frabj: i was talking mroe about tre but okay sure

Chapter Text

frabj: U GUYS HAVW NO IDEA WHTA U JUST MISSED 
F R I CK 
THTA WAS EXHILERATING 

coolio: i could have d i e d frank

frabj: but u didnt?? smh ppl these days alwats so sensitive 

chatkiller: do i even wanna know what happened 

brdeno: why do i get the feeling u groaned as u typed that

chatkiller: bc i did

blowjob gaystrong: wait whos having sex

meikey: um no one?

blowjob gaystrong: lol soz i saw the word groaned and just assumed ya know
waht is going on anyway

fallon: we're not sure
frank has news and tre could have d i e d 

gerd: i was summoned by notifications
tre did u legit nearly die

coolio: yes 
sit tight kiddos for an epic tale of love and betrayal and heartbreak and loss 
and also what happens when u go to close to the edge of the roof

supermike: pls tell me u didnt fall off of a roof tre

coolio: i didnt fall off of a roof michael 

fallon: really?

coolio: lmao no not really 
i was just telling mike what he wanted to hear

meikey: oh my g o d 
im in a group full off complete fucking fuckasses 

gerd: thats no way to speak aboot ur friends mikey

brdeno: lmao read that in a scottish accent 

chatkiller: c r y i n g
"thats no way to speak aboot ur friends mikey" - gerard the scottish man 

supermike: shoukdnt that be scotsman 

fallon: the flying scotsman
isnt that a ghost ship

meikey: no dallon
thats the flying fuckboy
*ducthman wtf lmao 

coolio: flying fuckboy i am h y p e r v e n t i l a t i n g

blowjob gaystrong: gerard the flying fuckboy

supermike: how about ghost fuckboy

fallon: scottish fuckboy

chatkiller: scottish ghost 

frabj: cAN WE FFOCUS PLS
TRE ALMOST DIED AND SOMETHING INCREDIBLY FUNNY HAPPENED BUT ALL U DICKWANKS CAN TALK ABOUT IS GHOST SHIPS AND FUCKBOYS AND SCOTTISH MEN
also gerard is not a fuckboy

brdeno: ghost ships, fuckboys and scottish men - the tale of our group chat 

coolio: tag urself im the ghost ship

frabj: L I S T E N PLS

supermike: jfc frank what happened

coolio: i fell off the roof is what happened

blowjob gaystrong: how are u not dead
like
its pretty far up
OMF IS UR GRAPEFRUIT OKAY DID IT FALL WITH U 

coolio: NO BILLIE DONT TALK ABOUT WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED MY GRAPEFRUIT SON IS OKAY

frabj: i have  it 

meikey: am i the only one wondering whats funny about tre almost dying

fallon: tre falling off the roof isnt the funny part? 

brdeno: no dallon wtf :/

frabj: well
tre fell
and guess who caught him

gerd: harry truman

meikey: LEAV E HARRY TRUMAN OUT OF THIS GERARD I STG

frabj: IT WAS THE PRINCIPAL 
PLOT TWIST WHOA
also he caught him and it lookedl like they were about to kiss

supermike: tre/principal fanfiction and edgy tumblr edits coming up 

fallon: "he holds me in his big arms drunk and i am seeing stars this is all i think of" - tre aftr being caught by the principal 

coolio: i wasnt drunk??

gerd: well how else do u explain fallng off a roof

chatkiller: its tre what do u honestly expect 

coolio: anyway
dearest franklin
what has become of my grapefruit son

brdeno: wow falling off a roof sure has changed tre

meikey: tre u could have died and ur worried about a grapefruit 

frabj: ur grapefruit is fine tre its with me 
im carrying it down to u now 

coolio: good good

supermike: tre do u know that everyones already talking about u and the principal

coolio: age is just a number dont h8 

blowjob gaystrong: trE NO WTF dont fuck the principal 

coolio: he wants me i know it

chatkiller: im gonna pretend i didnt read that :/

Chapter Text

gerd: im having dreams about harry truman and scottish fuckboys on ghost ships now bc of u asshats

coolio: BILLIE AND DALLON ARE GOING AT IT GET UR BUTTS HERE NOW

chatkiller: theyre fucking??? does brendon know? does MIKE KNOW?
hey maybe brendon and mike will get torgether who knwos the possibolite are endless
wait why are u watching? are u recording them

coolio: ray no wtf theyre fighting not fucking :/

chatkiller: jfc why didnt u just say that then smh 

gerd: is it ignore gerard day today then

coolio: guys get down here now we're by the principals office!!!!

meikey: why fight there? like are they TRYING to get suspended
for the 20th time 

brdeno: see michael loook what u caused

supermike: what i caused??? brendon u slapped me with a dead fish 

frabj: tf did i just read

supermike: yea brendon slapped me with a dead fish 
and it somehow caused an argument
and now billie and dallon are fighting to the death to defend their men 

gerd: SOMEONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME

brdeno: gerard shut tf up we're having drama 

meikey: yea gerard let the drama happen

frabj: mikey ur a drama whore
boo u whore

chatkiller: o dear lord
no for real guys someone should come here and stop them
like theyre really murdering each other

coolio: i know its gr8
all this aCTION IS MAKING ME ESCITED

frabj: 'escited'

coolio: hey someoes gotta be illiterate now that dallons too busy slamming billie into the floor

supermike: looks like imma have to go save billies scrawny ass from leg man

brdeno: imma have to go save dallon
wait
no i dont bc billie cant fight for shit lmao 

chatkiller: um tre ur not helping by giving them things they can use as weapons

frabj: if u want soemthingd done right u gotta do it urself :/

brdeno: frANK WHAT???? 
U THREW A FUCKING GRAPEFRUIT AT DALLONS HEAD 
wHy??/??????!"?W.\me3

coolio: no not my grapefrut son D: poor little Jebediah 

meikey: jebediah 

coolio: jeb for short 

fallon: wow ty frank i have bits of grapefruit in my hair now 

coolio: correction
u have bits of JEBEDIAH IN UR HAIR 

fallon: U CANNOT NAME A FUCKING GRAPEFRUIT JEBDHIDEIAH 

supermike: imma name my first born son jebdhideiah 

 

- meikey renamed the group jebdhideiah

 

blowjob gaystrong: dallon im gonna murder u in ur sleep 

fallon: only bc u cant handle me when im awake 

frabj: if u cant handle me at my awake then u dont deserve me at my sleeping 

brdeno: frank that doesnt...
that doesnt make sense at all

gerd: if u cant handle me at my dallon u dont deserve me at my billie 

chatkiller: gerad that makes even less sense 

blowjob gaystrong: THE ENTIRE SQUAD IS FALLING APART BC OF U DALLON

fallon: U HIT ME FIRST U IMBECILE 

coolio: U MURDERED MY SON
MY ONE AND ONLY CHILD

 

- coolio renamed the group rip in pieces jebediah

 

brdeno: TRE SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT JEREMIAH 

supermike: 'jeremiah' 

brdeno: suck a cock mike

supermike: jokes on u i like sucking cock

 

- meikey removed fallon from jebdhideiah

 

- meikey removed blowjob gaystrong from jebdhideiah

 

- meikey removed supermike from jebdhideiah

 

- meikey removed brdeno from jebdhideiah

 

- meikey removed coolio from jebdhideiah

 

meikey: u can all come back when u calm tf down :)

chatkiller: theres not much of us left anymore 

frabj: wow this goes to show which ones of us are nice calm entities and which ones are HOSTILE 
im a good person 

gerd: mikey were u hopijng to solve this mess by removing them??

meikey: yes

gerd: well now dallon and billie are punching each other again
mikes shoving brendon away from them
and tres just being an ass and recording it 

frabj: tf is this even over??
like
i stg we dont fight like ever

chatkiller: the squad has fallen

meikey: brendon and mike were arguing 
a dead fish appeared
billie and dallon tried to sotop the argument
and then this mess happeend 

frabj: im like 90% sure thats the story of my birth
"and then this mess happened" 

gerd: hush now franklin
quit the emo shit 

chatkiller: should we add them back
like
have they stopped being violent liettle shits now

gerd: they have

meikey: 1 at a time so i can play dentist and question them
*detective 

frabj: dentistry requires questioning 

chatkiller: no it doesnt 

 

- meikey added brdeno to jebdhideiah

 

meikey brendon
what i shappenig

brdeno: i cannot feel my left testicle bc of mike :/

chatkiller: gr8 thanks for ur input 
NEXT

 

- meikey added blowjob gaystrong to jebdhideiah

 

meikey: billie boy
whats happening here

blowjob gaystrong: nothin at all why do u ask
but dallon did throw me through a door and the principal asked us to leave the school for 2 whole weeks 
i think hes getting tried of us 

gerd: o god have u guys been suspended agAIN? 
HOW MANY TIMES CAN U GET SUSPENDED I DONT GET THIS  H O W

frabj: lmao we like hardlu ever got in trouble before brendon and dallon came along 

chatkiller: uh yes we did 

 

- meikey added supermike to jebdhideiah

 

meikey: michael pls enlighten me
what the actual fuck is going on

supermike:idk bu t i kicked brendon in the balls 

brdeno: fuck u

 

- frabj added coolio to jebdhideiah

 

- frabj added fallon to jebdhideiah

 

frabj: now listen here u sorry shits
we dont have tiem to argue and gight about dead fish and whatnot
so geT UR ASSES HERE NOW AND EVERYONE APOLOGOSE AND THINGE WIL BE BETER

fallon: im over it now
as long as billie doesnt fucking jump on my back and start screeching again

blowjob gaystrong: twas my victory screech dallon
could u not handle it

fallon: no it hrut my ears
and anyway u had nothing to be victorious about u lost the fight

blowjob gaystrong: some say i lost, i say i won
its all just dust in the wind

supermike: what are u fuckong gay

blowjob gaystrong: only for u bae ;)

chatkiller: awe :')

brdeno: ha gayyyy

gerd: brendon shut tf uup 

Chapter Text

fallon: in need or serious help rn lads
how tf do u spel cocidinence

frabj: exactly like that :)

fallon: o ty frnak
also how do u spell disoprosonate

frabj: u already got it right dal :))

fallon: ty frank u saved me
and did i spell mitochondria right???

frabj: no its spelled michigan

fallon: alrighty thanks bye add me back when im out of english i cant afford to fuck up again

 

- fallon left jebdhideiah

 

coolio: damn frank u a savage
hes gonna murder u when he realises

brdeno: frank why didnt u read what he said about not fucking up again

frabj: im bored i have to entertain myself somehow
and wathing dallon fail miserably is v entertaining

gerd: sorry i find this fucking hlarous
like
imagine dallon standing up and proudly saying "michigan is the powerhouse of the cell"

brdeno: thats noT FUNNY GERARD JFC
OUR TEACHER IS GOING TO BE LIKE "YO DALLON WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK"

chatkiller: brendon u fuckwit ur in the same class just tell him frank was fucking with him

brdeno: i would 
but
i may or may not have been kicked out for backflipping off the tables

blowjob gaystrong: leave it to incredibillie

coolio: oh good bj ur alive i wondered where u were

supermike: soz we were busy :/

gerd: ;)

supermike: exactly gerard ;)

chatkiller: billie did u just naruto run down the hall

blowjob gaystrong: i did
im going to save dalmation 
*dallon lmaoo wtf

meikey: u could start by learning to spell his name right :)

blowjob gaystrong: eat pubes mikey 

 

- coolio renamed the group eat pubes mikey

 

chatkiller: coming this fall
101 dallons 

brdeno: ooh sexy ;)))
okay so dallons telling me to add him back in asap bc he needs to murder frank

frabj: lmAO BYE 

 

- frabj left eat pubes mikey

 

- brdeno added fallon to eat pubes mikey

 

fallon: I FUCKING TOLD THE ENTIRE CLASS THAT MICHIGAN IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL
M I C H I G A N

gerd: u gotta admit its a lil funny 

blowjob gaystrong: lmao rip i naruto ran into the wrong class

meikey: oh hi billie 
look at the back of the room
am waving at u

blowjob gaystrong: i waved back

meikey: i saw 

gerd: stipp being gay and billie get out of mikeys lass
*class

fallon: yea bj get out of mikeys lass :/
cheating is wrong 

coolio: ive suddenly lost the ability to read in an accent that isnt scottish so everythinsg hilarious at the moment

chatkiller: "get out of mikeys lass, lad" the scottish man says as he comes home to find billie fucking mikeys wife 

gerd: its always scottish men isnt it 

meikey: i wasnt aware i had a wife
who is she

supermike: ur wife is pete wentz 

meikey: eW MIKE NO GROSS I DONT EVEN LIKE PETE WTF 

brdeno: someones getting defensive 

meikey: I DONT FUCKING LIKE PETE GO AWAY BRENDON 

 

- meikey left eat pubes mikey

 

chatkiller: we're gonna have to change the name
u cant tell mikey to eat pubes if hes not here 

 

- coolio renamed the group eat pubes mikey (who isnt currently here but whatever)

 

fallon: wow tre gr8 work 

coolio: ty dallon ur so sweat :)

blowjob gaystrong: 'sweat' tre why

fallon: haha fucker now whos illicit 

 

- supermike renamed the group eat pubes everyone apart from mikey bc he isnt here

 

coolio: mike no why 
u got it wrong franks nit here either

 

- coolio renamed the group eat pubes everyone apart from mikey and frank bc they arent here

 

gerd: guys weshould add pete and then add mikey abck and it will be surprive fr him

fallon: gerad this group only has room for one itilternate 
and that me

 

- fallon removed gerd from eat pubes everyone apart from mikey and frank bc they arent here

 

- brdeno renamed the group ear pubes everyone apart from mikey frank and gerard bc they arent here

 

blowjob gaystrong: 'ear pubes'
ty for that image brendon :/

brdeno: lol sorry i spent too much time with dallon he made me illiterate 

 

- brdeno renamed the group eat pubes everyone apart from mikey frank and gerard bc they arent here

 

chatkiller: CAN WE STOP TALKIG ABOUT PUBES PLS

 

- supermike changed chatkiller's nickname to PUBE

 

PUBE: wow mike thats the complete opposite of what i wanted but hey whatevs

coolio: im gunna add pete 
we're homies

blowjob gaystrong: tre he threw his lunch at u yesterday :/

coolio: hush william 

blowjob gaystrong: my name isnt william

coolio: hush

 

- coolio added Pete Wentz to eat pubes everyone apart from mikey frank and gerard bc they arent here

 

PUBE: tre this would work a lot better if mikey was actually in the group 

coolio: doNT QUESTION MY MOTIVES leave me alone

 

- coolio added meikey to eat pubes everyone apart from mikey frank and gerard bc they arent here

 

coolio: might as well add the entire fam right

 

- coolio added gerd to eat pubes everyone apart from mikey frank and gerard bc they arent here

 

- coolio added frabj to eat pubes everyone apart from mikey frank and gerard bc they arent here

 

fallon: uggh now we gotta rename the group 

 

- blowjob gaystrong renamed the group eat pubes everyone including mikey frank and gerard bc theyre back now

 

brdeno: billie ur doing it wrong
watch ane leanr

 

- brdeno renamed the group eat pubes everyone including mikey frank and gerard bc theyre back now but not pete bc he didnt do anything wrong yet

 

meikey: wow u guys have been WILD while we were gone
wAIT
FUCKING PETE???? 

Pete Wentz: hello mikey 
did u miss me
from the last time i saw u which was this morning but its been a solid 3 or 4 hours sicne then so idk u might have mssed me

frabj: oh my god pete shut up

Pete Wentz: i came out to have a good tme and im honsetly feeling so attacked right now 

supermike: oh did u actually come out

meikey: mICHAEL 
U CANNOT JUST ASK SOMEONE THAT
ANYHOO
bye pete have fun 

 

- meikey removed Pete Wentz from eat pubes everyone including mikey frank and gerard bc theyre back now but not pete bc he didnt do anything wrong yet

 

brdeno: oh wow mikey now i have to chnage it again bc petes not here

gerd: how about we levae the changelings to me 
*changing

fallon: changelings 

 

- gerd renamed the group nobody eat pubes

 

PUBE: ah gerard 
the pillar of our community 

 

- fallon renamed the group gerard lord of the changelings 

 

meikey: this griup chat is giving me gray hairs i stg
so im gonna turn my phone off until u lot stop being asshats 

coolio: oh mikey
sweet mikey
so mature 

meikey: suck my fucking cock tre 

brdeno: welp im going home i have fuck all else to do(apart from dallon wink wink nudge nudge)
and remember kids
michigan is the powerhouse of the cell

fallon: im divorcing u </3

brdeno: i want custard of the children

supermike: 'custard of the children' 

coolio: delicious 

frabj: trE NO 

Chapter Text

supermike: merry crisis u gays
*chrysler 
what the actual fuck
merry christmas

PUBE: yea merry crisis to u too mike 
but why are u up at 2am

supermike: its christmas ray i am an excited child

brdeno: fuck u guys i was acryally asleep for once

PUBE: put ur phone on silent then brendon smh 

brdeno: my phone is on silent
dallons isnt tho 

PUBE: whys dallons phone at ur house tho

brdeno: bc dallons here too?

supermike: and why  dallon at urs
wait nvm dont answer that

fallon: we were doing the sex ;)))
also brendon threw a pillwo at me and woke me up so hi

frabj: guys go to sleep or santa wont come 
im waking gerard up

gerd: tell me
why are we awake at ass oclock again

brdeno: i didnt know ass oclock was a time gerard

supermike: its always ass oclock here
u know
bc we're all gay
well idk about tre mikey and ray but the rest of us are

brdeno: mikeys deifinitely gay for pete wentz
wait is he eveb awake

gerd: no ist all good

PUBE: my phones on silent but i can still tell when ur all being idiots

frabj: ty ray

PUBE: its not a complimet 
also petition to change the am hours to ass o'clock 

fallon: whats the time? 
oh its ass o cock 
fuCK *CLOCK THAT WASNT EVEN INTENOnal oH mY GoD

supermike: 'intenonal' 

meikey: gerad hissed trying no tot laugh loud and now im awake
whats going on u gays
i am nOT FUCKING GAY FOR PETE WENTZ WHATS WRONG WITH U ALL

 

- meikey left gerard lord of the changelings 

 

brdeno: here we go again smh :/

 

- gerd added meikey to gerard lord of the changelings 

 

gerd: mikey will u fucking behave urself ur embarrassing me in front of my colleagues 

PUBE: when u have no friends so u call ppl ur 'colleagues' 
same gerard same

frabj: ray leave him alone :( 

coolio: hello i have arisen also im sad bc my advent calendar has no chocolate left :'(

brdeno: i ate all mine in august 

gerd: brendon why did u have an advent calendar in august

brdeno: for science gerard for science 

meikey: we seem to do an awful lot "for science" in this chat 

blowjob gaystrong: i started the science
wai t that makes it sound like i invented science 

fallon: blowjob gaystrong - inventor of science 
also
anyone wanna hang out later after all the family shits over
bc as much as i love them ic annot spend all fukvijng day with them

gerd: yea me and frabk can

coolio set the nickname for frabj to frabk

frabk: gerard i dont appreciate u making my lice choices foe me
and tre i dont aprpeciate u chnaging my nickname -.-

gerd: lice choices
sorry im controlling ur lice :/

fallon: mice
mous
tom and jerry 

meikey: can u fucktards go to sleep pls
santa wont come if ur awake

brdeno: hm thats funny i can only come when im awake

supermike: brENDON NO

blowjob gaystrong: as much as i love the general ass-ness and stupdisity of everyone here
i am v v v tired and am going to sleep

coolio: yea its late asf and i want santa to come so night u gays 

blowjob gaystrong: merry crisis and a happy newfangledness

supermike: im callinh theh policde

fallon: they dony listen to iterlilerates sorry mike :/

Chapter Text

supermike: guys guys guys guys guys guys guys

meikey: what 

supermike: mine and billies new history teacher is called mr lassnier
we chose to cal him mr lannister 

brdeno: ooh which lannister is he??
i hope jaime 
jaimes hot 

fallon: u M excUSE ME?
i much prefer lancel 

brdeno: fuck lancel

fallon: exactly brendon ;)

blowjob gaystrong: im not sure whats going on but stop
also hes old hes definitely tywin 

coolio: hes pretty fine too 
tywin lannister is daddy asf

PUBE: what a nice way to start the day :)

frabk: so tywin lannister is ur new history teacher
good to know
in other news

coolio: frank no this is not helpful information

frabk: ppl still ship tre and t he prinicpal and thers now erotic fan art of them 

frabk sent  a photo to gerard lord of the changelings 

fallon: wow the principal is HUNG 

brdeno: im leaving u
go and fuck the  principal if it makes u happy :(

fallon: go and fuck jaime lannister 

brdeno: go and fuck lancel lannister

fallon: k byeee

 

- fallon left gerard lord of the changelings 

 

coolio: that picture is obvious;y wrong
my dick is way bigger than the principals 

brdeno: mt beloved has left me for a fictional character :'(

blowjob gaystrong: 'mt beloved' 

frabk: mount beloved
population: brendon and dallon

supermike: and lancel lannister 

brdeno: I WILL SHOVE LANCEL LANNISTER UP UR ASSHOLE MICHAEL 

blowjob gaystrong: um brendon only i have Parmesan to shove things up mikes ass :/
*parmesan
*parental
i fucking give up what is this fuckery

gerd: E X P O S E D
billie shoves parmesan cheese up mikes ass 

supermike: pls bby ;)

frabk: NO FLIRTING WITH BAE
BAD MIKE 

 

- frabk removed supermike from gerard lord of the changelings 

 

coolio: im rlly hungry i could go for some cheese rn

PUBE: its up mikes ass

coolio: well u know where i'll be ;)

meikey: trE NO WTF GET OUT OF MIKES ASS

blowjob gaystrong: can we stop talking about mikes ass now pls 

PUBE: we can
also can someone change my nickname this is dumb

 

- coolio changed PUBE's nickname to fro daddy

 

fro daddy: trE NO 

meikey: and ppl wonder why we're all failing high school

 

- brdeno added fallon to gerard lord of the changelings 

 

frabk: oh dallon ur back
did u fuck lancel lannister 

fallon: no frank i didnt fuck lancel lannister bc hes not real

gerd: but u would fuck lancel lannister if he was real?

fallon: oh yea definitely 

brdeno: well id fuck jaime lannister any day
kingslayer more like ASS slayer amirite 

coolio: no one mentions tywin???
i would totally fuck tywin lannister 

blowjob gaystrong: trE NO 

coolio: thats the 3rd time ive been told no in the past 3 minites 
im not allowed to go in mikes ass for the parmesan cheese that billie shoved up there
im not allowed to change rays name to a name that fits him very well
im not even allowed to fuck tywin lannister who is in fact my daddy
what am i allowed to do

meikey: ur allowed to shut tthe fuck up
actually i encourage it

coolio: the disrespect 

fallon: this is stressful im adding mike back

 

- fallon added supermike to gerard lord of the changelings 

 

blowjob gaystrong: welcome back dearly beloved welcome back

supermike: i see thinsg got even weirder when i left
and there isnt any cheese up my ass wtf

gerd: allthis talk of the lannister men is confusing 

frabk: how come no one mesntion tyrion 

coolio: eh hes no tywin

meikey: tre stop talking about tywin lannister 

brdeno: cmon guys jaimes where its at

fallon: u misspelled lancel
l a n c e l

brdeno: dallon ur in no position to be telling anyoen how to spell
u know
on accoutn of u being illiterate and all

fallon: for the last fucuking time brendon 
i am not instrumental 

frabk: yea bren hes not instrumental jfc :/

gerd: frank dont get involbed in their hostilities 

fro daddy: dallon how tf do u keep misspelling illiterate wheN TS CLEARKY WRITTEN RUGHT THRERE

brdeno: dont attack my man billie how dare u

fallon: excuse me brendon lancel lannister is my man

brdeno: o H
WELL THEN
I GUESS IM NOT GOOD ENIUYYGH

fro daddy: guys pls dont have a(nother) domestic over lancel fucking lannister
i mean tywin is obviously more worth the effort 

meikey: shuT THE FUCK UP ABOUT TYWIN LANNISTER JFC 

blowjob gaystrong: NOW U KNOW HOW WE FELT ABOUT HARRY TRUMAN

meikey: LEAVE HARRY TRUMAN OUT OF THIS BILLIE I SWEAR TO GOD

Chapter Text

blowjob gaystrong: i can never enter biology again
i can never enter this school again
im going to change my name and move far away
i'll become an isolated sheep herder in iceland

fro daddy: why whaat th hell did u do this time

blowjob gaystrong: i said bird cage instead of rib cage
do u know what this means

meikey: that ur a fucking idiot

 

- blowjob gaystrong removed meikey from gerard lord of the changelings

 

blowjob gaystrong: hostility and negativity aside
i can never show my face around here again
so i guess this is goodbye

gerd: k bye

blowjob gaystrong: are u not sad???

gerd: u ate my fucking cereal
of course im not sad

 

- fallon renamed the group bird cage

 

blowjob gaystrong: daLLON 
the DISRESPECT 

 

- blowjob gaystrong left bird cage

 

supermike: yoo billie just packed his shit and left 
kicked a chair over 
hang on he wants me to add him back

 

- supermike added blowjob gaystrong to bird cage

 

blowjob gaystrong: i didnt kick the chair
i tripped over it
bye again

 

- blowjob gaystrong left bird cage

 

brdeno: whats wrong with him

supermike: he called his rib cage a bird cage and embarrassed himself in front of 20+ kids that hate him
then got lightly roasted by mikey and gerard said he isnst sad
then tripped over a chair on his way out

coolio: its enough to drive anyone insane 

gerd: its really not 
he just  throwing a tantrum 

fro daddy: ur just in a mood bc he ate ur cereal

gerd: it waS MY FUCKING CEREAL RAY 

supermike: text from bj:
"i know u fuckers are roasting me in the chat"

brdeno: jfc whats eating him

fallon: whats eating gilbert grape
more like whats eating billie joe armstrong 

 

- fro daddy renamed the group whats eating billie joe armstrong 

 

frabk: hi i was in the principals office what did i miss

coolio: just bj tjrowing a bitch fit

frabk: ah
i see

 

- frabk added blowjob gaystrong to whats eating billie joe armstrong 

 

supermike: billieeeee 
u returned from the war

blowjob gaystrong: fucking bird cages and rib cages causing drama

frabk: i agree

gerd: ill make peaches with u if u promise to never eat my cereal again ever 
peaches
peace 

blowjob gaystrong: no ty i'll pass i dont wanna make peaches with u 

gerd: bILLIE
I MEANT PEACE

blowjob gaystrong: ugh fine

fallon: now the drama over
im bored 

fro daddy: lmao is anyobe gonna add mikey back

gerd: oops i forgot about him

supermike: gerard how tf can u forget about ur brother

 

- gerd added meikey to whats eating billie joe armstrong 

 

gerd: we'll hear no more of it michael

brdeno: guys guys guys
fuck marry kill out of me mikey and tre 

meikey: did this turn into a sleepover while iw as gone

brdeno: yes

frabk: i would definitely kill u bren
and probably marry mikey bc he makes sensible life choices
like if i married tre i would end up dead or in jail
so i guess i'd fuck tre

gerd: id have to kill mikey bc hes my brother and im not fucking or marryig him
id fuck brendon bc i couldnt deal with being marreid to him
and id marry tre and have grapefruit children called jebediah 

coolio: good choice good choice 

supermike: fuck marry kill
me billie and dallon

blowjob gaystrong: id kill myself
fuck dallon
ad marry u <3

brdeno: no ones fucking dallon aparr from me

fro daddy: fuck marry kill out of harry truman tywin lannister and the pricipal

meikey: i for one would fuck harry truman

gerd: why doesnt that surprise me

fallon: id fuck tywin
kill harry truman
and marry the principal

coolio: the pricipal is MIKE dallon
*MINE

supermike: im the principal guys
detention tre off u fuck 

 

- blowjob gaystrong changed supermike's nickname to principal mike

 

blowjob gaystrong: u know im into authority figures michael ;))

brdeno: oH MY GOD BILLIE SHUT UP 

meikey: wtf is this 

coolio: exposed
billie wants to fuck the principal 

principal mike: ofc he does tre
im the princpal 

fro daddy: whats ur first move as principal mike

principal mike: im expelling dallon bc hes illiterate 

fallon: im not illiterate ffs 

brdeno: WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY
DALLON SPELLED ILLITERATE RIGHT???

gerd: THERE SINGING IN THE STREETS
AND DANCING IN THE SKY

meikey: what

frabk: REJOICE REJOICE REJOICE
DALLON ISNT ILLITERATE 

blowjob gaystrong: WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

coolio: THE GODS HEARD OUR PRAYERS AND CURED HIM OF HIS ILLITERATE 
DALLON HOW DO U FELL ON THE GRLORIOUS DAY

fallon: ha u guys are dumb
i copied and pasted 
i dont know how to spell ilietalrelte 

Chapter Text

- Tré Cool added Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Ray Toro, Frank Iero, Brendon Urie, and Dallon Weekes to heLP

 

Tré Cool: i know its 5am and i know ur all probably hungover and/or asleep buT I NEED HELP 
ITS SERIOUS 
guys
gUYS
GUYS FUCKING WAKE UP

Ray Toro: oh my GOD tre what
why is there another group? did u delete the old one

Tré Cool: no
but billie and mike are in the other one

Ray Toro: yea and??????

Tré Cool: they cant know about this 

Mikey Way: rad party last nigh guys 
i woke up in a tutu 
also tre whats up

Brendon Urie: d y i n g
i cant even remember what happened 

Mikey Way: yea u were completery fucked lmao
and i think dallon might have ate a whole tub of flour 

Dallon Weekes: i did 

Gerard Way: ha dallons a flour child

Brendon Urie: flour child flour child flour child

 

- Brendon Urie changed Dallon Weekes's nickname to flour child

 

Ray Toro: flour power

Tré Cool: guys

Frank Iero: whys there a new chat

Tré Cool: im getting to that
if u fuckwits will listen for 5 minuets

 

flour child changed Brendon Urie's nickname to beebo 

 

beebo: dallon no

flour child: dallon yes

Tré Cool: gUYS PLS

Gerard Way: guys tre wants to speak

Tré Cool: ty gerard 
anyhoo
i did soemthing last night 

Frank Iero: consumed a lot of alcohol
sang we are number one 
pissed in the fish tank
climbed in the bin and refused to come out

beebo: ha bin boy

 

- beebo changed Tré Cool's nickname to bin boy

 

bin boy: o h m Y G O D 
WILL U ASSHATS FUCIKING LISTENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Ray Toro: cmon guys lets LISTENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Mikey Way: tre it cant be that serious 
like
we alldid a loy of weird shit lats night

bin boy: no u dont understanr
i did something rlly messed up and evil
and im a terrble person 

flour child: uve always been a terrrible person tre 
u have to be slightly terrible to b part of thus squad

bin boy: no no no no u dont understanr
i fucked mike

Frank Iero: oH

Gerard Way: OH 

Ray Toro: i would say trE NO 
but this sounds pretttty serious 

beebo: tre hate to break it to u buddy but mikes w/ billie 

bin boy: i know that brendon u actual piece of fucking lemon

Ray Toro: "i know that brendon u actual piece of fucking lemon" tre cool 2016

Mikey Way: um ray its 2017 now

Ray Toro: sorry lemme fix that
"i know that brendon u actual piece of fucking lemon" - tre cool 2017 

flour child: shouldnr we be focusig on the fact that tRE FUCKED MIKE??

Gerard Way: we should
tre why the fuck did u do the do with mike when u know hes w/ bj

bin boy: alcohol was involved
we were both VERY drunk
i can barely remember it but there was definitely sex 

beebo: well does mike remember?

 

- Mikey Way added Mike Dirnt to heLP

 

bin boy: mIKEY WHAT TTHE ACTUAL FUCK WHATS IS WRONG WITH U 

Gerard Way: ususlaly this would be hilarious but miKEY WHAT THE FUCKKK

Mike Dirnt left heLP

Ray Toro: he left the group uncomfortably fast 

flour child: ur point being??

Ray Toro: well he didnt ahve time toread all the messages
so
that means he left bc he remembers

Frank Iero: or or or 
mayb he left bc he has to get rid of his phoen bc the italian mafia is tracking him through his phone

beebo: frank in what world would that be a realistic thing

Frank Iero: it happebed to me once

Mikey Way: ha i remember that 
good times good times

Frank Iero: mikey
the italian mafia does not fuck around

Gerard Way: frank talking like he personally knows the italian mafia 

Frank Iero: they tracked me through my phone gerard ofc i personally konow them
we're practically besties 

flour child: otp: frank iero/italian mafia 

beebo: what about tre/principal 

Mikey Way: or... or
tre/mike

Ray Toro: MICHAEL JAMES WAY GO TO UR ROOM

Mikey Way: i am in my room mom

Ray Toro: then go to gerards room

Gerard Way: no pls dont 

flour child: mikey we have the same middle name

Mikey Way: ayyy

flour child: ayyy

bin boy: ARE U DICKFUCKS THAT STUPID??
I FUCKED MY BEST FRIEND WHO JUST SO HAPPENSS TO BE MY OTHER BEST FRIENDS BOYFRIEND 
BUT NONE OF U WANKSTAINS WILL FUCKING HELP
AL L U CARE ABOUT IS THE ITALIAN MAFIA AND MIKEY AND DALLON SHARING A MIDDLE NAME

Frank Iero: hey:(((
i thought i was ur best friend :(

bin boy: i fuckiujng giVE UPPPP cyuoiejfihjbdhvHAGFSCdrfvgsbhnjkln\ihbVUGCFXdiygeo[

 

- bin boy removed Mikey Way from heLP

 

- bin boy removed Frank Iero from heLP 

 

- bin boy removed Gerard Way from heLP

 

- bin boy removed Ray Toro from heLP

 

- bin boy removed flour child from heLP

 

- bin boy removed beebo from heLP

 

- bin boy left heLP

Chapter Text

blowjob gaystrong: mike u lil shit i know ur seeing my messages 
fuckin reply 

 

- principal mike left whats eating billie joe armstrong 

 

blowjob gaystrong: guys help
what tf is up with mike

fallon: what do u mean bj we havent noticed anything up with him

fro daddy: dallon pls

blowjob gaystrong: well like after the party he was just gone and said he spent the night at tres 
but like hes not in class and he wont repkly to messages for some reason

brdeno: hm idk why like we dont know anything
why would we know anything and not tell u 
ur our friend ofc we woudl tell u something 

frabk: brendon just shut up

blowjob gaystrong: oh fuck whtat if i did something dumb when i was drunk
pls tell me one of u kept an eye on me

meikey: tre pm me 

coolio: no

meikey: fucking do as ur told u little shit

fro daddy: this is a trainwreck 
b y e 

 

- fro daddy left whats eating billie joe armstrong

 

blowjob gaystrong: why do i get the feeling u fuckers know more than ur letting on

frabk: lmao no why would we know 

gerd: what frank said
we dont know shit

blowjob gaystrong: u guys are horrendous at lying but whatevs
if u all wanna be fucking stupid ass fuckasses then go ahead 
fuck u all

brdeno: whoa whOA W H O A
hostile much bj 

blowjob gaystrong: what do u fucking exoect brendon 
somethinsg wrong with mike and none of u will tell me what
hes the fucking love of my life i cant picture myself without him and now its all fucked up and none of u wil tell me what happened
i would die for that boy i stg i love him so fucking much 

fallon: o shit bj used boy instead of boi this is serious

gerd: ofc its fucking serious dallon were u not in tres new group????

blowjob gaystrong: wait what
what group

gerd: what
no one said group
i d idnt say group 
w h a t

fallon: congratulations gerard ur officially a fuCKING EGG

gerd: at least eggs get laid 

meikey: o shIT DALLON JUST GOT FUCKING REKT

frabk: dallon m8
u could literally get set on fire and thrown into a pool of lava but it still wouldnt burn as much as what gerard just said 

fallon: honsestlly i am so hurt rn 

 

- fallon left whats eating billie joe armstrong 

 

brdeno: mikes gone
rays gone
and now dallons gone

blowjob gaystrong: u wilL ALL BE FUCKING GONE IN A MINUTE IF NO ONE FUCKIJNG TELLS ME WHATS GOING ON 

meikey: tre

coolio: bj did u mean all that about mike

blowjob gaystrong: ofc i did
i cannot physically express how much he means to me
like
i see him evertday and i talk to him almots constantly and now he wont even fuckinh ackknwledge my existance and it hurts so much
but i still love him more than ive ever loved anyone or anything ever 
and anyone who comes between us will fucking regret being born i stg

coolio: oh

 

- coolio left whats eating billie joe armstrong 

 

meikey: oh my god
i cant deal rn
too much drama

gerd: damn even the drama enthusiast cant handel this much drama

brdeno: this episode of group chat
things go from insanely horrible to even more insanely horrible 

blowjob gaystrong: wHY WONT ANYONE FUCKING TELL ME STRAIGHT WHATS HAPPENING

frabk: bc ur not straigt billie

blowjob gaystrong: FRANK WHEN I GET HOLD OF U I WILL FUCKING SHOVE A PINEAPPLE UP UR ASSHOLE

frabk: o H

meikey: im sad to say it boyz 
but theres only one way to settle thus

 

- meikey added coolio to whats eating billie joe armstrong

 

meikey: tre just fucking get it over with and maybe u will live to see ur next birtdhay 

coolio: kms

blowjob gaystrong: what??????
tre what did u do

coolio: well there wa sthis incident last nigth
and i know im a terrible disgusting horrible fucking scumbag but
me and mike had drunk sex and he remembers which is why he wont talk to u 

brdneo: hes not responding thats worrying 

frabk: i can see into his class
hes sort of dazed looking
staring at his phone 

meikey: frank stop sraring at him

frabk: special agent frank doing the sneaky sneak
he locked his phone
o shit

coolio: omf what
what have i caused now

frabk: he threw his phone at he wall and walked out 
oh
oh no
oh my god no 

brdeno: ??

gerd: what 

coolio: frank whAT HE DOING

frabk: hes crying tre
u made billie cry 
o dear lord this isnt just regular crying fuCK 
hes fucking full on sobbing right there in the hall
he saw me abort mission abORT MISSION 

 

- blowjob gaystrong left whats eating billie joe armstrong

 

coolio: kill me
just fuckigbn anhiliat e me

gerd: now tre is not the end of the world
maybe the end of ur friendship with billie and mike

meikey: gerard ur not helping

gerd: shut up mikey yes i am

coolio: no gerard ur rlly not 

gerd: rood

 

- meikey added fro daddy to whats eating billie joe armstrong 

 

- meikey added fallon to whats eating billie joe armstrong

 

meikey: shows over folks
tre told billie
billie cried and left the groupo
we're all gonne die

frabk: um shouldtt we like chaneg the group name 

 

- fallon renamed the group rip billie/mike 2016-2017

 

brdeno: dalLON NO 

coolio: althogh this is a horrible day that wil haunt me for the rest of the afterlife 
its nice to see someone else being told no 

Chapter Text

brdeno: update on the billie/mike/tre clusterfuck: everyone is screaming and fighting and i made the mistaek of telling billie to calm down

gerd: yea no u should never tell bj to calm down
it just makes him even madder 

brdeno: fuckin tell me about it i never knew somoen so smol could be so E V I L

fro daddy: hes 5 feet of anger and demonic wrath 

frabk: yea billies basically a gremlin 

meikey: brendon what are u even doing getting in the middle of the clusterfuck thats dangerous u could get hurt

brdeno: i did get hurt
billie hit me with a chair

fallon: gonna kick that boys ass >:(

meikey: dallon pls dont make th8ngs worse 
*things

 

- gerd renamed the group th8ngs 

 

meikey: gerad fuck off 

 

- frabk changed gerd's nickname to gerad

 

coolio: frank i will HANG u

frabk: :0

coolio: u were the one who said talkig to bilie and mike would fix things 
now my nose is broken mike has no shirt or shoes and billies head is stuck through the window 

meikey: o dear
this needs to be sorted out like rn
i will handle 

fallon: mikey noah fence but u literally make everything 10x worse when u "help"

meikey: i take a fence

brdeno: mikey u cannot just take fences put it back

frabk: mikey the fence stealer

brdeno: mikey the fence fucker

frabk: feNCEFUCKER 

 

- frabk changed meikey's nickname to fencefucker

 

fencefucker: omf wiLL U GUYS FUCKING STOP JFC CAN WE NOT HAVE A MATURE FUCKING DISCUSSION FOR 5 MOTHERFUCKING SECONDS 

fallon: no

 

- fencefucker changed their own nickname to mikey

 

mikey: fuckong stop

brdeno: fuckong

coolio: as muchg as i love t when we all act  like asses
this does need to be sortred before billie and mike murder each  other

mikey: just leave it to me 

frabk: whoa watch out
mikey the fence fucker to the rescue 

mikey: frANK STOP
imma need u all to leave for a few
apart form tre
i ned him

gerd: um no???

mikey: um yes???

 

- mikey removed gerd from th8ngs 

 

- mikey removed frabk from th8ngs

 

- mikey removed fro daddy from th8ngs

 

- mikey removed fallon from th8ngs

 

- mikey removed brdeno from th8ngs

 

mikey: tre are u ready for this
ngl there will prbably be a L O T of shouting/swearing/insulting

coolio: no im not rready mikey dont do it

mikey: keep calm and remember ur training

coolio: my what

mikey: ur training tre remember it

coolio: ic ant renemebr it wtf 

mikey: uGH FFS TRE U HAD ONE JOB
lmao jk jk 
but seriously are u ready

coolio: no

mikey: gr8 lets get to it

 

- mikey added blowjob gaystrong to th8ngs

 

- mikey added principal mike to th8ngs

 

mikey: i would like to welcome u all here today to this lovely griup chat
i am ur host mikeyway but u can jus call me mikey 
there seem to be an issue with relationships/boyfriends/drunk sex and i am here to fix things :)

blowjob gaystrong: thers nothing to fix im done with both mike and tre

coolio: billie pls before u flip out and leave im sorry 

blowjob gaystrong: o ur sorry???? 

coolio: im really sorry i didnt wanna come between u and mike ur like my otp 

blowjob gaystrong: tre listen closely
u saying sorry for fucking my boyfriend
is basically the same as when u crashed that stolen truck into my house

coolio: ??

blowjob gaystrong: u knocked an entire wall down and tried to tape it together
what im sayng is
IT DOESNT FUCKING FIX THINGS

principal mike: can i speak 

blowjob gaystrong: no mike fuck off i dont wanna talk to u 

mikey: guys pls

principal mike: what happeed between me and tre doesnt mean anything

coolio: exactly 
thers no love or anything
just a lot of alcohol and meaningless sex

principal mike: billie i legit love u like forreal 
i dont love tre we were just v drunk

blowjob gaystrong: idgaf ur both shitheads 
mike im done go fuck tre if u want i dont love u anymore 
tre ur not my fren anymore 
byeee

 

- blowjob gaystrong left th8ngs

 

principal mike: wow this is fun
hahaHA pls end my fucking life

mikey: mike there plenty of fish in the sea

principal mike: i dont want fish mikey i want billie but ig i fucked that up fo rgood now 

coolio: imma just erase myself from existence 

coolio left th8ngs

mikey: oh my god this is a mess

principal mike: am i still part of the squad
even tho im literal trash 

mikey: mike we are all literal trash here ofc ur still part of the squad
so is tre and so is billie
we'll get over this 

principal mike: i donr think we will

 

- mikey added gerad to th8ngs

 

- mikey added frabk to th8ngs

 

- mikey added fro daddy to th8ngs

 

- mikey added brdeno to th8ngs

 

- mikey added fallon to th8ngs

 

- mikey added coolio to th8ngs

 

fallon: so how did it go

principal mike: horribly 

fallon: gr8 :)

brdeno: dallon...

gerad: someone should message bj 

frabk: bugsy not messaging the gremlin 

fro daddy: frank dont be fucking rude 

fallon: imma be sneaky sneak and go hang round  with bj
fake that im not frens with u guys anymore so i can fix this mess
from now on we are not friends okay

brdeno: wair can we still have sex

fallon: obvioulsy 

brdeno: aw yisssssss

Chapter Text

fallon: okayyy so u guys know there was a talent show right????

fro daddy: no what

gerad: what talebt show

fallon: smh
there was a talon show right
*taletn show

brdeno: talon show more like dallon show amirite 

 

- frabk renamed the group the dallon show

 

fallon: ooh the dallon show
is it a reality shwo??

mikey: yea the camera dudes basically follow u around while u battle ur illiterateness 

fallon: o that sounds FUN im a reality star 

coolio: in other news: me and mike made a pact

gerad: um should u 2 be doing anything together after the drama this has caused

principal mike: shut up gerard
me and tre made a pact to not mention him until he wants to see us

brdeno: ooh wait whos him

fallon: how are u guys doing the italics 

principal mike:  its a secret 

brdeno:  only us magic folk can do it ;)

frabk:  its not hard dallon 
wait wait wait does this have something do with ur illiterateness 

fallon: omf stOP THE ITALIANS 
ITALICS 

fro daddy: STOP THE ITALIANS 2K17

mikey: what are the italins doing now

brdeno: tracking frank through his phoen again

frabk: 0/10 bad joke brendon 

 

- principal mike renamed the group fucking pay attention u little fuckers 

 

principal mike: now i have ur attention
him starts with b and ends in e 

mikey: banshee 

coolio: yes mikey we're not allowed to mention the banshee until he wants to see us 

gerad: u just mention him tho tre 

fro daddy: i didnt know there was a banshee in the school

fallon: whta the hell is a banshee 

frabk: shh dallon we're not allwoed to talk about it 

dallon: o right sorry :/

principal mike: no guys its not a banshee

frabk: bondage startes with b and ends in e

coolio: we're definietl not allwoe to talk about bondage no 

principal mike: oh ffs we're not mentioning BILLIE until he actually wants to see us which will probably be never but hey whatever my heart is already broken 

brdeno: i didnt know u had a hearse mike
sorry i read heart as hearse let me exit 

fro daddy: mike u just mentioned billie tho

frabk: ray ffs stop talkig aboutbillie its upsetting mike and tre

gerad: shut tf up about billie hes not even in the group its rude to talk about people when theyre not here

frabk: its also rude to tell people to shut tf up gerard :/

mikey: wait dallon what were u saying about a talent show???

fallon: O RITE I FORGOT
anyway
there was a talent show that none of u went to bc u didnt know it existed
but i went and guess what fuckign happened

brdeno: the ceiling collapsed and everybody died

fallon: yes brendon everybody died including me i am now a ghost

brdeno: oh rad

fallon: but forreal geuss what happened 

coolio: none of us were there how would we know

fallon: fine ill tell u
billie grabbed the microphone and yelled "this is a public service announcement: mike dirnts a dirty whore" and then scuttled away

frabk: scuttled 
i wasnt aware he was a mouse

fallon: my english teacher told me to use more impregnated words 

fro daddy: 'impregnate' dallon are u sure u dont mean imaginative 

principal mike: okay u know what I AM FUCKING DONE TRYNNG TO BE NICE IM GONNA FUCKING E N D THAT LITTLE BASTARD 

brdeno: dallon why did u say anthubg look what u caused

mikey: actually i believe mike and tre caused this by drunkenly hooking up

coolio: miKEY GO SUCK A FUCKING COCK I STG

principal mike: TOMORROW BILLIE DIES 

brdeno: YEAAA

gerad: brendon why are u cheering this isnt billies fault

coolio: but billie is making it way worse than it has to be

gerad: in all fairness u did fuck his boyrfriend tre :/

coolio: oh really thank u for telling me that gerard i fucking forgot in the 5 minutes since someone last mentioned it

mikey: tre noah fence but u dont need to be a dick about this

principal mike: neitehr do u mikey 

fro daddy: the squad is falling 

coolio: the squad is B R O K E N 

brdeno: *gasp*

fallon: *also gasp*

frabk: *doesnt gasp bc i have seen the horrors of this world i have seen the heartache and the pain and the loss i know exactly how this vicious world works i have seen this all before* 

mikey: frank what the fuck 

Chapter Text

mikey: im dONE I CANNOT HANDLE THIS ANY LONGER I JUST GOT CAUGHT IN MIDDLE OF BILLIE/MIKE/TRE WW3 SHIT 

frabk: malcolm in the middle more like mikey in the middle ayyyy

 

- coolio renamed the group mikey in the middle

 

fro daddy: wait what

mikey: basically right i tried to talk to billie to see if hes willing to be frens w/ mike+tre again 

gerad: thats a bad idea already
u know how bj gets

mikey: no gerard thats not the bad thing bc billie saID YES HE MIGHT BE FRENS W/ THEM AGAIN AS LONG AS EVERYONE STOPS BEING JACKASSES 
HURRAH I SOLVED IN GO ME

fallon: hey im supposed to be solbing it wtf mikey dont stealy my glands 
*glory 
soryr i cannot spell rn 

frabk: gosh mikey give dallon his glands back :/

mikey: never 
they mine now

brdeno: glands and shit aside
BILLIE IS WILLING TO MAKE UP WITH TRIKE??

coolio: brendon what the hell is trike

brdeno: u and mikes ship name duhh

principal mike: brendon pls dont 
me and tre are not a couple 

fallon: anyway 
mikey is everything fixed now??

mikey: HA i wish
after billie said he would make up w/ everyone mike just so happeend to turn up and everything went to hell and they started fighting
billie literally yelled "CASH ME OUSSIDE HOWBOW DAH"
and tre got involved and i was stuck in the middle itw as terrifying i have nughtmares about it to this day

brdeno: nughtmares

fro daddy: nuggetmares

coolio: NUGGETMARES

 

- gerad renamed the group nuggetmares 

 

frabk: gosh yea those nuggets can be pretty darn scary :/

principal mike: 'gosh' and 'darn' frank are u okay

frabk: i am a good christian boy i do not use foul language 

gerad: if ur a good christian boy then im a walrus 

frank: suck my fucking cock gerard 

gerad: gladly ;))

 

- mikey changed gerad's nickname to walrus

 

walrus: mkEIY I STG

fallon: 'mkeiy' what is this 

 

- coolio changed mikey's nickname to mkeiy

 

principal mike: and they say dallon is illiterate 

fallon: i put the lit in illiterate 
i copied and pasted btw dot get too ecited 

 

- brdeno changed fallon's nickname to ilLITerate 

 

ilLITerate: breadbin no 
breadbin what
no what i didnt even say breadbin 

 

- frabk changed brdeno's nickname to breadbin 

 

ilLITerate: i didnt say breadbin whaT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING 
BREADBIN
b r e n d o n

walrus: petition to change gerards nickname 2k17

principal mike: ur prayers have been answered 

 

- principal mike changed walrus's nickname to gayrard

 

gayrard: i had something a little better in mind but hey whatever gayrard it is

coolio: i like coolio
its short and simple and everyone knows who i am

 

- fro daddy changed coolio's nickname to who this???

 

ilLITerate: tay what the actual fuck are u doing
ray

 

- who this??? changed fro daddy's nickname to tay

 

tay: no tre wtf 

 

- tay changed who this???'s nickname to tre more like GAYY

 

tre more like GAYY: ah finally a nickname that represednt who i realy am ty ray ty 

principal mike: ah.. everythinsg finally abck to normal 

gayrard: does anyone else feel bad for billie
like
he doesnt have any friends other than us and now he cant hang out with us 

tre more like GAYY: nope
dont feel bad at all
he hit me like 4098 times earlier

gayrard: u kinda deserve that tho

principal mike: gerard pls stop defending the gremlin he brings nothing but unhappiness to the group 

gayrard: DOES ANYONE ELSE FEEL LIKE MIKE AND TRE ARE BEING UNNECCESSARILY MEAN TO BILLIE OR IS IT ME

frabk: i think its just you
like i mean
billies being a dick about this too so 

gayrard: AND WHY IS BILLIE BEING A DICk??? 
OH YEA
BECAUSE MIKE WHO WAS BILLIES BOYFRIEND AND BEST FRIEND HAD SEX WITH TRE WHO WAS BILLIES OTEHR BEST FRIEND 
HE HAS EVERY FUCKING RIGHT TO BE PISSED I KNOW I WOUDL

frabk: jfc go fuck billie then if u care about him so much smh

mkeiy: frank what the fuck why are u being a dick

frabk: bc gerards being a dick

gayrard: only bc mike and tre are being dicks

principal mike: yeA BECAUSE BILLIES BEING A DICK

gayrard: BECASE U AND TRE ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKING DICKS ON THIS PLANET 

tay: well this group has the right name
this is the biggest fucking nuggetmare ever

mkeiy: yea bc everyone has suddenly taken up being a dick as a hobby

ilLITerate: theres an awful lot of talk about dicks going on here

breadbin: what do u expect 
everyones gay  as fuck 
dick is our religion

tay: the church of dick

 

- breadbin renamed the group the church of dick

Chapter Text

- gayrard removed frabk from the church of dick

 

gayrard: help me help me help me help me help me help me help me
oh my fckinh GD HLEP ME OIEJHUDGV AFGHHHHH

breadbin: oh mY GOD WHAT ITS FUCKING NOT EVEN 4 YET
AT LEAST WHEN TRE NEEDED HELP HE WAITED UNTIL 5
wait why did u remove frank

gayrard: THATS WHTA I NEED HELP ABOUT 

principal mike: did u forget how to add him back? 
u just gotta go into settings and hit add people to chat

gayrard: no mike i didnt forget how to add him back 
i dont want him added back 
because i am a terrible person and oh my god seriously help me

tre more like GAYY: why does this sound like when i needed help after t h e  i n c i d e n t ?

ilLITerate: gerard pls tell me that what billie just messaged me isnt true

gayrard: what did he messaged u
WAIT NO DONT ANSWER THAT DALLON PLS DONT ANSWE RTHAT

tay: i have no idea wjats happening but it doenst sound good

mkeiy: dallon pm me what billie said
i dont like not knowing whats happening 

ilLITerate: trust me mikey u wont like knowing whats happening eiteehr
if thus text from bj is true 

principal mike: whats the gremlin done now

gayrard: stop calling him that

principal mike: gremlin gremlin gremlin 

breadbin: ha gremlin boy gremlin boy

gayrard: whAT THE FUCK IS WRoNG WITH U GUYS LEAVE HIM TF ALONE

mkeiy: GERARD WE NEED TO TALK 

tre more like GAYY: jfc gerard what have u done

gayrard: trust me u guys u dont wanna know

tay: dallon pm me too 

principal mike: same

gayrard: nO DALLON DONT TELL MIKE OR TRE 

ilLITerate: I ALREADY SENT THE MESSAGES TO LIKE EVERYONE IM SORRY GERARD I FAILED U 

tay: GERARD IM SCREAMIBNGF WHAT THE FUCK

breadbin: okay gerard we need to have a chat about nOT BEING A COMPLETE DICKWAD

gayrard: okay okaY OKAY I KNOW 
IM A SHITTY PERSON 
BUT I DONT REMEMBER U GUYS BEING THIS MAD AT TRE WHEN HE DID IT

tre more like GAYY: okay so dallon didnt send me the message but
im guessing u did what i did??

gayrard: yep
i drunkenly fucked billie :)

mkeiy: is anyone else concerned that mike has gone quiet

principal mike: oh im just observing the squad falling apart even more
and its all gremlin boys fault

 

- breadbin renamed the group gremlin boy: the squad destroyer 

 

gayrard: brendon 

breadbin: just trying to lighteb the mood
u know
seeing as everythings gone to shit for the 851549837645th time 

tay: oh MY GOD WHAT IS FRANK GONNA SAY
GERASRD WE NEED DETAILS RN

ilLITerate: 'gerasrd' ray what is this fuckery 

mkeiy: dallon not now

gayrard: OKAY SO BASICALLY
wait no forget the caps
so basically the argument with frank got worse and then i went to see billie bc mike and tre (and everyone else kind of) are being massive dicks to him

principal mike: not ashamed of it

gayrard: shut the fuck up mike
anyway
and i invited billie round to see if he wasn't okay and he was already drunk off his ass on someshit 
he was saying some shit about how hes gonna die alone and no one wants him around

tre more like GAYY: 
welp
thats knda sand
*sad

ilLITerate: sand

breadbin: beach
oh one day we should go the beach 

tay: we should brendon good idea
we need to relax after all this stress i think im going grey alrady

gayrard: oh yea sure lemme check my calendar
im busy the next few daYS BECAUSE IM DEALING WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING APOCALYPSE THAT SPAWNED FROM MIKE CHEATING ON BILLIE WITH TRE AND THEN ME CHEATING ON FRANK WITH BILLIE AND WE ARE ALL LITERALLY THE SCUM OF THE EARTH AND WE SOULD ALL BE SHOT BEFORE WE CAN BREAK THE ENTIRE POPUATTIONS HEARTS 
but yea after that im free

mkeiy: gerard i think u should take a nap
but after we hear the full story ofc

gayrard: fine
i told him to shut up and thats bullshit bc we're still his friends 
but he was sure i was only there to make fun of him 

principal mike: did he ask about me
i mean
im kinda feeling shitty about being a dick to him now this mess is my fault anyway

tay: what is this sorcery ????? mike dirnt has feeling???????????????? wh a t???

principal mike: suck my ass ray

gayrard: yea he did 
he said and i quote "has mike ask about me? no wait i dont wanna know i dont give a fuck about him anymroe he can drop dead for all i care"

principal mike: fuckin gremlin 

gayrard: then he handed me his bottle and i drank it and then we drank more and then i woke up butt naked next to him so yea
the end goodbye its been a good life im gonna go die now

 

- gayrard left gremlin boy: the squad destroyer

 

ilLITerate: okay so we have anotehr problem

breadbin: what did u do now

ilLITerate: i accidentally sent the message from billie to frank as well so yea now frank knows gerard cheated on him

tre more like GAYY: wow dallon u actual fucking baboon 

mkeiy: baboon more like dalloon 

 

- principal mike changed ilLITerate's nickname to dalloon

 

dalloon: thank u michael 
imma add frank

 

- dalloon added frabk to gremlin boy: the squad destroyer

 

breadbin: lets add billie for the lolz 

tay: breNDON NO 

mkeiy: breNDON YES

principal mike: BRENDON WHY

 

- breadbin added blowjob gaystrong to gremlin boy: the squad destroyer

 

blowjob gaystrong: hello i dont want to be here

tre more like GAYY: me walking into school every day

blowjob gaystrong: i think u guys are better off wihhout me around

principal mike: billie pls
im sorry for literally everything bad ive ever done to u ur more than i deserve

dalloon: this has taken a strange and unexpeted turn but i like it

tre more like GAYY: yea same bj im sorry about t h e i n c i d e n t 
it was the shittiest thing i could ever do and i regret every second of it

principal mike: oh w as i that bad

tre more like GAYY: what

frabk: LISTEN UP 
wait wheres gerard

mkeiy: he left

 

- frabk added gayrard to gremlin boy: the squad destroyer

 

blowjob gaystrong: omf why frank pls this is a disaster

gayrard: i feel ike ive just been thrown into a fiery pit of pain and death
o wait i have

frabk: OKAY LISTEN UP
GERARD I KNOW U DONE FUCKED UP BOI BUT IM WILLING TO FORGIVE U BC I KNOW UR NOT A BAD PERSON
AND BILLIE I THINK U SHOULD FORGIVE MIKE AND TRE BC THEYRE NOT BAD PEOPLE EITHER

gayrard: wait
what
i was expecting u to say u were gonna murder me

frabk: i wanted to for a while
but
these past few weeks have been nothing but despair and i think we should all get over it and pretend it never happend
so lets all just agree that this was one big collossal mistake and we'll never speak of it again

blowjob gaystrong: u know that actually doesnt sounds like a bad idea

tay: awhhh the squads back togetehr :')

principal mike: billie are we still 
like
u know

blowjob gaystrong: yea mike i love u ofc

gayrard: frank
what mike said

frabk: yea what billie said

blowjob gaystrong: but mike if u ever put ut dick near anyone that isnt me i will rip it off u hear me

principal mike: o H olay 
okay

dalloon: mexico 

breadbin: dallon theyre having a ncie moment and u start talking about mexico

gayrard: mexico is very roman attic 

frabk: roman attic
why not viking attic or or saxon attic

tre more like GAYY: mexican romans in the attic 

mkeiy: tre that doesnt even make sense 

tre more like GAYY: thank u 

Chapter Text

blowjob gaystrong: tywin lannister gave me detention what bullshit 

gayrard: billie idk if anyones ever told u but ur not allowed to just fling ur shirt at the teacher climb on ur desk and start singing greased lightning 

blowjob gaystrong: no gerard no ones ever told me that
i didnt grow up being told "billie remember to not take ur shirt off and throw it at tywin lannister and sing greased lightning while standing on ur desk"

tay: u shouldnt need to be told that
its kind of a given
dont throw ur shirt at tywin lannister 

blowjob gaystrong: ill throw what i want at tywin lannister if he gives me detention 

breadbin: i thought we agreed on jaime lannister

dalloon: lancel 

tre more like GAYY: no we definitky agreed on tywin bc hes old asf 

mkeiy: i swear u guys are obsessed with tywin lannister tf is wrong with u

frabk: oh WERE obsessed??
1 word mikey
harry truman 

mkeiy: frank remove urself from this chat if ur gonna shit talk about harry truman 

principal mike: thats 2 words frank

gayrard: actually its a name 

blowjob gaystrong: 2 names 

breadbin: actually i think someones full name counts as just one name

principal mike: how do have 2 names and be 1 am confusion 

tre more like GAYY: mike that makes no sense whatsoever pls reevaluate ur life choices 
but yea how is 2/3 names considered just 1 name

tay: how can someone have 2 thirds of a name tre what drugs u takin son 

tre more like GAYY: im high on life

frabk: gay
but yea i agree how is 2 names counted as 1 that doesnt make sense 

breadbin: BECAUSE THATS JUST THE WAY THINKS ARE OKAY U NOSY LITTLE SHITS
okay thats all for today i am no longer taking questions u can leave them with my secreteray dallon

dalloon: secretary more like sex-retary ;))))

blowjob gaystrong: whoa here comes brendon the (aggressive) name police 

 

- dalloon renamed the group brendon the name police

 

tre more like GAYY: hey brendon do u have handcuffs 
bc if so i would like to borrow one

tay: one handcuff 
just one 

breadbin: no i dont have handcuffs u kinky little minx 

mkeiy: m i n x 
i am WHEAT 
*wheezing 

frabk: first of all i would like to address tre wanting handcuffs???
mINX BENEDON WHAT THE FUCK 
and mikey what the actual fuck

tay: okay movie idea!!!!!
mikey the wheat boy and tre the kinky little minx go on the run from brendon the name police 

dalloon: wait rank what the hell is a benedon 

gayrard: 'rank' dallon dont be fucking rude :/

 

- blowjob gaystrong changed frabk's nickname to rank

 

rank: wow dallon really

principal mike: billie i hope ur happy i just also threw my shirt at tywin lannister so u dont have to be in detention alone

blowjob gaystrong: #relationshipgoals

tre more like GAYY: lets alL THROW OUR SHIRTS AT TYWIN LANNISTER 

tay: no lets not

breadbin: my shirt is already off no going back now 

dalloon: ooh i gotta see bren with no shirt on ;))))

breadbin: wait no nevermind the pricipal just told me to put ut back on

principal mike: no i didnt

breadbin: no mike the actual principal 

tre more like GAYY: aka my daddy

rank: trE NO

principal mike: i am the actual principal?? or does my name lie

 

- tay changed principal mike's nickname to not principal mike

 

tay: ur not the principal anymore michael 

 

- mkeiy changed not principal mike's nickname to just mike

 

just mike: i dont wanna be just miek u fuckers

gayrard: 'miek' 

 

- blowjob gaystrong changed just mike's nickname to miek

 

- miek changed blowjob gaystrong's nickname legweak

 

legweak: ayy

miek: ayy

dalloon: imma go throw my shirt at tywin lannister bc i have nothing better to do

mkeiy: same actually

 

- tay renamed the group stoP THROWING SHIRTS AT TYWIN LANNISTER 

 

miek: everyone go throw thinsg at tywin so we can be squad gulls in detention
squad goals

dalloon: squad gulls
mike are u okay

miek: no ive had a very stressful day :(

legweak: i will make better
after detenton tho
fucking tywin 

dalloon: good news i will be joinging u in detention 

mkeiy: same
mine and dallons shirts got tangled whn we threw them so tywin got double hit 
and he was there like "why do kids keep throwing theur shirts @ me today???"

dalloon: so i told him WE HAVE COME TO AVENGE OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR BJA 
and tywin gave us both detetnion 

legweak: lord and saviour
i like that

tre more like GAYY: i will also be joining u in detention 

gayrard: ffs everyone keep ur shirts on!!!
except frank
frank is encouraged to take his shirt off

rank: ooh 

gayrard: buT NOT NEAR TYWIN LANNISTER 

rank: tOO LATE HAH FUCKERS IM IN DETENTION ALSO

tay: why is this like the time we all threw our desks at the windows
idk if u guys remember but that didnt end well

mkeiy: ray it was ur idea?

legweak: it ended VERY well actually.. we all got suspended and went to gerards lemon party and met dallon 

dalloon: wait so im frens w/ u guys bc u threw ur desks out the windows and got suspended and went to a lemon party 

miek: yes
well we only did the desk thing bc me billie and brendon got suspended (and arrested) while returning mikeys phone to him

dalloon: so i guess i should be thanking mikey for getting his phone taken away
thank u mikey 

mkeiy: ur welcome dallon
also this reminds me of the time when me frank and tre threw eggs at at that guys house who called gerard a "disgusting homo"

gayrard: wait u egged his house
i mean im flattered that u defend me 
but u egGED HIS HOUSE?? 
THAT IS I L L E G A L MIKEY I AM SHOCK

breadbin: 90% of what we do is illegal gerard

gayrard: shut up brendon im trying to raise mikey to be a respectful young man

rank: miKEY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SECRET D:

tre more like GAYY: MIKEY U HAD ONE JOB

gayrard: guys just to let u knw 
mikey is the WORsT person to tell secrets too he is terrible at the whole keeping secret thing

mkeiy: excuse u i am gr8 at keeping secrets
i didnt tell anyone u wet the bed until u were 14

gayrard: ...

mkeiy: ...oh 
well
that brings me onto my next point: we are all bffs here we shouldnt have to keep secrets :)

Chapter Text

tay: mikey u chose the wrong day to be sick
i require assistence handling these fucksticks 

mkeiy: im not actually sick ray 
i just couldnt be bothered today 

tay: well thats a fine way to behave
come in and help me

mkeiy: what are bbft doing now

gayrard: mikey u lil shit u said u were "really super sick i cant move i think im dying"

mkeiy: i said a lot of things gerard

rank: wait
what the hell is bbft

miek: my mind instantly read bbft as boba fett 

tre more like GAYY: really?
i read it as bdsm 

mkeiy: bbft is brendon billie frank and tre
bc i noticed theyre the ones that seem to cause trouble a lot
everyone else just sort of gets dragged into it or someshit 

breadbin: ha get rekt bbft
wait shit 
im b 

legweak: im the first b 
wait mikey what tf do u mean we cause trouble 

mkeiy: i mean u cause trouble
ray what are they doing 

tay: its not just bbft today 
its all of them

dalloon: wow thanks ray ttell everyone im causing trouble

tay: DALLON  U SWALLOWED THE TEACHERS PEN BECAUSE SHE CROSSED OUT ALL THE WORRDS U SPELLED WRONG

mkeiy: he...
he swallowed a pen?

dalloon: destroy the evanescence 
evidence 

breabin: what did evanescence ever do to u 

 

- rank renamed the group destroy evanescence

 

tay: yes he literally swallowed a pen
and billie hid in a closet so he wouldnt have to go to class but now its locked and he cant get out
frank was in the vents last time i saw him

rank: still am
i see u brendon

breadbin: go away ur distracting me from the work im not doing 

mkeiy: frank get down 

rank: go away ur not my real dad

tay: sometimes i feel like im a doctor in a nuthouse and u lot are the psycho patients 

miek: thats ableist 

gayrard: ur ableist 

legweak: i read that as "thats a heist" "ur a heist" 

miek: im a heist?

 

- tre more like GAYY renamed the group mikes a heist

 

dalloon: ray u didnt mention tre and his octopuses 

mkeiy: say that again 

dalloon: smh learn to read
i said ray forgot to mention tre and his octopuses 

tre more like GAYY: my octopuses are my children dallon dont speak about tthem in that tone

dalloon: i wasnt aware i could type in a tone..??

rank: if anyoen is confused
tre has like 14 stuffed octopuses in his bag 
no one knows why

breadbin: GUYS GUY SGUYS HOLY SHIT GUYS U FUCKIG MISSED THE BEST THING THATS EVR HAPPENED EVER

legweak: ofc u missed my birth none of u knew me at that point

tre more like GAYY: shut up billie u self centred banana peel 

 

- gayrard renamed the group shut up billie u self centred banana peel

 

miek: leave him alone fuckers 

legweak: i feel attacked and also attacked :(

rank: I CANNOT FEEL MY ENTIRE FUCKING ARM THIS IS NOT GOOD THIS IS NOT GOOD THIS IS NOT GOOD FUCK

breadbin: twas funny tho

mkeiy: 'twas' brendon who tf do u think u are using fancy language 

tre more like GAYY: OH DEAR IVE LOST AN OCTOPUS 

 

- gayrard renamed the group OH DEAR IVE LOST AN OCTOPUS

 

miek: tre noah fenc but im mroe interesr in eht gap frnka

dalloon: mike pls dont impasto me :/

tay: *impersonate 

legweak: impasto
impasta
im pasta
i am pasta
pasta bake
im pasta bake
im bake
im baked
IM FUCKING BAKED MY DUDES

tay: i grow increasingly concerned for billies mental health every time he speaks 

rank: WHY DONT U CARE
also mike my nam isnt frnka? 

 

- miek changed rank's nickname to frnka 

 

miek: is now

tre more like GAYY: oh w8 nvm i found my octopus 

gayrard: frank what did u do
did u do a naughty

legweak: i just cringed so hard i almost pissed myself

mkeiy: billie

frnka: I FELL THROUGH THE CELING 
LANDED ON BRENDONS DESK AND 99.99999% SURE I BROKE MY ARM
AND ALL BRENDON FUCKING SAID WAS "frank this isnt ur class"

tre more like GAYY: petition to make "frank this isnt ur class" the official motto for whenever someone falls through the ceiling 

gayrard: tre how often are we going to fall through the ceiling

tre more like GAYY: 92

dalloon: infomratriev 

tay: this doesnt add uP
i have done the calcuations and it should be at least 104 

breadbin: interesting
my calculations show ur gay

dalloon: im gay
for brendon

frnka: no guys srs;y i think my arm is legit broken

tay: thats what u get for fuckassing about in the vents 

frnka: i liKE VENTS

dalloon: that ecuse wont work
my "but i like pens" excuse didnt work

frnka: yes but dallon i didnt swallow the fucking vent did i 

gayrard: the vent swallowed u 
and spat u out on brendons desk

breadbin: well
that answers the question ive alwasy wanted to ask the vents
"do u spit or swallow"

frnka: breNDON 

legweak: wait u guys i just remembered im in a closet

mkeiy: u... u forgot ur in a closet? 
h o w 

legweak: to quote myself "IM FUCKING BAKED MY DUDES"

breadbin: considering i have no desk to write on
i shall go and free billie from his closet hell

miek: outta one closet and into another - the story of billie joe armstrong 

legweak: mike do u wish for ur testicles to remain attached to ur body

miek: not particularly 

breadbin: I RAN AT THE CLOSET DOOR AND IT OPENED REALLY EASILY AND SMASHED BILLIE IN THE FACE
HES BLEEDING IM SORRY 

gayrard: FRANKS ARM IS TWISTED AT AN ANGLE ARMS SHOULDNT BE TWISTED AT OH DEAR

tre more like GAYY: frank do u want an octopus to make u feel better

frnka: yes :(

legweak: i want one too

tre more like GAYY: sorry im out of octopuses for today

legweak: TRE 

breadbin: everyones hurt and dying but tre has octopuses so its all good

miek: im going to incpect the damage to the ceiling and brendons desk

gayrard: franks arm is worse

miek: ye but gerard
no one cares about franks arm

frnka: I happen to care very much about franks arm
its my wanking arm

breadbin: who uses their entire arm to wank

tre more like GAYY: u have gerard for that now anyway

mkeiy: omfg
im never being absent again
poor ray u must be insane 

tay: ive been insane for a long time mikey
todays events made me realise who i truly am

mkeiy: that sounds like the perfect villain quote 

legweak: my villain quote is as follows
"duur hburr im a fureman"

gayrard: lets not

tre more like GAYY: lets

dalloon: lettuce

frnka: the devils lettuce 

legweak: sign me tf up

Chapter Text

frnka: within 5 minutes of having the cast on my arm i have smashed a car window, dented a street sign and broken gerards nose

miek: ayy lmao frank u a savage

gayrard: its not funny
we walked out of the  hosptral then walked back in 2 seconds later bc he kept flying his arm around and it hit my nose

mkeiy: while u 2 are having a field day at the hospital
the rest of us are stuck in school 

breadbin: there are now some new rules in place btw

dalloon: THERS A RULE THAT UR NOT ALLOWED TO PUT PENS ANYWHRE NEAR UR FACE WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT

tay: MAYBE BECAUSE U KEEP FUCKIG SWALLOWING THINGS 

legweak: he was pracicing blowjobs leave him alone

gayrard: billie do u even know how blowjobs work

miek: i can confirm he does
and hes good

tre more like GAYY: fran
i hate to tell u this
but
ur not allowed to go in the vents anymore

mkeiy: u were never allowed in the vents anyway
frank just doesnt listen to rules 

frnka: fran
frAN
FRAN
TRE WHAT THE FUCK

 

- tre more like GAYY changed frnka's nickname to fran

 

- fran changed tre more like GAYY's nickname to literally shut the fuck up

 

literally shut the fuck up: ah yes
my mom said that to me just this morning

fran: bc u were being an ass

literally shut the fuck up: i was not

dalloon: ur always an ass tre

 

- literally shut the fuck up changed dalloon's nickname to literally shut the fuck up

 

literally shut the fuck up: wow 
now ur confusing people

literally shut the fuck up: no ur confusing peiple

 

- tay renamed the group literally shut the fuck up

 

- literally shut the fuck up changed tay's nickname to literally shut the fuck up

 

gayrard: oh my god
its fish all over again

mkeiy: fish 2.0: literally shut the fuck up

literally shut the fuck up: mikey consider this
literally shut the fuck up

 

- breadbin changed mkeiy's nickname to literally shut the fuck up

 

- literally shut the fuck up changed breadbin's nickname to literally shut the fuck up

 

legweak: my brain hurts
why are we like this

literally shut the fuck up: bc we are

 

- gayrard changed legweak's nickname to literally shut the fuck up

 

- gayrard changed miek's nickname to literally shut the fuck up

 

- gayrard changed fran's nickname to literally shut the fuck up

 

- literally shut the fuck up changed gayrard's nickname to literally shut the fuck up

 

literally shut the fuck up: my arm hurts so i cba to type bye felicia 

literally shut the fuck up: whos felicia 
dallon is that u? are u having another illiterate moment?

literally shut the fuck up: no its not me u fucking pretzel 
why would my arm be hurting?

literally shut the fuck up: my arm hurts bc i broke it
rememebr? when i fell out the vents 

literally shut the fuck up: oh my god why is this happening im not a bad person why do bad things happen to bad people

literally shut the fuck up: mike ur definitely a bad person

literally shut the fuck up: what the fuck how u know its me? 

literally shut the fuck up: im sitting behind u fuckstick i watched u type it

literally shut the fuck up: i cant hadle this
jfc this is stupid and also stupid and also fuckinG DUBM

literally shut the fuck up: we dont need ur negativity 

 

- literally shut the fuck up removed literally shut the fuck up from literally shut the fuck up

 

literally shut the fuck up: well.. theres a sentence i never throught id read 

literally shut the fuck up: im 2 seconds away from annihilating this fucking chat

literally shut the fuck up: literally shut the fuck up

literally shut the fuck up: this is making me want to go hide in a vent or someshit
no office frank

literally shut the fuck up: office

literally shut the fuck up: office, noun: a room, set of rooms, or building used as a place of business for non-manual work

literally shut the fuck up: oh my gOD TRE LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP

literally shut the fuck up: TELLING ME TO LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP IS WHAT CAUSED THIS MESS

literally shut the fuck up: NO ONE TELL TRE TO LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP FROM NOW ON OKAY GO

literally shut the fuck up: hey tre
literally shut the fuck up

literally shut the fuck up: tre if u literally shut the fuck up thne we wont have to tell u to literally shut the fuck up and this whole mess could have been avoided
so in future.. literally shut the fuck up

literally shut the fuck up: how about u literally shut the fuck up

literally shut the fuck up: i put the lit in LITerally shut the fuck up

literally shut the fuck up: public servce announcmen t
l
i
t
e
r
a
l
l
y
s
h
u
t
t
h
e
f
u
c
k
u
p

literally shut the fuck up: i will not literally shut the fuck up

literally shut the fuck up: u will literally shut the fuck up

literally shut the fuck up: i wiLL NOT LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP

literally shut the fuck up: OH MY FUCKING GOD
ALL OF U 
L I T E R A L L Y   S H U T   T H E   F U C K    U P   :)

literally shut the fuck up: figuratively open the fuck down 

literally shut the fuck up: i am uncomfortable 

 

- literally shut the fuck up left literally shut the fuck up

 

- literally shut the fuck up removed literally shut the fuck up from literally shut the fuck up

 

- literally shut the fuck up removed literally shut the fuck up from literally shut the fuck up

 

literally shut the fuck up: no no nO RAY I KNOW UR DOING THIS DONT DESTPRY THE MASTERPOEVE THAT IS THIS CHAT

literally shut the fuck up: 'masterpoeve' 

literally shut the fuck up: thiS IS INSANITY WE NEED A BREAK FROM GROUP FUCKING CHATS FOR AT LEAST A WEEK 
WE CANT GO ON LIKE THIS 
THE FATE OF THE WORLD RESTS IN OUR HANDS AND WE'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHUNG RIGHT

literally shut the fuck up: NO WE CLEARLY NOT RESPONSIBLE 
WE CANT EVEN HOLD A SIMPLE GROUP CHAT TOGETHER

literally shut the fuck up: if u think this is simple u havent been paying attention 

literally shut the fuck up: literally shut the fuck up

literally shut the fuck up: tHAT IS IT OMF

 

- literally shut the fuck up removed literally shut the fuck up from literally shut the fuck up

 

- literally shut the fuck up removed  literally shut the fuck up from literally shut the fuck up

 

- literally shut the fuck up removed literally shut the fuck up from literally shut the fuck up

 

- literally shut the fuck up removed literally shut the fuck up from literally shut the fuck up

 

literally shut the fuck: now we can all literally shut the fuck up :)

 

- literally shut the fuck up left literally shut the fuck up

Chapter Text

- Dallon Weekes added Brendon Urie, Billie Joe Armstrong, Gerard Way, Ray Toro, Mike Dirnt, Frank Iero, Mikey Way, and Tré Cool to henlo

 

Dallon Weekes: wow that was a stressful week of no group chat

Ray Toro: dallon it was a day and a half :/
also its midnight why are u making a group chat at midnight

Brendon Urie: its not actually midnight ray its like 3 minuets past midnigt
and he had a nightmare leave him alone

Mike Dirnt: billie keeps jicking me so im awake anyway

Ray Toro: what is jicking
wait it sounds sexual nvm

Mike Dirnt: kicking ray
i meant kicking

Gerard Way: dallon what was ur nightmare about 
bc i also had a nightmare it was terrifying 0/10 would not recommend 

Mikey Way: egrard u cant recommend nightmars 

Gerard Way: egRARD MIKEY 
FUCKING EGRARD

 

- Tré Cool changed Gerard Way's nickname to egrard

 

egrard: k well im gonna pretend that didnt haoppen
but in my nightmare frank was riding a really big pinata and it was kinda like a vacuum cleaner like it kept sucking thinsg up
and he started chasing me and i didnt want him to suck me up but he just kept yelling "FOR THE WATCH"

Tré Cool: gerard are all ur nightmares based on game of thrones

egrard: yes
i binge watched the entire series last week what do u expect 

Dallon Weekes: my nigthtmaee involved a large vampire like thing and it was just bad 
i dont want to talk about it 

Frank Iero: was the large vampire thing gerard bc i dreamed about gerard

Tré Cool: yes thank u frankk we dont need to hear that

 

- egrard changed Frank Iero's nickname to frankk

 

frankk: <3

Billie Joe Armstrong: u wanna know what i dont get about gaem of thrones
the nights watch says ur not allowed to take a wife so why do so many guy s join
i sure as hell wouldnt

Mike Dirnt: billie ur gay it doesnt matter that u dont take a wife

Billie Joe Armstrong: shit u right 

 

- Ray Toro renamed the group shit u right

 

Brendon Urie: did billie legit forget he was gay or something?

Billie Joe Armstrong: brendon 
go fuck a sock

Tré Cool: why would he fuck a sock when he can fuck dallon
i mean i dont like dallon much but hes better than a sock right

Dallon Weekes: ty tre
wait
im mildly offended  

Tré Cool: get over it

Brendon Urie: yes okay ill fuck a sock

Dallon Weekes: oh am i a sock now ;)

Brendon Urie: no

Dallon Weekes: biLLIE I FUCKING HOPE UR HAPPY U LITRLE SHIT
BRENDON HAS HIS DICK IN A SOCK
AND HE DOESNT WANT TO FUCK ME

Tré Cool: well maybe if u were a sock dallon...

 

- Mike Dirnt changed Dallon Weekes's nickname to sockboy

 

- Mike Dirnt changed Brendon Urie's nickname to cocksock

 

egrard: sock puppets
or should i say cock puppets ;)

Mikey Way: gerard dont encourage them

egrard: suck my dick miey

Mikey Way: gerard
thats incest 
also what is a miey

 

- egrard changed Mikey Way's nickname to miey

 

frankk: brendon protip: dont do anything billie tells u to do
if we all listeend to what billie told us to we would be dead and pregnant
or in jail
or in france
or other unpleasant things

Ray Toro: ??

frankk: well one  time when i told him his shoes were on the wrong feet he said
and i quote
"frank go and fucking put ur dick in a microwave and impregnante the thing and waste ur life rasin little microwabe babies"

Ray Toro: yes i know i was there
what i meant was how can someone be deadn AND pregnant

sockboy: well im pretty sur e gregnant women ahve died before
prgannat 
pergenant
pregananant
I CANT FCUKING SPELL

cocksock: we know dal we know 

 

- miey renamed the group PREGANANANT 

 

Billie Joe Armstrong: objection
i think u should all do exaclty what i say :)

cocksock: how about u fuck urself :)

 

- Billie Joe Armstrong changed cocksock's nickname to urine

 

urine: wow harsh 

 

- urine changed Billie Joe Armstrong's nickname to gremlin

 

gremlin: THAT IS FUCKING RUDE AND ALSO RUDE AND AL SO

Mike Dirnt: billie turn ur fucking phone off im tired and we have school in the mrning 

gremlin: fuck the police i do what i want

sockboy: brendon pls take the sock off ur dick

urine: in the wise words or our gremlin friend: fuck the police i do what i want

miey: wow
already so confused and fucked up

Ray Toro: if i eevr become president im goNNA FUCKING BAN GROUP CHATS

 

- Tré Cool changed Ray Toro's nickname to president toro

 

president toro: ayyyy dats my boi tree
*tre

Tré Cool: smh not even the president knows my name :(

 

- gremlin changed Tré Cool's nickname to tree

 

tree: i have been blessed by our lord and saviour
our gremlin and saviour 

Mike Dirnt: hey i was the president :(

miey: no mike u were the principal 

Mike Dirnt: arent they the same thing

president toro: yes mike definitely  
tomorrow u have to call the principal mr president okay

Mike Dirnt: yep

gremlin: do it do it do it

egrard: tomorrow should be eventful :)

tree: i'll call the principal daddy if one of u guys buys me taco bell after 

sockboy: DONE 

tree: aw yissss

Chapter Text

tree: so i called the principal daddy u guys
dallon i want my taco bell now

sockboy: pics or it didnt happen

gremlin: how can someone taje a picture of speech

egrard: welp
no proof means u have to do it again tre 

tree: only if i get double taco bell
NO WAIT
taco bell AND $10

president toro: $20 if u call him daddy in front of the whole school 
u know when he goes up on stage for those dumb announcemets

miey: he only does his announcements when someones done something to get in deep deep DEEP shit
but anyway this is a dumb idea and i dont wanna be part of ur silly childish games
no wait yes i do

egrard: sweet sweet mikey
u tried so hard to be a grown up

miey: suck my ass

urine: thIS IS BULL SHAMROCK 
*bullshit
what the everliving fuck

Mike Dirnt: bull shamrock

gremlin: rip i just read shamrock as smash mouth both times

tree: HEY NOW
UR AN ALL STAR
GET UR GAME ON

frankk: IM GAY

tree: no frank thats not how the song goes 

egrard: gay now
ur a gay star
get ur gay on
im gay

Mike Dirnt: ah yes my fave song
gay star by gay mouth 

president toro: somebody once told me the gay is gonna gay me
i aint the gayest gay in the gay
she was looking kinda gay with her gay and her gay
in the shape of an gay on her gay

urine: well the years start coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they

Mike Dirnt: brendon
we need to talk
ur mother and i are very worried about u son

gremlin: ur tearing this famliy apart brendon 

Mike Dirnt: u made ur mother cry i hope ur happy 

urine: yes i am actually

gremlin: im not crying im just gay

sockboy: 'im not crying im just gay' PLEASE can we make that the response for literally everything now

president toro: well it cant be the repsone for eevything but ye sure why not

sockboy: quit pissing on my dreams

egrard: "quit pissing on my dreams" same actually 

 

- frankk renamed the group quit pissing on my dreams

 

urine: if u see swiper say
"im not crying im just gay"

tree: no no no 
if u see swiper say 
SABAKU NO WA ORE NO STANDO DAAAAAAAA

egrard: tre pls

 

- frankk renamed the group SABAKU NO WA ORE NO STANDO DAAAAAAAA

 

egrard: frANK

frankk: GERARD

Mike Dirnt: wait am i the only one w/out a nickname again 

 

- tree changed Mike Dirnt's nickname to that one kid who makes bass noises

 

tree: no

that one kid who makes bass noises: trE NO
THAT WAS 1 TIME LIKE 20 YEARS AGO

gremlin: muke ur 16 that makes no sense
also u do it all the time like literally

tree: ooh 'muke' even better

that one kid who makes bass noises: TR E DONT 

 

- tree changed that one kid who makes bass noises's nickname to muke

 

president toro: duke nukem more like duke mukem amirite 

sockboy: muke mukem 
MUKE MUKEM

muke: this is CYBERBULLYING 

miey: this is sparta

gremlin: NO THIS IS PATRICK 

egrard: its leviOsa not leviosA

urine: maybe its maybelline 

frankk: maYBE WE SHOULD GT BACK ON TRACK??

tree: what track
a train track?

muke: no a running track

miey: yea as if any of us is actuallu gonna run lmao good one mike 

tree: OH YEAH LMAO IM SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING MY $20 AND RACCOON BELL
TACO BELL WHAT

president toro: tre u cant just eat raccoons 

tree: bitch just watch me
Actualy no dont am shy]

sockboy: rememememeber u have to call the principal daddy in front of the whle school

urine: dall honey remember obly has 2 em in it 

sockboy: it has as many ems in ut as i want brendon 
quit pissing on my dreams

miey: how exactly are u gonna get him to make an announcemt
like
i jate to be part of ur retarded ass games but 
one of us is gonna have to get in seious trouble

gremlin: MY TIME HAS COME FINALLY
TROUBLE IS WHAT I DO BEST

egrard: ILL BE UR PARtner in crme

gremlin: howdy pardner 

muke: NO 
BAKC OFF
GRR
BILLIES IST MEIN

president toro: u just turned incredibly german michael

miey: no i didnt ray dont chat shit 

president toro: not u michael
the other michael

sockboy: i didnt know we had a fren called michael

egrard: dallon.. dallon we have 2 frens called michael

sockboy: aight if u say so 

gremlin: okay so heres th plan u gays
wait what its the end of the day

tree: so i dont get to call the principla daddy?
damn bro that sucks 

muke: tomorrow tre tomorrow

urine: mission failed we'll get him next time

Chapter Text

gremlin: okay lads the plan is as follows:
me and the gee-ster are gonna cause some wild shit
hopefully the principal will make an announcement at the end of the day
tre can do his thing
and then we all get taco bell

sockboy: no only tre gets taco bell

egrard: billie i thought i told u to stop caling me the gee-ster 

 

- gremlin changed egrard's nickname to gee-ster

 

gremlin: sorry what i just went temporarily deaf 

miey: u can still read if ur deaf

urine: not if ur names dallon

sockboy: sorry what i just went temporarily infiltrate 

gee-ster: wAIT WHAT TF DO U MEAN WE DONT GET TACO BELL
WHY IS TRE SO SPECIAL

tree: this is some class a bullshit
wait im tre
oh this doesnt effect me its all good :)

president toro: affect 

tree: no

frankk: thank u 

muke: none of this makes sense whats even happening 

gee-ster: WE DONT GET TACO BELL BUT TRE DOES?? IN WHAT WORLD IS THIS FARQUAAD 
*FAIR 
DAMMIT

miey: gerard how many times have u typed farquaad for it to correct fair

gee-ster: more times than im comfortable admitting 

 

- urine changed gee-ster's nickname to farquaad fucker

 

frankk: um
shouldn that be frank fucker :/

tree: sorry frenk
gerards moved onto bigger and better things 

 

- president toro changed frankk's nickname to frenk

 

farquaad fucker: tre pls stop trying to ruin my relationship 

gremlin: yea havent u ruined enough peoples relationships 

muke: ...
billie

sockboy: ohhh shit tre just got fucking demolished 

tree: wow fuck u 

 

- tree left SABAKU NO WA ORE NO STANDO DAAAAAAAA

 

farquaad fucker: well done billie u fucking burnt piece of celery 

muke: billie why is it every time things are going nicely u have to be a complete ass and fuck it up

gremlin: mike why is it u have to insalt me all the time when all i do is make innocent jokes

president toro: yea uh
i somehow dont think tre finds this funny :/

miey: OIH MDNHCY FUGHIO GODDDDD WHY ARE U ALL SO FUCKING RETARDED

urine: question
do we still get taco bell even tho tre just walked out of school

gremlin: he walked out of school?
oop

muke: yea fuckin oop

gremlin: hey mike
go fucketh thyself 

muke: hey billie
sucketh my dicketh 

gremlin: hey mike
youre a bastard

frenk: billie thats not old english

gremlin: UR NOT OLD ENGLISH 

urine: I JUST WANT TACO BELL OH MY GOD

sockboy: LISTEN UP FUCKERS
if u manage to get tre back in school and back in the chat
i will buy everyone taco bell after school

miey: fuck school how about we get taco bell as soon as we get tre back

president toro: michael
taht is not expendable behaviour 

miey: ray i honestly do not give a fuckity fuck im hungry

sockboy: ray did u mean to say acceptable 

farquaad fucker: wow look at dallon with the correcting peopls spelling 
hes come so far
i shed a tear at his bravery, his courage 

sockboy: suck my ding dong

urine: NEIN
dallons ding dong is mine and mine only 
- urs faithfully- brendon urie 

gremlin: GUYS IM RUNNIN

muke: whatevr ur doing just sTOP before u make things worse

gremlin: um??? me? make thinsg WORSE?? i dont think so sweaty :)

president toro: literally shut the fuck up

farquaad fucker: NO NO NO 
DONT 
RAY SHUT THE FUCK UP NO
DO NOT DO THIS TO ME AGAIB
I CANT TAKE ANOTHER REPEAT OF FISH

miey: guys imma add tre back and tell him our plan

 

- miey added tree to S ABAKU NO WA ORE NO STANDO DAAAAAAAA

 

tree: billie stop fucking chasing me u look like a rabid dog

gremlin: stop fucking running then jfc

tree: ill stop running when u stOP FOLLOWING ME 

gremlin: WHERE ARE U EVEN GOING 
U JUST RAN INTO A DEAD END

tree: I CANT THINK WHEN IM UNDER PRESSURE
UR STRESSING ME OUT 
GO AWAY
GO TO SCHOOL
BEHAVE

gremlin: IM TRYING TO MAKE THIS RIGHT
FUCK

tree: HA FUCK U THATS WHAT U GET

farquaad fucker: what happened 
billie what more trouble have u caused

muke: im runnin u guys im runnin

frenk: i know im right behind u

sockboy: and im next to u frank
u are uncomfortably fast for someone so small

tree: BILLIE GOT HIT BY A CAR HAHAA BITCH

gremlin: I WAS TYPING AND RUNNING AT THE SAME TIME LEAVE ME BE 

muke: IS HE OSKY

farquaad fucker: whY IS EVERYONE RUNNING I CANT DO THIS 

miey: gerard u werent even running 
u were doing a brisk walk 

farquaad fucker: i know it was terrible 

gremlin: mike to answer ur question
yes im osky

tree: annie are u osky
are u osky
are u osky annie

sockboy: who tf is annie

frenk: ur mom

president toro: wait is everyone frens again now

tree: yes
oh look the principal is chasing us

urine: oh dear he doenst look happy

farquaad fucker: okay so im like a mile down the road so u guys tell me whats he saying

muke: hes not happy that we all decided to run away

miey: im p sure theres somehing mroe serious happening here
like hes shouting an awful lot for us just running down the road

urine: oh
i think i know what this is over

gremlin: brendon what did u do

urine: it was an ACCIDENT 
but
when i saw all u guys running away i was at th top of the stairs
and i may or may not have accidentally shoved some kid down the stairs 

frenk: brendon u cant 'accidentally' shove someone down the stairs

urine: i can and i will
i mean i already did but

sockboy: brendon maybe u shoud stop typing and pay attentin to the pruncipal whO IS CALLING THE COPS ON U

urine: WHAT WHY I DIDNT DO ANTHING

miey: um brendon
u know the kid u 'accidnetally' shoved down the stairs
well hes being taken to the hospital for a fractured skull

president toro: mikey dont exaggerate things 
its a SUSPECTED fractured skull
like it probably isnt
but damn brenny u in some trouble boy

farquaad fucker: brenny HA

 

- sockboy changed urine's nickname to brenny

 

tree: i dont mean to alarm anybody but thers a cop car 
and cops
oh dear they comin for u brenny

brenny: okay letss stop with the brenny pls
and NOT TODAY PEASANTS
imma naruto out of this bitch 

muke: BRENDON U DID NOT JUST LITERALLY NARUTO RUN AWAY FROM THE COPS 
oh shit they have their sirens on
ooh they comin for u
this is bad 
oh this is baddd

brenny: I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING HELP

sockboy: BRENDON DONT U DARE BECOME SOMEONES PRISON BITCH D:

brenny: theYRE THREATENING TO SHOOT ME IM GONNA DIE IM LITERALLY GONNA DIE

gremlin: stop runnning smh 
BRNEDON SEROUSLY STOP RUNNING
THE PRINCIPAL TOLD THEM U DID IT ON PURPOSE THEY THINK U TRIED TO KILL A KID

brenny: HA IM GONE BITCHES IM GONE 
CALL ME 5 LITTLE DUCKS COS IM OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY

miey: oh my god
im out

 

- miey left SABAKU NO WA ORE NO STANDO DAAAAAAAA

 

farquaad fucker: ALL I WANTED WAS TACO BELL
WHY IS EVERYTHING SO COMPLICATED

sockboy: well lets go get taco bell then

tree: yesssssss

 

- tree added miey to SABAKU NO WA ORE NO STANDO DAAAAAAAA

 

tree: MIKEY WERE GETTING TACO BELL STILL

miey: YASSSS

Chapter Text

president toro: so brendon
hows life as a wanted man

brenny: oh ya knwo
im just chillin in nebraska
as wanted men do

sockboy: BRENDON ITS BEEN A WEEK JUST COME BACK

gremlin: dallon what part of wanted man do u not understanr

tree: its dallon he probably doenst understahd any of it 

muke: pls dont tell me ur literally in nebraska

brenny: sorry mike but im literally in nebraska
in lincoln
living under the alias of JEBEDIAH CHADWICK MAXIMUS FRUITGRAPE III 

frenk: aw
tres grapefruit son lives on in brendons strange nebraskan antics 

brenny: hows the kid i shoved down the stairs 

farquaad fucker: we havent heard much about him
apart from his friend wants to kick ur ass

gremlin: brendon u should be fine
like
ive seen his friend hes not scary at all

sockboy: billie
do u evem know brendon
he screamed at a feather falling past him bc he thought it was a spider
and when i said "how can it be a spider if its grey"
he said "old spiders are grey dallon do u even go to school"

muke: okay
the spider story is kind of irrelevant but its good to learn things

tree: mike pls make that ur señor quote 
*senior 

muke: why the fuck would i make that my senioy quote thats so dumb??
sorry
my señor quote 

 

- frenk renamed the group mikes señor quote

 

miey: i hate to interrupt whatever this clusterfuck is
but there is some bad bad BAD news
brendon listen up

brenny: no thank u

miey: YES thank u
anyway
the kid u pushed 
he was taken to hospital remamber

brenny: yes mikey i remember when all hell broke loose last week

miey: he died brendon
he died of head injuries 

gremlin: wait what

tree: oh dear lord
this is shitty

brenny: aw dang
i hoped i would be at least 18 before i became a convicted murderer

miey: HA got u hes fine hes just a lil concussed 
wait
brendon why the hell are u so callm after being told ur a murderer

brenny: if he died it would have ben MANSLAUGHTER mikey get it right 
i would have been a manslaughterer not a murderer

sockboy: well now ur a concusser 

frenk: ALL FEAR BRENDON THE CONCUSSER

farquaad fucker: frank

tree: guys 
we should go and visit brendon in nebraska

president toro: tre we are trying to get brendon back to school
ur not helping at all

tree: wow fuck u ray

muke: tbh im up for a road trip
i cant handle mr turner

frenk: NO ONE CAN HANDLE MR TURNER HE IS THE LITERAL SPAWN OF SATAN 

farquaad fucker: frank u just dont like him bc he tells u to get off ur phone

frenk: damn right
i dont like anyone who tells me to get off my phone

gremlin: i dont like any one period
except mike
i love mike

muke: i loev u too billie

president toro: is it me or is it gay in here

miey: its very gay in here ray

tree: this isnt just regular gay
this is
gay™

sockboy: gay™

frenk: okay so i just read that as "gay t m" 
like atm but gaytm 

brenny: gaytm: the place gays go to withdraw money 

tree: focus pls
roadtrip to nebraska 
save brendon from the nebraskans

brenny: i dont need saving tre im not some damsel in distress 

president toro: movie idea: tre goes on a quest to nebraska to save brendon the damsel in distress
and he fights a dragon bc dragons make everything 100x cooler

sockboy: the only person whos gonna be saving the damsel is me

brenny: can we stop referring to me as the damsel now pls 
i dont need saving
i like nebraska 

miey: but u like us more so ur coming back

president toro: how are we gonna go on a roadtrip when none of us owns a car

tree: that is where my good fren bj comes in
he can hotwire ANYTHING 

gremlin: tre i thpight i told u i was done jacking cars wgen i got arrested for the 19827635th time 

tree: and i thoght i told u i accept full responsibiltiy for u getting thrown in juvie for 3 months

gremlin: well duh
it was ur fuckin fault i got caught

muke: wait wait wait
u mean that time when we were 13 and u disappeared for MONTHS u werent really at ur uncles in canada??

gremlin: no michael i was in juvie for stealing cars
again

farquaad fucker: the plot thickens

president toro: well damn
i know billies a little shit
but i didnt know he was this bad jfc

sockboy: ooh billies a bad boy

brenny: ha dallon likes bad boys

sockboy: no 
if i likd bad boys why would i be with u

brenny: honestly i am hurt and shocked that u would say this to me
i am the baddest of teh boys
im on the run from the cops 
how much badder can u get 

tree: okay
off track again
heres the plan: bj will hotwire whichever car he can find and we all pile in and go to nebraska and find brenny

miey: actully i always wanted to go to nebula 
*nebraska 
dang

president toro: honestly a nebula sounds so much better than nebraska

brenny: do not insult my homeland raymond u know nothing about nebraska 

president toro: BRENDON U ARENT EVEN FROM NEBRASKA
UVE BEEN THERE FOR A WEEK AND UR ALREADY ACTING LIKE THE OWN THE PLACE

sockboy: dont yell at brendon

president toro: how can i yell if im typing

frenk: well ray tbh
ur typing gives off some very aggressive undertones 

brenny: dont tell me where i am and am not from 
leave nebraska out of this

 

- tree renamed the group leave nebraska out of this

 

miey: take me to nebraska rn 
mr turner yelled at me for eating in class

farquaad fucker: when u get yelled at for eating in class so u run away to nebraska lms if u agree

brenny: when u accidentally concuss a kid by shoving him down the stairs and the cops think u tried to murder him so u run away to nebraska lms if u a agree

frenk: when nebraska gets sick of troublesome kids invading their cities so they ban us from ever entering the state again ever lms if u agree

sockboy: hey frank nice use of gender neutral pronouns for nebraska 

frenk: im a very accepting person dallon
i accept nebraskas gender identity and use their preferred pronouns 

miey: i didnt know nebraska had a gender identity 

president toro: we must all be supportive of nebraskas gender identity 

brenny: okay u know what all this talk of nebraska actually makes me wanna come home so u fucks better hurry ur ass up and get out here

gremlin: do u think the principal will notice if we take his car

muke: billie no wtf 
dont steal the principals car

gremlin: he doesnt even have a car mike chill 

tree: he definitely wont notice us taking his car if he doesnt have a car 

frenk: logic 

Chapter Text

sockboy: good morning to everyone except brendon 

miey: its th e middle of the evening dallon

brenny: whAT DID I DO NOW 

sockboy: U KNOW EXACTLY WHAT U DID U USELESS FUCKING BUTTERKNIFE 

 

- tree renamed the group BUTTERKNIFE 

 

gremlin: what drama is happening now guys cnat a boy get some sleep around here

muke: billie turn ur phone off its loud

miey: why is everyone asleep in the evening 
what is happening

president toro: brallon are having a domestic over
im not actually sure what its over tbh

sockboy: WHY DONT U ASK BRENOD HE KNOWS WHAT ITS OVER

brenny: breNOD
BRENOD????????
WHO TF IS BRENOD

sockboy: ADMIT UR CRIMES FOUL BEAST
ADMIT THEM

brenny: no fuk u 

muke: that nebraska roadtrip was tiring 

miey: dont be exaggerate mike
i got left behind at EVERY gas station we went to and had to run 298376 miles to catch up but im not tired??

farquaad fucker: "dont be exaggerate" - mikey way 1927

miey: geRARD DONT DO A MEAN ON UR BROTHER

tree: gerard did u have a stroke its not 1927?????????

frenk: no it hasnt been 1927 for at least 3 years now

muke: well hes not wrong u know..

farquaad fucker: i think mikeys the one having a fit 
"dont do a mean on ur brother"
ILL DO A MEAN ON EVERYONE 
GRRR

sockboy: anyway were getting a little off track
BRENDON IM GOING TO FUCKING END U IF U DONY COEM AND FIX UR MESS

tree: "fix ur mess" so basically fix his entire life right??

frenk: dammmm we gonna need some furemen in here for that burn ;))

miey: furemen furemen furemen 

muke: bj ur time has come

gremlin: *i walk out onto a dark stage in front of 20000 people* *a spotlight shines on me* *i clear my throat* 
durr hburr im a furemen 
*the crowd goes wild w/ applause and cheering* *roses land at my feet* *audience members shed a tear*

frenk: billie no wtf

miey: ah the 3 phrases of our chat
the original: "trE NO"
the hardly used but still relevant "brendon what the actual fuck"
and the new one: "billie no wtf"

gremlin: u know what my senoir quote is gonna be 
"mikey shut the fuck up" 

miey: yea well mines gonna be
"billie joe armstrong was the one who put firecrackers in the toilet that one time"

gremlin: U DONT SNITCH ON UR FRENS U WEASEL 

farquaad fucker: wait billie that was u????

gremlin: no gerard
dont listen to anything mikey says hes a LIE

tree: ah yeast 
mikey is a lie
not a liar
but a lie
he isnt real

president toro: "ah yeast" I JUST FUCKING CHOKES WHEN IR EAD THAT

muke: why am i imagining tre holding up yeast and stroking his imaginary beard and saying "ah yes... yeast"

 

- brenny renamed the group episode 41: hm.. yeast.. create brEAD..???

 

sockboy: brendon what the actual fuck
also ur a bastard 

brenny: alSO UR A FUCKING COCKMONKEY 
WHAT DID I DO TO MAKE U SO HOSTILE

sockboy: ONE WORD 
PLAYSTATION

brenny: i dint know what ur talking abouyt

sockboy: I KNOW U FUCKING REPORTED MY ACCOUNT AND GOT ME BANNED

farquaad fucker: oh did brendon get someone else banned from psn?????

sockboy: yes this is the 5th time this month

brenny: U THREW AWAY MY POPTART THAT I WAS SAVING

sockboy: IT WAS GROWING MOLD BRENDON 
IT WASNT A POPTART ANYMORE

brenny: ALSO
A L S O
U SHOULDNT HACK INTO GAMES ITS Naughty™

sockboy: FUCK A STICK BRENDON AND LEAVE MY HACKING OUT OF THIS 
UR JUST MAD I WOULDNT GIVE U MONEY ON GTA

brenny: OF FUCKING COURSE IM MAD ABOUT THAT 
UR THE REASON I NEED MORE MONEY IN THE FIRST PLACE
ITS COMPLETELY BEYOND ME WHY 1 PERSON FEELS THE NEED TO BUY 18 T20s

gremlin: this episode of group shat: brendon and dallon literally have a dometic over gta 
but yea why so many t20s wth

sockboy: i dont have to answer to u 
u almost killed us in the car when we rescuced brendon

gremlin: arE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THAT
T IS NO MY FAILT I VANNOT RWCH THE PEDALS

muke: that makes no sense

frenk: does billie even english

tree: does frank even english

president toro: does english even english 

miey: too spoopy ray to spoppoy 

farquaad fucker: mikey what is a "spoppoy"

 

- muke renamed the group all hail spoppoy 

 

tree: the spoppoy are mad

sockboy: whats a spoppoy 

brenny: ur a spoppoy 
thief

sockboy: breNDON

frenk: well tre wasnt wrong when he said the spoppoy are mad

Chapter Text

sockboy: i cant sleep lets play never have i ever

miey: no

farquaad fucker: how tf can we play never have i ever if were all in diff houses w/ no drinks 

sockboy: easy
ill say "never have i ever banned someones playstation account bc im a whiny brat" 
and brendon will send ☑
the rest of u will keep quiet

brenny: daLLON EAT MY ENTIRE ASS 
ITS BEEN 4 DAYS AND UR STILL NOT OVER IT

frenk: i cant even see the lil emoji dude u sent its a white box for me :(

tree: no alcohol=no fun

sockboy: but im boooooored 
u guys are fuckers

muke: okay ill play
never have i ever smuggled weed into school in my hair

president toro: ☑ 
ur gonna sell me out like this 
fuck u mike 

tree: uhm
excuse
u didnt tell me u had weed? and i am astonished at ur rudeness raymond

president toro: get over it tre

gremlin: never have i ever shot a gun 

brenny: what type
like a gun gun or an air gun or what

gremlin: the rooty tooty point n shooty type 

brenny: okay thats really not helpful

farquaad fucker: do u know know nothing smh
rooty tooty point n shooty is a gun gun
we had none of this pussy air gun shit back in my day

frenk: gerard ur 16 

gremlin: *sigh* 
NEVR HAVE I EVER SHOT A REAL GUN

muke: what when did u shoot a gun???

gremlin: gotta protect urself in juvie michael 

muke: billie we need to talk about all this shit ur not telling me

gremlin: u dont want to hear my tragic backstory trust me

muke: i think i do bj 
like u know everything about me
and all i know about u is ur name and age and the fact that ur gay as shit

gremlin: mike
seriously
no 

tree: jeez when did this turn into a date 
but ☑

sockboy: honestly it doesnt surprie me that tre has shot a gun

miey: anywayss
continuing 
never have i ever been so drunk i pissed the bed

farquaad fucker: 
mikey ur a bitch this isnt supposed to be exposing everyones secrets 

muke: 
i mean
all in all it was a good night

gremlin: not for me i was in the same fucking bed

brenny: ☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑☑

miey: brendon u only have to send 1 

brenny: i sent 1 for every time i was drunk and pissed the bed 

frenk: o dear thats a lot 
my turn
never have i ever had to run really quickly away from a biker gang and ended up falling down a well and had to be rescuded by the fire brigade but they werent really firemen they were the biker gang in disguise 

farquaad fucker: ...

president toro: ??

miey: um what

frenk: just me? damn

sockboy: u were chased by a biker gang? 

frenk: yup
they were gonna kidnap me until i told them i knew the italian mafia and then they let me go
theyre still scared of me to this day so if any of u guys need anything illegal to be done hmu and ill let my biker frens know 
they got me $5000 once 

brenny: frank u cant be friends with a biker gang

frenk: YES I CAN

gremlin: never have i ever is boring now

muke: what?? u scared someone might find out something about ur mysterious life

gremlin: yes actually 

muke: 

brenny: oH THIS REMINDS ME
u know the kid i shoved down the stairs BY ACCIDENt 

miey: how could we forget u almost getting framed for murder and then a epic failure of a roadtrip to nebraska 

brenny: no need to be an asshat mikey 
and it would hev been MANSLAUGHTEr 
but anyway were frens now hes my fren

frenk: is this why i have barely any frens?
u have to shove people dows stairs to become frens?

sockboy: apprehension so frank

muke: oh god i knw whats coming necxt

 

- brenny added Tyler Joseph to all hail spoppoy 

 

muke: fuckiN TOLD YA 

gremlin: brendon no this is squid only!!!
*squad

president toro: yeah brendon squid people only here
go away if ur not a full squid 

miey: u have to prove u have testicles to join this chat
oH MY DEAR LORD NO 
*TENTACLES NOT TESTICLES I HAVE BROGHT SHAME ON THE SQUID FAMILY
wait do quid have testicles 
nO 
*TENTACLES 

Tyler Joseph: squids have tentacles AND testicles 
wikipedia is ur friend
unlike brendon who likes to shove people down the stairs 

brenny: um fuck u :/

tree: squid facts with tyler 

 

- muke renamed the group Tyler

 

Tyler Joseph: nice

muke: fUCK I WAS TRYING TO NAME THE GROUP "SQUID FACST WITH TYLER" BUT I ACCIDENTALLY COPIED HIS NAME INSTEAD 

sockboy: u know what i love about this chat
a new person gets added and we all instantly bond w/ them its so nice and pure

Tyler Joseph: i literally only know u guys from ur reputation/weird shit i see u do 
excepy for actual satan himseLF WHO SHOVED ME DOWN THF UCKKIG STARS

gremlin: cough brendon cough

miey: wow hes almost as illiterate as dallon 

farquaad fucker: what do u know me from

Tyler Joseph: ur always putting on eyeliner in class 

frenk: ooh do me next

Tyler Joseph: u yell at mr turner a lot 

sockboy: do i even wanna know how u know me

Tyler Joseph: "michigan is the powerhouse of the cell"

sockboy: okay time for u to leave byeeeee

 

- sockboy removed Tyler Joseph from Tyler

 

brenny: dAlLON NO THATSMY FRENDO 
ADD TYLER BACK
and beside we cannot have a grup called tyler with no one called tyler in it 

 

- gremlin added Tyler Joseph to Tyler

 

gremlin: my servic is urs mr satan 

brenny: billie i stg

Tyler Joseph: BILLIE OMG UR THAT ONE KID WHO CLIMBED UP ON THE STAGE AND SAID "MIKE DIRNST A DIRTY WHORE" 
THAT WAS FUCKING SICK 

muke: um?? no it wasnt

Tyler Joseph: oh shit my bad i forgot mikes also in this griup

gremlin: yea we dont talk about those times
they were bad tiems

brenny: we call it the billie/mike/tre clusterfuck 

Tyler Joseph: i remember the war
is saw the fights
even an outsider could see it was a bad time

president toro: shut the fuck up with ur movie inner monologue 

brenny: ray dont salt my friends

sockboy: u donyt have any friends brendon 

brenny: damn dallon no sex for u tonight 

sockboy: fuck u 

brenny: no

 

- Tyler Joseph renamed the group damn dallon back at it again

 

farquaad fucker: old meme 0/10

frenk: 2/10 for trying 
beter luck next time ty

 

- miey changed Tyler Joseph's nickname to ty

 

ty: ty 

president toro: wait were u repeating ur new name or saying thank u

ty: the world will never know 

Chapter Text

ty: ive been in this chat for 3 days and its already got me 2 detentions and a call to my paremts 
is there some satanic witchcraft shit thats turning me into a delinquent 

muke: u were always a delinquent 
the chat just idk
brings it out more ig 

ty: im adding my fren btw 

 

- ty added Josh Dun to Tyler

 

brenny: no tyler no
u have to consult the elders before u add an outsider 

frenk: brendon stop acting like u own the chat
i created it
ur only here bc gerard heard u screaming about doors 

brenny: thank u gerard

farquaad fucker: dont thank me thank my ears 

miey: maKE THAT UR SENIOR QUOTE OMG 
"dont thank me thank my ears" - gerard way 

president toro: actually frank u created the first chat
this current chat was created by dallon
i think

sockboy: hA FUCK U BITCHES
THAT MEANS I DECIDE WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES
i mean stays or goes 
whatevr

farquaad fucker: darling u gotta let me know

gremlin: should i stay or should i go

ty: why isnt josh talking

Josh Dun: bc this chat is actually terrifying to anyone who doesnt know whats happening 

ty: i dot know what happening 
but yea u right it is pretty terrifying 

Josh Dun: why is that 1 guy named sockboy 

brenny: oh dallon?
its bc i put my dick in a sock after billie told me to fuck a sock and dallon was upset that i didnt wanna put my dick in him

tree: the norm 

frenk: my nicknames frenk bc someone misspelled my name
my names frank btw

miey: frank literally everyoen knwos ur name 

Josh Dun: welp
tyelrs my fren so ig u guys ar emy frens now too

brenny: yay frens
ive never had this may frens at one time this is exciting and very new for me

Josh Dun: this is still terrifying btw
but also oddly hilarious 
like
i wannaread back through everything rn 

ty: already done that
these guys are wild

miey: that is a breach of trust tyler
we are no longer frens

ty: *horsefly gasp* 

Josh Dun: horsefly 

tree: horsefly, noun: a stoutly built fly, the female of which is a bloodsucker and inflicts painful bites on horses, humans, and other large mammals.

ty: fuck u i meant horrifying 

sockboy: its okay tyler
u can be incinerate with me

 

- Josh Dun changed ty's nickname to INCINERATE #1

 

- Josh Dun changed sockboy's nickname to INCINERATE #2

 

INCINERATE #1: joSH NO 

tree: whoa
back the fuck up there buddy 
theres only one person u can say NO to in this chat and thats me

frenk: "back the fuck up there buddy" - tre cool 2017

 

- gremlin renamed the group back the fuck up there buddy

 

muke: IM LEGIT CRYING 
IM FUCKING C R Y I N G

miey: why 
are there onions?

muke: no mikey wtf 
im in onion why would there be onions

miey: what

muke: i caNT SPELL BC IM LAUGNG RO HARD
i meant im in MATT not onion

gremlin: whos matt and why are u in him
michael explain 

muke: ffs
*MATH 
billie ur sitting next to me u know im not in matt

farquaad fucker: whos matt

frenk: MIKE PLS JUST TELL US WHATS SO FUNNY

president toro: itS NOT FUNNY IM BEING SENT TO RHE PRINCIPLA BC OF THIS DUMB CHAT

muke: THE TEACHER ASKED RAY IF HE WAS PAYING ATTENTION BC HE WAS READING HIS PHONE AND BASICALLY THIS IS WHAT HAPPEND
teacher - "ray are u paying attention"
ray - "back the fuck up there buddy"

brenny: hoLY FUCK IM DEAD 
RAY U IN SOME SHIT BOI

gremlin: wait i didnt hear that

muke: billie ur right next to me hOW

president toro: FUCK U I SAID WHAT I WAS READING
TRE WHY DID U HAVE TO SAY THAT

tree: um? why me? i didnt do anything wrong

INCINERATE #1: ur whole life is wrong tre

tree: okay tyler were gonna have a problem if u keep acring like a bitch 

INCINERATE #2: tyler is a bitch 

Josh Dun: back the fuck up there buddy 

INCINERATE #2: u back the fuck up fuckhead 

muke: fuckhed fuckhead fuckhead 

INCINERATE #1: beHAVE EVERYONE JFC

president toro: the principal is calling my parents n i c e
thx tre 

tree: ur welcome 

president toro: nO TRE NOT WELCOME 
alo the principal is taking my phone any second now

frenk: but ray ur the president 
take his phone instead 

president toro: yea fuck him ill take his phone

miey: ray pls dont 

president toro: he asked me to hand over my phone and iw as like "no u hand over urs" and he was like "no im the principal" and i was like "well fuck u im the president" 
ojay hes expellung me for a week 

farquaad fucker: leMON PARTY V.2

Josh Dun: whats a lemon party

INCINERATE #2: u guys have so much catchibg up to do

Josh Dun: im not talking to u
u called tyler a bitch

INCINERATE #2: what is he ur boyfriend 

Josh Dun: yes actually

INCINERATE #2: wat forreal 

INCINERATE #1: yes dallon for real
me and jsh are Gay™ together 
*josh

 

- frenk changed Josh Dun's nickname to jsh

 

farquaad fucker: anyway dallon u werent even at the lemon party stop actng like u know it

brenny: yes he was i snuck him trough the windo wremmeber 

frenk: i remember those days
the simple times before the war

gremlin: ah yes 
the billie/mike/tre clusterfuck 
that reminds me i dont wanna be known as gremlin anymore someoen change it

 

- jsh changed gremlin's nickname to not a gremlin

 

jsh: better?

not a gremlin: wow thnx josh i had no idea u were so creative 

tree: jfc i can almost tatse the sarcasm 

INCINERATE #1: now lets all agree
to never be creatiev again

farquaad fucker: green is not a creative color

jsh: i use my hair to express myself 

brenny: that soudns really boring

 


jsh: 
I̮̳̱͔̜͙ͨ̇́̈́̋̓ͫ̚ ̜̼̖̮̬̼̘̣͆̀̎̂ͫͥ̊͒ͯ̿̐̚U͈̙̲̭̮̳͔̫̟̙̜̼̞̼̖̅ͨ̾͗ͨͬ́͋̇͋̑͐ͅŜ͇̳̬̫̝́͛ͫ̾̊̈͆̾̂͒͋̏ͅE̦̪͈̮ͣͫ͛ͭ̎ͬ͆ͭ̈̏́ͪ̊̌͗͋̚ ͔̺͇̬̮̲͕̱̯͈̺̮̬̗̺̂̃͋͌̊͐̊̏̒̿ͨ͒̉̈́̂ͩ̒M̤͓̩̝ͭ͑̑ͭ̾̆̏͂̇̌̂̃͒Ỳ̘̻̰̞̬͎͍̼͎̞̙̝͇̻̬̾̿̅ͅ ̥̱͚̰͚̭̰̥̮͈͎͓̤̖̖̅̊ͥͭ̋ͬͬͭͯH̼̱̹̯͉͍͎̭͇͔̱̦̹͚͉͓̘͉̑̑͒̓ͨͭͥA̖̩̬͙͈̜̯͓͙̥̾̽͐̚I̙̹̘͍͉̜͈͚̗͐̃͒̎Ŕ̳͕͎͕͔͂̋̅̽̓ ͖̹̭̳̪̣̠̲̄ͨ̿́̃̈̿̍T͎̘̠̱̤͓̘͎̖̖͉͂̐̒́̈̓͐̎̈́̈͌̆̒ͣ̒Ó͇̻͖̦͎͉̗͕̪͎͔̖͉̒ͥ̈́̽͋̈́̑ͅ ̜͈̹͔͉̱͐ͦͣ̈́̾͐̂ͯE̞̜̱̤͙̪̣̙ͯ̅͒ͬ̇ͬͬͪ̾X̻̮͖͔̤̗̞̻̫̝̿̾ͦ̒P̗̠̫͔͍͇̠̟͈̰̰̠̐́ͯ̓̂̒́́̂R͔̣̫͎͍͍̤̬̼̻̱̜̲̰̜̘̜ͫ͛̽ͮͧͯ̈́̑́͊͗́̾̆̏E͕͉͚̺̲͎͚̟ͪͮ̃ͭͥ̆ͧ̈́S̙̹̻̺͎̦̪̲͚̗͉̘̻̣̲̺̜̣̒ͤͣ̌͆̿ͥ͋̔ͦ̀ͅṠ̻̙̦ͯͤͯ͊̋̏ͨͮͣ̂̂̃̆ ̖̳̖͍͚͔̫͕̟͕̙͎̺͎͛ͫͥ̒̅͐̈́̒̅ͬ̿ͩM̘̞̣̘̲̼͖̜̫͙͔̥͈̞̮̦̾͆ͤ̀ͪ̄̃ͣͪ͆ͮ́ͪ̊̏̓̍ͫY̹͉͍͍͎̫̓̏̒ͨ͊̃ͪ̈́͛̊ͤ͋S̰͈̫̫̓́̐̚Ȅ͇̩͚̻̗̞̣̺̹͆͗ͥͭ̋͐Ḽ̖̞̼̱̙̙̪̖͍̺̭͎̹̋̓̆̀̈F͓͙͈̼̩͔̞̤̤̊͗͌͂͑́͒̇̚ͅ

̰͙̝̖͓͉͎̻̯͎̫̘̠̭͔͉͓ͥ̂͌ͥ


miey: nope
im out
one satanic fuckwit is enough for me
but 2
nope

 

- miey left back the fuck up there buddy

 

tree: ngl that is mildly terrifying 

 

 

jsh: t̲̥̬̜̳̲͓̮͕̯̙͇̙̥̹̠̗̮ͦ̊̓̂̍h̯̥͇͍̥̩͎̺͎̙͙̥͎̗̲̠̺̥ͨ̀̒́ͯ̾͒̓̏͋̄͆̑̂̑̽̚ͅe̲͕͍̙̝̭̫̊ͩ̒ͩͩͨ̉͐̐r̳͖̭̺͓̰̪͙̝͕̭̭ͨ̏̇̄̋ͅe̻̦͓͍̣ͮ̈́ͤ̿ ̟͔͙͙͕̘̗̞̫̮̣̖͚̯͎͈̳͇̗̍̂ͦͨ̉ͩ̎̄͊̀̏ͯ͂ͭi͎͕̝̻͕͍̰̠ͦ̇̀̓̃ͤ͋ͮs̬̞͉̘͙̄̈ͪ̈̅ ͓͓͕͙̖̥̪̫̦̜̹̘͚̞̼͎̙̳ͤͩ̋̀n̼̲͎̭͊̾ͭ̆ͩͪ̊̒ͩ̅o̫̭̗͙͉͔͑̽ͯ̓ͯ̅̅̃ͬ̈ͨͤͫ͂t̠̬̯̙̩̖̙̯̥ͯ̐̏͋ͪ̍̃h̟̖̰͖͕ͮͦͦ͐̃ỉ͖͓͎̭̒̽̓ͨ͛̓̎ͤ͗͆̅͋ṋ͎͍̫̓̋̋̑ͯ̓ͩͦ̽͑̐ͥġ̣̠̞̱̭͈̜̹̂̽ͣ̑ͣ̈́͋ͧͩ͊͆͆ͮ͂ ͇͙͖̖̬̤̭̖̞͔̣̤̜̘̮̣ͩͭ͒t̞͖̦̣͙̹͚̖̫̬̪̺̦̯͚̋͛̂̀ͪ̂̊̃͆ͩ̂̂̉͂ͥ̚ỏ̥̪͇̜̝̣̲̝͇͍̯ͮͣ̑ ̘͇̯̥͚̀ͧͣ̍͋̆b͖̺̩̘͚̗͍̭͉̜ͧ͆̃ͭͪ̇͌̃͌e̯̪͙̫̎̒͒̏ ̯̱͚̺̮̙͉̬̙̋ͮ̃̒̂ͨͣ̍ͫ̐̐̿̌ͧ̄̚̚ͅa͉͈͈͙̖͚̪̰͖̻̬̠̻̙͎͚̽ͫ̃ͬ̾͊͂̍̌̑̊̔̊̚f͚͎̟̞͔̖̰ͨͫ̏ͧ̐͛ͭ̍ͫ͊ͮͯ̈́ͭ̈́ͩr̥̹̬̘̰̱͍̳̬ͩͣ͒̆̾̌́̆ͩͯ̋̈́͆̋a̩͈̪͈̙͓̘̣ͮ̈́͗̋ͫͩͣ̐̊̾̓̍ͬͫ̒ͫ̆̚̚ͅi̪͓̟̺͎̺͙̱̩͍̅̏̔ͮ͒d̹͇̰̜̭̱̲̯̓͊̉ͣ͆͆̍ͣ̋̀̾̎̑́͊ͫͦ ̣̹͇̥̬̖͙͎̟͙̟̓́͌͂̀ͅo̰̤̙̱͇̤̘̖̬͔͊͋̌ͭͯ̃̃̒f̗̞̰̗͓͖͓̭̰̺̦͙̬́ͪ̍̓̈́ͅ

̖̪̱̗̓ͩͭ̀̓̎̂̄̓͛̈̾ͩ̇͂ͪ́̍

brenny: are u /really/sure about that

frenk: tyler control ur friend 

INCINERATE #1: there is nothing to be afraid of
there is nothing to be afraid of
there is nothing to be afraid oft̼̪̰͙̔̎͐͗̂ͪ͒ͤh̢̺͉̫̜̘̲͎͇̍͋ͣ͑̾ë͑̎҉̨̠͖r͑ͫ͌̋͏̰͎̩̱͉̝̰̞̯e̶͇̮͈͕̱̓̾ ̭̊̎̏̿i̪̦̜̱͎͖̫ͬ͌̉s̭̱̙̤̯͚͌͐ͣͨ̿̕ ̐͋͒̈́̔̄͌ͯͧ҉̧̤̝͕͉̬͔̰͇͕n̷̲̺̩̼̞̻͉̺͙̄̊̕o͕̠͍͙͔ͭͩͨ͝t̟̮̞̦ͬ̀ͣ̅̄̅͑͜h̭͉̟̖͗̂͟ȋͣ̾ͪ͡͏̝̫̙̮ͅn̛̙̘̬̦͖͉̯ͩͯͧ̆̈́g̥̩͐ ̵̤̭̞̯̳͇̰̑̉̑̅͑t͖̻̮̼̖̞ͣͩ͒̐͒̊͝͠o̶̼̦̥̱̱̐̊ ̷͖̠̰͓̠͒͠ḃ̥͉̗͙̜̤ͤ͗͐̐͂̄̆̽͝e͍͈͒̋ͧ̂ ͍̺̟̱̝̜̼̓͋̍a̘̰ͪͪ̾f̯̐ͤ̊̂ͤ͗͢͜ͅr̻̠͚͍̻̝͉̬͑ͪͬ͊̏ą̥͖͆̓̚ͅi͇̩̖̔̚͠ͅd́̓̔͏̴͇̯̜̫͕ ̛͈̦͇̫̐̃̅ö̮̪͓̦̱̭́̓ͮ̕f̪̲̻̯͍͍͍̈́̔̕
̸̵̮̖̻̹̝̦̹̲ͨ̆̌́͑̃ͬ́t̳̻͍͇̅̄ͦh̑̒̐̓̓͟͏̙̲e̡̺͎ͬͯ̌͒͆́ͅr̷̖̥͉͙͕̰͚̫ͤ̈̋ͥ́͒͞ͅe̱͙͎̺̖̠͋̀ ̵̝̈̚͜iͪ҉̟̲̦̠̦̲͉s̷̙̲̮͍̟͆͑ͣ͗͢ ̡̼͎͚ͭͣ̋̇ņ̵̶̗͎ͥ̉ơ̬̠ͬ̌̇ͧ̐̆ṭ̢̦̘̀ͬ͐̾͊ͨ͝h̻̗͍̺̜̠̜͚ͮͪ̄ͨ̎ͦ̄̉͝i̲͖͚̞ͥͨ́̂̈̌͌͒̊n̠̰͍̹͕͓͔̤̾̇ͣͩ̇̒̚͘ģ̠ͮ͌͌ͪ̽͂͆ͫ̚͝͞ ̭̹͚̺̱ͣͤ͞t̶͙̒̒̓ͬ͒̓͂́ö̧̦̻̮͌͑̊ͅ ̸͖̤͕̤̳̫̯̞͂͡b̨̫̻̞͊̃̿͑ͬͅe̷̳̖̼̺͓̙̫͆̑̽ͣ̿ͪ̿ ̶̭͙͚̠̺̝ͬ̊̋͐̾͒͢a͌̀̅͏̺̳͉͈̘̦f͐̓͏͍̞̦̟̻͖̩͠ŗ̤̗̘͗̈́̍ͯ̆͘͡ǎ̸͚̥̎̑͐̆̍͝ĩ͛̚͘͏̡̭̺ͅd̶̶ͬ̐ͨͭ̾ͣ҉̱̯̣̮͈̰͔̭ ͍̗̯̳͇͖̦̤ͨ͛͢o̾҉̭͇͠f̵͔͌̌̾͞
̵̮̳̠͇̥͙̏t̷͙̗̜̩̺͎͚̯͐̒͒ͯͩͫ͆̆́͞h̙͍̫̼̯͈͙͔̙̊̃͂͟͝ë̷́̈ͩ̈ͨͮ͂̓҉͈̰̯̟̜̬̥̘ͅr͎̘̣̗̼̬̹̒̑͟ͅe̢͇̤̝̼̬̫̹̱͑͑͒̐͋̾ ̜͎̤ͬ̑̋̅͒́̃͡iͤ̈̀̓ͣ̃͏̙̜̹̱͈ͅͅs̋ͮ̓̊͊͏̡͕̝̟ ̼̗̣͓͋ͮ̊͒͑͞n̸͇̭͉͈͍̝̗̗̽̆̍͊̐̿̄ó̴͈̬̮̻̯̓̃̀ͫͤ͞t̴̫̦̰̯̭̤̯̰ͨ̚͜h̶̖͈̱͆̓i̛̬̪̭̮ͨ̾̓͂ͬ̏̋͟n̹̻̩̠͉̋ͮ̆g̢̺͈̪̮̪͆̍ͩ͆ ̥̱͉̯̞̜̟͊̅̒͑̿͂̈́̈́ͣ͡tͨ͂̍̓͘͏̱̙̱̗o̷̊ͩ͑ͩ̽̈́̇҉̶̦̳̻̝̠ ̜̭͈̝̲̫̠̪̊b̧̙̮̜̲͇ͦ̈́e̝͔̹͕̲͂̑̏̔̓̾͋͂͡ͅ ̼̹͇̮̖̜̦ͧ̓ă͕̺̻͝ͅf̵͚̭̬̯̺̩ͫr̳̲͈̞͔̦͕ͫ̎ͮ̕͜ã̶͍̦̳̪͗͒͂͗̾̀͑̉i̷̡̛̮̭ͪ͂ͩ̓ͧ̆ͬdͪ̈͗ͨ̈́͏̼̪̟ ̅̀͊̑͌҉̹͎̻̝̦̖̟͔o̴̙̗̱͔̖̲͚̜̓̂̆̃̕f̛̝͍̐̍̽ͧͬ͐͜t̼̪̰͙̔̎͐͗̂ͪ͒ͤh̢̺͉̫̜̘̲͎͇̍͋ͣ͑̾ë͑̎҉̨̠͖r͑ͫ͌̋͏̰͎̩̱͉̝̰̞̯e̶͇̮͈͕̱̓̾ ̭̊̎̏̿i̪̦̜̱͎͖̫ͬ͌̉s̭̱̙̤̯͚͌͐ͣͨ̿̕ ̐͋͒̈́̔̄͌ͯͧ҉̧̤̝͕͉̬͔̰͇͕n̷̲̺̩̼̞̻͉̺͙̄̊̕o͕̠͍͙͔ͭͩͨ͝t̟̮̞̦ͬ̀ͣ̅̄̅͑͜h̭͉̟̖͗̂͟ȋͣ̾ͪ͡͏̝̫̙̮ͅn̛̙̘̬̦͖͉̯ͩͯͧ̆̈́g̥̩͐ ̵̤̭̞̯̳͇̰̑̉̑̅͑t͖̻̮̼̖̞ͣͩ͒̐͒̊͝͠o̶̼̦̥̱̱̐̊ ̷͖̠̰͓̠͒͠ḃ̥͉̗͙̜̤ͤ͗͐̐͂̄̆̽͝e͍͈͒̋ͧ̂ ͍̺̟̱̝̜̼̓͋̍a̘̰ͪͪ̾f̯̐ͤ̊̂ͤ͗͢͜ͅr̻̠͚͍̻̝͉̬͑ͪͬ͊̏ą̥͖͆̓̚ͅi͇̩̖̔̚͠ͅd́̓̔͏̴͇̯̜̫͕ ̛͈̦͇̫̐̃̅ö̮̪͓̦̱̭́̓ͮ̕f̪̲̻̯͍͍͍̈́̔̕
̸̵̮̖̻̹̝̦̹̲ͨ̆̌́͑̃ͬ́t̳̻͍͇̅̄ͦh̑̒̐̓̓͟͏̙̲e̡̺͎ͬͯ̌͒͆́ͅr̷̖̥͉͙͕̰͚̫ͤ̈̋ͥ́͒͞ͅe̱͙͎̺̖̠͋̀ ̵̝̈̚͜iͪ҉̟̲̦̠̦̲͉s̷̙̲̮͍̟͆͑ͣ͗͢ ̡̼͎͚ͭͣ̋̇ņ̵̶̗͎ͥ̉ơ̬̠ͬ̌̇ͧ̐̆ṭ̢̦̘̀ͬ͐̾͊ͨ͝h̻̗͍̺̜̠̜͚ͮͪ̄ͨ̎ͦ̄̉͝i̲͖͚̞ͥͨ́̂̈̌͌͒̊n̠̰͍̹͕͓͔̤̾̇ͣͩ̇̒̚͘ģ̠ͮ͌͌ͪ̽͂͆ͫ̚͝͞ ̭̹͚̺̱ͣͤ͞t̶͙̒̒̓ͬ͒̓͂́ö̧̦̻̮͌͑̊ͅ ̸͖̤͕̤̳̫̯̞͂͡b̨̫̻̞͊̃̿͑ͬͅe̷̳̖̼̺͓̙̫͆̑̽ͣ̿ͪ̿ ̶̭͙͚̠̺̝ͬ̊̋͐̾͒͢a͌̀̅͏̺̳͉͈̘̦f͐̓͏͍̞̦̟̻͖̩͠ŗ̤̗̘͗̈́̍ͯ̆͘͡ǎ̸͚̥̎̑͐̆̍͝ĩ͛̚͘͏̡̭̺ͅd̶̶ͬ̐ͨͭ̾ͣ҉̱̯̣̮͈̰͔̭ ͍̗̯̳͇͖̦̤ͨ͛͢o̾҉̭͇͠f̵͔͌̌̾͞
̵̮̳̠͇̥͙̏t̷͙̗̜̩̺͎͚̯͐̒͒ͯͩͫ͆̆́͞h̙͍̫̼̯͈͙͔̙̊̃͂͟͝ë̷́̈ͩ̈ͨͮ͂̓҉͈̰̯̟̜̬̥̘ͅr͎̘̣̗̼̬̹̒̑͟ͅe̢͇̤̝̼̬̫̹̱͑͑͒̐͋̾ ̜͎̤ͬ̑̋̅͒́̃͡iͤ̈̀̓ͣ̃͏̙̜̹̱͈ͅͅs̋ͮ̓̊͊͏̡͕̝̟ ̼̗̣͓͋ͮ̊͒͑͞n̸͇̭͉͈͍̝̗̗̽̆̍͊̐̿̄ó̴͈̬̮̻̯̓̃̀ͫͤ͞t̴̫̦̰̯̭̤̯̰ͨ̚͜h̶̖͈̱͆̓i̛̬̪̭̮ͨ̾̓͂ͬ̏̋͟n̹̻̩̠͉̋ͮ̆g̢̺͈̪̮̪͆̍ͩ͆ ̥̱͉̯̞̜̟͊̅̒͑̿͂̈́̈́ͣ͡tͨ͂̍̓͘͏̱̙̱̗o̷̊ͩ͑ͩ̽̈́̇҉̶̦̳̻̝̠ ̜̭͈̝̲̫̠̪̊b̧̙̮̜̲͇ͦ̈́e̝͔̹͕̲͂̑̏̔̓̾͋͂͡ͅ ̼̹͇̮̖̜̦ͧ̓ă͕̺̻͝ͅf̵͚̭̬̯̺̩ͫr̳̲͈̞͔̦͕ͫ̎ͮ̕͜ã̶͍̦̳̪͗͒͂͗̾̀͑̉i̷̡̛̮̭ͪ͂ͩ̓ͧ̆ͬdͪ̈͗ͨ̈́͏̼̪̟ ̅̀͊̑͌҉̹͎̻̝̦̖̟͔o̴̙̗̱͔̖̲͚̜̓̂̆̃̕f̛̝͍̐̍̽ͧͬ͐͜t̼̪̰͙̔̎͐͗̂ͪ͒ͤh̢̺͉̫̜̘̲͎͇̍͋ͣ͑̾ë͑̎҉̨̠͖r͑ͫ͌̋͏̰͎̩̱͉̝̰̞̯e̶͇̮͈͕̱̓̾ ̭̊̎̏̿i̪̦̜̱͎͖̫ͬ͌̉s̭̱̙̤̯͚͌͐ͣͨ̿̕ ̐͋͒̈́̔̄͌ͯͧ҉̧̤̝͕͉̬͔̰͇͕n̷̲̺̩̼̞̻͉̺͙̄̊̕o͕̠͍͙͔ͭͩͨ͝t̟̮̞̦ͬ̀ͣ̅̄̅͑͜h̭͉̟̖͗̂͟ȋͣ̾ͪ͡͏̝̫̙̮ͅn̛̙̘̬̦͖͉̯ͩͯͧ̆̈́g̥̩͐ ̵̤̭̞̯̳͇̰̑̉̑̅͑t͖̻̮̼̖̞ͣͩ͒̐͒̊͝͠o̶̼̦̥̱̱̐̊ ̷͖̠̰͓̠͒͠ḃ̥͉̗͙̜̤ͤ͗͐̐͂̄̆̽͝e͍͈͒̋ͧ̂ ͍̺̟̱̝̜̼̓͋̍a̘̰ͪͪ̾f̯̐ͤ̊̂ͤ͗͢͜ͅr̻̠͚͍̻̝͉̬͑ͪͬ͊̏ą̥͖͆̓̚ͅi͇̩̖̔̚͠ͅd́̓̔͏̴͇̯̜̫͕ ̛͈̦͇̫̐̃̅ö̮̪͓̦̱̭́̓ͮ̕f̪̲̻̯͍͍͍̈́̔̕
̸̵̮̖̻̹̝̦̹̲ͨ̆̌́͑̃ͬ́t̳̻͍͇̅̄ͦh̑̒̐̓̓͟͏̙̲e̡̺͎ͬͯ̌͒͆́ͅr̷̖̥͉͙͕̰͚̫ͤ̈̋ͥ́͒͞ͅe̱͙͎̺̖̠͋̀ ̵̝̈̚͜iͪ҉̟̲̦̠̦̲͉s̷̙̲̮͍̟͆͑ͣ͗͢ ̡̼͎͚ͭͣ̋̇ņ̵̶̗͎ͥ̉ơ̬̠ͬ̌̇ͧ̐̆ṭ̢̦̘̀ͬ͐̾͊ͨ͝h̻̗͍̺̜̠̜͚ͮͪ̄ͨ̎ͦ̄̉͝i̲͖͚̞ͥͨ́̂̈̌͌͒̊n̠̰͍̹͕͓͔̤̾̇ͣͩ̇̒̚͘ģ̠ͮ͌͌ͪ̽͂͆ͫ̚͝͞ ̭̹͚̺̱ͣͤ͞t̶͙̒̒̓ͬ͒̓͂́ö̧̦̻̮͌͑̊ͅ ̸͖̤͕̤̳̫̯̞͂͡b̨̫̻̞͊̃̿͑ͬͅe̷̳̖̼̺͓̙̫͆̑̽ͣ̿ͪ̿ ̶̭͙͚̠̺̝ͬ̊̋͐̾͒͢a͌̀̅͏̺̳͉͈̘̦f͐̓͏͍̞̦̟̻͖̩͠ŗ̤̗̘͗̈́̍ͯ̆͘͡ǎ̸͚̥̎̑͐̆̍͝ĩ͛̚͘͏̡̭̺ͅd̶̶ͬ̐ͨͭ̾ͣ҉̱̯̣̮͈̰͔̭ ͍̗̯̳͇͖̦̤ͨ͛͢o̾҉̭͇͠f̵͔͌̌̾͞
̵̮̳̠͇̥͙̏t̷͙̗̜̩̺͎͚̯͐̒͒ͯͩͫ͆̆́͞h̙͍̫̼̯͈͙͔̙̊̃͂͟͝ë̷́̈ͩ̈ͨͮ͂̓҉͈̰̯̟̜̬̥̘ͅr͎̘̣̗̼̬̹̒̑͟ͅe̢͇̤̝̼̬̫̹̱͑͑͒̐͋̾ ̜͎̤ͬ̑̋̅͒́̃͡iͤ̈̀̓ͣ̃͏̙̜̹̱͈ͅͅs̋ͮ̓̊͊͏̡͕̝̟ ̼̗̣͓͋ͮ̊͒͑͞n̸͇̭͉͈͍̝̗̗̽̆̍͊̐̿̄ó̴͈̬̮̻̯̓̃̀ͫͤ͞t̴̫̦̰̯̭̤̯̰ͨ̚͜h̶̖͈̱͆̓i̛̬̪̭̮ͨ̾̓͂ͬ̏̋͟n̹̻̩̠͉̋ͮ̆g̢̺͈̪̮̪͆̍ͩ͆ ̥̱͉̯̞̜̟͊̅̒͑̿͂̈́̈́ͣ͡tͨ͂̍̓͘͏̱̙̱̗o̷̊ͩ͑ͩ̽̈́̇҉̶̦̳̻̝̠ ̜̭͈̝̲̫̠̪̊b̧̙̮̜̲͇ͦ̈́e̝͔̹͕̲͂̑̏̔̓̾͋͂͡ͅ ̼̹͇̮̖̜̦ͧ̓ă͕̺̻͝ͅf̵͚̭̬̯̺̩ͫr̳̲͈̞͔̦͕ͫ̎ͮ̕͜ã̶͍̦̳̪͗͒͂͗̾̀͑̉i̷̡̛̮̭ͪ͂ͩ̓ͧ̆ͬdͪ̈͗ͨ̈́͏̼̪̟ ̅̀͊̑͌҉̹͎̻̝̦̖̟͔o̴̙̗̱͔̖̲͚̜̓̂̆̃̕f̛̝͍̐̍̽ͧͬ͐͜t̼̪̰͙̔̎͐͗̂ͪ͒ͤh̢̺͉̫̜̘̲͎͇̍͋ͣ͑̾ë͑̎҉̨̠͖r͑ͫ͌̋͏̰͎̩̱͉̝̰̞̯e̶͇̮͈͕̱̓̾ ̭̊̎̏̿i̪̦̜̱͎͖̫ͬ͌̉s̭̱̙̤̯͚͌͐ͣͨ̿̕ ̐͋͒̈́̔̄͌ͯͧ҉̧̤̝͕͉̬͔̰͇͕n̷̲̺̩̼̞̻͉̺͙̄̊̕o͕̠͍͙͔ͭͩͨ͝t̟̮̞̦ͬ̀ͣ̅̄̅͑͜h̭͉̟̖͗̂͟ȋͣ̾ͪ͡͏̝̫̙̮ͅn̛̙̘̬̦͖͉̯ͩͯͧ̆̈́g̥̩͐ ̵̤̭̞̯̳͇̰̑̉̑̅͑t͖̻̮̼̖̞ͣͩ͒̐͒̊͝͠o̶̼̦̥̱̱̐̊ ̷͖̠̰͓̠͒͠ḃ̥͉̗͙̜̤ͤ͗͐̐͂̄̆̽͝e͍͈͒̋ͧ̂ ͍̺̟̱̝̜̼̓͋̍a̘̰ͪͪ̾f̯̐ͤ̊̂ͤ͗͢͜ͅr̻̠͚͍̻̝͉̬͑ͪͬ͊̏ą̥͖͆̓̚ͅi͇̩̖̔̚͠ͅd́̓̔͏̴͇̯̜̫͕ ̛͈̦͇̫̐̃̅ö̮̪͓̦̱̭́̓ͮ̕f̪̲̻̯͍͍͍̈́̔̕
̸̵̮̖̻̹̝̦̹̲ͨ̆̌́͑̃ͬ́t̳̻͍͇̅̄ͦh̑̒̐̓̓͟͏̙̲e̡̺͎ͬͯ̌͒͆́ͅr̷̖̥͉͙͕̰͚̫ͤ̈̋ͥ́͒͞ͅe̱͙͎̺̖̠͋̀ ̵̝̈̚͜iͪ҉̟̲̦̠̦̲͉s̷̙̲̮͍̟͆͑ͣ͗͢ ̡̼͎͚ͭͣ̋̇ņ̵̶̗͎ͥ̉ơ̬̠ͬ̌̇ͧ̐̆ṭ̢̦̘̀ͬ͐̾͊ͨ͝h̻̗͍̺̜̠̜͚ͮͪ̄ͨ̎ͦ̄̉͝i̲͖͚̞ͥͨ́̂̈̌͌͒̊n̠̰͍̹͕͓͔̤̾̇ͣͩ̇̒̚͘ģ̠ͮ͌͌ͪ̽͂͆ͫ̚͝͞ ̭̹͚̺̱ͣͤ͞t̶͙̒̒̓ͬ͒̓͂́ö̧̦̻̮͌͑̊ͅ ̸͖̤͕̤̳̫̯̞͂͡b̨̫̻̞͊̃̿͑ͬͅe̷̳̖̼̺͓̙̫͆̑̽ͣ̿ͪ̿ ̶̭͙͚̠̺̝ͬ̊̋͐̾͒͢a͌̀̅͏̺̳͉͈̘̦f͐̓͏͍̞̦̟̻͖̩͠ŗ̤̗̘͗̈́̍ͯ̆͘͡ǎ̸͚̥̎̑͐̆̍͝ĩ͛̚͘͏̡̭̺ͅd̶̶ͬ̐ͨͭ̾ͣ҉̱̯̣̮͈̰͔̭ ͍̗̯̳͇͖̦̤ͨ͛͢o̾҉̭͇͠f̵͔͌̌̾͞
̵̮̳̠͇̥͙̏t̷͙̗̜̩̺͎͚̯͐̒͒ͯͩͫ͆̆́͞h̙͍̫̼̯͈͙͔̙̊̃͂͟͝ë̷́̈ͩ̈ͨͮ͂̓҉͈̰̯̟̜̬̥̘ͅr͎̘̣̗̼̬̹̒̑͟ͅe̢͇̤̝̼̬̫̹̱͑͑͒̐͋̾ ̜͎̤ͬ̑̋̅͒́̃͡iͤ̈̀̓ͣ̃͏̙̜̹̱͈ͅͅs̋ͮ̓̊͊͏̡͕̝̟ ̼̗̣͓͋ͮ̊͒͑͞n̸͇̭͉͈͍̝̗̗̽̆̍͊̐̿̄ó̴͈̬̮̻̯̓̃̀ͫͤ͞t̴̫̦̰̯̭̤̯̰ͨ̚͜h̶̖͈̱͆̓i̛̬̪̭̮ͨ̾̓͂ͬ̏̋͟n̹̻̩̠͉̋ͮ̆g̢̺͈̪̮̪͆̍ͩ͆ ̥̱͉̯̞̜̟͊̅̒͑̿͂̈́̈́ͣ͡tͨ͂̍̓͘͏̱̙̱̗o̷̊ͩ͑ͩ̽̈́̇҉̶̦̳̻̝̠ ̜̭͈̝̲̫̠̪̊b̧̙̮̜̲͇ͦ̈́e̝͔̹͕̲͂̑̏̔̓̾͋͂͡ͅ ̼̹͇̮̖̜̦ͧ̓ă͕̺̻͝ͅf̵͚̭̬̯̺̩ͫr̳̲͈̞͔̦͕ͫ̎ͮ̕͜ã̶͍̦̳̪͗͒͂͗̾̀͑̉i̷̡̛̮̭ͪ͂ͩ̓ͧ̆ͬdͪ̈͗ͨ̈́͏̼̪̟ ̅̀͊̑͌҉̹͎̻̝̦̖̟͔o̴̙̗̱͔̖̲͚̜̓̂̆̃̕f̛̝͍̐̍̽ͧͬ͐͜t̼̪̰͙̔̎͐͗̂ͪ͒ͤh̢̺͉̫̜̘̲͎͇̍͋ͣ͑̾ë͑̎҉̨̠͖r͑ͫ͌̋͏̰͎̩̱͉̝̰̞̯e̶͇̮͈͕̱̓̾ ̭̊̎̏̿i̪̦̜̱͎͖̫ͬ͌̉s̭̱̙̤̯͚͌͐ͣͨ̿̕ ̐͋͒̈́̔̄͌ͯͧ҉̧̤̝͕͉̬͔̰͇͕n̷̲̺̩̼̞̻͉̺͙̄̊̕o͕̠͍͙͔ͭͩͨ͝t̟̮̞̦ͬ̀ͣ̅̄̅͑͜h̭͉̟̖͗̂͟ȋͣ̾ͪ͡͏̝̫̙̮ͅn̛̙̘̬̦͖͉̯ͩͯͧ̆̈́g̥̩͐ ̵̤̭̞̯̳͇̰̑̉̑̅͑t͖̻̮̼̖̞ͣͩ͒̐͒̊͝͠o̶̼̦̥̱̱̐̊ ̷͖̠̰͓̠͒͠ḃ̥͉̗͙̜̤ͤ͗͐̐͂̄̆̽͝e͍͈͒̋ͧ̂ ͍̺̟̱̝̜̼̓͋̍a̘̰ͪͪ̾f̯̐ͤ̊̂ͤ͗͢͜ͅr̻̠͚͍̻̝͉̬͑ͪͬ͊̏ą̥͖͆̓̚ͅi͇̩̖̔̚͠ͅd́̓̔͏̴͇̯̜̫͕ ̛͈̦͇̫̐̃̅ö̮̪͓̦̱̭́̓ͮ̕f̪̲̻̯͍͍͍̈́̔̕
̸̵̮̖̻̹̝̦̹̲ͨ̆̌́͑̃ͬ́t̳̻͍͇̅̄ͦh̑̒̐̓̓͟͏̙̲e̡̺͎ͬͯ̌͒͆́ͅr̷̖̥͉͙͕̰͚̫ͤ̈̋ͥ́͒͞ͅe̱͙͎̺̖̠͋̀ ̵̝̈̚͜iͪ҉̟̲̦̠̦̲͉s̷̙̲̮͍̟͆͑ͣ͗͢ ̡̼͎͚ͭͣ̋̇ņ̵̶̗͎ͥ̉ơ̬̠ͬ̌̇ͧ̐̆ṭ̢̦̘̀ͬ͐̾͊ͨ͝h̻̗͍̺̜̠̜͚ͮͪ̄ͨ̎ͦ̄̉͝i̲͖͚̞ͥͨ́̂̈̌͌͒̊n̠̰͍̹͕͓͔̤̾̇ͣͩ̇̒̚͘ģ̠ͮ͌͌ͪ̽͂͆ͫ̚͝͞ ̭̹͚̺̱ͣͤ͞t̶͙̒̒̓ͬ͒̓͂́ö̧̦̻̮͌͑̊ͅ ̸͖̤͕̤̳̫̯̞͂͡b̨̫̻̞͊̃̿͑ͬͅe̷̳̖̼̺͓̙̫͆̑̽ͣ̿ͪ̿ ̶̭͙͚̠̺̝ͬ̊̋͐̾͒͢a͌̀̅͏̺̳͉͈̘̦f͐̓͏͍̞̦̟̻͖̩͠ŗ̤̗̘͗̈́̍ͯ̆͘͡ǎ̸͚̥̎̑͐̆̍͝ĩ͛̚͘͏̡̭̺ͅd̶̶ͬ̐ͨͭ̾ͣ҉̱̯̣̮͈̰͔̭ ͍̗̯̳͇͖̦̤ͨ͛͢o̾҉̭͇͠f̵͔͌̌̾͞
̵̮̳̠͇̥͙̏t̷͙̗̜̩̺͎͚̯͐̒͒ͯͩͫ͆̆́͞h̙͍̫̼̯͈͙͔̙̊̃͂͟͝ë̷́̈ͩ̈ͨͮ͂̓҉͈̰̯̟̜̬̥̘ͅr͎̘̣̗̼̬̹̒̑͟ͅe̢͇̤̝̼̬̫̹̱͑͑͒̐͋̾ ̜͎̤ͬ̑̋̅͒́̃͡iͤ̈̀̓ͣ̃͏̙̜̹̱͈ͅͅs̋ͮ̓̊͊͏̡͕̝̟ ̼̗̣͓͋ͮ̊͒͑͞n̸͇̭͉͈͍̝̗̗̽̆̍͊̐̿̄ó̴͈̬̮̻̯̓̃̀ͫͤ͞t̴̫̦̰̯̭̤̯̰ͨ̚͜h̶̖͈̱͆̓i̛̬̪̭̮ͨ̾̓͂ͬ̏̋͟n̹̻̩̠͉̋ͮ̆g̢̺͈̪̮̪͆̍ͩ͆ ̥̱͉̯̞̜̟͊̅̒͑̿͂̈́̈́ͣ͡tͨ͂̍̓͘͏̱̙̱̗o̷̊ͩ͑ͩ̽̈́̇҉̶̦̳̻̝̠ ̜̭͈̝̲̫̠̪̊b̧̙̮̜̲͇ͦ̈́e̝͔̹͕̲͂̑̏̔̓̾͋͂͡ͅ ̼̹͇̮̖̜̦ͧ̓ă͕̺̻͝ͅf̵͚̭̬̯̺̩ͫr̳̲͈̞͔̦͕ͫ̎ͮ̕͜ã̶͍̦̳̪͗͒͂͗̾̀͑̉i̷̡̛̮̭ͪ͂ͩ̓ͧ̆ͬdͪ̈͗ͨ̈́͏̼̪̟ ̅̀͊̑͌҉̹͎̻̝̦̖̟͔o̴̙̗̱͔̖̲͚̜̓̂̆̃̕f̛̝͍̐̍̽ͧͬ͐͜

 

not a gremlin: uhh
okay this chat is usually completely fucked up and weird as shit
but this is actually scary 

muke: im just waiting for satan to crawl out of my phone

INCINERATE #2: brendon wont fit in ur phone

brenny: haha ur funny 

farquaad fucker: i knew letting tyler and josh in was a bad idea 

jsh: E̲ͤ͊ͮV̶̶͚̖̌͋̿͐̊E̷̖̙̠̟̬̥̽͐̽́ͬͅR̍̈́͊҉̺̣̝̯̰̘͘͠Y̡̨̫̦͖͓̞͉̓ͮ͐̈́̏̓ͨ͝ͅǑͬͯ̇͏̰̮̰͕͝N̨͕̔̔́E̵͈͕͇̭̻̬̤͂̔̕ ̧͖̭͚̘̝̳̳̟͑̀̚M̟̭̖̹̖̘͔̱̍ͭ̎̆͋ͅA̗̻̋͂̓̋̈́Ḵ̢̡̺̭͕̮̤̗ͥE̶̶̳̳̯̩̘͓̦ͬͮ͆͑ͪ̉͡S̹̟̥̣̜̠̰͛͊ͪ̃͆̌͞ ͓͇̣̫͖̐ͤ̿̎̈́͗ͫͬ͟M̵̧̼̪̣͂Į̭͔̹̱̮̮̻͕́ͭͤ͛̀͑S̫̱͚̟̅ͣT̨͔̞͂̋͗̚͟A̴̛̼̥̘͉̦̬͚ͦ͆ͨ͘ͅĶ̵̢̜͙̤̳̫̗̙̭̐̊̔ͤE̴̗̳͔͍̪͌ͥ͒͞S̴̤̟̙̥̥̞̳͋̒̔
t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬t̞͉̳̥̦̄̑͊̃̾̄͌ͅh̻̦̣ę̫̙͍̑́͗ȓ̪̦͆̃͑͒e̙͉̺̲̓́̓ͥ̈̕ ̴̰͙̲͔̙̹̐͂i̟̟̗̝̗̰̇͟s̛͉̺͔̮͈͎̑ͪͥͣ ̠̯̠͈͉̖͍ͤ̔̔̀n̗͉̿͗́̀o͙̼̗͖t̨̫̺̐͐h͔̓̒̓ͦ̓͋̕i̵̼̼̭n̥͈͍͉͕ͫ͂̓̈̾̕ǵͣ ̖̩̞̎̌ͫt̅̈ͥ̚o̱̲̱͉̲͖͋ͩͮ̈́͛ ̝̻̣͖̼͓͉̽ͩ͌̉͢b̬̞̻̜͉ͥ̀̊̎̄e̵͙͓̟̠̱ͪͩ͐ͭ ͉̬͙̤̻̜͍ͬ̚a̳̋̒f̻͎̹͔͍͖̥̎̐̽̓̿͢r͍͖a̤̘̖͈̾͗i̡͉̓̇̀̑̐͛d̨̝͔́͊̊ͯͪͯ ͐̉̀ͪ̉ͨ͂҉̺͙̦͕̤o̜͎ͫ̄̓͛ͪ̚͞f̺ͥ͛̈́̂̅̚
̣͔̪͇̺͚̋t̘͎̍ͩ̃̅ͮͅh̪͓͕͍͋̋͗e͓͍̗̩̟̽ͫͮ̿̃r̪̮̖͚̫̼͍̽͂ĕ̡͔̳͎͍̗̇́̃́͌͌ ̣͔̰́i͋́̏̋͏̩͈͚̱͇s̶̲̱̫̫̹̤̊̍̓ͦͦ͑ ̻̠̩̠̭͇̄ṉ̬͗ͪͨͨo̢̺̭̭ͯt̬͚ͣ̈́͘h͛̆̔͂i̮̙̰͕͓̗ͣ̈́̑ͧ̄̓̚n̳͈͔͜g̠̙̘͍͍
̘n̼͙̹͕ͬ̓̃ͭ͞ ͚̳̗̲̯̈́͂́̑̃̇͋o̬͕͗̋͟ͅ ͗̈́̿͛͌͘t͈̺̭͉̮̭͑̉͗͋̉ ̩̊ͭh̢̻̣̲͔̜̰̟̓̈ ͕͉̗̭ͨ͒̉ͬ͊̄ͅḭ̯̳̹͝ ̹̣͙͉͎̺ͤ͌̚n̙̙̦͕̻̭͡ ͉͉ͅġ̙͒
̴̿ͮN̰͓̻͖̯̯ͣͬͧ ͔̼͕̮̯̯̖ͪ̓ͥỌͨͣ͒̂ ̦̘͎̅ͧ̽ͤͤ̏ͩ̕ͅṰ̶̯͚̰̺̻̋ͣ͆ͤͯ̓ͭͅ ̭̹̘̱̩͉̣ͫͥͩ̇ͩ͠H͈̱̼̭̞ ̱̖͙̲͖̩͐͝I̫͖̟̰̐̐ͬ́̊̉ ̤̻̻̐̆ͤ̃Ṇ̡͈͈͙̗̹̓̾͋̆ ̷̮̰̞̹̄̓̓̈́G̶͚͎͇̞̖̬

 

Error 0087910: THREAT HAS BEEN DEACTIVATED
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REACTIVATE

CONNECTION LOST DUE TO UNKNOWN ERROR
XBL government web server 13:35PM 5/5/2017 Case File 14-8-64-0-96 NOT FOR PUBLIC ACCESS TERMINATED FOR PUBLIC SAFETY

Chapter Text

- Josh Dun added Tyler Joseph, Brendon Urie, Dallon Weekes, Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Billie Joe Armstrong, Frank Iero, Mike Dirnt, Tré Cool and Ray Toro to IM SORRY

 

Josh Dun: guys
talk to me
im sorry 

Tré Cool: okay

Mikey Way: go away josh

 

- Mikey Way removed Josh Dun from IM SORRY

 

Tyler Joseph: he said hes sorry mikey 

Brendon Urie: soRRY DOEST BRING OUR CHAT BACK DOES IT TYLER

 

- Tyler Joseph added Josh Dun to IM SORRY

 

Josh Dun: BEFORE U GET BITCHY AND REMOVE ME AGAIN
I. AM. SORRY.

Billie Joe Armstrong: josh
our beloved chat got TERMINATED by the GOVERNMENT bc of u

Josh Dun: yes billie i know thanks for ur input
but i said sorry what more do u want

Ray Toro: for u to go away
be gone beast

 

- Ray Toro removed Josh Dun from IM SORRY

 

- Tyler Joseph added Josh Dun to IM SORRY

 

- Tyler Joseph renamed the group everyone stop removing josh

 

- Mike Dirnt renamed the group no

 

- Tyler Joseph renamed the group yeS

 

- Josh Dun renamed the group sorry i got the chat terminated by the government

 

- Frank Iero renamed the group no one cares

 

- Gerard Way renamed the group WHATS DONE IS DONE (but fuck u josh)

 

Dallon Weekes: thE ONE FUCKING TIME IM DOING GOOD IN ENGLISH I GET SENT OUT BECAUSE OF NOTIFICATIONS 

Brendon Urie: dallon tell the truth
u got sent out for calling me a cuntmonkey 

Dallon Weekes: but u are a cuntmonkey tho

 

- Josh Dun changed Brendon Urie's nickname to cuntmonkey 

 

cuntmonkey: joSH 
FUCK OFF

 

- cuntmonkey changed Josh Dun's nickname to josh is a fuckstick

 

josh is a fuckstick: tyler look
look what satan did to me

cuntmonkey: oH IM SATAN?
UR THE ONE WHO FUCKING SUMMONED HIM INTO OUR CHAT AND ALERTED THE GOVERNMENT AND GOT US ALL IN TROUBLE WITH THE PRESIDENT

Gerard Way: okay but it was funny when ray was like "im the president the chat doesnt lie"

Ray Toro: but the chat DOESNT lie

Mikey Way: so if the chat says josh is a bitch then josh really is a bitch right

Ray Toro: yes mikoy

 

- josh is a fuckstick changed Mikey Way's nickname to mikoy

 

- mikoy renamed the group josh is a bitch

 

Tyler Joseph: i got kicked out bc of notifications can we put this behind us and go hang on the roof or some shit

Billie Joe Armstrong: the roof is off bounds now
the principal has put cameras up there

Mike Dirnt: only bc tre fell off and landed in his arms and spawned a load of fanfictions about the two of them

Tyler Joseph: so smash the cameras?? u guys arent v smart are u

Dallon Weekes: um fuck u?

Tyler Joseph: um suck my dick??

cuntmonkey: um dallon isnt sucking anyones dick except mine???

josh is a fuckstick: um its up to dallon to make his own life choices????

Tyler Joseph: um josh ur my boyfriend u shouldht let anyone suck my dick?????

josh is a fuckstick: shit u right??????

 

- Frank Iero renamed the group ??????

 

mikoy: gerard do u know mom and dad are super pissed at us for getting in trouble with the government right

Gerard Way: yes mikey i know im just choosing to ignore them

Billie Joe Armstrong: ignoring ur parents is rude gerard

Gerard Way: billie suck a donkeys dick 
ur rude too

Billie Joe Armstrong: but not to my parents 

Mike Dirnt: oh yea that reminds me
when are u gonna tell ur parents about us bj

Billie Joe Armstrong: hm let me see
never

Mike Dirnt: jfc 
i told my parents about us ages ago 

Billie Joe Armstrong: ur parents are ncie tho

josh is a fuckstick: urs arent?

Billie Joe Armstrong: nobody asked u fuckstick 
swiftly moving on
tylers idea of chillin on the roof sounds kewl lets go

Mike Dirnt: billie pls dont just get up and walk out of class again
oh 
u already did
stop making faces through the door
stOP
aaaaaand ive been kicked out

Ray Toro: a thrilling saga

Frank Iero: billies like that one movie character whos really mysterious and no one knows their past but its really tragic 

Tyler Joseph: im curious now
billie do u haave a tragic past

Billie Joe Armstrong: wow would u look at the time
time for tyler to shut the fuck up 

Tré Cool: im also curious btw

Billie Joe Armstrong: stop asking questions u dont wanna know the answers to
u know hwat they say
curiosity killed the cat

Gerard Way: whos they

josh is a fuckstick: they are no one
and also everyone

cuntmonkey: josh stop being weird

 

- mikoy renamed the group josh stop being weird

 

- josh is a fuckstick renamed the group josh isnt here

 

Dallon Weekes: u know im always gonna remember this as "that one time josh got us all in trouble with the actual real government"

cuntmonkey: ah yes
as opposed to the time josh got us all in trouble with the fake government 

mikoy: i dont remember that

cuntmonkey: then u must have brian damage 

Tré Cool: but whos brian 

Frank Iero: brian damage
cant u read tre

Tré Cool: no my names dallon

 

- Mike Dirnt changed Tré Cool's nickname to dallon

 

dallon: hey dallon look im u now

Dallon Weekes: rad

 

- Mike Dirnt changed Dallon Weekes's nickname to other dallon

 

also dallon: so many dallon
too much dallon

Tyler Joseph: the word dallon makes no sense at all

 

- Mike dirnt changed Billie Joe Armstrong's nickname to also dallon

 

- Mike Dirnt changed Tyler Joseph's nickname to not dallon

 

- Mike Dirnt changed josh is a fuckstick's nickname to not dallon either

 

- Mike Dirnt changed cuntmonkey's nickname definitely not dallon

 

- Mike Dirnt changed Ray Toro's nickname to maybe dallon

 

definitely not dallon: mike change them back

maybe dallon: first fish, then literally shut the fuck up, now dallon

other dallon: i kinda like this
its like haveing a small army of me

not dallon either: i suddenly regret ever becoming frens with brendon

dallon: this episode of group chat:
an abundance of dallons

 

- not dallon renamed the group an abundance of dallons

 

other dallon: dallon can confim that dallon likes the dallons

also dallon: my dallon hurts
BRAIN
I MEANT BRAIN
fuc k 

Chapter Text

- Mike Dirnt removed also dallon from an abundance of dallons

 

Mike Dirnt: billies still asleep so hopefully he wont notice i removed him from the chat
anyhoo
i need ur help

dallon: lemme check my diary
it said no 

Mike Dirnt: dont be such a fuckhead tre
its about the mystery that is billies life

definitely not dallon: ill helP
but only if u sort out this mess of dallons

other dallon: no brnedon no
i like it
i like the many dallons

not dallon: sign me tf up i love being nosy 

 

- Mike Dirnt renamed the group operation do NOT tell billie whats going on

 

not dallon either: wait what arerent we allowed to tell billie about

not dallon: we're finding out his past with mike 

not dallon either: ooh count me in this souunds fun
scooby doo

mikoy: harry truman 
u guys remember that conversation

Gerard Way: yes mikey we remember ur freaky obsession with harry truman 

mikoy: aight no need to be fucking rude 

maybe dallon: heres a deal
well all help u mike 
but only if u change our names back to something a little less... dallon

Mike Dirnt: ugh fine
ruin my fun
ur all getting shitty nicknames btw

 

- Mike Dirnt changed maybe dallon's nickname to rayman

 

- Mike Dirnt changed definitely not dallon's nickname to brenny

 

- Mike Dirnt changed not dallon's nickname to tyjo

 

- Mike Dirnt changed not dallon either's nickname to joosh

 

- Mike Dirnt changed other dallon's nickname to dally

 

- Mike Dirnt changed dallon's nickname to tray

 

- Mike Dirnt changed Frank Iero's nickname to fronk

 

- Mike Dirnt changed Gerard Way's nickname to gayrard

 

- Mike Dirnt changed their own nickname to mook

 

tray: 1/10 coulda donw better

mook: im not looking for votes im looking for help
u in or nah

dally: isnt this like
betraying ur boyfriends trust
and prying into his pribate life
and just generally being an ass

mook: absoulutely 

dally: aight im in

rayman: isnt billie gonna notice hs isnt getting 263789402876 notifications a minute

mook: thats where ur wrong raymond
i have taken his phone and i have gone outside
that way he cannot see his phone to see hes no longer part of the squad and he cannot see my phone to see what im doing 

joosh: smart

mook: ty josh
anyway
first of all dos anyone kkn0w anything that they wanna tell me

tray: yes actually
u know that time u yelled at frank for eating all the brownies
it was actually me

mook: i meant about billie u unripe tomato
wait that was u

fronk: i fucKCING TOLD U IT WASNT ME MIKE
HOWS ABOUT A LITTLE TRUST NEXT TIME BUDDY

gayrard: i dont like my nickname or this idea
billies our fren u guys we shouldnt be doing this

fronk: gerard dont be such a chamber pot

mikoy: chaMBER BOT IM SCRRECHING

tyjo: "chamber bot" mikey no

dally: bot pot
POT BOT

brenny: rain drop
drop top
mikey cant spell chamber pot

rayman: ooh nice meme 10/10 

brenny: thank u ray  i try 

mikoy: 0/10 not a nice meme bc it involves me

gayrard: shut up mikey u are a meme

 

- tyjo changed mikoy's nickname to memekey

 

memekey: 0/10 tyler bad nickname

tyjo: 0/10 mikey kiss my ass

joosh: 0/10 only im allowed to kiss tylers ass

mook: 0/10 TO EVERYONE FOR NOT HELPING ME 

tray: whAT DO U EVEN WANT US TO DO MIKE JFC
DO U WANT ME TO BREAK INTO BILLIES HOUSE AND FIND OUT SOME SPOOKY SECRETS

mook: yea okay

tray: aight wheres he live

tyjo: wait u dont know where ur best freiend lives

brenny: that isnt suspicious at all

gayrard: no ones breaking into billies house wtf is wring with u guys

mook: ive never actually been to his house
but tre ill pm u the number and street 

joosh: whY HAVE U NEVER BEEN TO UR BOYFRIENDS HOUSE 
HOW LONG HAVE U KNOWN HIM

mook: liKE 6 YEARS JOSH BUTT OUT OMG

tyjo: ive known hosh for like 2 years and ive been to his house pretty mcub every day 
hell ive known brendon for like 2 weeks and ive been to his house 4 times

brenny: yes but u werent invited were u tyler

tyjo: thats irrelevant 

brenny: ur irrelevant 

fronk: thIS WHOLE GODDAMN CONVERSATUON IS IRRELEVANT 
MIKE GET ON WITH WHAT U WANT US TO DO 

mook: WELL I WANT U TO TELL ME IF BILLIES EVER SAID ANYTHING WEIRD TO ANY OF U

rayman: literally everything billie says is weird 
be a lil more pacific 

dally: why be pacific when u can be atlantic 

 

- gayrard renamed the group why be the pacific when u can be the atlantic

 

mook: im removing u all from my will
fuck u all

joosh: why do u have a will arent u like 12

mook: shut up ur like 7

tyjo: if josh is 7 im 7 too

mook: anYWAY 
i have a will bc when billie finds out about this he will murder me

gayrard: WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY WE SHOULDNT BE DOIG THIS
IM SURE BILLIES JUST HIDING THINGS FROM U BC HE DOESNT FEEL LIKE THEYRE NECESSARY TO SAY 

brenny: gerard 
listen
me and dallon know everything about each other
tyler and josh know everything about each other
u and frank know everything about each other
mike knows everything about billie
but no one knows anything about billie

gayrard: its none of our business jfc brendon

dally: wait
what do we actuallt know about billie

memekey: his name is billie hes 16 and hes gay

rayman: i know this is wrong and all that
but ngl i am kinda curious 
maybe hes a serial killer and he has a murder castle

dally: hes like 5ft tall hes not a serial killer

memekey: dallon shut up he almost beat u in a fight

dally: shit u right

tray: mike
the plot thickens

mook: ooh what

tray: i went to billies "house"
a single mom with a baby daughter lives there
shes never heard of billie

mook: what
w h a t

rayman: he lying to u mike he lying

mook: thATS WHY HE TOLD ME NOT TO GO ROUND
FIRST HE TOLD ME THE HOUSE WAS BEING RE DECORATED
THEN HIS MOM WAS ILL
THE LIST GOES ON

tyjo: i am intrigued 

gayrard: shit
u guys got me
i wanna know shit too

memekey: yes gerard come to the dark side
leave the namby pamby life behind

gayrard: mikey stfu u cried yesterday bc u forgot to pay for a pack of gum
ur as namby pamby as they get

memekey: ur no longer welcome on the dark side

mook: well thats all we have time for folks
billies yelling at me and asking where i am
time to add him back and delete the messages

tray: well get to the bottom of billie joe armstrong eventually 

tyjo: mike already has a lot of practice getting to the bottom of billie joe armstrong 

mook: tyLER FUCk

joosh: 10/10 good joke tyler

mook: stop being weird everyoen act normal billies coming back

 

- mook added also dallon to why be the pacific when u can be the atlantic

 

brenny: wE FORGOT A DALLON

mook: brenDON I SAID ACT NORMAL

Chapter Text

also dallon: okay u fuckers
its been a day and a half
one of u tell me why everyones nicknames and the group name have changed
and also why was i removed

tyjo: josh was being satanic again and things got weird idk ask mike hes the one who removed u

mook: tyLER FUCK 

joosh: thats twive u said that now

rayman: so now we have
"trE NO"
"brendon what the actual fuck"
"billie no wtf"
and the latest and greatest 
"tyLER FUCK"

also dallon: mike why 
why would u remove me 

mook: josh was being satanic again and things got weird idk quit asking questions

tyjo: petition to make "josh was being satanic again and things got weird idk" the reply for everything 
pls pls pls

memekey: "why didnt u do ur homework?"
"josh was being satanic again and things got weird idk"

gayrard: "why are u late for class again?"
"josh was being satanic again and things got weird idk"

also dallon: why wont anyone give me a straight answer

fronk: josh was being satanic again and things got weird idk 

tray: billie u cant get a straight answer if ur not straight

brenny: someone change billies nickname 
the dallon thing is bothering me

fronk: "the dallon thing is bothering me" 
thats no way to talk about ur boyfriend brendon

 

- memekey renamed the group the dallon thing is bothering me

 

dally: i bother myself too dw

 

- dally changed also dallon's nickname to billieboy

 

billieboy: ooh
snazzy 

tray: billie never say that again like ever

billieboy: snazzy

tray: welp thats it goodbye

 

- tray removed billieboy from the dallon thing is bothering me

 

joosh: tre why
WAIT
ur smart
now we can continue the investigation

mook: not really
hes sat right next to me whining about missing out on the trainwreck that is our chat

memekey: QUICKLY 
EVERYONE TELL MIKE WHAT THEY FOUND OUT
i didnt actually find out anything but hey ho

tray: wait
we were suposed to find shit out?

dally: i snooped through his phone this morning while he wasnt looking does that count

tyjo: son of a bitch 
stole my idea

brenny: fuk u tyler my boyfriends smarter than u

joosh: at least tyler can spell

gayrard: oooOOOHHHH 
fucking savage joshua

mook: u snooped through his phone??????

dally: yep
well only his contacts 
he literally only has us in the chat as his contacts 
there no one else at all

rayman: well thats definitely not weird 

tyjo: wtf ray yes it is

rayman: carcass tyler
k well when i sent that it said sarcasm idk wtf happened 

joosh: carcass tyler
tyler the carcass 

brenny: tyler the creator more like tyler the carcass

mook: delete the messages im adding bj back

 

- mook added billieboy to the dallon thing is bothering me

 

tray: welcome back nothing happened 

billieboy: okay?
anyway
i feel like we havent been kicked out of class in a while
so thats what were doing today boyz

joosh: im like a pro at getting kicked out
watch and learn

fronk: josh we arent even in the same class how can we watch

joosh: fine whatevrr
imagine and learn idk

tyjo: ill keep u guys updated
k hes standing up
now hes walking to the teachers desk
o fuck joSH NO 

billieboy: what he do whAT HE DO 

joosh: and that is how its done

brenny: that comment would have been nice if we knew what u even did 

tyjo: he climbed on the teachers desk and backflipped off it 

fronk: backflippings old now 
u know what never gets old
yelling at mr turner

memekey: frank ur responsible for at least 12 of that mans gray hairs 

fronk: thats an achievment right

dally: billie 
i have questions 

mook: dallon no 
no questions 

billieboy: calm down michael the boy is allowed to ask questions

dally: okay question number 1:
can we all come over to ur house later 

billieboy: that would be rad
but
my moms really sick and she doesnt rlly want anyone in the house u feel me
we can go to mikes tho 

mook: has mike agreed to this

fronk: but mike... u are mike

dally: okay
question number 2:
for future ferfererence 
where do u live 

billieboy: the street by the 7-11
numebr 409
but u guys cant go round there alrighT
my mom is super super sick 

tray: um billie
number 409 is where some woman lives with her lil kid
dont even ask me how i know that okay just dont even ask

billieboy: shit my bad
i meant 408

dally: ookay
question number 4:

brenny: no dallon
u forgot question 3

dally: what is question 3

brenny: idk ur the one asking the questions

dally: exactly brenon 
im the one asking the questions
dont fucking interrupt me :)

tyjo: :O

joosh: :OOO

billieboy: okay so whats question 3 
bc i dont like answring questions lets hurry thuis up pls

dally: question number 3:
do u consider urself to be secretary

billieboy: no im not a secretary? wtf

memekey: ill bet any one of u $500 he meant to say something else

dally: i consalted autocorrect
i meant secretive 

memekey: fucking a 
pay up fuckers

gayrard: suck my left testicle mikey that isnt how bets work

billieboy: no im not secretive either

dally: okay so final question:
why do u lie about literally everything

mook: dallon jesus christ

brenny: o shit
ZERO chill

gayrard: aboRT ABORT ABORT

 

- gayrard removed billieboy from the dallon thing is bothering me

 

memekey: geRARD WHAT THE FUCK U JUST MADE IT 19827367289 TIMES WORSE WHY

gayrard: FUCK U MIKEY 
I PANICKED AND ACCIDENTALLY REMOVED HIM
but hey at least i fixed the probem

mook: but gerard... u didnt fix the problem
u removed him from the chat 
u didnt remove him from our lives so hes gonna remember dallon calling him a liar

dally: okay but he IS a liar....

mook: this is billie btw
i stole mikes phone so caN ONE OF U FUCKERS TELL ME WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCKING FUCK IS HAPPENING
mike again
i stole my phone back
i think we fucked up

rayman: we dun goofed

 

- tyjo renamed the group we dun goofed

 

fronk: tyler ur not helping

tyjo: yes i am shut up

tray: adding billie back to try to sort this mess out
delete what ya wanna delete and keep the rest

 

- tray added billieboy to we dun goofed

 

billieboy: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
DALLON IM NOT A LIAR WHAT THE HELL

joosh: damn son why he so angry

dally: yall can sugarcoat it as much as u want but imma get straight to it
BILLIE WE KNOW UR LYING ABOUT UR ENTIRE LIFE PLS JUST TELL US THE TRUTH WE ARE UR FRENS

billieboy: honestly
im pissed that ur snooping around in my prIVATE LIFE
but im even more pissed that u literally just said "yall"

gayrard: ignore them billie i wante no part in this shitstorm 

memekey: dont lie u little shit ur just as nosy as the rest of us

mook: billie pls just tell me 
whats the deal with ur parents/house/whatever
like u wont even tell me where u live jfc

billieboy: mike why cant u understand that u dont need to know everything about me

fronk: mikes ur boyfrind tho??????

tray: this is so bad omg
this is legit terrible

mook: billie just answer one fucking question okay
why wont u tell ur parents about us being togetehr

billieboy: none of ur fucking business
now stop fucking asking me questions and shut the fuck uP
thats aimed at all of u btw :)

brenny: billie were ur friends
ik we suck at taking things seriously
but u can tell us if somethings up u knwow

joosh: woW BRENDONS BEING NICE WHAT IS THIS SORCERY 

brenny: go choke on tylers dick 

mook: so billie
u gonna stop being so weird and mysterious now

billieboy: no
go away
shut the fuck up
stop fuCKING ASKING ME STUFF
I. DONT. WANT. TO. FUCKING. TALK. ABOUT. IT

mook: are yOU FUCKING SERIOUS
WHY ARE U BEING SUCH A FUCKING BRAT BILLIE FUCKING HELL I JUST WANNA KNOW SOME BASIC SHIT BUT U FLIIP OUT AND START ACTING LIKE A STUPID FUCKING 2 YEAR OLD AS USUAL 
ARE U FUCKING STUPID OR SOMETHING

gayrard: omg the drama
holy shit 

memekey: i cant even take this level of drama send immediate help

billieboy: u know what michael
consider urself single :)
i dont wanna talk to u anymore
and when i next see u imma fuck u up boy

mook: okay so i didnt actually mean all that lmao oops

billieboy: dont care fuck off
@ the rest of u: ur no longer my friends dont talk to me
excet maybe gerard
no wait he can fuck off too :)

 

- billieboy left we dun goofed

 

tyjo: oh my god this is bad
this is so so so bad

mook: do me a favor
shoot me in the fucking face
itll probably hurt less than this 

tray: well shit

fronk: i still cant believe dallon said yall

Chapter Text

gayrard: guys
explain to tre he still has to apologise for crackiing my phone even if it was an accident

memekey: tre
u still have to apologise 

tray: why
it was an ACCIDENT
if i remember correctly 
brendon didnt apologise to tyler for almost killing him and that was an accident 

brenny: shut up tre yes i did

tyjo: u really didnt tho..

brenny: YES I DID

joosh: what about when women get pregannt by accident 
they dont have to apologise do they

tray: thANK U JOSH
FINALLY A VALID POINT

rayman: that isnt valid lmao
a woman getting accidentally pregnant is a but different to tre breaking gerards phone

gayrard: why would a woman have to apologise for being pregnant anyway

fronk: if she was part of an anti-pregnant club and the rules were ur not allowed to get pregnant and she turned up one day and was like "sorry im pregnant" 
she would be appologising for being pregnant 
see

gayrard: yes but frank there is no such thing as an anti pregnant club

 

- dally renamed the group the anti-pregnant club

 

dally: ayyy

brenny: ayyy 
dallon where u been boi

dally: oh u know
the usual
trying to stop billies rampage 

mook: billies what now

tray: mike u missed our argument about pregnant women and gerards phone

mook: aw damn 
i always wanted to see an argument about pregnant omen and phones

tyjo: pregnant omen
that sounds mildly satanic

rayman: can we not talk about satan with josh in the group he might summon him into the chat again

joosh: are u guys still not over that jfc

brenny: no were not over it josh
and were never going to be over it
u gOT OUR CHAT BANNED BY THE GOVERNMENT 

dally: abyway
yea
billies on a rampage 

mook: how

dally: well hes punched 3 people and 2 walls
and he called me an asshole for saying hello to him so

mook: hes a fucking asshole 
i hope he gets kicked out 

tray: mike jessu fucking christ
u 2 gotta sort this shit out

mook: haha no
its over for good this time
he can fuck himself 
stupid lil bitch

brenny: okay but someone should make sure hes okay
bugsy not me i dont wanna get murdered 

rayman: ill go 
i didnt actualy do anyrhing wrong so
if i dont reply soon im probably dead

memekey: in the meantme
i may or may not have secretly followed billie when he left school yesterday

mook: ooh sneaky sneak
i mean he ussually comes to mine after school but thats obviously not happening anymore 
where did he go

memekey: he didnt actually go anywhere 
like
he just kind of walked around for a few hours until some shady lookin dude pulled up in a truck and dragged him inside it

mook: okay what the actual fuck

tray: mikey u asshole
u just stood there and watched as he was kidnapped 

memekey: he wasnt fucking kidnapped tre omfg
stop dramatising things

joosh: ray hasnt replied do u think hes dead

gayrard: no but i think i shiuld go rescue him

rayman: no dont rescue me im fine

tray: thAT SOUNDS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE SOMEONE WHOS BEING HELD HOSTAGE WOULD SAY
DONT WORRY RAY HANG IN THERE WE ARE SENDING BACKUP 

memekey: trE I SAID STOP DRAMATISING THINGS 

rayman: IM NOT BEING HELD HOSTAGE WE ARE HAVING A CALM DISCUSSION LEAVE US ALONE

tyjo: isnt anyone else bored of the billie drama now
likee
him and mike broke up and hes no longer friends with us 
lets just leave it at that

fronk: "obama means family" 
does that quote mean nothing to u u heartless fool
oHANA NOT OBAMA NO 

 

- brenny renamed the group obama means family

 

gayrard: dont worry u guys president obama will save our friendhip with billie

joosh: he isnt the president anymore gerard

gayrard: YES HE IS SHUT UP
I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT ORANGE ABOMINATION IS REAL

mook: ah yes
trump is a myth

brenny: god i fucking wish

fronk: okay lets stop talking about politics now or mikey will start talking about harry truman again 

memekey: my bfuooudop

tyjo: whats a bfuooudop

memekey: best friends until one of us dies of pneumonia 

joosh: me and tyler are bfuoougstdfocatc

tyjo: ayy my bfuoougstdfocatc

rayman: and that is???

tyjo: best friends until one of us gets sentenced to death for our crimes against the crown

mook: well me and billie USED to be bfuoouktoiarfor
best friends until one of us kills the other in a random fit of rage

fronk: nice
me and gerard are just gay

mook: now i actually miss my bfuoouktoiarfor
we need to fix this 

rayman: already working on it
altho billie is still kinda mad about the whole thing

memekey: ask him who the truck dude is 

gayrard: or we can just go back to how things used to be
u know
when we werent all poking around in our friends private affairs

tray: gerard
dont spread rumors
billie isnt having an affair

mook: wait what 
billies doing what

dally: havung an affair apparently

tray: i just said he WASNT having an affair are u guys illiterate 

dally: acyuallly
yes

tyjo: only one way to fix this men
actually idk how to fix this i was just trying to be dramatic
please ignore me

rayman: he fuCKING SAW THE MESSAGES RIP 
HE KNOWS WERE ONTO HIM ABORT ABORT ABORT
MIKEY HE KNOWS U FOLLOWED HIM RUN

memekey: raY I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF HISTORY CLASS I CANT JUST GET UP AND RUN AWAY

gayrard: yea u can
i run away from history all the time its fine
WIAT WHAT TEACHER DO U HAVE

memekey: the lannister dude

tray: u mean tywin
we agreed on tywin

tyjo: waIT U GUYS ARE THE ONES WHO STARTED THE WHOLE TYWIN LANNISTER HISTORY TEACHER THING

tray: well actually i did but yea

gayrard: alrigt mikey ur good u can run away from tywin
its the bitch lady u gotta watch out for

memekey: BILLIE JUST WALKED IN RIP ME
BURY ME AT SEA LIKE MY FATHER AND HIS FATHER BEFORE HIM

gayrard: mikey our dad is still alive what the fuck

fronk: ooooh he looks pissed
lmao tywin was like "ur not here to throw ur shirt at me again are u"

mook: im coming to watch 
come on my dudes lets go watch 

tyjo: im already here this is wiLD
billies yelling and making a scene
mikeys kind of hiding under his desk
tywin is giving everyone detention but no ones really listening

brenny: mike come and control ur (ex) boyfriend 
hes causing the biggest fucking scene ever

mook: im quite happy watching through the window

fronk: hoLY SHIT U GUYS MAKE SURE UR ALL THERE
THE SCENE IS ABOUT TO GET BIGGER

tray: WHY WHY WHY WHATS HAPPENING

fronk: GERARD STOLE ONE OF THE SWORD PROPS AND HES CHARGING INTO BATTLE TO SAVE MIKEY

brenny: YES GERARD fUcK IT UP
FUCK. IT. UP.

memekey: geRARD HES FUCKING CRAZY HELP ME 

tyjo: I LIED I LIED I LIED
I AM NOT BORED OF THE BILLIE DRAMA
THIS WILL NEVER GET BORIHNG

gayrard: THIS SWROD IS FUCKING HEAVY HOLY SHIT
BUT IM COMING MIKEY 

mook: ur not gonna actually hit him with a sword are u

gayrard: calm down its fake its paper mache or some shit 
it probably wont even hurt himt

tray: "probably"

brenny: o shIT DID U GUYS FUCKING SEE GERARD JUST PRACTUCALLY KICK THE DOOR DOWN
HE FUCKING JUMPED ACORSS FOUR DESKS 
FRANJ UR BOYFRIEND IS A BADASS

rayman: franj ha

 

- joosh changed fronk's nickname to franj

 

franj: usually i would complain
BUT HOLY FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER THAT JUMP WAS MAJESTIC 

mook: geraRD U SAID U WERENT GONNA HURT HIM U FUCKING STABBED HIM 

gayrard: ITS FAKE MICHAEL CALM UR SHIT
o shit
ohh
okay this took an unexpected and horrible turn

dally: whats going on i can barely see over rays hair

tyjo: everyhings gone silent
tywin jut ran over to billie
wait why isnt billie moving gerard what did u do to him

gayrard: ha funny story
u know how i said i picked up a fake sword

mook: yea???

gayrard: well theres also a real sword that theyre basing the fake ones on
and the real sword and the fake swords look very similar 

mook: where is this going exactly

gayrard: i may or may not have accidentally picked up the real sword instead of the fake one??

mook: holy shit
h o l y   s h i t
hOLY SHIT

gayrard: i... 
i stabbed billie wiTH A REAL MOTHERFUCKING SWORD WHAT THE FUCK IM GOING TO JAIL HOLY FUCK

dally: oh dear lord 
i dont even know what to say but it feels like someone should say something

tray: uh guys
mike just passed out on the floor

franj: oh my god this is so bad
wHY DO WE DO THESE THINGS
WHY ARE WE ALLOWED OUT IN PUBLIC

memekey: oh no hes bleeding a lot 
gerard u cut him real bad

gayrard: like
bad enough to kill him??

memekey: maybe idk

joosh: that is...
a lot of blod
oh no

gayrard: tywins calling the cops on me u guys
im fucked
goodbye

brenny: run away to nebraska 
quickly
ill help u escape

memekey: brendon no offence but ur making things worse

tray: lmao that awkward moment when u try to save ur brother and accidentally stab someone lms if u agree

rayman: trE NO

Chapter Text

franj: wassup fuckers
im with billie at the hospital
hes alive so thats a plus
he wants me to add him back

gayrard: k well im out bye

 

- gayrard left obama means family

 

- franj added billieboy to obama means family

 

memekey: yea same
im out

 

- memekey left obama means family

 

- mook left obama means family

 

franj: stOP LEAVING IM TRYING TO FIX THINGS

billieboy: so how is everyone after the great stabbing of '17

tray: billie good news
everyone ships u and tywin now

billieboy: oh that is good news
but why

dally: bc he was the one who carried u outside to the ambluence 
and by carrying i dont mean like carry carrying
i mean ful on bridal style 

joosh: i took a picture do u wanna see it

joosh sent a photo to  obama means family

billieboy: i look literally dead but hey at least my hairs on point
OH YEA THAT REMINDS ME
I WAS LEGALLY DEAD FOR 20 MINUTES AND I LITERALY BECAME A GHOST 

rayman: holy shit are u fucken serious 

brenny: wait i dnt understand this
u say u legally died
can u illegally die?

billieboy: yea 
u need to have at least 12 square feet of cops in the room u die in or is illegal death and ur getting ur ghost ass arrested and sent to ghost jail
luckily there ws cops in my hospit room bc they were worried gerard would come try and stab me again

dally: "12 square feet of cops" billie are u okay

billieboy: no dallon i was fucking stabbed
but yea im okay how are u

franj: the nurses gave him some pain drug things
and then he stole some more
so hes a little fucked rn

billieboy: but BOY AM I BUZZIN 

tyjo: frank please stop him before he does something dumb

franj: no this is funny

 

- dally added mook to obama means family

 

dally: mike its okay u can talk to him}
hes high on meds rn 

mook: idk if tahst better or worse

tray: its funny
thats for sure

brenny: billie
do u have anything u want to say to mike

billieboy: no
WAIT
yes i do
i want to tell him that even tho this is al his fault i forgive him
i forgive gerard for stabbing me i know he meant well
and i forgve mikey for snooping around in my private shit

joosh: o thank fuck
i though there was gonna be a big ass fight and another stabbing
maybe a shooting
throw in a few murders 

mook: what kind of savages do u think we are joshua

joosh: the good kind

 

- franj added gayrard to obama means family

 

- franj added memekey to obama means family

 

billieboy: welcoem back my friends
i am high as a fucking kite

gayrard: i honestly dont know if thats a good or bad thing

billieboy: tbh the thing i dont like about this is the hospital stay
its annoying
i had a nighgmare abour president rushmore last night

tyjo: what

billieboy: i said i had a president about night rushmore
no that isnt what i said 
wait lemur figure thus out

tray: aw i love lemurs 

memekey: i expected this to be a lto more painful than it is 
oh well cant complain 

billieboy: yea i had a nighmare about president rushmore

brenny: wohos president rushmore 

billieboy: u know
the scary president with 4 heads 
medusa turned him into stone 

tray: im gonna ask mr tywin if that part of history is true

memekey: THAT POOR MAN HAS SUFFERED ENOUGH BC OF US LEAVE HIM ALONE

joosh: hostory lessons w/ billie
"president rushmore was a 4 headed president who got turned to stone by medusa"

memekey: i refuse to let this chat disrespect any more dead presidents
STOP TALKING ABOUT PRESIDENTS except harry truman

gayrard: mikey shut up u ass
billie when did president rushmore get elected

billieboy: when he wanted to gerard jfc dont disrespect president rushmore

franj: k well president rushmore is a better name than what ray said once

rayman: fraNK IT WAS A MISTAKE DONT 

franj: "president mountain man"

rayman: FRANK I TRISTED U WITH THAT SECREAT
U PROMISED TO TAKE IT TO UR GRAVY
GRAVE

tyjo: take it to the gravy 
gravy boat

billieboy: no thank u i get sea sick

tray: high billie is my fave billie
billie mor ehistory stories so i can irritate tywin tomoorow

memekey: how about we leve tywin alone

tray: hoW ABOUT MORE HISTORY WITH BILLIE

 

- mook renamed the group history with billie

 

tyjo: kay but i love how were all ignoring the great stabbing of '17

tray: thats what we do here in this chat
we ignore the bad decisions we make

mook: WAIT HOLD UP

 

- mook removed billieboy from history with billie

 

mook: u know hes hiigh asf rn
would it be bad if i took advantage of that and asked him some questions 

tray: no

memekey: yes what the fuck
but do it anyway

gayrard: michael u sinner

mook: rght here goes

 

- mook added billieboy to history with billie

 

mook: billie can i ask u somethjng

billieboy: if its about me liking yellow starburt then no
i dont need ur judgement 

brenny: gross

raymanbrendon be nice

mook: no its about ur homelife 

billieboy: yea sure go ahead

franj: im so intrigued but im also so terrified of what hes gonna do tomorrow when he discovers u lot took advantage of his high as  fuck state

dally: i bet hes like a secret gangster

tray: what if hes a serial killer

mook: guys stop omf
billie
why wont u let us in ur house

billieboy: oh i dont have a house
well i do
i just domt go there anymore

rayman: what why

memekey: to quote ray
what why

tray: why dont u go to ur house

billieboy: its not very safe 
im better off away from him

gayrard: away from who
qtop being vague and mysterious anD GIVE US ANSWERS 

franj: i think u pushd him too far 
hes kind of staring at his phone and mumbling shit over and over again

mook: that was exhilarating but i think thats enough for today
tomorrow we shall question him

billieboy: when did the conversation about president rushmore end

tray: at least he wont remember this 
we just delete the messages and everything will be fine

joosh: in this chat "fine" usually means "not fine at all but were going to pretend it is"

memekey: exactly
ur learning so quickly

joosh: i feel like i should get an award

tyjo: i feel like u shouldnt 

joosh: i feel like ur being rude :/

tyjo: i feel like u need to step off

dally: i fee like evryone should chill damn

gayrard: i feel like this cnversation has become irrelevant 

brenny: i feel like ur irrelevant 

franj: o snap
gerard are u burning up son
bc u should be

gayrard: suck my dick frank

franj: ok

Chapter Text

franj: help
dallons stuck in the baby swing @ the park 

dally: frank dont sell me out like this
but yea come quickly im stuck in the baby swing 

brenny: oh ill be coming alright ;)

dally: no u fuckng wont bc im stuck in a goddamn baby swing

tyjo: where in the rule book does it say u cant use a baby swing as a sex swing

joosh: shit he got a point 
TYLER GUESS WHAT WERE TRYING LATER

billieboy: KEEP UR SEXUAL ESCAPADES OUT OF THE CHAT PLEASE

franj: is anyone coming to help dallon 
his whinings rlly annoying 

rayman: me and gerard will save his ass 
i guess

gayrard: no 

brenny: wait lemme take a picture first
ad then in 100 years i can just whip it out and be like "yo u guys remember when dallon got stuck in a baby swing"

memekey: u guys have said baby swing 5 times in the last 2 minutes u know that right

tray: 6 tiims now

 

- mook renamed the group baby swing x6

 

joosh: i onky thought there was 1 baby swing at the park
i didnt know ther was 6

tyjo: 1 at the park
6 in the chat

gayrard: u cant have a baby swing in the chat

brenny: no but u can have a chat in a baby swing
ayyyyy
ba dum tsss

dally: brendon i am litERALLY STUCK IN A FUCKING BABY SWING AND ALL UR DOING IS MAKING DUMB JOKES 

gayrard: i know dallons literally stuck rn 
but
how do u pronounce tchaikovsky

billieboy: i have literally never sene that word before in my life
but my gess is "tchaikovsky" 

gayrard: wow
engagement 

billieboy: no thank u i am betrothed to michael 

gayrard: fuck off i meant enlightening 

memekey: no one told me were betrothed to each other billie 

billieboy: im telijngh u now 

tray: "telijngh"
isnt that a chinese emperor

rayman: no im the chinese emperor 

franj: but ray
ur not chinese 

mook: mikey back the fuck away from my man
and also gerard to abswer ur question about tchaikovsky 
i personally pronoucne it as chop suey but im like 67% sure thats wrong 

dally: nice to know that while im literally stuck in a baby swing u guys are having a nice discussion about chinese emporers and tachktchivsky

tray: what the fuck is a tachktchivsky

brenny: thats the noise i made when i dropped my phoen this morning

tyjo: guys...
what if......
tchaikovsky is the chinese emperor 

rayman: tyelr can u not read
im the chinese emperor 

 

- joosh changed tyjo's nickname to tyelr

 

- joosh changed rayman's nickname to tchaikovsky (chinese emperor)

 

tchaikovsky (chinese emperor): no 
NO
chnage it back joshua 

dally: I CAN SEE GERARD 
HES COME TO SAVE ME

gayrard: jfc frank when u said he was stuck in the baby swing i didnt expect him to be upside down in it
what even happened

dally: i woke up like this
ha just kidding
i fell 

billieboy: reminds me of the time i fell and landed in an alternate dimension where life was actually fun 

franj: how high are u

billieboy: like 5'3

gayrard: dallons free shows over go home 

tray: ik this is extrememly off topic but is it socially acceptbale to name triplets waluigi wal2igi and walui3 

tchaikovsky (chinese emperor): why u talking about baby names 
have u drunkenly impregnated someone again

tyelr: 'again'

tray: oh m Y GOD IT WAS ONE TIME AND IT TURNED OUT SHE WASNT EVEN PREHAT OKAY 

brenny: ive never herad of prehat
is that like
pre-hat
did she lie to u and say she was post-hat 
u poor Seoul i hope ur okay :(

memekey: "seoul"
brendon..
tre does not have south korea inside him :/

tray: yea jeez
what kind of hoe would i have to be to have all of south korea inside of me

billieboy: the kind of hoe u already are

tray: i was about to get mad
but then i realised ur right lmao oops

gayrard: tre have u realised that "lmao oops" is ur reaction to almost everything 

tchaikovsky (chinese emperor): wairt i have a question 
everythings strangely calm for once 
so does that mean everythings forgiven 

billieboy: well
u guys did invade my persoanl shit 
but i guess we can just move on now
as long as u fuckers dont start being nosy again 

mook: thats a relief 

memekey: everything worked out in the end
dallon was removed from the baby swing
tre doesnt have the whole of south korea inside him
billies doesnt hate us all

tchaikovsky (chinese emperor): i became the chinese emperor 

tyelr: no
tchaikovsky is the chinese emperor 

franj: wow
tchaikobsy is becomong a very popular source of discussion in this chat
akmost as popular as harry truman and tywin lannister

memekey: dont talk shit about my bfuooudop frank 
ill fuck u up boi 

tray: yea and dont talk shit about my daddy tywin 
bc ill fuck u up too boi

billieboy: the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse: harry truman, ttywin lannister and tchaikovsky 

joosh: but thats only 3

billieboy: did i fucking ask for ur opinion

mook: lemme fix
the 4 hosemen of the apocalypse: harry truman, tywin lannister, tchaikovsky and baby swing 

franj: the 4 furemen of the apocalypse

memekey: THE 4 FUREMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE 

 

- tchaikovsky (chinese emperor) renamed the group the 4 furemen of the apocalypse

Chapter Text

- Mike Dirnt added Mikey Way, Ray Toro, and Tré Cool to i cant keep removing billie from the main chat w/out him getting suspcioius and/or angry so i made a new one instead

 

Mike Dirnt: CHAT RULES
1 DONT TELL A N Y O N E ABOUT THIS OKAY WHAT HAPPENS IN THE CHAT STAYS IN THE CHAT
2 DO NOT ADD A N Y O N E ELSE I DONT TRUST THE OTHERS
3 I DONT ACTUALLY HAVE A RULE 3 BUT I ALREADY STARTED TYPING AND IM TOO LAZY TO BACKSPACE 

Ray Toro: wow
im honored u actyally trust me mike

Tré Cool: why do u trust me 

Mike Dirnt: i dont
but ur billies other best friend so u should be helpful 

Mikey Way: is this about billie again
i want no part in this all it does is create drama and also drama and even more drama

Ray Toro: i thought u liked drama tho

Mikey Way: shit u right
whar are we doing then

Tré Cool: we need code names if were gonna do this right 

Mike Dirnt: tre no

Tré Cool: the lack of capitalization rlly bothers me :/

Ray Toro: can we just get to the point pls
i dont want to miss the wild activites going on in the other chat
btw if u guys dont know tyler and josh stole the baby swing to use as a sex swing and got arrested 

Mike Dirnt: beautiful
anyway
isnt anyoen else kind of worried abot what billie said whem he was high on pain meds 

Ray Toro: i cant evenr remember what happened and u deleted the messages so i cant even check whaT BULLSHIT 

Tré Cool: yeah im worriedn aboyt the president rushmore conversation
that was weird even by my standards

Mike Dirnt: no dumbass
i mean when he said "im beter off away from him"
whos him what does he mean im so confused 

Mikey Way: fuck if i know

Mike Dirnt: u know mikeY
when i added u into this secret society of secrets and societies i expected u to be at least a bit helpful

 

- Tré Cool renamed the group secret society of secrets and societies

 

Tré Cool: guys i have a plan

Ray Toro: good bc i sure as hell dont

Tré Cool: okay so mike this kind of involves u getting arrested

Mike Dirnt: okay no wtf
what sort of plan starts with "mike u have to get arrested"
why not mikey or ray

Mikey Way: no i cant ruin my good reputation leabe me out of this

Tré Cool: mike u have to be out the way so billie deosnt go to ur house after school duh 

Mike Dirnt: cant i just get detention instead 

Tré Cool: yea that works too ig
so
mike gets his ass thrown in detention leaving billie to do whatever tf he does when hes not at mikes

Ray Toro: wait what if he goes to someone elses house

Tré Cool: fuck off stop pointing out major flaws in my poorly thought out plan

Ray Toro: lemme add gerard we can trust him 
i think

 

- Mikey Way added Gerard Way to secret society of secrets and societies

 

Mikey Way: DONT FUCKINH TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS CHAT GOT IT

Gerard Way: whoa
aggressive 
waut whats happening what are u guys doing now

Mike Dirnt: in short
were still nosy fuckers and we dont know whats good for us so were still trying to find shit out about billie

Gerard Way: okay 
so 
why wasnt i invited in the first place

Mike Dirnt: i didnt know if i coul d trust u 

Gerard Way: u cant trust me but u can trust mikey
mikey who told our parents i was smoking to turn their attenton away from him getting drunk when he was like 12

Mikey Way: that was a rough time
mistakes were made
shut the fuck up

Ray Toro: gerard 
where are u rn 

Gerard Way: on the roof bc i got kicked out of class
apparently its not acceptable to tell someone they have a face like a wrinkled cunt 

Tré Cool: happens to the best of us 

Ray Toro: i need u to text billie and find out what his plans are for today
mike u go get to work on getting detention

Gerard Way: um okay
but why is mike getting detention on purpose 

Ray Toro: dont ask questions just do what i say

Mike Dirnt: i couldnt think of what to do so i did that thing where i dont think about what im doing and i may or may not have set fire to all of my books in the hallway

Mikey Way: literally what the fuck is wrong with u
oh my god the fire alarms are going off
mike stop it

Mike Dirnt: oh shit its out of control 
oh damn this is bad why did i do this
okay im on fire
im literally on fire 

Tré Cool: i love how mieks first prorority is to tell the chat hes on fire instead of trying to get off fire

Mike Dirnt: o dear the teachers are talking about calling the cops
tre u might get ur wish for me to get arrested today

Gerard Way: u know the entire school is out in the hall windering who tf is trying to burn down the school right

Ray Toro: mike wtf i said get detention not become a convicted arsonist

Tré Cool: its too late for regrets the plan is in action lets go!!!!!11!!!

Ray Toro: this isnt how i wante dthinsg to go no

Mikey Way: i haVE A PLAN 
A PLAN TO SAVE THE CURRENT PLAN WHICH IS GOING TO SHIT BC MIKE IS A PYROMANIAC 
mike it involves u getting ur dick out in front of everyone 

Mike Dirnt: honestly i dont know which plan i hate more 
"mike u have to get arrested" or "mike u have to get ur dick out in front of the entire school"

Mikey Way: do u want to know what the fuck is going on wutth billie

Mike Dirnt: fine
what do i have to do

Mikey Way: u need to piss on the fire
hopefully a teacher will see and give u detention

Tré Cool: shit why does mike always get the fun jobs

Gerard Way: i can now officiallly say this is the weridest plan ive ever been part of

Mike Dirnt: okay
here i go
off to humiliate myself infront of hundreds of people 
wish me luck

Tré Cool: good luck

Ray Toro: u know like all of our squad is watching right
but damn that strut into the middle of the crowd was majestic as fuck

Gerard Way: this is incredibly awkward
but for some reason i cant look away

Tré Cool: oh my god the principal is fightng his way through the crowd 
mike run 

Mikey Way: tre hes a little too busy to run rn :/

Ray Toro: okay the crowd is slowly going away 
mikes being dragged away by the principal hopefully he gets detention 

Gerard Way: i asked billie what hes doing
he said "going to mikes if he doesnt have detention after whatever the fuck that was"

Mike Dirnt: tell him i definitely have detention
a whole fucking week of it 
the principal was gonna kick me out for good but he said i saved the school 
he wasnt too happy i was waving my dick about for everyone to see tho

Gerard Way: he said "i guess ill just go home then"

Tré Cool: YE S THE PLAN FUCKING WORKED 
so
now we follow him home from school 

Mikey Way: already done that tre jfc 

Tré Cool: i wasnt finished??? 
we follow him from school and if the shady looking dude in the truck turns up again we follow the truck and see where it goes

Ray Toro: yea no i dont wanna get murdered by a creepy truck dude

Tré Cool: no one said anything about murder
fucking hell u guys just assume my plans end in murder have a little faith in me for once 

Mikey Way: i like tres plan 
we should split up tho its the one thing i learned from scooby doo
tre and gerard will follow the truck man
me and ray will stay out of the way of a possible murder and keep everyone else busy 
mike will try to survive detention detention

Mike Dirnt: im a verteran detention survivor ill be fine

Tré Cool: stop saying theres gonna be a murder
theres only going to be a murder if u keep believing theres going to be a murder

Ray Toro: well i wholeheartedly believe thers going to be a murder so i guess were fucked goodbye its been a nice life 

Gerard Way: wait how do we follow a truck its too fast

Tré Cool: i watched billie jack enough cars to know how to do it well be fine
unless we get caught
in which case we will not be fine
but we should be fine

Mike Dirnt: when u said about jacking cars i read jacking off
and it seemed like u watched billie jack off
and i was like um excuse u hes my boyfend fuck off

Ray Toro: okay bell just went good luck gerard and tre dont get murdered or arrested

Gerard Way: good advice well try to follow it 
tre go steal a car ill sneakily follow billie

Mikey Way: and ill just take everyone home and keep them entertained with our parents alcohol stash 

Gerard Way: ooh good plan 
and its even better that im not there to get blamed for everything :)

Mikey Way: bitch u dont get blamed for everything 

Gerard Way: im the oldest child its tradition for me to get blamed for eveything 

Mike Dirnt: can we focus on the plan pls
ooh i feel like a battle commander rn 
u guys are my army 

Tré Cool: i have a sick ass car 
is rlly beautifl 
i wanna keep it but i know i cant 

Ray Toro: new book coming 2018: a forbidden love between tre and the car he just stole 

Tré Cool: it sounds truly amazing im sure the whole squad will buy a copy
apart from dallon hes illieterate 

Gerard Way: tre u just spelled illiterate wrong

Tré Cool: oh no its spreading 

Mikey Way: okay everyones fine with sitting around getting drunk this is good
no ones asking questions

Gerard Way: billies just walking rn
he walks uncomfortably fast for such a small legged person 
no sign of truck man yet

Tré Cool: i jut love this car man
its a '59 cadillac its fucking beautoful 

Mike Dirnt: oh my god tre is literally gonna nut over a car in a minute

Tré Cool: shut up mike dont judge me u pissed in the school hallway in front of like 2000 people

Mike Dirnt: thats my legacy now
the kid who pissed in the school hallway 

Gerard Way: ooh things are heating up
billies on the phone to someone
he sounds kinda angry
wait mike hes talking abt u 

Mike Dirnt: what HE SAYING 

Gerard Way: "mikes not my boyfriend"
"no im not going to his house"

Mike Dirnt: last time i checked i was his boyfirend
is he planning to break up with me

Gerard Way: no mike he was very clealy lying 
like it pained him to say that
hes keeping secrets from whoever hes talking to 

Ray Toro: i feel like me and mikey have the boring job
WAIT NO TYLER JUST SMASHED A BOTTLE ON BRENDONS LEG THIS ISNT BORING 

Mikey Way: gerard we probably wont have a house left by tonight just fyi

Gerard Way: well fuck
ooh billies walking again
hes off the phone

Tré Cool: this is like some rad ass detective movie right
gerards good cop and im bad cop

Ray Toro: that isnt what good cop bad cop means

Tré Cool: its whatever i want it to mean

Gerard Way: TRUCK MAN HAS BEEN SPOTTED
I REPATE
TRUCK MAN HAS BEEN SPOTTED
HES PULLED UP AND THERES SOME ANGRY YELLING GOING ON

Mike Dirnt: GET CLOSER AND LISTEN I NEED TO HEAR THE INFORMATION I CRAVE INFORMATION

Tré Cool: really?
i crave dick

Mike Dirnt: tre oh my god shut the fuck up this is a serious investigation 

Tré Cool: im sorry but aimlessly driving around gets boring 

Gerard Way: a brief summary 
truck dude- get in the fucking truck
billie- no fuck off
truck dude- *some slurred mumbling*

Ray Toro: sorry i msised all the action i was watching dallon almost throw up at the taste of whisky 

Gerard Way: tre theyre moving come get me
im legit just up the road from the sschool

Tré Cool: yea problem with taht
i kind of smahed the car into a tree 
and i had to run away quickly 

Mikey Way: TRE U HAD ONE GODDAMN JOB

Gerard Way: IS OKAY I WILL RUN AFTER THE TRUCK
actually no i wont bc i wasted time sending the message and it disappeared
fuck

Ray Toro: well this has been a colossal failure 
but at least we can all get drunk :)

Chapter Text

tchaikovsky (chinese emperor): someone change my name i dont wnana be the chinese emperor anymore

tray: k 1 sec

tchaikovsky (chinese emperor): no not u

tray: fuk u 
gonna do it anyway

 

- tray changed tchaikovsky (chinese emperor)'s nickname to ray is gay

 

ray is gay: i said no tre

tray: everyone says no tre
its about time someone said yes tre

joosh: anyway
moving on
i accidentally got to school like an hour ealry someone come entertain me

mook: yesterday was wild and i dont wanna go to school and face all the people who saw my dick 

tyelr: i will come save u josh

joosh: thank

gayrard: i wanna come too
bc mikey is being a masSIVE FUCKWIT 

memekey: hey gerard guess what
ur a shit

franj: why are yall so enthusiastic 
im not even proberly awake yet 

gayrard: ur never properly awake tho

franj: tru tru

mook: wheres billie 
billie
why arent u replying u rude bitch

memekey: weheres brallon 

joosh: 'weheres' 

 

- tray renamed the group weheres

 

memekey: this is cyberbullying 

 

- memekey left weheres

 

- gayrard added memekey to weheres

 

gayrard: donyt be a pussy mikey

tyelr: 1/2 of brallon is walking with me to go rescue josh 

brenny: which half
wait
i should know this
i am 1/2 of brallon 

franj actally brendon ur like 1/4 of brallon
dallons so tall he takes up 3/4 of brallon 

dally: im the half thats walkng with tyler
brendon wouldnt get his ass out of bed 

brenny: bc we dong have to be in school for another hOUR??? why would i get out o bed this earlu?

billieboy: poeple of the chat
i am not coming to school today

mook: why the fuck 
u lil shit dony leave me here 

billieboy: jfc sorry me being sick is an inconvenienience :/

tray: billie u lying shithead 

billieboy: trE WHAT THE FUCK IM NOT LYING 

franj: aggression 

tray: yes i am aggression frank
billie is LYING 
i can fucking see him from where im walking 

mook: wat 
whAT 

billieboy: fuck off no u cant see me im in bed at my house 

tray: ur right in front of me walking up the street
u sure as hell dont look sick 

joosh: o damn

ray is gay: billie
whats the hell is going on with u 

mook: ive been askng him that for Yemen
*years

 

- tyelr changed mook's nickname to yemen

 

yemen: no tyler

tray: billie u do realise i jcan still see u right

billieboy: thats not me im asleep shh be quiet goodnight 

yemen: billie fucking behave anc come to school

tray: oh damnnnn
what the fuck happened to ur face billie u loook like u got hit by a truck

joosh: shady truck dude?

memekey: shadY TRUCK DUDE?!?! 

brenny: SHADY TRUCK DUDE 

 

- dally renamed the group shady truck dude

 

billieboy: who the fuck is shady truck dude
and my face os like this bc i fell calm down jfc

tray: billie no offence but ur a fucking liar
no one can get injuris that bad from falling over

yemen: so u admit its u walking around then

billieboy: NO 
FUC K

 

- billieboy left shady truck dude

 

ray is gay: its starting again isbnt it
the drama and the fighting

memekey: y e s ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

tray: no for real guys
his face is fucked up

yemen: tre thats my fycjing boyfriend do u mind

franj: 'fycjing' is THAT a chinese emperor? 

memekey: CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT CHINESE EMPERORS 

gayrard: MIKEY U HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ANYPNE NOT  TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING AFTER THE HARRY TRUMAN THING

memekey: gerard pls
dont talk about harry truman like that he doesnt like it

franj: mikEY 
HARRY TRUMAN ISNT REAL
wiat
i fuckED UP

tyelr: "harry truman isnt real" - frank iero 2017 

ray is gay: how can harry truman be real if our eyes arent real

tray: no guyS FOR FUCKING REAL 
BILLIE LEGIT LOOKS LIKE HES BEEN IN A BAD FIGHT

gayrard: its billie
he probably has

tyelr: maybe he ws fighting shady truck dude

joosh: no ty;er

 

- franj changed tyelr's nickname to ty;er

 

yemen: wym tre
like
is it bad

tray: yes its fucking bad
i barely recognised him under all the bruises and cuts 

ray is gay: o damn
mike i think u need to talk to him 

 

- yemen added billieboy to shady truck dude

 

yemen: billie im not fuckong aruond 
u need to tell me what the fucks going on

billieboy: just forget it

mook: yea sure
ill just forget u getting beat up
ill just forget how fucking weird u act all the damn time
ill just forget what u said about u being better off away from him 

billieboy: what
when did i say that

ty;er: when he took advanateg of the fact that u were high on pain meds and started questioning u about ut homelife

yemen: TYLER FUCK OFF 
yes i asked u questions when u were high
but they werent like
private life qyestions
i think

billieboy: they were either about mt private life or they werent michael dont be a fucjing idiot 

franj: 'fucjing' i believe THAT is a chinese emperor 

gayrard: frank shut up i need to see the drama

yemen: idk fuck stop asking me shit

billieboy: noW U KNOW HOW I FUCKING FEEL U ASSHOLe
WERE THE QUESTIONS ABOUT MY PRIVATE LIFE OF NOT 

yemen: .......
whats impoetant here is that we have our health 

billieboy: u know what
i tried to not get mad at u when u were being a snooping bastard 
but i cant fucking deal with u anymore 
fuck off 

yemen: what

billieboy: i said fuck off mike 
now fuck off

yemen: yea i know
but 
do u mean literally or.../?

billieboy: i mean
off is the general direction in which i wish you would fuck

yemen: that
that doesnt help at all

billieboy: ill put it a little clearer for ur dumb as shit backwards fucking asshole mind
i dnt want u fucking talking to me or looking at me or being anywhere fucking near me okay
i dont want u texting or calling me i dont want u asking anyone else to text or call me 
i dont want u around anymore ur a fucking shitty boyfriend and ur a fucking shitty friend
why dont u go fuck tre again 
just try not to irritate him with ur 20000 questions a day

yemen: i dont wanna fuck tre i wanna fuck u 
im sorry for asking so many questions i just don think its fair that ur so goddamn fucked up and secretive all the time

tray: um wow harsh :/
first u dont wanna fuck me and then u say billies fucked up

yemen: he is 
shit
i didnt mean that ignore me
jesus fuckong christ this is a disaster 

brenny: mike u dun fucked up this time son

ray is gay: .....

billieboy: well mike maybe u should go find someone a little less fucked up then
its fine i get it
im too fucked up for u to handle
im too fucked up for me to handle as well

 

- billieboy left shady truck dude

 

dally: i didnt read 90% of those messages but is this the end of bike?

ty;er: yes dallon
bike is over
all that remains is joshler brallon and frerard 

memekey: which will be the next relationship to fall apart

joosh: probably joshler
considering tyLER ISNT HERE WHEN HE SAID HE WOULD COME RESCUE ME

ty;er: IM SORRY THERE WAS DRAMA I HAD TO STOP WALKING TO READ EVERYRHING 

joosh: CONSIDER URSELF SINGLE

ty;er: CONSIDER URSELF SINGLER 

joosh: CONSIDER URSELF SINGLERER

gayrard: consider urself at home
consider urself one of the family

franj: i love oliver twist 

Chapter Text

- joosh added billieboy to shady truck dude

 

- billieboy left shady truck dude

 

- joosh added billieboy to shady truck dude

 

- billieboy left shady truck dude

 

- joosh added billieboy to shady truck dude

 

- billieboy left shady truck dude

 

- joosh added billieboy to shady truck dude

 

- billieboy left shady truck dude

 

- joosh added billieboy to shady truck dude

 

- billieboy left shady truck dude

 

joosh: fucking stop omg

ty;er: josh what are u even trying to do here

joosh: im trying to help

franj: ur rlly not tho :/

joosh: watch and learn and also shut the fuck up
hell stay this time

franj: sure he will

joosh: hE WILL

franj: bet u $50 he wont

joosh: BET U $50 HE WILL

 

- joosh added billieboy to shady truck dude

 

joosh: BILLIE IM TRYING TO HELP PLS DONT LEAVE
AND ALSO I KIND OF BET FRANK $50 U WOULD STAY 

billieboy: sure ill stay
but mike isnt

 

- billieboy removed yemen from shady truck dude

 

tray: oh snap
mike looks extremely offended 

billieboy: hes gonna look extremely battered when i get hold of him

gayrard: did somehing else happen or is this still abou yesterday?

billieboy: u didnt hear the screamig this morning?

gayrard: yes but i scream eternally into the void every day so its pretty normal for me

 

- memekey renamed the group *screams eternally into the void*

 

dally: o H

billieboy: short version: mikes a bastard 
slightly longer version: mikes a bastard and he hit me
slightly longer longer version: mikes a bastard and he hit me and we got in a rlly big argument and now were both in troible 

tray: ah
the usual

ty;er: swiftly moving on bc i have no idea how to even begin helping to fix this 
brendon tried to push me down the stairs again but missed and somehow pushed himself 

ray is gay: only bredon could push himself down the stairs

brenny: i cannot feel my ass 

dally: u couldnt feell ur ass last night either ;)

joosh: BALLON NO STOP
*DALLON

memekey: balLON HA

 

- memekey changed dally's nickname to ballon

 

ballon: i may be intricate but at least i can spell my name

franj: okayi just talked to mike

billieboy: fuck you then

 

- billieboy removed franj from *screams eternally into the void*

 

gayrard: billie jesus fuck stop removing people

billieboy: do u wanna be next bitch 
stop chatting shit 

gayrard: fucking fight me

 

- gayrard added franj to *screams eternally into the void*

 

- gayrard added yemen to *screams eternally into the void*

 

gayrard: SORT THIS OUT RIGHT FUCKING NOW OR I WILL END BOTH UR ASSES

 

- billieboy changed yemen's nickname to mike is a bastard

 

mike is a bastard: fuck u
go get beat up again
pussy

franj: miKE QUIT BEING A FUCKING PILE OF WANK

mike is a bastard: DONT FUCKING GET INVOLVED IN OUR RELATIONSHIP U ASS

memekey: this is getting rather heated agaiN
guys pls
this is getting old just all of u apologize and stop being dicks to each other

billieboy: apologize for what exactly 
i didnt do anything 

mike is a bastard: neITHER DID I WTF

memekey: I DONT GIVE A SHIT WHAT U DID OR DIDNT DO EVERYONE IN THIS GODDAMN CHAT IS GOING TO COME CLEAN ABOUT ALL THE FUCKED UP SHIT THEYVE DONE AND EVERYONES GOING TO FORGIVE THEM AND THEN WERE GOING TO FORGIVE EACH OTHER AND GET OVER IT AND WER E GOING TO ACT N O R M A L 

ray is gay: jesus fucking christ mikey this isnt that bad 

brenny: im mildly terrified of this can i not take part in this 

joosh: (ಠ ͜ʖಠ)

brenny: what the fuck does that mean 

joosh: i know why ur terrified brendon
know what u did

mike is a bastard: josh stop being weird 
also mikey ur idea sounds gr8 but no thanks 

tray: sharing is good in friendships 
so ill go first
i once ate a bit of mould on some cheese and i think that accounts for like 98% of my actions so dont blame me blame the mould 

franj: "dont blame me blame the mould" - tre cool 2017

memekey: tre.... that isnt what i meant
i meant we talk about how weve fucked over our friends in the past

gayrard: u mean like the time u told the principal it was ray who kept sticking gum to the desks when it was actually u

memekey: geGARD 

ray is gay: MICHAEL JAMES WAY 
I GOT IN SO MUCH SHIT FOR THAT AND IT WASNT EVEN FUCKING ME

memekey: i know lol oops

 

- billieboy changed gayrard's nickname to gegard

 

ballon: fuck off i just read that as gregory 

mike is a bastard: illiterate fuck

gegard: mike why are u so damn hostile today who hurt u 

mike is a bastard: bilLIE FUCKING HURT ME
HE LIES ABOUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING AND STILL EXPECTS ME TO TRUST HIM
FOR ALL I KNOW HE COULD BE FUCKING SOMEONE BEHIND MY BACK

billieboy: wow so thats what u think of me

tray: mike u rlly gotta think befoe u type boi

joosh: speaking of fucking behind peopls backs.....
brendon (ಠ ͜ʖಠ)(ಠ ͜ʖಠ)(ಠ ͜ʖಠ)(ಠ ͜ʖಠ)(ಠ ͜ʖಠ)

brenny: josh shut up

franj: brendon what ahve u been up to son

ballon: brendon u better fucking not have

brenny: HEY GERARD
JOSH WAS THE ONE WHO STOLE UR MONEY THAT ONE TIME
AND HE LET U THINK IT WAS MIKEY 

gegard: JOSH WHAT THE FUCK 

joosh: BRENDON WHY AR E U SUCH A MEAN SHIT
I WSNT ACTUALLU GONNA TELL THEM FUCK 
BUT FUCK U NOW I WILL

brenny: nO I DIDNT DO ANYTHING STOP IT JOSH STOP IT 

 

- brenny removed joosh from *screams eternally into the void*

 

tray: wow mikey ur plan is so effective 
many claps for u 
amazing
10/10 for effort 

memekey: ur gonna have a 10/10 shoved up ur ass in a minute if u keep being a sarcastic little shit

tray: yes ty i know my ass is a 10/10

billieboy: mike would know

ray is gay: cold as ICE 

brenny: savage

 

- ty;er added joosh to *screams eternally into the void*

 

- brenny left *screams eternally into the void*

 

tray: what the fuck did brendon even do 
pls tell me he didnt actually fuck someoen else

joosh: i wasnt gonna say anything but then he fucking sold me out about gerards mine

gegard: my what now

franj: gerard the miner 

ray is gay: i read that as 'gerard the mineral' and just though of the crave that mineral meme

billieboy: does that mean gerards the goat

mike is a bastard: no its means franks the goat and gerards the mineral
bc frank craves gerard 

billieboy: did i fucking ask u twat boy

memekey: OHG MY UFCKIDJNBB GUDIOLPKJE"XKBH V"FIYTD*^T("&
I LITERALLY JUST FUCKINH HEAD BUTTED MY PHONE BC OF U TWo

tray: im sorry but i just peed a little
"did i fucking ask u twat boy" 
thats the single greastet sentence in all of history

 

- ty;er renamed the group did i fucking ask u twat boy

 

joosh: minerals and goats and twat boys aside...
dallon im sorry to tell u this but ur boyfriend is a shitty person 

ballon: and suddenly i want to die 
and i dont even know what he fuckng did yet

joosh: well do u want to know?? or nah??

ballon: well this chat cant get any worse can it

joosh: wellllll
way back when gerard stabbed billie
i was out buying cereal at 3am 

ray is gay: waiut hold up
why the hell were u out buying ceral at 3am

joosh: bc i wanted cereal? 
damn cant a boy get some cereal around here jesus fuck
anyway
i saw brendon when i was walking home and he kinda looked a lil upset

ballon: ah yes i remember that nght we got in a fight bc i wanted to go see if billie was okay and brnedon told me not to bc i would make thinsg worse

mike is a bastard: oh look another thing the gremlin has fucked up

billieboy: im literally going to shoot u later u better fucking pray

mike is a bastard: doesnt change the fact that u fuckng ruin eVERYTHING 

 

- billieboy left did i fucking ask u twat boy

 

tray: mike ur literally being a fucking asshole now 

ballon: contine josh

joosh: ye brndon told me u guys got in a figth
and he also told me something else that he made me promise to not tell anyone else

ray is gay: this is.... awkward 

joosh: fuck i dont wanna be the one telling u this but u gotta right to know
basically brendon has this friend his names ryan 
he fucked him that night and then he fucked him again like 4 more times

ty;er: shit
dallon im sorry bro

gegard: tyelr dont say bro its weird

ballon: well thanks for telling me i guess
im gonna go fucking hang myself or someshit

 

- ballon left did i fucking ask u twat boy

 

joosh: it gets worse tho
ryan thinks hes with brendon in a relationshop 

franj: relationshop
the one and only place to buy relationships
come on down were having a half price sale 

memekey: i need to go there

gegard: why
pete wentz is still single i hear

memekey: i doNT FUCKING LIKE PETE GERARD LITERALLY GO AND FUCK A MOOSE

 

- memekey left did i fucking ask u twat boy

 

tray: wait i know ryan
lemme add him

 

- tray added Ryan Ross to did i fucking ask u twat boy

 

joosh: nO TRE WHAT THE FUCK HES GONNA SEE THE MESSAGES 
HE DOESNT KNOW ABOUT BRENDON AND DALLON 

tray: well hes about to

ty;er: wait i know ryan too
ryan wassup bro

gegard: tyler stop fucking saying bro

Ryan Ross: hey wassup tyler bro 

gegard: i already dont like u ryan 

Ryan Ross: woops dont care

ray is gay: ryab allow me to apologize on behalf of these fuckhats
half teh squad isnt even here theyre all pissed at each other 

Ryan Ross: wait whats that message about brendon and dallon
wym 
BRENDONS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH DALLON FUCKING WEEKES?
w H A T t h e h e L L

ty;er: and already ur part of the squad :)
(to be part of this squad u have to be involvd in some form of drama wow look at u go ur evovling so fast)

mike is a bastard: hes not evolving tyler hes not going to grow fucking wings

tray: maybe he will maybe he wont who knows not me 

ray is gay: spooky

Ryan Ross: I JUST GOT ADDED INTO THIS HELLHOLE OF A CHAT AND I ALREADY FOUND OUT BRENDON IS A DIRTY CHEATING WHORE

gegard: thats what this chat does to u
it destorys ur happiness and leaves u dead inside
trust me i am science man

Chapter Text

- ty;er added memekey to did i fucking ask u twat boy

 

- ty;er added billieboy to did i fucking ask u twat boy

 

ty;er: YO
SHIT IS GOING DOWN SO MUCH ITS GONNA TURN UP IN CHINA 

ray is gay: using that phrase from now on

ty;er: yall saw the billie/mike/tre clusterfuck
now get ready for the brendon/dallon/ryan clusterfuck 

billieboy: thanks tyler but im sitting in class with them rn i saw it all
i think this might actually be a little worse than the billie/mike/tre clusterfuck 

memekey: what happened

ty;er: brendon couldt be bothered to write his whole name on his paper so he just wrote bren
and the everyone started callig him it as a joke
and dlalon was like "hey i know a better name for him why dont we call him diRTY FILTHY CHEATING SHITTY FUCKING SCUMBAG WHORE"
and then he slammed his head into the desk 

joosh: wild

ty;er: and then ryan also slammed his head into the desk
so now dallon and ryan are detention buddies and brendon got sent home bc of a percussion 

franj: god yea dont u just hate it when u get sent home from school bc of the drums

ty;er: frank u fuckstick
i meant concubine
*concussion  

billieboy: is that like a porcupine 

ray is gay: no billie a concubine is not a porcupine 

tray: whos talking abour pork pies 

gegard: ive never rlly liked pork pies 
fedoras are cooler 

Ryan Ross: actually i thought someoen said somethihg about a combine harvester 
u know
the farmy stuff

joosh: ryans a farm boy ha

 

- joosh changed Ryan Ross's nickname to farm boy

 

farm boy: im rlly part of the squad now 
i get a rad nickname like the rest of u guys :)

tray: ryans not a farm boy
hes a shronk 

farm boy: wa whaj 

mike is a bastard: i just wheezed so loud omg
"wa whaj" - ryan 2017

franj: trE SHUT THE SHIT UP ABOUT SHRONK I SWEAR TO GOD

farm boy: whATS A SHRINK
SHRONK

gegard: SHRINK SHRONK 

 

- ray is gay renamed the group SHRINK SHRONK

 

memekey: shronk is tres creation
he drew mike wazowski with shreks face and named it shronk and aubmitted it to an art comp
he didnt win but shronk lives on in all of us

farm boy: rename me shronk boy pls

 

- gegard changed farm boy's nickname to shronk boy

 

joosh: is anyone gonna add brallon back
i feel like we need brallon back

shronk boy: brallon doesnt exist anympre
and neither does ryden
hey maybe rylon wil be the nex thing 

ray is gay: YES
LETS WORK ON A SOLUTION RYAN GOOD JOB 
brendon and dallon isnst working and neitehr is ryan and brendon so how about ryan and dallon
billie and mike isng working so lets just put mike w/ tre again
billie can go with gerard again
wait shit whwre does tha leave frank and gerard

gegard: how about me and frank stay together
and hw about billie and mike sort their shit out 
honesly brendons an ass he can get fucked 
ryan and dallon? nice ;)

ty;er: joshler is the one relationship that hasnt had drama

joosh: what about when i told u i was out of lucky charms but i actually wasnt out of lucky charms and u went to get more lucky charms and came back and saw me eating the lucky charms i already had so u threw the new lucky charms at me and i spilled my other lucky charms and we got in a figh over lucky charms

mike is a bastard: josh if u say lucky charms one more time im going to deport u 

joosh: where to

mike is a bastard: ur mothers uterus 

shronk boy: can i also get deported to joshs uterus 
wait no
joshs MOMS uterus 

ty;er: damn josh u never told me u had a uterus 

joosh: i didnt know i ddid :/
but no ryan u cant get deported to my moms udders 
utERUS NO 

memekey: josh i didnt know ur mom had udders 

mike is a bastard: scandalous 

tray: im adding dallon back
hes still our fren right

 

- tray added ballon to SHRINK SHRONK

 

ballon: BRENDON DO U WANT TO KEEP UR HEAD ON UR NECK
BC ADDING ME TO THIS IS A GOOD WAY TO LOSE IT
oh lmao nvm it wasnt even bendon who added me

ray is gay: did yall know u can chage the seettngs here so people cant leave

joosh: THATS SOME VERY NICE INFORMATINS THANSK RAY
wait why am i in caps 
sorry that came off rlly aggressive :/

memekey: LET THE DRAMA CONSUME U HAHAHA

 

- memekey added brenny to SHRINK SHRONK

 

- memekey changed the group settings

 

ballon: fuCK OFF MIKEY
GERARD CONTROL UR BROTHEL 

franj: hey u never told me u own a brothel 

gegard: im croatias number 1 brothel owner frank didnt u hear

brenny: i see u guys have been keeping busy

shronk boy: im gonna be keeping busy tomorrow as well
im gonna be beATING UR ASS

ballon: no i am

shronk boy: me first

ballon: no ryan u a;ready fucking stole him at least let me kill him first

shronk boy: i didnT STEAL HIM DALLON WHAT THE FUCK
HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT U

brenny: so this is all my fault?

mike is a bastard: yes brendon what the fuck
of course its ur fault
u dont fucking cheat on people its not nice

billieboy: says the guy who fucked his boyfriends best friend..

tray: oh dear

franj: um guys
mikeys just kind of sat here with a really crazed look in his eyes
he just said "yes.. let it take over.... let the drama conSUME US ALL"
gerad is he okay

gegard: no 

mike is a bastard: BILLIE 

billieboy: MIKE

joosh: FRANK

franj: RAY

ray is gay: RYAN

shronk boy: TYLER

ty;er: DALLON

ballon: GERARD

gegard: MIKEY

memekey: TRE

tray: BRENDON

brenny: JOSH

mike is a bastard: no but seriously
BILLIE DO U WANT TO DIE

billieboy: yes actually 

mike is a bastard: o H okaY
jesus 

gegard: blaspoomy is a sin 

tray: blaspoomy 

joosh: bloosphoomy is a sOOn 
sooner go to HOOL

ballon: brendon belongs in hell

shronk boy: brendon fucking comes from hell 

brenny: thanks guys insult me harder i love it ;)

shronk boy: okay 
ur a vile piece of shit and tomorrow me and dallon TOGETHER are going to beat ur ass

brenny: kinky ;)))))

ballon: U LITTLE FUCKING SHIT ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE KINKY

shronk boy: wait can we still remove people
I WANT TO REMOVE BRENDON

ballon: MIKEY WHAT SORCERY DID U DO NONE OF US CAN REMOVE ANYONE 
I CANT EVEN CHANGE THE SETTIN BACK 
M I K E Y

memekey: guess ur gonna have to suffer woops

gegard: no mikey what the hell did u even do
we cant leave we cant remove anyone we cant add anyone
we cant even fucking mute it mikey this is gonna be the death of at least 6 of us pls sotp

 

- franj renamed the group pls sotp

 

franj: hey at least we can still changeg thegroup name 

ballon: what about nicknames

 

- shronk boy changed brenny's nickname to SHIT FIT

 

shronk boy: yea nicknames still work 

ballon: shit fit
nice ryan nice 

gegard: so dallon
aside from the whole accidnetally having the same boyfriend thing 
are u and ryan like bffs now

ballon: no were bfuaasbu
"best friends united against actual satan brendon urie"

ty;er: can i join the uniion
he pished me down the stairs once

SHIT FIT: hey 
that means i get to join the union too
i pushed myself down the stairs as well remember 

shronk boy: no get rekt fuckass

ray is gay: u cannot join a union united againts urself brendon 

billieboy: hey
remamber that time mike disapepared for almsot a week 
and there was a search party
and mike accidentally joined the searcg party looking for himself
thats what ths rreminds me of

mike is a bastard: im tearing up
billie just spoke about me without cursing or insilting me

billieboy: shut the fuck up andstop being an ass michael 

mike is a bastard: and welcome back folks to the billie being a massive whiny bitch show
i am ur host mike dirnt and todays guest is the whiny bitch himself 
so tell me billie when did u start being a whiny bitch

billieboy: oh wow lemme think
when u started being a comlete bastard 

memekey: i would watch THE SHIT out of this

Chapter Text

ray is gay: there hasnt been any drama for almost a week is everyoe still alive and well

mike is a bastard: wym ray where tf have u been
brendon lost 2 teeth and possibly an eye to ryan and dallon a few hours ago

SHIT FIT: my eye is still in its socket actually

billieboy: mike should be the one losing an eye 

gegard: yea i agree w/ that actually

mike is a bastard: ?????????? tf did i do now

billieboy: maYBE TELLING EVERYOEN I GAVE U AN STD 

ty;er: mike thats fucked up :/

mike is a bastard: WELL BILLIE FUCKING TOLD THE PRINCIPAL I WAS JACKING OFF IN THE BATHROOM 
AND THEN HE WAS ALL LIKE "firdt u piss in the hallway now u jack off in a toilet why cant u keep ur dick in ur pants"

ty;er: billie thats fucked up :/
this is all fucked up ://///

ballon: i wish brendon did lose an eye

SHIT FIT: i wish u lost ur dick but whatev
i also wish ryan lost his dick too

shronk boy: oi brendon fite me m8 
1v1 me on club penguin 

SHIT FIT: i cannot
i have been banned 

gegard: guys
pls
let the insanity end now 

memekey: for ocne i agree with egg 

gegard: ehat the fuck why are u claling me egg 

memekey: i tried to type gee but i ended up typing geg bc of ur nickname and it changed to egg soz lol :/

 

- tray renamed the group behold: The Egg™️

 

shronk boy: the capitalism is making me uncomfortable 

joosh: same ryan same 

shronk boy: and it appears i cant spell
*capitalization 

mike is a bastard: wow
u and dallon are literally made for each other

SHIT FIT: um 
that hurts 

mike is a bastard: well brendon if u wanted dallon u shouldnt have got with ryan and if u wanted ryan u shouldnt have got with dallon its simple
dont be a whiny brat when the brendon/dallon/ryan clusterfuck is entirely ur fault u cheating whore 

billieboy: says the one who fucked tre....

mike is a bastard: biLLIE SHUT UR ASSHOLE MOUTH

SHIT FIT: hey mike 
fucking fight me bitch 

mike is a bastard: hey brendon
i fuCKING WILL BITCH 

ray is gay: oh my god
mike just walked out of class
brendon hes comng for u

shronk boy: brnedon walked out too
imma go watch 
i love seeing brendon get his ass kicked

billieboy: mike cant fight for shit tho lmao

ballon: its okay
ill back mike up in his battle agenst actual satan 

billieboy: then im backing brendon so we can fuck mike up 

shronk boy: well im backing mike bc brendon isnt getting out of this alive 

memekey: is this exciting anyone else

ty;er: wait a sec
so mikes fighting brendon
but now ryan and dallon are also fighting brendon
and billies also fighting mike 

tray: mike dallon and ryan vs brendon and billie 
who survives
tune in next week for The Battle™️

memekey: tre why do u keep ™️ing things 

tray: Who Knows™️

franj: hi wassup u gays 
whOA I MISSED A LOT

gegard: WE MUST PICK SIDES

ty;er: josh
if we end up on dfferent sides of the war
promuse me u will do ur duty and kill me if u have to

joosh: i promise tyler
and promise me u will also do ur duty and kill me if we cross paths 

ty;er: i promise 

franj: waht excatly is happening 

gegard: NO TIME FOR THAT
PICK A TEAM
TEAM BRENDON OR TEAM MIKE

franj: *sweats nervously* 
well theyre both assholes at the moment so i choose TEAM FRANK
aka TEAM I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON AND I WANT NO PART OF IT

ray is gay: joining franks team

gegard: just to even out the teams
im joing teame brendon 

ballon: gerard
u were our friend  
how could u

gegard: but that doesnt change teh fact that brebdob is a shit

SHIT FIT: breBDOB 
GERARD WHY

 

- franj changed SHIT FIT's nickname to brebdob

 

shronk boy: brebdob the shit fit 

tray: Brebdob The Shit Fit™️

memekey: tre pls stop

ballon: oH SHIT 
MIKE JUST FULL ON PUNCHED BRNEDON
SO FUCKING HARD HE FEL OVER 
HA GET REKT ASSWEED

billieboy: BRNEDON KILL MIKE AND ILL GIVE U like $3 sorry im broke lmao 

tray: i need to see this

gegard: GET HERE NOW ALL OF U 
BILLIE JUMPED ON MIKE AND SLAMMED HIS HEAD INTP A WALL
NOW MIKE KICKED BILLIE
AHWTAAA EDIJHB
RYAN CAME OUTR OF NOWHERE AND ANIHILATED BRENDON H O L Y S H I T
OH DNCY FCUKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK 
BRENDON KNOCKED MIKES TOOTH OUT 
HA FUCKING HA BILLIE HIT RYAN 
DALLONS HERE AND HES GOT A BASEBALL BAT HOL Y FCUJKK

memekey: gerard
calm down 
jfc 

franj: me and ray are just kind of watching 

joosh: that looks freakishly violent 
and freakishly painful
yea imma just sit with frank

ty;er: mayeb we wont hav to kill each other in the war
peace wins
well not for the rest of them

tray: geRARD NO WHAT ARE U DOING

memekey: WHATS EH DOING

tray: idk mikey thats why i just asked him

franj: GERARD IS CHOKING NIKE NO OMG

tray: nike
u mean like the company 

franj: yes tre
gerard is choking an entire company 
no u ass hes choking mike

tray: but u said nike

 

- tray changed mike is a bastard's nickname to nike

 

franj: k welll hes not choking mike anymore bc dallon pushed him over
tyler josh mikey one of u take over commentary by beloved needs me

memekey: franks gonna die out there

joosh: idk
hes not that much smalelr than billie and billies doing okay

tray: yea if okay means being violently thrown around by everyone
im bored and also this fighting is making me wanna fight so imma go save billie

memekey: oh my god everyoes joinig in i cant fight no i dont wanna do this someoen save me

ty;er: half the schools just watching 
while everyones distracted i can go steal all the pencil sharpeners 

ray is gay: may i ask why

ty;er: u may not

memekey: wait wheres everyoen going
the fights moving

ray is gay: and there are teachers coming so im just gonna pretend i hav no part in this

memekey: so ur gonna let ur friends get in shit while u sit here and do nothing
same good plan ray good plan

joosh: the fight stopped u guys
the principal tywin and mr turner all turned up
and franks yellingat mr truner

gegard: frank always yells at mr turner iys fine
what isnt fine is my face hurts 

ty;er: i have 19 pencil sharpernes in my pocket but is everyoen alive

nike: just aboyt
shit brendon ur fucking EVIL

brebdob: they dont call me actual  satan for nohing michael
or shluld i say nichael 

ray is gay: why not nigel

billieboy: oh my god u guys
the principal just quit his job bc of us

joosh: well at leaast 1 good thing came out of The War™️

tray: the principal is my daddy dont be so heartless :(

shronk boy: trE NO

ballon: RYANS LEARNT THE MOTTO OF THE CHAT PRAISE THE HEATHENS 

franj; did u mean to say heavens then

ballon: no 

Chapter Text

ballon: me and ryan are in over our heads send help

brebdob: ha fucker get rekt 

memekey: its first period what the fuck did u guys do

shronk boy: u know how the principal quit and now we have a new principal and he got rid of loads of the old teachers and employed new ones
well one of the new ones saw dallon on his phone and she asked him what he was doing and he didnt reply for ages
so i said he doesnt speak english 
and i also said im his translator 
and now i dont know how to fix this 

ray is gay: thats literally teh worst thing u coudl have said ryan
u fit right in here well done

shronk boy: no ray not well done
dallon keeps whispering to me and pretending to speak italian and i have to make up random shit and tell the teacher what hes saying

ballon: ryan u complicated things a bit too much tho
u didnt have to tell her my entire family was killed in an explosion and im the only survivng member of a famous crime family 
u also didnt have to tell her i was held hostage by corrupt cops and tortured for information

shronk boy: go big or go home

ballon: id like to go home actually this is getting awkwarder and awkwarder

tray: billie see this is what ur missing by getting beat up again

nike: he got beat upa agin??
i dont care im just asking

billieboy: i didnt get beat up again tre jfc i didnt even get beat up the first time
i fell and i fell again
leave me alone stop snooping shut up

shronk boy: u gotta admit
it was a fun story 

ballon: ryan 
u told her my name is dallonini tortellini 
the ENTIRE CLASS ALMOST CHOKED TO DEATH

gegard: DALLONINI TORTELLINI I CANNOT VREATHE 
IM FUCKING WHEEZING JESUS SHIT HOLY HELL FUCK ME UP THE ASS I CANT BREATEH

franj: DALLONINI TORTELLINI BIKINI ZUCCHINI MARTINI DRATINI 

memekey: is one o f thos a pokemkon  

joosh: yes
zucchini  

ty;er: i turn my phone off for a minute and i miss dallon becoming an italian mob boss and a new pokemon called a zucchini 

ray is gay: very authentic sounding good job ryan 10/10

shronk boy: thank u

nike: isnt tortellini pasta 

brebdob: hA DALLON PASTA 

ballon: breD DO U WANT ME TO WHACK U 

ty;er: he even talks like a mob boss wow 

billieboy: is no one gonna talj about 'bred'

 

- tray changed brebdob's nickname to bred

 

bred: #blessed

shronk boy: ha fuck the teacher brought in an actual real italian kid 
shes asking me to ask him if he speaks any english
what do i do help me og my god

franj: ryan chill son
all u gotta say is "non ti darò mai, non ti lascerò mai, non correrò mai e ti sconfinerò"
trust me i have italian gangser friends 

ballon: frank what the hell did u make him say
the italin kid is fuckng losing his shit
hes laughing so hard he fell over

ray is gay: frank are u serious

franj: come on ray its funny
the italin kid even thinsg so

joosh: i just translated it
ryan frank literally made u say the lyrics to never gonna give u up

shronk boy: i need to apologise immediately holy shit
anyone that isnt frank how do u say sorry

billieboy: its "vaffanculo" 

ballon: biLLIE THE ITALIAN KID JUST PUCNHED RYAN 

shronk boy: YES BILLIE THE ITALIAN KID JUST PUNCHED ME

nike: good on bj good one

gegard: mike are u okay today
ur being freakishly nice 

joosh: VAFFANCULO MEANS FUCK OFF 

shronk boy: OH MY GOD NO 
oh i just got kicked out

ballon: no come back
ur my translator 
how am i supposed to communicate 
goddamn language barriers 

ray is gay: dallon u speak english 

ballon: que?

bred: im gonna go sit on the roof 
anyone wanna join me

shronk boy: hahaHA no

memekey: ive had it
this shit has to stop
ALL OF US GO TO THE ROOF NOW

nike: um
no

billieboy: i dont like this
mikeys gonna make us all jump or someshit 

memekey: what the fuck no im not
 i was gonna make everyone be friends again

ty;er: josh im sorry i broke ur fave spoon

joosh: it okay tyler

ray is gay: i think mikey meant brendon dallon and ryan and billie and mike 

gegard: no one go to trhe roof someone might fall off and land in the principals arms again
cough TRE cough

tray: hey at least i had fun
dman 
i can never fall in the principals arms again :(

nike: its okay tre well find u a new principal 

tray: thank u :(

gegard: I HAVE A PLAN 
KIND OF
billie and mike need to stop pretending they hate each other bc its painfully obvious how sad they are without each other
brendon im not sure what u need to do just dont cheat on people okay
ryan and dallon... just fight to the death over who gets brendon

shronk boy: actually y i thogt about that
dallon u should be with brendon
u 2 were better than me and brendon were 

ballon: oh my god im nearly crying ryan why are u doing this

bred: i..... do not know how to react to this

gegard: okay well that worked out well

franj: gerard the saviour 

nike: ill make peace with billie IF he tells me what the hells going on

billieboy: hA no bye 
fuck shit ass i cant even leave mikey why are u like this 

memekey: ill change teh settinsg back if u all stop being mean and angry all the time

nike: mean and angry is part of billies personality tho...

billieboy: shit u right :/

memekey: okay 
so
brendon and dallon work on ur shit
billie and mike work on ur shit
ryan im sorry about brendon but theres plenty of fish in the sea

shronk boy: i dont like fish 

nike: billie just answer one question 
why wont u tell me anything about ur personal life

billieboy: trust me u dont wnana know about it
its pretty fucked up thats all im saying 

nike: okay well
thats more than u ever said before so 

memekey: see it wasnt that hard 

 

- memekey changed the group settings

 

ty;er: h my gad thats a good sentence 
A Good Sentence™

ray is gay: billie wait a sec

fucked up how exactly???????????

billieboy: damn did this turn into 20 qustions 

tray: i guess now would be a good time to ask who shady truck dude is
u know
the shady dude in the truck who shouts a lot 

billieboy: goTTA BLAST 

 

- billieboy left behold: The Egg™️

 

- bred renamed the group the one that got away

Chapter Text

- gegard changed memekey's nickname to extra virgin olive oil

 

nike: i have some questions

extra virgin olive oil: geRARD IM NOT A VIGRIN 

gegard: yes u are ur like 12 

extra virgin olive oil: IVE DONE THE SEX MANY TIMES THANK U
anyway
im not talking about this to my brorher in the chat 

tray: how escatly did this conversation get started 

franj: he walked in on me and gerard
and freaked out like the virgin he is

extra virgin olive oil: i didnt freak out frnak dont spread LIE >:(

gegard: mikey 
u screamed and covered ur eyes and then fel over trying to get out of the room
id call that freaking out

extra virgin olive oil: gerard consider this
i didnt want to see my brother getting fucked in the ass by my friend 
okay

shronk boy: gerards a bottom confirmed 

gegard: miKEY FUCK 
U DONT HAVE TO GO INTO RETAIL 

bred: god yea mikey calm down theres no need to get a job in retail just bc u saw ur brother getting pounded in the ass :/

franj: can we pls stop talking aboiut gerard getting pounded in the ass now

gegard: the point of this is
MIKEYS TOTALLY A VIRGIN

extra virgin olive oil: IM TOTALLY FUCKING NOT 

ray is gay: name one person u did the do with 

extra virgin olive oil: pete wentz 

ballon: brenDON OWES ME $32.71 HA BITCH GET REKT

bred: fuCK OFF 
MIKEY COULDNT U KEEP IT IN UR PANTS UNTIL JUNIOR YEAR

 

- nike added billieboy to the one that got away

 

nike: billie u owe me whatever the hell was in ur pockets the day we made this bet 

extra virgin olive oil: what the fuck
u guys bet actual money on me having sex with someone

billieboy: well not us
i bet mike u wouldnt fuck anyone until at least next year 
but he bet me the contents of my pockets that u already fucked someone

tray: and then we agreed that one of u buys me taco bell if he fucked pete wentz 

extra virgin olive oil: i dont like u guys anymore ur not my friends

 

- extra virgin olive oil left the one that got away

 

joosh: well we missed a lot 
whats been happening here 

bred: i owe dallon $32.71 billie owes mike the stuff in his pockets and either billie or mike owes tre taco bell
and mikey is no longer our friend

ballon: i may have lost a friend today but i also gained $30

tray: mike im comng into ur class to pickpocket u 
im gonna go buy me some taco bell

ty;er: tre whats ur obsession with taco bell

tray: it gives me diarrhoea and then i have an excuse to stay home from school 

billieboy: tre cool ladies and gentlemen 

shronk boy: it rlly says something bout the american education system when a kid would rather have dirohearorearea than go to school

ray is gay: that would have been an inspiring quote if u spelled diarrhoea right 

ballon: he did spell iyt right???

ty;er: sure dallon

joosh: idk what kinda tv show u been watching tyler but the quote is "sure jan" 

billieboy: spreaking of jam
im so hungry rn someone bring me jam

tray: come to taco bell with me
mikes paying

nike: is he

bred: aYY
MIKES BUYING US ALL TACO BELL
OH FUCKING HELL

shronk boy: u okay brendon 

bred: WELL IM USING A SCHOOL COMPUTER BC I GOT MY PHONE TAKEN AWAY
AND I GOT SO EXCITED WHEN TRE MENTIONED TACO BELL THAT I BROKE THE KEYBOARD A LITTLE

gegard: brendon why are u shouting

bred: BECAYSE ITS THE CAPS LOCK KEY THAT BROKE
I SOUND SO NAGRY IM SO SORRY

ray is gay: nagry 
brendon is nagry

bred: RAT PLS DONT MAKE FUN OF ME IM IN A VERY STRESSFUL SITUATION 

ray is gay: did u just fucking call me rat 

 

- nike changed ray is gay's nickname to rat

 

rat: oh MY GOD miCHAel

franj: ha rat man rat man rat man

billieboy: i just ran away from tywin 
he said i wasnt allowed to just walk off and get taco bell in the middle of class

rat: that mans going to have a heartattack one day and its gonna be our fault 

tray: well lets go to taco bell then 
I NEED MY WEEKLY DOSE OF DIARRHOEA 

billieboy: im coMING JESUS 

nike: not without me ur not 
jk i dont wanna come to taco bell its gross 

 

- gegard added extra virgin olive oil to the one that got away

 

gegard: mikey theyre going to taco bell to celebrate u losing ur virginity to pete wentz 

ty;er: this episode of group chat: the gang celebrates mikey losing his virginity

extra virgin olive oil: u guys do realise that i didnt JUST lose my virginity right
it happened like 3 years ago

rat: mikey u hoe

gegard: ray dont call my brother a hoe
but yea mikey u hoe 
u were like 12 

joosh: mikeys been gettin all the lads since the ripe age of 12

ty;er: josh
12 isnt a ripe age
12 is a baboy 

 

- franj renamed the group baboy

 

bred: WHAT WOULD U CONSIDER TO BE A RIPE AGE THEN TYLER

ty;er: liek
80

gegard: 50

ballon: 32

rat: make it 18

bred: AH YES
THE RIPE OLD AGE OF 18
I YEARN TO LIVE THAT LONG

shronk boy: o how i wish i could live to the ripe old age of 18 years
i am but 16 and already on my death bed
but alas i have had a good life
thrice i ate a berry and once a pear
my children and grandchildren shall thrive in the new world

extra virgin olive oil: what the fuck ryan 

tray: yall are weird as fuck im going to taco bell

billieboy: bro trip to taco bell 

rat: billie dont ever say bro trip 

ty;er: have fun u guys
feel bad for us poor unfortunate souls who arent going on the bro trip

joosh: think of us when u get diarrhoea later 

nike: actually i woulndt really want anyone thinking about me when theyre taking a shit ya feel me

gegard: fuck u mean mike thats the best time to think of someone 

shronk boy: "i care about u so ill picture u when i take a shit later" 
its almost better than saying i love u 

extra virgin olive oil: once again i have to say what the fuck ryan

rat: im watching u 2 walk away from my class btw

billieboy: why do u have ur hand on the glass like this is some war movie and me and tre are ur husbands leaving for war

ty;er: 'husbands' PLURAL 
ray u hoe

tray: if i die i die
i have had a good life

shronk boy: u havent had a good life until u have thrice eaten a berry and once a pear 

extra virgin olive oil: and again.. what the fuck ryan  

Chapter Text

bred: OH SHIT U GUYS
HOLY FUCKING SHIT 
TACO BELL ENDED IN A BLOODBATH 
THIS IS SO GODDAMN WILD

ballon: what the fuck happened jesus christ 

bred: U SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE 
OH MAN ALL U GUYS SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE
THIS IS SO FUCKING INSANE 

nike: what did billie and tre do this time
no wait i dont wanna know 
but is billie okay

bred: well hes alive 
i think

nike: whAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN
im coming down there rn 

shronk boy: brendon 
u 3 were there for less than an hour 
how tf did u manage to cause trouble so fast

bred: IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST HOLY FUCK I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED
BUT BILLIES LAYING ON THE FLOOR HE WONT EVEN SPEAK AND TRES IN HANDCUFFS AND THE WHOLE PLACE IS WRECKED 

gegard: okay we're gonna need an explanation 

bred: oh s hit i gotta go 

nike: I JUST RAN A:LL THE WAY THE TACO BELL AND IT LEGIT LOOKS LIKE A BOMB WENT OFF WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED
I CANT ASK ANY ONE BC TRES GETTING ARRESTED BRENDONS RUNNING AROUND TRYING TO AVOID THE COPS AND BILLIE LOOKS LIKE HES ABOUT TO CRY 

ty;er: every time i dont check my phone something interesting happens why is life cruel to me this way

joosh: bc u a bitch

bred: okay i lost the cosps 

extra virgin olive oil: why were they even chasing u

bred: okay so full story time
we got to taco bell and billies phone kept ringing and he kept ignoring it but then he answered it on oud speaker and an angry man was yelling 
billie said he was at taco bell which was dumb bc then the angry man found us
and tre said it was shady truck dude

extra virgin olive oil: SHADY TRUCK DUDE????????

bred: yes mikey thats what i justs said
anYWya
billie like tried to get up and run away for some reason??
but shady truck dude grabbed him and thREW HIM on the ground it was mnetal 

nike: why
what the fuck
whO THE FUCK IS TRYNA HURT MY BOYFRIEND 

bred: he isnt trying to hurt him mike he DID hurt him 
like a lot

joosh: at least bike are back together :)

franj: i love josh 
he always sees the good in a situation 

ty;er: um france fuck off pls 
frANCE IM WHEEZE

 

- rat changed franj's nickname to france

 

nike: theres literally NO good in this situatio tho 

bred: can we like stop interrupting brendon now pls ty
anyway
so shday truck dude threw him on the floor and was like kicking the shit out of him
everyone else in taci bell were recording it 
and then i SHIT U NOT
TRE RAN AT HIM AND BODY SLAMMED HIM AND STARTED PUCNHING HIM

nike: tres a good boy a pure boy
saving billie 
good

gegard: i wish i came to diarrhoea central w/ u guys now it sounded crazy 

bred: it was terrifying no joke
shady truck dude fucken BATTERED him 
and he was yelling and billie was also yelling and tre was yelling and beating the shit out of shady truck dude
and then shady truck dude staretd hitting tre so i joined in and man it was wild 

ty;er: fucken sick bro

nike: aM I THE ONLY ONE CONCENED FOR BILLIES HEALTH 
HE LOOKS DEAD 

ballon: brendon finish the story now now now

shronk boy: i never knew taco bell was so exciting 

bred: yea so shady truck dude was fighting all 3 of us
and the billie got super mad and just smashed a chair over his head 
then someone called the cops and like 10 cops cars pulled up outside
and they ran in and grabbed billie and tried to arrest him but tre kicked one of them and got himself arrested instead
and then shady truck dude punched billie one last time and said he was gonna kill him when he gets home
idk man it was fucked up

nike: oh mygod u guys ar e never going to taco bell again shit 

france: but the real question is who the fuck is shady truck dude and why does he hate billie so much 

rat: i... how...
its been an hour
AN HOUR
and u guys are already getting arrested and beatu up

extra virgin olive oil: ray where haveu been myy son 

rat: i have been not getting arrested or beat up
which is wild i know idk how i manage to stay out of trouble its a crazy concept 

nike: why the fuck did billie just walk off 
wheres he going 

billieboy: home
leave me aloen 
dont listen to brendon it rlly wasnt that bad im fine

france: is tre still getting arresteds

bred: yea they just took him away in a cop car 
and billie dont pretend ur fine u can barely walk 

billieboy: i fuckng said im fine okay leave it

shronk boy: should we go and rescue tre
im gonna go and rescue tre

joosh: prison break starring tre cool and ryan ross

ty;er: hey ryan
the second letter in both our first names is y and the second letter in boht our last names is o 
u know what hat means

shronk boy: the planets aligned and ur gonna get slapped 

ty;er: :O
no actually
it means we are soul mates

joosh: tlyler no 

ty;er: sorry jish im leaving u for ryan 

extra virgin olive oil: "tlyler"

rat: "jish"

 

- gegard changed ty;er's nickname to tlyler

 

- gegard changed joosh's nickname jish

 

- nike removed billieboy from baboy

 

nike: u guys this isnt  a joke anymore im seriously worried about billie 

tlyler: removing him is really going to help well done mike 10/10 A+ effort 

mike: up shut ur mouth mother bitch

gegard: billie said he was fine
but then again brendon said he wasnt fine

france: theyre both liars who should we trust 

extra virgin olive oil: me and ray just went to see what happened
and yea we should definitely trust brendon on this one
billie really isnt fine 

rat: he looks so sad and scared i think i might cry oh my god
lmao tre just waved as he got taken away
he looks a bit fucked up too

bred: yea some heavy shit went down
but hey at least we got taco bell

jish: hey u know how tre said taco bell gives him diarrhoea 
what if he gets diarrhoea in the cop car

shronk boy: i would pay to see that

extra virgin olive oil: and for the fourth time this day: what the fuck ryan 

Chapter Text

ballon: tyler we need to talk about ur search history buddy 

tlyler: whY THE FUCK ARE U LOOKING AT MY SEARCH HISTORY 

ballon: U USED MY PHONE TO SEARCH A FUCK TON OF STUFF HOW CAN I NOT LOOK AT IT 

jish: tyler we talked about this
dont watch porn on other peoples phones
its not polite 

brebdob: tyler thats disrespectful 

tlyler: eat my entire ass i wasnt even watching porn i just had some questions 

ballon: "is guy ferrari in smash mouth" 
"guy ferrari smash mouth guy same person"
"who s the singer of smash moth"
"guy ferrari is in smash mouth conspiracy theory"

gegard: what the hells a smash moth 

france: "guy ferrari" tyler did u actually type that or is dallons illiterate acting up again

tlyler: is his name not guy ferrari 

france: no u fool its guy fieri 

extra virgin olive oil: actually its guy ramsay ferry 

gegard: mikey why do u know so much useless information on irrelevant people 
namely guy ferrari and harry truman 

extra virgin olive oil: harRY TRUMAN ISNT IRRELEVANT GERARD U ARE

tray: i bet mikey has wet dreams about harry truman and guy fieri having hot steamy sex 

extra virgin olive oil: im going to make some new friends bye

 

- extra virgin olive oil left baboy

 

shronk boy: and im going to have a conversation with someone normal bye

 

- shronk boy left baboy

 

france: trE MY SON UR BACK HOW WAS UR LIFE IN PRISON

tray: oh MAN IT WAS WILD there was this man they called him dildo dave becsue he beat his girlfriend to death with a dildo and he gave me some life advice
"if ur gonna commit a crime, make sure u dont get caught" 
im living ,y life by that motto now shout out to dildo dave my homie on the inside 

rat: tre i want u to stop a sec and ask urself
is it a good idea to take life advice from a man called dildo dave 

tray: yes ray tf kind of question is that

 

- tray renamed the group DILDO DAVE: THE REAL MVP

 

tray: so wheres bike 

brebdob: billies just kind of vanished off teh face of the earth after yesterday
and im not sure where mike is he hasnt been in the chat today

rat: for some reason that alarms me

ballon: adding ryan back he just txeted me yelling about somethinh 

brebdob: but how can he text and yell 

tlyler: *x-files theme music plays*

jish: ryan is a man of many talenst im sure he can find a way of texting AND yelling 

 

- ballon added shronk boy to DILDO DAVE: THE REAL MVP

 

shronk boy: WE NEED TO SAVE MIKE HES GONNA GET HIMSELF KILELD
but wait whos dildo dave

gegard: the phrase is "but wait theres more" not "but wait whos dildo dave"

jish: buT WaIT thEReS MoRe

tlyler: b u t w a i t t h e r e s m o r e

jish: b̶̮͍̖̦̣̝̼̫̝̒͐̾͊͒̑̔͝u̷̪̼̤͙̦̥̜̒̊̽̍͒̆̀͆̍͞t̸̛̗̬̙̖̻͔̗̭̍̆͑͘͝͡ w̵̮͎̞̹͕̼̯͎̠̱͐̀͒͋̊̆̆͂̚̕ą̭̦̼̞̺͆̉̿͋͠ï̡̡̨͔͎̥̣̠͑͊͗̕͝t̨̢̛͎͈͈͉̺͖̺̋̑̃͆͑͟͡ ṭ̸͓͓̰̪̩͖͗͆̈́͆͑̊͜h̴̹̪̯̤̣͎͎̰͚̃̎̈́̇̾̽̓̑͟͠e̹̭̠͔̪̻̘̯͂̀̒̌̈́̑̾͗̈r̵̡̭̱̬̥̃̒̏͌̂͝ȩ̨̻̝̯̭̬̙̱̒͆̋̂̊s̢͓̦̼̈̄́̒̾̇̚ͅ m̸̟͉̫̻̭͔̍͆̓̌̆̆̾͢͝o̷̯̫͇̥̰̪̖͂͒̾̌̔̎͡͡ŕ̡̺̪̞̾̌͗̋͂̕͟͝ȇ̴͎͓̯̰̳̽̋̒̓̎͢͠

france: NO 
NO 
NO 
N
O
FUCK OFF JOSH FUCK OFF JOSH FUCK OFF JOSH 

rat: IM LEAVING BEFORE THE GOVERNMENT CAN ACCUSE ME OF WORSHIPING SATAN AGAIN B Y E

 

- rat left DILDO DAVE: THE REAL MVP

 

jish: nO IM SORRY RAY COME BACK I DIDNT MEAN TO WORSHIP SATATN AGAIN 

shronk boy: am i missing something here..??

gegard: yes
once upon a time we had a very calm and nice group chat but then josh summoned satan into it and the government fucking closed it down and we all got in trouble

shronk boy: wow u guys dont fuck around
u got in trouble with the ACTUAL government holy shit
WIAT I JUSR REMEMBEED I HAVE TO TELL U GUYS SOMETHING ADD EVERYONE BACK QUICK QUICK NOW DO IT 

 

- tlyler added extra virgin olive oil to DILDO DAVE: THE REAL MVP

 

- tlyler added billieboy to DILDO DAVE: THE REAL MVP

 

- tlyler added rat to DILDO DAVE: THE REAL MVP

 

billieboy: why cant u guys just leave me alone for like 1day to sort my shit out
whos dildo dave

tray: i met him in prison he was very nice

billieboy: oh my god im sorry i got u arrested 
jesus fucking christ u should all stay away from me ill get u all killed soemday 

brebdob: friends stick together billie even if we all end up dead or in jail

extra virgin olive oil: that might be the nicest thing u ever said brendon 

gegard: ryAN WHAT DO U NEED TI TELL US 

shronk boy: O RITE
well i went off to find some normal people to talk to and i found mike and i askedhim why he wasnt talking to us in the chat and he said he was busy and he had to go find shady truck dude for something 
hes gonna get himself killed so i figured id tell u guys 

billieboy: fucking hell no 
why is he complicating thinsg 

ballon: billie just explain one lil thing
who is shady truck dude and why does he hate u so much 

billieboy: hm yes lets see
none of ur fucking busieness 

extra virgin olive oil: we know too much about u now
u cant lie anymore

gegard: mikey that sounds fucking creeepu dont 

billieboy: u dont know shit 

extra virgin olive oil: haHA thats where ur wrong my friendo
i know eveything 
i just kept it to myself until i could get u all together 

france: plsease enlighten us 

billieboy: mikey no 
please 

extra virgin olive oil: shady truck dude is in a gang
billie somehow pissed him off
and thats why he hates him
and he cant go home bc shady truck dude knows where he lives 

tlyler: is that true or is mikey trying to sound smart

billieboy: honestly mikey u coukdnt be more wrong 
so fuck u ha

nike: holY HELL U GUYS
IM HIDING FROM SHADY TRUCK DUDE HES SCARIER THAN I THOUGHT HELP ME

billieboy: mIKE U FUCKING USELESS ASSHOLE HES GONNA KILL ME NOW

nike: BILLIE WHAT THE FUCK I WAS TRYING TO HELP

billieboy: WELL CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS U LIMP PENIS 
U PRETTY MUCH JUST SENTENCED ME TO DEATH WITH UR "HELP"
JUST FUCK OFF OUT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE PLEASE THANK U GOODBYE

 

- billieboy left DILDO DAVE: THE REAL MVP

 

jish: what the actual fuck just happened

brebdob: seE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN U GET ALL SATANIC JOSH 

jish: boI WHO THE FUCK U THINK UR DISRESPECTING IN THIS HOUSE

brebdob: WE ARE AT SCHOOL JOSH
WHAT HOUSE

nike: I FUCKED UP AGAIN AND SHADY TRUCK DUDE WANTS TO KILL ME AND ALL U SHITWANKS CARE ABOUT IS JOSH BEING SATANIC AGAIN

tlyler: this whole chat revolves around josh being satanic 

jish: WHY IS EVERYONE CYBERBULLYING ME

tray: I MISS DILDO DAVE
THERE WAS NO ARGUMETS NO DRAMA NO HOSTILITY WITH DILDO DAVE
WHEN HE GETS LET OUT OF JAIL IM WELCOMING HIM INTO THE CHAT

france: trE NO

Chapter Text

ballon: hey guys
guys
ask brendon who played will in pirates of the cabirrean 

brebdob: dallon no this isnt funny anymore

ballon: this will never syop being funny
someone ask him who plays will on pirates ofthe carbiean

brebdob: dallon shut up

ballon: no
now ask him who plays will in pirates of the cabriean 

extra virgin olive oil: dallon how did u manage to spell caribbean in 3 different ways and all wrong 

ballon: i dont know hwo to spell carirbrean mikey leave me alone
but someoen ask him pls i promise its funny

brebdob: it is not funny

ballon: it is

jish: brendon who plays will on pirates of the caribbean 

brebdob: im not answering 
i made a mistake okay
im only human 

ballon: brendon dont be a shit fit

france: brendon tell usssssss

brebdob: i said florida bloom okay i ficking forgot his name i know it was somewhere in florida leave me alone

ballon: flORIDA BLOOM 
CANNOT BREATHE

rat: oh my god

tray: guys
while florida bloom is hilarious
i may or may not know something important and i need some advice

nike: tre no u promised u would never tell them

tray: tell them what

france: ooh what

shronk boy: i am intrigued 

nike: oh lmao
u were talking about something else
nvm

tlyler: no i wanna know now wtf mike u cant do that to ur 11 sons

gegard: *10 sons
billie isnt here 

tray: good
bc i know something about him
but like
idk if i should say u feel me

rat: as the unofficial mom of the group its my job to give u advice
but unfortuntely for u i fuckin suck at giving advice so sorry buddy ur on ur own on this one

tray: wow ray
im inspired 

ballon: can we pls just get to the point

jish: no wait i wanna know what mike thought tre was gonna say

nike: haHA no thank u

jish: yes thank u

extra virgin olive oil: am i the only one genuienly concerned about billies safety right now
tre what do u know and how do u know it

tray: well it all happened this morning about 5am
i was rlly hungry and also bored so i went out to buy food 

gegard: ooh what did u get

tray: nothing actually i got  a lil distracted
oH that reminds me im still hungry shit

brebdob: whta kind of fuckwit goes to buy food and then doesnt buy food

ballon: brendon dont insult him
just bc u end up buying food literally every time u go outside

brebdob: i am a growing boy i need my food 

tray: stop talking about food what the fuck u know im hungry 

gegard: go get food then

tray: maybe i will maybe i wont who knows not me
update: i do know
i will go get food
brb

extra virgin olive oil: trE NO UR SUPPOSED TO BE TELLING THE STORY

tray: MIKEY I CANT TELL A STORY ON AN EMPTY STOMACH

france: hes gotta point u know

rat: frank ur literally not helping at all

france: harsh :/

extra virgin olive oil: shUT UP JESUS FUCK
tre continue

tray: well i went to the store and i was looking for cereal bc u all know thats what i eat 98.4% of the time

tlyler: i want cereal now
im going to get cereal
DINT TELL TEH STPRY UNTIL I GET BACK MY PHOEN IS CHANGING I CANNOT MOVE IT

jish: changing into what
a new outfit? a new form? the possibilities are enDLESS

tlyler: changing into a dildo so u can shove it up ur ass
i meant charging u biscuit

jish: biscuit?

tray: biscuit, noun: a small baked unleavened cake, typically crisp, flat, and sweet

gegard: its been so long since tre gave us the definition of an non-insult word thats been used as an insult i almost forgot he does that wow insane

jish: anyway i dont need it to change ill shove it up my ass as it is

shronk boy: josh u cant shove a phone up ur ass sorry i dont make the rules

jish: aw barnacles

extra virgin olive oil: tyler either take ur phone with u or dont get cereal
either way shut the fuck up and quIT INTERRUPTING THE GOSSIP

tray: rught where was i

rat: trapped in the void 

tray: yea probably 
anyway
i was boutta grab some cereal when shADY TRUCK DUDE WALKED DOWN THE AISLE WITH BILLIE

nike: U SAW BILLIE???????
IS HE OKAY
DID HE SEE U
DID U SPEAK
TRE I NEED ANSWERS GIVE ME A N S W E R S

tray: oKAY jesus fucking christ i cant reply in 0.3 seconds like u can
no hes not okay
no he didnt see me
no we didnt speak

nike: how isnt he okay
and how tf didnt he see u if u were in the same aisel

tray: shady truck dude was drunk and yelling A LOT and kind of dragging billie about and he looked mildly terrified 
and i hid in a freezer mike duh are u an idiot 

extra virgin olive oil: whats the deal with shady truck dude why is he such an asshole

tray: that isnt even the worset part mikey 
but like idk if i can say this 
idk if billie would want me to

tlyler: why tf are u being so vague hARRY UP I WANT MY GODDAMN CEREAL 

shronk boy: "harry up"

rat: harry down

brebdob: harry left

extra virgin olive oil: harry truman 

ballon: no mikey wtf
its up down left right
not up down left truman

nike: tre hat happened

tray: yes mike i know hat happened
it was terrible
alll those hats just flying around
the hatpocalypse 

tlyler: tre are u okay

shronk boy: asking tre if hes okay is like asking mikey if hes had sex
the answer is obviously no

extra virgin olive oil: rYAN 
I FUCKED PETE WENTZ LIKE 5 TIMES IM NOT A VIRGIN

gegard: pleasant
now pls shut the fuck up

rat: if ur not a virgin then why does ur name say u are

extra virgin olive oil: my name also says olive oil but shock horror i am not olive oil

tlyler: dont be olive oil, be olive garden 

jish: i shed a tear at how inspiring u are tyler

rat: oh my god breadsticks 

gegard: u cant eat breadsticks with olive oil ray ew

rat: if u cared to LISTEN u would know that tyler said be OLIVE GARDEN not OLIVE OIL

brebdob: me on a date: so do u prefer breadsticks with olive oil or olive garden
date: i dont like breadsticks at all
me, shoving breadsticks into my purse: more for me then

france: me on a date: where did all the breadsticks go
date: theyre in my purse
me, shoving myself into my dates purse: im sorry i have to go

extra virgin olive oil: guys

shronk boy: me on a date: can i borrow ur purse mines full
date: full with money?
me, dropping breadsticks everywhere: not exactly

extra virgin olive oil: guys pls

gegard: me, a breadstick: gee i sure hope no one shoves me in their purse
my date, already being shoved into a purse: we didnt even get to finish the date
me, shoving myself into the purse: well finish the date in here then 

ballon: gerad that isnt how the meme goes

france: aw hes so swet tho
he woud literally sacrifice himself for his breadstick lover 

gegard: i would sacrifice myself for u too <3

jish: aw omg
tyler why arnet u this nice to me

tlyler: bc u suck

extra virgin olive oil: gUYS 
PAY. ATTENTION. TO. TRES. STORY

nike: i agree with the virgin

extra virgin olive oil: UR GONNA BE A VIRGIN IN A MINUTE IF U KEEP BEING MEAN

nike: how
are u gonna give me my virginity back
sorry but billie has that

tray: okay im ready to dinish the story now
so shady truck dude went outside and got in his truck and made billie get in too and they drove off
so i borrow3d a car and followed them and i foUND BILLIES HOUSE well i think itis idk 
and shady truck dude went inside but billie was gonna walk off up the road somewhre 
but then shady truck dude got rlly mad and started call him faggot and basicaly threatend to kill him if he didnt go inside 

nike: oh my god no
holy hsit we need to help him 
what if shady truck dude kidnapped him and is holding him hostage

tray: i climbed up the side of the house and found billies room and i was gonna knock on the window but then shady truck dude walked in 
and then some bad shit happened 

gegard: wait what do u mean "bad shit"

shronk boy: and suddenly this chat isnt so funny anymore 

tray: there was some arguing and billie tried to run away but it didnt work out so well and he got the shit beat out of him
like it was so fucking bad i almost cried 
im gonna have nightmares about it i swear 

brebdob: this is making me so mad i wanna fight shady truck dude
later were all gonna fight shady truck dude idgaf if i get arrested for the 12987th time i wiLL FIGHT THAT MAN

ballon: im with u 
#stopshadytruckdude2017

nike: do u know who shady truck dude is now or what

tray: yea but
billie made me promise not to tell u guys anything
i know i already told u a lot but 

france: wait wat u spoke to billie

tray: yea he kinda saw me 
and then invited me in and told me some stuff
but then made me promise i wouldnt tell u guys

nike: not eveb me

tray: especially not u 
he doenst think u guys will undestand 

extra virgin olive oil: understand what

tray: seriously i cant say

shronk boy: billies ur friend right
and u wanna help him right
well we wanna help too but we cant if u dont tell us what the fuck is going on

gegard: tre u cant keep this a secret forever

tray: i can if billie wants me to 

nike: tre jesus christ just fucking tell us
or at least tell me
im his boyfriend i deserve to know

tray: jfc fine ill dm u 
if he kills me its ur fault

jish: wow unfair we all should know

nike: holy shit tre are u fucking serious

tray: sadly yes

tlyler: whAT WHAT WHAT

rat: mike u gotta tell us

tray: mIKE NO

france: yes yes yes tell us

brebdob: mike
consider this
we can all help if u tell us

nike: im gonna tell them

tray: no mike what the hell 

nike: im gonna tell them and then delete the messages and add billie back and pretend we dont know anything
until we figure out what to do

gegard: ooh nice plan mike nice plan
it would be even better if i knEW WHAT WAS GOING ON

nike: okay so
shady truck dude
is billies step dad
and hes a fucking alcoholic asshole who abuses him 

ballon: dun dun dun

extra virgin olive oil: dallon no not now

Chapter Text

ballon: ive done some research and i have found out the followung
brendon has cried at the outsiders top gun risky business and every single mission impossible movie
all of those movies star tom cruise
conclusion: brendon doesnt cry at movies he cries at tom cruise

brebdob: dallon
is that why u were up all night

ballon: yes
i wrote an 8 page essay and made a powerpoint on it
would u like to see

jish: who the fuck cries at top gun

brebdob: GOOSE DIED OKAY IT WAS HARD TIME FOR ME

extra virgin olive oil: theres a major flaw in ur logic dallon
brendon also cried when we watched ghostbusters 

brebdob: ah yes well thats because tom cruise isnt in ghostbusters 

ballon: tHAT JUST PROVES MY THEORY EVEN MORE
TOM CRUISE IS THE REASON BRENDON CRIES ALL THE TIME

shronk boy: hes crying right now in the middle of class

brebdob: no ryan shut up its tom cruises fault

gegard: tom cruise how could u 

rat: remember the good ol "im not crying im just gay"

nike: billies quote not urs 
ray u stealer :(

gegard: so are we just collectively ignoring what tre told us

france: apparently so

tray: u assholes better not tell him i told u
hell murder me

tlyler: tre
consider this
hell get murdered if we dont do something

france: what exactly are we supposed to do

tlyler: idk 

extra virgin olive oil: is he even in shcool today

gegard: yes hes in my class
hes acting like nothing happened

nike: hes had practice at that

shronk boy: okay i have a plan

rat: if it involves someone getting hurt/someone getting arrested/someone dying/someone getting detention/ect it wonr work trust me

shronk boy: okay i do not have a plan

tray: hes asking me to add him back 
what do i do help

brebdob: i vote we add him back
but delete the other messages

ballon: aw but then he ownt be able to see my theory about tom cruise making brendon cry

brebdob: good

tray: okay ill add him back everyone act normal nothing happened u guys know notHING got it

 

- tray added billieboy to DILDO DAVE: THE REAL MVP

 

ballon: BILLIE I FIGURED OUT WHY BRENDON CRIES AT SO MANY MOVIES
ITS BECAUSE OF TOM CRUISE

billieboy: ah i suspected as much
anyway i asked tre to add me back bc i have a complaint 

nike: and what is this complaint 

billieboy: frANK IF U DONT CONTROL UR FUCKING BOYFRIEND IM GOING TO LOCK HIM IN A FREEZER 

france: o H
oh dear
what did he do 

gegard: fuck off it was funny

billieboy: i lauGHE D SO haRD i fuccKING driBBLEd on mYSSElf 
IT WSNT FUNNY

jish: but billie
if it wasnt funny why were u laughing 

brebdob: *mii channel music plays*

shronk boy: why the fuck is mii channel music playing 

brebdob: whoops my bad
i meant *x-files theme plays*

extra virgin olive oil: yes because those are very similar arent they brendon

brebdob: bite me bitch 

france: heLLO
what did gerard do 

billieboy: he leaned right across like three desks while i was writing my name and tapped me on the shoulder and made it seem like he had something real important to tell me and he went close to my ear to whisper something and i thought it would be something relevant or interesting 
but no
he fucking whispered "i just read ur name as bongjong"

ballon: im crying 

tlyler: BONGJONG OH MY GOD

 

- tray changed billieboy's nickname to bongjong

 

bongjong: NO

gegard: bongjong legstrong

nike: this is like a repeat of blowjob gaystrong 

ballon: billie joe armstrong dont u mean boobjob armrest

bongjong: well i got kicked out and so did gerard so wwere chilin on the roof

tray: i just got kicked out too
since when is expressing myself through art against school rules

extra virgin olive oil: but u didnt "express urself through art" did u tre
no
u drew marijuana leaves all over ur book and tried to tell the teacher it was the canadian flag 
and then u called her a racist slug when she told u ur not canadian 

jish: i have also been removed from my class

tlyler: "lets rename the mariana trench the marijuana trench and all get high in the ocean and touch the fish" - josh dun 2017 shortly before he got kciked out of class

extra virgin olive oil: why are u all potheads 

gegard: mikey dont act like u never got high before

france: mr turner just lets me leave class now so hi hello ill meet u gays on the roof

rat: why do u guys alway meet up on the roof 
dont u guys remember what happened to tre

bongjong: yes it was tragic but the roof is the one place we dont egt caight so 

tlyler: thats not actually true but sure

nike: but who will catch us when we fall

rat: mika that sounds like an overplayed basic pop song pls stop

nike: did u just fuckng call me mika 
what the fuck ray
i let u into my HOUSE i give u my FOOD and u repay me by calling me mika

 

- gegard changed nike's nickname to mika

 

gegard: sorry mika u know it had to be done

bongjong: has the roof got higher
i feel like the roof got higher

tray: i dont feel safe without our beloved principal waiting down below 

france: now would be a good time to announce i have fireworks in my bag

extra virgin olive oil: hOW
WHERE

jish: he just said in his bag mikey smh learn to read

extra virgin olive oil: i meant where did he get them from 

shronk boy: seT THEM OFF FRANK 
FIRE ONE AT TYWIN I DARE U

extra virgin olive oil: YES OMG RAN FINALLY A GOOD IDEA

brebdob: 'ran'

 

- tlyler changed shronk boy's nickname to ran

 

ran: thnx

bongjong: now we have rat and ran 

rat: i dont wanna be rat 

 

- mika changed rat's nickname to mouse

 

mouse: wow thanks mike amazing

tray: im lighting franks fireworks btw
hA FUCK no im not i just burned my hand

france: trE NO THE FIREWORK IS FALLING OFF THE ROOF

tray: its okay i lit it as it fell

jish: there is now a wild firework flying around hitting everyone 
trE NO DONT LIGHT THE REST OF THEM WHAT THE FUCK

tray: HA HA OOPS TOO LATE 
WOW LOOK AT THEM FLY

france: my freiworks :( tre u shit

ran: did one of them at leats hit tywin

bongjong: no ryan im sorry :/

gegard: im out
bye
tywins coming for our asses

tray: i mean he can have my ass if he wants
hes no principal but hes relatively handsome i guess

extra virgin olive oil: tre hes like 70 what the fuck

tray: sugar daddy material 

extra virgin olive oil: tRE

mouse: tre u disturb me more and more each day

tray: thank u ray that is my goal

brebdob: hoLY SHIT U GUYS GUESS WHAT I JUST OVERHEARD
U KNOW HOW THE NEW PRINCIPAL IS ONLU TEMPORARY
WELL WERE ALL FUCKED NOW OH MY GOD

ballon: wh what 

brebdob: TYWIN IS GONNA BE THE NEW PRINCIPAL 
FUCKING TYWIN 
TYWIN THE OLD GRUMPY BASTARD

jish: hes only old and grumpy bc we made him old and grumpy

gegard: yes josh we made him old didnt we
we aged him up 

tray: thank u for aging him up to my preffered age

extra virgin olive oil: TRE ST O P

tray: ur just jealous ur still a virgin 

extra virgin olive oil: I AM NOY 
ASK PETE 
WE FUCKED LOADS OF TIMES
CHANGE MY NICKNAME

 

- tlyler changed extra virgin olive oil's nickname to extra NOT virgin olive oil

 

extra NOT virgin olive oil: tyler fuck u 
u guys are all assholes 

france: poor milky 
ur just jealous u dont have a boyfriend/girldfriend/companion of ur preferred gender

gegard: ooh i like that
"companion of ur preferred gender"

ballon: i just laugehd so hard at frank calling mikey milky

 

- tlyler changed extra NOT virgin olive oil's nickname to milky

 

milky: no but for real i have a question regarding relationships 
becayse me and pete are literally just fuck buddies at the momet

gegard: okay jesus shut up thats gross

milky: how did all u gays actually get into relationships

brebdob: alcohol was involved

france: no alcohol was involved

tlyler: weed was involved

milky: taking notes rn
mike what about u abd billie

mika: we literally started off as fuck buddies 
and then one day billie was like "yo do u wanna be something more than just fuck buddies" and i was like "yea sure"

bongjong: first he snatched my weave
then he snatched my heart

Chapter Text

jish: are u ready kids

tlyler: aye aye captain

jish: i cant hear u

tlyler: aYE AYE CAPTAIN

jish: oooooooooooooooooooooh
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mouse: literally what the fuck is wrong with u guys

Chapter Text

ballon: #stopbrendonurie2017

ran: i agree
#stopbrendonurie2017

mouse: about time someone took this seriously #stopbrendonurie2017

brebdob: hey now 
fuck u

bongjong: i believe the correct lyrics are "hey now ur an all star"
but anyway what happened 

mouse: brendon happened

milky: *pretends to be shocked that brendon is causing mayhem again*

jish: elighten me
whats satan doing 

brebdob: hey i take offence at that

ran: making up new names for thinsg and just generally being an ass u know classic bendon

gegard: go on

ballon: basically
tater tots - potato children
slim jims - slender james
papa johns - father jonathans
sloppy joes - untidy josephs

tray: darn those potato children

mouse: it doesnt sound funny like that but when he leans over and whispers "father jonathan" in ur ear while ur trying to write something down its a bit hard not to laugh

mika: HA GERARD JUST INHALED HIS ENTIRE PEN 

gegard: fuck u i could of DIED

mika: i know lmao

france: mike what the fuck

tlyler: im writing a formal complaint to the principal 

tray: leave him alone
wiat no nvm
its not the same principal idgaf

tlyler: i have been SUSPENDED 
because i said we should change jesus name to jizzus
u know
like jizz us

mouse: honestly tyler what the hell

tlyler: its a difficult time im turbing into a man leave me alone

bongjong: gerard keeps repeating potatio children i hope ur happen brendon

brebdob: whats a potatio

france: when u cant decide whether to have potato or pistachio 

jish: no no no
its the ratio of pot to ato

ballon: i didnt know theres pot in atos

milky: okay but what is an ato

bongjong: its where u put the pot mikey gosh darn dont u know nothing

tlyler: i dint know there was pot in potatos

jish: potpotatoatoatoatoatoato

ran: yes josh correct

gegard: anyway
someone explain to me how i managed to get banned from every single club this year

brebdob: u threw an entire desk at someone in chess club
u kicked three people in math club
u choked on a haribo in latin club and threw up twice

gegard: i didnt want an actual explanation but okay

france: u asked fro an explanastion tho???????????

bongjong: oh yea that reminds me 
i have some news
u guys are assholes btw

ran: oh
okay

mika: abORT

gegard: MIKE NO DONT JUST RUN OUT OF CLASS AWAY WHAT THE FUCK

mika: TOO LATE

milky: what did we do tf

bongjong: i might be getting held back a year bc of how many classes im failing/how many times ive missed school/just generally how much trouble ive causes
i blame the chat so that means i also blame u guys

tray: oh damn i thoight u meant the other thing lmao i was scared for a second 

bongjong: wait what other thing

tray: what

bongjong: u just said "i thought u meant the other thing"
so what other thing

tray: there is no other thing

bongjong: u just said theere was

tray: no 

tlyler: dear goat this is a mess
A Mess™

ballon: goat
tyler
no

tlyler: would u prefer jizzus

mouse: tYLER SHIT

bongjong: HELLO
WHAT OTHER THING

ballon: me and brendon are having martial struggles its a very rough time we would aprecaiete if u left us alone ty :)

brebdob: ah yes the martial struggles
dallon cant do karate

ballon: yes i can take it back

brebdob: no u cant take it back

ballon: brendon honey that doesnt make sense

brebdob: neitehr does life

tray: and im having a hard time bc the principal is gone and i have no one to lust after anymore 

bongjong: yes but what does this have to do w/ me 

jish: we nominated u for new principal

milky: we wish u luck in ur new life but we can no longer be friends goodbye

 

- milky removed bongjong from DILDO DAVE: THE REAL MVP

 

mika: oh my god that couldnt have gone worse if we planned it

ran: its okay i think he bought it
add him back to make sure

 

- ran added bongjong to DILDO DAVE: THE REAL MVP

 

ran: how is ur new life as principal of the united states of america

bongjong: what
pls someone
what the fuck

france: its hard to adjust we know shh its okay

bongjong: seriouslY
fuckinhg tell me whats going on rught fucking now or ill punch each of u 10 times

gegard: why 10

bongjong: bc thats how old ur all acting

tray: hey
i like to think im at least 11 

bongjong: W H A T T H E F U C K I S G O I N G O N

jish: nothing

mika: nothing

gegard: nothing

france: nothing

milky: nothing

ran: nothing 

mouse: nothing

brebdob: nothing

tlyler: nothing

tray: nothing

ballon: nothing

bongjong: whY THE FUCK DID EVERY SINGLE ONE OF U SEND THAT AT E X A C T L Y THE SAME TIME 
DO U KNOW HOW WEIRD AND SHADY THAT IS

mouse: is it as shady as... shady truck dude

ran: ray no be quiet shut up shh

brebdob: ryan its over
The Great Secret™ is over

milky: it lasted longr than i though good job boys but now we all have to face the wrath of the goblin king

bongjong: i-
i am not a fucking goblin mikey

mika: mikey u got it wrong
its gremlin not goblin

milky: well now its goblin
little goblin man

 

- tlyler renamed the group the legend of little goblin man

 

bongjong: can someone just tell me whats heppening pls im not in the mood for this shit today

ran: hm
and whys that

bongjong: hm lets see
i think it might be the weather
NO U FUCKING BREADCRUMB I MIGHT BE GETTING HELD BACK TF DO U THINK 

brebdob: bilie 
why are u being an ass
what did we do

bongjong: nothing
just
stop fucking asking me shit
im fine

tlyler: ...no one asked if u were fine 

bongjong: well thats just incredibly fucking rude

 

- bongjong left the legend of little goblin man

 

mika: okay so 
that was weird as fuck

mouse: yea jfc
is he okay

tray: he went from chill to RAGE in 2 minutes 
no hes not okay ray 

milky: i vote we all come clean and just tell him we know
who  knows maybe he wont murder ALL of us

tray: nope no nuh uh no way
he will definitely murder all of us
ill be first bc i promised not to tell anyobe and surprise everyone knows

mika: tre what did he expect u to do
just keep it a secret and never tell us even tho it would probably end badly for both of u

ballon: okay listen up
i have a plan

jish: here we fucking go

ballon: oi

jish: shut up ur not british

ballon: maybe i am maybe im not
who knows not me
anyway
tre takes us (not mike) to billies house 
mike takes billie to his house to keep him out the way
we all kidnap shady truck dude and put him in a van (not picky about where we get it from)
we drive somewhere and throw him out of the truck and we make sure he doesnt come back

mika: nice plan kinda detailed i give it a 7/10
but
i dont think any of us wants to go to prison for murder

mouse: who said anthing about murder

mika: "we make sure he doesnt come back" idk about u ray but that sure sounds like murder to me
and im like 99.9% sure that murder is illegal

ballon: jesus christ mike i didnt mean murder him
i meant like
beat him up and threaten him

mika: o

jish: its a good plan actually
i vote we do it

tlyler: we march at midnight

tray: this is... scarier than i thought
he could kill us
i mean
he has a gun collection

brebdob: wait what

ran: yea um what

tray: oh
yeah
he has a gun collection
i saw it

gegard: and u didnt mention that before because??

tray: idk i just didnt think it was important

france: u didnt think it was important to mention a colection of deadly weapons owned by a psychotic man we are planning to kidnap and threaten 

tray: no

mouse: anything else u didnt think it was important to mention that could actually get us all killed

tray: well theres some swords on the wall
and ninja stars
and im prtety sure i saw a flamethrower 
and even a bear trap

milky: dear lord were all gonna die

tray: ha just kidding theres no sword or flamethrower or ninja stars
but there is a bear trap i saw it

tlyler: well its a good thing were not bears 

Chapter Text

mika: houston we have a fucking problem

milky: i was waiting for this
lemme guess
a. someone got hurt
b. someone got arrested
c. someone is being held hostage by shady truck dude
d. all of the above

ballon: its actually option e. none of the above
everythings fine why are u all panicking so much

gegard: were panicking bc u made the plan
tell me dallon  when do ur plans ever work out

ballon: never
but thats okay
dont stop believing 

tray: hold on to that feeeelinnnnng
streetlight people wooOHOHoHhhH

france: dont stop believin
hold ooNnNnNNNNNnnn

mika: can we not
and actually dallon everything is not fine
our plan of action was for me to get billie to my house
that doesnt quite work wheN BILLIE HAS COMPLETELY FUCKING VANISHED

tlyler: tf u mean hes vanished 
a person cannot vanish michael

mika: i mean tyler
hes g o n e
hes not anywhere and he wont asnwer his phone ive been tring for h o u r s

jish: where did u last have him

brebdob: retrace ur footsteps and u might find him

ran: did u try turning it off and on again

mouse: ryan.. no

france: someone pls explain why gerard literally just turned his phone off and on

milky: bc he follows orders unlike u delinquents 

tray: mikey dont act like ur better than us u shit

mika: and once again something serious is happening and no one cars hahaha funny

gegard: i dont know why i turned my phone off and on im sorry 

tray: ill check billies house if u want

mouse: dont step in the bear trap

tlyler: its okay ray hes not a bear it cant hurt him

ran: tyler im not sure u understand the concept of bear traps

tlyler: im not sure u understand the concept of keeping ur mouth shut

brebdob: im not sure u understand the concept of not being rude to literally everyone

jish: im not sure u understand the concept of being nice to tyler

ballon: im not sure u understand the concept of not attackng brendon for being slightly mean. like not even that mean. on a mean scale its like 2/10.

mika: im not sure u understad the concept of payING ATTENTON TO THE FACT THAT BILLIE IS M I S S I N G AND ALL U BUTTWANKS ARE DOING IS ARGUING LIKE THE DUMB 6 YEAR OLDS U ARE AND WE SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON THE PLAN OR AT LEAST MAKING A NEW PLAN TO ACTUALLU GO AND FIND MISSING BILLIE BUT NOOO U GUYS ARE ALL ASSHOLES WHEN IT COMES TO TAKING THINGS SERIOUSLY I SWEAR TO GOD I MIGHT AS WEL DEAL WITH THE ENTIRE CHATS PROBLEMS BY MYSELF AT LEAST THEN WE MIGHT ACTUALLY MAKE SOME PROGRESS AND ACTUALLY GET SOMEWHERE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 10 MILLENNIA OKAY THATS IT FROM NOW ON IM IN CHARGE I DECIDE WHO DOES WHAT AND WHO GOES WHERE AND MAYBE JUST M A Y B E WE MAKE IT THROUGH THIS ALOVE AND WE GET BILLIE BACK
holy shit i went a little off the rails there 

tray: that was exhilerating 

brebdob: whoa watch out for battle commander mike dirnt

 

- france changed mika's nickname to battle commander mike dirnt

 

gegard: i just saw a rlly nice picture of a cat and i teared up a little
but yes mike i totally agree lets stay on track

mouse: okay so what do we do now

tray: im going to billies house to see if hes there

france: can i come too

tray: no

france: too bad im already at ur house waiting

mouse: tre how are u gonna check and not get spotted by shady truck dude

tray: well idk i havent thought that far
maybe ill just sneak in through the window

milky: or u could knock on the door like a normal person and just hope its billie who answers

ballon: yea but mikey what if billie doesnt answer the door
what if STD answers and takes tre and frank captive and everuthing goes to shit what do we do then huh mikey see look what u caused by being "normal" look what u done did

france: STD
might wanna think that through a little more carefully 

ballon: ???
STD - shady truck dude

brebdob: dallon homey no
*honey omg

mouse: petition to make homey a valid term of endearment 

milky: signed

battle commander mike dirnt: okay so tre and frank go to billies house
if he isnt there what do we do

france: jfc mike well burn that bridge when we get to it

gegard: ooh can i come too
i feel like u should have backup ya feel me
like tre and frank check the back and me and a volunteer covers the front

milky: i volunteer 

battle commander mike dirnt: it rlly doesnt have to be this complicated u guys

ran: yes it does mike we must take this very seriously

tray: k well were settig off now ig well meet u guys somehwere 

brebdob: if we dont find billie i vote we still beat the shit out of STD

tlyler: ;ets stop callig him that pls

 

- france renamed the group THE WAR ON STD

 

gegard: that sounds like a short fulm they show in schools to prevent unprotected sex

mouse: ill go look around the streets for our small goblin friend

ran: are we still calling him that
also count me in i wanna feel useful 

tray: me and the squad are closing in on billies house
gerard mikey take the font
frank come w/ me

france: u dont have to message the entire chat we are literally right here next to u

brebdob: keep us lazy fucks who are still at home updated on the action

milky: k well the house looks empty thats unnerving 
im going in the window

mouse: miKEY NO WTF THATS ILLEGAL

milky: so is child abuse ray
someone has to do something

mouse: yea and im sure breaking into the house is going to stop STD from being an ass

milky: its not breaking in if the windows left open

jish: holy shit i just got chills
hes so inspirational gerard whered u get him from

gegard: i got him in a half price sale 

france: i can see the bear trap from here its so Sharp™ and Pointy™

jish: reminder: dont step in it

tray: what kind of fuccking idiot would step in a bear trap when its so easy to see 

france: oh mY FUCING GOD TRE JUST WALKED RIGHT IBTO THE BEAR TRAP BC HE WASNT LOOKING WHERE HE WAS GOING BC HE WAS TOO BUSY TEXTING THAT HE WOULDNT GET TRAPPED IN A BEAR TRAP IM FREAKING OUT THERES SO MUCH BLOOD

battle commander mike dirnt: TRE JESUS CHRST 

tlyler: the bear trap trapped him that only means one thing
tre cool is a bear confirmed 

france: IM FREAKING OUT OH MAN THERES SO MUCH BLOOD
I CAN SEE HIS BONE 

tray: MYT HABDNS AR SHAAKNIG S O BADD I CAM BAERLY TUPE BUFT ayYY LMAO THGAT WA S SICK

france: okay hes currently singing deepthroat by cupcakke to get trhough the pain i think hell be fine

gegard: HA OMG I TOLD MIKEY ABOUT THE TRAP AND HE FREAKED OUT SO BAD THAT HE FELL OUT IN THE WINDOW AND SCREAMED SO LOUD THEN HE REALISED ITS ONLY LIKE A FOOT DROP

milky: jesus christ im sorry i panicked about tre literally getting caught in a bear trap
but i dont think billies here 
with all the screaming and singing he would have come outsude by now right

battle commander mike dirnt: Fuck™

ballon: u know u been in this chat too long when tre gets caught in a bear trap and ur just like "lol classic tre"

brebdob: maybe everyone should just go home and try again tomorrow

ran: U GUYS GUESS WHAT
WE FOUND BILLIE
HES RIGHT HERE W/ ME AND RAY

battle commander mike dirnt: WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK

mouse: hE SAID HE WEMT OUT TO GET AN ENERGY DRINK BUT HE COULDNT FIND A STORE THAT SOLD THE FLAVOR HE LIKES SO HE BASICALLY JUST WENT ALL AROUND TOWN AND HE LEFT HS PHONE BEHIND

battle commander mike dirnt: THAT LIL SHIT IM GONNA KILL HIM

france: how do we explain tre getting caught in a bear trap w/out giving away The Great Secret™

tlyler: just tell him tre got hit by a car idfk

mouse: oops lmao i kind of already said he got stuck in a bear trap

milky: waw nice one ray 
did u also tell him we broke into his house

mouse: no do u want me to

milky: nO WTF

mouse: then drop the attitude 

milky: :O

gegard: im going home
this is enough excitemnt for an entire year

ran: tag urself in todays iconic events
im tre getting caught in a bear trap and singing deepthroat by cupcakke to get through the pain

gegard: im billie creating a panic bc he went on an adventure to find the good energy drink flavor 

ballon: im the despair and disappointment at failing again

battle commander mike dirnt: oH OKAY

Chapter Text

mouse: now tres out of the hospital can we finally work on a decent plan pls
the longer std lives the longer my hatrred for him grows

milky: that doesnt make sense also murder is illegal

brebdob: DALLON DROPPED HIS PHONE IN THE TOILET AND CRIED 
wait murder is illegal??

ballon: jokes on u brendon i cry all the time anyway

brebdob: bc ur a pussy

ballon: that makes u a pussyfucker

ran: that makes brendon... stRAIGHT?

gegard: BRENDONS STRAIGHT BRENDONS STRAIGHT BRENDONS STRAIGHT

brebdob: nO IM NOT TAKE IT BACK

gegard: brendon son we need to talk

jish: burrendon 
u know what happens to straghetti people right
they go to h*ll

brebdob: ive been called many things joshua
but never burrendon
what the fuck

battle commander mike dirnt: also what the fuck is a 'straghetti'

tlyler: its what we call the straights 

battle commander mike dirnt: o

 

- tray renamed the group burrendons a straghetti

 

- tray changed brebdob's nickname to burrendon

 

france: good ol tre
hes back

gegard: billie says he has a funny story can iadd him bacl

jish: nO 
IF U WANT TO MAKE PEACE WITH TEH TRAITOR DO IT SOMEWHERE ELSE

 

- jish removed gegard from burrendons a straghetti

 

tlyler traitor?
what did he do 

jish: he burned my crops and killed my cows

tlyler: jeez what a bitch

milky: why are u 2 so fucking weird
im adding him

battle commander mike dirnt: leT ME DELETE ALL THE MESSAGES MIKEY JESUS 

tray: wait one more thing
no 2 more things
1. these pain meds are some Good Shit™
2. what excatly are we gonna do about std

mouse: murder him

milky: das illegal

mouse: oop

france: why are u talking about std its giving mik mroe stuff to delete

 

- tray changed battle commander mike dirnt's nickname to mik

 

jish: plan: tell the cops std is a fuckhead

ballon: problem; the cops are useless and dont care

burrendon: plan: dont tell the cops and just fuck him up

mouse: plan: kiLL HIM

milky: RAY THAT IS ILLEGAL

mik: u guYS ARE NOT MAKING THIS EASY FOR ME

france: but what are we gonna do
ur our battle commander its up to u to tell us what to do

mik: im retired im not a battle commander
now shut up

 

- mik added gegard to burrendons a straghetti

 

- mik added bongjong to burrendons a straghetti

 

gegard: fuck u josh

jish: fuck billie

bongjong: fuck off
wait is this about the crops and the cows
im sorry

milky: wait what
that was a legit story? 

bongjong: im not proud of what i did
those cows deserved better
but my own crops were failing and i needed to make a blood sacrifice

ran: okay im a little confused and a little scared

france: arent we all

burrendon: its called growing up 

jish: growing up is not a valid excuse for kiLLING MY PRIZE COW

tlyler: jeez what a bitch

mik: tyler shut up

tray: BILLIE UR BACK 

bongjong: TRE UR ALIVE
is the bear trap okay
wait how did u even step in a bear trap

ran: haha fuck we didnt think this through

bongjong: ??

tray: well it all started i was 7 right
i always wanted to go to england

france: oh yeah the england story right ha i forgot that

bongjong: what does england have to do with a bear trap i

tlyler: bear traps are made in england dont u know

gegard: yeah so there was this english breast trap right

mik: breast trap what

ran: whoa i just had a stroke of genius
breast trap = booby trap = THE BEAR TRAP WAS A BOOBY TRAP

mouse: what an interesting and completely useless bit of information thanks ryan

burrendon: WAIT
WHAT IF U KNOW WHO BOOTY TRAPPED HIS HOUSE BC HE KNEW WE WOULD GO THERE???????????????????????

mik: brenDON SHUT UP

gegard: ha booty trap

bongjong: who
whos u know who

mouse: voldemort 

bongjong: okay i forgot how fucking weird this chat is
anyway tre answer me
how did u step in a bear trap

ballon: its kind of a long story billie get comfortable 

bongjong: okay let me just get onto a comfier branch

mik: branch?? like a tree brancH?

bongjong: yes

mik: but.. why are u in a tree

bongjong: im high and scared and hiding

ballon: ah the usual

tray: so there was an english bear trap

bongjong: in england?

tray: yes there was a bear trap

bongjong: but was it in england

tray: no it was in nebraska

bongjong: why were u in nebraska

burrendon: i wanted to visit the friends i made when i ran away there

bongjong: oh
so there was  a bear trap?

tray: yea in nebraska

bongjong: an english bear trap in nebraska?

tray: yea there was a english bear trap in nebraska

mouse: wow im sure glad we cleared that up

tray: so there was an eglish bear trap in nebraska
it was keeping the bears away i think

bongjong: i didnt know there are bears in nebraska

tray: there isnt

bongjong: so why was there a bear trap

tray: it was a booby trap

milky: is anyone else completely lost rn
i mean
i think nebraska has bears??

mik: this is the worst story u ever told anyone ever tre this is so bad 

tray: im not finished????

tlyler: well i for one wanna know what billies funny story is

bongjong: in a minute tyler in a minute
i need to know about the bears in nebraska

tray: there are no bears in nebraska

bongjong: so why was there a bear trap in nebraska

tray: yes it was in nebraska 

gegard: watching tre and billie have a conversation while theyre both high as shit will forver be my favorite thing

france: YES THERE ARE BEARS IN NEBRASKA AND YES THERE WAS A BEAR TRAP IN NEBRASKA 
continue

tray: so i was in nebraska and there was a bear trap

bongjong: why were u in nebraska

ballon: oh my god i want to shoot someone right now
tre how about u tell billie the nebraska bear trap story when u see him and also when none of us are there to suffer though it

mik: good idea
now 
billie
whats ur stry
and why are u in a tree

bongjong: am high and scared 
and hiding from the straunge old lady

milky: yea uh were gonna need details abt that

bongjong: i think a gypsy cursed me?
im not sure the details are a little mixed up

gegard: why would a gypsy curse u

jish: why would a gypsy curse anyone
why is the sky blue
why did billie kill my prize cow

mouse: josh wher did u get a cow from anywa

jish: the farm

france: ooh the farm
farm boys

ran: remember when i was a farm boy
now im just ran

bongjong: i think she was upset about me hiding in her tree

tlyler: so u hid in her tree before she cursed u?

bongjong: yeah im hiding in a tree
a gypsy cursed me

france: i dont think were gonna get answers from him today
maybe tomorrow
what im saying is plEASE STOP THIS MADNESS 

bongjong: anyway tre u didnt tell me why u were in nebraska

france: oH MY GOD IM OUT NO GOODBYE
WAKE ME UP WHEN NO ONES TALKING ABOUT NEBRAKSA OR BEAR TRAPS

tray: when was i in nebraska

bongjong: idk u said u were in nebraska

tray: yes i was in nebraska

bongjong: why were u in nebraska

tray: there was a bear trap

bongjong: in nebraska?

tray: yea there was an english bear trap

bongjong: an english bear trap?

tray: yea a bear trap

bongjong: where was it

tray: in nebraska

tray: yea there was a bear trap in nebraska

bongjong: an english bear trap?

tray: yea it was english

bongjong: but it was in nebraska?

tray: yea it was in nebraska

ballon: is this how serial killers are made
i think this is how serial killers are made

Chapter Text

- bongjong left burrendons a straghetti

 

mik: why he leave again

tray: listen up fuckers
and by fuckers i mainly mean mike but this kind of concerns the rest of u too so yea fuckers means all of u 
@ mike: billies gonna break up w/ u bc std is forcing him to bc he found out about u and him doing the do 
@ everyone else: std is also making billie stop talking to us

mik: tre were in a committed relationship we dont just do the do
i mean we do do the do a LOT but still
wait wtf 

ballon: ha
do do the do

gegard: what the fuck is wrong with u unholy fucks
its half 3 in the morNING i was asLEEP

milky: gerard u were literally watching porn 2 seconds ago

gegard: no i wasnt shut up

burrendon: is fraction cool with u watching porn
*frank
its half 3 im tired dont judge me

 

- tlyler changed france's nickname to fraction

 

fraction: the sound of my nickname being changed summoned me what are u unholy fucks doing at such an ungodly hour

mouse: gerard and frank both called us unholy fucks #relationshipgoals

gegard: yea fransk cool w/ me watching porn

milky: wait frank ur phone makes a different sound when someone changes ur nickname

fraction: yes

ballon: how

fraction: science 

tray: guys
something serious is happening rn 
if u could all direct ur attention @ me that would be gr8

ran: why is everyone up at half 3 
also i just blinded myself with my phone light lets start a trend on twitter #prayforrayn

jish: ryan are u aware u misspelled ur own name

ran: no i didnt???
wait yes i did????
fuck???

 

- tlyler changed ran's nickname to rayn

 

fraction: yes lets pray for rain
its been such a long drought 
my crops are failing my children are starving and grandchildren are dying like flies 
my wife is too weak to move from her bedchamber 
why does the almighty lord see fit to punish us so

milky: gerad why is ur boyfriend so fucking weird

gegard: lack of sleep + 17 energy drinks + he hit his head on the ceiling earlier

ballon: how did frank hit his head on the ceiling when hes literallythe shortest person here

fraction: i was standing on 20 mattresses duh dallon 

mouse: but why

fraction: science 

tray: although i am very happy ur all in good spirits tonoght
we haVE A VERY REAL AND VERY SERIOSU PROBLEM THAT COULD END UP W/ BILLIE GETTING MURDERED 

rayn: wait what

mik: while u were all having a nice midnight conversation tre told me std found out about me and billie and is forcing him to break up with me
so maybe thats something u guys can help sort out??????

burrendon: its not midnight its actually like 3:45 now so 

mik: brendon i dont give a diddly damn what time it is 

burrendon: :o

milky: im up and dressed already lets go kill std

rayn: i second that

mouse: i third that

tlyler: why are u unholy fucks so quick to murder 

mouse: thats the 3rd time weve been called unholy fucks in 15 minutes

jish: lets make it Official™

 

- jish renamed the group the unholy fucks

 

ballon: lets make it Scary™

 

- ballon renamed the group the unholy fucks biker gang

 

tlyler: lets make it Terrifying™

 

- tlyler renamed the group the unholy fucks outlaw biker gang

 

tray: snazzy
anyway
down to business

rayn: pls dont say snazzy tre

tray: s n a z z y

rayn: ur tearing this family apart

mik: if none of u unholy fucks will listen then maybe ill go take out std by myself 

gegard: no mike it sthe unholy fucks outlaw biker gang 
at least get it right jesus christ

jish: okay i actyally wanna know whats going on now so shut up u asshats 

tray: okay billie still belives im the only one who knows the truth about std so he occasionally tells me stuff
and he called me and aske me to meet him and he sounded SAD so i did and he was so sad it was sad i was sad
and he said that std somehow found out about him and mike and now std is making billie break up with mike 
and std is also making billie stop talking to us bc he thinks we "turned" him gay

burrendon: silly std billies always been gay 

jish: and billies actually agreeing to that???

tray: well yeah

jish: why the fuck

tray: josh idk if u remember but std is an abusive psycho who will literallly beat the shit billie if he doenst do what he says  

milky: the time has come for us to be men 
not boys
mEN
we must fIGHT 
wel not literally fight bc hes big and scary but u know what i mean

fraction: the only one of us who even has a plan is dallon

ballon: ha u unholy fucks that means u jave to listen to me now

burrendon: im with dallon
we have to kidnap std and take him far away
maybe canada

mouse: were not kidnapping a man and dumpiung him in canada

burrendon: okay nebraksa

fraction: lets not talk about nebraska pls

mik: ray i have to disagree
we are definitely kidnapping a man and dumping him in canada

tray: when

gegard: tonight
we keep putting this off
but it has to be done

tlyler: its already night tho greg???
oh yh lmao my phone keep correcting gerard to greg for some reason

 

- rayn changed gegard's nickname to greg

 

greg: okay tomorro w night then idk fuck
and i dont appreciate being called greg bt w

mouse: abd if we get arrested?

tray: u guys can all meet dildo dave

rayn: rad i always wanted to meet him he seems like such a swell dude

jish: who tf says swell

rayn: i tf say swell

milky: okay but what if we get killed

tlyler: we come back as ghosts and watch over our good friend billie 

ballon: see everypne wins in the end
kind of

mouse: fine looks like were kidnapping a man and dumping him in canada

mik: should we like work out whos doing what

fraction: well im currently eating cereal 

milky: its like 4am why the fuck

mik: thanks for sharing frank bjt i meant whos doing what 
and how is evertting gonna work exactly

fraction: oh right 
lets leave that up to dallon

ballon: okay well fuck u
but i already thought this through and i made a list
1. mike takes billie to his house and keeps him distracted (this part is cRUCIFIX so u 2 need to not have another argument okay)
2. tre steals a van it has to be one of those w/ the big space in the back
3. we all go to billies house in the van and then we all put on scary looking masks and knock on the door. tre u have to stay in the van 
4. we grab std and shove him in the back of the van and tie him to a chair with duct tape and rope and we cover his head w/ a bag and put headphones on him rlly loud
5. we drive to canada/nebraska/wherever and take him out of the van and idk threaten him or some shit just act scary
6. we come back and pretend everythinsg normal 

tray: wodnerful plan 10/10 but i cant steal the van or drive it my leg is broken
ill stay back w/ billie and mike as backup in case billie gets suspicious 

tlyler: tre ur fucking leg is the cause of most of our problems

jish: its actually not but i agree fuck tre and fuck his leg

milky: oh boy were actually doing this 
were actually kidnapping a man

greg: ill take up the job of tsealing a van
i saw billie do it like once

mik: if anyone fucks this up im gonna scream

burrendon: prepare for a lot of screaming then bc were the kings at fucking up

rayn: no were the unholy fucks outlaw biker gang

mouse: i felt a strange sense of pride while reading that
maybe we can do some good for once

ballon: hA in what kind of scenario would that happen

jish: an unrealistic one

Chapter Text

greg: hey what if a dudes surname was doctor and he became a doctor hed be called dr doctor

rayn: gerard u should be stealing a van for us not talking aboyt doctors

greg: okay but consider this
im actually pretty terrified right now 
and i already have a van ryan dont assume shit u dont know

jish: i have masks and rope and duct tape and handcuffs 

burrendon: we dont need to hear about urs and tylers sex life josh 

jish: fuck off brendon i meant for the plan

burrendon: oH nvm then

ballon: i know this was my plan but i regret every second of this

mik: houston we have a fucking problem

milky: oh my gOD WERE NOT EVEN LEFT YET AND ALREADY SOMEONE FUCKED UP
I BET IT WAS BRENDON

burrendon: MIKEY GO AND FUCK AN ONCOMING TRAIN
I DIDNT DO ANYTHING

ballon: mikey stop accusing brendon of everything  that goes wrong hes not perfect but hes trying

burrendon: <3

milky: is he tho

burrendon: u know what mikey how about u go fuck TWO oncoming trains
considering ur relationship w/ pete wentz isnt working out

rayn: oh my god savage lvl 100

milky: well at least i never cheated on 2 people at the same time 

greg: mikEY WHAT THE FUCK STOP IT

burrendon: bitCH I WILL KICK U IF U BRING THAT SHIT UP AGAIN

ballon: mikey pls thats in the past lets not

mik: so does no one care about ouR VERY REAL PROBLEM

tray: hi 
whoa
brikey drama 

greg: ??

tray: u know
brikey??
brendon+mikey

fraction: whats the problem mike 

mik: the plan is for me and tre to keep billie at my house right
how the fuck are we supposed to do that when billie isnt talking to any of us

ballon: oh yea i kinda foghorn about that

rayn: foghorn

tlyler: FOGHORN

 

- tlyler renamed the group FOGHORN

 

greg: its fine we can do it anyway

mik: no were not

fraction: wE HAVE BEEN THROUGH TOO MUCH TO GIVE UP NOW MICHAEL 

burrendon: i refuse to be part of somethings mikeys part of

milky: i also refuse

rayn: oH MY GOD STOP BOTH OF U

jish: honesty mikey fuck u

milky: its not my fault wtf

ballon: it kind of is

burrendon: theres no "kind of"
this is literally all ur fault mikey 

milky: u told me to fuck an oncoming train

burrendon: u blamed the problems on me

tray: heres an idea: ALL OF U SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET ON WITH WHAT UR SUPPOSED TO BE DOING AND ME AND MIKE WILL CONVINCE BILLIE TO COME HANG WITH US

greg: excelletnt idea i agree

burrendon: only if mikey fucks the fuck off

milky: no why dont u fuck the fuck off

greg: miKEY FUCKING STOP IT OMG

mouse: i turn my phone on to 500000000 notifications 
mikey what the fuck are u doing stop causing drama

milky: whY IS EVERYONE BLAMING ME WAAT THE FUCK

burrendon: BECAUSE UR BEING A FUCKING IMBECILE 
FUCKIN BLAMING ME FOR SHIT I DIDNT EVEN DO 
FUCK OFF

milky: JFC SORRY OKAY BUT ITS USUALLY U WHO FUCKS IT UP

ballon: mikey wtf no its not

burrendon: when this std deal is over im gonna fucking beat ur ass boi

milky: yea if u can manage 

tray: u guys are rlly gonna start an argument?
are u serous?
right in front of my salad??

mouse: what the fuck is happening 
also tre leave the salad meme out of the chat please

tray: no ur not my real dad

fraction: i knew something would go wrong
i fucking knew

 

- fraction removed milky from FOGHORN

 

fraction: he can come back when he learns to behave

tlyler: so
do u guys always cause uncontrollable chaos whenever theres important work to do

mik: yea its kind of our thing
one time mikey got his phone confiscated and we tried to get it back
but that ended in me billie and brendon getting arrested and having to go to court and everything

jish: waIT I REMEMBER THAT
U GUYS KICKED THE PRINCIPALS DOOR IN AND STOLE A PHONE AND GOT CHARGED WITH BREAKING AND ENTERING CRIMINAL DAMAGE AND THEFT
THAT WAS SO FUNNY

rayn: THAT WAS U GUYS??

burrendon: yea lmao it was wild

tray: and then billie and brendon got put under house arrest but they both went to gerards lemon party anyway 

rayn: gerards what

greg: my lemon party
basically it was a sleepover but then frank said we needed 12 lemon to go
and yea it kind of turned into a lemon party there were lemons eveRYWHERE

ballon: thats how i joined the squad

jish: thats a beautoful story 
i shed my skin

mouse: what the fuck josh

jish: *shed a tear

fraction: how can u fuck up that bad josh how

tlyler: josh is a snake confirmed

tray: snosh (snake josh)

 

- mouse changed jish's nickname to snosh

 

snosh: amazing
i shed another skin
*TEAR 

mik: SNAKE AND JOSH
get it
like drake and josh but with snakes

 

- burrendon renamed the group snake and josh: like drake and josh but with snakes

 

tlyler: im kind of sad i msised the lemon party it sounded rad

greg: it was
well have another one sometime

rayn: im sad i missed all the good times
what other cool shit did i miss

fraction: u missed brendon shove tyler down the stairs and then run away to nebraska fro a week

ballon: why are we talking about old times when we should be preparing for kidnpping std

tray: bc we probably wont have any good times after tonight

mik: why tf not

tray: face it were not getting out of this without getting in deep deep DEEP shit
we might not be a squad for much longer

snosh: dear lord thats depressing

fraction: im adding mikey back
im scared

 

- fraction added milky to snake and josh: like drake and josh but with snakes

 

milky: finally u fuckwits
i thought about my actiosn
and id like to say
i stILL DONT SEE HOW THAT WAS MY FAULT

burrendon: literally fucking eat a pinecone

milky: shove a pinecone up ur ass
actually no u would prooably like that

burrendon: i would tbh

mouse: gross
are the arguments over now

burrendon: one more thing
dont blame the problems on me again u little bitch mikey

mik: oH MY GOD brendon stOP

burrendon: fine im done

greg: im already in the van btw 
waiting for u fuckers to hurry up and get over here

snosh: coem pick us up

greg: no i cant drive

ballon: whale 

mouse: dallon what

tray: yeS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS IM SO GOOD AT THIS GAME
killer whale
sperm whale
blue whale
humpback whale
beluga whale
narwhal
fin whale
gray whale
north atlantic right whale
southern right whale
sei whale
short finned pilot whale
bowhead whale
common minke whale

mik: tre no offence but what the actual fuck are u doing

tray: playin the game??? duh

greg: whta game
are we playng a game

milky: no??

tray: yes we are mikey were playing the game that dallon started

ballon: i didnt start th game wtf
what game is it

tray: u said whale so we have to list all the types of whale

fraction: oH i love this game!!!!
spade toothed whale
strap toothed whale
northern bottle nose whale
brydes whale

tlyler: this isnt fair i dont know anyhing about whales what the fuck
wAIT YES I DO
THE WHALE IN FINDING DORY
i think it was a whale idk

snosh: ooh i rmember when we watched that
u almost cried when she lost her parents

tlyler: hey if brendons allowed to cry at tom cruise im allowed to cry at dory

ballon: okay idk what u guys are doing but im not playing the fucking whale game??????????

rayn: but u said whale

ballon: whale
*what

greg: oH U MEANT TO SAY WHAT

tray: damn i was winning as well

fraction: this isnt the first time dallons illiterateness started a game about whales

ballon: guys
u dont have to bring up my infidelity every time i misspell something

mik: okay
lets start new okay
okay 

milky: u just said okay 3 times 

mik: okay?

mouse: yes lets start fresh
gerard has a van + he cant drive = a problem
mike and tre have to keep billie distracted + billies not talking to us = another problem
so
2 problems = this isnt gonna work 
sorry i dont make the rules

snosh: so what ur saying is we need a new plan

ballon: NO
I PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO THIS PLAN
MY BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS WENT INTO THIS PLAN
WERE NOT GIVIING UP ON IT
WE CAN DO IT
WE ARE THE UNHOLY FUCKS OUTLAW BIKER GANG AND WE WILL KILL STD

rayn: dal we talked abou this
murder is illegal and well go to jail if we kill him

milky: hear me out a sec guys
i have a plan b in case dallons plan doesnt work

ballon: okay but it will work i can feel it in my ass

milky: well in case it doesnt
heres my plan b:
we actually murder std 

greg: mikEY THIS IS NOT THE PERSON I RAISED U TO BE

tray: exciting
then u can all meet dildo dave hes a rlly nice guy when u get to know him 

milky: no we wont meet dildo dave because we wont get caught
now listen
1. we kill std idc how im not fussy
2. we burn his body
3. we throw his bones in the river or bury them in the woods
4. we go on with life

burrendon: gerard u brother scares me sometimes

greg: mikey wtf were not killing anyone

mouse: i admit its a good plan
but no

rayn: can u imagine if we actually do kill him
then in 10 years his burnt bones will get discovered and well all be reunited as we attempt to not get found out
and well be doing really good until some cop whos way smarter than he looks finds out some evidence 
and then we start getting caught one by one
and maybe one of us doesnt get caught but what kind of life will they have knowing their entire squad is behind bars and theyre not
man that would be shit
no we cant kill him we cant
do u guys hear me we caNT KILL HIM ITS WRONG

tlyler: u rlly had to make up an entire movie plot to realise murder is wrong

milky: fine no murder

ballon: and what exactly would we tell billie
"hey we murdered ur stepdad and hid his burnt bones ur welcome pls dont call the cops were not insane"

tray: thats exactly what we tel him

ballon: nO
were sticking to my plan whether u buttwanks like it or not
but seeing as weve wasTED SO MUCH GDODAMN TIME TONIGHT
looks like were doing it tomorrow nigt instead 

mik: at least that gives me an extra day to convince billie to talk to me 

tray: or u know
we could kidnap him and tie him up

fraction: trE NO

Chapter Text

mik: phase 1 complete
i mean we totally fucked it up but weve got billie talking to us

tray: i now have 2 broken legs

ballon: h o w
ur job was to talk to billie
wtf did u do

milky: im also confused
how does talking to billie end in tre breaking his other leg

mik: okay thinking back its actually funny as shit
i chased billie bc he ran away from us and i accidentally ran in front of like 29 cars 
and they all swerved away so they didnt hit me and tre was half running half hopping behind me
and he got hit by 1 car then stood up and got hit by another car and then stood up again and got hit by anOTHER car lol

greg: honestly i love how u added "lol" on the end of explaining how ur best friend got hit by 3 cars

burrendon: its on the news btw
theyre saying  u guys caused a car accident

rayn: wait im watchig that too
hA THEY SHOWED THE SECURITY CAMERA FOOTAGE 
TRE IM SCREAMING U FLIPPED THE DRIVER OFF AS SHE HIT U

tray: i flipped all 3 drivers off actually
fuck them 

tlyler: tre wtf how are u not dead

tray: idk lol

mouse: i promise i care that tre got hit by 3 cars but shouldnt we be focusing on the plan

greg: hello i am here to present u with yet another problem: the van i stole got towed this morning oops

ballon: fuCKING SUCK A DICK GERARD

fraction: yes gerard i agree suck a dick ;)

greg: i feel attacked :(
steal ur own vans from now on dallon 
actually no i wanna do it

burrendon: i love that
"hello i am here to present u with yet another problem" 

rayn: isnt that ur life story brendon

burrendon: um choke on a dick

rayn: gladly ;)

ballon: can u guys maybe behave??

snosh: i still have masks and rope and shit
so if u think about it im the most helpful one here right now

mik: guys pls dont fuck it up this time
tre literally almost died for this

tray: it was sick tho

mik: ur not supposed to celebrate almost dying

tray: um excuse me do u make the rules

mik: yes
anyway
all of u better be being useful

mouse: im going with geard to get the van that counts as  being useful

greg: why can none of u ever get my name right

burrendon: gared u have no right to complain about people getting ur name wrong

greg: GARED? 

fraction: cmon guys stop being mean to guard

rayn: frank i think u spelled grid wrong

greg: WE HAVE STUFF DO TO LETS STOP 

burrendon: were kind fo waiting on u to steal a van

greg: o rite
ill do it rn

mouse: ill keep u guys updated

greg: ur supposed to be helping me

mouse: i am ill do the driving part

greg: k

mik: while u guy s do ur illegal shit tres gettin his leg plastered

ballon: imma draw a massive dick on his cast

snosh: but.. why

ballon: idk just feels like the right thing to do

tray: give me all the dick

fraction: u whore tre

tlyler: considering were all waiting around doing fuck all rn
now would be a good time to tell a funny story

snosh: no fuck off u said u wouldnt tell them

tlyler: surprise i lied
anyway
yesterday me and josh were asked to not return to dairy queen

snosh: actually idgaf if u tell them it was hilarious 

mik: yea they dont like it when u have sex in the bathroom

tlyler: what
there was no sex in the bathrom???

mik: what
who said sex
i didnt have sex 
wh a t

mouse: is this why u and billie wouldnt come to dairy queen with us that  time

mik: maybe
anyway tyler was telling a story lets listen to tyler

tlyler: so we were just sittin there behaving
and josh poured his drink over the bottom of his shirt somehow
and it looked kind of like he pissed on himself so he tucked it in

snosh: im wheezing as i remember this
but also cringing
mostly cringing

tlyler: and then we were getting up to leave and suddenly the whole fuckin table came wiith us bc josh tucked the table cloth into his pants 
and yea sure that was funny and everyone was staring 
but then it got worse

rayn: i just inhaled an entire pop tart and almost choked

tray: choke me daddy

mik: trE

snosh: in my defence i panicked okay

tlyler: josh it wasnt even that bad of a situation 
all u had to do was untuck the table cloth and l e a v e
u didnt have to take ur pants off who does that what kind of savage are u

ballon: IM SCREECHING 
JOSH DID U LITERALLY TAKE UR PANTS OFF

snosh: YES OKAY IM SORRY IVE MADE SOME MISTAKES IVE HAD A DIFFICULT LIFE

greg: IM YELLING WHAT THE FUCK JOSH

fraction: is that why u got banned

tlyler: no it gets worse still

rayn: h o w

tlyler: he then decided to leave his pants on the floor and wrap the table cloth around himself?????????????/
honestly im still shooketh over this

ballon: josh why
what made u think thats a good idea

milky: wait
how long have dairy queen had tablecloths

fraction: TAHTS ur main concern here?

mik: i dont think even tre did anythig like this

tray: i am young mike give me time ill make u proud

fraction: i believe in u tre

greg: i have a van rays driving
whoever this person is they have nice music taste

burrendon: WAIT
DO U HAVE UR MASKS ON

mouse: no?

burrendon: PIT TEHM ON JFC

greg: brendon do u have any idea how suspicodu that will look
just 2 guys driving around in masks
very suspicous

milky: but if u put ur masks on the cops wont know who u are

mouse: there arent any cops tho mikey 

milky: not yet...

rayn: whaT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN
THAT SOUNDS LIKE UR ABOUT TO BETRAY US AND CALL THE COPS
BEGONE TRAITOR

 

- rayn removed milky from snake and josh: like drake and josh but with snakes

 

tlyler: ryan no what are u doing

rayn: my best

greg: mikey isnt a traitor u guys 

 

- greg added milky to snake and josh: like drake and josh but with snakes

 

mouse: we just pulled up in billies yard

ballon: about fucking time ray weve been waiting for HOURS

burrendon: dallon its been 10 minutes

ballon: like i said
HOURS

mik: just behave and wait patiently and dont do anything weird

fraction: give us an example of weird

mik: dont do anything u usually do

fraction: oh
okay then

milky: std boutta get FUCKED 

tray: the fucker becomes the fucked

 

- burrendon renamed the group episode 67: the fucker becomes the fucked

 

snosh: oh are we on episode 67 already

mik: yes
time flies when ur having fun

milky: who said were having fun

burrendon: oh im sorry do u have anywhere better to be

milky: yes 
i could be at home watching netflix and not breaking 72 laws

rayn: dont act like a good boy mikey u were the one who suggested literal murder

fraction: remember kids
if u have doubts, murder is always an option

greg: is that a fucking comma

ballon: whats a comma

burrendon: dallon buddy this is why ur failng english

ballon: am not failing engflig 

mouse: "engflig"

mik: oh mY GOD HURRY UP PLS OUR HOSPITAL TRIP ENDED SOONER THAN WE PLANNED BILLIE IS NO LONGER DISTRACTED HES GOING HOME

greg: this is Bad™ oh no were parked in his yard and were all wearing masks waiting for std this is terrible jfc

rayn: gedardrdard i dont mean to alarm u but while u were fucking about on ur phone some guy walked over to us
breNDON SAYS ITS STD WHAT DO WE DO HES ASKING US WHAT WERE DOING

greg: uhhhHH GRAB HIM SHOVE HIM IN THE VAN TIE HIM UP IDK

tray: good luck my dudes 

tlyler: its okay josh punched him and knocked him out
wait no he didnt knock him out
now he knocked him out
he had to use a brick

mik: remember; no murder

snosh: oh dear lord theres Blood™
how hard did i hit him

tlyler: hard enough to dent his head 

mik: REMINDER: NO MURDER

burrendon: u know this chat is beyond fucked when u need to keep being reminded not to kill someone

milky: whAT THE FUCK HAVE U GUYS DONE

mouse: gods work

ballon: we stuck to the plan mikey
we kidnapped std 
we did a good thing

milky: u see dallon that would be the correct answer if u actualLY KIDNAPPED STD

mik: oh my god what the fuck have u dipshits done now

snosh: why does everyone assume the worst 
mikey quit being a knob and look in the back of the van
std is there

milky: I AM LOOKING IN THE BACK OF THE VAN AND IDK WHO THAT IS BUT ITS NOT STD

mik: pls tell me u guys didnt knock out and kidnap the wrong guy

burrendon: i think we did 

tray: well can u pls hurry up and kidnap the right person and then leave bc billie is litERALLY ON HIS WAY 

greg: how about we put mikey on std watch 

tray: std watch: a new show hosted by mikey way

 

- mouse renamed the group std watch by mikey way

 

ballon: id watch the shit out of that 

milky: wow amazing 
while were in the middle of a completely fucked up shit show of a plan u guys are still being jackasses

tlyler: completely fucked up shit show of a plan
i like that

 

- rayn renamed the group the completely fucked up shit show of a plan

 

milky: OKAY THE REAL STD IS HERE AND HE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHY TF THERE ARE A BUNCH OF TEENAGERS IN MASKS IN HSI YARD TRYING TO SHOVE WHAT LOOKS LIKE A DEAD BODY INTO A VAN
QUICK JOSH THROW A BRICK AT HIM

snosh: oh dear im out of bricks this is stressful 

tray: im getting anxiety just readingg these messages thank fuck my legs are broken

mik: pls do it right pls do it right

mouse: its okay gerard just fucking slammed the entire van into him 
and knocked down part of teh house lol
and now tyler and josh are tying him up 

burrendon: see mike we can do good things

mik: okay but u need to leave right now billies almost there
me and tre and sneaky sneak followng him

tlyler: how is tre following him

tray: with great difficulty
lmao i just fell over bc i was typing
ha fuck i fell over again

ballon: maybe stop typing >??

tray: um are u my real dad?

ballon: im everyones dad

fraction: daddy dallon

 

- rayn changed ballon's nickname to daddy dallon

 

daddy dallon: finally
a title to be respected
u must all refer to me as daddy now

snosh: okay well thats not happening

burrendon: i mean
i do already

tray: i only call 2 people daddy
the ex principal and tywin 

mik: u guys know tywins gonna be the new principla when we go back to school rright

tray: Excellent™

greg: Fuck™

mik: OAKY BILLIES LEGIT RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER YALL NEED TO LEAVE RIGHT FUCKING NOW 

mouse: GERARD THERS NO TIME FOR ME TO GET IN THE DRIVERS SEAT U HAVE TO DRIVE 

greg: i am Afraid™ this is so Scary™ 

daddy dallon: ITS OKAY WE BELLIVE IN U :)

greg: im driving u guys im driving
O DEAR OKAY WOW I JUST HIT SOMETHING

mik: IM CRYING
IM FUCKING CACKLING SO HARD
THERE ARE ACTUAL REAL TEARS ON MY FACE
GERARD U JUST HIT TRE WITH THE VAN

milky: oh my god ie he okay

tray: lol yea 
im gonna submit this to the world records place
i survuved getting hit by 4 different cars in one day

tlyler: im so proud of our son tre
hes so Strong™

tray: ty tyler ily

snosh: um can u kindly fuck off

fraction: okay so now we have std and a random stranger tied up in the back of the van what exactly are we doing with them

mik: idk just go dump them somewhere

tlyler: canada

greg: tre im so sorry omg 
and no tyler im not driving all the way to fucking canada

fraction: I HAVE A GOOD IDEA
okay so everyone text ur fave state and the one thats most mentioned is where we take std

milky: what if we all send different states

fraction: oh my god mikey shut up

greg: frank hes got a point

fraction: u can shut up too

greg: if u tell me to shut up again i swear to god ill turn this car around and well all go home

mik: pleae dont we kind of need to u drive away from town 

greg: someone tell me where im driving to and i will 

burrendon: NEBRASKA

tlyler: i also vote nebraska

snosh: same

mouse: fuck it lets go to nebraska
again

rayn: nebraska
were coming for ur ass

tray: nebrASSka

 

- daddy dallon renamed the group nebrASSka

Chapter Text

mik: okay im going over the rules again bc none of u hellions ever listen
1. DO NOT tell billie ANYTHING about what we did
2. DO NOT ask him ANYTHING about std 
3. please behave
4. please

burrendon: rule 4: please
i love that rule its my favorite

mik: brendon do u remember what i said about behaving

burrendon: no i didnt read any of the rules apart from rule 4: please

 

- fraction renamed the group rule 4: please

 

mik: okay brendon and frank are being deported from the chat

 

- mik removed burrendon from rule 4: please

 

- mik removed fraction from rule 4: please

 

greg: mike no give frank back

tray: gerard he didnt take him he just deported him

milky: mike u cant just deport someone from the chat

mik: i can if they dont follow the rules

rayn: I JUST LAUGHED SO HARD I FELL OVER ON THE STREET AND A WOMAN TRIPPED OVER ME AND SHES CONVINCED I "ASSAULTED" HER HELP ME
DALLON THIS IS ALL UR FAULT

daddy dallon: DONT FUCKING YELL OUTSIDE MY WINDOW THEN

snosh: i hate it when someone yells outside my window and then accidentally assaults a woman

mouse: are u going to explain what the fuck happened 

daddy dallon: RYAN WAS YELLING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SOME GREGORIAN CHANTS 

rayn: WHEN I YELL DOES IT SOUND LIKE GREGORIAN CHANTS BE HONEST

tray: well its more  a mix of gregorian chants and a distressed velociraptor

mouse: that sounds mildly horrifying 
ryan pls never yell ever

rayn: :(
okay so whens billie coming back

mik: when u all behave and agree to the rules

tlyler: yes fine whatever we agre to teh rules

mik: tyler is also deported from the chat

 

- mik removed tlyler from rule 4: please

 

snosh: miKE STOP DEPORTING EVEERYONE

 

- snosh added tlyler to rule 4: please

 

mik: attitude like taht will get u deported behave josh

snosh: :O

tray: mike ur overreacting wya too much all u have to do is delete any messages and badang lets go

greg: what is badang

mouse: i like badang
its got style

daddy dallon: rule 5: badang

mik: daddy no 

daddy dallon: dallon yes
wait what the fuck did u just call me daddy

mik: fuck off ur name confuses me

tlyler: rip mike 1900-2017

mik: i wasnt born in 1900 tyler ?

milky: CAN U JUST ADD BILLIE BACK PLS WE MISS HIM
and u should prob add brendon and frank back too ig  

tray: mike appears to be having a nervous breakdown so ill do it

 

- tray added bongjong to rule 4: please

 

- tray added burrendon to rule 4: please

 

- tray added fraction to rule 4: please

 

bongjong: whats up fuckers

fraction: ALL HAIL THE GOBLIN KING

 

- fraction changed bongjong's nickname to goblin king

 

mik: fraNK I SAID BEHAVE

fraction: fuk u ur not my real dad

rayn: brendon mike called ur boyfriend daddy

burrendon: mike u whore 

goblin king: i see u guys havent changed a bit 

mik: it was an ACCIDENT jessica
*jesus

snosh: ya know for a second i thoight u were calling brendon jessica

 

- fraction changed burrendon's nickname to jessica

 

jessica: frank noah fence but i will SLAP u if u continue

greg: sorry jessica no one touches my boyfriend

jessica: shut up greg

daddy dallon: greg more like gregorian chants ha

milky: omg no billie doesnt know the story

goblin king: ooh what story

rayn: i was yelling and dallon mistook it for gregorian chants 
and then i laughed so hard i fell over and a woman tripped over me and said i assaulted her

goblin king: wild
so what else have u guys been doing

tray: oh u know the usual
and by the usual i do not mean kidnapping becaue that is illegal and we dont do that
we also didnt hit anyone with bricks or steal a van

mik: trE NO

goblin king: oh im glad we cleared that i up or i would have thouhght u guys kidnapped someone in a stolen van thanks tre
waiT THAT REMINDS ME
MY NEIGHBOR WENT MISSING FOR LIKE A WEEK AND HE SAID SOME GUYS IN MASKS KNOCKED HIM OUT AND TIED HIM UP IN THE BACK OF A VAN AND LEFT HIM IN NEBRASKA

snosh: what no omg thats horrible

rayn: terrible who would do such a thing 

milky: peiple today are so evil 

goblin king: oh no he was happy about it
he said he found true love in nebraska and hes moving there 

jessica: well then i guess the van dudes should be awarded 
what nice thoughtful citizens

mik: haha so billie what have u been doing 

goblin king: nothing

mouse: well this has been a fun conversation time to move on 
now
please

jessica: rule 4: please

mik: brendon i will shove rule 4 up ur ass if u dont shut up

jessica: please

daddy dallon: uM EXCUSE ME 

greg: u know since we have school soon we should have anpther lemon party

milky: yES LEMON PARTY V2 WITH THE NEW SQUAD MEMBERS

snosh: do we actually need to bring lemon 

greg: um yes?? what kind of a lemon party would it be with no lemon

tlyler: a normal sleepover
u know when u go to someones house and u all go to sleep like normal teenagers

goblin king: sounds scary no thank u
u know what does sound rad
a lemon party but with REALLY BIG LEMONS

mik: ooh big lemons big lemons big lemons

milky: where do u even get big lemons from

goblin king: idk i didnt think it through
but u get the idea right

rayn: im allergic to lemons can i bring something else

greg: like what

rayn: like my sparkling personality

mouse: how is that useful to us

rayn: how are lemons useful ray

goblin king: we can eat lemons
we cant exactly eat ur personality

fraction: no but we can eat his body

snosh: fun fact: thats called cannibalism and thats illegal

fraction: u could have told me its illegal before i tried it
jesus christ josh ur no help at all

mouse: what

jessica: whAT

fraction: whats life without a little light cannibalism 

tray: making that my new motto
wait no fuck that thats gonna be my senior quote
im gonna live my entire life by that 

rayn: okay frank and tre are lowkey scaring me
again

daddy dallon: thats actually a retirement for being a full part of the squad

mik: requirement dallon not retirement 

daddy dallon: i dont know waht any of those words mean 

mik: well okay then
billie are u happy to be back

goblin king: 

Chapter Text

greg: *in the tune of final countdown*
its my mental breakdown
*off-key kazoo*

milky: go to sleep u fucking vampire

fraction: *off-key kazoo* is my aesthetic 

 

- fraction renamed the group *off-key kazoo*

 

- tlyler changed greg's nickname to a fucking vampire

 

a fucking vampire: tyler why

tlyler: getting in the halloween spirit

a fucking vampire: its the beginning of september

tlyler: thats irrelevant?????
its always halloween

daddy dallon: dont talk about halloween brendon will get excited he loves halloween

mik: thats why he was allowed to stay in the chat
tre liked that he liked halloween 

jessica: i saw the word halloween and got so excited i dropped my phone and now its cracked
tyler u owe me a new phone

tlyler: how does that work

jessica: its the rules of halloween

mouse: iTS NOT EVEN HALLOWEEN
good morning everyone

milky: cello ray
hello lmao wtf

fraction: cello
is it me ur looking for

a fucking vampire: cello
wait is it morning already

milky: yes
u kept me up all night playing that damn kazoo

jessica: thats when u know ur  beyond helping
when u stay up all night playing a kazoo

goblin king: oh yea i forgot no one ever sleeps ever in this hellhole 

snosh: u get used to it

goblin king: ur talking like im new to the chat
ive been here longer than u

snosh: yea but u kept disappearing

goblin king: we dont talk about that okay thats over and done with

snosh: *whispers* he kept disappearing

goblin: *aggressively whispers* i said its over bitch

snosh: ar u breaking up with me
*cries in spanish*

tlyler: oh wow josh i didnt know u could speak spanish

snosh: im not speaking spanish im crying spanish

 

- daddy dallon changed snosh's nickname to *cries in spanish*

 

*cries in spanish*: ooh sweet i was bored of being snosh

goblin king: what even is snosh

rayn: snosh (snake josh)
also hi

jessica: ryan ur back

rayn: where did i go

milky: u know what sounds fun
a lemon party tonight
its our last chance before school comes to murder us all

tray: i dont want to go back
i cant handle tywin being the principal
i wanT THE OLD PRINCIPAL BACk

fraction: if i have mr turner again ill scream at him until his wig falls off

mouse: i didnt know mr turner had a wig

fraction: yea he lost all his hair due to stress
which i may or may not have been the cause of

rayn: reminder: im allergic to lemons 
i literally cant breathe if a lemon touches me

tlyler: is that a real thing
i dont think thats a real thing

rayn: i almost died when i was 12 from a lemon it wasnt fun 
if any of u let a lemon touch me and i die i swear ghost me will snitch

milky: fine no lemons
how about a coconut party

goblin king: nO WE HAVE TO HAVE LEMONS ITS TRADITION

mik: I STAND WITH THE GOBLIN
WE NEED LEMONS

goblin king: mike dont call me the goblin
its either the goblin king or your grace

rayn: I LOVE COCONUTS CAN I BRING A COCONUT

mouse: we have to bring 12 lemons each so u have to bring 12 coconuts

rayn: noah fence but where the fuck am i gonna get 12 coconuts 

mouse: thats for u to figure out i already have my 12 lemons

*cries in spanish*: this sounds like a math problem
ray has 12 lemons and ryan has 0 coconuts
the goblin king confiscates 19 
calculate the mass of one jar of peanut butter

fraction: where did the 19 come from

*cries in spanish*: idk ask the goblin king hes the one who confiscated it

goblin king: i wouldnt confiscate coconuts or lemons theyre both gross
but i do like peanut butter
IM BRINGING PEANUT BUTTER OKAY

a fucking vampire: so first we had a lemon party
and now were having a lemon coconut peanut butter party??
works for me 

daddy dallon: billo 2 seconds ago u were standing up for lemon rights and now u want peanut butter
it doesnt work that way buddy sorry i dont make the rules ur disqualified

goblin king: 2 things
1. who the fuck is billo
2. u cant disqualify me from the lemon coconut peanut butter party ur not the elder

daddy dallon: who is the elder

a fucking vampire: i am
and i vote our goblin friendo stays

goblin king: ha get rekt dildo

 

- tray changed daddy dallon's nickname to dildo

 

tray: before u get ur panties in a twist just know i had to do it 
it reminds me of my good pal dildo dave

 

- dildo changed goblin king's nickname to billo

 

dildo: if i go down the goblin comes with me

tlyler: so if ur all bringing stuff u actually like does that mean i get to bring 12 blocks of cheese

a fucking vampire: yes

tray: bringing 12 grapefruit

milky: sorry thats gonna be 15 grapefruit this year
as the rent goes up so does the price of admission 
sorry boyos

rayn: i cant believe i have to go and buy 15 coconut to get into this stupid lemon coconut peanut butter cheese grapefuit party

billo: yeS I GET 15 JARS OF PEANUT BUTTER
BOI IM GONNA BE SO SICK TOMORROW BUT IDGAF I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER

jessica: in honor of halloween im bring 15 motherfucking pumpkins 

dildo: the pumpkins will take up all the room

tlyler: this is gonna be a rad night
the lemon coconut peanut butter cheese grapefruit pumpkin party
before i change the group name does anyone wanna add anything

mik: add potatos
i feel like we need potatos

*cries in spanish*: and add sour patch kids 
i love sour patch kids more than anything

tlyler: even me

*cries in spanish*: yes

tlyler: is it because im not a sour patch kid

*cries in spanish*: yes

billo: u kno what we have to do bois
we have to turn tyler into a sour patch kid

 

- billo changed tlyler's nickname to sour patch kid

 

sour patch kid: do u love me now josh

*cries in spanish*: yes

rayn: iconic

 

- sour patch kid renamed the group the lemon coconut peanut butter cheese grapefruit pumpkin potato sour patch kid party

 

a fucking vampire: im already terrified 

Chapter Text

billo: what does a cow and grass have in common

jessica: what the fuck

billo: they both moo
well not the grass
but u get what i mean

milky: oh

a fucking vampire: are u high

billo: no im kinda short actually 

fraction: i have work to do 1 sec

 

- fraction changed tray's nickname to halloween whore

 

- fraction changed jessica's nickname to halloween whore 2: the awakening

 

mik: brendon and tetris the halloween whores i like
what
i didmt even type tetris whAT

halloween whore: TETRIS I JUST HISSED 

mouse: i can see the shenanigans have already began and none of us are even at gerards house yet

a fucking vampire: im at my house
mikeys at my house
thats 2 whole people

milky: im not actually

rayn: ur not a whole person??
is ur soul missing
i told u guys his soul was missing
quiCK WE MUST PERFORM AN EXORCISM 

dildo: hoW ARE ANYOF US SUPPOSED TO KNOW AN EXOSKELETON 

mouse: "exoskeleton"

halloween whore 2: the awakening: exorcizamus te omnis immundus spiritus omnis satanica potestas omnis incursio infernalis adversarii omnis legio omnis congregatio et secta diabolica ergo omnis legio diabolica adiuramus te cessa decipere humanas creaturas eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare vade satana inventor et magister omnis fallaciæ hostis humanæ salutis humiliare sub potenti manu dei contremisce et effuge invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomine quem inferi tremunt ab insidiis diaboli libera nos domine ut ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire te rogamus audi nos

 

- *cries in spanish* left the lemon coconut peanut butter cheese grapefruit pumpkin potato sour patch kid party

 

milky: nO
IM OUT
NO NO NO
IM DONW WITH ALL THIS SATANIC BULLSHIT

billo: yea im also kind of concerned
how the fuck does brendon know an entire exorcism 

milky: IM NOT TALKING ABOUT BRENDONS EXORCISM
BRENDONS A WEIRD LITTLE PSYCHO NOTHING SURPRISES ME ANYMORE
IM TALKING ABOUT JOSH LEAVING THE GROUP RIGHT AFTER BRENDON DID THE EXORCISM 

dildo: josh is a demon confirmed

halloween whore 2: the awakening: mikey i dont appreciate being called a weird little psycho

milky: dont act like a weird little psycho then

halloween whore 2: the awakening: chat shit get hit

a fucking vampire: okay time out
the lemon coconut peanut butter cheese grapefruit pumpkin potato sour patch kid party hasnt even started yet and already billies high brendons a psycho and josh is a demon
and mikey stop insulting people and behave

billo: am not high am on the ground 

halloween whore 2: the awakening: geRARD IM NOT A PSYCHO

milky: bite me bitch

sour patch kid: is no one gonna talk about ryan saying we need to exorcise mikey because he has no soul
thats not how exorcisms work honey

rayn: um im sorry im not dating a liTERAL DEMON so im a bit confused on all this satanic stuff

sour patch kid: josé isnt a demon 

mouse: whos josé 

sour patch kid: oH MY GOD 
*JOSH

fraction: i need to add him back i need to do a thing

mik: dont blame us when u get possessed 

 

- fraction added *cries in spanish* to the lemon coconut peanut butter cheese grapefruit pumpkin potato sour patch kid party

 

- fraction changed *cries in spanish*'s nickname to josé

 

josé: ????

mik: tyler called u josé 
also why tf did u leave when brendon did teh exorcism 
thats some demonic shit right there

josé: i thought u guys would freak out
and judging by tyler frantically typing and mumbling "josh isnt a demon what the fuck" im guessing i succeeded

mouse: yea well dont fucking do that shit u know what happened last time with the government 

josé: jeez sorry mom

fraction set the nickname for mouse to mom

mom: frank can u stop 

fraction: no its a disease i can never stop

 

- mom changed fraction's nickname to godDAMN HELLION

 

halloween whore 2: the awakening: demons and exorcisms aside i have my 15 pumpkins its gonna be lit gerard im coming to ur house now

dildo: hes pushing a shopping cart full of pumpkins down the street dear lord this is so embarrassing he looks homeless

halloween whore 2: the awakening: if i was homeless why would i have 15 pumpkins??? doesnt make sense does it 
think before u speak

halloween whore: words hurt #thinkbeforeuspeak

mik: tre literally fuck off

halloween whore: uHM 
suck a dick?/

billo: i agree with the tetris suck a dick
preferably my dick

mik: billie we are in a store right now 

billo: yea so??
theres a storeroom at the back and the doors unlocked

mik: well be right back

rayn: honestly i just lost my shit that billie called tre "the tetris"

 

 - godDAMN HELLION changed halloween whore's nickname to tetris

 

tetris: rip halloween whore 2017-2017

halloween whore 2: the awakening: rip my other half

dildo: im not dead

halloween whore 2: sometimes i can still hear his voice :'(

mom: gerard open ur door my arms are full of lemons 

josé: me and tyler are leaving now 
boi this nighst gonna be wild

milky: gerard i have a question
do mom and dad even know were inviting 10 badly behaved teenage boys over 
and do they know theyre bringing a fuck ton of food

a fucking vampire: no and no
and lets not tell them if were quiet they wont notice

godDAMN HELLION: what is quiet and how do u achieve that

milky: this isnt gonna work

halloween whore 2: the awakening: i just realised this is dallons first time as an invited member 

rayn: he wasnt invited last time?

dildo: no brendon had to sneak me through the window and then i hid under a blanket and scared gerard

a fucking vampire: throwback thursday 

tetris: its tuesday

mom: throwback tuesday then

godDAMN HELLION: gerard i just climbed through ur bedroom window and dropped lemons all over the floor and ur mom saw me and was like "oh are u here to see gerard hes downstairs"
shes such a nice woman 

tetris: i know one time i accidentally knocked their front door down and she was like "lol boys will be boys"

a fucking vampire: wait that was u

tetris:  ... no?

rayn: this is exciting im excited
but the lemons are kind of scaring me
dallons holding them so close to me i could die right now

dildo: gerard open ur door brendons has to bring his shopping cart inside too

milky: but why

a fucking vampire: mikey dont be rude let the man bring his shopping cart inside

halloween whore 2: the awakening: fuck u mikey :))))

a fucking vampire: lmao mike billie listen
my mom was like "wheres ur 2 other friends"
and brendon just fucking blurts out "theyre sucking each other off in a storeroom"

mik: no ones sucking anyone off anymore
we have potatoes and peanut butter lets goooooo

tetris: i have my grapefruits
theyre arranged smallest to largest on the couch
and their names are as follows
1. jebediah (in memory of my lost son who was thrown into dallons head rip in piece)
2. jedidiah (his twin)
3. eddie 
4. (windows startup noise)
5. joseph
6. joseph (continued)
7. joseph (the finale)
8. The Egg™
9. 92 and a half 
10. gOaT bOy
11. the artful dodger
12. iPhone SE
13. carl
14. CATCH HIM DERRY
15. !!!

sour patch kid: tag urself im gOaT bOy

billo: im definitely !!!

godDAMN HELLION: i feel a close personal connection to 92 and a half

a fucking vampire: my mom isnt even questioning brendon bringing an entire shopping cart full of massive pumpkins into the house??
yet she gets mad when i smoke 1 cigarette inside the house

milky: smokinsg bad for ur health 
shopping carts and pumpkins are not

mik: oH MY GOD IM DECEASED 

rayn: what the fuck was that noise

mik: THAT NOISE WAS BILLIE NOT LOOKING WHERE HE WAS WALKING AND WALKING INTO BRENDONS SHOPPING CART AND DISAPPEARING INTO THE PUMPKINS

tetris: sorry the old billie cant come to the phone 
why?
because he was devoured by 15 pumpkins in a shopping cart

josé: the pumpkins have him now

 

- sour patch kid renamed the group the pumpkins have him now

 

billo: dont text and drive kiddos

 

halloween whore 2: the awakening: u werent driving

billo: ah thats what u think

halloween whore 2: the awakening: no thats what i know

mik: okay lets fuck shit up

godDAMN HELLION: and the lemon coconut peanut butter cheese grapefruit pumpkin potato sour patch kid party begins :)

sour patch kid: *cue music*

mom: and instead of music we get tres anguished screams

josé: why he screm

rayn: he dropped joseph (the finale)

tetris: my son
my beautiful son

a fucking vampire: rip

Chapter Text

mom: any of u guys awake??

halloween whore 2: the awakening: yes
daddy long legs keeps kicking me

godDAMN HELLION: i just made the most embarrassing honking noise while i tried not to laugh dont look at me ever again
"daddy long legs"

halloween whore 2: the awakening: daddy long legs is dallons birth name did u not know that
he came out of the womb and his mom was like "o shit dem leggys r lONG"

billo: dallon is daddy long legs and tre is brother broken legs

tetris: i feel personally attacked

a fucking vampire: IM LITERALLY GONNA PISS MYSELF AND I CANT BREATHE 
BILLIE WHAT THE FUCK
BROTHER BROKEN LEGS

josé: daddy long legs vs brother broken legs

dildo: brendon stop giggling u sound 3
also what the fuck

 

- halloween whore 2: the awakening changed dildo's nickname to daddy long legs

 

- halloween whore 2: the awakening changed tetris's nickname to brother broken legs

 

sour patch kid: he was born with long legs was he

rayn: yes his legs were already 6 feet tall

daddy long legs: only my legs were 6 feet tall?
what about the rest of my body 

rayn: the rest of ur body was a babies body

halloween whore 2: the awakening: st O P my pepsi just came out of my nose bc i pictured a babies body but with really long man legs

godDAMN HELLION: oH MY GOD STOP IT BRENDON I KEEP ACCIDENTALLY MAKING A WEIRD HONKING NOISE 

sour patch kid: what  are those foghorn noises also why are u all in the chat when were all laying on the same floor

milky: those noises were franks "im trying not to laugh right now bc everyone is asleep so instead ill just honk disturbingly until i no longer find the situation funny" noises

billo: oh
i thought it was a foghorn

brother broken legs: foghorn frank

mom: FOGHORN FRANK IM IN PHYSICAL PA I N

 

- mom changed godDAMN HELLION's nickname to foghorn frank

 

- rayn renamed the group the legend of foghorn frank

 

a fucking vampire: frogpan frank???
oH THAT SAYS FOGHORN IM SO SORRY 

billo: F R O G P A N
IM CRYING ACTUAL TEARS

mik: billie shut the fuck up why are u laughing 

billo: frogpan

 

- tetris changed foghorn frank's nickname to frogpan

 

frogpan: thanks?

josé: tre listen
(windows startup noise) has rolled into me 16 times in the last hour can u control him pls

brother broken legs: josh listen
(windows startup noise) uses they/them pronouns 

josé: im so sorry
can u control them pls

brother broken legs: yea sure ill just put them on a leash should i

mom: (windows startup noise) is the problem child of the family 

mik: (winows startup noise) is gender fluid? rad

brother broken legs: yes
they are also asexual

frogpan: (windows startup noise) is a grapefruit
grapefruits dont have a gender or sexuality

rayn: frank dont be so negative

a fucking vampire: u heard it here first folks
(windows startup noise) is an asexual gender fluid grapefruit

sour patch kid: what about CATCH HIM DERRY 
that ones my fave

brother broken legs: CATCH HIM DERRY had a difficult childhood and she doenst like to talk to people

daddy long legs: mood: tre making up backstories for his 15 grapefruits 

frogpan: 14 grapefruits

brother broken legs: dID U REALLY HAVE TO REMIND ME THAT I DROPPED joseph (the finale) AND HE EXPLODED

milky: yes tre were gonna need u to clean up the grapefruit shit thats all over the carpet btw

brother broken legs: im a grieving mother and grieving mothers dont do housework
also my legs are broken

milky: having broken legs ddnt stop u from going out and buying 15 grapefruits and carrying them all here did it

mik: i just fucking rolled over and got peanut butter all over my neck @ billie what the fuck

billo: oh yea like 10/15 jars are open be careful u guys

halloween whore 2: the awakening: i love that billie tells us to be careful bc he opened 10 jars of peanut butter and just left them on the floor

billo: brendon  u cant say shit u made a pumpkin mountain and u screech every time someone touches it

halloween whore 2: the awakening: touch my masterpiece and ill piss in ur peanut butter

mik: "ill piss in ur peanut butter" bRENDON 

frogpan: oH MY GOD U GUYS OH MY GOD
RYAN WASNT LYING ABOUT HIS LEMON ALLERGY 

sour patch kid: what
did he touch a lemon
is he okay

mom: NO HE SISNT OKAY
FRANK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DID U DO TO HIM

brother broken legs: oh boy its so Dark™ and Crowded™ in here i cant see shit
i hope the grapefruits dont get injured in the chaos

halloween whore 2: the awakening: what happened to ryan

frogpan: HE COVERED A POTATO IN PEANUT BUTTER AND THREW IT AT ME SO I TRIED TO THROW IT BACK BUT I ACCIDENTALLY PICKED UP A LEMON AND IT HIT HIM IN THE FACE AND NOW HE CANT BREATHE 

daddy long legs: wow i didnt know lemons could be so breathtaking 

rayn: shut the fuck up u vapid sewer wench 

a fucking vampire: vapID SEWER WENCH IM FUCKINF DEAD

sour patch kid: even when hes literally dying ryan still finds the strength to call dallon a vapid sewer wench

milky: honestly im more surprised that dallon spelled breathtaking right

sour patch kid: whoever the fuck just stood on my cheese do u mind

halloween whore 2: the awakening: tyLER NO ONE CARES ABOUT UR CHEESE RYAN IS LITERALLY DYING RIGHT NOW

mom: AND WHILE RYAN IS LITERALLY DYING WERE ALL LAYING AROUND TEXTING ON OUR PHONES MAYBE ONE OF US SHOULD DRIVE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL

milky: NONE OF US HAS A CAR OR CAN LEGALLY DRIVE RAY 

a fucking vampire: damn i SHOULD HAVE KEPT THE VAN WHY DID U MAKE ME BURN IT

brother broken legs: E V I D E N C E

billo: u guys had a van
rad 
wait why did u burn it

daddy long legs: uhHdGGFD
ITS NOT IMPORTANT RYANS DYING SHUT UP

 

- daddy long legs removed billo from the legend of foghorn frank

 

mik: smooth 

 

- mik added billo to the legend of foghorn frank

 

milky: jesus christ whats all that banging and screaming its so dark this is terrifying

frogpan: i just witnessed the funniest goddamn thing in all of history
billie yelled across the room "DALLON DO U WANT TO DIE TONIGHT"
and dallon was like "BRING IT GOBLIN BOY"
and billie fucking punched out and hit one of the grapefruits instead of dallon and tre slapped billie so billie grabbed a jar of peanut butter and threw it at tre but it missed and went all in tylers hair so tyler kicked billie in the back and he fell forwards onto the lemons and he started throwing them around and ryan got hit with a load of lemons and now hes like double dying

josé: "double dying"

billo: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

brother broken legs: *ryan dying intensifies*

mom: nONE OF US ARE DOING ANYTHING AND RYAN IS LITERALLY NOT BREATHING JESUS CHRIST 

milky: WE CAN TAKE OUR PARENTS CAR TO THE HOSPOTAL LETS GO LETS GO LETS GP LETSG GODOIK

a fucking vampire: "godoik"

mik: this definitely wont cause a sceen
we all go to the hospital covered in peanut butter with a kid that isnt breathing and tre has 2 broken legs with smashed grapefruit all over him

sour patch kid: dont forget brendon has a sharpie upside down L on his head

halloween whore 2: the awakening: i do??
omf i do
why the fuCK

josé: tyler did it bc he has a weird waluigi fetish 

sour patch kid: jeSUS CHRIST JOSH SELL ME WHY DONT U 

billo: RYAN ISNT BREATHING U DICKFUCKS LETS GO 

a fucking vampire: dont u mean lets godoik

milky: geARD FUCK UR ASS

a fucking vampire: no thx thats franks job ;)

mom: RYAN COULD LITERALLY DIE ANY SECOND WHAT IS WRONG WITH U ASSHOLES

daddy long legs: this just proves that ryan was the weakest member of the #squad

halloween whore 2: the awakening: stop using past tense hes not dead yet

brother broken legs: "yet"

daddy long legs: the weak members of the squad die and are forgotten
the strong ones keep going
rip ryan

josé: daLLON 

Chapter Text

halloween whore 2: the awakening: IM GOING TO DIE OF A HEART ATTACK IM LAUGHIBSG SO HARD FUCK 

daddy long legs: SAY ONE WORD AND I WILL MURDER UR ENTIRE FAMILY

sour patch kid: DALLLON CMON ITS FUNNY

daddy long legs: NOT FOR ME 

frogpan: okay i am intrigued

milky: brendon and tyler if u dont tell us well murder ur entire families

daddy long legs: NO
STOP IT 
BRENDON TYLER DONT U FUCKING DARE
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT 

halloween whore 2: the awakening: IM LAUGHING SO HARD I THINK I MIGHT BE COUGHING UP BLOOD DALL WHY DID U DO THAT

daddy long legs: I DIDNT WANNA DO IT JESUS CHRIST I HAVE TO WALK AROUND ALL DAY LIKE THIS NOW 
FUCKING TYLER THIS IS ALL UR FAULt

sour patch kid: IT WAS SSO GODDAMN FUNNY HOLY SHIT DALLON i kinda feel bad for u tho

a fucking vampire: what the fuck is going on

frogpan: dallon did something that he doesnt want us to know about thats tylers fault and brendons literally dying because of it

brother broken legs:  u guys have to tell us its important we shouldnr keep secrets were all besties here

billo: weve been at school for less than an hour 
dallon what the hell did u do thats so bad

daddy long legs: NOTHING BILLIE FUCK OFF

mik: psa: new principal tywin is MEAN and STRICT :(

josé: brendon just tell us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

daddy long legs: im leAVING THE CHAT
IM LEAVING TOWN
IM MOVING TO ICELAND SO I NEVER HAVE TO LOOK ANY OF U IN THE EYE EVER AGAIN

 

- daddy long legs left the legend of foghorn frank

 

josé: wjat happened omg 
dallons taking this so seriously 

sour patch kid: brendons in tears right now he can barely breathe so ill summarise real quick
dallon peed all over himself

mom: the first thing i see when i turn my phone on is a message saying dallon peed on himself n i c e :)

a fucking vampire: but... how
how did he pee on himself

halloween whore 2: the awakening: me dallon and tyler were hanging in the bathroom as u do
dallon was peeing
and suddenly tyler started laughing really fuckin hard and he was like "i just thought of chevron with techron but instead of chevron its brendon with techron"
and we all laughed
but dallon laughed so much that he fell over in the middle of peeing and yea he peed all over himself and its really noticeable so he locked himself in a stall and now he refuses to come out
bUT THE FUNNIEST PART WAS HIS FUCKING PTERODACTYL SCREECH WHEN HE FELL I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS CAPABLE OF MAKING SUCH A HIGH PITCHED NOISE

 

- mik changed halloween whore 2: the awakening's nickname to brendon with techron

 

josé: we should add him back but like dont make him feel bad about it u know 
peeing on urself is embarrassing as fuck

sour patch kid: u would know

josé: fuck OFF TYLER
IT WAS ONE TIME AND I WAS DRUNK

 

- josé removed sour patch kid from the legend of foghorn frank

 

josé: like i said
lets be nice

 

- josé added daddy long legs to the legend of foghorn frank

 

brendon with techron: dall my good buddy
were sorry if we made u feel uncomfortable
but that shit was fucking hilarious 

josé: brNDOJ I SAID BE NICE

brendon with techron: what THD FUCK IS A BRNDOJ

mom: we havent changed a bit since last year i love this this is so wholesome

daddy long legs: can we just preted this didnt happen 
yes good okay moVING ON

a fucking vampire: wait i just remembered ryans been in the hospital for 3 days is he okay where he @

rayn: im here
im alive 
kind of

milky: i cant believe we forgor our friend was dying 
were such bad people oh my gid
dallon this si ur fault

daddy long legs: jeSUS CHRIST MIKEY DO U THINK I WANTED TO PISS ON MYSELF

billo: well some people are into that shit

brother broken legs: okay to make dallon feel better ill admit this 
i once pissed myself on purpose to see what it felt like

mik: okay tre thanks for sharing
now lets stop sharibg and be nice normal high school kids
ryan how are u

rayn:  im good i was just laughing at dallon pissing himself

daddy long legs: i didnt piss myself i pissed ON myself
there is a difference 

rayn: either way u ended up covered in ur own piss so....

daddy long legs: ryan eat a lemon

josé: DALLON OH  MY GOD U CANT SAY THAT

billo: oh yeah ryan im sorry for accidentally throwing 200 lemons at u

frogpan: me too
sorry for almost killing u

rayn: oh yea i have some news
the doctors told me i was dead when they brought me in but they managed to save me
i was dead for 6 and a half minutes
billie and frank literally killed me

billo: oh my god me and frank are murderers???
can we go to jail for this

frogpan: lol i hope not

billo: hey me and ryan can make a "legally died for a few minutes club"
and me and frank can make a "literally murdered a person once" club

brother broken legs: and me and dallon can make a "pissed my pants on time" club

daddy long legs: trE FUCK 
THE ABUSe

 

- daddy long legs left the legend of foghorn frank

 

brendon with techron: hes still in the stall lmao he wont come out
he said hell only go to class if i go to his house and bring him clean pants

mik: okay thats a good idea
but
new principal tywin is so goddamn strict hell  prob give u 54 weeks of detetntion if he catches u

brendon with techron: its okay il be sneaky sneak

mik: the last tiem u said that u kicked the old principals door in and stole a phone and got arrested

brendon with techron: we all make mistakes
wait fuck i cant go to his house

mom: why not

brendon with techron: his parents dont like me lmao oops

milky: honestly im not surprised 
what did u do to make them not like u

brendon with techron: i dont remember i wss high but dallon said i climbed through his window in the middle of the night and screamed for 3 minutes straight and then grabbed a load of food from his fridge and left

rayn: yeah i can see where that would annoy them

billo: im already done with this so ill go get him clean pants

 

- mik added daddy long legs to the legend of foghorn frank

 

mik: billies being nice and going to get u clean pants bc ur parents dont like brendon

daddy long legs: ah yes bc of the screaming i remember 

brendon with techron: hey i apologised to them didnt i

daddy long legs: brendon u gave them a piece of paper that said "hey sorry i broke into ur house at night screamed rlly loud and stole ur food - xoxo dallons boyfriend"

a fucking vampire: "xoxo dallons boyfriend" truly beautiful brendon :')

daddy long legs: mY PARENTS DIDNT KNOW WE WERE DATING 
THEY DONT SUPPORT ANYTHING LBGT+ 
DO U KNOW HOW MANY ARGUMENTS THAT CAUSED 
I HAD TO CONVINCE THEM U WERE FUCKING AROUND

brendon with techron: wait so ur parenst STILL dont know ur gay
and more importantly they dont know ur gay with me????

daddy long legs: no and no

billo: oH
well
this has taken a depressing turn
ill save u dally

rayn: ill be at school with u guys tomorrow 
the whole squad will be reunited :)

josé: ha i just remembered i removed tyler 

 

- josé added sour patch kid to the legend of foghorn frank

 

sour patch kid: finally jishwa 
what did i miss

frogpan: u missed the story of brendon meeting dallons parents 

sour patch kid: i can already tell that ended badly 

brendon with techron: it did

mom: also tre  did u know theres a rumor going arund that the old principal left bc he got caught sucking u off in a closet

brother broken legs: its not a rumor if its true ;)

milky: i am.... uncomfortable

billo: dsllon how do i get into ur house

daddy long legs: i would say knock on the door but i dont thnk my parenst will liek u either 
so 
idk
climb throgh my bedroom window 

billo: sure thing space cowboy 

mik: why dont u give me nice nicknames like that 
im ur boyfriedn am i not

billo: u have a nickname

mik: "shithead" is not a nickname

 

- frogpan changed mik's nickname to shithead

 

shithead: frANK I WIL COME INTO UR CLASS AND SHANK U 

frogpan: pls do im stuck with mr turner agIAN

mom: im already so lost idk what were doing help me

a fucking vampire: ray i can see u and u look like u want to stab a bitch

mom: i do

milky: this morning my plan was to behave for at least 1 day
but tre is making it very hard
he keeps passing me notes and all theys say is dumb shit like "i will buy ur glasses for 2 goat"
no tre i need my glasses im a blind motherfucker

brother broken legs: mikeY
pay attenion to me
mikey
MIKEY

milky: tre omg u cant just scream my name in the middle of class what the fuck
oh tre got kicked out 
bye

brother broken legs: hA MKEY ALSO GOT KICKED OUT

a fucking vampire: mikey im shooketh

milky: i fuckOIJNG WHGDFR
I WAVED AT TRE AS HE LEFT AND I GOT KICKED OUT FR IT

billo: DALLON IM SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE MESS I MADE

daddy long legs: its fine whatever u do brendons already done it 12 times

billo: i fell through the window and landed on the desk and broke it s o r r y

daddy long legs: um there isnst a desk in my room???
oh my GOD BILLIE U CLIMBED THROUGH THE WRONG WINDOW UR IN MY OARENTS ROOM GET OUT G E T O U T

brendon with techron: rip billie 2k17

rayn: #ripbillie2017

shithead: billIE JESUS 

billo: IVE BROUGHT SHAME ON TH EFAMILY IM OSRYY

brother broken legs: "osryy"

milky: wow this day is already WILD
ryan came back to life
dallon pissed himself
billie wrecked a house

billo: oh my GOD DALLON UR PARENTS ARE LOUD THEYRE SHOUTING
I LOCKED MYSELF IN UR ROOM
oh rad u have a bass

daddy long legs: yes dont touch it

billo: im bring it with me back to school

daddy long legs: bAILEY DONT

shithead: bailey 
what the fuck dallon

rayn: bailey 

daddy long legs: yes yes everyone knows i cant fucking spell shut up

a fucking vampire: jesus christ ur in a shitty mood today

mom: yea dall who pissed on ur birthday cake

daddy long legs: i pissed on my birthday cake
except it wasnt a birthday cake it was myself 

frogpan: oh wow i didnt know it was ur birthday
happy birthday dallon

milky: wha
is ist dallns birtdhay 
happy birthday 

frogpan: everyoe say happy birthday to dallon

sour patch kid: happy birtdhay

rayn: happy birthday dallojn!!

daddy long legs: hahaHA u guys can all fuck urselves 

 

- daddy long legs left the legend of foghorn frank

 

mom: oh 

 

- shithead renamed the group happy birthery dallon

 

rayn: "birthery"

shithead: hey someone has to be iliterare now dallons left the squad

brendon with techron: he didnt leave the squad he left the chat

sour patch kid: leave the chat leave the squad
rip dallon hes dead and gone byeee

brendon with techron: tyrant i will CUT u
tyrannosaurus 
w h a t im wheezing
*tyler

 

- frogpan changed sour patch kid's nickname to tyrant

 

- brother broken legs changed billo's nickname to bill bailey

 

a fucking vampire: whos bill bailey

brother broken legs: Mark Robert "Bill" Bailey (born 24 February 1964) is an English comedian, musician, actor, TV and radio presenter and author.

tyrant: i would fuck bill bailey

josé: ty i think u misspelled josh

tyrant: no i didnt??

josé: </3

bill bailey: honestly fuCK u guys and ur duMB CHAT
i juet fell out of dallons window bc i stopped to read the messages

brendon with techron: i just realized im a terrible boyfriend lmao
dallons not even fucking about hes so mad right now and im on the floor laughing

shithead: its okat whenever billies in a bad mood i also laigh bc he tries so hard to be mean but hes like 5 feet tall 

bill bailey: when mikes in a bad mood i laugh bc one time he punched a wall like a typical white boy 
i think he expected to brak the wall but all he did was break his hand and then he couldnt jack off and i refused to jack him off and it was so funny

shithead: u see billie
this is why people call u things like goblin and gremlin 
bc ur a fuckiNAG ASSHOEL

bill bailey: calm down mike
dont punch a wall again

shithead: dallon had a good idea when he left 
i think ill take his advie

 

- shithead left happy birthery dallon

 

frogpan: can people stop leaving oh my god
u can tell schools back everyones hostile and angry
i will fix

 

- frogpan added daddy long legs to happy birthery dallon

 

- frogpan added shithead to happy bithery dallon

 

frogpan: dallon stop being a grumpy shit
mike also stop being a grumpy shit

bill bailey: dallon ur back congratulations
ur parents are very mean i do not like 

brendon with techron: see dall im not the only one who thinks ur parents are dicks

daddy long legs: u werent the only one anyway
i also think my parents are dicks
anyway billie hurry up be my savior 

bill bailey: yea about that
i brought ur bass but i forgot clean pants 
lol sorry

a fucking vampire: at least u brought his bass

brother broken legs: life hack: if u piss on urself and only have a bass just carry ur bass in front of ur crotch so no one notices 

tyrant: tre is so wisdom wow

mom: "tre is so wisdom" what

rayn: i have a better idea: u guys all ditch school and come see me in my hospital bed im bored and alone
billie and frank owe it to me considering they actually murdered me

brendon with techron: *manslaughter
it was accidental 

frogpan: or was it..????

rayn: on second thought u guys can just stay where u are im fine on my own

Chapter Text

mom: new principal tywin can suck my dick if he thinks im gonna hand my phone in before school and get it at the end
seriously who even does that

brother broken legs: ray back off 
new principal tywin is my sugar daddy

tyrant: is that rlly a new rule
bc if so ill just stay home 

josé: tyler u cant stay home again wtf
were a week into the year and u were only in for 2 days

tyrant: still better than ryan who hasnt been in AT ALL

rayn: fuck off i was dead

bill bailey: hey at least u came back some people dont get that privilege 

a fucking vampire: oH YEAH I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION
ryan what happened when u died

rayn: well
it felt kind of like i was waking up froma rlly good sleep
and i stood up and saw my own body which was kind of disturbing 
and i walked outside the room saw u guys all sitting in the waiting room and i was rlly sad about leaving u guys
and i wanted to speak to u but there was like a invisisble wall blocking me idk
but then i got this weird feeling like i had to be somewhere rlly soon??
so i went back into where my body was and then i woke up for real and the doctors were like "congrats ur alive"

milky: "congarts ur alive" 

 

- brother broken legs renamed the group congrats ur alive

 

a fucking vampire: billie what happened when u died i forgot to ask u

bill bailey: well i died
and i was some sort of ghost it was so fucking cool 
like i could go through walls and stuff 
and i could touch stuff but people couldnt see me like i knocked over a trash can and broke someones phone lmao it was wild they were screamming 
but then suddenly there was a flash of white light and i woke up with a load of doctors staring at me 

brendon with techron: i love that
ryan: calmly walks around...feels bad about leaving us... tries to make contact
billie: floats through walls... breaks stuff... causes general chaos... doesnt even think about his friends

frogpan: tag urself im billie

 

- josé changed frogpan's nickname to billie

 

milky: i dont think u should do that josh
remember when everyones nickname got changed to dallon and it was jist rlly weird no lets not 

daddy long legs: hey i liked that
it was like having a mini army of me 

josé: fINe jesUs chSIRSt

 

- josé changed billie's nickname to frank wank

 

frank wank: 10/10 i like it

tyrant: u know what
i will come into school
if new principal tywin tries to take my phone ill literally swalloe it 

mom: gr7 idea tyler 

shithead: "gr7" 

mom: yea it measn the idea was gr8 but not that gr8 u feel me

shithead: i swear people have got meaner this year
ive been here for 10 minutes and ive already been called fag 3 times

bill bailey: ill fight them all

shithead: no ur already in trouble for breaking the vending machine

bill bailey: okay but i didnt break it i just stole stuff from it
brendon broke it

brendon with techron: fuck off billie

bill bailey: duck my dick

brendon with techron: sure bby ;)

brother broken legs: "duck my dick"

bill bailey: duck my dick suck my dick whatever 

brendon with techron: ill duck AND suck ur dick if u want 

daddy long legs: uHm breNDoN CaN u mAyEb nOT?

tyrant: can u maybe not type in random caps pls it hurts my eyes

daddy long legs: cAn U mAyBe NoT tYpE iN rAnDom CaPs PlS iT hUrTs My EyEs

 

- tyrant removed daddy long legs from congrats ur alive

 

brendon with techron: tyler u fucko thast my boyfriend 

 

- brendon with techron removed tyrant from congrats ur alive

 

- milky renamed the group tyler u fucko

 

- a fucking vampire renamed the group FUCKO

 

milky: gerard why

josé: honestly brendon i love how ur mad that tyler removed dallon but u dont add dallon back u just remove  tyler

 

- josé removed brendon with techron from FUCKO

 

mom: as the mom of u little shits i demand u stOP whatever the fuck is going on and stop removing people

 

- mom added daddy long legs to FUCKO

 

- mom added tyrant to FUCKO

 

- mom added brendon with techron to FUCKO

 

frank wank: ARE U FUCKING SERIOUS IM STUCK WITH MR TURNER AGAIN IM GONNA FUCKING STAB SOMEONE IN A MINIUET

brother broken legs: frank is okay im in class with u we can steal his wig 

frank wank: gr9 idea

shithead: wait whas gr9

frogpan: its when the idea is so gr8 it becomes gr9

josé: saying gr9 is gr1
aka not gr8 at all

frank wank: josh ur face is gr1

josé: tyler u have to fight frank to defend me its the law

a fucking vampire: josh that means i have to fight u its the law

brendon with techron: i want to fight someone

rayn: brendon no 

brendon with techron: shut up ryro u cant tell me what to do

rayn: ryro
i like that

brendon with techron: ur welcome bby <3

 

- rayn changed their own nickname to ryro

 

brendon with techron: anyway
dallon fight me

daddy long legs: no 
im in class
im actyally behaving 
leave me alone

mom: that would be an accomplishment but u dont rlly cause trouble anyway 

ryro: "dallon doesnt cause trouble" ray what drugs are u on 

a fucking vampire: ray do u remember when he almost got us all arrested bc he fell through the roof of that warehouse and the alarsm went off

mom: okay but hes not as bad as certain people aka billie and brendon

bill bailey: i feel personally attcked
im not as bad as brendon what the fuck

shithead: no offence billie but u kind of are (ur probably worse tbh)

brendon with techron: okay well thast it 
teh rules say me and billie have to get married now 

shithead: okay well thats not happeneing

brendon with techron: shut up mike who are u to get in the way of true love
billie completes me
i love him <3

shithead: n o p e

 

- shithead removed brendon with techron from FUCKO

 

bill bailey: such a macho man ily mick

shithead: u dont love me enough to remember my damn name

 

- bill bailey changed shithead's nickname to mick

 

mick: well its betetr than being called shithead ig

mom: im so bored im literally coounting how many pens i can hide in my hair what has my life become

tyrant: why does school seem even shittier this year what the fuck i want to go home im gonna murder someone

ryro: same tyler same

daddy long legs: i vote everyone shuts the fuck up before i egt my phone taken away 

frank wank: put it on silent 

a fucking vampire: franks such a smart boi i love him 

milky: why is everyone so gay today jesus 

 

- ryro renamed the group gay day

 

bill bailey: mikey were gay everyday 

tyrant: at the weekend we should throw a sick ass party

josé: the last party we had ended with ryan literally dying 

ryro: its okay i can die again if u want

daddy long legs: but what id u dont come back thus time

ryro: i cannot die again

a fucking vampire: yES LETS ALL GET SHITFACED DRUNK 
THATS THE BEST IDEA UVE EVER HAD TYERL

frank wank: drunk me is the best me

daddy long legs: CAN U ALL SHUT UP jesus christ

ryro: PUT
UR
PHONE
ON 
SILENT

daddy long legs: I DID ITS STILL VIBRATING 

brother broken legs: is it turning u on ;)

daddy long legs: yes of course it is tre i have a raging boner in class right now

milky: dallon fuck ur phone

mom: dallon dont fuck ur phone

 

- brother broken legs added brendon with techron to FUCKO

 

brother broken legs: hey brendon dallons gonna fuck his phone 

brendon with techron: record it and send it to me

tyrant: brendon.... what the fuck

daddy long legs: how can i record it while im fucking it

frank wank: so ur admitting ur gonna fuck ur phone

daddy long legs: nO oh my god 
im not fucking my phone

 

- milky changed daddy long legs's nickname to phone fucker

 

brendon with techron: dallon loves his phone now i guess me and him are over
hey ryan wanna fuck

ryro: brendon thats not even funny wtf
and didnt u confess ur love for billie like 5 minutes ago

mick: brendon dont even think about it

bill bailey: its okay bren we can be secret lovers ;)

phone fucker: i dont like this conversation

a fucking vampire: confirmed: brendon billie and ryan are all in some sort of orgy cult thing

josé: okay be honest
that would be hot as fuck

tyrant: josh ur not supposed to encourage them what the hell 

Chapter Text

bill bailey: hello friends
last night i became a ghost sighting

ryro: excuse me
dont u jave to be dead for that
wha t

bill bailey: i was dead once
but no i am alive and im still a ghost sighting

mick: billie pls dont tell this story again im already cringing it was so emarrassing omg

phone fucker: well now u have to tell us its the rules

bill bailey: dont u worry daldo i will
but lets wait for the whole squad to assemble

brendon with techron: "daldo" 

phone fucker: i know whats coming
its better than phone fucker at least

 

- tyrant changed phone fucker's nickname to daldo

 

daldo: ive accepted my fate

bill bailey: um dallon im happy ur finding urself but shut the fuck up 

mick: biLLIE BE NICE

bill bailey: I WANT TO TELL MY STORY OF HOW I BECAME A GHOST SIGHTING 

josé: im ready

brother broken legs: promotion

 

- milky removed brother broken legs from FUCKO

 

milky: no spongebob quotes in the chat 
tre can come back when he learns to behave

frank wank: hi this is tre i stole frnals phone
mikey u lil bicth fist fight me right now
frank agaon
pls dont fight tre 

a fucking vampire: see mikey
see what u caused 

milky: i stand by what i said
NO SPONGEBOB QUOTES IN THE CHAT

 

- frank wank added brother broken legs to FUCKO

 

frank wank: that wasnt me btw that was tre 

brother broken legs: mikey dont fuck with me i stg

mom: how did billie become a ghost sighting exactly 

bill bailey: im waiting for u all to be quiet

josé: well everyones here now so 
go ahead

mick: pls dont omg ill cry 

bill bailey: it started off as harmless sex in a graveyard

a fucking vampire: pls tell me u didnt do that

bill bailey: we didnt not do that

mom: okay thats disrespectful

bill bailey: hey i cant choose where i get a boner

mick: im going to leave the chat until this is over 

 

- mick left FUCKO

 

bill bailey: so we were fucking in a graveyard
i was naked as fuck
and suddenly mike started freaking out bc he thought he could see someone
and i was like yea sure whatever continue
but he was like no rlly theres someone there
and suddenly this voice is like "u kiddos better not be fucking in there"
and honestly i kind of panicked??? and ran away 
i was n a k e d
and there were people walking past and i was fucking standing there naked in the light from the streetlight 
and i thought they were gonna laugh but no they all started screaming and freaked out bc they thought i was a ghost :)

 

- bill bailey added mick to FUCKO

 

bill bailey: i told the story u can come back now 

mick: i hate u 

mom: billie 
as ur mother i feel i need to tell u to not have sex in a graveyard
and also to not run around naked wtf what kind of psycho are u

tyrant: honestly 
graveyard sex sounds hot
josh?

josé: ;)

milky: guys
i am a small innocent child
s t o p

frank wank: mikey way protection squad

 

- brother broken legs renamed the group mikey way protection squad

 

a fucking vampire: mikey if ur a small innocent child then im a fucking plastic bag

frank wank: do u ever feel
like a plastic bag

daldo: do u ever feel
like gerard way

tyrant: someone rename gerard vampirebag
u know
like vampire bat but bag

a fucking vampire: no one rename me

 

- brendon with techron changed a fucking vampire's nickname to vampirebag

 

vampirebag: brendon i said no

brendon with techron: i cannot read suddenly

daldo: oh no its spreading

ryro: i love how were all pleasantly ignoring billie and mikes graveyard adventure

 

- josé renamed the group billie and mikes graveyard adventure

 

mick: this is abuse

bill bailey: shut up u liked it

frank wank: so would u reccomend graveyard sex

bill bailey: yES ITS SO GOOD

brendon with techron: hey dall guess what were doing later

daldo: no way im not getting possessed bc i nutted on a grave again

tyrant: what

frank wank: "again"

daldo: i dont wanna talk about it it was like 3 years ago 

brendon with techron: well damn
hey ryan
wanna have sex in a graveyard later

daldo: brendon... what?

mom: the real question here is
why was dallon having sex in a graveyard when he was like 13
shouldnt u be playing with legos at that age

brother broken legs: i shoved a lego piece up my ass when i was 13

mom: that... doesnt even surprise me

brendon with techron: wait did u legit get possessed 

daldo: im no longer taking questions 
opening hours are between 9am and 5pm
u can make an appointment if u want and ill get back to u tomorrow

bill bailey: but its only 12 

 

- daldo left billie and mikes graveyard adventure

 

brendon with techron: well dallon can fuck off
ryan u never answered my question
wanna fuck in a graveyard later?

mick: brendon idk if anyones ever told u but if ur boyfriend doesnt wanna have sex u cant just go ask someone else

ryro: brendon no i dont wanna get possessed

mom: brnedon whats up with u
whts ur obsession with ryan 

brendon with techron: ryans hot 
i love ryan <3

ryro: stop ur with alan 
*dallon 

tyrant: ALAN IM SCREAMING
actually no im not im in class that would be innapropriate 

milky: u guys know that picture of the red banana that just says "what" underneath it
thats me rigth now
im in math

brother broken legs: hold on
go ahead
w̢̰͖͔̼̪̯̱͕̼͘͟ḩ̛͍͔͉̹̗̖͖͙̘̘̗̫̰͠a̛͏̘̫͍̳̘͕͡t̷̺̮̱̠̮̗̠̕͜

frank wank: our father who art in heaven give is the strength to not slap tre right now

vampirebag: frank please never speak like that again ever

ryro: š̩̻͍̱ ̼̺͉͓̳̏̇͂̆p͐ͭ ̝̬̮o͈̟̬̝͔̮͌ͫͣͤ̾̓ ̻̖͈̗̮̿ͤo̳̜̗͚ ̩ͦͨ͌̄̾k͕̪̥ ͇͇̂̒̓̽͂̓y̹̭̾͐ͮ

mick: i can alread tell this is gonna end with the government and satan 
tre and ryan ill remove u if i continue

ryro: ṷͯ̔̑̈r̩̣͕̖̗̫ͧ̊ ̥̳̻ͣj̞̏ͫͭù̬̲̞̋̎̏ͬ̈́s̪̺͔̥͓͚͗́ͮͫ̂͗͐t̺̝ͧͭ̃̔̎ͤ ͍̹̂̐̒̎ͣͩś̭͓̭̖̠̩̠̑̃ͩ̚a̤̪l̙̙̭̤͚͓t̙̩̠͓y̹̖̜ͦ̃͋ͅ

mick: i am not salty i am a god fearing christian boy

brother broken legs: i͙̹s̼̭ͭ̓́̚ ͇͓̣̰̭̲t͍̣̲̃h̩̼̬̙̯͓̝ḁ̲ͯt͕͆͆̐ͫ̃̈ ͉̝̦̥̈̌ͥͬͮ̓s̟̺͉̬̳͇̺͒ͬl͐̐̂a̩̯͉̼͂̑̓̔͛̾͐n͉̤̹͉̰̩̠͊g͈̩̻͍͔̃̅̿ͦ ̘̫͍̥̙͇̇͗́ͬ̓f̮̞͔̘̩̈ͯͣȏr͗ ̤͚̲̣͙̄ͮ͊̃s̭͇͖̖̭̦͐̆̄ͪͥ̚ả̜̳̭͖̀́ͮ̎ͅl̚t͖y̭̮̟̹̰̜͈̾ͮͭ?̓?̖͍̯̘̺̬ͮ͑̃̀̇

mick: okay so ryan and tre and Fucknuts™ and they are no longer welcome here

 

- mick removed ryro from billie and mikes graveyard adventure

 

- mick removed brother broken legs from billie and mikes graveyard adventure

 

milky: our squad is 3 down what a tragedy

brendon with techron: with both ryan and dallon gone who can i turn my affections to now

vampirebag: how about instead of being a dick u go and talk to ur boyfriend who is actually upset right now

brendon with techron: why is he upset
also im not being a dick

vampirebag: hes upset bc ur being a massive dick 

frank wank: i agree :/
brendon u need to sort ur shit out boi

mom: why can we not have a nice normal chat
why do people have to complicate things 

milky: thats called high school ray 

brendon with techron: how am i being a dick what the fuck

bill bailey: ur being flirty with ryan

brendon with techron: am i not allowed to do that

bill bailey: noT WHEN UR IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH DALLON NO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK BRENDON

brendon with techron: JESUS DONT YELL 

mick: brendon listen
do u remember what happened last time
do u remember the war it started
do u remember the trouble it caused

mom: this has gone from funny story to drama very quickly and i do not like

milky: i like a lot ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

- milky added daldo to billie and mikes graveyard adventure

 

- milky added brother broken legs to billie and mikes graveyard adventure

 

- milky added ryro to billie and mikes graveyard adventure

 

vampirebag: mikey oh my god

tyrant: i got myself kciked out of class to read tha drama u guys better deliver

daldo: theres drama?
how
i was gone for like 2 seconds 

bill bailey: in short brnedon is a fuckwit and u should get urself a decent boyfriend 

brendon with techron: bILLIE U FUCKING GREMLIN

bill bailey: DONT CALL ME GREMLIN I SWEAR TO GOD

mick: okAYY BEFORE THIS GETS OUT OF HAND AND PEOPLE START HITTING ECH OTHER AND WHATEVER
BOTH OF U SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP AND JUST S T O P BEFORE SOMEONE GETS HURT AND WE ALL END UP IN TROUBLE AGAIN
brendon that was mainly aimed at u but billie pls dont make thinsg worse

vampirebag: mikey lok what ur causing with ur addiction to drama

milky: i know its gr10

frank wank: gr10????

milky: even gr8er than gr9

frank wank: o

josé: tyler the dramas over come back to class

tyrant: as the good lord once said: no

brendon with techron: mike shut up oh my god 

mick: ?????? what did i do

mom: please
no
not again

ryro: this chat causes so much pain and troube why are u even still in it

brother broken legs: its an addiction
we cant stop 

daldo: actually before the drama ends
brendon i have 1 questipn
why are u such a whore

tyrant: thIS IS THE DELIVERY I WAS EXPECTING YES

josé: calm down ur literally gonna nut over a slight domestic 

bill bailey: i agree with dlalo brendon is a whore

mick: bILLIE UR NOT EVEN HELPING RIGT NOW

bill bailey: YES I AM IM HELPING DALLON REALIZE HE CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN BRENDON

brendon with techron: i feel so attacked right now
buT WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS GREMLIN KID THINK HE IS 

mick: brenDON STOP

vampirebag: i cant deal anymore
jesus fuckng shit holy mitherfucking chrst

frank wank: this is happening so fast its like when u reach the final level of a videogame and everything is ridiculously hard and u cant keep up and u try ur best but u just cant compete at that level and then eventually ur performance begins to slip and u know deep in ur heart ur gonna lose but ur not ready to give up so u hold on for as long as u can and u still t r y even though ur so tired and ur beaten down and u can barely even stand u still try as hard as u can bc ur a fighter u have always been a fighter u cant let them win not like this so u gather all ur strength for the last battle and u give it ur all and u do everything within ur power to win but u can see how bad ur losing bc u know ur not good enough u never were good enough it was all a lie u were never going to win anyway
sometimes its best just to give up before it goes too far

milky: damn frank who hurt u

frank wank: super mario sunshine hurt me

Chapter Text

milky: JUST A WARNING TO ANYONE WHO COMES OVER
GERARD AND FRANK ARE DOING THE SEXUAL IN THE BATHROOM 
THEY ARE SO LOUD ITS GROSS MY INNOCENT EARS HAVE BEEN TAINTED

bill bailey: they r consenting adults
well
consenting children

mom: mikey didnt u fuck pete wentz when u were like 12

milky: shuT
but yea if any of u fuckheads are planning to come over BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

- brother broken legs renamed the group BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

tyrant: arent we suppose to be having a rad partty tonight
bc i think that involves us coming over

milky: why is it always our house
lets go to someone elses house

josé: i vote tylers house

tyrant: i do not vote tylers house
my house is too clean for our escapades 

ryro: im coming as long as theres no lemons involved 
dying once was enough for me

bill bailey: honestly me and ryan are death buddies

mick: billie do not
thats sounds spooky

brendon with techron: well its almost halloween so

milky: its still september

brendon with techron: like i said its almost halloween

vampirebag: why is the chat named beware of the sexual
miKEY U TOLD TEHEM?

milky: i have to get this stuff off my chest every now and then or ill be in therapy for years

frank wank: we all overshare here anyway so idc
yep me and gerard had The Sex™ 

mom: yall might be weird kinky shits but i dont like hearing about my friends sexual experiences 

vampirebag: franks laying on my bed and he looks like a snacc

 

- ryro removed vampirebag from BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

mom: ????

ryro: he said sn*cc
cursed word
im blockibg him 

milky: ryan no 

brendon with techron: whats wrong with gerard appreciating and loving and praising his boyfriend

bill bailey: something u dont know how to do...

mick: biLLIE DO NOT

frank wank: ryan add him badk wtf

ryro: only if he promisises to never say sn*cc again ever

frank wank: he promises

 

- ryro added vampirebag to BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

vampirebag: hey ryan
frank looks like a snacc

ryro: I WILL REPORT U

 

- vampirebag removed ryro from BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

- brendon with techron added ryro to BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

- brendon with techron removed vampirebag from BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

- frank wank added vampirebag to BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

- vampirebag removed brendon with techron from BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

- ryro added brendon with techron to BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

 

mom: as son as i get to ur house im strabgling all of u

 

- mom removed ryro from BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

- mom removed brendon with techron from BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

- mom removed vampirebag from BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

- mom removed frank wank from BEWARE OF THE SEXUAL

 

milky: ray doesnt fuck around
hes such a good mom

bill bailey: wait
wheres dallon
he hasnt been here all day
someone find him

brother broken legs: more important request: someone rename me my legs are no lomnger broken

 

- tyrant changed brother broken legs's nickname to father fixed legs

 

josé: i juST INHALED RLLY HARD AND SWALLOWED MY NOTES TYLER WHY WOULD U DO THAT

tyrant: what notes

josé: im studying like a good student

father fixed legs: why the hell would u do that

josé: idk lmao i just wated to see what its like

tyrant: the real question here is
why were ur notes in ur mound

milky: joshs mound

josé: mikey behave 
that sounds weird
i do not have a mound

mom: what even is a mound

bill bailey: isnt that something do with a vagina

mick: um no??

bill bailey: yea it is
its the mound
mount pubic 
or something

tyrant: do u mean mons pubis

bill bailey: yes
i call it the mound

mom: im literally going to cry i cant do this 

mick: BILLIE "THE MOUND" ISNT EVEN PART OF THE VAGINA WHAT

bill bailey: IM SORRY IVE NEVER SEEN A REAL LIFE VAGINA

milky: what are u gay or something
hey everyones billies gay

bill bailey: shut up so are u

milky: im bi actually
but yea
like 50% gay

mom: did mikey just come out to us
i think mikey just came out to us
congratulations 

milky: thank

josé: im still physically sobbing over billie calling mons pubis "mount pubic"

tyrant: hi welcome to mount pubic

 

- father fixed legs renamed the group welcome to mount pubic

 

mick: mount pubic: population 0 bc were all gay as fuck

mom: mike i think guys have mounds as well

mick: i do not have a mound

mom: i said i think

father fixed legs: has any of us ever been to a sex education class ever
shoudnt they teach us this stuff

tyrant: inagine billie teaching a sex ed class
"and here we have mount pubis or as i like to call it: t h e  m o u n d"

father fixed legs: welcome to the mound can i interest u in a refreshing beverage 

mick: im calling it: tres  gonna open a bar and call it the mound

mom: u can tell how off the rails we get when the other 5 arent here to keep us in line

milky: ray its usually us keeping them in line what

mom: the moral of this story is
when half of us are taken away the other half start talking about vaginas 

bill bailey: i wodner what the otehr half are talking about

milky: i can hear gerard talking on the phone to ryan
he keep saying snacc and ryans just screaming 

father fixed legs: yea this is boring now im adding every1 back

 

- father fixed legs added vampirebag to welcome to mount pubic

 

- father fixed legs added brendon with techron to welcome to mount pubic

 

- father fixed legs added frank wank to welcome to mount pubic

 

- father fixed legs added ryro to welcome to mount pubic

 

father fixed legs: hi welcome to mount pubic otherwise known as the mound

ryro: why did u have a whole conversation about vaginas

bill bailey: it was a long winter we had nothing else to do

vampirebag: ryan how dare u hang up on me

frank wank: ryan thst just rude :/

ryro: stop saying sn*cc 

vampirebag: s
n
a
c
c

brendon with techron: if u dudes want u can throw ur wild party at my house my parents aret home we wont egt yelled at
also i have a fuck ton of alcohol and WEED
sorry my phone corrects weed to WEED bc i usually type it in caps bc im usually excited 

frank wank: druggo

bill bailey: okay 
i have to say it bc no one else is
where is dallon and why does no one care that hes not here

ryro: IM DYING 
BRENDON READ DALLONS NAME AND MADE A FACE
HE LOOKED SO DONE

bill bailey: ur with brendon?

ryro: no i can just magically tell what face he makes from 3 streets away
ofc im with him

mick: ryan the sass queen

bill bailey: okAY BUT AM I RLLYTHE ONLY ONE WHO SEES SOMETHING WRONG W/ THIS

brendon with techron: yes? thers literally nothing wrong with what were doing egt offf my dick gremlin

mom: tbh
brendpn is being kind of a dick

father fixed legs: being a dick is part of brendons personality tho 

milky: my phone died for a MINUTE and u guys are arguing again wtf

ryro: what is so wrong with me hanging out with brendon

bill bailey: am i the only one who sees whats happening here
brendon is ignoring his boyfriend and not even noticing hes not here bc hes too busy hanging with the guy he cheated on him with

milky: hEY I GOT YELLED AT WHEN I MENTIONED THE BRYALLON CLUSTERFUCK SOMEONE YELL AT BILLIE

mick: NO ONE YELL AT BILLIE

bill bailey: I WILL YELL AT MYSELF

mick: BILLIE DO NOT

father fixed legs: i see trE NO has gone out of style the new phrase is BILLIE DO NOT

 

- frank wank renamed the group BILLIE DO NOT

 

ryro: hey put mount pubic back ii liked that

vampirebag: im still laughing at "the mound"
why is it funny some1 explain

milky: bc ur literally 10

vampirebag: im 11 so shut the fuck up

bill bailey: well its nice to see none of u care aboust dallons feelings :)

ryro: dallon doesnt feel feelings he said it himself
and anyway why are u so fucking upset abt this its not like me and bren are fucking????

brendon with techron: we could if u want to ;))))))))

bill bailey: okay u know what buddy
@dallon where tf are u come see what the shit fit is doing now
hes being a cheating hoe again

brendon with techron: are u serously calling me shit fit again u little gremlin

bill bailey: if u can call me gremlin i can call u shit fit
also u are a shit fit

mom: someone change my nickname so i dont feel like i have to fix thinsg every time they fall apsrt
and thinsg fall apart every fucking day here now

 

- frank wank changed mom's nickname to anti mom

 

anti mom: what does that even mean

father fixed legs: it means theres some wild incest going on somewhere if ur the aunt AND the mom

frank wank: tre no
it means rays the mom friend of teh group but he doesnt do anything the mom friend is supposed to 
so hes the anti mom friend

brendon with techron: billie 1 question
why do u suddenly hate me

bill bailey: i dont hate u i just think ur being a major fuckstick right now
u keep obviously flirting with ryan and its just fucked up why are u even doing it

brendon with techron: is this any of ur business????
no
fuck the fuck off

josé: u guys dallons seeing all these messages u know

tyrant: hi dallon
are u okay

daldo: im done with this chat

 

- daldo left BILLIE DO NOT

Chapter Text

- Frank Iero created the group #stopryden2017

 

Frank Iero: guys we have the biggest fucking problem since the last bryallon clusterfuck
brendon is fuckingg full on MAKING OUT with ryan upstairs 
someone should stop them right
guys
ha fuck i just realized i didnt add anyone rip me 
why tf am i talking to myself

 

- Frank Iero added Gerard Way to #stopryden2017

 

- Frank Iero added Mikey Way to #stopryden2017

 

- Frank Iero added Ray Toro to #stopryden2017

 

 

Frank Iero: @ all of u: read my last message
but ignore the last part

Gerard Way: how drunk areu

Frank Iero: only a little
gerard pls focus
bigger problems here

Mikey Way: hey whys brendon makinb ourw wttdh ruan when he datbig dadlldon 

Frank Iero: i can already tell ur way to shitfaced to help
ray?

Ray Toro: i just threw up in the pool 

Gerard Way: ray brendon doesnt eveb have a ppool?

Ray Toro: oh
shit
where te fucck am i then

Mikey Way: doed any of u gsuys ever thinj sbout the futrtrttue an hwo wer allready pretty fuckled up

Gerard Way: "fuckled up" 

 

- Ray Toro renamed the group we are all fuckled up

 

Frank Iero: miley i will removf u if u contin bcing distracfitng 

 

- Gerard Way changed Mikey Way's nickname to miley

 

miley: waiu
whered th erst of the sqad
wher is my boiiii tre

Frank Iero: tre is busy giving an unkneon stranger a lap danmce 
miked
focus

Ray Toro: wait frak why didu create a nw group

Frank Iero: oh my GOD ray
brendon and ryan are almosy fuckinggf and i had to telld u guys so w can sOTOP rhem and save dallno from any(more) heartbrseak

 

- Gerard Way renamed the group sOTOP 

 

Gerard Way: i drank oo much oh my ygod
i think ima goona throw up in a minite

Frank Iero: where even are u guyz

miley: iDK

Gerard Way: @ bernards house

miley: lmao bernard

Gerard Way: who
im at brensons house

Frank Iero: yea saMe 
we alls are i thikn

Ray Toro: ia m soewhere with a swimmin pool

miley: can i add 3

Frank Iero: who

miley: u knw
tre
i cal lhim 3 bc tre mean 3

Frank Iero: no
hell prnbably go tell dalon abot bendon & ryab

miley: wjatabout brendon and ryaN

Frank Iero: oh my gdo mikey
pls do not
garage conrol ur broethr

 

- Ray Toro changed Gerard Way's nickname to garage

 

garage: what he fuck frank i thought u lovd me

Frank Iero: no thats gay

garage: u smell like alcohol and cigarets abd hiNESTLY its turbing me onn wha T

Frank Iero: why r u text me whe n u are liteally rigth next to me

garage: why did u tetxt back

Ray Toro: i foun billie can i add billie hea wanst o be added

Frank Iero: nO ray

 

- Ray Toro added Billie Joe Armstrong to sOTOP

 

Billie Joe Armstrong: HOLYS SHDHJIT DID U GUS SEE BWHAT BREDON AND RYAN AER DOIG 
yhey have TONGUE in ech others MOUTH

Frank Iero: ray cna u not f0llow orders
i sai dno billie
fuck it am adding ty hes the only semi soeber [erson isee riht now

 

- Frank Iero added Tyler Joseph to sOTOP

 

miley: whoa how long hads tyer been here

Tyler Joseph: okay first of all how are u gusy even capable of typung right now
also 
hAVE U SEEN WHAT SINFUL THINSG BRENDO AND RYAN AR DOING

Ray Toro: lmao gerararard and frank have fone to have sex i thank

Billie Joe Armstrong: ty whwo are u no drink 

Tyler Joseph: i dont feel like drinkin tonight
i onlu came to keep an eye on jsh and also to see the brallon drama buut sadly dallon isnst here so

Billie Joe Armstrong: yea no dallons mAD at allo f us i thtnk

miley: oh no

Ray Toro: ????

miley: pepe is here

Tyler Joseph: the meme?

miley: not pepe
peTE
peter wentz

Billie Joe Armstrong: go getlaid mieky
have fun
be safe

miley: sur thang daddyo

Tyler Joseph: i dont htink i can handl u guys when ur this drunk
wait is mikey literally going to fuck pete

Ray Toro: yea
mkey and pete hae a kind ot thing goibg on

Tyler Joseph: okay but im like 98% sure petes with some dude called patrikc
o h well
u guys can sort this out tomorrow when ur all hungover and craving death

Billie Joe Armstrong: boy i alrady knOw tomrornw is fonan be a TRAINWRECK

Ray Toro: shoukd 1 of us sort out brendon and ryan
shoudld w e tel dallon

Tyler Joseph: no dont tell him
at leats not right now
wait until everyones sober or someone will literally die tonight
i know i came for the Drama™ but i dont want to witness a murder

garage: am back
have returned
whos murdeirng who

Billie Joe Armstrong: why diD teh frOnt window jst braek 

Tyler Joseph: oh my god who the fuck just drove a car into the front of brendons house
oh my fucking god its josh
i have to go immeditaely 

 

- Tyler Joseph left sOTOP

 

Frank Iero: no :9
wel lost our tokken sober persn

Ray Toro: :9 is my favorite emojo

Billie Joe Armstrong: are u serious
mike is literlay pased out in a BUSh
he so cute i llloev him

miley: gusy go leave right no go go go

Ray Toro: mikey ur back
did u have fun with pepe

garage: why si pepe here

miley: ys had f un 
but go now go
the cops ar outsidE

Frank Iero: out ht bck doorgo  gO

Billie Joe Armstrong: do u think moke will be ok ih the bush

Ray Toro: ths was wiLD fom start to finish 
but now im tird nd sick and im gong home

garage: same

miley: SMAME

Frank Iero: grard i coming to urhouse

garage: more sex?

Frank Iero: binfgo

 

- Billie Joe Armstrong renamed the group binfgo

Chapter Text

- Ray Toro added Mikey Way, Gerard Way, Frank Iero, Tyler Joseph, Josh Dun, Bille Joe Armstong, Mike Dirnt, and Tré Cool to the anti ryden club

 

Mike Dirnt: first of all how dare u 
u DELETED our chat
DELETED IT
and then didnt make a new one for TWO WHOLE WEEKS
ur lucky i didnt block ur ass

Mikey Way: yes ray i agree what the fuck is up w/ that

Ray Toro: do nto stress me out mijey
i havent even began to sort out the brallon mess yet

Billie Joe Armstrong: oh yes
i forgot about all that
Fuck™

 

- Gerard Way changed Mikey Way's nickname to mijey

 

mijey: ayyy

Gerard Way: ayyy
u have to change mine now its the rules

mijey: no

Tré Cool: yall wanna hear a funny story??
i got sent to the principal for setting my book on fire and he was like "what are u some kind of arsonist"
and i was like no im an ASSonist ;)))
and i sweAR TO FUCKING GOD he WINKED at me

Josh Dun: um
thats worrying considering ur  literally 15 and hes like 70

Tré Cool: hey if i consent why does it matter

Frank Iero: tre pls do not fuck the principal

Billie Joe Armstrong: im crying ray is literally staring at his phone making the "ill wait" face that teachers make

mijey: ray honestly u should know by now we cant fix anything

Ray Toro: yes ty mikey i fucking know we cant fix thiis but we need to do something

Frank Iero sent a photo to the anti ryden club

Tyler Joseph: okAY FRANK WHY
I COME INTO THE CHAT AND THE FIRST THING I SEE IS A PENIS

Gerard Way: fuccboi frank
FUCCBOI FRANK

 

- Gerard Way changed Frank Iero's nickname to fuccboi frank 

 

Billie Joe Armstrong: gerard audibly gasped when he got that idea and the teacher toold him to shut up ha get rekt

fuccboi frank: oH MY GOD WRONG PHOTO ABORT ABORT ABORT

mijey: FRANK STOP MAKING SIREN NOISES UR CAUSING A SCENE
F R A N K 
U ARE LITERALLY YODELLING WHAT THE FUCK ST O P        

Gerard Way: hey i appreciated the dick pic

fuccboi frank: okay that was embarrassing lol lets pretend that didnt happen

Tyler Joseph: ^^ me at any given moment

fuccboi frank sent a photo to the anti ryden club

Tré Cool: hey look its us
jesus how wrecked were we

Josh Dun: tre u spelled rekt wrong
no wait nvm 
i forgot rekt isnt an actual word 

 

- Tyler Joseph changed Josh Dun's nickname to josh the living meme

 

fuccboi frank: that photo perfectly sums up billies life 
look at him aw
screaming so hard hes turned red

Mike Dirnt: why were u screaming tho

Billie Joe Armstrong: fuck if i know

Tré Cool: it sums up my entire existence too
i have a bunch of grapes in my hand a pen up my nose and im griding on some dude

josh the living meme: thats not "some dude" thats spencer

Tré Cool: who

Billie Joe Armstrong: hes one of brendons friends
hes also the guy that mike called spanky pants and then he  got upset when he slapped him
mike u remember

Mike Dirnt: oh god i yes i remember that 
he has a hard slap

mijey: mike im cRYINF why would u call him spanky pants

Mike Dirnt: it sounded funnier in my head okay 

Ray Toro: okay thats it yall have 2 minutes to pay attention or ill start removing ppl

Gerard Way: oh my gOD RAY what d u want

Ray Toro: I WANT U TO HELP ME DEAL WITH THE MESS BRENDON AND RYAN MADE

josh the living meme: me and ty are still kinda new here so we dont know what to do
what do u guys usually do to get out of a mess

mijey: well usually we create an even bigger mess and the new mess cancels the old mess out
like when mike cheated on billie with tre so gerard cheated on frank with billie and then everything was magically fixed

Mike Dirnt: hey we dont talk about those times

Tyler Joseph: so its kind of like when the billie drama was happening and we fixed it by literally kidnapping his step dad

Billie Joe Armstrong: wait what

Tyler Joseph: whTA I DONT KNOW WHY ARE U ASKING ME
STOP ASKING QUESTIONS GO AWAY I DIDNT DO IT I DONT KNOW
IT WAS DALLONS IDEA BLAME HIM NOT ME F U C K O F F

Billie Joe Armstrong: WHAT WAS DALLONS IDEA
WHAT DID U FUCKING DO

Tyler Joseph: WE KNEW ABOUT UR STEP DAD AND WHAT HE WAS DOING AND WE WANTED TO HELP SO DALLON MADE A PLAN TO KIDNAP HIM AND WE DID IT
IF U WANNA PUNCH ANYONE GO PUNCH DALLON OKAY LEAVE ME OUT OF IT

 

- Billie Joe Armstrong left the anti ryden club

 

josh the living meme: IM SCREECHING TYLER WHY 

Ray Toro: tyler when i said i wanted u to help i didnt mean i wanted u tO FUCK UP SO BADLY WE MIGHT AS WELL ALL GET SHOT RIGHT NOW

fuccboi frank: boiiii billies mad as hell he just walked past my class he looks so godDAMN ANGRY 

Mike Dirnt: oh my god wheres he going
tyler hes coming for u 

josh the living meme: IM DECEASED OH MY FRICKING GOD
TYLER JUST FUCKING YELLED "YEET" AND JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW

Gerard Way: jessu is he okay

josh the living meme: yea were not v high up he shoud live

mijey: boiiiiiiiiiiiiii
listen
u guys
billies not coming for tyler
hes going to dallon 
WE NEE TO DAVE HIM FROM THE GOBLIN KINGS WRATH

Tré Cool: "dave him"
dave
dildo dave
damn i miss my day in prison with that dude

Gerard Way: mikey do u not remember when billie and dallon got in a fight once before
dallon almost killed him hell be fine

Mike Dirnt: yea but billie wasnt actually pissed off that time
im 90% sure hes pissed off now

josh the living meme: summon rbrendon hell save him
oh wait no 
shit

Ray Toro: stab me with a spork i cannot deal

fuccboi frank: okay mikey just practucally teleported to get to the drama i worr about that kid

mijey: frank do not call me "that kid" i am a month older than u 
also i am fine but hOLY SHIT THIS IS W I L D

Tyler Joseph: i almost killed myself and he wasnt even coming for me what bullshit
but im hyped for the drama yes

Mike Dirnt: i dont want anyone to get hurt but at the same time this is so damn exciting boyy

mijey: im watching from a safe distnace i will keep u guys posted until u get here
okay so billie just fucking walked into dallons class
dallon looks confused and very sad

Gerard Way: confused and sad is my aesthetic 

fuccboi frank: same 

Tré Cool: fran k and gerard are relationship goals holy shit
but continue mikey

mijey: mike why is ur boyfriend so damn loud 
control him
keep him on a leash

Tré Cool: kinky

Mike Dirnt: trE

mijey: hes yelling 
he is s c r e a m i n g
i feel for dallon rn hes so confused and scared bless

Tyler Joseph: mike pls stop ur boyfriend from committing actual murder
again

Mike Dirnt: tyler this is ur fault u fuck

mijey: place ur bets folks whos gonna throw the first punch
also brendons just watching he looks so damn awkward
and ryan is just kind of hovering around like what

fuccboi frank: lmao why did i just picture ryan floating around while everyone screams at each other
wait does dallon know what brendon did yet

mijey: no i dont think so but he looks mad about brendon being a flirty shithead
which just makes this 200000x worse

Gerard Way: im betting on billie he punches ppl a lot

josh the living meme: yea same my moneys on billie

Ray Toro: yea billie for sure

mijey: hOLY FUCK I AM S NDYCUJK FUCKKC
I AM SHAKING 
BILLIE U CANT DO THAT

Mike Dirnt: that sentence is never good 
ig ill come tie him up or some shit

Tré Cool: kinkyx2

Mike Dirnt: trE STO P

Tyler Joseph: mikey u cant send a sentence that good and  then not explain whats happening 

mijey: i got too shook i couldnt typer sorry
basically billie jumped up and headbutted dallon and dallon fell over and then billie started deSTROYING HIM and dallon managed to hit billie like 5 times but then FUCKING BRENDON CAME OUT OF NOWHERE and tackled billie and now theres some sort of violent orgy happening on the floor and the teacher just sighed and walked out
ryans recording it

 

- Tré Cool renamed the group the anti ryden club aka the violent orgy

 

josh the living meme: but why is brendon defending dallon
and why isnt ryan defending brendon
love triangles are Strange™

Ray Toro: its not a love triangle josh
its brendon and ryan being shitheads

Gerard Way: wow
dallon looks like he got mauled by a fucking bear
mike are u sure billies human 

fuccboi frank: hes not human hes the goblin king remember 

mijey: aaaaaand billie brendon and dallon are the first ones to get suspended this year

Ray Toro: im never trying to help ever again oh my god

Chapter Text

- fuccboi frank renamed the group dick me down papi

 

Gerard Way: fRANK DONT U DDARE

 

- fuccboi frank changed Gerard Way's nickname to papi

 

Mike Dirnt: i have some mild concerns

papi: he keeps calling me papi even tho its gross and cringy

mijey: wow thanks i rlly needed to know that 

fuccboi frank: liar liar plants for hire
u almost nutted the first time i called u papi

papi: FERNK

 

- Tyler Joseph changed fuccboi frank's nickname to fernk

 

fernk: hey

 

- fernk changed Tyler Joseph's nickname to hoe-seph

 

hoe-seph: bitch

 

- fernk changed Tré Cool's nickname to 3

 

3: thanks bud
also billie would like to rejoin the squad 

 

- 3 added Billie Joe Armstrong to dick me down papi

 

Billie Joe Armstrong: papi? ooh kinky ;)

papi: do not

Mike Dirnt: billie holy shit ur back

Billie Joe Armstrong: i am
also
i have some things i would like to say to u all

josh the living meme: go ahead

Billie Joe Armstrong: 1. im sorry for freaking out and causing a riot
2. im greateful for what u guys did for me but lets not ever talk about it okay good
3. why has dallon suddenly started playing football

Mike Dirnt: wait ur not mad
thats strange and nice

3: u are forgiven for going off the rails agin

Billie Joe Armstrong: thank

mijey: hang on did i read that right
dallons started playing foorball??

Billie Joe Armstrong: yea i saw him like 5 mins ago
hes got a load of asshole football playing friends now and theyre all big and mean
dallon is also big and mean
i didnt realize how scary he is when hes not being gay

fernk: "i didnt realize how scary he is when hes not being gay"
billie my man
i do not think u can just turn off being gay

Billie Joe Armstrong: try telling dall that
hes suddenly turned into a straight football douchebag

mijey: gross

josh the living meme: rip dallon

3: the old dallon cant come to the phone right now
why?
oh because hes straight now ew

hoe-seph: kicking him out of the squad ew ew ew

Mike Dirnt: hey thats not nice
hes going through a hard time

papi: going throigh a hard time is no excuse for being straight michael

Ray Toro: wazzup gays
i have returned from the void with news

josh the living meme: ray my boy where have u been

Ray Toro: i have been gathering information and i may have solved the drama
maybe
oh hi bijo

Billie Joe Armstrong: henlo
ooh bijo i like that

 

- Billie Joe Armstrong changed their own nickname to bijo

 

hoe-seph: someome change mu name back to tyjo so it fits with bijo

fernk: change ur own name

hoe-seph: im lazy

josh the living meme: i gotchu bby <3

 

- josh the living meme changed hoe-seph's nickname to tyjo

 

3: relationship like joshler plz

Mike Dirnt: u r too wild for the domestic life

3: tru tru
im cursed to be that guy who drifts from town to town and hooks up with shady dudes in shady bars

papi: those type of guys are p sick tho
i wish u many one night stands 

fernk: am i shady enough for u gee

papi: yes
u are the shadiest dude
ily

fernk: ily2

mijey: now we need ryan back to create the holy trinity of bijo tyjo and ryro

Ray Toro: well if u guys listen u might get ur wish

josh the living meme: what gossip do u have today ramen
*raymond 

 

- fernk changed Ray Toro's nickname to ramen

 

fernk: it had to be done ramen

papi: that just reminded me how hungry i am fuck

ramen: i know this is a wild concept and that u guys have probbaly never heard of
but can u maybe all pay attention to me for like 1 minute

Mike Dirnt: listen to me noodleboi
none of us can focus on anything for more than 2 seconds
if u wanna grab our attention u have to talk about something WILD

bijo: noodleboi noodleboi noodleboi

papi: hey considering mikes the onnly one w/out a nickname he has to be named noodleboi now its the rules

 

- bijo changed Mike Dirnt's nickname to noodleboi

 

noodleboi: i want an official ceremony 

bijo: i hereby dub thee 

tyjo: shouldnt mike be on his knees for this

bijo: yea get on ur knees u lil bitch 

noodleboi: gladly ;)

mijey: is it me or is it getting sexual in here

bijo: i mean kneel for the CEREMONY mikey jfc
do u rlly think i would let mike suck me off in the middle of english
i mean i totally would but im trying to behave 

josh the living meme: are u literally going to knight mike as noodleboi in the middle of english
damn son i have to go watch this

papi: same

3: samex2

fernk: billie didnt u legit just get let back into school today

bijo: i live life on the wild side my man i do what i want and i make my own rules

3: dont u need a sword to knight somone

mijey: remember what happened last time with the sword?? not good was it
leave the swords out of this pls

bijo: i hereby dub thee
sir noodleboi of house noodle
arise good sir and lets go get mcdonalds
im hungry as shit

josh the living meme: tats the single greatest sentence ive ever read
"arise good sir and lets go get mcdonalds"

fernk: hey mike ur a knight now
are u ready for this

noodleboi: dont like responsibility

3: with great power comes great noodles

ramen: im giving u all 2 minutes to pay attention before i remove u all

papi: remove me and ill remove ur kidneys

ramen: i dont need my kidneys

tyjo: we have more than 1 kidney???

noodleboi: yes tyler there are more than 1 kidney in the chat
currently there are 16 kidneys in the chat

bijo: *15
tres missing one

fernk: what
why
more importantly how 

3: listen
what happened in that dungeon was a mistake
none of us are proud of it but whats done is done and we have to accept that

mijey: so... u lost a kidney in a dungeon?

3: yes
and a testicle too

bijo: well theyre not lost 
we know exactly who has them

3: i knew we should never have trusted dr dingleberry 

bijo: i dont think he was a real doctor

3: but he had one of those white coats on and his name tag said "i am doctor man"

bijo: some people are good 
too good
he may have taken tres kidney and testicle but he  didnt take our lives

3: he almost did

bijo: yea he almost did
i still get nightmares about the spikes and the chains

3: dont forget the acid pit he dug into the ground

bijo: oh man that was the worst
my pinky finger almost went in that

fernk: that was... insane from start to finish
and mildly horrifying please do not go into a dungeon ever again

noodleboi: what have we learned today kiddos
we learned that billie and tre should never be allowed to go out alone ever

ramen: how about we all learn to pAY ATTENTION TO RAY
I KNOW SOME INFO AND U ALL SHOULD KNOW IT TOO
ALSO I MAY BE ABLE TO FIX BRALLON
MAYBE

papi: go ahead o wise one bless us with ur knowledge

ramen: its kind of confusing so im adding ryan to explan it

 

- ramen added Ryan Ross to dick me down papi

 

mijey: yESY RYRO I HAVE TO DO THIS 

 

- mijey changed Ryan Ross's nickname to ryro

 

bijo: tHE HOLY TRIANGLE IS COMPLETE
HOLY TRINIDAD
HOLY TRICYCLE 
okay u guys know what im getting at yea??

 

- papi renamed the group bijo tyjo and ryro: the holy tricycle 

 

tyjo: im confused
dont we hate ryan at the moment??

ramen: yea no this isnt rlly his faulT
we kind of hated him for no reason lol oops

3: wait
this ISNT ryans fault??

bijo: how

ryro: bevause brendon told me he broke up with dallon 
and yea i know i still shouldnt have made out with him but hey i was drunk and as far as i knew he was single

3: im actulaly gonna beat the shit out of brendon
dallon deserves so much better what the actual fuck

fernk: so brendon and dallon are still together???
i thoight dallon woulda dumped his ass by now

ramen: no theyre still together
i mean they havent spoke to each other for like a week but theyre stilll in some kidn of relatiobship 

ryro: well its about time u guys hear the full story of mine and brendons history ig

mijey: ooh this is exciting

josh the living meme: hang on let me get comfy

ryro: so me and brendon met when we were like 6
we were bffs 

tyjo: oH
welp
this is new and shiny information
continue please ryan

ryro: when me and bren were about 14 we got together and we were in a serious relationship for like 2 years (goals am i rite???)
but then we had a pretty bad breakup which was kind of my fault oops
but hey i felt bad about it i was gonna apologize and make it right
but fucking brendon got with dallon straight away bc he didnt wanna deal with his feeligs and shit
so i admit i got a lil salty and stopped talking to brendon 
but then he came to me that night and said he broke up with dallon which was a L I E and all that happened
but hey it got fixed me and dall became friendos and we moved on
and now its happening again and just ugh fuckig stop 

mijey: so what ur saying is
brendon was just using dallon as a rebound

ryro: yea
but i think he actually does love him now

noodleboi: does dallon even know about the making out at the party yet

ryro: no

papi: well this sux
damn why can we never have simple lives

noodleboi: its bc were all gay
the world hates us

ramen: we can fix this tho right??

3: yes we just permanently remove brendon from the squad
problem solved

bijo: i mean hes an asshole
but it wouldnt be the same without him

noodleboi: i actually agree
like
imagine the pirates of the caribbean movies
thats our squad
taking away brendon is like taking away on stranger tides

3: that was a shitty movie anyway

josh the living meme: yea no one even liked on stranger tides

noodleboi: but u get what i mean tho right

mijey: OKAY LISTEN UP
YALL ARE GONNA HATE ME FOR WHAT IM ABOUT TO DO
BUT IT WORKED OUT LAST TIME SOOOO

 

- mijey added Brendon Urie to bijo tyjo and ryro: the holy tricycle

 

- mijey changed the group settings

 

papi: mikEY DONT DO THAT

ryro: oh my god did mikey just do that thing where no one can leave 

fernk: yes 
fuck
mikey why are u like this
gerard u should lock him up in the basement or something

Brendon Urie: holy shit kill me now

3: u better pray brenny boy because im coming for ur ass

 

- josh the living meme changed Brendon Urie's nickname to brenny boy

 

brenny boy: listen
i know im a terrible persoN
i fucked up and i hate myself okay
tre feel free to kick my ass i deserve it

3: yes u do 
why tf are u like this

brenny boy: i have a lot of shit going on right now and the only way i know how to handle it is by causing completet chaos
its not a n excuse i know im a dick
wait fuck is dallon here

ryro: no bc some of us actually care about his feelings

noodleboi: drag him ryan

bijo: oh yea btw brendon ur "boyfriend" is now a straight football playing letterman wearing douchebag 

brenny boy: forreal?

bijo: yea forreal 
hes terrifying when hes like this
hes like a walking tower of terror

fernk: thats because hes 8 feet tall

brenny boy: actually hes 6'3
1.9 metres 
idek why i know this

ramen: brendon pls stop acting like u dont give a shit its painfully obvoos how much u care about him

brenny boy: ....
yes i do okay
god fucking damn it
i love that giraffe boy

tyjo: go get ur man brenbob

brenny boy: how
billie just said hes one of the football assholes now
theyll murder me

3: oh well

brenny boy: u know what
im gonna tell him the truth
ill tell him everything and hey if he wants to break up thats the way things are

josh the living meme: go brendon go 
go get daldo back

bijo: real talk we should rlly get dallon away from the football jerks before it goes tooo far and he starts turning into a typical jock asshole

papi: we ride at dawn
were gonna save our fren dallon from the football shitdicks
and possible renunite him with brendon 

 

- noodleboi renamed the group OPERATION SAVE DALLON

Chapter Text

noodleboi: i deserve an award for putting up with billie 
im going gray i swear

3: we all deserve an award for putting up with billie

noodleboi: no i deserve an extra award 
hes high as fuck and out of control and its so funny that i cant even be helpful right now

papi: i wanna see high billie i love high billie
but im in detention again so

mijey: what did u do now

papi: spat gum at tywin again

noodleboi: hang on
ill tell billie to share his newfound wisdom with the chta

tyjo: this should be fun

bijo: list5en../
a ceiling fan

fernk: pepsi just came out of my nose billie what the fuck lmao

 

- tyjo renamed t