The first time Jack had sneaked into Merritt’s bed was when Henley had left them.
It was ok.
They both needed the comfort, because it had hurt so damn much.
No words were left between them this night.
Just sleeping back to back.
A silent confirmation that they were still there for each other.
The next morning Merritt woke up to an empty bed.
It was ok.
During winter Jack sneaked into his bed a second time. Drunk and half frozen to death, begging for shelter for one night.
The older man had been surprised, but of course he had taken him in.
After a warm shower, he had wrapped Jack up in his blankets and put him to bed.
Feeling weird, but relieved, when the younger horsemen snuggled closer to him.
They hadn't seen each other for two month.
Just some notes or calls, that they were still alive. Merritt had missed him.
The next morning he woke up with Jack in his arms.
He was confused about the warm and fuzzy feeling in his guts.
But it was good.
After that night they decided to share Merritt's apartment.
Merritt couldn't allow Jack to go back on the streets anymore, so he bought a bunk bed and suggested to the younger man, that he could teach him how to throw cards properly for rent.
So they did.
Merritt enjoyed their life.
Coming home to Jack felt good and while having dinner together, watching TV or falling asleep on the couch next to each other, the warm and fuzzy feeling grew into something more.
Something he hadn't felt in a long time.
The middle-aged horsemen knew what it was.
And oh he was so good at denying it.
Then Lula came into their lives and everything changed.
Lula was in love and Jack fell in love and Merritt buried his feelings deep down into a corner of his heart, he would never visit again.
He put on his smile and he talked himself into being happy for Jack and Lula.
And he was.
But oh he missed him so much.
The third time Jack sneaked into his bed was almost 2 years after they had moved to the mansion of the Eye.
The eldest of the horsemen had had a little accident in the shower then.
It wasn't something to serious; at least that was what he told the other members of the Eye.
He got a bruise on his head and a wounded ego from slipping in the shower and he claimed that, after some weird tasting tea from Bu Bu and an examination from Dylan, he was totally fine.
That he had felt a little bit dizzy before he had slipped, he kept secret.
He hoped that it was a one-time thing and that he just caught a cold or something.
Of course he got older, but he wasn't that old.
He was a little bit offended, when the other horsemen talked him into staying in bed for the day, but he did it anyway.
So he was propped up on pillows, in the middle of his bed, reading a book BuBu had given him, ignoring that weird tasting tea on his night stand.
Jack would stick his head through the door every now and then, asking how he was feeling.
Merritt would tell him that he was fine, without looking up from his book.
He could tell that Jack was worried and for some reason it annoyed the hell out of him.
When Jack came for the ninth time into his room, with that worried puppy look on his face the older man snapped.
"Can you please quit it?!" he asked annoyed.
"Quit what?" Jack asked confused.
Was that a bowl of soup in his hands?
„Pampering me! I just slipped, everybody could have slipped in the shower" he growled.
Jack still looked confused at him.
He couldn't understand why Merritt was so mad at him, he just wanted to help.
"I'm sorry for worrying about you" he snapped back angrily.
"I don't need your pity! I know that I'm growing old without your helping, thank you!" Merritt said.
That’s what that was all about; a hurt ego.
"Merritt" he started, but the older men interrupted him.
"Just shut the fuck up and leave me alone!" he growled at Jack.
"Fine, be like that!" the younger one yelled and with the soup in his hands he stomped out of Merritt's room.
Merritt sighed sadly, when Jack had left.
God damn, he didn’t want to be mad at Jack and he didn’t want to make that kid mad at him, but he couldn’t help it.
It wasn’t just a hurt ego; he was also worried that he was growing too old for the Eye.
He wasn’t ready to give up this life just yet.
In the middle of the night Merritt got woken up by Jack, as the younger man climbed into his bed.
“Jack? What are you doing?” he asked confused, voice hoarse from sleep.
The other male wore a stern expression on his face, but Merritt was too sleepy to read his intentions.
So it took him with surprise, when Jack leaned over him. “I’ll show you what I think about you and your ‚I’m growing too old for everything‘ attidude” Jack hissed before he pressed his lips to Merritt’s in a sudden kiss.
Merritt didn’t respond at first, he was too confused to react.
Why was Jack kissing him?
Why did it felt so good?
And why was he still so madly in love with that kid?
When Jack climbed on top of him, kissing him a little bit more forcefully, Merritt stopped thinking and got lost into the sensation.
He rolled them around; deepening the kiss in that process.
Jack sighed happily under him.
The younger man put his arms around Merritt, pressing their bodies closer together.
Merritt let one hand slip under Jack’s night shirt, a little bit surprised by the softness of the skin beneath his fingertips.
As an answer to his actions, Jack rolled his hips against the older mans earning a surprised moan from him.
Enthusiastically, he wanted to repeat it, but Merritt pulled suddenly away from him.
Jack’s already hard member against his groin brought Merritt back from his trance.
What was he doing here?
That boy had a girlfriend!
Mad and disgusted at himself he rolled away, trying to get out of the bed.
Why hadn’t he thought of that poor girl earlier, before he had made out with her boyfriend shamelessly?
Jack grabbed his wrist to stop him.
“What are you doing?” he asked, confusion and hurt filled his voice.
“I thought about Lula” Merritt said, trying to pull his wrist away, but Jack’s grip was stronger than he thought.
In any other situation he would have laughed about his own stupidity.
Jack Wilder wasn’t the tallest man but he was well build and trained and from living on the streets pretty good in self-defense.
So no wonder it took him nothing to hold Merritt in place.
But Merritt didn’t laugh, he couldn’t.
“Why are you thinking about Lula right now?” Jack groaned frustrated and with a big pout on his handsome face.
Merritt looked at him in shock.
Did that kid just turn into an asshole?
Ok, Jack wasn’t as innocent as he looked.
He had been a thief most of his life and had taking advantage of a lot of girls to get some money, but normally he wasn’t that mean.
He and Lula were in a relationship for two years now and that between them was a little bit more than just some cozy chit-chat.
“Are you going nuts?” Merritt asked angrily, raising his voice a little bit.
Something he usually didn’t, at least not with Jack.
The younger one looked alarmed.
“Look I talked to Lula about this. God dammit she also convinced me to finally confess everything to you” he said, trying to calm Merritt down.
“ I’m not that naive to believe, that she is completely fine with this and it will be awkward for a bit, but I’m sure the three of us can figure it out” he continued with a soft smile.
He knew it had been a bad idea to surprise Merritt like this, climbing in his bed, kissing him and stuff like that, but it had been easier for him this way.
Merritt was good with words, as Jack was with actions.
The older man shook his head.
“I don’t want to figure this out Jack. Lula and you are in a relationship. Thank you, but I’m not up for these kind of things” he said sternly but also confused. This was too much for him.
Maybe he had fallen in love with Jack a while ago, but he had been ok by denying it.
He had pushed his feelings so far away, that he could be happy for these two.
And now they ripped his wounds open again?
He was definitely growing too old for that kind of shit. “Please let me go” he said.
“I can’t” Jack said quietly, but he let go of Merritt’s wrist. The older man looked at him and the sight of the other male broke his heart.
He looked like a picture of misery, with his sad brown eyes and tousled hair.
“You have to, go back to Lula” Merritt said softly, but Jack just shook his head.
“Lula broke up with me six month ago, because she figured out how I’m really feeling about you. God damn I tried to deny it so hard, but she is right. I’m madly in love with you and have been so for the past three years. I can’t go back and she doesn’t want me back Merritt” Jack told him.
Merritt frowned at him.
“I hadn’t noticed that you broke up” he said completely confused.
When did this happen?
“That what makes you the worst mentalist of all time. You also helped me to move into the room at the end of the corridor” he said, scooting slowly closer to Merritt, who still tried to figure out why he hadn’t noticed that the two had broken up.
He could remember that one day Jack hat pressed a big box into his arms, asking him if he could bring it into a room.
But it was just one box and he hadn’t thought much of it.
“Either you are lying to me or I’m really growing old” he mumbled.
“In that case…you are growing old” Jack whispered, before he kissed Merritt again.
The kiss was quick and shy.
A little test, if it was safe again to get a little bit closer to the other man.
Merritt didn’t pulled away, but he still didn’t look very convinced, so the younger man kissed him again.
The older one let him and he let himself get pulled back into the pillows.
Lula and Jack weren’t together?
So this was ok?
Could they figure that out?
Does he want to figure that out?
“God I was so worried about you today” Jack said quietly; fingers stroking carefully over the bruise on Merritt’s forehead.
“I told you I’m fine” Merritt said.
“You always say that you are fine and I believed you often enough. So it really shocked me, when you got hurt today” Jack said sadly.
Merritt sighed frustrated.
He had enough from those sad eyes already and he couldn’t resist the urge anymore to pull that kid against him.
So he did.
“Stop crying already, will ya?” he said annoyed, but pressed a soft kiss to Jack’s forehead.
Jack looked up at him, a soft smile around his lips. “Just one more thing” he said quietly.
“Can you remember the night during winter 3 years ago? It was so cold outside and I was drunk. You were the only person I truly called home so I came to you.
I was so happy, when you asked me to stay with you and I really had enjoyed our life together.
I really liked it, when it was just the two of us and then there were this night.
We both had fallen asleep on the couch and I woke up in your arms.
I felt so happy and save there and for a moment I thought that this was all I ever wanted and I wanted to stay like this.
Just you and I for the rest of our lives in that shitty apartment of yours, but then that thought scared me.
The feelings I had and still have for you scared me and I knew I wasn’t ready to handle them.
I was afraid to get hurt and I didn’t want you to get hurt. And then came Lula and gave me the perfect escape from those feelings.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved her.
I really did, but my feelings for you never changed.
They just got stronger and Lula saw this and that’s why she broke up with me.
I know that I hurt her in the most unforgivable way and it will hurt her a little bit longer, but she gave me her blessing and that’s enough for me not to run away from my feelings anymore.
Today showed me that I can’t deny them anymore, that I can’t stay away from you anymore…I’m in love with you Merritt and when you see a chance for us…please let us take it and…” he came no further because Merritt kissed him.
“If you don’t stop talking you will hyperventilate.” the older man said and when Jack wanted to open his mouth again, he kissed him again.
“Hush now” he said between soft kisses.
Jack threw his arms around him, kissing back happily.
For a moment he was sure he had lost Merritt as well, so it almost brought him close to tears, when the older man showered him in kisses; murmuring something about his own feelings.
Soon soft kisses turned passionate and soft moans filled the small bedroom.
Clothes were being pulled off, hands were stroking over skin, mapping every part and angle of the other’s body. Mouths travelling around; kissing, nipping, marking. Sticky air, hot and sweaty bodies rubbing against each other, soft lips meeting in sloppy kisses, begging for more.
Merritt reached down, taking their members in his hand, stroking slowly.
Earning a desperate moan from the other man.
He kissed him again, stroking faster, but before Jack got lost he stopped him.
“W…wait...” he breathed against his lips.
It took Merritt a moment but he did.
Jack leaned over the bed, fishing for his sweat pants. When he came up again he had some lube and a condom in his hand.
“Did you plan this?” he asked amused.
“I was hoping for it” Jack answered pulling Merritt back into a kiss and pressing the utensils in his hands.
Merritt chuckled again.
“Have you have ever done something like that?” he asked, nipping on Jack’s neck.
“Kind of…with Lula” Jack confessed.
Merritt looked at him with one raised eyebrow.
The younger man’s face was bright red and he tried not to look Merritt in the eyes.
“Ok…let’s talk about that another time. Are you sure you want to do this with me?” he said.
“Please don’t make me beg” Jack answered.
“I won’t. Just wanted to make sure that you are alright with this.” Merritt said, kissing Jack’s cheeks.
“Yes…yes I’m sure” Jack said, pressing their lips together and rolled his hips against Merritt’s.
When Merritt pushed his first lubricated digit into him, it felt weird and the second was hurting a little bit.
Jack knew this sensation already, but Merritt’s fingers were a little bit bigger then Lula’s so it took him a bit longer to handle it.
Merritt was showering him in kisses, stretching him and looking for that sweet spot, when he found it Jack cried out overwhelmed.
The older man penetrated it again and again and soon had a sweaty and squirming mess under him, which was begging for more.
It was driving him insane.
“Please, please, please…Merritt please” he begged, thrusting his hips on Merritt’s fingers.
“Soon love” Merritt said, trying not to lose control.
“You told me you wouldn’t make me beg” Jack said, pouting.
“I’m not, but I also don’t want to hurt you” Merritt said, when he pulled his fingers away, what earned him a whine from Jack.
He put the condom on, lubricated himself once more, before he settled himself between Jack’s legs.
The younger man was a mess.
Sweaty hair and skin and his breath came out in little puffs.
He looked up at Merritt with dark, lust filled eyes; biting his bottom lip.
“Gahd I could get lost in your eyes” he said, before he leaned up and kissed Merritt sloppily.
The older man kissed him back hungrily, pushing slowly inside him.
When he tensed up, he stopped immediately.
It was not really painful but uncomfortable.
Jack relaxed himself and Merritt pushed himself in completely.
They stood still for a moment, than Merritt started to move his hips.
Slowly at first so that Jack could get used to the feeling.
“You can go a little bit faster” the younger man said breathlessly.
So Merritt did and soon found his prostate again.
The first thrust into it took Jack with surprise and he was digging his fingernails into Merritt’s shoulders, crying out his name.
Soon the room was filled with moans and the sound of sweaty skin slapping on sweaty skin.
Merritt was close and he could tell Jack as well.
The younger man had reached down to stroke himself in a fast rhythm, matching his trusts.
He had his eyes closed and was moaning Merritt’s name over and over again.
“Come for me Jack” Merritt whispered in his ear and captured his mouth in a kiss.
Jack cried out a muffled moan before he spilled his seed over his stomach and chest.
Merritt’s orgasm didn’t take much longer and with a few more thrust he came, moaning Jack’s name breathlessly.
He sunk down on the younger man, slowly riding out his orgasm.
The other put his arms around him, pressing him closer to his body.
It was quiet in the room; just their heavy breathing could be heard.
Jack was pressing soft kisses to Merritt’s temple and smiled to himself.
There was this old happiness from their apartment again.
He felt save and warm and he wanted to stay like this forever.
Maybe not in this position, but with Merritt around him. This time he wasn’t afraid of his feelings.
He was in love with the older man and this time he wouldn’t push it away.
Merritt pulled out of him.
With a sleepy smile the older man snuggled next to him and Jack was making himself comfortable in his arms. He wanted to say something, but Merritt hushed him.
“That’s the downside for choosing an old man over a beautiful young woman. I’m tired and need some sleep, love. We can talk tomorrow” he said amused, eyes already falling shut.
Jack chuckled, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“I just wanted to say good night” he said, but his words were already unheard and the other man was snoring lightly.
Jack shook his head and laughed to himself before closing his eyes as well.
He didn’t see any downsides in choosing Merritt and with that thought he sank into peaceful sleep.