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A Poet is a Nightingale

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 Derek was making a fool of himself. He was already a klutz and a try-hard but this was county fair prize winning foolishness that for once no-one else could see so at least he was a lucky idiot.

 It was just Dex drove him up the wall, okay? Derek was fresh out of Andover ready to breathe lungfuls of fresh, non privileged air, ready to not have to get in first with jokes about his middle name, to not have to be aware of everything he did so he was not open to attack, to experiment with girls and boys with no need to have excuses ready. To grow surrounded by like minded people, to just be. Then there was William J Poindexter with that fucking republican sticker on his laptop.

 Jesus christ, of all the dudes in Samwell to like guys why did the one with the eyes like a fucking cliché of sunshine on autumn fucking leaves have to be so obnoxiously fucking straight!?

 He had tried to open Dex’s mind on politics, economics, religion but he had a solid answer to nearly every one of Derek’s points, really solid ones, spitefully solid almost, not the stock phrases the guys at Andover would throw into the discussions they had. He could ask difficult questions, get them both angry enough to start swinging.

 Even when Derek tried to lighten the mood he still took it as an attack and Derek with his racially ambiguous face, same-sex parents, and romantic soul did not survive this long around white boys like him by not being able to give even better than he got.

 “So, got the complete works of Shakespeare down yet?” He asked, sitting down next to Chris in the study nook where him and Dex were working on code.

 “Haha Nursey, good one.” Chris laughed, bumping Derek’s shoulder.

 "Yeah, really funny. Can’t you come up with your own things yet or do you have to work up to it?”

 "Dex..." Chris laughed nervously.

 “And what do you plumb the depths of your human imagination for? New ways to copy and paste?” Derek spat, leaning over his bag to get in as much of Dex’s space as he could.

 “How you got through Andover wasn’t it?”

 “Nah man, didn’t have your white privilege to get those grades rounded up. Did it on my sweat, just like this country was built.”

 “You didn’t do shit, you’ve never done shit you hit the jackpot from birth, you only sweat to look good!” Dex snarled, eyes hard.

“Guys please.” 

 “Yeah I got a silver spoon in my mouth, but at least I can take it out unlike the fucking gate post up your ass. But I suppose you secretly like it up there like all republicans.”


“Here we go, free fucking country as long as we all believe what you believe right Nursey?”

“You’re free to believe whatever 1950’s crap you like dude,” he stood up to get in Dex’s angry flushed face, “chill.” He hissed with a smile, watching the exact moment Dex really lost it.

 They were supposed to be the second line D-men, Coach Murray swapping them with Ollie and Wicks every other game because he said they were good enough, but they could barely look at one another without arguing. Chris had tried to fix things but just got caught in the buffers and breakers of their relationship. Bitty had spoken to Derek which meant he had spoken to Dex but it seemed his efforts had just made Dex even less patient with him.

 It got to the point that they were the cause of two Princetown goals. Chris could only do so much when their passes refused to connect, Rans & Holtz sprinting off the bench to save him while Jack and his line dragged Samwell back level. They sat at opposite ends of the bench, their mood descending on the rest of the team so they all started snapping at one another until Jack came off the ice with an expression on his face that had everyone looking at their skates apart from them, Derek shooting a glare right back at Dex as they stomped into the locker room.

 “24, 28 stay behind at the end.” Jack said firmly after the coaches talk, displeasure rolling off him. The rest of the team shot them looks as they thinned out unusually quickly until it was just the two of them, Jack, and Lardo in the ringing silence of the locker room.

 Derek supposed the look they were given was of fatherly sternness as Jack pulled up a chair to sit in front of their cubbies. His eyes were really very pale, like a cold, clear winter's morning, and they froze you to the spot when they looked at you intently.

 No strip was torn off them, much to Derek’s surprise. Jack told them in not unkind terms that they had better try talking instead of yelling if they wanted to be any good. They could be great D-men, they were getting there fast, but Jack made it clear if they did not sort this out they would be benched, might be cut altogether because they were making too much work for the rest of team. That ringing ultimatum put their spat into perspective for Derek, how selfish and self-centred they were being. Or it could have been the gentleness on Jack’s face when he turned to a flushing Dex and mentioned his scholarship like he knew anything about needing one.

 To think of it, what the hell did Derek know?

 “You didn’t tell me you had a hockey scholarship.” Derek said in a small voice, making the effort to not be combative, feeling it stick in his throat but he pushed through it for the team.

 “Uhh well having to haul up lobster pots all summer to get money for kit may have given you a clue?” Dex said tersely and Derek took a deep breath, telling himself to give Dex the chance to try.

“Guess I didn’t...I didn’t think.” He adjusted the strap of his kit bag. “I’m a private school asshole so that’s no shock.”

 Surprisingly Dex did not take that opportunity to attack, he just shrugged. “We’re teenagers, we’re all assholes.” 

“Bitty isn’t an asshole.”

“Bitty is an outlier…”

“...and should not be counted.” Derek finished, smiling when Dex let out a surprised laugh. He had never heard a genuine laugh from him before, it was a nice sound.

 “Hey Nurse, didn’t know meme’s were hipster?” Dex chirped, raising an eyebrow while Derek tried to come up with an answer. Denying being a hipster meant you were a hipster and Derek wanted to be genuine more than anything.

 “I’m not a - shut up! How the fuck did I get backed into a verbal corner by a Compsci Major?” Derek admitted defeat, losing the battle for the sake of the war.

 “You learn more than how to take a punch from having five siblings.”

 “Holy fucking shit, five!”


  Things got steadily better after the Princetown game, rock bottom having been reached the only way they could go was up. Their arguments becoming more like heated debates than anything, leaving Derek wanting to write at the same time as going for a three mile run, thrumming with exhilaration. Dex became softer around him too, accepting hair ruffles with only a grunt and not an elbow to the ribs, brushing shoulders with Derek when they were squeezed on the bench or in the dining hall instead of bunching himself up so they were not touching at all.

 They even made syncing eye-contact in a game against Harvard, connecting every pass while double-teaming their verbal harassment of the opposing forwards - a sync they never really fell out of, finally in the fabled D-men zone, even if Dex still was a gloriously uptight fuck.

 Bitty, the little beauty, got the frogs baking a pie for Thanksgiving Dinner and it might have been his strict supervision or C’s excitement but they got the whole thing done without any bickering. There were plenty of rolled eyes and a flick of flour or three but at the end of it Dex was holding a pecan pie he had decorated himself with the utmost care, C beaming on one side of him and Derek pressed against the other with a hand in his hair as they posed for a picture, Dex flushing beautifully as he looked shyly at the camera.

 They were not like Rans & Holtz, or Jack and Shitty, or even like Derek and his buddy Cooper from Andover, but they had found a way to be friends. Dex did not even yell at him when Derek stood and watched as C crashed the two of them into half the volleyball team, he just laughed a little helplessly along with the girls as they all helped each other up and flushed when a couple took their chance to grab his bicep, glaring at Derek when he laughed at him.

 The change from open hostility to being a voluntary wingman for Derek at parties was sudden and surprisingly easy, his arm heavy around Derek’s shoulders as he chatted to girls who looked equally interested in both of them. Derek would try and repay the favour but Dex did not seem to want the help which was confusing at best. If it had been two months ago he would have taken it as an insinuation that he needed Dex’s help to get laid, a dent to his pride and vanity, but that was the them of the past, the them of the now were complicated but good.

 Derek had looked over at Dex one time during a lull in his evening, ruddy under his spray of freckles from the beer and the warmth of the party, laughing with March and June as April and a football guy were being destroyed at beer pong by Lardo and a faux-reluctant Bitty. June had left her hand on Dex’s arm, a clear invitation, but Dex had just blinked and pretended he did not know she was flirting, glancing in Derek’s direction before he got the caught look out of his eyes.

 Private school had not prepared him to work out what the fuck that meant.

 “You’re a good wingman yanno.” Derek said one morning at team breakfast while the rest of the guys were trying to get Jack to lose the Circle Game but he was wise to them.

“Oh, thanks man.”

“You should totally help out Holtz or Wicks sometime.” He noticed Holster glance around with a frown on his face like he sensed the chirping.

 Dex paused, “They’re not my….” then shoved some hash browns in his face like he was physically stopping himself from speaking, ears glowing red.

“Aww William! Was that a declaration of friendship!”

“Shut up Derek .” Dex said around a mouthful of mostly eaten food, pale and tired looking with some amazing dark circles under his eyes. Even then Derek thought he was warm and lovely like an end of summer day.

 The republican sticker was still on his laptop though. Derek knew you could have LGBTQ republicans, that Dex could even be so far in the closet he did not even know he was in it, knew this could all be wishful thinking.

Probably was.

Definitely was.

 But that certainty did not helped Derek. He had not hooked up with every girl Dex had been his wingman for but now it went down to zero, he did not want them, could not want them when Dex was pressed into his side warm and happy. When he did slip upstairs at a party now it was with people he chatted up on his own, guys with eyes that were not amber and skin that did not hold a galaxy in it.

 Inevitably Dex caught him, well not caught but he definitely saw him casually walking down the Haus stairs looking rumpled behind a guy who in hindsight had looked like a cut price version of Ransom (to be honest that was still pretty good looking) which was what Derek concentrated on being mortified about instead of worrying about the reaction Dex was going to have. He was okay with Bitty but he was mostly un-hetero-threatening, a lot of guys Derek had known liked their not-straights camp and certainly not bigger than them.

 He only had to wait for the stagger back to the dorms for the slightly underwhelming reaction. “I didn’t know you were gay.”

“M’not, pansexual.” Derek muttered, the overly sweet tub juice he downed not rinsing the taste of the guys dick from his tongue


“Mean’s I like all genders.”

“I got it first time.”

“Y’kay with it?”

 Dex shrugged. “Not hurting anyone are you?” He gave Derek a look that he really wanted to show a lovesick kind of hurt but it was not there.


“Well then.” They walked in silence for a bit longer. “I’ll wingman for guys if you want. Guess it’s just like with girls?”

 Derek stopped and exaggerated rubbing his eyes. “Wait wait wait...think I left my friend at the party. He’s named Will, is a pain in the ass?”

“Ayuh, he told me he was staying longer now you weren’t cramping his style.”

“I am his style.”

“Is that what you call it?”

“What would you call it?”

“Overpriced.” Derek opened his mouth, caught the smile on Dex’s face and laughed instead. “So uh...was that guy someone who, ya’know, on the regular or just…”

“Or just.”

“Okay.” Dex reached the door to the dorms and paused. “Thought I should check so I’m not shoving girls at you, it’d be inappropriate ya’know?”

“Yeah. Yeah, no, it’s not a thing.” They looked at one another for a moment. “Why do you think it would be a thing?”

 Dex shrugged and easily heaved the heavy door open one handed, muscles hidden under his button up much to Derek’s chagrin. “You hadn’t been going with any of the girls we talked to.”

“Been keeping track?”

“How can I not when you follow me home nearly every night.”

“I’m protecting your blinding white skin from being bombarded by moths.”

“Fuck you, Nurse.” He growled as they got to the stairs and Derek took off, knowing Dex was chasing and gaining by the sound of his shoes on the stairs. When he fell through the door to their floor he sprinted down it in a time that would impress Bitty, weaving in and out of the few people in the corridor, having no idea what he was going to do when he got to his locked dorm.

 He turned just before the door, about to yell uncle but Dex’s solid mass bundled into him and sent them both bouncing off the end wall.

“The FUCK dudes!” Someone yelled at them as they lay on the floor laughing, Dex not moving from where his smile was pressed into Derek’s tattoo and this was all terrible and very not good. How could he ever concentrate again knowing what that felt like?

 The anger at himself, at Dex, at everything, went into his poetry. He spat out lines about humans hoping for peace in oceans that would suffocate them without even noticing, begged to know why his parents love was so easy but it always turned to ash in his chest, told a room that he knew had some of the SMH guys in that he never saw love coming until it had pulled him over the cliff with it and onto the sharp rocks below.

 So now half the team knew stuff was going on; Bitty baked him a sympathy pie and Chris looked forlornly at him while Rans & Holtz threw him a Cheer Up Kegster. Jack and Lardo were just Jack and Lardo which helped the most because they were still and quiet and he could sit with them in the hope the silence would fill his brain instead of Dex, hopefully then he could get his chill back.

“Nursey dude, not lost ya to the fucking trappist Hockey cult have we?” Shitty asked one day as he passed them all camped out in Jack’s room doing their own thing quietly. They all looked up at him in silent unison and he claimed it was, “The most fuckinng terrifying amazing-cheekboned-children-of-the-fucking-corn shit I have ever seen brah, I thought I was having a bad trip.”

 Losing the Frozen Four was...not chill. Derek felt shitty for the seniors, especially Jack whose eyes looked red and more despairing than usual as he walked silently onto the bus, head down, Bitty at his elbow looking worried and upset in equal parts. He felt shitty for Chris who was in the process of taking the whole weight of the defeat on his shoulders. Felt shitty and unnerved by Dex who had vibrated with anger and frustration all the way back to the hotel and up to their room.

 Derek leant on the wall, looking across at Dex who was sat on the far bed with his back to him, hands on his knees and glaring at the kit bag at his feet, still in his SMH jacket. Derek could remember when it had been a little too big for him across the shoulders, a Hockey season bulking him out enough to fill it perfectly now. One of the better things in life, Derek had always thought, was the stretch of fabric across a boy's broad shoulders but right now he missed how cosy Dex had looked.

"Will.” He said gently.

 Dex tensed some more. “What!”

“Can I get you anything?”

“Like what? Actual fucking skill at Hockey?”

“S’no-one’s fault, man. They were just better than us, all of us.”

“Not better than Jack.”

“Jack’s going to the NHL.”

“Yeh, and we couldn’t even give him the win to send him off!”

“He won’t see it like that.”

“Doesn’t change the fact we fucked up.”

“I know.” Derek pushed off the wall and gingerly sat down next to Dex, “I gotta be less afraid on the ice.”

 Dex finally looked at him, eyebrows drawn together, scrunching up his nose so he looked like an apple cheeked kid in a 50’s advert. “Afraid of what?”

 Derek shifted, turning to look at the boring print on the curtains. “I’ve always had a horror of breaking my fingers.”

“‘Cause you’re a poet?”

“Nah, just hate the thought of it.”

“We wear gloves.”

“Phobia’s don’t work like that, bro.”

“Ayuh.” Dex sighed, relaxing a little as they sat in silence for a long time, shoulders touching. “Fucking hate Yale.”


 So that was the end of his first season playing College Hockey. More dramatic than he expected, and with a lot of totally unexpected pie, but he would not have changed it for the world. Training became less intense but it still hurt because keeping up with Jack Zimmermann was a matter of pride for everyone. Team study and breakfasts were still a thing and the Haus was like a second home, the place to go when the dorms were too noisy and the library was too quiet, the team the best group of friends Derek had ever had and Dex probably the best friend he would ever have.

“You know…” Dex said one day as they sat on the porch waiting for the dude to come to take Betsy away (Bitty could not bare to see her go despite the brand new oven he was still crying to Jack about) and enjoying the unseasonably warm evening, “...never thought I’d voluntarily spend time with you Nursey.”

“My personality finally won you over?”

“Finally got immune to your bullshit.”

 Derek laughed. September last year he would have flown into a rage and they would have had a screaming match on the Haus lawn (again) with the Lax bro’s gathering on their porch to watch (again). He much preferred the crooked smile on Dex’s face to that. 

“Dude, you going on the crawl this weekend?”


“If you do I’ll be your wingman for once, get you laid.”


“Not that I’ve been keeping track, like you’ve not been keeping track of me.”

 Dex had gone quite an alarming shade of red, his ears the worse culprit. If Derek did not know better he would have said they were glowing like in a cartoon. “You don’t - ’s okay.”

“Come on man, lemme repay the favour for my bro.”

“I said it’s okay!”

“Do you have a thing with a girl? Is that it?”

 Dex sighed long and loud, glancing around at the nearly deserted road. There was just a Lax bro leaning out of his window smoking and the sorority girls next door painting a banner on their lawn while listening to Rhianna. “Can’t believe I’m gonna fucking…” He sighed again. “I’ve never done it before.”

“Hooked up with a girl at a party? No worries dude it’ll be chill.”

“No you...jesus fucking christ, I’ve not done it before.”

“Oh.” Derek Malik Nurse, 19, was speechless for only the third time in his life. But he got over it quickly. “William Jacob Poindexter, Maine has not appreciated your hunky Irish self one bit.”

“I’m not Irish.”

 Derek could not help glancing at his deep red hair and freckles. “Really?”

“Poindexter is an English surname.” Dex turned to scowl at him. “Not all Irish are ginger and being ginger isn’t only an Irish thing, thought you’d know better than to stereotype.” Derek really did know better but most of the white people he met insisted they were fucking fifteen percent Irish or some shit. “If you want to get into it the name is 'Huguenot French'.” 

“Huh…” Derek leant back on his hands. “Never have guessed you’d be descended from refugees.”

“Ayuh, well, I’m solidly American and white so don’t get romantic idea’s about it.”

Derek grabbed Dex’s arm hard, ignoring the romantic comment for his own sake, “Yo, you just acknowledged your privilege! I’m so proud of you.”

“Fuck off.” Dex grumbled, flicking Derek’s snapback and dodging when Derek made to retaliate.

“But this is a big moment in your development! I’ll get Bitty to put it on the fridge, Jack will give you a proud fatherly nod…”

“You are such an asshole.” Dex shoved Derek into the railing hard enough that it wobbled dangerously but there was no malice to it.

“S’why we get along so well.”

 Dex grunted and they went back to silence. “There...I’ve fumbled around in the back of a car once or twice but never, ya’know. No time, too many siblings, plus I’m not…” He trailed off and Derek did not push, glancing over his bowed head before knocking shoulders.

“I’ll help you get a girlfriend if you want.”

“No thanks. They’d all want to go off with you.”

 Derek spluttered, not getting a reply out before he had to help lug an oven into the back of a truck, almost tripping on the curb when Dex wiped his sweaty face on his t-shirt and gave Derek a peek of the dimples at the base of his spine.

 Spring really was hot for Massachusetts, summer looking like it was gearing up to hit the east coast full force and didn’t Derek just love it when New York was humid, the buildings blocking the cool breezes from the river leaving still hot air hanging over the tourist packed streets.  

 Despite Bitty daily declaring it was only mild out the Canadian’s were suffering. Ransom was already in his salmon summer shorts and boat shoes and Jack, to everyone’s deep shock, seemed to own non-gym wear shorts that fitted, a trail of chaos left around campus when he combined them with worn thin t-shirts. Derek may have walked past Holtzy, Shitty, and Lardo holding a prayer circle for Bitty on the porch roof.

 Derek understood Bitty’s problem, he had eyes in his head after all, but his own problem was much worse. Jack allowed all of Bitty’s unconscious flirting and staring with a small fond look on his face, Dex would do no such thing. Which was why when he opened his door to find Dex had come to his dorm in a tank top he made a mental note to get his grandma to ask their tribal singer to do the Navajo equivalent of a prayer circle because fuck there were so many freckles.

 Dex had taken a Gothic Lit class to fill out his art's points and had bemoaned the fact that he was terrible and nothing made sense and he was going to fail to such an extent Derek offered to look over his work just to get him to stop.fucking.complaining. He settled in at his desk with the printouts of Dex’s final project and essay while Dex sat on his bed and got on with the code that was what was really stressing him out.

 Derek noticed the republican sticker was still there on his laptop, but now there was a SMH one over it next to a Bruins one that Jack had jokingly forged his dad’s signature on.

 The project was not bad at all, a little too coldly analytical to pass for an Arts Major but nothing was wrong with it so Derek left it alone, digging up a pencil to leave suggestions in the margins of the essay.

 After working in near silence for about two hours Derek spun around in his chair, pencil behind his ear and papers held out ready to scoot across the room to go over them, pausing when he caught sight of Dex. The sun was coming through the blinds to hit the wall just next to where he was leaning, the soft dissipating light catching in a few pale lashes, lighting up the darkening freckles across his nose. His lips were pursed to one side, eyes flicking over something rapidly as he scrolled down with one hand, the other twisting around to crack his wrist.

“Yo, stop that.” Derek muttered as he dropped down cross legged on the bed.

“Huh?” Dex blinked across at him.

“Your wrist, you’ll get carpal tunnel or something.” Dex frowned, then seemed to notice what he was doing and dropped his arm heavily onto the bed.

“Bad habit.”

Derek held out the papers. “Ready to go through this or did I disrupt your flow?”

“Nah I’m pretty much done.” Dex fiddled about saving his work then took his stuff from Derek.

“The project is solid, I don’t think you need to do anything to it except fix a few citations. The essay isn’t bad, I’ve put some suggestions in you can take if you want.”

 Derek sat back as Dex flicked through the essay, eyes bright as he processed the information in front of him, nodding a few times and frowning at something Derek had written on the fourth page, lips pursing again.

 The sun was shining on Derek so he shifted back on his hands, eyes lazily resting on Dex’s face. The coconut oil Ransom had shoved on him the first month at Samwell, not able to stand by when he knew Dex had sensitive skin, was really doing wonders. Derek had been surprised when Dex had hugged him in a celly and he caught the smell, not expecting Dex to use it at all let alone keep it up for months. And it did not look like his face was the only place Dex was applying it, his shoulders looked even smoother than his face - practically glowing if you wanted to be poetic, which Derek did.

 Freckles man, he had known gingers at Andover but none were so liberally sprinkled in them as Dex. He had noticed before, but locker room and drunk Hazeapalooza noticing was a totally different thing, a weird kind of no-man's-land where everyone saw but no-one looked.

 He was looking now, thinking about how the freckles on his arms had almost been merged together into a tan when they first met. They were still dense over his shoulders and down his arms but more defined, more orange. Derek preferred them like this, loved the way they looked on his collarbone. He would whisper epics into the dip of it, the surprisingly gentle curve on such a broad guy, trace the slips of pale skin between the freckles, feel the firmness of muscle and bone under his soft skin, soak in the warmth that matched everything else about Dex.


 Derek’s eyes shifted up, looking at the sweet freckles on his nose, his green-gold eyes. The realisation that Dex was looking at him, had his whole attention on him, crept up a lot slower than Derek would have liked. He blinked and knew from Dex’s expression that all his thoughts had been emblazoned on his face as boldly as his name was on his jersey.

 He took a deep breath and moved to perch on the side of his bed to give Dex space, pressing his hands between his knees and turning slightly to look at him, watching as worry spread over his face.

“That was inappropriate to look at you like that, I know better than to look at you like that, I didn’t mean to make this weird or you uncomfortable but that’s no excuse. I am really sorry, I had -I have this under control and I will…”

“You have what under control?” Dex’s tone was guarded, something simmering under the surface.

“Just don’t fucking…” Derek moved further onto the end of the bed, wishing he had moved to the chair now and hating himself for it. Why the fuck should he get at arm's length if a guy could not take a him checking him out? “...I think you’re hot okay.”

 Dex recoiled and Derek felt really, really hurt for a moment until he saw there was no disgust or horror on Dex’s face, just complete shock. “What?” He breathed, still looking at Derek like a rabbit in headlights, a blush rapidly making its way from his ears down to his chest.

“I think you’re hot Dex, and I actually really like your shitty personality but I know you don’t like guys so I’m trying to keep our friendship going by being ch…”

“Don’t say chill!” Dex snapped, now looking more angry than shocked. “And why does everyone assume I’m straight! Is it cause I have a fucking republican sticker on my laptop?”

“Kinda? I know there are LBGT conserva…”

“It’s hiding a fucking crack on the lid okay! I’d rather not spend sixty bucks getting it fixed and they were giving them out for free. Because people thinking I vote republican means less to me than being judged for being poor!” Dex was shouting, New England accent more pronounced and voice more fragile than Derek had ever heard, fists clenched on his thighs.

“You argued me into a shoving match about Obamacare! What the fuck!”

“I come down here and see all these city boys wearing clothes that if I had gone to high-school in I’d’ve had the shit kicked out of me! I see them drinking shitty beer and eating shitty food like they’re edgy when that’s what I survive on, acting proud of their old phones with cracked screens while driving brand new cars. Then they - you - try and lecture me on what’s good and what’s right like you have any idea about the real world. About what it’s like keeping a GPA high enough for a scholarship when you’re working since thirteen to pay for your school shit.” Dex took a deep ragged breath, relaxing his hands and flexing his fingers like he did after fights. “I fucking cried in relief when Obamacare came in but I was not going to let any rich assholes pat themselves on the back for doing me such a favour. I push back ‘cause I know full well your imaginary poor is thankful for scraps and I am not! I am the real thing an’ don't care about what anyone thinks about who I should support even if I do vote democrat! 'Cause they ain't perfect either."

 Dex was real, his sharp edges meant you had to acknowledge all of him because he would not let you ignore him. He did not bullshit around trying to look genuine like Derek did and that meant being the dweeb in a tie at parties because it was smart, and smart meant not poor. “Oh.” Derek breathed, taking the crashing wave of Dex’s anger, letting himself feel shitty even though he did not want to. He could see himself in all what Dex said, understood how trying to tell him about the good of the wider population while wearing his pristine work boots and artfully distressed jeans would piss Dex off, let himself feel a little proud of his growth since then.

“Yeah ‘Oh’, bet your fucking bed sheets cost more than sixty bucks.”

“Just ‘cause I come from money doesn’t mean I spend it like it’s nothing!” Derek snapped, wanting to stay with this conversation but knowing they needed to have the other one.

 Dex closed his laptop with a loud sigh and scrubbed his large, long fingered hands over his face, making it more red. “I know. ’M sorry Derek.”

 They sat in silence for a beat, Derek a little shocked by how his name sounded in Dex’s mouth when he was not being sarcastic. “Didn’t mean to assume about you bro.”

“My brother keeps giving me shit about being at Samwell,” Dex muttered into his hands, straightening to lean back against the wall with a groan. “Momma clips his ear and pa tells him not too but they can’t stop him. I know it’s ‘cause he’s stuck working up through the fishery and I got a scholarship but he won’t let the 1 in 4 thing go. Keeps asking me if I’ve fucked a fag yet.”

“Shit Dex!”


“No. No, I’m sorry he speaks to you like that. He should be proud of you… doesn’t mean much but I’m proud of you.”

“Not it’s...thanks.” Dex stared at Derek’s desk for a moment, just breathing. “You think I’m hot?”


 Dex shook his head. “You’re such a fucker you know that? I was called Dumbo and Lobster Pot in high-school, I struggled for prom dates and you, you who look like a goddamn... fucking... hipster model think I’m hot.”

“I really do, and I think everyone in Maine is an idiot. Including you.”

 Dex looked at him, pale eyes guarded and vulnerable and Derek wanted so badly. “I thought I was just waiting for the right girl, that’s why I wasn’t really into any dates I did get but then Shitty was ranting about demisexuality or something on the bus and I always thought girls were cute but then Jack is really hot…”

“Jack.” Derek whispered, trying to catch his racing thoughts to put them away to deal with later - of every possibility that had run through his head Dex liking a boy other than him had not been one of them. He had to pull himself together, he could have a break down after supporting Dex through this mess of a coming out.

“...I kinda like girls and I kinda like guys but I don’t know, Nursey, I don’t know.”

“You got all the time in the world to work it out, man, I'm here for you. I got your back.”

“Isn’t this the part where you kiss me like the dramatic little shit you are?”

 It was Derek's turn to be stunned, gaping at Dex in a very unchill way. He found himself suddenly with one knee on the bed and the other foot on the floor, leaning into Dex who was still red and still shocked. “Just ‘cause you like guys doesn’t mean you’ll wanna kiss me.” Derek said, stopping himself leaning in further because what the fuck was happening?

“Holy fucking shit we found a limit to your ego.” Dex snapped, still looking up at Derek with wide eyes.

“You know why I have an ego.” Lardo had made some pot brownies on a lazy sunday and Derek had found the need to share the fact in his whole life his parent’s had only ever picked him up from school, any school, themselves once and it was because ma did not trust anyone else with his tonsillitis. They adored him, he knew, they were just busy saving everyone else.

“I do.” Dex confirmed, and they were still staring at one another.

 Very carefully Derek raised a hand, painfully aware of how ordinary they were next to Dex’s calloused, elegant workman's hands, and touched his cheek as lightly as he could. He was aware he was looming over Dex so dropped down to sit on his leg to bring them nearly level, amber eyes staring at him still. “Is this okay?”

 Dex nodded and Derek ran his thumb along the freckles on his cheekbone, down the sweet little bump on his nose where it had been broken to rest next to his plush bottom lip (for a white boy). “Can I kiss you?” He asked, having a hysterical moment where he considered running off to shave so his stubble did not harm Dex’s delicate skin.

“Yeh.” Dex said in a small voice, eyes zipping all over Derek’s face as he moved in slowly to press a kiss to his top lip, sliding down to kiss along his bottom lip, Dex letting him with only shuddered breaths as a response before he reacted, hand resting awkwardly on Derek’s shoulder as he kissed back in the same unyielding way he did everything.

“You’re so sweet.” Derek murmured against his lips and kissed him again, containing himself from pushing Dex back against his sheets and claiming every freckle.

 He pulled back slowly, shifting so he could sit on his ass as he let his fingers drop from ghosting over the redness of the beard burn around Dex’s mouth to skim down his strong arm, finally resting on his hand. “Was that okay?”

 Dex nodded, pink lips pressed together like he did not know what to do with them. “What.” Dex croaked, clearing his throat to start again, “What do you wanna do now?” Derek raised an eyebrow and then felt bad as Dex went maroon. “ I didn’t mean…”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry.”


“For this not being a college hook up, falling into bed with someone you have a crush on. I can’t do that.”

“I don’t want you to be a hook up. Want to date your fucking awful self.”

“Oh…” Dex fiddled with his laptop, nail picking at one of the USB ports. “Okay.”


“Yeah fucking really, why else would I say it?” Dex snapped and Derek was relieved - open, raw, vulnerable Dex was unsettling as fuck.

“What about Jack?”

“Jack? Are you going to ask his per…" Dex laughed, then realised what Derek meant. "I said he was hot you moron! That's like saying water is wet, it's just a fact!”

“I know, I know just ignore me. I’m...I panicked just ignore me. Please” He gabled, for once relieved he was an idiot.

 Dex gave him a sceptical look but, amazingly, did ignore it. “We’ll have to go slow.”

“Fine by me.”

“And you can’t be mad if I end up strangling you.”

“Eh, maybe like twenty-five percent mad.”

“Okay...okay.” Dex squared his shoulders. “Okay. I have a boyfriend now.”

“If you’re going to freak out…”

“I’ve been freaking out for the past five minutes.”

“...don’t leave. Stay here, we’ll do some work or watch some TV and just chi- hang out. Think about all this.”

 Dex nodded, holding his laptop against his lap. “Okay.”

 Derek got his book and settled in next to Dex, shoulders pressed together no more than usual, his knee touching Dex’s thigh where he had his legs crossed. He looked over to make sure Dex was okay and got a peck on the lips, a considering look, and Dex ignoring him for the next forty minutes while Derek listened to him type code like a man possessed.

 So, he was dating Dex now. It was quite easy really; in training they became their own little D-men chirping powerblock to rival Rans & Holtz, their bickering became more playful, Dex would lean his head on Derek’s shoulder and giggle as they walked back from parties drunk. He got to kiss Dex, got to slip his arm around his waist as they watched Netflix, got to gaze at him adoringly while Dex glared his homework into submission.

 Dex still seemed a bit jumpy at times, curling up to Derek and then tensing for the next fifteen minutes, looking guilty when someone from his Compsi class came into Annie’s while they were eating, still not knowing where to put his hands after two weeks worth of kisses. But Derek was a patient man, muses could never be rushed.

 What was difficult was not spoiling Dex rotten. He wanted to buy him the world but knew that A) Dex would not take kindly to it and B) mom would lower his credit card limit again. He made a compromise with himself by bringing Dex a muffin here, a iced coffee that he always drank while saying he hated them there, getting to their lunch dates early so he could pay for it all.

 As he had no classes until the evening on a Tuesday Derek skived study and went to the local Target looking for a new band for his fitbit. While he was aimlessly wandering around to waste time he noticed a dark green tie that would suit Dex’s burnished copper hair and, well, they had been dating two weeks and Derek was a romantic fool. Such a fool that when he saw there were some candles on sale he picked them up too, only realising how much a fool he really was when Dex shouldered into his dorm that evening and froze.

“Uh…” He looked right at Derek and then stepped back out into the corridor as if he was checking this was the right room. “Nursey?”

“Hey Dex.” He said from where he was sat on the floor with two pizza boxes and a four pack, candles lining his desk and window sills.

“Are your lights broken?”

“Nope. It’s aesthetic.” He lied, really glad he had not been stupid enough to go in on some rose petals.

“...okay.” Dex dropped his bag onto the bed and came further into the room as he chirped, “Is the floor aesthetic too?”

“Just sit down.”

 Dex’s wide mouth was trying not to turn up at the edges as he flopped down to lean on Derek’s bed. “I have sat, as you commanded.” He said, reaching for one of the pizza boxes.

“You have no idea how much that means to me!” Derek fake sobbed, hands over his heart.

 Dex just took a bite of pizza and crinkled his nose at him.

 Dinner was good, they bickered and laughed and Dex had to search through his bag for something to open the beer with because Derek is an idiot and apparently Dex really is Mr.Fix-it. Derek had stared at the cut of his hip, thrown into relief by the candlelight, and got chirped for it but in all honesty he was the winner here.

“Got somethin’ for ya’.” Derek sing-singed, smiling as Dex looked over with a little frown on his face as he cleaned pizza grease off his fingers.

“If it’s a kiss you’ve done that like, five times already this week.”

“Nope.” Derek pulled out the tie from under his leg, still wrapped in a Target bag to protect it from him.

 Dex looked like he expected something horrible to be in the bag, ears going red when he peered into it and realised what it was. “I can buy ties myself.”

“I know, I just wanted to get it for you.”

 Dex looked at him like he was alarmed at the prospect, pulling the tie out of the bag to run it through his fingers.  “You can’t spend money on me like this.”

“It’s from Target, not like I got it from Tom Ford.”

“No, I mean...shit, I can’t buy you stuff ‘just cause’, I gotta…”

“I don’t want you to.” Derek cut him off, not wanting Dex to bring up how tightly budgeted he was. It put thunder on Dex’s brow and gave Derek a nasty feeling in his chest. “I did it for you asshole, ‘cause I like you a whole bunch? If it means so much to you you’ve fixed shit for me before and defo will in the future.”

 Dex looked back down at the tie that was now wrapped around his knuckles a little like a boxers hand wraps, “Thanks Derek.”

“S’okay man.”

 Dex turned to look at him, the soft candlelight making him glow, eyes dark and burning like the air around him. Derek had a moment to think about how pink Dex’s lips were for like the fiftieth time before Dex’s rough hands were on his face and those lips were on his and he was being pulled forward, catching himself on his hands to stop himself landing on Dex. “Brah,“ he got out before Dex was kissing him again, fingers in his hair and tongue sliding against his.

 He moaned loudly, embarrassingly loudly, running a hand up Dex’s chest, feeling every single muscle through his t-shirt, the other curling around the strength of his thigh. Dex was not kissing like himself, even with their chaste kisses Derek could feel the fight in them, the push back, but now Dex was gentle and cautious, pliant if Derek was prepared to get punched for it, happy to let Derek take the lead.

 He sucked on Dex’s bottom lip, trying to regain some composure after the embarrassing moaning but then Dex opened his legs and the inside of his thighs were so warm against Derek’s hips oh my god his boner was slotted against the crease of Dex’s hip and Derek was going to die and then Dex would kill him.


“What d’ya want Nursey?”

 It took Derek a moment to realise this was not the tone used to snap at him in the library at four o’clock on a Thursday, this was soft and breathy and small. Derek leant his cheek on Dex’s temple, painting warm breath into his hair. “You don’t wanna know what I want.”

 Fingers pulled on his curls. “I’m not like the delicate virgins in all those books or whatever.”

“I know, but still.”

“Fucking hell Nurse, just...I want you to do what you want to me.”

 Derek paused in his breathing in of the smell of Dex’s cheap shampoo and stared at his floor that really needed a fucking vacuum. That would be an amazing invitation like, six months in the future but right now an alarm bell was ringing. He pushed himself up on his elbows to look down at Dex who was flushing prettily, face pinched and eyes determined.

“So you’d let me fuck your mouth for buying you a fifteen buck tie?” Dex blanched under his flush so Derek pulled himself up so he was on all fours over him. “Don’t do this Dex, don’t do this to yourself or to me.”

 The pretty flush turned an angry red before his very eyes. Derek would have been amazed at how he could tell apart the different types of blushes of one William J Poindexter but he was being shoved away, Dex scrambling out from under him and going for his bag. Derek caught his wrist and pulled him back down onto his knees. Dex struggled, just as strong as Derek but not as bulky, not able to pull away when Derek leant his weight back.

“Let me fucking go!”


“Fuck you! Let me GO!”

“No.” He expected more of a tussle but Dex just slumped to the side, head down, shoulders dropped, the fight gone out of him. Derek loosened his grip on Dex’s boney wrist and he pulled his hand back, shifting to sit on his ass, burying his face in his drawn up knees.

 The shocked silence around them was broken by a strangled sob and Derek tripped over his knees going to Dex’s side, kicking over an almost empty bottle of beer that went ignored. “I’m sorry Will, I’m so sorry.” He whispered, placing a hand lightly on a shaking shoulder. Dex shuddered, then leant into the touch so Derek snuffled forward, curling an arm around him.

 Dex muttered something wetly into his knees, freckled fingers gripping onto his shorts so tightly the knuckles had gone white. “I can’t hear you, Will. Talk to me. If you want to. I’m sorry.”

 There was a few more muffled sniffs before Dex sat up, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes, his voice thick and wet when he spoke. “Getting you off is all I really have to give to this relationship or whatever the hell this is. I know I’m angry all the time and I don’t know shit about the arts and I’m awkward an’…” He moved his hands to the side of his face so he was staring at his knees, “...I know I’m ugly.”

 Derek gasped, feeling offended and hurt and so desperately sad. He moved in front of Dex and pulled his hands away from his face to replace them with his own, dark thumbs wiping away the hated tears from his cheeks. “The people who made you feel like this deserve to be stuck in bumfuck Maine their whole lives and in twenty-five years have their shitty kids stressing out as they write essays about my poetry that is all about red sunsets on stormy seas and constellations leaving me weak and every gross fucking cliché I can fit in about how fucking beautiful you are.”

 Dex blinked at him before his face crumpled and he started crying again, this time arms reaching out for Derek who pulled him against his chest and held on so tightly it was definitely crushing him, hurt and love growing when he felt wetness seep into his shoulder. “I will immortalise every single freckle and every pale eyelash on you, every flip out and every punch you throw so when I’m old hipster trash some douchebag will make a documentary about it and you can yell at them like you yell at me.”

“God your fucking ego, Nurse.” Dex said, pulling his face off of Derek’s shoulder to press his hot forehead against his jaw.

“How can I not aim high,” Derek said softly, skimming a fingertip over the freckles on Dex’s arm, “how can I settle for my feet on the ground when I have felt the heartbeat of the galaxy under my fingers, when it has burnt me and shown me beauty, burnt me and shown me forever, burnt me and showed me what I am not. Oh, how small this earth is when you love the stars.”

 Dex sat back with an unattractive sniff, Derek’s arm still around his waist, face red and tear streaked and the prettiest mess Derek had ever seen. “Better write that down before you forget it.”

“Much rather kiss every little bit of you that floors me.”

 Dex gave him a shove. “That ain’t gonna keep me in ties, get to writing. I’m gonna...wash my face and stuff.”

 Derek let Dex go with a gentle kiss and watched as he shuffled off to the bathroom. He grabbed one of his stash of notebooks after mopping up most of the spilt beer, getting caught up in his flow so a few verses were scrawled across the pages before he realised Dex was back. He looked over his shoulder to watch him run the tie through his fingers a few times, a little smile on his face before shoving it into his bag.

“Hey can I stay?”

“Course, I’ll take the floor…”

“Don’t be an idiot.”

 Derek smiled at him, could not stop smiling as he dug up some PJ shorts for Dex, smiled while he brushed his teeth, smiled when Dex chirped him for getting into bed without blowing out the candles, smiled as he stumbled on his desk chair in the darkness, smiled as he blindly kissed all over Dex’s face and told him he was gorgeous.

 Ransom, of course, spotted that Dex was wearing yesterday’s clothes as they shuffled into team breakfast the next morning. His eyes practically zeroed in, Holster whipping around like he felt Ransoms attention shift.

“DEXXYYY!!” They bellowed, making Jack jump.

“Is this a walk of shame I spy before me!?”

 Holster wiped away a tear. “They grow up so fast, my baby D-man getting laid.”

“You been wheeling a chick on the quiet Sexy Dexy? Come here, let me smell you so I can guess who it was.”

“Get off me Rans.” Dex laughed as he pushed Ransom off him, everyone too much of an idiot to notice Derek’s leather bracelets hiding the angry bruise he had left on his wrist.

 It had been almost first thing he saw that morning, how could he miss it, and had almost freaked out, almost burst into tears at what he had done. Dex, who would fight anyone on and off the ice and checked huge forwards like they were nothing, bruised like a ripe peach. He had told Derek it was fine, he forgave him, but Derek would hate himself until it faded to nothing.

“You can either give me my hand back or type for it.” Dex grumbled a few days later in a little out of the way nook in the library as Derek kissed the dirty yellow edges of the bruise.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologising. Not the first time I’ve been bruised.”

“Yeah, but I did this.”

 Dex yanked his arm back. “You’re an over-dramatic dick.” He snapped, glancing around before he swooped in to give Derek a peck on the lips, giving him such a warm smile Derek ended up resting his chin on a pile of books so he could watch him work for the next half hour, totally besotted.  








Chapter Text


 College, Derek's mom had said, was like the rite of passage rituals of ancient civilisations. Where the not-quite children were all sent to this strange, boundary place that aped the adult world, emerging as adults after a set period of time. Derek was not quite sure about the adult bit; sure the Seniors were less of a mess than everyone else but he in no way would trust any of them with, say, his accounts or his freedom. He had seen a naked Shitty laying on his floor in catatonic panic and the ever stoic Jack run screaming from the lake Geese along with the rest of them. 

 To him college was more of a bubble of slightly altered reality, the real world viewed through a film of stress and hangovers and making you feel a little off kilter when you rejoined it again. For example, Derek was sure there were never so many tiny kids around before he went to Samwell, and they definitely never screamed so much or almost tripped him up so often - and that was all before he even got to his cousin's wedding where it seemed every brown child in the north east was.

 He had wanted to bring Dex with him to Long Island, wanted to show him off in a killer rented tux in the luxurious setting, wanted to kiss him while draped in expensive hotel sheets, but they were taking things slow and Dex meeting the Asian half of his extended family was the very opposite of that.

 Derek was settling in to eat his fill of some bomb ass Halwa when the sister of the guy getting married, the closest he ever had to a sibling, slid into the seat his nani had just vacated. “Derek.”


“Never thought I’d see you going stag to anything.”

“Felt like I needed to take the attention away from you.”

“Oh my God! John’s Korean it’s not the end of the world! If they can deal with your ammi marrying a non-muslim woman they can deal with him.”

“My mom works in Business Law. Can get away with anything if they’re a doctor or an engineer or a lawyer…”

“So which one is your boy at Samwell doing?”

 Derek ate a spoonful of lovely, sweet, fragrant Halwa to hide any reaction he may have had to that. “Don’t know what you mean.”

“You have this look about you.” Maryam adjusted her salwar and leant an elbow on the table. “It’s always the same when you’re getting all sappy over a guy.”

“Okay CSI, gonna get your blue light out and tell me how behind I am for Finals?”

“You’ve never been behind on anything in your life! I’d have loved for you to slip into C’s more often, you have no idea the shit I got about that.”

“Ummm excuse me, you’re doing Botany at Oxford while I’m not even at an Ivy League college.” He gestured around the half empty table with his spoon. “What do you think my evening has been like?”

“I’m surprised you even noticed, too busy thinking about your white boy up in Samwell.”

“Okay fuck off now.”

 Maryam magicked a spoon out of nowhere and stole a massive lump of Halwa, shoving it in her mouth before Derek could stop her. “Keep doin’ it till you tell me.”

“Isn’t there your new sister-in-law’s family to entertain or something?”

“I’ve got five minutes to bug you. Wanna know how I know he’s white?”

“No.” She went in again for his Halwa and Derek made Jack proud with his block.

“Gimmie the goods, Derek!”

“If I tell you he does Compsci will you go away?”


 Derek sighed, he had a pattern with people he loved to bits - he always wanted to strangle them. “It’s new and fragile at the moment so don’t tell anyone. Last thing I need is all the aunties calling up asking for his full biography and blood type before my parents have a chance to get to know him.” 

“They don’t know?”

“It only started like a month ago, so no.”

 Maryam raised her perfect brows at him, something in her round face softening. “Okay Derek, I won’t. Promise.”

“You won’t what?” Derek’s ma asked, appearing with a chorus tinkling bangles like the princess she was.

“Keep eating his dessert.”

“Derek let her eat it she’s been on her feet all day! You can always go and get more don’t be selfish.” She said sternly, Derek sighing as he shoved his plate towards Maryam in defeat.

“Nah it’s okay, I’ve got stuff to do.”

“Your chachi was lookin for you over by the fountain, so you better go to her first.”

 Maryam rolled her eyes at Derek as she stood. “See you ‘round dweebtown.”

“I really hope not.” He muttered at her retreating back.

 A small strong hand slipped around his shoulders, the smell of the jasmine in his ma’s hair like a comforting blanket wrapped around his shoulders. “You okay, jaan?”


“You look like you’re wishing someone was here with you.”

 It was official, Derek Nurse had no chill when it came to Dex, none. “It’s getting there.”

Inshalla. That’s my boy.” She kissed his forehead gently before turning away in a swirl of green silk. A green that would make Dex's skin all the more pale and hair all the more red.

 Derek glanced around at the bubbling fountains and the glittering lights, the crowd of his relations getting down to the latest music and eastern favourites that usually had him right in the middle and found himself wishing his was two hundred miles north of here eating questionable turkey chilli with Holster deafening him on one side and Lardo on the other trying to smear Ketchup on his arm, Dex's ankle leaning on his under the table.


 It was a two hour trip back to Samwell, Derek skipping out of the second day of festivities after brunch with his mom's, citing Finals as an excuse. He wandered into the Haus in the early afternoon to find Ransom under the kitchen table, Holster happily typing away with his feet on him. “Hey is Rans okay?” 

 Holster held up a hand and gave Derek a warning look. “Coral reef!” 

“Oookay, is Dex here?” 

“Living room. SOMEONE is ahead of STUDY SCHEDULE because they don’t FUCK instead of STUDYING.” Holster yelled, directing it under the table at Ransom who twitched, muttering about infant metabolic rates. 

“Cool. Good luck with that man.” He said, indicating Ransom. 

“Pie in the fridge dude.“ Holster said, looking at him over the top of his glasses. “So much fucking pie.”

 Derek got a slice of blueberry for himself and Dex, putting it on the same plate because the sink was looking kinda full, getting one for Holster as well who cooed and dragged Derek down to smack a wet kiss to his cheek. “You do care!”

 Dex was sat on the hazmat couch, textbook open on his lap and half watching something on LifeTime with a vacant look in his eyes. He looked up when Derek waved the pie at him, beaming a crooked smile right at his face and Derek wanted to stand in the main quad and tell the whole campus how freaking cute his boyfriend was. “You said you'd be back tonight!” Dex even sounded happy to see him, not taking his eyes off Derek as he flopped down next to him. 

“I love my family, don’t get me wrong, but after six hours of Indian music I had to bounce man. Mom’s side got to me first with their native beats and Mediterranean rhythms.” He brushed his fingertips through the short hair on the back of Dex’s head, leaning in to kiss him firmly on the mouth, lingering to suck lightly on his bottom lip. “Side’s, been wanting to do that since Friday.” 

 Dex blushed. “Sap.” He said like it was an endearment and kissed Derek again. 

 They ate while Dex filled him in on the drama’s of the movie they were watching, Derek pulling his knees up to his chest and letting Dex finish the pie because he was still full of wedding food. Besides, Derek liked the taste of blueberries in Dex’s mouth.

 The movie ended and they aww’d at one another, turning to their work as another one started. Derek was half way through deciding which colour highlighter went with the sentence he had just read when Dex put his textbook on Derek’s knee and leant on the other one like he had a right to it.

 Derek watched him for a moment, heart going all soft and gooey at how comfortable Dex was with him before he dropped both feet to the floor so Dex crashed into his lap. Dex just gave him a contrary look as he placed his book on the armrest, laying his torso across Derek’s thighs. He was heavy but in a comforting way, warm as well, Derek letting his fingers catch on the bumps of his spine as they both shifted to get comfortable. 

“Yo thanks for being my table.” Derek said as he leant his book on Dex’s back, getting a grunt in reply. He did not get much reading done after that, too easily distracted by the bunched muscles of Dex's shoulders and the freckles on his lower back peaking out from under his ratty Bruins tank top and gym shorts, somehow managing to look cute in such a disaster of an outfit.

 In Dex's defence fashion did struggle during exams, laundry got neglected and when it was warm out clothing choices became based on necessity and acceptable smell levels - unless you were Jack who was somehow put together enough to work out, negotiate NHL contracts, maintain a 3.8 and do laundry. His fine for showing everyone up was all the Hausmates wearing his t-shirts to team study that Thursday, ranging from the oddly well fitting Nike one Bitty had on to the fucking Hab's tent Shitty was in, everyone chirping one another as they ate the lunch muffins Bitty had made when Dex strolled in.

 Derek was not going to make it to twenty, he was going to keel over of heart failure before then because his boyfriend had just walked into Founders Library with his backpack slung over his shoulder, baseball cap on back to front and wearing a tank with overalls over the top, fucking dungarees with the bottoms folded up over his ankles.

“Sweet look brah.” Shitty said, pulling down his indoor shades to look at Dex approvingly.

“Oh dam Dex back at it again with the high fashion!” Holster yelled, everyone on the tables around them groaning in unison.

“Look how fresh my froggy D-man looks, yaaaasss.” Ransom said around a mouthful of food, the first time he had looked human in a week.

“You are working that look honey!” Bitty cooed as he tugged on the front pocket playfully as Dex, looking so surprised and charmed by the reaction, sat down in the empty seat between him and C who seemed as happy to see Dex as Derek felt wrecked by him.

 “Only had compression shorts left.” He said by way of explanation as he dumped his bag on the table. “Why are you wearing your dad’s t-shirt, Shits?” He asked, which set the whole table off trying to get their dad chirps in at Jack first, Shitty having everyone falling about laughing when he crawled across the table to sit in Jack’s lap and call him daddy.

 People were leaving the library at this point, the campus resigned to the SMH fuckery, and Derek did feel bad. Jack calmed everyone down eventually, letting Shitty stay on his lap for the meantime as he had found a way long ago to work around his crazy best friend.

 Derek, on the other hand, was in no way prepared for what it would take to keep his attention on analysing Virgil, who on any other day would have engrossed him, while Dex was looking so good. He felt Lardo looking at him, turning to find her grinning knowingly.'You got your boy owning that hotness. Well done nursey, you played yourself' she wrote on her sociology notes, nudging him under the table as she whispered, “weeeeaaaakkkk.”

 He piled up some books next to him to act as a buffer between him and the sight of Dex, shoving in his earphones as he grabbed another muffin and went to town on Aeneas being a A grade dick at the end of the poem, getting a solid two and a half hours in before a tap on his leg made him jump, knocking his water bottle over.

“Hey.” Dex said, Derek looking around and realising the only people left around the table were the two of them and Ransom who had his head in a book. “They went on a break to the vending machine.” Dex explained, leaning forward and sitting on his hands.

“ look distracting.” Derek blurted out, Lardo’s voice calling him weak echoing around his head.

“I think I look like I should have a skateboard and be about ten in an eighties movie.”

“You turned up your pants, Bitty’s been rubbing off on you.”

Dex’s ears went red and he adjusted his cap. “They’re my brothers, he’s even taller than I am.” 

“You wear them better.”

“You’ve never seen my brother.” 

“An’ yet I know it is a fact you look better than anyone has ever looked in overalls." 

“You are so full of it.”

“Bring out the worst in me Poindexter.”

They looked at one another, Dex biting his lip in a way that was not helping Virgil keep Derek’s attention. “I don’t want to distract you.”

“You do anyways, but please continue.”

“You got enough time to hang out tonight?”

“Sure, what you wanna do?”

“Go to your room and make out."

“I’ll free up the whole day for that, baby.” The endearment slipped out and Dex frowned at it.

“I don’t know if I liked that.”

“Ight, I won’t say it again.”

“Thanks.” Dex reached out and plucked at the neck of Derek’s t-shirt as he shifted back across the seats. “Keep up your studying zen, it's keeping everyone quiet enough that people are actually sitting near us.”

 Derek glanced around at the group of girls who were spread out on the table right next to them who looked puzzled when the team trooped back in and Holster only sang one verse of a Ariana Grande song before they settled down, everyone giving their table funny looks.

“Why are they so quiet?”

“I dunno but it’s really freaking me the fuck out.”

“I can’t concentrate with all this quiet!”

“Dude, I hate the hockey team.”

 Being cooped up in the library for most of the day always put a weird ache in Derek’s muscles that he would usually cure with a quick run or a spot of yoga, but Dex running a hand up his stomach and giving him a kiss that still tasted of the chicken burger he had for dinner made Derek feel great. Being pulled down onto his bed, laying on his side to look down at Dex, slipping a hand under the side of the overalls to run over his chest made him feel even better.

“Can I undo this?” Derek asked quietly, tracing a brass clip with his thumb.

“Yeah, I can...oh okay.” Dex muttered, making to undo it himself as Derek smoothly unclipped it and pushed the denim strap over his shoulder.

 Derek ran his fingers down Dex’s side to the buttons on his hips. “Can I undo these?” He asked, kissing Dex’s chin when he nodded. “Kinda wish you didn’t have a top on under this.” He admitted, smirking down at Dex as he finally got fingers on his ab’s. A strong arm wrapped around his neck and pulled him in for an open mouthed kiss, letting Derek’s tongue straight into his mouth with a little content sound that had Derek moaning. He slipped his hand across Dex’ stomach and around his narrow waist so it was sandwiched between hot skin and cotton, fingers brushing the elastic of Dex’s boxers as their legs tangled together.

“Bet you wish I was going commando too.”

“All the time.” Derek grinned against his lips, moving in for another kiss as a calloused hand found it’s way under his shirt and hooo boy did Derek like the feel of those hands on his skin. 

“You said…” Dex fished his hat out from under his head and chucked it on the floor. “You said I didn’t wanna know what you wanted.”  Derek pulled away from nuzzling into his collarbone to give Dex a look, having no idea what he was talking about. “When you got me the tie?”



Derek pinched him and Dex squirmed. “I've got this horrible feeling you’re gonna ask me again.”

“I wan’ta know what to expect.”

“Dex…” He began, trailing off into a sigh when fingers ran softly through his curls.

“D’ya really wanna fuck my mouth?”

“Actual fuck Dex!”

“Well do ya?”

“Do I wanna put my hand on your throat and feel my cock there? Yes. Do I have any expectation of that ever happening? No.” 

 “I didn’t say I was going to do any of it.” Dex pulled on the curls between his fingers, bringing Derek close enough to nuzzle his round nose into his cheek. “You don’t have to tell me every dirty fantasy, to me.”

 Derek sighed, sitting up enough to look Dex in the eyes as he wrapped his arms tighter around him. “I’d really love to suck you off in the locker room and then…” He faltered, looking down at Dex who was always willing to be touched and kissed, who he had idea if he had any interest in bottoming at all.

 Dex was giving him a shrewd look, the one he always got before he was about to call Derek out on his shit. “You can say you wan’ta fuck me I'm not gonna faint.”

“I really wanna get my hands and mouth all over your ass Dex, when you’re ready -fuck your ass it so thick I wanna do almost everything to it. I wanna bite your trap’s and leave bruises on your hips and bury my face into your collarbone while I fuck you into the bed. I want you to fuck me into the bed, I want you riding me, I want... god I want to make love to you under the stars Dex it’s embarrassing.” Derek rambled, not able to stop himself even as he watched Dex’s eyes get wider and wider. "An' that's not even the really embarrassing stuff."

“Okay.” Dex croaked out, pulling Derek on top of him. “Good to know.” He breathed against his lips and Derek was kissing him and kissing him and kissing until they were both hard and rocking awkwardly against one another, until his tongue was getting tired, until he needed to pull back to swallow all the spit in his mouth. 

 He nearly choked on it when Dex’s hand slipped between them to cup him through his shorts. “This okay?”

“I am down for whatever you want ba…” Derek winced, only just catching himself, trying to look sorry when Dex glanced at him.

“You can call me baby in bed, babe outside of it.” Dex said through almost gritted teeth.

Derek grinned, feeling a pleased spark gush through him as he thumbed at Dex’s mouth. “I would really like to suck your dick, baby.”

“Like I’m saying no to that.” Dex grumbled, or would have if there had not been a breathless quality to his voice, ears going even more red. “My STI tests are clean, I didn’t think I needed them but Lard’s...”

“Your dirty talk is spot on, brah.”

“You want dirty talk? Okay, crabs, chlamydia, HIV....”

“All right, all right. I get mine done regularly, m’all good.

 Derek undid the other clip and tugged the overalls down to drop them on the floor, leaving Dex laying there, on his bed, in boxers and a rucked up tank, flushed and freckled and lovely. Derek told him all of that as he buried his face in Dex’s hip, rubbing his cheek against the worn softness of his boxers and the burning warmth of his skin, breathing in deep the smell of boy and sweat. “Still with me Dexy?” Derek asked, running his hands up his chest to thumb at a nipple and back down to brush fingers through the downy hair disappearing under the band of his boxers.

“Yep.” Dex’s voice sounded a little strained, he had gone red nearly down to his navel, but his thumb was gently brushing over Derek’s bottom lip so he seemed okay. “Just don’t…” Dex started as Derek made to pull down his boxes. “...don’t make a comment.”

“Umm…” Dex’s dick had felt okay pressed into his hip, in fact it felt great, nothing that made Derek thinking anything except hell yEAH HELL YEAH . “...okay.”

 There was nothing weird about it. Dex’s cock was pale like he was, flushed like he was, freckled like he was, and nestled in red hair like he...was?? Derek had never seen an uncircumcised dick in person before but there was no reason to be an asshole about it. He licked from base to tip, ginning at Dex who gasped raggedly, amber eyes staring at him. “Oh yeah, baby.” Derek murmured, pulling off his top and getting back to business. “Only thing I have to say about your cock is how pretty it is.” Dex’s eyes widened like that was news to him and Derek was going to fight everyone in Maine, everyone, but first he had a dick to suck. 

 It was nothing too fancy, not wanting to spoil Dex too soon, he did that thing with his tongue it seemed everyone liked and that made Dex writhe so hard his dick came out of Derek’s mouth. He pressed an arm across his hips to hold him down, bobbing his head to meet his hand and doing the tongue thing again and again until Dex’s blunt nails were scrambling at his shoulders, head thrown back as he gasped out a warning he was going to come. Derek slid is lips slowly down Dex's dick until the head was nudging at the back of his throat, moaning at the taste and the weight of the long line of it pressing on his tongue as he swallowed around the satisfying mouthful of cock, bobbing his head again as Dex spurted in his mouth.

 He managed to dribble come down himself when he pulled off and was glad Dex was panting at the ceiling with his eyes closed so he missed it, quickly wiping himself off on his top before flopping down onto his side, feeling proud of himself. 

 Dex rolled his head towards him on the pillow, copper lashes parting slowly as he smiled at Derek a little helplessly, something raw in his eyes. “That was amazing.”

“Chyeah it was.” 

“Sorry I didn’t last very long.”

“Be offended if you didn’t.”

 Dex narrowed his eyes at him, rolling onto his side so they were face to face. “Is swallowing something that is, you know, done on the regular?”

“Wha...I don’t swallow for just anyone ‘m not a total idiot.”

“That’s not what I meant! I’m trying not ta take sex ed from porn here you...URGH!” Dex snapped, looking actually angry at Derek before the dopey smile was back. “But it’s good to know I get VIP treatment.”

“First class all the way baby, presidential suites, private dining, me swallowing. All the good things.” 

“Fucking ego.” Dex hissed, pushing Derek onto his back and straddling him. “Do you ever get over yourself?”

“Only when I look at you.” Derek admitted, letting the honesty into his eyes.

 Dex made like he wanted to say something, dropping his head shyly instead. “It’ll probably be terrible,” he said, vowels slipping closer to Maine, running his hand down Derek’s chest and under the band of his sweats, big hand cupping him through his boxers, “but I want ta try.” 

“Please." Derek whined at how well his cock fit into Dex's wide palm. "Please do.”

 If Derek was sat there with a score sheet the blow job he got was 6/10, pretty good for a beginner, but he was not. Derek was up on his elbows looking down at his thick dark cock with pink lips, always more pink then he remembered, wrapped around it, feeling Dex’s heat around the head and his rough hand around the base, felt exploratory slides of tongue, listening the wet noises Dex was making as he worked out what to do with his teeth and how to suck and move at the same time. All this had him struggling to keep up on his elbows, twitching hips held down with a firm hand, panting open mouthed as he watched the same ginger head bobbing in his lap that had been in his imagination more than a few times.

 Dex pulled off when Derek made warning noises, jerking Derek off hard so he came all over his own chest. Dex wiped him down with the already dirty top, dropping it back on the floor as he lay down on the pillow next to him.

“You were so good at that.”

“You’ve totally had better blow jobs.” Dex muttered, stretching out a kink in his jaw.

“They weren’t from you though."

“Motherfucking sap.” Dex rolled over to grab a drink of water from the nightstand, coming back with of Maryam’s bangles Derek had ‘accidentally’ come home with. “Wass this?”

“Stole it from my cousin for being a pain in the ass.”

“Hereditary is it?”

“Why I like you so much.”

“Ha!” It was a bangle meant to go higher up the arm so Dex got it on with little difficulty. “Mine now.” He declared.

“Someone gets silly after they’ve come.” Derek muttered into Dex’s shoulder as he licked at the sweat there, koala-ing around him.

“Guess I’ll be a lot sillier now I’ve opened the floodgates.”

 They didn’t actually get off on the regular. Exams, the heat, and Jack all keeping their asses physically and mentally kicked, but when they did it was great, even the time Dex tried to kick Derek in the head for putting the Or Nah remix on before he went down on him. He ended up loving it, pulling on Dex’s hair and bucking up into his mouth.

 Talk about coming out to the team came up as a distraction from Finals while snuggled together on the floor of Dex’s room because the bed was too hot. No-one on campus would look twice, SMH was a place where anything was possible it seemed. Certainly no-one on the team would care and if they did Shitty would swing into action and talk out why such a thing was an issue. 

 Dex was being calm about it all for once in his life, only stressing out when Derek’s ideas for telling them got more dramatic and romantic. He did not like being centre of attention, preferring to fade into the edges of photos and sitting in the middle of classes to try and blend in which was frustrating for Derek because he really did want to climb onto the roof of Faber and tell Helios his sun kissed child was loved by him.

 It was simple as pie in the end, Derek slipping his hand into Dex’s back pocket as they walked back from chilling by the lake. Dex jumped a little, tipping his head back so those ever complicated golden green eyes were looking at him, edges of his mouth turning up in a tiny smile that Derek never knew could be so wonderful.

 He stopped himself from kissing that smile, knowing Dex would hate it, so he grinned back instead, smiling wider as whatever was on his face made the skin between Dex’s spreading freckles flush.

Dex looked away first and caught Caitlin looking at them with such an excited look on her face, waiting for them react, nudging Ransom when Dex gave her a small nod. “Hey, why don’t you grab Holsters butt like that?” Everyone turned, expressions mainly surprised and a few very excited.

 “Oh wow! Guuuyss!” C cried, jumping into Dex’s arms, pulling Derek down into the hug with a flailing arm and they all staggered violently to the left, nearly taking Jack out where he was giving Bitty a piggyback. “I’m so happy for you, oh guuuyssss." 

“You crying C?”

“I’m so happy for you!”

“Aww sweetheart.” Caitlin joined the hug, wrapping her arms around Chris.

“Frogpile!” Lardo declared and eight more people were jumping on them like they had just scored a winning goal.

“Hey Holtzy, I’d totally grab your ass if you wanted to, man. I’d be honoured to do it.”

“I know bro, no worries.” Holster said over Derek’s head. “I’d do the same for you.”

“More importantly.” Shitty yelled from where he had half climbed Jack. “What the FUCK! How are the frogs all pairing up and we’re still all single! How is JACK SINGLE! HOw the FUCK IS RANSOM SINGLE!”

“I KNOOOOOOWWW” Holster yelled back and Derek had never been more happy, stood in the middle of the sidewalk with his boyfriend crushed against his side from the love and support of his crazy team mates while they were all yelling about how amazing and not deserving of singledom they all were.

“Can you guys not be weird for one day please?” An unknown voice said outside the huddle.

“I’m sorry dude but our team-mates trust us enough to come out to us and we wanna affirm the hell outta one another." He heard Lardo say. "So take the detour my ma'am there you go easy as that have another slice of pizza for all those calories you just burnt.”


                                                                                        _/ _X_ \_

Finals came, finals went, home was calling and Jack and Shitty were leaving for bigger and better things, for success and adulthood. The whole team was sad, tears being shed at their last night together as the Frogs said goodbye the the seniors, Shitty all out sobbing as he hugged C. 

“Hey Jack, I just wanna say you have been a great captain.” Derek heard Dex saying as he comforted Bitty who had baked every one of the Seniors favourites as a way of expressing his emotions. “Like really great. I don’t know what I expected of college Hockey but you made it a joy man. Honestly. I have loved being in your team and getting to know you, you’re a really great guy and The Falcs are lucky to get you...oh.” Jack was hugging Dex and Dex was hugging him back, Jack blushing slightly at the compliments. 

“You were a pleasure to play with Dex, you all were. I’ll miss you guys.”

“You know your ass will get even bigger now you're in the NHL.” Dex said into the hug and Jack burst out laughing.

 Derek would miss Jack even if he was just down the road in Providence, and life without Shitty was seeming like a dull prospect, but he would miss Dex more. It was a four hour drive between Maine and Manhatten but it might as well have been weeks, the summer break years. He had swung a publishing internship so that would be a distraction for his pining between the planned visits but Dex was going to have to go back on the Lobster boat, jobs still scarce back home, and he did not look happy about it.

“Gone off to a college in Boston with a scholarship and when I come back still gotta pull pots, they’ll be lining up to get their shots in.” He grumbled one night, shoving clothes into a duffle bag like they were saying all the things Derek knew were running through his mind.

 “Hey umm, so.” Derek started the morning before they had to get out of dorms, his mom’s email open on his phone. “My mom’s law firm is looking for someone to cover paternity for the guy who looks after the website, the office portals and stuff, maybe help build a new security system for them. Ummm, she’s sent me the application form, if you wanna, ya know, fill it in?”

Dex blinked at him over his breakfast, “I can’t afford to live in New York.”

“We have a spare room, if you want it. Or… my room.”

“Your room? Oh.”

“No it’s...yeah I will miss you so much and write disgusting poetry about it but this is for you, babe. You’re unhappy and I want to make you happy. You might not even get the job.”

“Ayuh, your mom is totally not gonna give her only child's boyfriend the job!" 

“If you’re not what she wants she won’t and we’ll both have to deal with it.”

“I can’t just stay at your parents house all summer!”

“They’re hardly there. We’ll be working all the time anyway, my internship is half way across town.”

 Dex let him forward the email and then said nothing else about it after they parted, Derek itching to ask his mom if she had got the application but not wanting the temptation of meddling. If he begged she would give Dex the job, she was a hardass but her soft spot for her son was vast; getting a job at his mom’s firm would do wonders for Dex’s future career options but it if it was on Derek’s wheedling and not on his merit that was time bomb guaranteed to blow up in Derek's face.

 He came home two weeks into his long, Dex-less summer to find his mom and her assistant Anne having an intense discussion about where to put a very nice antiquee desk in the bigger guest room. “Has ma messed up your filing system again?” He asked as that old argument was the reason every time his mom had moved out of their shared office.

“Hmm?” She looked up from where she was inching the desk closer to the wall. “Oh no, we’re getting a house guest for the summer.”

“If it’s Maryam I’m moving out.”

“Did you not check your phone?” Anne asked, not bothering to look up from trying to untangle an ungodly mess of extension cords. 

“Left it at home." 

“Well, unless you have any interior design opinions go and check it.” His mom sighed, shooing him from the room.

“Can’t you just tell me?” He asked but got firmly ignored. “Fiiiiiiine.” He pulled off his work shirt and dumped it in the laundry before flopping onto his bed, digging around under the pillows for his phone.

 Twelve snaps, five missed calls, eleven texts, four instas, six emails. He sighed and glanced through to work out the priority. Most of the snaps were from his modern lit seminar group, instas from his intern friends, three of the calls were from Dex, one from his mom and one from Anne. He frowned, seeing Dex had sent seven of the texts and went to read them.

Tangerine Boy


Yo call me back 


I got news for you.


You forgot your phone didn’t you?


I got all this news to tell you and you forgot your fucking phone gdi Nursey.


I can get a call back from your mom but not from you.


How does that make me feel as a boyfriend?


So I got a job at this little place called Taylor, Stanford & Nurse, you heard of it?

 Derek was on his feet in an instant, sprinting down the corridor and into the guest room to hug his mom. “Oh Derek! Honey.” She said fondly, hugging him back tightly. He pressed his face into the sturdy material of her blouse, she always smelled of offices and Chanel and to Derek it was home and happiness.

“Thank you mom, thank you, thank you. It’ll mean so much to him, thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. People with more experience applied but William showed potential, and you know how I like to see potential given a chance.”

“He’s amazing.”

“If I had any doubts about hiring him they were eased by the twenty minutes it took for me to persuade him to move in here for the duration.”

“You may never get him back if he lives up to their phone calls.” Anne said, standing back proudly from her untangled pile of cables.

“You can keep him mom, as long as he’s happy.”

 Her strong hands cupped his cheeks and pulled his head back so she could look up at him with her pale green-grey eyes, the same eyes Derek saw in every mirror and every photo of himself, “I am very proud of the man you’re becoming Derek. Now, stop distracting me. Go call William.”

 Derek went and threw himself on his bed so hard he bounced, grinning as he listened to Dex’s phone ring.

“Finally got home then?” Dex answered, smile evident in his adorably thick Maine accent. 

“You absolute, beautiful shitbag Dex. You motherfucker. You dick oh my god you didn’t tell me you applied!”

“Your support and enthusiasm overwhelms me, Nursey.”

“Yeah yeah you know I’m vibrating off my bed. I almost cried to my mom I’m so stoked.”

“You cried?”

“Almost, besides you didn’t tell me!

“...I didn’t want you ta know if I didn’t get it.”


“Yeah well. I’ve talked ta your mom now so I believe she wouldn’t’ve given it to me just because.”

“You held your ground on coming to stay, she’s impressed."

“I gave up after like, fifteen minutes.”

Derek laughed. “That’s ages for her trust me. I can’t wait to see you again, when are you coming?”

“I start Monday so I dunno, Sadahday?”

“Can’t you come Friday night?”

“You’re being thirsty Nursey. Heh, Thirsty Nursey.”

 Derek was being so thirsty and he did not care one bit, he wanted to bury his face in the back of Dex’s neck and rest his fingertips on the cut of his hip because his boy sleeps naked and Derek loved it, all that pale freckled strength for him to touch like a creeper.

 But he had to wait three whole days for that, moping around the apartment dramatically while Anne and ma teased him about it mercilessly.

 Part of the perks package of his mom’s firm was that new employees flying in got picked up from the airport by one of their drivers which meant Derek had to wait even longer to see Dex. It also gave his ma enough time talk mom down from running the curtains to the dry cleaners in a last minute panic clean although she had spent all her free time making sure the apartment was spotless, the fancy dining chairs appearing that only came out for Christmas, Easter, and Ramadan.

 His parents were cuddling in the bright sunshine coming in through the panoramic windows, swaying to their own music, being everything that Derek had ever wanted when the intercom buzzed like a sign from the universe. He skidded over to it in his socks, smiling as he saw Dex frowning at the camera, cap on backwards, a burnt nose obvious even in black and white. “Hey there handsome.” 

“Nursey? What the hell? Why am I buzzing you to get in a elevatah?” 

“It’s the private one for the penthouses.” Derek grinned, imitating Dex's accent and feeling a little disappointed when it got no reaction.


“It’s only a top floor apartment, just...I’m buzzing you up stop bitching about it.”

 Dex stomped out of the elevator, looking genuinely surprised by Derek’s home. It was open and modern, high ceilings, panoramic windows looking out over the next couple of blocks, a balcony, large rooms. Guy’s at Andover had even bigger and more expensive places like this in the city but it was not until Dex gave the chandelier an alarmed look that Derek remembered this was not ordinary. He had no idea what Dex’s house was like, he never spoke about it, and now he really wished his mom had been less keen on making everything look perfect.

 Dex did smile when he saw at him, it bloomed across face like he could not help it, dropping his duffel bags as Derek pulled him into a kiss, wrapping his arms around Dex’s waist and pulling him close. “Missed ya.” Dex whispered against his lips and Derek could not help but smile, pressing his face into Dex’s un-cut, un-ruly hair that had caught the smell of sea air and sunshine after just three weeks in Maine. Derek could practically feel poetry brewing about it.

 They parted slowly, Dex letting his hand run down Derek’s arm as he kept his hand curled around Dex’s side. “Will, these are the parents. Parents, this is Will.”

 His ma swept forward, pulling Dex down into a firm hug. “We are very pleased to meet you William, we have seen you before at matches but a distant number 24 on the ice is not really the same.”

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you too, ma’am.” Dex smiled politely, snapping out of his accent so suddenly it made Derek blink.

“Ma’am! You call me Sami or auntie whatever is more comfortable for you.”

“Oh, thank you umm...Sami." 

 Ma smiled and made a ‘no matter’ hand gesture as mom stepped forward, hand out and took Dex’s in a firm handshake before remembering herself and using it to step into an awkward bro hug while ma shook her head at them.

“Welcome to our home William." 

“Will is fine ma’am.”

“Eleni, please. Now we want you to make yourself at home, its - leave those bags here while I show you around -”

“-would you like a drink Will it’s been a long journey?-”

“-then you can unpack and do whatever you want and we’ll order in what you like for dinner.”

“Uh, tour would be great, whatever you have that’s cold please ma’am, I mean Sami sorry, umm yeah sure - I’ve heard a lot about New York pizza?”

 Derek followed them around from the living room to the balcony (where Dex was shown how to open the sticky door), into the kitchen where a laminated list of where everything was was stuck to the fridge, back out past the dining room and up to the main office, then down to the guest room where Dex’s little office had been set up with all the sockets, houseplants, pen holders, trays, and note paper he could ever need. “I’m going to embarrass you both now. I didn’t like to assume so I’ve made up a bed in here as well, I know working and sleeping in the same space is not ideal but you’re used to dorms. You can use it, or stay with Derek, or use it to get some space it’s totally up to you what you do.” They finished off with the guest bathroom, the other guest room, an indication to the no-go zone of the master bedroom, and then finally Derek’s room.

“Your mom’s are not what I expected.” Dex said a little later as he put clothes away in the dresser Derek had cleared, the both of them pretending not to notice what a mile-stone that was.

“They've had to make sacrifices because they’re Lesbian women of colour in high powered male dominated jobs. S'not ideal but I'm proud of them. Under all that they’re just the same collage girls that fell in love, so I guess that's a victory.” Derek explained softly, leaning on the dresser and getting in Dex’s way.

“They’re really nice, really welcoming.”

“Yeah, we have guests quite a lot but it’s always family so it’s super stressful, and when I’m here they realise how lonely they’ve been.” Derek ran his fingers through the soft hairs at the base of Dex’s skull. “They really want you to feel at home.”

“It’s bigger. Than I imagined. The rooms are so tall. My house isn’t as big as this. I’ve never had this much space before. Never thought I would.” He turned to look at Derek, throwing an arm around his shoulders and knocking their hips together. “Now I’m living it up in my sugar daddy’s pad.”

“Oh my god." 

“Gonna show your baby around town tomorrow and buy him nice things? Spoil me rotten?”

 Derek looked at his sweet smile, freckles thick where his t-shirt had not been, eyes a colour he was sure he would never see on another person. Dex was so clever, so direct, so fiery, so determined, so awkward, so loving, so utterly perfect in Derek’s eyes, making his heart soar and ache and miss beats with ease- he would give him anything.

“You know I would.” He said hoarsely, wrapping his hand around the back of Dex's neck to lean their foreheads together. "I would give you anything you asked for and more just to see you happy."

“Yeah, I know.”

                                                                                         _/ _X_ \_

Bits: Y’all I am baking up a storm!

        Lemme know where y’all are at I’m sending y’all some goooodiiees.



Chowder: WOW Bitty thats so amazing thank yooou

Holster: Lol dude

Ransom: lol dude

Chowder: Send it to the same place as the xmas stuff please THANK YOU BITTY

Holster: Send it to Ransom.


Ransom: Send it to Holtzyboo.

Jack: I thought I was the cutest bro?

Bitty: So just all'a y'alls usual places then?

Lardo: You my prettiest bro Jackie don’t make me come up there.

Shitty: ???????? Ummm Jack is fucking my prettiest brah

Holster: Ransom is mine.

Ransom: Holster is mine

Nursey: Yeah same place Bits

Holster: :D

Dexy: Bits you are so kind you don’t have to do that thank you so much.

          Send mine to Nurseys please Bitty if that’s okay?

Lardo: we can both find him pretty shits stop with your Jack hegemony.

Chowder: AWWWW Are you visiting Nursey thats so sweet!


               ARE YOU GUYS


Dex: No I’ve just taken leave of my senses and sending that fucker my cookies.

Lardo: Woo Nurse geddit.

Shitty: My mlm frogs getting it on all summer long I’m so proud of you guys.

Dex: Why is it always Nurse geddit not Dex geddit?

Nursey: Cause you the real prettiest bro.


Holster: SO fucking FINED NURSEY

Nursey: Worth.It

Lardo: Pffft you guys gonna angrily bone now??

Bitty: Y’all are so sweet

Jack: They get 2x the baked goods that is unfair.


Tangerine Boy


YOU R DEAD & I’m not paying any of that fine.



No-one is saying you’re not the prettiest.


Double care package tho Dexy

Tangerine Boy


Lol we’re gonna get so fat



More cushion for your pushin’

Tangerine Boy


You’re getting a fine for that.



Will dinner at a Korean BBQ place I know pay it?


Tho maybe don’t wear ur new jeans, it’s hot enough as it is without you raising the temp. 


You ignoring me?

Tangerine Boy


Lifetime fine.

 Dex wore the jeans because he was a contrary son of a bitch. They were a pricey present from Derek as a congratulations for getting the job; he had tired to hide the price tag but Dex had an eye for zero’s that would make the IRS proud, the Macys sales assistant pretending to be busy while they had a whispered argument at the tills, Dex seeming only to cave so he could waggle his eyebrows at Derek and call them his sugar baby jeans.

 Not that Derek was complaining, they made every inch of Dex’s long legs work. They hugged his hockey thighs just right and did such righteous justice to his pert ass people checked him out as he strolled down the sidewalk. It gave Derek a swell of pride to see people appreciating Dex, feeling smug when he slipped his hand into the back pocket so the curve of Dex’s butt fitted into his palm. 

 After some competitive footsie that was disrupted by their server and a pleasant meal in which Derek was only mildly insulted they took a long walk back through the emptier parts of Tribeca in the warm summer air that Derek thought smelled fragrant but Dex complained stunk of exhaust fumes and hot tarmac. Derek had his hand in his pocket the whole time, keeping it in there all the way up in the elevator as they exchanged chaste kisses, keeping it there while they said goodnight to his moms who were pretending like they did not notice, only taking it out to shove the jeans down and push Dex onto the bed.

“Do you know how many people were looking at your ass tonight?” He breathed into Dex’s neck as he kissed his way down it, unbuttoning his shirt with clumsy fingers.

“One. You.”

“Loads of people, your ass looks great in those jeans.” Derek gave him a hard kiss before nipping across his collarbone. “Your ass is great.”

“I play Hockey, we all have great butts.” Dex gasped, running the palms of his hands over Derek’s back.

“Yeah, but yours is a gem.” Derek sat up to look at him. “Can I show you how much I like it?”

 Dex went red so fast it was almost audible. “I should freshen up then.”

“I don’t care.”

“Fucking hell Nursey.” Dex grabbed his hair to roughly yanked him down into a kiss, sharp teeth tugging on his bottom lip. “Okay,” he panted, “but not your mouth.”

 Derek kissed him again so hard their teeth clacked, moaning as Dex grabbed his ass. “I can make that work.”

 They stripped quickly, Derek getting caught in his t-shirt as Dex rolled around the bed laughing at him, golden eyes bright with humour. 

“I see how it is.” Derek growled when he climbed onto the bed, manhandling a pillow under Dex’s hips while being sworn at, resting his hands on Dex’s boney knees when he stopped fidgeting. “Spread ‘em.” 

 Dex’s faded flush came back full force. He bit his lip as he let his legs fall open, fingers tight on the bed sheets, every muscle tense which looked great despite it being the opposite of what Derek wanted.

 He put his mouth to good use, lightly pressing his lips to the crease between scowling eyebrow before ducking down to suck kisses along the inside of Dex’s freckled thighs until he he heard a panted whine from above him. “Beautiful.” Derek murmured, pouring some of Dex’s hypoallergenic lube onto his fingers and gently warming it. “You’re so lovely Will. So so lovely for such a pain in the ass.”

 That got a laugh, Dex relaxing as he smiled. “You’re going to be the pain in my ass tonight.” His face fell as soon as he said it. “I didn’t mean it like that…”

“I know. I’ll try not to hurt you.” Derek took Dex’s flagging dick in hand and gave it a few pumps as he gently rubbed the pad of a finger over his tight little hole. “I know you’ll tell me if it hurts but lemme know, ‘kay?”

“You bet I will.” Dex frowned, making grabby hands for Derek to come and kiss him and who was he to deny Dex that? 

 He applied pressure as they traded open mouthed kisses, pulling away to lean their foreheads together so he could watch Dex’s face do several peculiar, pinched things. “Okay?”

“Weird. It’s so...weird.” He made a little breathless noise as Derek slipped into the first knuckle. “Very weird, don’t...”

“You want me to stop?”

“No, no can you...more lube?”

“Course babe.” Derek pulled out slowly and put so much lube on his fingers it dripped onto Dex’s hip.

“Well done”

“Shut up.”

 He kissed Dex carefully as he slid his finger in again, pausing at the first knuckle before sliding smoothly on to the second. He let Dex frown for a moment, adjusting, then pushed in a little further, pulling it out to run the pad of his finger over his hole before slipping in again. He did it a few times until Dex started to look a little underwhelmed, smiling as he crooked his finger.

 Dex’s eyes flew wide open, “Oh! Oh! Oh oh Okay oh. Oh.” He gabled, hands gripping Derek’s shoulders hard.

 “That is your prostate.”

 “Oh. Oh fuck. Ohh.” Dex swallowed, then made a little noise in his throat Derek wanted to hear all the time, taking a moment to shudder as he rubbed his fingertip gently over Dex’s prostate.

 He tried to kiss Dex again but he was not with it, tossing his head on the pillows as he squirmed under him, trying to process the new sensation. “Can you take another one?” Derek asked against Dex’s lips, holding still as he blinked up at him.

“Why the hell not.”

“That’s the spirit.” Derek grinned, taking his finger out slowly, licking up the underside of Dex’s cock and getting lost for a moment in the taste of him, sucking him down a few times before a muffled groan and a wild knee to the ribs reminded him what he was doing.

 Dex took two of Derek’s thick fingers like a champ despite being so fucking tight, pressing his forehead into Derek’s shoulder to look even though the angle meant he could not see anything as Derek smoothly slid his fingers home and pressed hard against his prostate.

 He fucked Dex with his fingers, firm hand on his chest as he bucked and writhed, pulling Dex’s hand from his mouth so he had to let out his cries and moans, eyes wide and hazy whenever he looked up at Derek, flushing and lovely. “You are so lovely Dex, so lovely. Taking my fingers like that, god you are so beautiful baby.” 

 Dex moaned and pressed his head back into the pillows. “Derek, Derek I can’t anymore. I can’t please. Please.” He whispered and Derek gave him what he wanted, bobbing his head twice on Dex’s dick before he came with a surprised shout that everyone in the apartment must have heard but Derek did not care and it looked like Dex did not realise, whining between heaving breaths as Derek milked him through it. He got a hand on himself as he pressed his face into Dex’s stomach, so hard from just looking at him, feeling his heat from the inside, from having the taste of his come in his mouth, shooting his load quickly onto Dex’s leg.

“How was that, babe?” Derek asked as he reached for a baby wipe, kissing Dex back to the here and now while he cleaned them up. 

“I…” Was all Dex said, looking stunned and sated and tired.

“Yeah, you were amazing.” He kissed the curling tips of Dex’s sweaty hair. “You’re so, so amazing.”


 A giant box with a hand drawn peach on the side arrived a couple of days later, the two of them ripping it open while Anne and mom looked on intrigued. On the top there was some Georgia souvenirs, Dex shoving the denim Peach State cap on his head and twisting it around like it was second nature as Nursey pulled on the sweatshirt with GEORGIA emblazoned on the front. Underneath those were cinnamon snaps and lemon muffins, blueberry madeleines and nutella cookies, a container of mini blueberry cobblers and pecan pies and a giant red velvet cookie in the shape of a heart that Dex matched in colour when he saw it.

“What on earth is all this?” Ma asked when she got in from her shift at the hospital, the kitchen covered in baked good as Dex tried to get it all in a selfie, Derek balancing on a stool on the other side of the counter so his sweater could be seen.

“Eric from their team sent it.” Mom said, hovering out of shot ready to pounce. 


“He bakes a lot.” Derek said, hopping down to check the picture.  “We’re gonna have to send him back a load of New York stuff.”

“Do they do NYC daisy dukes?”

“Duuuuuuude! They have to!”

“Aww, he sent a heart cookie! Take a picture with that boys.”


“Go on it’ll be cute.” Ma held out her hand and Dex handed his phone over, resigned, flushing down his neck as Derek held up the cookie and pulled a bit off to hold it out for Dex. He got a look that was half betrayed and half mortified, Dex’s nostrils flaring before he let Derek feed it to him.

“That'll make a nice picture.” Mom said through a mouthful of lemon muffin.


Dex: [Sent Photo]

        [Sent Photo]

Lardo: Grooooossssss

           Did you fall in the pies Nursey?

Dex: Wish he had

Bitty: Y’all that Cookie picture is the cutest omggg!!!! (Loving the kitchen btw Nursey)

Ransom: I don’t know who gets the fine, you two or Bitty for enabling it.

Lardo: Fine the boys they took it to the disgustingly cute level.

           BTW Bits you are gonna LOVE what I sent you back brah.

Ransom: Court will be held on our return next semester.

Bitty: Will I have to open it away from my mother?

Lardo: Have to? No. Should? Probably.

Ransom: After a consultation with Holster I withdraw my charge of a fine for food sharing.

Holster: BFF sundaes are the BOMMMBB!!!!!!!


Bitty: Lord above D&N did y’all send this urgent how did it get here so quickly?

Nursey: We sent it by the power of Dex’s rage.

Dexy: We used hipster mail, you wouldn’t have heard of it.

Bitty: [Sent photo]


Ransom: YOu been keeping up on those squats Bits I am prouuud.

Jack: Haha nice Bits.


                                                                                          _/ _X_ \_ 

“So uh, I have an admission.”

 Derek turned to look at Dex, smothered in sunscreen with his cap around the right way for once, clutching the stuffed elephant he had won himself as he made a point of ignoring the corn dog Derek was eating. He had demolished the cobblers Bitty sent so quickly it was kind of gross so he was on a self enforced health kick which sucked for him because fairground food was liiiiiit.

 Coney Island had never really been Derek’s idea of fun, too many people and too much noise, but is was a New York thing and a cheesy date thing so here they were. Dex had enjoyed it for a little while, but he did not do roller coasters so they were sat with their feet up on a railing looking out at the sea and distant Sandy Hook.

“Don’t tell me, you’ve realised you really are straight.”

“Glad you’re taking it so well.” Dex put the elephant down and slipped his fingers through Derek’s, ears flushing. “I wasn’t snooping, I was looking for nail clippers and I think I looked somewhere you thought I never would.”

 Derek knew immediately what Dex had found. It was not embarrassing, he was being prepared and it was not like it was an old douche kit - he bought a new one for them. Actually he was a little embarrassed about that part, it was so sappy he almost wanted to fine himself. “I like being prepared.”

“Ya’ know I put aside some money to get one at Samwell but never got up the balls to do it.”


“Ayuh, you said you wanted to do stuff to me …”

With you." 

Dex looked at him, eyes hidden behind a pair of Derek’s ray-bans, “...with me and my ass. Knew one day I’d be up for it.”

 Derek swallowed, suddenly very aware of the group of kids noisily chatting on one side of them and the couple with their granddaughter on the other. “I don’t expect anything from you. If you never want to that’s fine, if you only want to do me I switch anyways so.” 

“That’s good to know but I said I was up for it.”

“Yeah and I want you to know there is no pressure to do what I want.” 

 Dex laughed. “Nursey!”

“Yeah okay.” He dropped his knee to tap Dex’s leg; if he did not want to you could not even lead Dex to the water let alone make him drink it, the stubborn bastard. “Still.”

“I know, thanks Derek. Really. S’nice to know, but I never thought any different. Of you.”

 Derek smiled at him, glad sunglasses and his skin hid the blush on his cheeks, casually rubbing in a spot of sunscreen on Dex’s neck. “However and whenever you want to do it babe, I’m down.”

“You’re mom’s going to the Polo on Saturday?” Derek nodded. “All right, then. I want you then. I want to try it. That okay?”

 Derek brought their conjoined hands up to press a sunscreen and sea-salt tasting kiss to the back of Dex’s hand. “I love you.”

“I love you too but that’s not an answer.”

“Of course it’s okay you hot piece of…” Derek snapped his mouth shut having caught the eye of the woman sitting on the next bench who was looking like she wanted to interject. Dex turned as Derek had stopped talking, pushing his sunglasses down and smiling at her.

“Excuse me, we’ve run out of sunscreen, might we borrow some for my granddaughter?”

“Of course ma’am.” Dex ducked under the bench to grab a bottle from Derek’s backpack.

“Oh thank you so much, we were sure we had enough for the day.” 

“Don’t mention it ma’am, I always carry two lots ‘cause it’s so easy to run out.”

 The little girl, looking snatched a sparkly sun hat and rainbow dress, stepped forward cautiously to take the bottle while declaring, “My name is Olive.”

“And mine is William, nice to meet you Olive.” 

 They chatted for a little while, Dex getting her to warm to him with ease , smiling at her in a way that Derek had only seen directed at him, Olive's tinkling laugh ringing out as Dex sent her skipping back to her smiling grandparents with the bottle of sunscreen he had let her keep. He was so good with kids, really good, would make a great parent one day and Derek put that thought away for much, much later, along with the one about what ring would best suit his long fingers.


If you had not guessed already Derek thought Dex was so, so lovely - was getting lovelier in fact. Whatever was wound up deep inside him almost a year ago had relaxed and you could see it in his eyes, across his shoulders, in his face that would always have a somewhat boyish prettiness to it despite the scars and lumps he had from being a brawler.

  The day was quiet and overcast, the sunlight weak enough to not wake Dex but bright enough for it to light up the golden flecks in his hair, casting him in a soft glow as he lay sprawled on Derek’s egyptian cotton sheets, hair curling in its sleep mussed state as he had still not had a haircut. The only thing that would make the sight more perfect was if Derek could see green-gold eyes peeking at him.

 He had heard his parents leave for the polo a few hours ago and had been dozing since then but Dex gently snored through, breathing deep and even, one hand under the pillow and the other curled up into a fist by his face. Derek gazed, trying to keep his breathing shallow so as not to disturb Dex. They had been up late talking about Hockey, about the next year, about the future, Dex trying to not get emotional about the comfortable amount of money he had to go into sophomore year, getting emotional when Derek told him he would never have to set foot on another Lobster boat again if he did not want to.

 Dex had said Saturday for them to, well if not fuck then do something very intimate, and on any other morning Derek would be rolling onto Dex and waking him up with kisses and wandering hands but now he could not bare to wake him. He supposed that was what love was, rather looking at someone drooling onto their hypoallergenic pillow than fucking them.

 He pushed a few fiery strands away from Dex’s cheekbone and sighed. Derek was weak and unchill and very, very in love, so in love he was scared of it, of another person having such damaging access to him and his heart. He slid out of bed quietly, padding into his en-suite to piss, brush his teeth, and shave, splashing water on his face and giving himself a stern look in the mirror.“Come on Derek, you’ve blown enough hot air about this boy you knew you were gonna fall stupidly hard for him. Don’t be a little bitch about it now.”

 He rolled his shoulders and padded out just as Dex was stretching, rolled onto his back with his fingers pressed into the headboard, toes pointed so they touched the end of his Queen sized bed, sheets thin enough that the line of his hipbone and the shadow of his soft dick were visible. His lashes fluttered as he let out a little complaining noise in the back of his throat before sinking into the bed with a contented sigh.

 “I love you so much.” Derek blurted out

 Dex looked over at him, eyes sleepy and soft. “I know.” He held out a hand and Derek tripped over his feet to kneel on the bed, falling back when Dex tugged him down, hands coming to hold Dex's hips as his warm body, still languid from sleep, rolled on top of him. “I love you too, Nursey.”

 A tingle when through his whole body as he beamed up at Dex, smoothing a hand up his back, “I still can't believe you do.”

 Dex brushed their lips together, his eyes closed sleepily. “Too early to deal with you being an idiot.” He muttered and kissed Derek with soft lips and morning breath, tongue lazy and slow, smile on his lips. It was the best kiss Derek had ever had.

“Now.” Dex said, curling his arms around Derek’s head on the pillow so he could play with the hair by his ears, planting a noisy kiss on his lips. “If you make me one of your smoothies for breakfast” he kissed Derek again, “can you keep yourself busy”, another kiss, “while I take a shower?” His eyes were open now, awake enough to blush and Derek nodded.

  After a few more kisses and rough fingers stroking over soft skin Derek got out from under Dex, falling into the wall as he pulled his boxers on which got soft, husky laughter following him across the apartment.

 He did not hear Dex padding into the kitchen but he sensed him, grinning like an idiot at the nutribullet when an arm covered in the soft white material of the sweater Bitty sent wrapped around him. Dex kissed his neck and ear while he waited for Derek to pour out blueberry smoothie for him, leaning his hip on the counter as he drank it down never breaking eye contact, adam's apple bobbing temptingly. The click of the glass on the counter was loud between them as Dex wiped his mouth on the back of a hand while the other one grabbed Derek by the neck and pulled him in for a kiss. There was the taste of blueberry and mint on his tongue when Dex pulled away to saunter off towards the bedroom with barely a backwards glance, Derek so hard he had to take a moment to stare into the garbage disposal before he could follow. 

 Going overboard was just who he was. His chill exterior was built up over the years to protect an overly keen, excitable, affectionate kid from a world that thought all of those things were weaknesses. Dex had hated that exterior, had hated Derek for it, and he wondered if it was because his bullshit sensor was so finely tuned that he saw it for the lie it was, so he felt only a little embarrassed by what he had done to his room while Dex was in the shower. It was honest after all.

 He had turned down the bed, plumped the pillows, half lowered the blinds so the light was even softer, put a pile of towels on one nightstand next to a neat little stack of different types of condoms for Dex to choose from because he had allergies, the bottle of lube, and some wet wipes. He had stopped himself again at rose petals, knowing that was going to explode into something so overboard when he felt the time was right but he had got several types of vitamin water to put in a cooler on the other side of the nightstand because hydration was important.

 When he heard the shower shut off he put his sex playlist on low, perching on the end of his bed and trying to look like all this was nothing when Dex came out in a cloud of pineapple scented damp air with a towel over his head. He pulled it off slowly to sit on his pale shoulders, hair a wavy red mess around his ears like a painting of a medieval saint.

“Yo, why does it look like a porn set in here?” Dex asked, eyeing the cooler with confusion. 

“Fuck you, I’m being prepared!”

“Yeah.” Dex dropped the towel in the laundry basket and strolled closer, his dick on the edge of hardness which was fine because Derek was definitely already there. He slid into Derek’s lap, knees either side of his hips and arms around his shoulders, skin still cool from the shower. “I appreciate it.”  

 They looked at one another, Dex’s eyes flicking all over Derek’s face with such intensity every blemish and imperfection felt like it was glowing. He took in the patterns of the freckles across Dex’s shoulders, up his long neck to the dense ones over his nose and cheekbones. Derek noticed his bottom lip was pinker than usual, almost red, swollen slightly, a small purple blotch on one side where he had bitten it while he was preparing himself. He flicked his eyes up and met burning gold, all the heat in Dex now in those eyes, heart thumping in his chest.

 Slowly, almost as if he was moving through treacle, he raised a hand to run a thumb over his bottom lip, trying to sooth the bruise, gasping when Dex kissed the pad of his thumb, moaning when he pressed softly and Dex let his thumb into his mouth, closing his lips around it to suck gently, eyes still holding Derek’s with a shy intent in them. 

 Derek slid his free arm around Dex, fitting his face into the junction of neck and shoulder to stuck a bruise there in time to the suction around his thumb, nipping at Dex’s soft skin whenever teeth caught his a knuckle. He sat back to admire the hickey, a dark red amongst the thousands of orange flecks, leaning back in to press his tongue against it which had Dex gasping so loudly he let the thumb drop from his mouth. Derek was on his lips in an instant, pressing the spit covered digit into the dip at the base of Dex's throat.

“I want to make love to you Will.” He said between kisses. “With my mouth and my fingers and my body. I want you, will you let me have a piece of it?” 

“You can have all of it if you want to be dramatic.”

 Derek tipped his head back to look into amber eyes. “I lost myself when I loved you, cracks closed shut over fears with the sky just in my reach but I know my limits. I may touch universes and hold fire to my chest but cannot hope to hold a flowing tide in my hands, kneeling, at the mercy of what I find on these topaz shores. ”

“Of course you want to be dramatic.” Dex sighed against his lips, rocking forward so the heaviness of his dick brushed along the top of his own.

“Oh god.” Derek dug his fingers into Dex’s hips, gasping into his shoulder as teeth tugged on his ear.

“Are you going to ‘make love to me with mouth and body’ or did I go through all that trouble getting nice and clean just to get off rubbing my dick on yours?”

“Oh fuck.” Derek looked at Dex, Dex who had just said that to him, and attacked him with a kiss, bracing him against his chest as he flipped them around so Dex was laying on the bed with his feet just off the floor, hands touching as much of Derek as they could. “Fuck Dex.”

 The lube missed the end of the bed to lay ignored on the floor when Derek chucked it down there, favouring trailing open mouthed kisses down Dex’s stomach, pressing his lips harder over the odd cluster of freckles, nipping at his belly button then dipping his tongue into it to make Dex wiggle, laughing when he got a gentle thump to the side of the head. “Fucker.”

 He pressed his nose into the cut of Dex’s hip, the point when the freckles faded to nothing, grabbing Dex’s hips firmly as he slid off the bed until his knees hit the floor, pulling Dex with him so his ass was perched on the end of the mattress with his legs over Derek’s shoulders.

 Dex’s dick looked too pretty not to nuzzle, Derek licking at his balls as he ran his hands under Dex’s ass cheeks to give them a squeeze. “Can you hold your legs?”

“You want me to do what?”

“Hold your legs.”


 Derek tipped his head to the side so he could look up at Dex who was propped up on his elbows. “Up. So I can get to your ass.”

 Dex smirked. “You sneaking conditioning into sex now Nursey?”

 Derek growled, reaching back to grab Dex’s ankles as he stood, leaning over him to shove his knees into his chest, glaring down at Dex’s smug smiling face. “Shut the fuck up and hold your legs.”

“I like it when you growl at me.” Dex whispered as his whole body blushed, craning his head up like he wanted a kiss and Derek gave him one because he was so far gone on this asshole, telling him so as he pulled down a pillow to put under Dex’s head.

 He kissed the backs of his thighs on the way down, sliding his hands back under Dex’s firm ass to lift him slightly and part his cheeks. A surprised sound came from above him and Derek paused, giving Dex the chance to back out. “Okay Will?” 

“As okay as anyone would be with you staring at their butthole.”

 Derek snorted, leaning in to lick over the tiny muscle, smiling when Dex jolted and gasped, sucking a kiss onto it before licking over it again, getting to the warm taste of Dex under the tang of soap. His tongue wiggled past the ring of muscle easier than expected, Derek ripping his mouth away to ask, “Did you finger yourself open in the shower?” Dex made an affirmative noise and Derek growled again as he bit the soft skin of his ass, spreading Dex wider and rolling his tongue against his hole until there was spit everywhere, moaning as he slipped his tongue back inside Dex.

 Toes touched his shoulder not quite gently as Dex pressed down against Derek’s mouth. “I can’t hold my legs up.” He ground out, breath hitching as Derek sucked on his asshole. He reached up blindly for Dex’s other foot and brought it down so both feet were on his shoulders, lifting his ass higher off the bed to get the angle right. “Oh fffuck Derek. Oh fuck.” 

“You taste so good Dex.” 

“Oh Jesus.” Dex hissed, arching in Derek’s hold as he curled his tongue inside him to pull on his rim as he dragged it out, diving in again to fuck him with it, holding him up with one hand as he opened the lube and somehow getting some on his fingers, pulling back just enough to watch his fingers push past the pink furl of wet muscle, crooking them right into Dex’s prostate.

 When Dex had stopped trying to writhe off the bed Derek slowly, carefully opened his fingers “That okay babe?"

“S’ weird.”

 Derek sat back to give Dex a moment to adjust, appreciating the view of Dex sweaty and flushed, twitching around him, then wriggled his tongue between his fingers, using it to push them further apart. He pulled his face and fingers away, allowing a small smug smile at Dex’s protesting whine, pushing his thumb against his pink hole to test the give, “I can’t believe how easily you open for me Dexy.” He muttered, replacing his thumb with three fingers, licking at his rim as they slid into his body, Dex’s toes digging into his shoulders as he hissed and swore above him.

“Enough! Enough…” Dex panted and Derek pulled out, wiping his face on the sheets before coming up to lean over Dex who had his eyes closed, chest heaving, hands twisting into the sheets that he had pulled loose.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I...I don’t like feeling like this and not seeing you.” He admitted, eyes flicking open, looking uncertain. Derek cupped his cheek, pressing a kiss to his forehead, his eyelids, his nose. 

“I’m here, I’ll be right here. D'ya wanna stop or go on?”

“I was promised love making.”

 Dex smiled at him through hooded eyes when he was shown the selection of condoms, scanning over a few packs and tossing the rejects on the floor while Derek quickly went to Listerine his mouth. Dex had found the winner by the time he came back, pulling Derek close so he could roll it on him, pumping Derek’s dick while he kissed him.

 They re-arranged themselves, sheets smoothed and Dex nestled into the pillows one under his hips along with a towel, thighs open for Derek to lay on top of him as they kissed. “Derek…” Dex sighed, watching as he rolled up to kneel between Dex’s thighs, coating his dick generously in lube, “tell me you’ll be careful with me.”

 Derek fell on him, tugging on Dex’s hair as he covered his face and neck in kisses. “I will be so careful, so careful. I will take it as slow and as gently as you need.”

“Thanks. Not to inflate your ego any more but your dick is pretty thick…”

 Derek laughed, sitting back on his knees to look down at Dex who was smiling up at him, a little nervous, but a lot trusting. He opened his legs wider, giving Derek more room to press the head of his cock against Dex’s slick hole. “It helps if you let out a deep breath as I push.” Dex nodded and did just that, freezing when Derek popped inside him.

 God he was tight, and hot, and tight. Fuck. Derek had to deep breathe too, holding himself still between gentle pushes and pulls as he worked his way into Dex, pulling out to slide back in a couple of times until he was buried in him, Dex heaving in breaths, crushing Derek’s hand in his. “Feeling okay?”

“I’s...weird and...not great but not terrible. I feel...” He shifted a little, face darkening as he gasped, “...I feel really full. In a good way. A breathless way. You can move now.”

 Derek sucked on his bottom lip as he rocked his hips slowly, pulling out until Dex’s body pulled him back into his heat. He carefully scooped one of Dex's long legs up with the crook of his elbow as he tried to get the angle right, Dex’s fingers lacing into his curls as he was fucked slowly.

“OH FUCK!” Dex shouted when Derek's dick dragged over his prostate, looking up at Derek with stunned eyes, tensing around him. “Ooooh fuck. I get it now.”

 Derek smiled into their kiss, getting his knees under him to get more room for his thrusts, bending Dex almost in half but he did not seem to mind as he panted and moaned into Derek’s kisses.

“Harder.” Dex moaned. “Harder!” He demanded and Derek gave it, looking down at Dex’s face that was tipped down to watch Derek sliding in and out of him, another body deep inside him, Derek’s body. The thought made Derek’s hips jolt and suddenly he was balls deep in Dex who cried out, arching and twisting, fingers tugging on Derek’s hair, head smacking back into the pillow.


 Eyes bright with un-shed tears blinked at him, stomach heaving as he gulped in a breath. “You’re hurts. I didn’t know…”

“Hurts? I’m stopping.” Derek made to grab the base of the condom to pull out but Dex slapped his hands away.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” He growled and Derek got why he liked it so much.

 Derek kept the roll of his hips rhythmic and even but deep, so deep into Dex who was so smooth and tight, “You feel amazing, you are amazing. Fuck baby you feel so good, so tight, taking me so deep.” Derek said against his lips, his ears, his jaw, wrapping his hand around Dex’s dick and stroking him just out of time with his thrusts so he could sit up and watch Dex, his hair wild and cheeks red, writhing and moaning desperately under him. “So fucking beautiful, Will.”

 He ground in deep and squeezed as he twisted his hand up Dex’s dick and Dex let out a noise like he had just been slammed into the boards as he came all over himself, mouth open and slack, his whole body tensing as he let out a long, loud, “Oooohhhhhhhh.” Derek had to pull away from his soft lips to get up on his knees, watching his dick disappear past the red, slick, used muscle of Dex’s ass as he fucked him three times until his own orgasm that hit from the base of his spine and made every tired muscle in his legs turn to jelly, sure he made some very inelegant grunting noises as he came.

  Dex pulled him in to smush their mouths together in what was probably meant to be a kiss, running his hands all over Derek who was still a little woozy from his own orgasm, knowing from experience that Dex was probably floating an inch off the bed right now.

 They panted into one another's mouths until their positions, the sensation of come slowly sliding on sweaty skin and Derek’s soft dick slipping out of Dex got them moving. 

“How you feeling?” Derek asked as he staggered back from the bin with two bottles of vitaminwater and a pack of wipes.

“Sensitive.” Dex croaked as he took the drink, watching lazily as Derek cleaned him off. “How do I look?”


Dex rolled his eyes as he gulped down half the bottle, so red anyway it was impossible to see any blush. “You know what I meant!”

“I did, and you have your answer.”

 They settled up by the headboard, Dex kicking the towel and pillow off the bed as he curled into Derek’s side still clutching his bottle. “That wasn’t what I thought it would be like.” Dex murmured, breath shifting through Derek’s chest hair.


“I knew it would hurt a bit, didn’t know it would feel like I was being pushed open from the inside.” His kissed the bottom of Derek’s jaw as he took a swig from his drink. “Didn’t know it would be so overwhelming.”

“Good or bad overwhelming?” He asked nervously, brushing fingertips down Dex’s side.

“Good. I’ll enjoy it more next time ‘cause I’ll expect it...was it okay for you?”

 He sounded neutral but Derek could tell from the question he was worried about it. He let his hand trail lower to gently cup the curve of Dex’s ass that was still warm from his hips slapping against it. “So good Dexy, so fucking good, you felt incredible, looked so good with my dick in you.”

 Dex buried his face in Derek’s chest and left it there. “That was terrible.”

“It’s true. Know what else is?" 

“I love you.” Dex sighed contentedly.

“Fucking mind reader.” Derek kissed the top of his head, settling back into the pillows. “Love you too.”


                                                                                 _/ _X_ \_

 Derek dropped his stick, his tape, and his chill when Dex strolled into the locker room, kit bag slung across his body and hands deep in his pockets as he laughed at something Ollie was telling him.

 The last time Derek had seen him in person was four days ago when Dex had gone to see his family before pre-season started, hugging Dex tightly in front of JFK security with his nose buried in his unruly red hair that still smelt of sex after he had ridden him into the bed that morning.

 In those four days Dex had finally had a hair cut, a casual shaved sides with his hair still a wavy mess on top. It brought out his jaw, his eyes, his freckles and personally attacked Derek Malik Nurse. He picked everything up while Dex got wolf whistles and compliments, walking straight into the side of his cubby when he straightened and knocked all his pads onto the floor. 

“Fucking hell Nursey, don’t let this be a omen of things to come please!” Holster groaned, helping Derek pick up his stuff. 

“Sorry it’s really stupid…” 

 Holster patted him on the back with a huge hand. “New seasons nerves, we all get it don’t worry man. It’ll all click.”

 Derek nodded up at his new captain, relieved he dodged that embarrassing explanation, glancing across at Dex who was looking so smug, like he knew exactly how good he looked. There was only one way to retaliate and that was a quick flick of the eyes to check Dex out then a wink that sent a flush rushing to his ears. 

“FIIIINNNNEEEEE!”  Rans & Holtz yelled, each pointing at one of them. 

 Derek smirked, “I know right.”

“I’m going to punch you in the kidneys.”

“Careful Dex, sappy talk like that’ll get us another fine.”

Bitty sighed, hands on hips as he shook his head at them, trying not to smile. “An’ to think I missed this!”