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When the World is Closing in and You Can't Breathe

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“Lima, Ohio? Seriously?”

 Dean’s eyes flicked up to Sebastian’s in the mirror. “Demon infestation.”

 Sebastian hissed, then perked up. “Hey, and you’re taking me with you? What happened to ‘You’re too young,’ and ‘You’ll just slow us down’?”

“Are you complaining?” Dean asked pointedly. “Because I can turn this car around.”

“Guys,” Sam said, mild. He turned so he could face Sebastian. “There’s kind of...unique circumstances.”

Dean snorted.

“What do you mean?” Sebastian asked.

“He means that neither of us can pass for high school seniors anymore.”

Sebastian wished he had brothers who wouldn’t make fun of him for his first impulse, which was to yell “OH MY GOD AN UNDERCOVER MISSION?” But he didn’t, so he cleared his throat and asked, “What, like undercover?”

Sam gave him a look that meant he wasn’t fooling anyone, and said, “Yeah.”

“Wow.” Sebastian bit his lip. “So when you say infestation...”

 

()()()()()()()()()()

 

When they said infestation they mean “Almost every student in three counties is possessed and they’re doing something that we probably won’t like at all.”

Thanks bros.

So he enrolls at Dalton Academy and he hits on demon boys, and he sings songs Dean will make fun of him forever and ever for knowing, and he doesn’t wear the amulet his mother gave him that is the only thing he has left of her because that would be suspicious. Still, no one tries to possess him and he’s honestly relieved.

He’s honestly attracted to Blaine, and at first he honestly thinks he’s somehow managed to avoid being possessed, or that McKinley has somehow escaped the infestation.

Then he meets Kurt, who is sometimes a demon and sometimes not, but is always always always a bitch, and then he has some sort of ludicrous delusions of chivalry,  and then he has the (in retrospect: very bad) idea for the rock salt slushy.

Then all hell breaks loose.

 

()()()()()()()()()()

 

It wasn’t fair! He’d been so sure, so sure that Kurt’s demon was the ringleader. He was so smooth, so cocky. Blaine was the one being led, Blaine was the innocent bystander.

The medical records say otherwise. The nurse at this hospital in Columbus says otherwise.

“It was a miracle! The doctors said there was no hope, that once a brain is dead there’s no coming back. Then, almost two years later he just sits up, smiles, and asks for a glass of water. It was all over the news for weeks!”

Sebastian wonders how they’d missed that. Wonders what the demonic equivalent of a miracle is. Wonders if Kurt, pressed down deep inside himself, is screaming or sleeping.

Sebastian hopes he’s sleeping.

 

()()()()()()()()()

 

In the end, they destroyed him before he has a chance to complete the circle. The gate that would mean seven hundred days of non-interference from heaven if opened remains closed. The world is saved, kind of.

They burned the body, just in case, because hunters take risks in every area but this one.

Sebastian looks at Kurt, pale and asleep on the hospital bed, and wondered what price Crowley will demand for saving him. His own personal acceptable risk.

 

()()()()()()()()()

 

Sebastian had expected anything and everything from his Very First Hunt, except being caught as an end in a love triangle. Much less a love square that included two demons and a teenager. He definitely hadn’t expected to fall for the boy he hadn’t even been attracted to initially. Kurt was whole again, with only gaps in his memory as a side-effect of being possessed off and on for a year. Sebastian wondered how much of what he'd seen was the real Kurt. Remembers blue eyes crinkled in laughter at something Balam-Blain said; remembers blue eyes crackling in fury at something Sebastian said. He’s ashamed when he catches himself hoping the laughter was fake and the fury real.

He wished Kurt would stop mourning a boyfriend who'd never said a word to him that was true, so that he could find out whether he’s as funny and witty and bitchy as Sebastian thinks he is. He wished there was an easy way to say “So, hey, turns out your boyfriend was actually brain dead way before you met him and a demon has been using him as a meat suit for the last year and a half. Everything you ever thought you had with him was a big fat lie! Will you go out with me?”

“Hey, Romeo, your Juliet’s not actually dead, you know. Why don’t you grow a pair and ask him out?” Dean said as he came in, rolling his eyes at finding his baby brother sighing sadly into his pillow for the fifth day in a row.

“You’re still so young, Sebastian! You’re in the springtime of youth! Carpe diem, man!” Sam added.

Sebastian sat up abruptly and pointed shakily at both of them in turn. “You have been desperately in love with an actual fucking angel for like six years, and you are an eleven foot tall teenage girl. I am not taking advice from either of you!” he said before getting up and walking out the door, slamming it on their shocked expressions and not even able to take satisfaction from them.

“Wow, harsh.”

“I’ve only known Cas for three years.”

“Dean, I don’t think that’s the part of his accusation you meant to object to.”

Silence. Then: “What the fuck?”

 

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

 

“So it turns out your boyfriend was already technically brain dead when you met, but a demon had been using him as a meat suit for the last year and a half. Everything you ever thought you had with him was a big fat lie. And I helped kill the demon that was living in his body.”

Sebastian can’t honestly say that he wasn’t expecting the door to slam in his face, but he did sigh. Then he picked the lock and walked into Kurt Hummel’s living room like he’d been invited in. Fake it till you make it, and aren’t those words to live by?

“I’m calling the cops,” Kurt said calmly, phone in hand.

Sebastian held his hands up in the universal sign of 'I promise not to fuck with you.' “Will you just hear me out?”

“Hmm. Nope? Yes I have an emergency--”

Sebastian lunged for the phone base and disconnected the call.

“They’re going to call back, and when no one answers, they’re going to send someone out here to check on me.”

“Will you please listen to me?”

“Are you crazy? You just told me you killed my boyfriend!”

“Well, technically Dean killed him, I just held him down, and also technically he was a friggin’ demon! Do you want the fucking facts? Blaine Anderson, in a car accident when he was 15, declared legally brain dead, miraculously wakes up last year perfectly fine except for a personality transplant and an affinity for Katy Perry. Let’s be real here: isn’t that proof enough that he was evil?”

Kurt laughed like it gagged him, and Sebastian never wanted to hear that sound again in his life. The phone rang.

“Kurt.”

It rang again.

Kurt.” Outright pleading now, and Dean can never ever know about this.

One more ring, cut off halfway through. “Sorry, it was a false alarm. No, a kitchen fire, I found the extinguisher. No thank you, it’s under control. Thanks. I don’t believe you. There’s no such thing as demons.” The telephone creaks, fingers white where they hold it. A weapon or a threat because real people don’t believe in acceptable risk.

“Tell that to the ones we exorcised from you and half the people you know. You’ve convinced yourself you forgot what really happened because what you remember is too fantastic, it had to be a dream, right? Demons, angels, witches, gods, apocalypses. It’s all real. It all happens while you sit here in your nice house, going to your nice school and living your nice life.”

Kurt was shaking his head, eyes wet. “He was my first love. My first lover. Blaine wasn't...wasn’t that.”

“Yes, he was. Kurt.” Sebastian started toward him, but backed off at the hand that sprang up between them--dies a little at the hurt little sound that accompanied it. “Blaine Anderson was probably a really nice guy. He probably had a golden retriever, and tutored younger kids, and loved his family very much be he died before you ever met him Kurt. The person wearing his skin was named Balem, and he was a king of Hell. He used you, and then he used your body. Kurt, look at me. I’m not lying. I’m not crazy. Well, maybe a little crazy, but you can’t live a life like mine and not go a little nuts. Please say something, I don’t usually babble this much.”

Kurt shook visibly. “Stop talking about things I don’t want to know about.”

“He would have killed you. Then he would have killed your friends, your family. Actually he probably would have killed you last, just to make you suffer. And he would have made sure you were awake for that.”

“Stop.”

“Every single person you knew, rotting around a presence that didn’t give a shit whether they lived or died, whether they were in pain, whether the evil things it made them do while they watched broke their minds.”

Stop it! Please!”

“I can’t because you hate me for taking away your fucking boyfriend! And that sucks and I don't deserve it!”

“I don’t hate you!”

Sebastian stumbles, forward then back. What?

“I liked you too you know. Back then. I mean, mostly I hated you for trying to steal my boyfriend but most people can’t take me at my most--”

“Bitchy?”

“--witty. It was fun. Now you--you’re different.” Kurt said. “It’s not just the--” he made a motion at his face that Sebastian guessed meant his glasses. “It’s. You’re not so much like a sneaky little meerkat now.”

“Less stud, more dud?”  Sebastian clarified wryly. Kurt shrugged. “I was undercover. Just about the only real thing about me was my homosexuality.”

“How old are you really, then?”

“Twenty.”

“This has got to be the most surreal conversation I’ve ever had.”

“It’s pretty close for me too. As long as I don’t count any conversation with Castiel. That’s the guardian angel who is desperately in love with my brother.” Somewhere, Cas just got super pissed at him and doesn’t--okay, well he probably does know why.

“Kurt--do you want me to go?”

“I don’t even remember most of the time Blaine and I were together. I guess it’s the memory loss.” Kurt ignores the question and Sebastian lets him.

“Possession.”

Memory loss, because I remember saying the words and feeling the feelings and doing the actions, but it feels like it was all a dream. Like some hollow fantasy you reach for the minute you wake up. Yesterday, I couldn’t even remember his last name!” Kurt said, folding his arms protectively around him. ”This is so fucked.”

Nothing could have relayed Kurt’s stress as much as that, since he thought it was vulgar and unnecessary to swear. He supposed there wasn’t anything left to say. Sebastian hadn’t missed that past tense, not at all. “Liked” not “like.” So he waited, because until everything burns there is always, always hope

“Don’t go.”

Sebastian looked up, holding his breath. “I’m sorry, I was so worried about you rejecting me that I think I just hallucinated and missed you actually rejecting me.”

Kurt hiccuped another laugh. Still pained, but more genuine. Sebastian can live with that. “I said ‘don’t go.’ Stay. My dad and Carole have a campaign thing and Finn is probably at Rachel’s.”

Sebastian froze, unsure. “Okay, I know you think I’m good at reading between the lines and picking up on sexual innuendo, but I’m really not. Sebastian Smythe is good at that; Sebastian Winchester not so much. So if you’re propositioning me, you have to tell me explicitly, and if you’re not feel free to throw that thesaurus at my head. I won’t even block it.”

Kurt was closer now, just a bit, just close enough to touch, and God he wanted to.

Kurt leaned forward, so close Sebastian could feel hot breath on his skin. “Isn’t it ridiculous? After everything that’s happened, and after the way you’ve turned my whole world upside down, the only thing I can think is that I’m glad Sebastian is your real name.”

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt, finally certain that it was okay to do so. “No. It’s not ridiculous at all. I’m glad my name’s Sebastian, too.”

He figured he deserved it when Kurt pinched him. He wasn’t so sure he deserved it when Kurt kissed him, breathless and warm and so sweet. Not sure he deserved it at all, but he’d take it anyway. And maybe he’d convince Sam and Dean to make base in Ohio for a while. Certainly a few tearful words about the power of love would win Sam over. As for Dean...Sebastian thought about the shadow of wings, the look in his brother’s eyes when Cas showed up out of nowhere, the smile on his face that said who he was talking to before the name even passed his lips.

Maybe some tearful words about the power of love would work on him too.