If Haruka could call this a miracle then damn well this would be the only miracle that happens in his life and probably the only one that happens in his next 10 lives. His crush had just confessed to him!!! He never would have imagined himself being called out to the rooftop, a cliché choice, really, and hear the words he oh so wished the other would say to him. Shintaro had his hands clutching at his sides, facing downwards to hide his expression and is probably thinking about running away any second now but he actually stands still while he waits for the answer. Haruka couldn't believe it, Shintaro, a proud, condescending and egotistical person who is always uninterested and bitter towards about 99.9999 percent of whatever life have to offer to him, or so it seems that way, would actually taken an interest in him, put his ego to the side and confess to somebody like him who doesn't even have a body that functions properly.
Trying to calm down is definitely a problem yes, trying not to have more ridiculous illusions that would make the boy in front of him more attractive than usual is extremely hard - just look, there's the sun right there shining behind him, creating a halo and make him look like an angel but the problem is that the sun is high over their heads and there's a building behind Shintaro so all of that is an illusion, keeping himself from falling down on the ground proceeding to have a meltdown is just as impossible. Even so, he manage to keep his trembling legs still and tried to think about a reasonable reply.
Every single deity isn't helping him though as he was shot clean through the heart when the object of his really unhealthy obsession covered his embarrassed and most likely crimson red face in a smooth motion which could only be described as, elegance. This confession is making the whole world slow to a stop, makes the time tick slow and renders Haruka to question his head whether this is just another dream or is this reality. This might be a dream he said to himself when he feels as if the floors cracked and he could be falling down this instant, he would be reaching a whole new level of desperation to be able to have such a dream.
This is far enough as it is, he should wake up now and find himself in the empty classroom, smiling silly to nobody in particular and pack his backs before he goes home. Like usual, like usual. How does one wake up from a dream? Pinching their cheeks or something right? Everything will be over soon and won't be much different the next day. Raising his dominant hand to his cheek, he takes a last look at this dream, seeing how Shintaro too, raise his head up to take a look at him, confuse. "It would be great if this weren't a dream." is the last thought Haruka had before pinching himself HARD.
Only to find out that this is not a dream but in fact
Everybody says after being in a relationship with someone for a while, things will start to slow down and love won't be as strong and heated as they are before. In some rare cases, they will still be head over heels for each other and flirt with each other like they've just started the relationship, then in some cases, they will continue their days off as really really really close friends and enjoy each other's company, in other cases, love slowed down to a stop and they would agree to see other people.
There are so many cases and examples to give but there's only one thing that matters and it's the fact they are both together, in a mutual relationship with shy kisses and embarrassed comments towards anything that comes with the definition intimate. Even if the future is uncertain and they would be looking at the worst scenario ever unfolded to mankind, Haruka tries to keep his spirits up and pay attention to his lover in every way he can. The "now" is what that matters isn't it?
Having picnics together under a tree, watching movies Shintaro likes (which is actually movies that Haruka likes since he doesn't appreciate movies much ), going out on a night walk and to the garden where they could be alone and trying to get as much kisses as he can from the bashful little angel. They would try to be together everyday of the week and every minute of the day, agreed to work things out between them and try to familiarise themselves with each other's presence. Although there are times when the world go against their wishes and rains heavily on the day of their outing, one of them accidentally dropping something on another in public or even the odds of the universe that haves something to do with hospital and medicine.
Sometimes Haruka thinks the entire galaxy, star system hates him and wants to destroy every single blessing he have but as soon as he's face with the odds, he convinces himself that it's just bad timing and coincidence that happens to not just him but also everybody in this world. If he could pin one day as his best he would say it's the day when he first kissed Shintaro, as he found out that the cute raven have been secretly practice kissing at home for his sake right after they shared their first inexperienced, light hearted and passionate kiss together.
It's just his turn to have a bad day, brushing off the disappointment of whatever that had stop their plans for the day then continue to smile at a picture of Shintaro in his phone while propping his head up with his elbows and shaking his legs absentmindedly, smiling at all the photos they took together, whether it's a good one or not. There has never been a perfect relationship and even if this relationship won't work out quite well, there is still stuff he could learn from this-
His phone rang for a moment, a notification. He picked up his phone and take a look, it's Shintaro asking is he free the night tomorrow.
A rush of warmth runs through his veins as he reads the message that contains only five words, he kissed his phone a few times and tried to type back a reply but his phone lagged due to the saliva on the screen. He wiped the screen with a quiet laugh, looking out to the window as he does and notices that it's not raining anymore.
It's not that late of the night and he could go to Shintaro's house right now! Thoughts like "would Shintaro's family be okay with him coming around this late of the hour" crossed his mind but as he debates with himself, he asks himself, why should he hesitate? He have been doing that his whole life, this is the time he should go for it and see him! He could wait until next morning to see Shintaro but if he had an opportunity to see him now then why wait?? He stopped and thought about how silly it sounds before shrugging it off, finish cleaning up the place and tidies himself before going out, nothing else really matters as long as he could see his angel.
Reaching the Kisaragi household, he gave Shintaro's mother the biggest smile and gets invited into the house, He's being led to the living room and given dessert which Haruka gladly accepts as Momo runs upstairs to call her brother. Their conversation upstairs was loud and comical, it was until Momo told Shintaro he was there that he finally got out of his room and runs downstairs. The girls in the house went to prepare snacks in the kitchen while they both sit and chat. Shintaro looks so nervous and is probably ready to die but Haruka is having none of that, this may be something new but it's alright, everything is going to be fine and there's nothing to be nervous about.
It was then the sound of a plate dropped on the floor and Momo's voices of apology is everywhere that Shintaro glares at Haruka.
After a while of ruckus and cleaning, Momo and aunt Kisaragi came out with snacks on their hands which thankfully, nobody dropped something again. They started out with simple conversation and they try to get to know each other better but when the girls went back into the kitchen to get some more snacks, Shintaro stood up and went for the stairs. Haruka quickly grabbed onto his hands and questions if something is wrong but it just turns out to be an online game that Shintaro wants to be up on about that time of the night. He pulled Shintaro into an insignificant corner of the house and plead him to just let go of his plans for today and stay downstairs with him.
Haruka looked at how the other turn his head to the side and fear of upsetting his lover welled up in him, after all, he had came here uninvited, their family is kind enough to let him in the house already even if his presence had probably, actually most definitely messed up some of their plans of the night. It was until a moment later, a "I just can't say no to you." lights up the entirely corner immediately and Haruka can just about see imaginary sparks fly about everywhere, landing on Shintaro and made him glow brighter than he already is.
Just like a cliché movie, Shintaro lets out an adorable chuckle when he sees how Haruka lit up before both of them lock their eyes together and take note of the amount of distance between them. Haruka slowly raised his right hand until it reaches the side of Shintaro's head, he slid his left hand down behind the other's back, pulling their bodies closer. Shintaro seems slightly startled by the action and shies away, trying to look at anything that is not his tree of a boyfriend right now but a low, loving call of his name from Haruka brought his attention back to the other. Years ago, they are just teenagers who never dreamt about being able to love somebody so much, to want to give so much nor to receive such affection in kind but at this moment, they both wanted this, the contact, the rush of euphoria, the want to do more than where they stopped last time, more, warmer, deeper...
It was then they heard Momo calling for them.
Breaking apart faster than a cheetah could, they tidy themselves up a bit and try not to look so flustered. Haruka took one last look at Shintaro before taking his hand, laughing a little at the look of disappointed on his lover's face while the other commented on the colour of his face. They went back to the living room and simply dismiss their questions with a dumb excuse. The night was mostly spent with Kisaragi's mother talking about some moral values ... and some embarrassing memories of both her children when they were younger while Momo talks about her career and the things she saw during her trips, singing and dancing along to the CDs in the house as their mother claps along.
The entire room feels lively, much more than what he thought a family would be, or maybe it's just because he was comparing it to his own house. Either way, it just fills Haruka's heart with nothing other than buckets and buckets of love, watching how loud Momo is getting, how their mother doesn't even mind the house being this noisy, encourages it even and the way Shintaro just chuckles when Momo makes a really ridiculous comment. They're all blended into a big family.
Reassuring himself that it is okay, he latch onto the feeling of happiness, clears the last bit of his hesitation and pushes himself further, he don't want to wait anymore, if he hide his relationship with who he loves most then what are they? People's opinions? Society's views? Time is short for them to hesitate on things so why should they even complicate so much? He knows that he loves Shintaro and miraculously, he loves him back so there's nothing wrong with it, everything's alright, they love each other and that is all that matters. Moving closer towards his object of affection until his lips reaches its destination, it was then his grip on the feeling of happiness wavers as the room dropped dead silent immediately.
It is a month later and this time, they were at Haruka's house. The nurse that takes care of Haruka's health is sent back home early, after a long battle of excuses that is, as both of them want some time alone, together. Haruka still remembered how things go that night, aunt Kisaragi and Momo was trying to get the information in their heads and they slowly made up their minds to accept this relationship. "I'm really lucky" Haruka thought, sitting inside his room while Shintaro is beside him reading a mystery novel book of sorts.
Luckily, it's a warm summer day and things are moving as slow as ever. He's content just by watching his lover's expression while he reads the book but he wants to do something else too, the day is long and although Shintaro is an interesting being all by himself, he still felt that they should do something before the day ends. With a pop of an idea, he calls the boy's name, patting on the available space beside him when he looks up. Without a doubt, Shintaro scooch closer until both of their shoulders are touching before he continues to read his book, briefly commenting on how childish he is without looking at him as Haruka leans closer towards Shintaro to nibble his ear.
The next thing he remembers is that his face felt painful and Shintaro was screaming at him but the enchanting moan and extremely flustered expression he got out of the boy is all worth it.
Ever since they started being more familiar with kissing each other, Haruka have been finding himself standing in front of the mirror checking at his tongue. It started out as a small thought of how the other will think of him when they kiss and this is what he ends up with. Unsatisfied with only how much he can see through the mirror, Haruka tries bending backwards to get a better look. Getting closer and closer towards the mirror until suddenly, all he can see is a mass of different colours. Confused, he straightens himself and rubs his aching back for a while before checking at the mirror.
It seems that his breath fogged up the mirror since he got too close at some point. Feeling embarrassed somehow, he laughs at himself for over reacting and proceeding to point his index finger out to draw a happy face on the blurry spot. Squatting down a little and adjust himself until his face is covered by the simple doodle on the mirror.
Laughing again until he noticed that Shintaro is standing right behind him.
Leaves are falling everywhere as it's autumn now, people around them have either started accepting them or just stay a good ten foot away from them. So Haruka tries to comfort Shintaro when he feels a little upset about being avoided by more people than before, as if having people at school hating him for whatever reason they have is not enough. Shintaro may act as if everybody is not worth of his time but Haruka believes that he just don't understand others and nobody really helped him to understand when he needed to.
Haruka aims to talk his lover through, telling him to look at things in another way and kept trying even when all he got was near negative replies while making sure his advices don't sound too harsh although he knows it's quite impossible to actually convince Shintaro to rid himself of his ego and bad thoughts as first, Shintaro is pretty much stuck like that; second, Shintaro is adorable just like that and third, he loves him just like that.
Even if people tries to tell him that hey, the boy that goes by the name Kisaragi Shintaro is just plain bad news, and he is pretty sure there are people who are telling Shintaro something similar in a way, harsher and more degrading in a way but he knows that his heart towards his lover will not change and without a doubt thinks that Shintaro would think the same way, giving the boy a kiss and a hug whenever the topic is brought up.
It's until a few weeks later since Haruka was told that his boyfriend is bad news, he and Shintaro are lying on the grass just talking about random things throughout their lives. They were both taking turns on talking about rather insignificant events that are random in every single way until the topic had some how directed itself towards the time when somebody said something bad about him to Shintaro. He notice how the boy is fumbling with his words when he talk about how they would question him whether he actually loves Haruka, how the heck would somebody like him be able to love anybody at all and eventually ends the topic quickly.
Haruka is slightly upset at how Shintaro is doubting their relationship although he knows that having a question like that constantly drilled into ones head would eventually lead to this. Why would they be so mean? Well, a sickly boy with a proud genius, an odd combination isn't it? Putting that aside, Haruka is glad that he had already memorised all the lines he taught himself to say for this exact moment, in case Shintaro ever doubt about their relationship, in case he ever doubt about he himself, he had convince himself that they are meant to be together, there's nothing wrong to be together, he could accept everything Shintaro is and he loves him.
Even though he rehearsed a million times just for this moment, he finds himself unable to speak up, words getting trapped in his throat as an uneasy lump made itself comfortable in there. This is one of the times he could make sense to his partner, to make this insecure boy who lacks so much understanding for relationship to truly understand, his love is real for him. But to convey this exact information which holds no form whatsoever is hard, more than that it's something considered as nearly impossible.
Giving up on trying to force the words out, Haruka looks up at the sky. A bright baby blue followed by different shades of it filled the sky, a nice warm feeling bubbles up in his chest even if the colour is considered as a cold colour in textbook definition. Blue is the colour that kept him company while he was alone, blue is the colour that reminds him that he's alive and well and blue is also the colour that plagues the skies when Shintaro confesses to him. He had most of what he had ever wanted out of life so there's really no time to waste on thinking about other people's opinions, the sky is theirs to enjoy, they should look up more into the vast possibilities they could have together instead of lying here wondering about what would the best outcome be if they want to please others, peer pressure, the better outcome for society rumors but the worse outcome for the both of them.
Pushing himself up from the ground, he moved into a sitting position and adjusted himself. When he turn around, he found Shintaro staring right at him, his eyes wide open as if he saw something incredible but forces his eyes away when he tried to move closer. The thought that he may not the only one with outrageous delusions curves his lips into a gentle smile.
Reaching out, he places his hands on either side of the boy's head and leans closer until he's almost lying on top of the other. Their chests are touching, the heartbeats of one another pulses through their bodies as if they were melded together. The heat of another, no , the heat of his lover, it's exhilarating just by feeling his warmth underneath him. Haruka looks into the eyes beneath him, want, anticipation, insecurity and doubt is what he would use to describe the surge of emotion he saw behind those beautiful dark orbs.
Taking the other's lack of objection as an okay, he closes the last distance between them and kisses his forehead, taking in the way how the grass seems to be cradling his lover carefully and how the flowers look so gentle, as if they were there just to act as an accessory of comparison to make his lover appear more fragile than ever just before his lips touched Shintaro's forehead. The whole set up seems unreal as if it was planned to make him realise he could love someone even more than he thought he ever could, this could be a dream, a blissful one at that.
Moving his body down a little, he uses his finger to brush at the other's lips, his heart skipping a beat and he shudders as he emerge himself in the feeling of softness, wonder and perfection. "Shintaro's face must be able to shame all and every tomatoes in the universe now." Haruka chuckle at that thought and leans forward to kiss his lover on his lips, tilting his head to the side, trapping the boy beneath him with himself. He could feel Shintaro trembles underneath him, his heart beat is already a sequence of disaster and the hot air that hits his face ever so often serves as a sign that his breathing is also out of rhythm. There was never a need to complicate each other with society views, taboo relationships and whatever they call it, a simple kiss is enough to convey their feelings to each other ......
and turn his lover into a pile of mush that would faint if this keeps up for more than 20 seconds.
It's pretty hard to keep himself from putting too much of his own weight on Shintaro though, his arms feel sore already and he believes that if he were to add more weight on the fragile boy, the air in his lungs would be forced out and he might just faint for real. So instead of staying in this position, he uses his strength to pull Shintaro and flip their positions. Shintaro seemed surprised by the action and tries to leave when he's free but a hand behind his head and back pulls him back down to continue the kiss. Lips sliding against lips over and over again until the boy gives up on trying to get away, letting Haruka's tongue slip into his mouth and returns the action in kind, throwing the thoughts about being embarrassed behind his head and enjoys the feeling of warmth and affection that is given by the other.
Everything seems to fall into place perfectly until both of them realise they weren't breathing, unwillingly breaking apart to suck in the cursed and blessed air that keeps them alive. Haruka was still catching his breath when he feels something on his left hand, opening his eyes to take a look at it, he found Shintaro's hands on his, fingers entwining gently as Shintaro had somehow caught his breath earlier than he did, then again he is healthier in comparison.
"I'm sorry" Shintaro said, embarrassment and guilt evident in his tone.
There was a moment of silence as Haruka tried to figure out the meaning behind the apology.
"For doubting our relationship I mean." this time he leans forward and let his weight rest on Haruka, a comforting weight if it doesn't feel like it's going to squash him but that doesn't matter at the moment since Shintaro feels so much at peace now, it's one of these times that he too felt relief overflowing within himself, relief at the fact that they still love each other and let out a confirming hum as a verbal-less response.
The tree above them looks amazing, swaying by the wind. The atmosphere is calm and soothing enough for him to close his eyes for a while and embraces the entire atmosphere gladly. But as he enjoys everything that felt right in the universe, he thought that he should say something that he have always been thinking about, something that he had never doubt and grew stronger ever since the day his lover confessed. How should he start though?
"Hey Shintaro... " the first words tumble out of his mouth unconsciously and he regrets immediately, he sounds so lame.
"Yeah?" surprisingly, the other replies. Going as far as to pushing himself up so he could take a better look at him, the fact Shintaro actually cares about him, more than anybody else would have, could have.
The expression Shintaro have right now is entirely perfect.
" I don't know if you'll ever believe me but... "
A sudden wind messes up both of their hair a bit, tickling his face and as he raises his right hand up to tuck it behind his ear, he finds Shintaro being completely oblivious of it, letting his hair sways about and continues to pay attention to the person in front of him as if he is the only thing that mattered in the world while a thought about the fact he haven't notice how cool the boy looks flashes through Haruka's mind.
This is fate
Without taking his hand away from the side of his head, he collects every single piece of love and affection he felt towards his lover and tries hard to show them through a smile, his eyes closes a little in a loving way as he speaks.
" I am forever yours."