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Heartbroken

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Summary: A mistake. It was just a mistake but this mistake has ruined my life.

Pairing: Snape/Lily.

Disclaimer: not mine.

A/N: okay, this is my first attempt at translating. I’m French so I’m sorry for any mistakes you may find.

 

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Heartbroken.

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It was Over.
It was Done.
It was Dead.

*

And I felt a little more heartbroken each time I thought about it.
A friendship ruined. Because of a word.

A cursed… Despicable… Cruel word.

A word that reflected nothing, nothing but a lie.
And my heart bleeds for this stupidity.
This *mistake*.
Mine and nobody else's.

*

I am dejected to see her get away from me. I’m watching, helplessly, as our friendship ends this way.
It's my fault, I pushed her away.
I pushed her limits, too much, and for far too long.

And I blame myself. I regret it.
Infinitely.
But I understand that our relationship will probably never be fixed.

A forlorn hopefulness consumes me and then I’m going after her, to apologize.
But she’s not listening to me. She will not listen. She doesn’t want to.

Never.
Not today or any other day.

I found it cruel but this decision is not mine to make.
It's over.
Definitely.
I lost *her*.

My best friend.

*

I panic because I don’t know what else to do.
This ache… I don’t understand my own emotions.
It’s oppressive and it scares me.

And then… nothing.
The total vacuum. Nothingness.

I have this feeling that my heart betrayed me. I don’t grasp these feelings within me.
Understanding will come later.
Harsh and uncompromising.

And I cry ... because the enormity of what just had happened finally gets to my brain.
Because it’s the only thing I'm capable of.
In the infinite despair I feel at this moment I feel that this is the only concrete thing I have left.

My tears and memories of my time spent with her.
Our moments together.

.... Forgive me .....
Lily ...

 

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