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Fateful Desires

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Tanya had never really intended for it to happen. She really, really hadn't.

From the moment she met him and his family, Tanya had been fixated on Edward. She carefully observed the dimples in his cheeks, the warmth and spark in his stunning green eyes when he laughed, the softness of his touch and his striking bronze hair. Every image, every sight of him evoked a strange, warm feeling inside her, lust and longing growing inside her with each passing day, making her more desperate. However, she saw those eyes lighting up for Isabella Swan, the mousy girl that just moved next door to the Cullen and Denali family. Every day, Tanya saw Edward touch Rosalie and Alice, his sisters and his mother. She couldn't stand that someone else, even family, was allowed to touch him in any way, and she was restricted to occasional hellos, smiles and nods when they passed each other in the mornings. Tanya realized that she needed a plan to get to Edward. And she needed it fast.

When she planned, the ideas were completely innocent at first, how she would get him alone and talk to him, trying to reason with him. She wanted to convince him that she was the only one right for him, so she could hold him close and kiss him even if he said no. Tanya knew that Edward was hers and hers alone, he just didn't know it yet.

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Months had passed and Tanya found herself thinking about it more and more, detailing what she would do to get to Edward and then to him, until the images wanted to become a reality. They snuck in her daydreams and finally morphed into dark, violent fantasies. Her frustration grew with each grain of time passed and for Tanya, she was no longer satisfied with a plan forming in the back of her mind, the images that soothed the deep yearning she felt for Edward, which started to ruin her life, putting a wall in the relationships between her and her sisters. She spent every waking moment longing for Edward, seething when she saw him kiss that wench from next door. Tanya felt anger toward Edward for not noticing her, for not wanting to talk to her, to just listen.

Tanya thought that the first things she bought were quite simple, supplies she wanted anyway. She tried to convince herself that she was just shopping for every day needs when she bought handcuffs and a strong lock for her basement door. She tried to reason that the basement needed to be cleaned out anyway, that it would be perfect if it was convertend into another room, with bars on two tiny windows.

Things escalated though. Ropes, Leather restraints that you see in old mental institutions. Strong sleeping pills that she stole from Eleazar's pharmacy. Tanya hesitated when she bought a whip, thinking her sisters might find that strange, but Kate commented nothing on it. All three faired haired sisters had their share of men in the past. Tanya wasn't concerned about Irina and Carmen, as they lived with their husbands, and Kate lived more on the campus than at home really. Her mother was long dead, dying when all of them were teenagers.

Even at point in her life, when Tanya bought all supplies, she never really thought that she would go through with it. She realized that her fantasies of tearing into Edward's flesh in extasy were getting out of hand, Tanya really knew that, but she hoped that her affection for Edward would lessen, that her respect for him might win.

She was so, so wrong.

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One day in the afternoon, Tanya saw Edward reach out to hug Bella after she came home from college. At the beginning, it might mildly annoy her, but now, she felt herself become a monster, a deadly, and oh so very cruel force tugging at her throat, and she got rid of Bella with a well concocted lie, and begged Edward to come in her house for some friendly coffee. With some sleeping pills as a sweetener.

Tanya watched Edward fall into a soft slumer, almost sliding off the kitchen chair. She felt the burning jealousy and ache settle in her chest. Curiously running her fingers through Edward's hair, Tanya noticed that they were even more soft that she had imagined. She continued trailing her hands over Edward's biceps and she kissed his mouth. She kept telling him that she would be good to Edward, that she would make it good for him. Tanya repeated that over and over again as she dragged Edward's heavy body through the kitchen and down to the basement.

She didn't really count on the difficulty of getting Edward naked. By the time that she completed that and got him tightly secured with leather restraints and handcuffs, Tanya was panting with exhaustion. She didn't know if it was from the effort or the thrill of intimate touches, while she trailed every patch of skin with her fingertips. When Edward was tied up like he was supposed to be, Tanya glided to the door and locked it twice, just for good measure. She counted on Kate not coming home tonight, but rather staying at Garrett, her current boyfriend. She wasn't taking any chances though. Tanya stepped to the radio and turned on some romantic, classical music that she thought Edward would like. She began to realize that there was nothing left than to wait and she did so with great fear. What would happen if Edward hated her? Did she go too far? Would he accept her advances? Would he accept the things that she really, really needed from him? And Tanya needed so much.

Edward woke up an hour later. Tanya was so tense that she actually jumped up at the man's sleepy groan. She wanted to hit herself, because she really wanted to use a blindfold, but she thought that the act wouldn't be received so well.

She slowly saw the panic settling in Edward's eyes. His body caught up with him soon and he began trashing around, trying to fight the restraints. He looked around the room with wide eyes, until they landed on Tanya. He seemed to be in shock with disbelief, because Edward suddenly became so still.

Tanya grinned as she stepped out of her summer dress. This, this was what her dreams and fantasies were made of.