Like so many other groups of friends who ended up sharing an apartment, Hayato and his friends had certain undersandings and arrangements.
The place wasn’t quite as small as some of the holes-in-the-wall shared by students. There was a bedroom, which was pretty much where they kept all their stuff. There was a living room big enough for them to put out three futons – two guys always slept in the bedroom.
And there was also some sort of tiny room or large cabinet that the guys called The Closet.
They figured it was a leftover from when the apartment building was remodeled a long time ago. Whether it was an attempt to split a room in two that didn’t go quite right or just that a previous owner wanted a really big closet, they didn’t know and they didn’t care.
They just decided, from the get-go, that The Closet would be their privacy space. Whenever one of them needed a few moments alone – to have a phone conversation with a family member, to work on something for school quietly, or just to have a few moments of “me time” – they used that closet. (It was also where two of them would go if they wanted to have sex with each other.)
The understanding was that if The Closet door was all the way shut, you didn’t come in without knocking, and if you were the one in there, you were under no obligation to answer that knock if you didn’t want to. It was an agreement they all kept, because they knew it went a long way toward keeping the peace in their home.
Hayato was in there on this particular evening – because even the most boisterous member of their household needed some quiet time. Especially when he had a lot to think about regarding their career. He was still in that zone between “fanboy” and “insider,” and it was kind of a strange place to be. Part of him felt like he was living the dream. Part of him was still feeling the pressure of living up to their contest video with their first feature project – even though Uruha had praised their script to the stars.
He was lying on the futon he’d dragged in there, looking at his phone, when a knock came on the door. He raised his head. “Yeah?”
“It’s Kana,” said the voice on the other side. “Can I come in?”
“You think I’m going to say no to you?” Hayato said. “Of course.”
The door opened, and Kana slipped in, looking a bit shell-shocked. “Hey, there, cutie,” Hayato said, holding his arms out to him. “Come here. You look like you need a hug.”
“I do . . . kind of?” Kana shut the door and lay down next to Hayato on the futon. Hayato grabbed him up in his arms, which, Kana had to admit, he needed more than he thought. He lay his head on his friend’s shoulder, nestling against him.
“So, what’s up?” Hayato said.
“I had a talk with Wakamatsu-sensei today,” Kana said, quietly, naming one of their film professors. “He found out about us.”
“What do you mean?” Hayato said. “You mean – he found out we’re working for PSC Productions?”
“Yes,” Kana said. “He pulled me into his office and said he wanted to talk to me in ‘strict confidence.’ And he said he has a friend who’s a writer for one of the industry magazines. The guy had been to a couple of our student film screenings, and when he got his review copy of Aoi Presents, well . . . he recognized us.” He sighed.
“Shit,” Hayato said. “Really? Are you two in trouble?”
“That’s the thing,” Kana said. “We’re not. He said to me that we’re not the first students at that college who’ve been involved in the adult video industry and we won’t be the last. He said that there were a number of female students in the past who worked in both hardcore and pink film – mostly to pay their tuition. He also said there’s been a few who worked behind-the-scenes, as cameramen and set decorators.”
“Huh,” Hayato said. “I had no idea. If I’d known that, we could have gotten a foot in the door sooner!”
“But he did tell me we had to be discreet about what we were doing,” Kana said. “We’re not to go around bragging, or using it to get attention or dates. Not that we’d do that.”
“You two?” Hayato said. “Not at all.”
“And then he told me . . .” Kana let out a deep sigh. He’d obviously gotten to the part that was really bothering him. “He said that he respected our decisions since we’re all adults, but we should really reconsider what we’re doing. Because he said we’re too talented to be making porn.”
“What?” Hayato raised his head. “Are you fucking kidding me? He said that?”
“Yes. He said he could understand why we’re doing it short-term, but he said we shouldn’t get hooked into it. He said the business is full of unscrupulous people who use guys and toss them aside, and also, if we get too deep into it? We’ll be associated with porn for the rest of our lives, and won’t be able to get a job in ‘real’ film.”
“I don’t fucking believe that!” Hayato said. “Dammit – I thought Wakamatsu-sensei was a nice guy! He shouldn’t be telling you how to run your life and your career!”
“But that’s the thing,” Kana said. “He’s someone we've always trusted. And he has that friend who writes for that magazine. Maybe he has inside info? Maybe he knows something about the industry that we don’t?”
“He doesn’t know the people we’ve met,” Hayato said. “You think he’s met Uruha? Uruha has been nothing but great to us. And helpful. And Aoi-sama – well, we didn’t meet him very long, but he was really great, too! And then there’s Mahiro and Subaru, and . . .”
“I don’t know who to listen to. Who to trust. I’ve trusted my professors the whole time I’ve been in college. They believed in us – in all of us. And now, well, I hear this . . .”
“We're too talented for porn?” Hayato was starting to get seriously annoyed. “Really? Has Wakamatsu-sensei seen any of the stuff that's come out recently? I mean, has he seen videos like Datenshi Blue and A Mirror for the Modern Man and . . .” He draped an arm across his forehead. “Fuck.”
“What do you think?” Kana raised his head. “Do you think he’s at all right? If we get too deeply involved, will we ever be able to get out?”
Hayato was uncharacteristically quiet. He had emotions churning in his belly like a raging storm. Who the hell did you believe, indeed. Part of him was furious at his teacher for passing judgement on them. Part of him was confused – there was a tiny seed of doubt that the teacher was right . . .
And part of him just wanted to smack anyone at all who would make Kana upset.
He had to calm down. He couldn’t just fly off the handle – even though he had a tendency to. Kana needed him to be there for him – so that’s what he had to do. Think, stupid, he told himself. Think about what you would want somebody to say to you if it were you in Kana's position.
“There’s only one thing that’s going to give you the answer, Kana,” he said. He reached out and tapped his friend’s stomach. “Right here.”
Kana looked confused. “My belly?”
“Your gut instinct. People can spew words at you left, right and center. And yes, some of those people do mean well. Others can just butt the fuck out. But in the end, only one person is going to know what’s right, and that’s you. If your gut tells you something feels right? You go with it. If it feels wrong? You don’t.”
Whew, he thought. Where the hell did that come from? He was surprising himself even as the words were spilling out. He didn’t think he was capable of being, well, a sage. But there it was. Maybe it was because it was so important to say the right thing to Kana.
“My gut instinct felt very right when we were with Uruha-san,” Kana said. “It’s like . . . he cares, you know? He acted like he really wanted to help us, like he was interested in what we could do.”
“There you go,” Hayato said. “And maybe we’ll use this as a bridge to another career. Maybe we’ll decide that we want to stay in this industry. Does it matter where we are, as long as we’re comfortable and happy?” Damn. Hayato was impressing himself more and more. I'm good at this advice stuff, he thought.
“My family isn’t going to be happy if we stay in porn,” Kana murmured.
“Yeah, but in the end, your decisions are your own, right? And they have to respect it if you decide that’s ultimately what makes you happy. Your parents are cool. They tolerate me even when I’m going nuts at their parties.”
“My mom thinks you’re adorable,” Kana said. “Weird, but adorable.”
“Your mom knows me too well,” Hayato said. “You don’t have to worry, Kana. You’re going to be successful no matter what you do. You’re talented as hell, you’re smart, you’re adorable, you write better dialogue than any of us, you’re a great cameraman and . . .”
“You’re a great on-camera fuck. I mean, a REALLY great one.”
Kana blushed. “Can I tell you something . . . private?”
“Of course,” Hayato said. “I don’t blab. Really. Okay, I told everyone about meN-meN dating that assistant professor, but he’d already put a selfie of the two of them on Instagram. This isn’t like that.”
Kana laughed. “It’s that . . . when we were doing those scenes together, both when it was just you and me, and when meN-meN was involved . . . I liked it. I mean, I really liked it. I got more turned on than I’ve ever been. I almost felt guilty about it afterward.”
“Why feel guilty? It’s a really common kink to like being watched. There’s nothing wrong with it.”
“I mean, I got turned on because . . . because it was you,” Kana said, quickly. “I . . . I liked the idea of people seeing us together. I don’t know why. I kept thinking that it was you doing all those things to me, and people would be seeing you making me come, and . . .” He looked away. “Forget I said that.”
“Why?” Hayato said – as he realized his heart was in triple overdrive. And why the hell was that happening? “I really liked it too. Being with you, I mean. I always have – onscreen and off. You’re damn hot and you make those delicious noises when you’re being sucked or fucked and, well, you’re a lot of fun to cuddle with afterward.”
“Really?” Kana said.
“Best cuddler that I’ve ever been with,” Hayato said. “And I mean it.” His fingers were starting to trail lightly along Kana’s arm. He loved to touch this guy. He always felt smooth and warm and inviting . . .
Hayato knew that, quietly, he’d always considered Kana his favorite roommate on every level, though he definitely couldn’t say anything about that out loud. Couldn’t have chaos in their household.
“If you keep that up,” Kana said, “I might want to do more than cuddle.” He arched into the touch, leaning his head back.
“I’ll have to keep doing it, then,” Hayato said, running his hand over his friend’s shoulder, up his neck, to his lips . . . his fingers traced the shape of his friend’s mouth, running over those soft petals, which opened up so he could slip inside . . .
When Kana sucked on his finger, Hayato let out a low moan. “That’s it,” he said. “We’re definitely going to be getting naked. I want to kiss every inch of you now.”
Kana slid his mouth away. “Is it okay?” he said. “I mean, with the others out there and still awake . . .”
“We’re in The Closet. They’re flat-out expecting guys to fuck in here.”
Kana laughed and started to pull his clothes off. “Long as they don’t try to come in,” he said. “Because I want you all to myself right now.”
“That can be arranged,” Hayato said, starting to get undressed himself, then reaching into the corner to make sure the condoms and lube that were always kept in The Closet were still there. They were.
“So . . .” Kana lay down on the futon, completely naked. “What do you want me to do?”
Hayato ran his eyes up and down the other man, illuminated softly by the bare, never-as-bright-as-it-should-be light bulb in the ceiling. He took in the flat belly, the rise and fall of his chest as Kana breathed heavier in anticipation, the nipples starting to stand out from his chest . . .
“You can just wait for me for a second while I lock the door,” Hayato said. He reached over and did so, his fingers trembling a bit.
Then, he just about pounced on Kana, flinging himself on the futon next to the other man, pulling him in his arms and kissing him, his tongue slipping into Kana's mouth almost immediately. Kana lifted his head a little as he responded, starting to let his hands roam over Hayato's body, touching his shoulders and back.
They rolled over so Hayato was on top, and he started to kiss rapidly down Kana's neck. He'd promised to cover his whole body with kisses, and he was going to deliver. He moved down and over to his shoulder, starting to run his tongue down his lover's arm, pausing halfway down to his elbow to leave a trail of kisses again.
When he worked his way down to Kana's hand, Hayato traced his tongue up the palm, slowly, making his way to the index finger. He moved upward along it, until he got to the tip, at which point he drew it into his mouth and sucked.
“Oh!” Kana gasped. “Oh, Hayato . . .”
Hayato moved to the next finger, kissing the tip, licking it, then taking the middle two fingers in his lips, moving down on them and sucking hard. Kana writhed, moaning loudly, the attentions of his mouth just making him imagine Hayato kissing and sucking another part of his body.
He pulled the fingers out quickly, moving over to Kana's belly, kissing in a small circle, making the younger man shudder. Hayato responded by sweeping his tongue upward in a rapid line, until he was circling a nipple, flicking his tongue over it, then lowering his head, sucking at it.
“Yes,” Kana moaned. “Oh, God, don't stop, don't stop ever . . .”
Hayato raised his head and said, teasingly, “Do you make this much noise with other guys?”
“No,” Kana moaned. “Only with you.”
“You mean that?” Hayato flicked his tongue over the other nipple.
“Yes!” And he gasped as Hayato began to suck again, grabbing the back of the other man's head, pulling him down and holding him in place as he writhed beneath him.
Hayato rolled on top of Kana again, and Kana wrapped a leg around his hip, bringing their cocks into contact, starting to grind against him. Hayato began to match his movements, their mouths coming together in another fierce, hot, wet kiss.
“You're so fucking hard,” Hayato panted when their lips parted. “You feel so good . . .”
“I want you in me,” Kana said, breathlessly. “Please . . .”
“In where?” Hayato teased, before nipping at Kana's chin.
“In my ass. I want you to fuck me hard.”
“Do you know how hot it is to see a sweet boy like you talking dirty?” Hayato said, rolling off him. “Okay, show me that ass.”
Kana rolled over, and Hayato's head was suddenly filled with a fantasy of watching Kana and Subaru fuck, seeing two seemingly sweet boys getting nasty with each other, sucking and stroking and tonguing one another . . .
When he began thinking of the two of them curled around each other's bodies, mouths full of each other's cocks, he knew he should stop that train of thought right now, or he was going to come everywhere.
His fantasy was replaced by the beautiful reality of Kana pulling his knees up, putting that ass on full display. Hayato lowered his head, starting to kiss along it, fuck, it was so firm and rounded and gorgeous, the perfect ass for a guy's hands and mouth. He was just sorry he didn't have any Saran wrap, so he could tongue-fuck him – but running into the kitchen stark-naked to grab the stuff was beyond even his standards.
He contented himself with reaching for the lube, coating his fingers and kissing along that ass again as he pushed one in, feeling Kana shudder under him.
“More,” Kana gasped, and Hayato pushed the second finger in, thinking that Kana was so eager, he wanted this so badly . . . well, he did, too. His erection was aching to be in this gorgeous bottom that he was currently nipping, his teeth pressing just hard enough to make Kana arch and moan.
By the time the third finger penetrated, Kana was gripping the futon, his face pressed into the pillow, trying to muffle his moans of anticipation, even though he knew damn well their roommates had heard them by now.
“I want it,” he murmured. “Please . . .”
Hayato reached for the box of baby wipes that was beside the condoms and lube – this place was definitely flat-out equipped for sex. He pulled his fingers off, cleaning them off quickly, then rolled a condom on, pouring lube over it. He poured it over the cleft, too, Kana parting his legs, opening himself wider.
Then, he moved into position behind the other man, pushing against that little opening gently and slowly, feeling himself push into Kana's tight heat. God, he felt like a miracle. This was the kind of ass Hayato used to fantasize about when he jerked off in the shower, so gorgeous and hot, seeming to pull him into the other man's body.
He paused for a moment as both of them breathed heavily. “You feel so good,” Hayato said.
“Oh, my God,” Kana moaned. “Move, please . . .”
Hayato began to thrust, slowly, and Kana gripped the bedding again. It was such a temptation to plunge into him, but he had to be gentle and considerate, at least at first. Gradually, he sped up, moving faster, pushing deeper, hearing his lover moan in response.
He looked down, and saw Kana writhing beneath him, starting to move backward against his thrusts . . . he ran a hand over his back, feeing the hot, sweat-damp skin, moving up to his shoulders.
Hayato raked his nails lightly downward, just hard enough for Kana to feel the tiniest hint of pain atop the intense pleasure, and Kana thrust backward hard, crying out – which made Hayato grab the younger man's hips, thrusting into him fast and hard and deep.
He felt that glorious ass all around him, clutching at him, making him feel like he could do this for the rest of his life. He reached around and under him, wrapping his fingers around Kana's erection, stroking it in time to his thrusts.
“Oh,” Kana gasped. “Oh, I'm close, I . . .”
Hayato's hand moved faster, fingers fluttering up and down the shaft, thumb rubbing over the tip, wanting to push his lover over the edge, hear his cry of ecstasy . . .
It came moments later, Kana pushing back against Hayato as he nearly screamed, his body trembling with passion, his come pouring over Hayato's hand . . . and Hayato thrust hard into Kana, letting go with a loud cry, the pleasure exploding through his body until he thought he'd explode along with it.
They collapsed to the futon together, panting, lying in a heap. Kana just leaned against Hayato, breathing deeply, and Hayato held him close like he didn’t want to let him go – ever.
“I don’t want to move,” Kana murmured. “I feel . . . wonderful.”
“Then don’t move,” Hayato said. “We can stay in here. In fact, I want to stay in here.” He kissed Kana’s nose. “They can make all the jokes about us being in The Closet they want, cutie.”
“Oh, I don't think they will,” Kana said. “We’re not exactly In the closet . . . well, that way.” He snuggled closer to his friend. “I’m glad I talked to you tonight. Not just because of this. It’s just that, well, we don’t get enough time where it’s just the two of us, you know?”
“We’ll have to make time,” Hayato said, wrapping his arms tighter around Kana. “As much time as you want.”
As they drifted off to sleep, both of them were thinking pretty much the same thing – they wished they could be here like this with each other every single night.
Though neither one was exactly ready to say it out loud.
* * *
Outside the door, Kana and Hayato’s roommates tried to avoid the sounds of their passion. Chamu plugged headphones into his computer, meN-meN and Yume played an unusually noisy video game with the sound turned way up.
“You’d think we’d be used to it by now,” Yume said, glancing anxiously toward The Closet.
“You’d think they’d have the guts to say something to each other, you mean,” meN-meN said.
Chamu pulled out his headphones. “Are you kidding me?” he said. “Admit what we’ve been seeing for years? That they’re madly in love with each other? You think that’s going to happen?”
“Hey, miracles happen,” meN-meN said. “We all graduated, didn’t we?”
“I haven’t, yet!” Yume said. “Don’t forget that!”
“I had top marks in ALL my film classes,” Chamu said. “All of them.”
“And your other classes?” said meN-meN.
“My film classes made up for that!” said Chamu.
A loud moan sounded from The Closet. Yume looked a bit uncomfortable. “Let’s save the game,” he said, quickly. “I’m going to the conbini.”
“I’m going with you,” meN-meN said.
“Might as well join the party,” Chamu said. “They’ll be asleep by the time we get back.”
They slipped out the door quietly, leaving the entire apartment to the two in The Closet. Not that they exactly noticed or cared right now. Not when their entire world at the moment consisted of each other.
Everyone, it seemed, knew they were a couple but them.