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Angry Canada

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"Silly Canada this is game not beverage..."

"Canada the place where they hide drinks in bleach bottles....apparently."

"Silly Canada this is game not sweeties..."

"Silly Canada this is game not towel...or towels. Oh good grieve what is wrong with you?"

"Hey Canada I'm worried about you I'm going to call your family."

***

"Die pigs die!!" Canada cackled as he played angry birds while eating angry bird themed sweets. Canada's mobile started to ring with let's go to the mall by Robin Sparkles. "Fuck off I'm finishing this level!!"

As the last pig died, Canada got 3 stars again, he picked up his phone. "Hello Canada speaking." He spoke softly.

"Yo Canada bro!" America screeched down the phone as he normally does. "I just got this call from this Nerd Cubed guy saying he's worried about you. What's happening man?"

"Dude nothing's happening." Canada said as he had another pig shaped sweet.

"You on the Mary Jane again?" America asked more concerned than he had been before.

"Dude I'm not doing drugs!" Canada shouted down the phone.

"No need to get so defensive bro..." America trailed off.

"Talk to you later America." Canada said as he hung up the phone. "Fucking Merkin."

***

3 levels of angry birds and a bag of sweets later, which actually didn't take that long, Canada's phone rang out with let's go to the mall again. Seeing papa Frances face come up he debated for a few second before answering.

"Bonjour ma petite Mathew." France accented voice came through the phone.

"Bonjour papa. Why are you calling me?" Canada said in his normal voice.

"I received a worried phone call from a concerned citizen claiming you had a thing for angry women. I just want you to know that I support your choices and that I have some books you can lend on the subject." After that the French man hung up with out so much as a goodbye.

"Cheese eating surrender monkey." Canada said as he through his phone down on the couch and started playing angry birds on his tablet.

***

"Hello." Canada said down the phone to England while he was making some Pancakes for dinner.

"Canada son, I've heard you've gotten obsessed over some game-" England started before he was cut off by an angry Canada.

"Not you too. Look America and France have already talked to me about thins and I'm not even sure France understood what was going on. But I don't need a lecture I will be fine." He finished with a huff.

"Oh I know." England said loudly. "I just wanted to know what game it was, the person on the phone wasn't very clear."

"Oh Angry Birds." Canada replied in shock.

"Oh I do enjoy that game. Cheerio-Oh." Canada put the phone down muttering something about poison food as he mixed the pancakes.

***

"I should really change my ringtone." Canada muttered as he answered his phone for the forth time. "Cranky Canada speaking how may I direct your call?"

"Who got on your pancakes?" Prussia asked down the phone. "Anyway open the door I'm freezing my awesome off out here." Canada threw his phone down and went to the front door to flick the lock before returning to his little nest on the sofa.

"Pancakes are in the kitchen just heat them up in the microwave." Canada shouted out to Prussia who was in the hall.

"So what's got on your tits?" Prussia asked as he plopped down next to Canada with a plate of pancakes.

"According to some Nerd Cubed guy I'm addicted to angry birds." Canada sighed as he pinched some of Prussia's pancakes. "The guy somehow got hold of America, France and England's phone numbers and told them. I mean France thought it was some kind of kinky sex thing. England just wanted to know what the game was. While America thought I was doing drugs, well more than I normally do."

"So?" Prussia asked. "America can't talk cos he has some drug issues and he's such a weebo too. England's completely obsessive over that blue box and that psychopathic detective and his not gay boyfriend. And anything France is unsure what it is assumes its some kind of sexual fetish."

"That's true." Canada laughed. "So how about some crap telly?"

"Sounds like a plan." Prussia said as he kicked back.