Work Header


Work Text:

It was the most surreal thing he'd ever seen. A veritable ocean of young women, each of them clutching a photo or a small sign with a declaration of eternal love, screaming a cacophony that would have done justice to the choirs in hell...and they were all here for David. It was a good thing he wasn't the jealous type.

Their car had taken them as close to their small trailer as it could without turning any of their fans into living speed bumps but it was definitely far enough away to make Robert unhappy. David was silent and pale, and dammit, this photo shoot was supposed to be private! It was always nice to see the studio protecting their interests. At least there were some police officers as well, keeping the two of them a body's length away from the crowd. It was just less than the reach of an arm and that, unfortunately, would have to do.

He pressed an unobtrusive hand against the small of David's back, ostensibly to guide him but more as a reassurance that he wasn't facing this billowing swarm of adolescent hormones on his own. A few more shuffling steps, the officers guiding them with aching slowness towards their trailers.

There were a dozen cameramen scattered around them but when he felt David gasp, felt him tremble beneath his hand as the crowd made a sudden surge in their direction again, Robert had had enough. He wrapped an arm around David's shoulders and pulled, holding him as close as he dared while the two of them crammed in against the feeble barrier of their police escorts.

David could kill him for it later.

What felt like at least an eternity and a half later, they were finally, finally, there, the grate steps as welcome as a stairway to heaven as the officers pushed the crowd back enough for them to open the door. He all but shoved David inside and couldn't resist turning around and giving the crowd of girls a wave and a wink. The sudden increase of volume was cut off as he closed the door but Robert grinned smugly, anyway. At least a couple of the girls were here to see him. Can't let David have all the fun.

Oh, right, David. Who was standing a few feet away and looking at him, eyebrows raised, and Robert felt a flush creep up from under his collar. He had rather molested him in front of a few hundred people, hadn't he? Yes, he had.

"Sorry about that," he mumbled. Well, no, he wasn't but it was probably better not to advertise.

"Well, aren't you just the knight in shining armor?" David asked archly, batting his eyes. "Saving me from the firebreathing dragonettes outside?"

"Well, I couldn't let 'em wrangle my best cattle, could I, partner?"

"I said knight, not cowboy."

"Yeah, but that's the only accent I can do."

David sighed and shook his head. "I suppose that will have to do then." He flopped down on the small sofa --in some circles it was actually known as an arm chair but the studio insisted two people could sit on it. Robert agreed, two people could if they were on exceptionally good terms and didn't mind sitting on each other more than the cushions. How convenient that they didn't.

At the moment though, David didn't seem inclined to share. He threw an arm over his eyes and groaned. "My mother would be simply appalled to know I was involved with someone who mangles the English language the way you do." David peeked out at him from under his arm when he heard Robert snort.

"Somehow, I doubt your mother would invite me over for tea and crumpets if I polished up my grammar."

"Don't be ridiculous. No one eats crumpets these days."

Now it was Robert's turn to roll his eyes. All right, technically, David hadn't rolled his eyes but he should have. It wasn't his fault that these Brits couldn't figure out basic conversational etiquette. He walked over to the sofa and gave David a nudge on the arm. "Scootch over."

He did, giving Robert just about a quarter inch more space than he would have had before. With a silent shrug, Robert wedged himself into the tiny square of cushion, ignoring David's much more verbal squawk of protest.

"What on Earth are you doing?!"

"I'm sitting down."

"Did it escape your notice somehow that I was already sitting here?"

"Actually, that was part of the appeal." Since he was already practically sitting on David's lap, it wasn't difficult at all to lean in and press a soft kiss against his cheek. He felt David trying not to smile.

"Yes, I do seem to be irresistible."


David did smile then. "Which one of us was going through the crowd the last time and blowing kisses to the ladies?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I believe you actually kissed the hand of one of them. Her friends had to catch her when she swooned."

"I plead the fifth."

"You can plead whichever one you want, I didn't sign your constitution."

"You don't have to sign it, you just..." Robert sighed. "Never mind. What the hell were we talking about?"

"I really have no idea. I do know what I was thinking," David eyes were gleaming in a way that made Roberts stomach do a lazy somersault. "I was thinking that my brave use a reward for his brave services."

He shouldn't ask, he shouldn't ask, he really shouldn't ask..."You do?" Robert asked, wincing mentally at how stupid he sounded. Oh, well, if David didn't know by now what kind of idiot he was involved with then they were probably on the same level, anyway.

"I do." David nodded solemnly. "I was thinking perhaps something along the lines of sucking your cock."

Obviously, one of those screaming women had managed to bean him in the head with a flying shoe or something, Robert decided, because he was sure he'd just heard David offer to suck his cock. The blush that was coloring David's face, all the way down to his collar seemed to confirm it. Yep, he definitely had a concussion.

"The idea doesn't appeal?" David asked uncertainly, his hopeful expression faltering.

"Well...yes...I mean...of course it does!" Robert sputtered, anything to banish the faint hurt in those blue eyes. It worked, suspiciously well, and he yelped as David somehow slithered out from beneath him to kneel on the floor.

"Good." The next yelp was a little higher pitched when David wrapped his arms around his waist but he was left with no sound at all when David pressed his face into his lap and hummed softly in contentment. "You always feel so warm," he murmured.

It was hard to separate thought from pure lust, especially when lust was insisting that David looked damned good like that. "Are you serious?" Robert hissed, "There are a thousand screaming girls out there!" He looked furtively at the curtained windows as if expecting a few dozen of them to burst in right at that moment.

"And how many screaming girls will there be if I don't give you a blowjob?" David asked in a voice that was attempting to be reasonable but was more like trying to be in a phone booth with a dozen squirrels; completely insane. Robert was still trying to puzzle that through when he felt David neatly unfastening his belt.

"You're broken," Robert blurted out, trying, and failing spectacularly, to convince his own hands that they should be stopping David's from undressing him. His hands had apparently defected to the other side though, and instead were helping tug down his pants. Traitors. "I broke you. You were such a good guy when I met you."

"Would you like to see how good I can be?" Complete with a very obscene eyebrow wriggle. God. He'd completely corrupted the poor boy.

What a shame...

Despite his brave words, David didn't exactly give the best blowjob in the universe. Considering that this was the first one he was tucking under his belt, that wasn't exactly a shock, but it hardly mattered because plain enthusiasm made up for a hell of a lot. Robert couldn't help gasping, throwing back his head and dimly feeling it collide with the wall as David sucked him with sweet, clumsy eagerness.

Christ, what was it about this guy? Robert touched the back of his head with shaking hands, just wanting to feel him and he felt David murmur in appreciation, shuddered with the sudden vibration. David's hands slid up his thighs, warm and sweat-slick and one of them wrapped around his cock in a basic blowjob assistance move. Apparently, David had been paying attention from time to time.

It was too wet and too slow and absolutely, completely perfect. "Just...a little..." Robert tried to gasp, and he swore he wasn't going to push David's head down but that didn't stop his hips from arching up, seeking just a little more of that slick heat. He felt David gag, felt him pull off just a little and he almost apologized before David took him in again as deeply as he could, damned determined little Brit and, God, he was going to, he couldn't stop...

"David," he managed, trying to make it a warning, not even knowing if David understood when the world finally splintered apart and he came, the light behind his eyes going bright red for just a minute and it was almost too good, agonizingly good and he felt David swallowing around him, his tongue kitten-soft on the tip of his cock as he lapped away every drop.

Carefully, Robert tugged him away, cupping his face in his hands. David looked completely debauched. Deep blue eyes, flushed cheeks, his lips pink and faintly swollen; if they went outside right now every single person out there would know exactly what they were just doing. It was terrifying how much he wanted to drag David out there, right now, and show them all exactly who had the right to touch and who didn't.

Instead, he leaned forward and kissed David's soft, too-hot mouth, searching for his own bitter flavor with the tip of his tongue. Much as he liked giving blowjobs, he'd never found the taste of his own come to be very appealing. Until he'd tasted it on David.

Just who was corrupting who, here?

Long minutes of stunningly gentle kisses before David finally pulled back and smiled up at him impishly. "So how was that for a reward, cowboy?"

"That was..." Startled at the tremor in his voice, Robert cleared his throat and tried again. "Wasn't half bad," he said, carelessly, and David laughed.

"I'll remember that next time I make the offer," David said with a wink, climbing to his feet. "'Not half bad'. I'll say, and you'll suffer tragically from your cruel wor--" He yelped as Robert grabbed him and pulled him into his lap, kissing him hard just to shut him up. It didn't take much to have David moaning and squirming, wriggling in just such a way that had Robert's already sated cock trying to perk up and take notice.

"God, you are so.." Robert started, his words cut off by a sudden knock on the door.

"Mr. Vaughn? Mr. McCallum? It's Makeup."

"Shit," David hissed, rolling to his feet and Robert didn't even have a chance to be startled by the curse before David yanked him to his feet. "You might want to fasten your pants," he hissed furiously, arranging himself carefully on a chair so that his own little, or not so little, problem wasn't so visible.

"Sorry, pet," Robert tried, laughing softly as David glared at him, probably for his terrible accent as much as the name, "Only the cowboys get rewards, not the damsels in distress."

"I'll be sure to remember that."

"You are aware that you look very much like you just gave me a blowjob."

"Don't be ridiculous," David sniffed. His own false Russian accent was much better as he said, "Who would ever believe Illya Kuryakin would do such a thing with his partner?"

"If you say so," Robert said dubiously as he went to let the Makeup people in. "If you say so."